My wife and I are having a lot of problems in our marriage, have been for quite some time. Infidelity on both sides. Unresolved childhood trauma. Lack of trust and honesty from both parties. We have a wonderful life and two amazing children and are best friends, have been since high school.
We're both starting therapy (separately) and then maybe marriage counseling. And I suppose this is one of those things that I can expect or hope to work out in therapy? But right now, how do I know if I should stay in my marriage?
What signs did you have that your marriage was over or was salvageable?
posted by anonymous
on Apr 9, 2013 -
13 answers
How many successful Film Directors are happily married...to their first wife (or husband)?
Answers may be given as an estimated percentage if that's easier. [more inside]
posted by mousepad
on Mar 7, 2013 -
18 answers
My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside.
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posted by six sided sock
on Feb 26, 2013 -
40 answers
I think my marriage may be irreparably broken. The idea of splitting up is agonizing, but if things don't turn around soon, I can't stay.
But. I don't know what to do about our cat, and it's tearing me apart.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 20, 2013 -
39 answers
It seems to me that if you've been fairly happy for many (10 - 25) years, this trend would continue. For many people that doesn't seem to be the case. I am interested in hearing theories or experiences regarding that.
How can something that worked for so long cease to work so suddenly?
posted by Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night
on Feb 19, 2013 -
71 answers
I split up with my wife a couple of months ago, and have been doing really well since then. Recently I've been feeling a little bit like she's been stalking me on social media, and today I've woken up to messages asking me why I'm in contact with someone from my past. How do I handle this?
(I've tried to anonymise this as best I can)
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 24, 2013 -
45 answers
Have you been in a marriage or LTR where you were on the brink of breaking up but then you didn't? If so, how did that work?
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posted by dawkins_7
on Jan 15, 2013 -
10 answers
How should I address the fact that my boyfriend's unstable ex-wife continues to inappropriately contact him and his family?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 27, 2012 -
22 answers
I'm ready to leave my unhappy, borderline-abusive, caretaker-y marriage (details in a series of posts, most recently
here). Do I just wait until I've got all my ducks in a row and then go, or should I be kinder, and give my spouse some kind of notice period.
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posted by six sided sock
on Nov 23, 2012 -
69 answers
I feel like I am experiencing sleep paralysis--I know I want to wake up but I just can't move. I've had no shortage of difficult life challenges over the years. Leaving a drug-addled, abusive family behind, holding dying loved ones, quitting cigarettes, I've ended LTRs in the past (and had them ended by partners too). I am not an over-thinker or an indecisive person and this feels so weird.
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 2, 2012 -
5 answers
My sister is separating and likely divorcing her husband after 15 months of marriage, and my family strongly disagrees with her decision. Do we tell her this?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 21, 2012 -
65 answers
I have recently separated from my wife of 6 years and have moved out of the family home into temporary accommodation. It has been about a month since I left and I am in a very confused place at the moment. My wife has put forward an ultimatum that is tearing me apart and I would appreciate some perspective from the hive mind.
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 25, 2012 -
79 answers
I'm increasingly certain that my marriage is dying, and I need some help negotiating the time between now and my first realtionship counselling appointment. (Apologies for the long post)
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 24, 2012 -
27 answers
My friend is in extreme crisis after his wife of seven years left him completely out of the blue. I'm not sure what to do to help him. Relevant details inside.
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posted by ronofthedead
on Jun 8, 2012 -
19 answers
I just asked my husband for a divorce and he is in complete denial about it. It's like I never asked. How do you tell someone you want a divorce when they won't listen to you?
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posted by anonymous
on May 29, 2012 -
17 answers
I'm trying to convince my wife to attend marriage counselling with me, but I'm having a hard time doing so. Her opinion of marriage counselling (based on what she's read online) is that it's a waste of money and that a marriage counsellor would "only tell us what we already know." When I've pointed out that a marriage counsellor is there to help facilitate communication, her response has been "if we need a facilitator to help us communicate we're fucked anyway."
Reasons for needing counselling + bonus snowflakery inside. Apologies; it turned into a bit of a mind-dumpy wall of text.
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on May 21, 2012 -
21 answers
Husband's mental health problems led him to compulsively spend over £27,000 (about $44,000) while I supported both of us for three years. I know he'll work hard on therapy, but I don't know if I should divorce him. Should I try and forgive? [warning, long!]
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posted by TriparteGoddess
on Apr 29, 2012 -
62 answers
I've been separated from my wife for over six months. During that time I got involved with someone else, but now I'm thinking about going back to my wife. Please tell me I'm not making a mistake.
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posted by quoth_the_raven
on Apr 23, 2012 -
53 answers
I'm lost. I'm facing divorce of my wife of 5 years. I've been with her for longer than that, 10, 12 years. We have a 3 year old son. I need help. How can one survive this?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 21, 2012 -
37 answers
Date filter: When do I tell my date that I'm in the middle of a divorce? Also, how should I go about telling?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 1, 2012 -
34 answers
What do you wish you knew before you committed to a relationship with a divorced person who has a child?
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posted by JoannaC
on Jan 12, 2012 -
21 answers
I have a question about broaching the awkward/weird topic of marriage with my current SO. (Warning: I'm providing as much _anonymous_ backstory as I possibly can, please forgive any awkward grammar in view of this)
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 3, 2011 -
21 answers
Should I tell my (potential) new boyfriend about my marriage and divorce? Or can I keep this secret like I want to?
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 28, 2011 -
53 answers
My estranged ex-husband committed suicide a month ago. I am unsure about whether I need grief counseling or not or how much good it's going to do me.
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posted by asockpuppet
on Nov 12, 2011 -
22 answers
I changed my name. Or perhaps I did not. I'm not quite sure any more, and suddenly it matters quite a bit.
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 20, 2011 -
6 answers
My wife and I married over 27 years ago when she and I were 25; we’d known each other for three years. Our marriage has had its ups and downs--in many cases, the "downs" were provided by her unwillingness/inability to communicate honestly and openly and by my anger at same as well as my on-and-off depression. That said, we always had fun and shared love. In particular, I always stuck in there during arguments in order to try to get her and us to a point of honest communication.
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Aug 13, 2011 -
38 answers
Why is the divorce rate higher for those who have lived together before marriage than those who haven't?
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posted by coraline
on Jul 12, 2011 -
17 answers
Can this marriage be saved? Infidelity, drug and alcohol abuse, low libido, and ADD... but are those reason enough to leave?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 27, 2011 -
38 answers
My boyfriend recently finalized his amicable divorce, but I am more wary than ever. What are the emotions one goes through after divorce and what sacrifices are required on my part? It's a little long - thanks in advance for reading.
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posted by gardenbex
on Apr 8, 2011 -
23 answers
How do I convince myself to get a divorce, and not feel guilty forever about abandoning someone who loves me? And doesn't have a job. And can't get health insurance on her own.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 31, 2011 -
83 answers
Please help me find descriptions of the psychology or "standard" process of women who approach and are willing to cheat with married men.
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posted by Acer_saccharum
on Mar 24, 2011 -
8 answers
Is sexual incompatibility enough of a reason to end a 15 year marriage? It seems like a lame reason, but she would prefer to do it once a month, while he has the urge once a day (but I'd settle for once or twice a week). Is there any hope for this couple?
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posted by hoodkeyben70
on Mar 23, 2011 -
93 answers
My husband treated me unfairly for a long time, I got emotionally set to divorce and ... now he's doing all the right things. Internet, is it already over?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 1, 2011 -
43 answers
How do I stop myself from second-guessing my decision to get a divorce? Does the little bit of doubt mean that I'm doing the wrong thing? Are there any books or resources for people in my situation?
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posted by catfood
on Feb 16, 2011 -
43 answers
I never changed my name after I got married, but I signed my name with my husband's last name on several legal documents. Now we're getting divorced, and my lawyer tells me that I have to request in my MDA that my name be restored to my maiden name. I live in Tennessee. Help me understand this please!
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posted by mudlark
on Feb 3, 2011 -
19 answers
We are visiting my wife's parents in another state. Suddenly my wife wants me to leave without her and to leave our son in her custody. Can she do this?
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 27, 2010 -
25 answers
