Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with disorder

Name that Disorder

Leezie — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:19:42 -0800

Is there a technical term for the irrational paranoia that if something bad happens to someone at the exact same point in life as you are at that it is going to happen to you too at that same time? For example - and this is totally hypothetical - your friend who is your age suddenly has a stroke and dies. They had no risk factors (just like you wouldn't) and essentially it was a freak occurrence, one of those one in a very large number kind of deals.

You look at your friend and realize that there was nothing to differentiate you from him - neither drank, smoked, had underlying high blood pressure, etc. In other words, you can't point to their bad habit and assure yourself that they had a risk factor that you don't have. You then become paranoid that you too are going to keel over from a stroke at any moment.

What is this feeling called?

Please help me reply to my mom's email concerning Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)

Anonymous — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 16:50:35 -0800

My mom sent me an email today acknowledging for the very first time (that I am aware of) that she experiences symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder. I would like to write the best response that I can to her, with some links or information about possible next steps. I don't want to screw this up, please help me help her! I have spent my adult life aware of her serious emotional and cognitive problems. My younger years with my parents were awful – I was rebellious and angry and unable to accept the serious dysfunction in our family. For the last 10 years I have been in therapy intermittently (taking breaks due to geographical and financial difficulties), where I have successfully learned to be accepting yet necessarily distant from both of my parents. There is no question whatsoever between all of my therapists and me that my mother suffers from severe Aspergers symptoms (almost every single criteria in the DSM IV fits her), as well as some emotional difficulties. My dad has some emotional problems as well, but they don't seem to be as severe as my mother's. They have a happy marriage, but its been lived blissfully in denial. My brother and I have suffered immensely. I have recovered, my brother hasn't. We are not close.

Fortunately for me, I learned to be very independent from a young age. I also do not display any pragmatic or negatively-impacting symptoms of ASD. I do however experience intense passions and focus, am able to see patterns in things that others don't tend to pick up on, and show an aptitude for understanding complex systems like language, puzzles, mechanics, etc. Basically, I seem to have some of the socially desirable features of ASD, with none of the social impairments.

I say all this, because in an email exchange today with my mom about language and ASD (I study pragmatics and sent her a link to an NPR talk in reply to a question she asked), she responded with the following, "Do you think you may be Autistic? I am wondering about me and my sensitivity to sound and light. Mom."

I would love to reply to this email in the best, most encouraging way possible. Maybe include a link to a place near her to get a professional test to determine if she has ASD, and where to go from there. Maybe a support group number, or a reason why it might be beneficial to understand more about the possibility of a professional diagnosis.

I am trying not to get my hopes up about this opportunity to help her. My mother has lived a lifetime of pain and confusion, not understanding why she miscommunicates with those around her (she often unknowingly offends others to the point where they scream, yell, or otherwise distance themselves from her). My dad literally shelters her from the world, sacrificing the needs of others or dismissing them in order to keep my mom calm, all the while praising her for being quirky. He means well, and wants the best for her, but this approach has prevented her from being able to stand on her own, seek answers and grow.

I am not close with any members of my family, and have been independently successful and healthy for some time. Through the advice of my previous therapists, I have limited my contact with family members to brief phone conversations and emails. This has done wonders for my relationships with them, and I don't wish to disrupt the balance. However, I see this email as an opportunity to take some important growth steps to self-realization...for all of us. I want to do it right.

MeFites: Please provide me with some advice, links, or ways to approach this subject that might resonate best with her and help her. How would you handle this situation? What would you write back?

FYI, I am female, early 30's, not currently in therapy due to financial constraints, but definitely reconsidering going back now to get some help understanding and processing these new developments. I'll be happy to provide more info as necessary. Throwaway email address: helpmehelpmom@gmail.com

Trying to adopt with a psychiatric diagnosis

Pater Aletheias — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 18:08:07 -0800

Is it possible to adopt a child when a spouse has bipolar disorder? We have two biological children, a three year old girl and a five month old boy, and would like to adopt a third child--not because we couldn't get pregnant again, but because we feel that we could provide a good home to a child who needs one. In fact, that's been our plan since we were engaged--two biokids, anyone after that is adopted.

But in recent communications with international adoption agencies that our friends have used, we've been told that applying would be a waste of our time and money--there's no chance of being approved for adoption because my wife is diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Is that the final word? We can accept it if it is--many couple who want to adopt would be delighted just to have one of the two wonderful kids we are already parenting. But if there's some avenue for adoption, I'd like to pursue it.

Help me stay awake!

Anonymous — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 17:54:58 -0800

I'm starting college tomorrow, and I have a problem. If I have to sit through a long talk (class, lecture, church, doesn't matter what) I'll start falling asleep. It usually happens around ten minutes into it, regardless of how much sleep I've had the night before. I've tried going to bed earlier, sleeping longer, pinching myself and drinking water through classes. I don't drink caffeine in the morning, so I know it's not a crash. This tiredness only lasts as long as the class does; as soon as it's over, I regain full alertness and it's as if I was never tired at all. I had this problem my last two years in Highschool and did very poorly because of it. My notes would end up a scribbled mess because I would be desperately trying to stay awake the entire class (note: this isn't just limited to things I find boring.) It damaged my relationship with the teachers because they thought I was just staying up all night, when in reality I would sleep anywhere from 8-12 (I know sleeping too long is just as bad, but at the time I assumed it would help) hours and was trying everything in the book to fix things.

I took a year off, and I thought that it had fixed itself, but I went to a few orientation sessions and low and behold, the problem is still here.

I'd really, really like to know how to get over this so I don't end up failing and having a poor relationship with my professors because I can't stay awake.

I should add that it isn't just instant falling asleep; it's a constant struggle with halfway falling asleep while trying to take notes, feeling my eyes closing, looking sharply in one direction to try to jolt myself awake, trying to stay awake but thinking random thoughts/attempting to say/experiencing things that indicate I'm falling asleep and having a dream. (I don't say anything out loud.) It never feels like full-on sleep to me, but when the class is over and I look down at my notes and the teacher comments I can tell it's at least akin to it.

Hopefully I've been descriptive enough here.

Anonymous because I don't want anyone to know I've been falling asleep during the mock-classes, and it's a sensitive issue regardless.

How Can I Help My Troubled Cousin?

harnharn — Fri, 22 May 2009 20:11:46 -0800

How can I support my troubled cousin who suffers from attachment disorder? Fifteen years ago my evangelical aunt and uncle adopted a child with a traumatic history including physical and sexual abuse. They tried to raise her faithfully, sending her to Christian school, homeschooling her when problems arose, doing 'holding therapy,' and layering on the structure and limitations. When she graduated high school she soon ran away, finding work eventually as an exotic dancer. Hitting bottom, she returned home and her parents offered to enroll her in a faith-based rehab program, which she agreed to, then ran away from. Now she lives five hundred miles away, unemployed, and - having just been evicted - in a servile relationship with an older man, just one of a bunch of demeaning, unsupportive relationships.

She's unhappy; her parents are upset, but they can't agree on a solution.

My cousin and I have a casual, friendly relationship. I like her and want to see her do well, but I'm not prepared to ask her to move in with me. What I'd like to find is some kind of program or set of programs/support groups/case-workers that could substitute for the restrictive, dogmatic faith-based program she's understandably averse to. Cost is an issue; I guess one of the advantages of the religious-based programs is they're often free.

Any recs for resources, medical, governmental or politely religious? She's in North Carolina now, though I don't know if she has official residency.

How do I get my body to calm down?

Anonymous — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 12:12:55 -0800

How do I begin to deal with what appears to be generalized anxiety disorder? I am wondering about experiences with anxiety medication... Help me fix my whacked out body! In the last year, my stress has gone from just being stress to anxiety of varying magnitudes. I'm looking to deal with this, and I'm beginning to wonder if medication is the way I need to go. I need some advice from those who've taken medication for anxiety or know those who have.

This probably deserves a little back story. I'm youngish (roundabout college age), and my teenage years were spent in turmoil because of my family. It may be worth mentioning that one of my parents is severely mentally ill (read: craaazy). While logically I've dealt with a lot of what it meant to be a child amid that--and yes, been to therapy--I went from that stress, to the stress of college and living on my own, to the positive but nonetheless stressful event of meeting and marrying a wonderful guy.

I kind of feel like I haven't had emotional rest in a long time, if really ever. This has all added up to the point that I can't rest now that most things are going well and right. (And yes, I try to meditate, but to little to no avail.) It's very frustrating, indeed.

In the last six months to year, I have had issues with sleeping (going to sleep, but no problems once I'm asleep), having my mild skin disorder rev up a bit (it's stress-related), and have begun to exhibit physical signs of an anxiety disorder.

That's probably what is most annoying. My head is mostly clear and logical. I do not have many irrational thoughts, and those I do have I can usually talk myself though, like most people. It's just my body gets keyed up over everything now, it seems. I am in my final year, and on my way to classes, I begin to get jittery, for instance, and my stomach turns to knots. Sometimes in class, I feel myself shaking a little and sweatier than usual. On other occasions, I have been walking down the road, fine and dandy, and then suddenly I get all this muscle tension and this "heavy" emotional feeling. Out of nowhere. There is absolutely no reason for this. I am not mentally nervous about going to the classes, meeting people, etc. My body just behaves this way, as far as I can tell.

Clearly, though, it is anxiety, just because of the way it makes me feel; it's like stress 2.0. About the only time I'm not getting all keyed up is when I'm with friends or my partner. At least that's good! My body seems to go nuts when I'm out on my own, so maybe I've got strange emotional issues surrounding that, but I really don't know what they'd be. I'm pretty ballsy and confident, even despite my body's funniness, so the reactionary anxiety symptoms are really bizarre.

Given this, should I take medication (or possibly Kava?) to get me over the hump? I get the impression that my body just needs to be trained to relax a bit, to sit down and STFU, if you will, and then it'll be able to do that. I would go back to CBT, but I don't really know what I'd talk about week in, week out, and I don't have that money or time to blow, anyway.

I know you are not my doctor, but I ask here, because I feel doctors and psychiatrists are pretty shit at honestly and realistically expressing the side effects--both positive and negative--of taking certain meds. I'd also like to know which meds you or your loved ones have had good/bad experiences with, so I will have something to go in with if/when I do see my doctor. Also, see my GP or look for a psychiatrist? My insurance is crap, so I will pay either way probably.

A throw-away account: fixmeplzkthx@gmail.com.

Do I have anything to freak out about, except freaking out itself?

elektrotechnicus — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 13:49:56 -0800

Almost two weeks ago I suddenly started having strange feelings of lightheadedness, abnormal difficultly concentrating, a lack of coordination (feeling as though I might fall over or run in to things), and visual issues (difficulty focusing on distant objects, seemingly less aware of my periphery - though there are no noticable gaps in my visual field). I've had these, albeit with decreasing frequency and severity, since that time. I'm often very fearful during these episodes (which can last 4-5 hours at a time, the dizziness/lightheadedness sometimes all day), fearing permanent brain damage and having extreme feelings of derealization. I've come to the conclusion that at least some of these symptoms are due to panic attacks. Does that explain it all though? The things is, while I've had some academic reasons to be stressed out, that's nothing new for me, I've never been overly anxious about it. Right around the time things started getting bad I was actually having a pretty good week - so I can't help but shake the feeling at least some of the symptoms preceded the anxiety.

I've been to the university clinic twice since this started, and the first time a nurse practitioner did the standard host of neurological tests - reflexes, balancing with eyes closed, asking me to smile, checking for nystagmus - which I passed with flying colors. She thought it was likely some sort of labyrinthitis, which should clear up in a week or two. I'm not sure whether that matches my symptoms well - I haven't had any difficulty staying upright or gaging my movement, it seems to be more of an issue of coordination.

Are all these symptoms safely ascribed to anxiety, even if they seem to have started before I felt anxious, and recur without apparent shifts in affect? If not, what sort of tests should I ask to have done by a doctor - if only to assure myself that I don't have a more serious issue? Any advice on dealing with panic attacks?

The "brain fog" or lightheadness is something I remember feeling when I was younger, leading me to get checked out for anemia (none detected, it cleared up). The feeling is a diffuse vacuum or fuzziness in my forehead, at a point about equidistant between my temples and an inch behind where you'd see a hindu woman wear bindi. I realize there isn't any innervation there, but it's still unsettling.

I had been on Concerta for several months, but stopped taking it last Wednesday as a precaution, which seems to have made me a bit less anxious (I'd noticed some anxiety in the past when going on the medication after a period off).

Just to prempt the question, I haven't been high lately.

Help me help my wife

roxiesmom — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 18:19:50 -0800

How to help my wife deal with my eating disorder? I have had an eating disorder for about 10 years, I have been to a clinic twice to treat it. Both times I went into a clinic I was under 100 pounds. My father was really the only one who recognized I had a eating problem, and took the steps to help me. My mother and the rest of my family was the main reason I had a problem. I was constantly being told I was fat (and when I was really skinny) that I looked really good and I needed to keep that weight. After the second clinic visit I was able to get it through my head that nothing was wrong with my weight and everyone who said I was fat was wrong.

Now I'm 24 years old, and I've had a serious relapse. My mother passed away 8 months ago, after her death I went into a bad place and didn't come out for awhile. I felt I had no control over anything, and the only thing I could control was the food I ate, and if I would throw up or not.

I have realized that I need help and I am getting that help. But my question is how can I help my wife deal with it? I need like books or other reading material that could help her understand how she can be there for me. She can empathize with me but she doesn't know how to support me or be there for me.

Can anyone help me? Thanks in advance.

Help for young woman woodworker with Nonverbal Learning Disability (NLD, NVLD).

mumstheword — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 21:31:10 -0800

How can we assist our adult daughter who has Nonverbal Learning Disorder in finding/creating some sort of outboard executive function so she can pursue her interest in designing and building furniture? I know that few people are familiar with NLD/NVLD, but I'm looking for anyone who is, who may have insight as to how to help our adult daughter...age 25...(who designs and wishes to build small pieces of fine furniture,) to acquire some sort of outboard executive function so she can actually finish items--she already has located venues who are willing to take her work on a consignment basis . She worked with a mentor who says she has exceptional talent, a real "feel" and "eye" for wood. She has attention to detail but is unable to manage time to organize, and gauge where to put her time and effort in order to actually follow through and finish a product (her therapist says she doesn't live in a temporal world). She's designed a number of pieces, but has only actually finished one item, and built several partial pieces. She tells us that when she is in the process of building an item, she has no idea where to put her effort and how to know when a particular part of the piece requires more or less time and effort. As an example, she created 4 different sets of legs for a small table she was making, sanding several to unusable nubbins because she couldn't gauge when they were suitable finished. She never finished it although she worked on it for months. The piece she has finished was done under the eye of her mentor who directed her in moving from step to step, while she did all of the work.

We appreciate input from people who specifically understand this disorder, as the nature of executive function, and the specific issues involved w/ NLD (sometimes called NVLD). To give you an idea of what she is up against, the Neuropsychologist who diagnosed her and worked in therapy with her for over a year has concluded that while she is well above average intelligence, her neurological functional deficits make her incapable of living on her own or holding a job and he feels she needs to be on SSI; we are in the process of attempting to do this. But she is unwilling to give up the idea of being a productive person and of course we completely support her in this desire. We have put together a woodworking shop for/with her. She's creative and artistic and wants to design and build fine furniture and we would so like to figure out a way to help make this possible for her.

thanks so much for any thoughts you have or direction to resources specifically dealing with adults and/or executive function.

Finally I am so appreciative of input from anyone who has personal or professional knowledge of NLD. However if you do not, just guessing at things that might work will not be helpful as that's what we and she have been doing for a long time. We read and study and research. I am currently in touch with an author on the subject who also has an adult child with the disorder. NLD is a very complex and knotty neurological problem, a relatively new diagnosis. There is very little information available, less for adults with the disorder. There is more for parents of young children with NLD and for educators of children in school but very little for adults who are trying to find a productive place in society.

so...we're looking for any time management/organization/executive function assists, or direction toward other resources. Of course we/she have tried many things that don't work...we just can't give up on the idea that we can find a way for this talented, persevering, hardworking bright young woman to be creative and productive and contribute to her own financial well-being as well as express her talent and creativity in a tangible product.

Thanks so much!

Why am substituting one bird for another when I type?

grumblebee — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:47:08 -0800

I'm making a certain type of typo more and more frequently. Should I be worried? I know everyone does this to some extent, but I've greatly increased the amount of word substitutions I make when I type. I read my sentences back later, and I find I've written things like this:

To free or not to be. Hat is the question.

Most of my mistakes are of that sort: substituting rhyming words for the words I mean to type. When I proof my text, I'm always totally surprised to see the substitutions. I have no sense of making them when I'm typing.

Now, this is probably a wasted question, because I think I can answer it myself. Over the last few years, my typing speed has increased tenfold. I can now type almost as fast as I can think. And I've noticed the errors increasing as my typing has gotten faster.

But I also know that people make these sorts of substitutions when they've suffered some sort of brain disorder. (I'm embarrassed by how hypochondriacal this sounds.)

I don't have any other symptoms. I feel fine and healthy. My thinking is clear. My motor skills are the same as always. I'm just spooked by this sudden onset of typing gaffs. When I read my words back, I find at least one or two per paragraph.

I know you're not my doctor, but do you think this is even slightly worth worrying about?

Finger Cancer, most likely.

Ambrosia Voyeur — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:27:51 -0800

For the love of God, what is wrong with my finger? This patch sort of peeled, and seems dry, and is dark with distinct light spots. There is another patch on the web between my pointer and thumb. I haven't done anything unusual recently with it, um, I don't think.

My family is insane. Now what?

Phalene — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 07:58:27 -0800

Crazy Family Filter: Help me cope with my family's mental health issues? (long) I'm pretty sure we're some sort of film and lit cliché: An intelligent but dysfunctional cocktail of neurosises (neurosi?) and mental illness, with a few prodigy and geniuses, substance abuse, molestation and intergenerational issues with neglect and/or parental over involvement. Everyone says their family is crazy, but mine is crazy is a sense that is terrifying, not goofy and eccentric.

I'm not exactly sure when something went wrong in my family, because family legend is spotty a few generations back. Apparently my maternal great grandparents were a trifle over controlling and my great grandmother was said to be prone to depression. Her children, my great aunt and grandmother, were definitely not sane, my mother’s not sane, her sisters are not sane and my siblings are not sane.

My maternal grandmother suffers from substance abuse problems, primarily alcoholism, symptoms of Asperger syndrome, depression and what we think is borderline personality disorder. She refuses to bathe and tries to involve everyone in her sexuality, molesting me, my mother, my first aunt, and my brother, as well as going out of her way to generally expose herself to the world at large. She also does very stupid things like setting herself on fire to get attention, getting into relationships with abusive people, breaking into the apartment to insist someone cancel her credit card while hurling emotional abuse, etc…

My maternal grandfather was just creepy. He molested my mother and I believe he molested her sisters.

Both grandparents were Mensa members. Being intelligent is taken for granted in my family, and remains the most prized virtue of the clan. Less genius family members tend to have self esteem issues. My mother was the ‘dummy’ of the family, and she’s very, very bright.

One aunt was a prodigy, off to Harvard at 16, and settled into computer programming, and merely seems to battle with Aspergers/Depression/No longer being a prodigy now that’s she’s 50.

The other aunt is also Aspie and has been unable to hold employment for six or so years due to crippling anxiety. She has panic attacks, which I’ve gotten pretty good at soohing when she visits.

My mother gets severe migraines from over stimulation (ie a sunny day, getting hot enough to sweat, etc) and is aspie. She prefers to keep no social contact beyond her family, and I think that I may be her best friend, which is awkward when you’re also someone’s child. Sometimes she tells me about events from her past, and they’re fucked up to the point that I can’t cope. She won’t see a therapist yet as she’s ‘too busy’ and it’s embarrassing to call one from work.

My siblings are both either unable or unwilling to attend school. Their father, my stepfather, is prone to depression, which manifested as anger, before he went on Prozac, typically directed at me. At one point this anger led him to threaten me with a knife. I still haven’t forgiven him, and when my mother told me not to provoke him into these rages it put a huge rift in our relationship as well. My siblings are supposed to be home schooled, but are merely left at home all day, alone (they’re aged 14 and 16, so strictly speaking it’s legal) and while my sister gets minimal tutoring in the evenings, my brother is mostly unschooled. The brother is mostly good natured, but my sister reacts to perceived slights by trashing and breaking things around the house. It scares me, because when property of mine has turned up damaged I can’t tell if it was an accident or her being upset.

I'd really hoped that tracking down my father's side of the family would help give me some role models that's weren't batfuck insane, but my father is selfish Aspergers typified and is married to someone who suffers from severe depression. When I visited them for the first time they had a yelling argument over the top of my head about something stupid. I have two half sisters with them I’m sort of worried about.

Needless to say, I’m not sure I’m sane. I have an official psychiatric diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome and have been treated for depression. I’m also very anxious and suffer from obsessive passions. I’m terrified of birthing another version of my grandmother, though I want to have a kid some day. Mostly I’m expecting to get a wee little neurotic person like my siblings are, which is acceptable.

Speaking of which, I don’t know what to do about the siblings. They were pretty much left to themselves. My sister has no friends, the house is filthy and there’s no discipline at all. I was raised with mild discipline and much more attention, and I worry about them. They are fed, however, and loved. I dunno how they’ll cope as adults without highschool, in Canada.

I’m already in therapy, and I’m not sure it’s helping because I don't know what to do when people I love are all insane, not just some of them. I move away in 21 days, which will help, but I’m worried what people like my severely isolated mother will do without me too, so add major guilt.

Any help gladly taken.

Adult diagnosis of a learning disability and where to go from here

Anonymous — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:32:15 -0800

Adult diagnosis of a learning disability and where to go from here I have always sensed that something wasn't right with my brain. I'm really smart and have excellent verbal skills but always found myself to be a slow learner. This has been very frustrating for both me and for my supervisors. Consequently, I've been an “underachiever” in life and have developed bad anxiety.

Fast forward a few years... neuropsychological testing revealed a significant (but narrow) learning disability. It's not quite ADD but has some overlap, as I have a short attention span as well as difficulty with organization and information presented verbally. I also have an “inefficient” learning style, which was described as poor cognitive strategies for grouping information in order to learn more effectively. According to the testing, I often miss the “big picture.”

As an adult with already poor self esteem due to these problems, my question is, where to go from here? Although it's a relief to have an explanation for my difficulties and to find out that my IQ is indeed very high (despite my underachievement), since I’m no longer a student I don’t know how to find support services or learn what learning/organizational strategies would be helpful. It's also hard to know who to share this information with (e.g. employers, friends) and when.

I would like to learn how to best compensate my weaknesses because I find that they present a significant barrier to my career advancement and satisfaction, as well as my feelings about myself. (They also affect me socially since I do miss the big picture sometimes; this usually leaves me feeling a bit "out of sync” with others.)

I’d be really interested to hear from others who had a similar experience of dealing with a later-life diagnosis of LD and how you coped. I worry that I may never be able to achieve the career performance that I desire, and this makes me really upset because I am well educated and a very hard worker and have very high goals for myself.

Welcome to the new you!

parmanparman — Mon, 12 May 2008 16:51:36 -0800

Ten days ago I learned I have a celiac disorder. I have lost almost 15 pounds and my eating patterns have drastically changed. Help me fill the void... My doctor confirmed the week before last that I have a celiac disorder, and to cut out gluten, barley, and spelt.

The first week of this was spent mostly at work. Which consisted playing the game of "Can I Eat This...I Can't Eat This". By last Saturday, I had gone from the 221 pounds I weighed at the doctor's to 209.5 on the scale in my house.

My diet is now extremely restricted. But, I am very worried about replacing the carbohydrates that I can't eat with meat protein because I don't want to see a jump in cholesterol. I also feel like some of defenses have gone: on Sunday I ate out to celebrate a friend's birthday and had a very bad reaction to an omelet. It was bad enough that I had to call in sick. I am now down to 207 pounds and I feel very weak and my clothes are not fitting very well.

I already cannot eat a lot of spicy food and I feel like I am doomed to a bland diet. I can't eat tomatoes, eggplant, cheese, beer, whiskey, chocolate, many things.

However, my acid reflux has totally gone away, so this is working and I am going to stick to it.

Any advice or help dealing with this Big New Reality would be helpful. Also, salad dressing recipes...

Chess and ADD

2or3whiskeysodas — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 15:35:57 -0800

I'm kind of interested in learning to play chess. I have ADD. How's that gonna go? I usually can't, say, read a single page of a magazine article without my mind wandering and losing my place, without me noticing it's happening. But I've always found chess intriguing and would like to give it a shot.

I'm wondering if the sort of concentration required to play chess at all well is beyond the ability of someone with untreated ADD (occasional capacity to hyperfocus aside). That said, I'm also wondering if chess is the sort of activity that would help me increase my ability to concentrate, or if I'd just find it impossibly frustrating. I'd be willing to flex my brain like that if it wouldn't just piss me entirely off.

Of course, it would be great to hear from ADD-ers who've given chess a shot.

Reactive Attachment Disorder in Adults - What can be done to help?

watercarrier — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 08:42:32 -0800

Attachment Disorder in Adults - Are there any resources out there? A woman I am corresponding with suffers from RAD and is now in a state of emotional breakdown, suffering from anxiety, depression and agrophobia among other symptoms. I'd like to help her get all the possible help she can, including important books to read, support groups online, available therapies that would work, blogs and anything else that could be pertinent to this condition including stories of recovery - if there are any. Any help in finding her these resources are greatly appreciated! Thanks.

Coping with ADD?

fogster — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 19:31:34 -0800

I have ADD. What are some specific steps that can help me focus on getting a task done? I was diagnosed as having a 'borderline' case of ADD: I showed some symptoms, but not enough that they thought it was worthwhile to treat at the time. Consequentially, I am not prescribed anything to help, nor am I seeing anyone to help.

I function well most of the time. But periodically, no matter how hard I try, I just can't concentrate.

So how do I cope with situations where I can't put the task off for another time, but I can't get myself to focus? Surely there are some tips out there.

So SAD. Illuminate me.

desuetude — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 14:42:27 -0800

I've been aware of a tendency toward winter blues for many years, but this winter is really kicking my ass already. I think I'm ready to look into a little treatment, and I'd like some advice. Yep, I've read all of the previous AskMes on this. Has anyone found getting a "real" diagnosis of SAD from their doctor to be particularly helpful? (Or particularly unhelpful?) I get that the tendency is to say that of course one should see a doctor if one thinks one has a medical condition, but I am not suffering from severe depression, I'm not looking for an SSRI prescription, or even a therapist. Really, I'm quite certain that this is just Not Enough Light = Cranky and Exhausted.

I'm pretty sure that some light therapy will do the trick. I do wonder if insurance might partially cover the cost of a light-box? Anyone have any experience with this? It was mentioned in previous threads w/out follow-up.

Getting outside for more light and fresh air would be great...except that the resultant pain from my Raynaud's makes that prospect a bit...depressing.

Sorry to say that I can't go someplace warm for a few weeks, though man oh man, I wish I could.

Anything else to consider adding to my treatment regimen?

eating disorder?

cilantro — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:21:39 -0800

I think I have an eating disorder, and I am not sure what to do next... Basically, I am obsessed with food. I've always enjoyed cooking, reading and learning about food, and eating of course, but now I think that a former drinking problem has kind of transferred itself into an obsession with food and chronic overeating.

I was never a full blown alcoholic, but I kind of lived for the next social occasion where I could drink and I never really knew when to stop. Increasingly vicious hangovers (and graduating from university) curbed the drinking, but now I am teetering on the edge of clinical obesity and I think I need help. I am constantly thinking about my next meal, whether I am hungry or not, and I anxiously worry that the meal won't live up to my expectations. When I do eat, I always empty my plate no matter how large the portion, and if I am at home I will often snack immediately after a meal.My husband actually commented on it the other day for the first time and I was so embarrassed I started crying. The other day I was out with workmates and everyone was drinking and having fun and no one seemed particularly interested in organizing the three-block walk to the restaurant where we had reservations, and as the time of the reservation got closer I was so irritated and nervous that I just went home (picking up a large takeaway on the way, of course).

I know that a lot of this is based on my loneliness and alienation - I emigrated to the UK from the US last year to be with my husband, and I still feel lonely and out-of-place. I have never been to any kind of therapy, and I can't find much info about whatever eating disorder I might have (bingeing without purging, and general anxiety about food in general). I'll be seeking therapy through the NHS, so any advice about that will be appreciated as well.

Am I a good witch or a bad witch? A question about personality types

grumblebee — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 14:33:08 -0800

Psychology: is there a term for someone who can't define himself -- who has a hard time saying "I'm an X person" or "I'm a Y person"? Example: I was a lazy, unreliable kid -- the kind who always forgot to do his chores. I'm a super-responsible adult. Yet that kid is very much alive inside me.

Am I lazy or responsible?

I sometimes think of myself as a responsible person who works to resist a lazy impulse.

At other times, I think of myself as a lazy person who forces himself to be responsible.

I realize that this is just a matter of how you look at things, but my point is that many people -- even people with my mixture of laziness and responsibility -- seem to have an easier time thinking of themselves one way or the other than I do.

I also understand that thoughts are one thing and behavior is something else. And I DO behave like a responsible person. I think many people get into a feedback loop where behaving in a certain way makes them think of themselves in a certain way. "I am responsible because I behave in a responsible way." For me, it feels more like, "I behave in a responsible way, but I'm constantly aware of this huge irresponsible force inside me." (I'm not worried that this force will make me irresponsible. I have a pretty easy time doing what's right.)

This is not a question about laziness and responsibility. That was just an example. I feel the same way about many aspects of my personality. Am I an optimist or a pessimist? Am I an honest person or a liar? etc.

Most people I know think of themselves as honest, even though they're aware that they lie occasionally. But an occasional lie makes it impossible for me to think of myself as an honest person. Things aren't all bad, though, because my general honesty makes it impossible for me to think of myself as a liar. If you ask me what I am, I'll probably go by my behavior and call myself honest, but I'll have an overwhelming feeling that I'm simplifying myself for conversation.

I'm not at all worried about my behavior (I behave, in general, as a good, honest, loving person, and I doubt that will change), and I don't think that one necessarily NEEDS to classify oneself.

I'm just curious as to why so many other people seem to be able to classify themselves so easily -- and why I can't. (Or is everyone just simplifying themselves to make conversation easier?) Is this a recognized syndrome? The closest thing I can find to it is Borderline Personality Disorder. But -- thank God -- I don't think I have that. I don't fit the profile in other ways.

Best treatments for anxiety?

mintchip — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 21:28:34 -0800

Best treatments for anxiety? I have really bad anxiety. I really need to get a handle on this because it creates a lot of problems in my life. What are the best treatments for chronic, intense anxiety? I will consider pharmaceuticals, herbs, supplements, and anything else.

I have tried a number of antidepressants in the past. None of them did a thing except Celexa, which made my anxiety DISAPPEAR!! However, I had extreme side effects that forced me to go off the medication. This experience made me believe that my anxiety is chemically based. I have tried intense exercise; it helps a bit, but not enough.

The more anxious I get, the more I turn to others for reassurance. I fear that I am frustrating those around me with my constant worries, and this makes me angry at myself. However, I can't seem to control it. Mefites, what has worked for you?

What happened during my nap?

punkfloyd — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 13:04:49 -0800

Am I losing it? I rarely nap, but on a recent afternoon I nodded off on the couch only to (gently) wake up about an hour later completely disoriented. It was like the whole time/space continuum had collapsed. For about 60 seconds I was in a near panic state not being able to get my bearings. Who am I? How did I get here? What time is it? Where is everybody? Then it sorta passed. I am a reasonably healthy 37 year old guy and get 8 hrs of sleep nightly.

Anybody ever experience this? Did I wake up in the middle of REM sleep? WTF?

Do i have an oral fixation?

Anonymous — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 08:43:44 -0800

Do i have an oral fixation? I have had an eating disorder in the past. Now, i am ok, a normal weight and eating healthy. But all my thoughts are focused on food, obsessively. I look forward to eating, and when I am not eating, I need to be chewing gum. I chew gum all day, and worry even though its sugarless, how it is affecting my teeth. Is this just another form of the eating disorders i had before? I have anxiety and depression too, but don't know if the eating and gum issues are causing it, or stemming from it? I have been in therapy, and am currently on an SSRI for depression/anxiety. Please help! I hate for food to be the focus of all my thoughts.

I can't decide if I want to move to another city.

Anonymous — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 21:38:37 -0800

I have an eating disorder and I can't decide if I want to move to another city. Having an eating disorder, and deciding whether or not I should move, seem like unrelated variables - but let me explain.

I am a queer female in my early twenties. Everything describing me seems good on paper – I have a contract job I enjoy; a scholarship to a competitive grad school program in another city; a lot of good acquaintances, and a new girlfriend of 6 months I really love.

I also have had bulimia, in various severities for the last 8 months in various severities – anywhere from throwing up every day for a week, to a few times a week, to a few times a day, etc. The most I have gone in this time without throwing up has been 3 weeks. The good news is the feeling and urge to be bulimic and throw up is genuinely tapering off.

In the year leading up to my bulimia, I developed a binge eating problem, which still persists, and which I consider to be the most painful, depressing and emotionally taxing aspect of my disordered eating. This problem still persists and confounds me more than my bulimia. An eating disorder is hell. I’m sick of feeling unhealthy and hating myself, and I’m freaked out that the rest of my life will be marked by it. I know there is more to life than having an eating disorder, but a lot of the time I feel I am just going through the motions, and I honestly am having a hard time. I have also had clinical depression which weaves its way back in and out of my life.

Last December or January I began an inpatient program for people with eating disorders. Blood and heart testing revealed my physical health had not yet been damaged. As someone who formally enjoyed a lot of different sports and had no serious physical or mental health problems to speak of, it was a bit of a change to suddenly be a person seeking help - it's like I can see myself dying. I saw a counselor on and off, but stopped because I was working full time on a large project at my job.

I live with wonderful people, but my house spooks me because I associate many of the rooms, especially the bathroom where I would throw up, with being bulimic. In fact, the whole city of Vancouver seems laced with my bad attitude, poor self-esteem and failed attempts at living heathfully – a concept which feels genuinely out of my grasp.

My girlfriend is great, and dating someone I care about has definitely helped improve my mood. I feel happy when I’m with her and often forget these struggles. She knows about the depression, and has in fact had issues with mental health herself, but I have never told her straight out I have an eating disorder of one type or the other. Other than telling two of my friends and a counsellor, I find it incredibly difficult to talk about these problems and my self-imposed silence is utterly deafening.

Now, faced with the opportunity to move to another city, I don’t know what to do. Trying out grad school can’t set me too far back. But starting up all over again will mean stress, losing contact with my friends and probably losing my girlfriend – although it’s not like I’ve ever been genuinely honest about my mental health with her. I am also considering traveling on my own. And then there’s the eating disorder and whatever it is that is causing it, and how that will or will not be affected by moving. As a project at work is winding down, I now have some more time to work on my personal problems. Please help me figure out how I can be proactive about getting my life back on track. Thanks in advance.

How long does a psychiatrist need to diagnose a disorder?

giggleknickers — Thu, 31 May 2007 16:43:36 -0800

Can a psychiatrist diagnose a disorder in five minutes? I've been depressed and anxious all my life, or so I thought. I'm in my twenties, and I finally went to a doctor about it. He spent about five minutes with me, then diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. He told me I'm not depressed because I don't have a low appetite and because I sleep too much instead of too little. I certainly feel depressed, but he said that without those physical symptoms, I'm not.

Is it normal to get a diagnosis this quickly or is something off? A second opinion can get expensive, so I'm trying to work out if it's necessary.