694 posts tagged with divorce.
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Ex is getting the house, need legal help in Denver, Colorado

My ex and I are trying to figure out how to transfer the house to her without me losing all of my equity. Unfortunately, she can't afford to just buy me out, and can't qualify for a new mortgage on the remaining loan balance if she's got a loan to me as well. I'm looking for recommendations on finding a lawyer to help vet a legal agreement, and any specific legal methods for making this happen. This is in Denver, Colorado. [more inside]
posted by hackwolf on Mar 31, 2015 - 11 answers

Am I being supporting or sacrificial? Taking things back a step

My boyfriend (just turned 30, and I'm 24) of nearly 7 months is very recently divorced (it was finalized 4 months ago and they have been separated for 9). He's the most open and communicative person I've ever met and keeps me as much in the loop as I need to be about where he's at and how he's feeling regarding his loss (but also keeps some details to himself that I probably don't really need to know about.) Our relationship started out very mutual and enthusiastic, and mostly still is but he's taking a few steps back to analyze himself and it's triggering my relationship anxiety. I don't know whether to trust my gut or quiet the fear. [more inside]
posted by korrasamus on Mar 30, 2015 - 25 answers

So, it turns out I've been married for the past two years. Help?

I found out today that the divorce I filed two years ago did not, in fact, go through. However, I've been filing my taxes as a single person during that period. What should I do? Are there other legal issues I may not be considering? Neither of us want and did not want alimony and we have no children, so that's not a concern. Thanks.
posted by Fister Roboto on Mar 26, 2015 - 9 answers

Marriage models?

Looking for research on good marriages, not memoirs or personal anecdotes. My therapist asked me the qualities of a good marriage and I hadn't a clue. My immediate family are all unhappily married, and I only recently realised how fearful my own marriage is and left. I basically assume that "If they're not beating you or cheating on you, that's enough." I'm looking for what comes after reading John Gottman: research on thriving marriages, including multicultural or historical. Books, documentaries, films and novels, scholarly keywords etc. I'm not looking for personal accounts but bibliography recommendations.
posted by dorothyisunderwood on Mar 22, 2015 - 15 answers

Best practices for talking to a child about separation

I need help figuring out the best ways to explain separation/divorce to my extremely precocious 6 year old. I'm hoping that this process can be as compassionate as possible all around, but the idea that I'm "ruining her life" by considering ending our marriage is plaguing me. Books, anecdotes, what you told your kids, etc - anything would be helpful. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2015 - 19 answers

Is my marriage so unusual?

The other night I asked my husband if he is happy and, after about 30 minutes of thoughtful consideration, he said he feels the concept of a long happy marriage is overrated and that he "isn't not happy." He is satisfied. [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife on Mar 8, 2015 - 33 answers

Getting divorced. What do I owe the in-laws?

I'm getting divorced after 20+ years of marriage. Once everything is official and done and legal, what is the etiquette in terms of ongoing interaction with my ex in-laws? Is it normal (that is, expected or required) to maintain some kind of relationship afterwards (especially as there are kids involved—teens, though, not toddlers)? Or am I free to no longer have to deal with them, and leave all that to my ex-husband?
posted by anonymous on Mar 8, 2015 - 15 answers

Financially supporting my ex-spouse - what's fair?

Please help me come up with some ideas about what kind of spousal support is fair. I've been the primary breadwinner, but he has NOT been home with the kids. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Feb 22, 2015 - 36 answers

How strict are residency requirements for getting a divorce in NY?

I am about to start a divorce process. I was in NY for couple of year and got my marriage certificate from NYC clerk. As part of separation I moved to NJ last October. Now, as I start the divorce process, I am wondering how strict are the courts about residency requirement. [more inside]
posted by questionsquestions on Feb 17, 2015 - 12 answers

How best to tell (not my) kids about separation?

My sister thinks it's time her children knew about the fact that my husband and I are separated. I agree, but we disagree about how to approach it. I would appreciate some objective hivemind advice please, as I have no idea if I'm being unreasonable or not. Lots of text, advance apologies. [more inside]
posted by outoftime on Feb 13, 2015 - 28 answers

I think I've fallen out of love with my husband. What now?

More detail below the cut, but mostly I'm seeking some experience and wisdom from the hivemind on the more existential aspects of this realization, and maybe a reality check if needed. Thanks. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2015 - 24 answers

When the end is nigh....

Currently in a marriage where the love has faded. Looking for advice. Blah. Blah. Blah. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2015 - 28 answers

Should I try to handle these two legal cases at once?

Should I try to deal with these two difficult and scary legal situations at the same time? I have been in an abusive marriage for years and am thinking about divorce as things are getting worse, but also, a few months ago I got raped by a person I knew and trusted. [more inside]
posted by Anya17 on Jan 28, 2015 - 16 answers

How to survive a separation and divorce

I am in the beginning stages of separation and divorce. I am the initiator and it is completely one-sided. How do I survive the various feelings I'm going through? Bonus: with tween children. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Jan 21, 2015 - 15 answers

How do I talk to people about my divorce?

I got divorced a few years ago and I am not in pain about it anymore, except I kind of am. How can I it make a thing I am not hiding from work acquaintances, but also give the sense it isn't something I want to talk about? [more inside]
posted by half life on Jan 20, 2015 - 23 answers

Should I stay or should I go?

Tonight, my husband again stated that he is unwilling to change things that are negatively impacting our marriage. I'm looking for resources that will help me determine if I should try to fix this or walk away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2015 - 28 answers

Su casa es mi casa, but I'm not sure we want it.

We ended up hiring a lawyer to assist in enforcing the divorce "agreement" and won! Or did we? The total judgment against the ex is 50K and he is required to sell the property. At the hearing, he tossed us a curveball and offered up the property in lieu of selling it himself. I'm confident we would not be able to turn around and sell immediately to cover the debt owed. Should we force the sale or hold onto it in hopes of making a profit? [more inside]
posted by Mysterious Trousers on Jan 12, 2015 - 15 answers

Looking for a lawyer south carolina family law

My ex hasn't seen our kids in years. He has called about three times total in 2014. He did miss birthdays and Christmas though. Youngest son doesn't know who his dad is. Oldest son wants nothing to do with dad. Ex owes over 10k child support. He recently started paying child support again. He has expressed interest in having the kids over the summer. I worry because when we did live in the same state ex would regularly beg for me to take the kids back early so he could watch football. [more inside]
posted by Noyra on Jan 9, 2015 - 5 answers

How to improve my relationship with my mom

Since my parents divorced, my mom grew more distant from me (and my sibling), particularly when she met a new man, to whom she is now married. I don't know where to go from here to improve our relationship. My apologies in advance for the wall of text that is about to hit you. [more inside]
posted by Blissful on Dec 28, 2014 - 25 answers

Recommendations for Maryland Separation Mediator

I'm looking for a good mediator or lawyer in Maryland who would be able to mediate a separation agreement for my in-laws. Ideally, they are near Gaithersburg/Rockville and have some familiarity with Chinese language/culture. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2014 - 1 answer

What should the future with my ex look like?

My husband cheated on me and left me after nearly two decades of a wonderful, loving, respectful marriage. The betrayal came out of nowhere, and involved emotional and on occasion physical abuse. I can't just go no contact, because we've got a daughter, we're financially entangled, and we will be for years. I am having trouble forging a new, post-marriage relationship with him because I'm deeply hurt, raw, angry, sad, and disoriented. I also can't picture what that relationship even looks like. And he has asked to spend all day on Christmas here at the house ... I don't know if I can handle it. [more inside]
posted by Capri on Dec 21, 2014 - 66 answers

How long do you keep trying, with kids in the mix?

At what point in the long, slow, steady decline of a marriage with young children does "we should keep trying to work things out, if only for the kids" become "for the kids' sake, we shouldn't be together"? [more inside]
posted by El Curioso on Dec 19, 2014 - 57 answers

Do I tell or do I let it go?

My soon-to-be ex-wife is having a long-term affair with a married man. Should I tell his wife about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 15, 2014 - 43 answers

How will I know?

If it were someone else describing their marriage I would tell them to get a divorce. My brain screams this at me every time some new bullshit happens, almost every day. But the thought of our actual real-life relationship breaking up and going away, and him being out there in the world alone, makes me feel sick and sad. Does that mean we shouldn't get a divorce? What does it mean? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 14, 2014 - 40 answers

You Never Cleaned Your Room And That's Why Mom and Dad Got a Divorce

I think my mom blames me for the collapse of her marriage, I'm not quite sure how to process that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 10, 2014 - 54 answers

Married for 38 years -- divorcing now -- how painful?

After 38 years of a struggling marriage things fell apart this past weekend. MeFites give me some assurances that this is the right thing to do at this stage in my life. [more inside]
posted by OkTwigs on Dec 9, 2014 - 18 answers

Preserving self-estrangement after dad's divorce

A long time ago, my dad divorced my mom and got remarried. I cut off his side of the family for a long time. Recently, we reconnected. How do I tell my dad that I don't want to be involved with his family, or him, in the nicest possible way? [more inside]
posted by panem_et_circenses on Dec 3, 2014 - 15 answers

Need advice about getting legal support for divorce in NYC

Hi, I am looking for some information and advice about getting a divorce in NYC. I am hoping for a no-contest mutual agreement divorce but there is a chance that it might be contested if my spouse starts having second thoughts. Both of us are from India and are here on work visa, with she being on my dependent work visa. Due to time, job and corruption considerations, going to India and getting a divorce there would be problematic. [more inside]
posted by questionsquestions on Dec 3, 2014 - 8 answers

Need help figuring out child custody logistics across the border

Long story short, my wife and I are separating and I may try to find work and live in the US (I'm currently in Canada and a Canadian citizen). I'm trying to hear from others who have shared custody of their children where their ex- lives in another country. My situation is across the US/Canada border but I'm interesting in hearing other experiences as well. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 26, 2014 - 14 answers

Names on remarried mother's headstone

I am trying to figure out the best way to name my recently deceased mother on her gravestone. I would like my father's name to be included but I would also like to be respectful of my step-father and of my mother's marriage to him. [more inside]
posted by fries on Nov 25, 2014 - 24 answers

How do I stop the pain and do what is best?

A little over two years ago I posted a question regarding a very difficult situation I was in. The result is - eventually after much trauma we got divorced. Two years have passed and whilst in some respects I have made progress, a terrible situation has now occured and I am weighed down with the weight of the world. Desperately need some hivemind perspective if possible. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 21, 2014 - 12 answers

I am about to be disowned.

Have you ever dropped a bomb on your life? Been disowned by your parents? Shunned by your extended family and community? Please tell me about it. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Nov 13, 2014 - 42 answers

How to move past in - laws taking sides?

Husband and I have been married for many years and working through some relationship difficulties. This summer I felt things were not repairable and asked for a separation in prep for a divorce [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Nov 8, 2014 - 51 answers

Midlife Crisis or Divorce?

I am in the middle of a bad case of midlife crisis which has nearly killed my marriage. I know I am not well, but I also know that I was an unhappy husband for quite a while. How can I tell the two apart? how can you make a rational decision about your life when you know you aren't rational? I am hoping some here have been in this mess before... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 30, 2014 - 28 answers

How best to protect a child when my ex brings him into our arguments?

How should I buffer a child from the stress of divorced parents' arguments when my ex-wife is extremely open with him about adult stresses and about what she wants? [more inside]
posted by kroshka on Oct 24, 2014 - 24 answers

Deadbeat suddenly wants to parent

My ex has suddenly decided he wants to parent again. He got a bit screwed when it came to holidays and summer because based on his behavior during our marriage and the divorce he wouldn't be bothered. Anyways he says he has a lawyer and is going to send me papers to sign to lower his monthly child support payment and adjust holiday visits because he is making less money than when we got divorced. This is likely true he had the best job he has ever had aside from the military when we were getting divorced. [more inside]
posted by Noyra on Oct 22, 2014 - 20 answers

How to not get screwed in a divorce?

I would like to get married soon but there's one thing I'm worried about: my SO has been unemployed for the large part of a year, and I'm not certain he'd have a job when we would want to get married. I live in a equitable distribution state. I'm worried I could get really screwed over if we divorce and am looking for anecdotes/advice (not legal) on how to handle this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 17, 2014 - 30 answers

How to make the best use of two (only two!) mediation sessions

My spouse has long resisted going to couples’ mediation, despite on-going problems in our marriage. After a particularly bad fight a few days ago, my spouse reluctantly agreed to attend two sessions. I’m responsible for selecting the mediator. What’s the best way to extract the most benefit from just two sessions? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2014 - 15 answers

Divorce lawyers in Tri-Cities, WA

I am looking for a good divorce lawyer around the Kennewick, Pasco, Richland area. I need a lawyer who is willing to deal with the respondent living out of state (Louisiana). I don't know many people here since I've only been here two years and tend to be very private about my personal matters. Any good recommendations?
posted by anonymous on Oct 8, 2014 - 2 answers

Perspective on the idea of "growing apart" in a long term commitment?

I recently started seeing someone new, who happens to be the first person I've dated who's divorced. When he told me that he was divorced, he said they "grew apart," after over a decade of marriage, though he also indicated that his ex-wife didn't feel that way, and didn't want to get divorced. I had the sense (though this was a brief conversation, and we're just getting to know each other) that he didn't necessarily *try* to fix things. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 27, 2014 - 26 answers

How can I collect real estate payments due from my ex-wife?

My ex-wife has not paid her monthly fees on the land I sold her in 9 months now. Confounding details within... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 27, 2014 - 11 answers

Divorce recovery: where to go, what to read

tl;dr: My life fell apart, I'm exhausted and not really sure where to go from here. Thinking seriously about a vacation/retreat; looking for suggestions on where I might go, and books/workbooks to take with me. [more inside]
posted by hishtafel on Sep 26, 2014 - 14 answers

Uncontested Change of Child Custody and Support in NM

How do I go about getting an uncontested change of child custody and support in the state of New Mexico? [more inside]
posted by nickerbocker on Sep 26, 2014 - 5 answers

Parental drama - and we're supposedly adults.

My (divorced) father is having a family party in a few weeks to celebrate his retirement. Due to recent actions he has taken against my mother, my younger brother will not attend, and is in fact not speaking to our father right now. Several people at the party are liable to bring this all up. How do I diffuse this drama so it doesn't blow up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2014 - 42 answers

Feeling depressed, lonely, aimless - need help figuring out my life

I'm at a point where I just don't know what to do - I feel hopeless, aimless, and lost; I feel like there's little hope for my life getting better, and that I'll spend the rest of my life alone, just doing... nothing meaningful. I need help. [more inside]
posted by nightdoctress on Sep 21, 2014 - 28 answers

To lawyer or not to lawyer?

Questions about legal proceedings for parenting time in an unusual 'divorce'. [more inside]
posted by blue_and_bronze on Sep 21, 2014 - 47 answers

Separation without moving out?

Can you have a trial separation while still both living in the same house? [more inside]
posted by El Curioso on Sep 20, 2014 - 24 answers

Need someone to help refinance home in the San Francisco area

I'm separated and my wife has the house and has to pay all expenses on the house including loan payments. I went through getting the loan adjusted once, which helped for a while, but now she's behind again. She isn't doing anything herself and hasn't asked for help, but my kids live there too, when they are not with me, But I'm having trouble getting motivated to help out this time. So I'm looking for someone who can deal with the banks to get a refinance. [more inside]
posted by eye of newt on Aug 30, 2014 - 14 answers

Should I file a contempt claim on my ex-husband?

My ex-husband hates me. I mean, REALLY hates me. I left him 4 years ago after years of emotional and verbal abuse, and he still has not once looked me in the eye or spoken directly to me since then. We have a 10-year-old daughter together and the divorce agreement says we should split her medical costs (doctor visits and prescription meds) 50/50. I emailed him to ask him to pay his share ($30) from a recent appointment and he emailed back saying that because he had taken her to get her hair cut, he should not have to pay. He then sent me pictures (!) of some over-the-counter cough drops he'd purchased for our daughter and demanded that I reimburse him for them, saying that if I refused I would "set a dangerous and vitriolic (sic) precedent in our relationship." What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 21, 2014 - 24 answers

Letting go- failure or quitting? what's the difference?

I am having a hard time letting go of something. I have been told that I have an amazing ability to persevere and I can, unfortunately, keep on trying to make things work- for ever! Needless to say, letting a current bad situation go is proving to be near impossible because I see doing that as outright failure, not to mention a complete waste of 1+ year. My friends say its not failure, and I don't think I understand the difference. So I am hoping that maybe you can explain with personal anecdotes? [more inside]
posted by xm on Aug 17, 2014 - 22 answers

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