807 posts tagged with divorce.
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How do I make joint custody work?

I am in the process of getting divorced and I have two sons, ages 4 and 7. How do I make joint custody work most effectively for me and my kids? [more inside]
posted by notme on Jan 12, 2017 - 30 answers

Marriage: Right girl, wrong situation?

I'm Getting married with some jobless soul searching normally done alone. Could it be a case of Right girl at the wrong time? [more inside]
posted by jago25_98 on Jan 5, 2017 - 27 answers

Amend/update divorce decree.

You are not my divorce attorney, but perhaps you can 1. recommend one in the Houston, TX area and/or 2. tell me if my plan to request that the court change our existing divorce decree has a reasonable chance of success. [more inside]
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas on Jan 2, 2017 - 8 answers

heartbreak, long-repressed emotions, and betrayal

I want out of my marriage. I have been faithful, but probably can't hold out much longer. Everything is complicated. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 22, 2016 - 45 answers

Divorced alumni of Metafilter: help a freshman out

Finally I am really, truly going through with divorcing my husband after about a year and a half of delay and repeatedly destroyed optimism. The legal and logistical problems are getting figured out. I'm asking more for emotional coping mechanisms and whatever other wisdom you post-divorce Mefites have to share. [more inside]
posted by a strong female character on Dec 20, 2016 - 29 answers

Dating and family post-divorce

Finally dipping my toes back in the waters after years of separation and divorce proceedings (see previous AskMe posts ...). I don't need dating tips as such - it seems complicated at this age and stage in my life - what I am really interested in here is what happens if any dating turns into something more serious, and how to bring a partner into an existing household with a kiddo. So: How can I think about introducing any new partner to the current household? Thank you! [more inside]
posted by life moves pretty fast on Dec 15, 2016 - 7 answers

Separation limbo!

This was me. We've living apart, not really communicating, and still married. Now what? [more inside]
posted by blackcatcuriouser on Nov 30, 2016 - 17 answers

Books on divorce/living alone

Self-help or non-fiction books on divorce and/or living alone for the first time [more inside]
posted by Laura Macbeth on Nov 28, 2016 - 7 answers

Should I give up on this marriage when there’s still so much good left?

We fixed lots of things about our marriage since my last question, but sex remains an issue. How long should I keep trying? [more inside]
posted by Concertion on Nov 25, 2016 - 18 answers

Ours is not to reason why; ours but to do or die.

Did your spouse leave you for "more*"? If so, what was it like? *More = attention, affection, interest in your needs/hobbies, directed goals, assitance, reliability, intimacy, understanding, emotional labour, enthusiasm, connection, time, etc.... [more inside]
posted by Dressed to Kill on Nov 24, 2016 - 21 answers

Soon-to-be ex-spouse lied on taxes

I'm about a week away from having my divorce finalized, and I just learned that my ex lied on her separate tax returns. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 23, 2016 - 3 answers

Can I buy a future for myself?

I'm middle aged, and I seem to be unemployable. But I have some money. Not enough to live off for the rest of my life, but surely enough to start a business. How do I invest €250 000 in a (low-risk) way that provides me with a job and a modest but steady income? I live in an affluent EU country. [more inside]
posted by kattebjorn on Nov 20, 2016 - 26 answers

Best way to let a semi-friendly ex-spouse know you are getting remarried

How should I let the ex-husband I'm still somewhat friendly with, know about my recent engagement? Difficulty: he (erroneously) suspects that my fiance was a primary factor in our divorce. Lots of details inside. [more inside]
posted by egeanin on Nov 15, 2016 - 24 answers

Girl pays the mortgage, taxes, insurance. Her ex collects half the rent.

My girlfriend and her ex own a two family house. She pays the entire mortgage/taxes/insurance. She lives in one half, and her ex collects half the rent of the other unit. What's her best course(s) of action? [more inside]
posted by smersh on Nov 14, 2016 - 10 answers

Getting past someone when nothing went wrong

How to get past someone when nothing terrible happened and there was no break up and it's for your own good? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2016 - 7 answers

Book or Oral History About Failed Marriages?

I'm doing some research for a story about a broken marriage, and I was wondering if anyone knows of a Studs-Terkel-esque oral history containing interviews with people about their deteriorating relationships or the lies they would tell themselves to keep a marriage together? Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
posted by Bobby Bittman on Oct 20, 2016 - 5 answers

Marriage counseling is off to a poor start. What to do next?

My wife and I are in couples therapy, but I feel like we haven’t made much progress. Help me develop a strategy to get things on track. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 8, 2016 - 18 answers

How do I ensure recovery and healing while continuing to work with STBX?

I continue to work with my soon-to-be-ex husband and I'm having trouble coping with several aspects of this situation. One of the major issues (for me) comes from the fact that I was attempting reconciliation for the longest (while he's always felt otherwise). Would really appreciate suggestions in this regard (particularly from those who've been in similar situations). Details [long read!] inside. [more inside]
posted by satipatthana on Sep 30, 2016 - 11 answers

How to divorce when there's so much love left

We love each other so much and haven't been married long, but he's not willing to try to fix things and I feel like we have no choice but to move towards divorce. [more inside]
posted by blackcatcuriouser on Sep 25, 2016 - 16 answers

Advice needed on difficult custody situation

My partner is dealing with a very difficult issue post-divorce. [more inside]
posted by young sister beacon on Sep 13, 2016 - 14 answers

How do I get things moving in my divorce?

Need help in getting my soon-to-be-ex to cooperate with our divorce process under some stressful circumstances beyond my control. [more inside]
posted by longjump on Sep 7, 2016 - 20 answers

How to move on from jealousy and resentment?

I'm jealous and resentful of my boyfriend's ex-wife. How to move on? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 25, 2016 - 29 answers

Self help book recommendations on self love & personal stories of growth

Presently, I am going through one of the toughest times I have ever experienced: horrible heartbreak, and the loss of what was once my family and life. I am seeking recommendations on self help books possibly in the realm of self love, or learning to cope with loss and not blame yourself, not worrying, or getting out of your own head. What may be of more help is hearing other women (or mens) "survival," or that it DOES get better. [more inside]
posted by MamaBee223 on Aug 24, 2016 - 14 answers

Please help me stay true to myself

I need help in staying true to myself, avoiding self-pity and being naive as I try to conclude my divorce following a long, drawn out separation. Long story below. [more inside]
posted by longjump on Aug 15, 2016 - 15 answers

How to co-parent with someone you still love?

I am looking for advice on how to co-parent effectively with someone, while you are still working on "getting over" them or moving on. What are the best steps you have taken, or you can recommend? It's feels impossible to move forward with your life and from someone you have constant contact with due to a child. [more inside]
posted by MamaBee223 on Aug 15, 2016 - 10 answers

A really good divorce attorney in Clevland, OH

Asking for a friend. Her husband just told her he wants a separation/divorce, but refuses to move out of the house because he wants to co-parent. Lots of details about why they are heading for divorce, but she needs an attorney that will fight for her and kids. She has talked to two attorneys and they seem soft. Her husband is very smart, manipulative, and willing to play dirty. She needs a strong advocate. Help!
posted by Coffee Bean on Aug 11, 2016 - 5 answers

How to forget her... when I see her every day.

How can I forget the powerful romance that I had with someone who has left me... when I see her daily? It was the most passionate relationship in my life and lasted only five months. It was more powerful than my ten plus year marriage. How do I get over this? [more inside]
posted by Draccy on Aug 1, 2016 - 26 answers

Unapproved community property sale in divorce

I am going through a divorce. I am in California. My ex has put our jointly owned home up for sale without notifying me -- contrary to the state's "automatic temporary restraining order" against sale or transfer of property before final judgment. The house is now under contract. I have a lawyer and am not asking for legal advice. This is a question about how the real estate process works. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2016 - 16 answers

Reducing my dog's divorce-related stress

Please help me reduce the stress/separation anxiety and improve the behavior of my 3 year old dog. More inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Jul 13, 2016 - 13 answers

Advise me on marriage.

We're women in our early thirties, non-religious and not planning to have kids. I'm divorced, she's never been married. What do we need to know before tying the knot? [more inside]
posted by possibilityleft on Jul 9, 2016 - 9 answers

I think I want a baby – but not with my husband.

I’m married, mid 30s, and of course, it feels like everyone I know is having children. I love children. I’ve told myself again and again that I’m not going to be a mother. I thought I had made peace with it, and was pretty convinced I did not even want to be a mother. That’s why this seems like a huge betrayal to myself and to my husband.... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 9, 2016 - 26 answers

Separated guy ends it what now?

My divorcing bf of 5mo ended it, saying he wants to fall in love with me and give himself wholeheartedly to me but can't let himself and needs time to heal from his marriage. He messaged next day saying he has set up counselling and will sort everything out, I responded to say he should take the time he needs to heal. He messaged again to say he enjoyed every minute with me and is sorry he's not himself at the moment. Every time he messages it's hard as I miss him but I don't want to cut contact as I hope he'll come back. What should I do?
posted by Anastasia100 on Jun 29, 2016 - 20 answers

things to do to avoid slipping back into troubled relationship

I left a physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive relationship for the second time a couple months ago. It was the first romantic relationship i ever had, lasting from when i was 16 until March of this year (I am 40). I need some help. [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Jun 9, 2016 - 25 answers

Building boundaries for custody and childcare

I'm separated, getting divorced, and have 50% custody of our child. We both have busy jobs. My ex regularly leans on me to provide child care when he is in her custody. With spousal and child support, at the moment, she has considerably more income than me. At times though she either cannot or will not sort out child care at her end. Halp! [more inside]
posted by life moves pretty fast on Jun 7, 2016 - 16 answers

I need money for a divorce attorney. Ideas?

Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. Yay. Except... my wife moved out four months ago, leaving me financially destitute and destabilizing my existence. I need to hire a divorce attorney to protect my rights, but don't know where to get the money. Maybe you are clever enough to help. [more inside]
posted by tacodave on Jun 6, 2016 - 17 answers

Penny wise and pound foolish?

You are not my lawyer, my accountant or my financial planner. Which makes sense, financially speaking, or, what factors should I consider, in figuring out which way to credit my ex for his portion of our marital home. My choices: (1) Pay him 85K cash; or (2) credit him 90K in his tax-deferred Thrift Savings Plan (TSP) from my marital share. I am in the U.S. [more inside]
posted by youdontmakefriendswithsalad on Jun 2, 2016 - 8 answers

Should we get a prenup?

We're getting married! Hooray! But given our life circumstances, does it make sense for us to sign a prenup? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 1, 2016 - 17 answers

Name still on home loan after divorce...

It's been a long frustrating 18 months going through divorce. In trial my lawyer and I tried to get the house, but were unsuccessful. So, Asshat gets the house in the decree and I get a cash settlement. [more inside]
posted by OkTwigs on May 25, 2016 - 13 answers

ISO divorce lawyer in the SF Bay Area

Can anyone recommend a great divorce lawyer in the San Francisco Bay Area? (The couple involved have been married for 20 years and have no children, if that matters.)
posted by désoeuvrée on May 25, 2016 - 1 answer

I need advice on selling a diamond engagement ring.

I've been divorced for 4 years now, and I think it's about time I get rid of my engagement ring. It's a 1.5 carat solitaire in a big hunk of white gold, so rather than chunk it down the sewer, I'd like to see about getting some cash out of it. I've done a lot of reading about different ways to do this (pawn shop, consignment, diamond broker, online site), but I'd like some advice from anyone that has successfully sold fine jewelry. [more inside]
posted by tryniti on May 24, 2016 - 5 answers

Ex-Husband and Taxes

You are not my lawyer. But I want to know if this is possible, and should I find a lawyer? It involves a divorce and taxes in New Jersey. [more inside]
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit on May 17, 2016 - 12 answers

Need a divorce lawyer in Toronto and have no idea where to start

I'm separating from my common-in-law partner and need to find a divorce/separation lawyer who can help me get a separation agreement crafted and signed. I have only ever used a lawyer twice - when I bought & sold my house, and when I wrote my will. I have no idea where to look or what I should be looking for. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 12, 2016 - 8 answers

How to tell a 6yr old child that Mom and Dad are splitting up?

I'm looking for recommendations about what and how to explain to our 6-year old daughter that Dad (me) has moved out and won't be living at home for an extended period (very likely a few months, at least). It's entirely unclear whether I'll be moving back home ever. I'll be with my daughter tomorrow and her mom and I have both agreed that we need to start explaining this to her, and Mom has asked that the conversation happen tomorrow. So I'm trying to get prepared for that - both trying to figure out what to say (or what not to say), and to anticipate what questions my daughter might have. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 8, 2016 - 24 answers

What do I do with my parents and their weird divorce/mortgage situation?

My mom cant pay her own bills after her divorce and me having to pay hers is slowly driving me crazy because I've lost my freedom and flexibility. We have a weird mortgage situation that essentially expires in 2 more years, but I want to resolve it sooner than that so I can move into a new apartment and just feel less stressed. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by nodebunny on Apr 25, 2016 - 14 answers

Accio happiness! 2016 Divorce Recovery Edition

Recently divorced, I filed. Having so much trouble dealing with how I lost financial security, a decent place to live and general happiness. Looking for help/ideas on how to recover and want to go on through life. There are days when it's dragging me over gravel to get up and get going. Sidenote, treated for Bipolar I and medicated. Likely going to adjust. Seeing therapist. [more inside]
posted by Draccy on Apr 24, 2016 - 10 answers

How do we break out of a years long separation limbo?

Over five years ago I (male) decided to separate from my wife. We’ve been married for 16 years. The dam burst of emotion that fueled my decision to separate was spent before going all the way to divorce. She hasn’t divorced me either. Neither of us has dated anyone else. Things have simmered to an uneasy state of limbo, where we’re technically married, yet more like just friends and co-parents. How do you break out of an indecision so powerful that any choice feels like dying? Warning: tsunami of text inside! [more inside]
posted by star fruit on Apr 15, 2016 - 22 answers

How do you know when your marriage over?

Wife and I have been having been in couples counseling for past 5 months for issues that started 2-3 years prior. How do you know when you should stop putting effort into saving the marriage? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2016 - 42 answers

Is a divorce reported to the IRS?

If you get a divorce, is that automatically reported to the IRS? [more inside]
posted by Fister Roboto on Apr 2, 2016 - 7 answers

What is a sensible response to a difficult situation?

My ex-wife has just advised she is taking my kids on holiday in just over a weeks time but the specific accommodation seems to be totally inappropriate for a 6 and 8 year old. She is going to Aya Napa in Cyprus which is renowned as a party resort. I feel very uncomfortable and nauseous. Am I overreacting? [more inside]
posted by numberstation on Mar 23, 2016 - 31 answers

Refinance or Sell? Finances + Ethics

Due to a mediated agreement in divorce proceedings, I'm faced with either refinancing or selling. I planned on selling the house soon anyway, but now my ex-partner is pushing to have it refinanced IMMEDIATELY. Looking for advice...lots more details beneath the fold. [more inside]
posted by guster4lovers on Mar 19, 2016 - 9 answers

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