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Parent may have cheated the other out of significant money. What to do?

I think one of my (divorced) parents may have withdrawn legally shared assets and the other parent may be unaware. What is my moral responsibility in this situation, or is it none of my business? Complexities inside. [more inside]
posted by corb on Apr 16, 2014 - 17 answers

 

Let's see, there's Match, and OKC, right?

A friend was telling me last night that she is ready to start dating again, and thinks that online dating is the way to go, but she has never tried online dating and hasn't the first clue as to how to go about it. [more inside]
posted by vignettist on Apr 11, 2014 - 27 answers

Requesting a tax extension in USA when not sure of filing status

How do I request an extension to file my income taxes when I'm not sure if I will be filing as "married filing jointly" or "married filing separately" and if separately, what deductions/exemptions, if any, I may be entitled to. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2014 - 4 answers

Being a good aunt to kids whose parents are divorcing

How can I be a good aunt to my 13-y-o niece and 14-y-o nephew as their parents split? I want to be someone they can use during this transition. [more inside]
posted by goofyfoot on Apr 1, 2014 - 7 answers

Marital property law in Wisconsin

If anyone here is familiar with marital property laws in Wisconsin, can you tell me if my boyfriend's views are correct? [more inside]
posted by ella wren on Mar 14, 2014 - 10 answers

How do I work out what to do next, without disrespecting my marriage.

Out of nowhere it seems, I’m considering asking my wife for a divorce and I can’t figure out if its because I met someone else I feel I’d really like to get to know or because I’ve realized that we just aren’t meant to be. Or am I just being a douche for even considering throwing away what I’m confident almost anyone would agree is a marriage to a great woman? Sorry for the long story… My wife is a great person – of course – why would you marry someone you didn’t think this about? The list is huge – she’s smart, funny, empathetic, gets me, is very beautiful and will one day I know make a really wonderful mother. I know most would say all of this about their spouse, but even with rational eyes, the above is true. She has bad points too for sure, but no need to list those off as well. We’ve only been married about 18 months, but together for some time before this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2014 - 58 answers

How do people find money to move out when separating or divorcing?

A asks B for a divorce. B is not surprised. B agrees, even though B would prefer to stay in an unhappy marriage rather than be branded with a scarlet D*. A wants to move out ASAP. Generally speaking, how do the financial logistics of this work? No special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 11, 2014 - 17 answers

Dude, you just have to go

Asking for a friend: How do you get your abusive husband to leave your house after you have filed for divorce? [more inside]
posted by dawkins_7 on Feb 3, 2014 - 26 answers

Can we build on soccermom's great post about platitudes?

This post has things that aren't helpful. What can you say to someone that is bullied or abused that does help the situation or bolster someone's self-confidence?
posted by BlueHorse on Feb 2, 2014 - 21 answers

Platitudes that just make you wanna punch back

I am looking for more phrases and platitudes that people give as advice to someone being bullied or having to deal with a nasty ex. Not actually looking for good advice, just gathering the cliche's to use in an art project. [more inside]
posted by lostinspace on Jan 31, 2014 - 64 answers

Procedural/ethical question that may sound like a relationship question

This is a financial/procedural/ethical question, not a relationship question. My SO and I recently bought a house together. The loan is in SO's name, because we got a better rate that way. SO is therefore the official owner right now. Our verbal agreement upon commencing the search for a house, and what we both decided was fair, was that my name would be added to the deed after we closed. We also talked about what we'd do if we split up, and we agreed that one would buy the other out, or we'd split the money from the sale of the home (minus our individual contributions to the down payment). We've moved in, and in typical fashion, haven't gotten around to the deed bit. Actual question after the jump. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 29, 2014 - 23 answers

Spousal Support & Taxes

My mother receives spousal support from a divorce, but it was as a separate contract between her and her ex-husband, not included in the divorce order. She's been having sobbing fits, unsure if she owes the government taxes this year. [more inside]
posted by iarerach on Jan 22, 2014 - 14 answers

What type of mental health professional do I need?

I'm working on separating from my spouse and need objective help on figuring out how to do this (financially, emotionally, working on co-parenting agreements). What type of mental health (or perhaps legal) help do I need to do this? (Like when I'm choosing from the insurance company dropdown menu or googling for people.) I need more than a mediator, I think.
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2013 - 6 answers

How To Get Out

I've been married for ten years. The last four have a been a long downhill slide. I have to end it. Do I give him notice or just go and deal with the aftermath? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 22, 2013 - 22 answers

How do I get a rough estimate of alimony in my upcoming divorce?

My wife and I are splitting up relatively amicably in the state of California. We'd both like to avoid a legal fight over money and income, but after some requests of hers that seem a little unreasonable, I'd like to get an assessment of how our income would roughly split up if we *did* go the legal route. Still, I'd rather avoid paying hundreds of dollars to a lawyer to figure that out. Is there some cheap way to get an extremely rough assessment of alimony? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2013 - 17 answers

SSRIs and the end of romantic love

Four months after my husband went on Lexapro, I could see it in his face that he didn't love me anymore. At seven months, he asked to separate after four years of marriage. After finding this article online, I'm curious as to whether others have had similar experiences. Have you or your spouse experienced a decline in attachment/romantic love after starting an SSRI? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2013 - 71 answers

How and where do I go about starting the divorce process?

I'm not yet sure I want to go that route, but I want to be informed and prepared just in case. Kids grew up expatriate, spouse recently moved them back without informing me or asking my permission, spouse has no job (supported by spouse's parent). I'm reading online that if there's a divorce and I act early, I'm more likely to get full (or at least fuller) custody. But where do I file? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Can father be legally required or encouraged to improve housing?

Asking for a friend. She is wondering if anything can be done to get her ex-husband to move into larger accommodations and stop sharing a bed with her protesting children. [more inside]
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats on Nov 24, 2013 - 38 answers

Considering divorce... or depression

Married almost 3 years, together for over 4 years. My husband is a funny, arrogant genius, and when I first met him he was very kind to me. Right after we got married, things changed... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 24, 2013 - 52 answers

Buy her out or sell it?

My wife and I are getting divorced, and I'm trying to figure out what to do with the marital home. We have a lot of equity in the place, but also have a not-insignificant amount of joint debt. Equity is probably between $130-$150k. Around $60k other debt (two cars, small credit card, student loans). Help me consider the pros/cons of buying her out of the house (through a cash-out refi) and selling the place. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 11, 2013 - 15 answers

What kind of divorce support is available in Massachusetts

Asking for a friend. She has decided to divorce her husband after 21 years of marriage. Her lawyer has said that, although he makes six figures annually, because he is retirement age and has many debts, she is not entitled to very much. Apparently she can't get any alimony nor money from the retirement account, and she doesn't have rights to the house. They are in Massachusetts. [more inside]
posted by stinker on Nov 10, 2013 - 7 answers

Yes, they both need lawyers, but

This is for a friend: Bankruptcy first or Divorce first? [more inside]
posted by ctmf on Nov 9, 2013 - 12 answers

My future just doesn't fit anymore

When leaving is terrifying, but staying's unbearable: please help me figure out what to do. [more inside]
posted by morninganyway on Nov 1, 2013 - 42 answers

Objection on behalf of the kids

A legal question for the family law attorneys of AskMeFi [more inside]
posted by Dansaman on Oct 31, 2013 - 21 answers

Should I let my children visit their father?

My ex and I recently divorced after a 16-year marriage. The divorce was mostly amicable, and we had been planning on living in the same area after the dissolution of the marriage in order to be able to have shared custody of our two children, aged 6 and 7. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 15, 2013 - 31 answers

Resources to help parents to support children during a divorce

What are some good resources for helping a parent to support a young child, while that parent is getting divorced? [more inside]
posted by life moves pretty fast on Oct 8, 2013 - 2 answers

Pushing spouse to next stage in seperation. Please help.

My spouse won't move with me to the next step in our separation and I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2013 - 22 answers

Divorce in Michigan with minor children but without Friend of the Court

My wife and I are getting divorced. We have three minor children. We will be sharing custody and time with the children equally. Neither of us wants child support from the other, we have comparable incomes, and we do not want Friend of the Court involved. The divorce is uncontested and we are trying to use LawHelpInteractive.Org (it was linked by the Circuit Court) to fill out the paperwork. The paperwork it generates seems to include Friend of the Court by default and I can't figure out how to get Friend of the Court out of it. Can I file as is and file the opt out paperwork separately after the case is created?
posted by anonymous on Sep 23, 2013 - 5 answers

How do I thank my lawyer?

My (dramatic) divorce will be finalized in 3 weeks. How do I acknowledge how awesome my lawyer is? [more inside]
posted by spunweb on Sep 23, 2013 - 14 answers

Looking for a simple divorce solution in PDX area

Paperwork makes me droolingly stupid. I have taken a stab at doing the divorce paperwork myself, but it always ends up crumpled up on the floor. The parenting plan business (required by Multnomah county) was the easy part. I am looking for someone who will handle the paperwork and filing and just get it done with. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2013 - 3 answers

How to live with my wife before the divorce?

My wife wants to leave me. In late March I discovered an affair she was having. We went through several months of what can best be described as "limbo" while she tried to decide what she wanted to do (leave or stay). At the end of July she announced "when I'm able, I'm going to move out." Problem is - the economics of this are basically impossible. So we still live in the same house. How can I make this easier for me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 6, 2013 - 66 answers

Need advice: Is it time for a divorce, or do I ride this out?

Should I seriously be considering a divorce now, or give it more time? And if I do want to initiate a split--how do I do it, since this will totally blindside him? What else should I do to prepare if it comes to that? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2013 - 27 answers

How to prepare for a divorce that might or might not be coming

My husband is talking about getting a divorce. It is unclear to me whether he is serious or whether he is having a midlife crisis of some sort. Without knowing whether we will or won’t get divorced, what should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 3, 2013 - 35 answers

Referrals for Real Estate Lawyer or similar near Las Vegas?

A good friend owns an underwater house in a suburb of Las Vegas. Payments are current and house is in good shape. The friend reported that a similar home in the development recently sold for several thousand (something like $50-80k) less than his current mortgage. If I can provide referrals to knowledgeable local people so he can get good, sensible information on his options, that would be a huge help. [more inside]
posted by Kpele on Aug 29, 2013 - 0 answers

Should I Sign an Informal Child Custody Agreement?

My ex-spouse and I share custody of our son. He is now in kindergarten five days a week, necessitating some adjustments to his weekly schedule. We have come to a basic agreement, and my spouse wants me to sign this agreement. Even though we are principally on the same page, it feels a bit weird. Should I do it?
posted by toots on Aug 27, 2013 - 34 answers

Should I be the one who got away?

Two women, two very different paths in life. Is there a third option that I can't see? Excessive detail inside. [more inside]
posted by MyFrozenYear on Aug 18, 2013 - 33 answers

Should I send my ex-wife an article on "Sensory Processing Disorder"?

I am recently divorced as of August 7. I believe one of the contributing factors leading to divorce was my ex-wife's tactile defensiveness. [more inside]
posted by speedoavenger on Aug 17, 2013 - 24 answers

How much help should I accept from my husband who left me?

After being partners for 18 years, including 10 years of marriage, this week my husband left me because he "loves me but isn't in love with me". He is being very kind about it, which I deeply appreciate, but I don't know how much of his help it is healthy for me to accept? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2013 - 52 answers

Dating someone separated.

I found out that my boyfriend is technically not divorced. This (as you might imagine) has been a major source of stress for me - what it comes down to is that he and his ex are staying married for insurance reasons, but will file by the new year. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2013 - 70 answers

Finally moving on - BUT how do I prioritize what's next..

So finally, I decided to take the bold step and move on to a bigger and brighter future (Hopefully, anyway!). I decided to divorce, on the grounds that I deserve better. [more inside]
posted by Spice_and_Ice on Aug 4, 2013 - 12 answers

the (housing) logistics of separation

My husband and I have decided to separate. We have 2 daughters (12 and 2) and a house and live in a major city where rent is astronomical. How on earth does this work? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 4, 2013 - 13 answers

How did you commemorate the day your divorce was final? How did u feel?

My divorce will most likely be finalized next week on Tuesday August 6. What did you do to commemorate (or celebrate) the day you found out your divorce was final? I didn't want the divorce so I won't be celebrating, but I would like to do something special to commemorate the day. I have mostly reached a place of acceptance with the situation, but I definitely still have periods of grieving. I want happy or sad stories. Give me all you got! :-)
posted by speedoavenger on Aug 1, 2013 - 29 answers

Looking for help with divorce paperwork in LA.

I haven't seen my wife in almost two years. We decided to separate in late 2011 after 5 years of marriage. It was totally amicable, we got married too young, etc etc. For many reasons, neither of us pursued a legal divorce. Largely it was a matter of cost- She's a PhD student, I'm a Grad student, neither of us had the $325 filing fee. We fell out of touch and it kind of kicked around the back of my head. This year, taxes rolled around and we realized that we needed to pursue the legal divorce. And then we sat on it some more until I finally got one of those DIY Divorce Books. So, great, I got all the forms from the state, filled them out, scraped together the filing fee and then froze. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 30, 2013 - 6 answers

How to prepare for a possible divorce?

A family member has confided in us that divorce is a distinct possibility. She has asked for advice on how to prepare for such eventuality. And I'm turning to the green to help us answer that question. Though as is customary, there is a monkey wrench thrown into the mix. [more inside]
posted by 7life on Jul 25, 2013 - 11 answers

What, if any, contact should my children have with their absent mother?

My ex-wife suddenly vanished over 2 years ago to her native Asian country, leaving behind a son (then 1, now 3) and daughter (then 6, now 8). Contact was intermittent (sometimes once a week and sometimes every three months). I asked her to commit to a regularly scheduled call and she refused to do so. I also found the phone calls to be borderline abusive to my daughter (the daughter would ask, "Mommy when are you coming back," and the mother would reply, "When are you going to come see me?" which caused the daughter to feel responsible for her absence - or the Skype video chats where the daughter would have the camera on but the mother refused to do so). I have since cut off contact with the mother in order to protect my daughter, though wonder if it is the correct decision. [more inside]
posted by b_thinky on Jul 24, 2013 - 45 answers

There can only be one, frame that is..

So, two bad backs need a solution. Has anyone tried two twin long mattresses in a king platform bed frame? One of the details is that the mattresses will be of different heights from each other. Would it simply be better to have two separate twin bed frames and push them together? How have you solved the two bad backs, two mattress type problem? [more inside]
posted by jadepearl on Jul 18, 2013 - 5 answers

Books for kids about divorce

My friend is getting a divorce, and doesn't know how to talk to her two young daughters (3 and 4) about it. Are there any books that have helped others in a similar situation? [more inside]
posted by odayoday on Jul 13, 2013 - 7 answers

What to expect in an Australian Family Law Court?

What can my SIL expect when going to a custody hearing in a South Australian court? Not seeking legal advice as she has a really good lawyer so much as an idea of what will happen procedure wise. [more inside]
posted by wwax on Jul 7, 2013 - 5 answers

Friend just gave birth. Leaving her husband. What does she need to know?

Not the happiest circumstances to bring a new child into this world. After years of supporting her husband, financially and emotionally, she's reached her limit. He's dealing with some addiction issues, and has become increasingly hostile with the birth of this baby. Maybe they'll work this out one day, but right now she doesn't feel safe, has filled her car with personal belongings and is staying with family. She left him a lengthy note, but does not want to talk to him in the next few days. This has been a long time coming, and while I don't imagine it will be a surprise—his family has actually encouraged her to do this—he won't react well. What sort of legal precautions should she begin taking? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2013 - 19 answers

When do you know a marriage therapist isn't right for you?

What are reliable questions that a person in marriage therapy can ask to determine that they are probably not with the right marriage therapist and should try someone else? Put another way, how can a person in marriage therapy know that the match with the therapist is a bad fit, as opposed to the problem being with the patient himself/herself? [more inside]
posted by scunning on Jun 25, 2013 - 14 answers

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