Have you ever dropped a bomb on your life? Been disowned by your parents? Shunned by your extended family and community? Please tell me about it. [more inside]
I wrote this question about my Aunt. As it turned out, I just wrote back a very polite reply -- "thank you for your good wishes" ...I was polite. I felt good about this. Thank you for all the helpful answers. My Aunt wrote me again -- long story inside. Thank you for taking the time to read it. [more inside]
Background: When my father learned I was gay, he disowned me. Think radical old-world "you are dead to me." This was many years ago -- well over a decade. He was very serious and cut off all contact with me. Made it clear I was out of the will and all of that -- very dramatic. I did try to initiate contact a few times many years ago, but was rebuffed. This is not what my question is about though -- I am at peace with this. I know I am a worthwhile and lovable person and I have many people in my life who care about me/love me. I had therapy when all this happened and I really feel I dealt with the emotions then. I know I am lovable and valuable person. Also, my relatives on my late Mother's side -- who are also quite old-world -- surprised me with their acceptance... [more inside]
Should I bring up this family incident from the past that still upsets me? [more inside]
My father told me the other night that he considers himself a "failure" because of how I've turned out. This, among other things, makes me not want to go home for Christmas break and makes me wonder if our relationship should continue at all. Am I blowing this out of proportion? [more inside]
I've seen the concept casually bandied about on forums and blogs and media (somewhere), but I've always wondered: Just how easy and common is it for Japanese parents to disown a child? Under what circumstances? Or is it just some old-fashioned cultural myth that disownership for dishonor/disobedience/marrying the wrong person/etc. is "easy" in Japan? I know the law must differ from the United States, so I'm quite curious about the actual process and limitations.