140 posts tagged with divorce and marriage.
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I am married and have left our shared religion. Can I make this work?

When my husband and I got married we were both practicing Muslims. We've been married almost 3 years and now I don't think I believe anymore. Can I make this work despite the religious differences? [more inside]
posted by deeba on Aug 22, 2015 - 17 answers

I want a divorce, he doesn't

After a long consideration phase, I have decided that I want a divorce but my partner is refusing to start the formal process. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2015 - 25 answers

How to survive life post-divorce?

Need advice from the hive mind on life after divorce. More inside... [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Jul 7, 2015 - 8 answers

How to navigate a potential divorce?

Hi. This is me. I have been thinking for a couple weeks and am leaning towards divorce. I have multiple questions about this. [more inside]
posted by a strong female character on Jun 24, 2015 - 41 answers

Do I tell my friend that her husband left her to date a former student?

Should I tell her what my ex-friend is up to? If so, how should I tell her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 20, 2015 - 31 answers

How did you organize your decision making around divorce?

I'm debating getting divorced. I'm interested in the decision-making process. If you've debated getting a divorce - whether you ultimately decided to or not - what did your process look like? What did you do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2015 - 24 answers

Marriage models?

Looking for research on good marriages, not memoirs or personal anecdotes. My therapist asked me the qualities of a good marriage and I hadn't a clue. My immediate family are all unhappily married, and I only recently realised how fearful my own marriage is and left. I basically assume that "If they're not beating you or cheating on you, that's enough." I'm looking for what comes after reading John Gottman: research on thriving marriages, including multicultural or historical. Books, documentaries, films and novels, scholarly keywords etc. I'm not looking for personal accounts but bibliography recommendations.
posted by dorothyisunderwood on Mar 22, 2015 - 15 answers

Best practices for talking to a child about separation

I need help figuring out the best ways to explain separation/divorce to my extremely precocious 6 year old. I'm hoping that this process can be as compassionate as possible all around, but the idea that I'm "ruining her life" by considering ending our marriage is plaguing me. Books, anecdotes, what you told your kids, etc - anything would be helpful. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2015 - 19 answers

Is my marriage so unusual?

The other night I asked my husband if he is happy and, after about 30 minutes of thoughtful consideration, he said he feels the concept of a long happy marriage is overrated and that he "isn't not happy." He is satisfied. [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife on Mar 8, 2015 - 33 answers

I think I've fallen out of love with my husband. What now?

More detail below the cut, but mostly I'm seeking some experience and wisdom from the hivemind on the more existential aspects of this realization, and maybe a reality check if needed. Thanks. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2015 - 24 answers

How long do you keep trying, with kids in the mix?

At what point in the long, slow, steady decline of a marriage with young children does "we should keep trying to work things out, if only for the kids" become "for the kids' sake, we shouldn't be together"? [more inside]
posted by El Curioso on Dec 19, 2014 - 57 answers

How to make the best use of two (only two!) mediation sessions

My spouse has long resisted going to couples’ mediation, despite on-going problems in our marriage. After a particularly bad fight a few days ago, my spouse reluctantly agreed to attend two sessions. I’m responsible for selecting the mediator. What’s the best way to extract the most benefit from just two sessions? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2014 - 15 answers

Separation without moving out?

Can you have a trial separation while still both living in the same house? [more inside]
posted by El Curioso on Sep 20, 2014 - 24 answers

Good Source for Relationship Statistics

Does this exist? The popular myth is that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but those numbers are slippery. Is there a place with a good breakdown? [more inside]
posted by Athene on Aug 6, 2014 - 9 answers

Should I get back together with my ex-wife?

I could really use some input to help me sort through all of this. At 40 years old, she was having a lesbian affair and asked me to move out. I was devastated. But in hindsight, our marriage wasn't a good one. And I suppose it was just a matter of time before something came along to unravel the whole thing. Now she wants me back. I have no clue how I even feel, much less if I even want to try again. Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by normal_guy on Jul 17, 2014 - 37 answers

The "how" and the "who first"

While my concerns about divorcing my spouse are numerous, there are two in particular that I could really use some advice on. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 3, 2014 - 20 answers

Marriage in trouble, wife refuses relationship counseling. What next?

My wife Jane and I are in our 40s and have been together for eight years. We got along well for the first few years, but things have been steadily going south since then. In theory, we both want to improve our marriage, but we are not making much progress on our own. I could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2014 - 48 answers

Should I leave my husband?

I married my husband almost a year ago. Prior to that we had been dating 6 months. I am 21. This person is my best friend who saved me from a very dark place in my life. He means a lot to me, and does so much for me. [more inside]
posted by wilywabbit on Apr 24, 2014 - 53 answers

How do I work out what to do next, without disrespecting my marriage.

Out of nowhere it seems, I’m considering asking my wife for a divorce and I can’t figure out if its because I met someone else I feel I’d really like to get to know or because I’ve realized that we just aren’t meant to be. Or am I just being a douche for even considering throwing away what I’m confident almost anyone would agree is a marriage to a great woman? Sorry for the long story… My wife is a great person – of course – why would you marry someone you didn’t think this about? The list is huge – she’s smart, funny, empathetic, gets me, is very beautiful and will one day I know make a really wonderful mother. I know most would say all of this about their spouse, but even with rational eyes, the above is true. She has bad points too for sure, but no need to list those off as well. We’ve only been married about 18 months, but together for some time before this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2014 - 58 answers

How do people find money to move out when separating or divorcing?

A asks B for a divorce. B is not surprised. B agrees, even though B would prefer to stay in an unhappy marriage rather than be branded with a scarlet D*. A wants to move out ASAP. Generally speaking, how do the financial logistics of this work? No special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2014 - 17 answers

SSRIs and the end of romantic love

Four months after my husband went on Lexapro, I could see it in his face that he didn't love me anymore. At seven months, he asked to separate after four years of marriage. After finding this article online, I'm curious as to whether others have had similar experiences. Have you or your spouse experienced a decline in attachment/romantic love after starting an SSRI? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2013 - 71 answers

Considering divorce... or depression

Married almost 3 years, together for over 4 years. My husband is a funny, arrogant genius, and when I first met him he was very kind to me. Right after we got married, things changed... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 24, 2013 - 52 answers

My future just doesn't fit anymore

When leaving is terrifying, but staying's unbearable: please help me figure out what to do. [more inside]
posted by morninganyway on Nov 1, 2013 - 42 answers

How to live with my wife before the divorce?

My wife wants to leave me. In late March I discovered an affair she was having. We went through several months of what can best be described as "limbo" while she tried to decide what she wanted to do (leave or stay). At the end of July she announced "when I'm able, I'm going to move out." Problem is - the economics of this are basically impossible. So we still live in the same house. How can I make this easier for me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 6, 2013 - 66 answers

Need advice: Is it time for a divorce, or do I ride this out?

Should I seriously be considering a divorce now, or give it more time? And if I do want to initiate a split--how do I do it, since this will totally blindside him? What else should I do to prepare if it comes to that? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2013 - 27 answers

How to prepare for a divorce that might or might not be coming

My husband is talking about getting a divorce. It is unclear to me whether he is serious or whether he is having a midlife crisis of some sort. Without knowing whether we will or won’t get divorced, what should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 3, 2013 - 35 answers

Finally moving on - BUT how do I prioritize what's next..

So finally, I decided to take the bold step and move on to a bigger and brighter future (Hopefully, anyway!). I decided to divorce, on the grounds that I deserve better. [more inside]
posted by Spice_and_Ice on Aug 4, 2013 - 12 answers

How to prepare for a possible divorce?

A family member has confided in us that divorce is a distinct possibility. She has asked for advice on how to prepare for such eventuality. And I'm turning to the green to help us answer that question. Though as is customary, there is a monkey wrench thrown into the mix. [more inside]
posted by 7life on Jul 25, 2013 - 11 answers

When do you know a marriage therapist isn't right for you?

What are reliable questions that a person in marriage therapy can ask to determine that they are probably not with the right marriage therapist and should try someone else? Put another way, how can a person in marriage therapy know that the match with the therapist is a bad fit, as opposed to the problem being with the patient himself/herself? [more inside]
posted by scunning on Jun 25, 2013 - 14 answers

I need to end it. Please help me find the words.

The short version of how I got here – love my husband but fell in love with someone else. It’s not fair to him but I just don’t know how to say what I need to say. (Much) longer version inside. [more inside]
posted by outoftime on Jun 10, 2013 - 53 answers

"I'm not going to change"

The other day I had already had a bad day when my husband made an insensitive and crappy remark about something. I replied with tears in my eyes and said that he really had no idea about [subject]. Husband ignored that and then 5 minutes later cheerfully asked if I wanted to watch tv. I said no. He was surprised that I was "still mad" and we tried to talk about it, but I shut down because I felt vulnerable and remembered past talkings where I always felt like "too sensitive" and nothing would change anyway. This time, my husband apparently also thought the same because he said "Well, if you're unhappy, maybe you don't want to continue this relationship, because I'm not going to change". [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2013 - 40 answers

Tips to keep emotionally in shape during conjugal crises

What are the things that you did during a conjugal crises that helped you? [more inside]
posted by TheGoodBlood on Apr 9, 2013 - 4 answers

How to know if I want to stay in my marriage?

My wife and I are having a lot of problems in our marriage, have been for quite some time. Infidelity on both sides. Unresolved childhood trauma. Lack of trust and honesty from both parties. We have a wonderful life and two amazing children and are best friends, have been since high school. We're both starting therapy (separately) and then maybe marriage counseling. And I suppose this is one of those things that I can expect or hope to work out in therapy? But right now, how do I know if I should stay in my marriage? What signs did you have that your marriage was over or was salvageable?
posted by anonymous on Apr 9, 2013 - 13 answers

Directors and Marriage Longevity

How many successful Film Directors are happily married...to their first wife (or husband)? Answers may be given as an estimated percentage if that's easier. [more inside]
posted by mousepad on Mar 7, 2013 - 18 answers

To stay [gone] or go [back]?

My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 26, 2013 - 40 answers

On the brink of divorce, don't know what the hell to do about our cat

I think my marriage may be irreparably broken. The idea of splitting up is agonizing, but if things don't turn around soon, I can't stay. But. I don't know what to do about our cat, and it's tearing me apart. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 20, 2013 - 39 answers

Why do people get divorced after many, many years together?

It seems to me that if you've been fairly happy for many (10 - 25) years, this trend would continue. For many people that doesn't seem to be the case. I am interested in hearing theories or experiences regarding that. How can something that worked for so long cease to work so suddenly?
posted by Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night on Feb 19, 2013 - 71 answers

Is it still your business even though I left?

I split up with my wife a couple of months ago, and have been doing really well since then. Recently I've been feeling a little bit like she's been stalking me on social media, and today I've woken up to messages asking me why I'm in contact with someone from my past. How do I handle this? (I've tried to anonymise this as best I can) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2013 - 45 answers

Does anyone make it back from the brink?

Have you been in a marriage or LTR where you were on the brink of breaking up but then you didn't? If so, how did that work? [more inside]
posted by dawkins_7 on Jan 15, 2013 - 10 answers

My boyfriends borderline ex-wife is making me borderline crazy!

How should I address the fact that my boyfriend's unstable ex-wife continues to inappropriately contact him and his family? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2012 - 22 answers

Can my wife sue me for infidelity (and what does that even mean?)

Can my wife sue me for infidelity (and what does that even mean?) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 23, 2012 - 11 answers

Selfish or selfless? I can't tell.

I'm ready to leave my unhappy, borderline-abusive, caretaker-y marriage (details in a series of posts, most recently here). Do I just wait until I've got all my ducks in a row and then go, or should I be kinder, and give my spouse some kind of notice period. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Nov 23, 2012 - 69 answers

how to initiate a separation?

i'm unhappy in my marriage but my wife is very dependent on me. how do i do this? [more inside]
posted by saraswati on Nov 12, 2012 - 22 answers

Marriage on your permanent record

Does a previous marriage show up on a background check? [more inside]
posted by fugitivefromchaingang on Nov 12, 2012 - 14 answers

I am so stuck. The time has come to end my marriage and I can't get the words out.

I feel like I am experiencing sleep paralysis--I know I want to wake up but I just can't move. I've had no shortage of difficult life challenges over the years. Leaving a drug-addled, abusive family behind, holding dying loved ones, quitting cigarettes, I've ended LTRs in the past (and had them ended by partners too). I am not an over-thinker or an indecisive person and this feels so weird. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 2, 2012 - 5 answers

My sister is separating and likely divorcing her husband after 15 months of marriage, and my family strongly disagrees with her decision. Do we tell her this?

My sister is separating and likely divorcing her husband after 15 months of marriage, and my family strongly disagrees with her decision. Do we tell her this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 21, 2012 - 65 answers

Can a healthy marriage last?

How do I regain my trust in marriage when my role models of healthy marriage are separating? [more inside]
posted by horizonseeker on Oct 5, 2012 - 16 answers

Between a rock and a hard place

I have recently separated from my wife of 6 years and have moved out of the family home into temporary accommodation. It has been about a month since I left and I am in a very confused place at the moment. My wife has put forward an ultimatum that is tearing me apart and I would appreciate some perspective from the hive mind. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 25, 2012 - 79 answers

Things are bad.

Our marriage is crumbling, and it's taking me with it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 13, 2012 - 29 answers

Some semblance of normality?

I'm increasingly certain that my marriage is  dying, and I need some help negotiating the time between now and my first realtionship counselling appointment. (Apologies for the long post) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 24, 2012 - 27 answers

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