Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with disability

Help him adaptto finger amputation

shylady — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 10:41:12 -0800

My wonderful great uncle had to have his right index finger amputated at the middle knuckle a year or so ago. He is 92 years old, lives alone, and has coped with loneliness (since the loss of his beloved wife 8 years ago) by keeping himself busy with construction related hobbies and cooking. I found out that he is really suffering from the loss of his normal pincer grasp. He specifically mentioned trouble using a hammer and nails. What can I do to make his life/hobbies easier, other than suggest a thumb and middle finger pincer grasp? Are there any products or tools you can recommend?

Getting My Gimpy Groove On

Anonymous — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 18:03:26 -0800

How can a gimp who's got a lot going for himself get a date and maybe even get a little somethin' somethin' after a loooong dry spell? More details with minimum self-pity inside. First, some background: I'm in my mid-thirties and I have a congenital disability that is pretty severe. Severe as in strangers probably look at me and think, "God, I'd rather be dead." I use a wheelchair and have very little movement in my extremities and I breathe with the assistance of a ventilator. I require 24-hour assistance to help me get through life. Despite all this, I've managed to build a pretty decent life for myself. I went to college and grad school and now make a good living at a job I love. I own my own place and have plenty of good friends. I've traveled and, in general, have lived a life that has turned out better than I thought it would.

As you might guess, I'm pretty inexperienced with dating and relationships. My high school and young adult years saw me make clumsy attempts to ask women out, but I was so full of insecurities and self-doubt that I met with no success. I grew more comfortable with myself as I got older and finally met someone online in my late twenties. We dated for a couple months but it didn't work out. Since then, I've had a couple dates but nothing beyond that.

I think I'm doing all the things that a guy my age is supposed to do to try to meet women. OKCupid ad? Check. Book club? Check. Volunteering? Check. I don't do bars or clubs simply because they're crowded, noisy places that make communication difficult. But for whatever reason, I don't meet many single women and fewer still who seem like possible dates. I keep asking myself if I should be doing something more, but I have no idea what that might be.

I don't have any illusions about my own attractiveness and I realize that a relationship with me comes with a lot of challenges. Still, I think I'm pretty cool guy with smarts and more than a little charm. It just takes time for other people to see that.

My question for my fellow MeFites: should I just keep doing what I'm doing and hope for the best or try something that hasn't occurred to me? I have to admit that I'm getting a little frustrated with the loneliness and celibacy, but I also don't want to turn into some bitter old bachelor. If my future is going to be one of bachelorhood, how do I make myself okay with that? I've even flirted with the idea of hiring a, er, professional to get a little temporary relief, but that seems like it could result in all sorts of not-so-good outcomes.

Thanks for any advice you can offer.

How do I get SSI/disability for mental health?

loquacious — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:32:34 -0800

How do I navigate Social Security to qualify for Medicaid, SSI and disability for mental health services? How do I find an advocate to guide me through the walls of paperwork and decisions? Sub-question: what are current mental health institutions like for in-patient treatment? I qualify for an array of symptoms for mental health disability - namely marked social dysfunction, severe anxiety, depression (most likely rapid cycling bipolar), persistent ideations and the inability to function normally and keep a job, set or keep goals or otherwise function at life. I have trouble maintaining all kinds of relationships. I also have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and tobacco as self-medication.

In case it needs to be said - I also qualify financially. I have no job, no money, no property and as much as I hate to admit it I'm basically indignant and losing my housing.

I'm having a hell of a time finding services, doing my homework and wrestling with the bureaucracy while in the midst of these symptoms. How do I find an advocate, case worker or guide? This process is daunting enough without struggling with the symptoms at the same time, and dealing with the bureaucracy is aggravating the symptoms and often sending me spiking off into severe manic or depressive territories.

Also what can I expect these days if I sign myself in for in-patient treatment at a mental health facility in Los Angeles? I'm considering this as an option to get the process kick-started, as I'm more or less on the edge of crisis territory. What's the process like? What can I bring with me? What can't I bring? How much control can I expect to have over the process?

(Paging The Straigtener)

Do they have to notify boyfriend?

LaurieC — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:03:27 -0800

Does social security have to notify BF if his check is being withheld? My boyfriend was in jail for 2 weeks, and he's worried that he will not receive his check today. Usually it's in the bank by now and he still has not received it. He had a misdemeanor, he plead guilty and he is currently sentenced to probation. Do they have to notify him if they withhold his check?

Thanks

Does bf qualify for military benefits?

lwclec072 — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:44:54 -0800

Does my boyfriend qualify for veterans benefits? My boyfriend was discharged from the army after 1 year 11 months and 10 days due to not being able to adapt to military life he received a general discharge under honorable circumstances. He didn't complete his contract and he was never in a combat zone. We are just trying to find out if he is eligible for medical and disability benefits due to mental illness he developed during/after the military?

Also he's already legally disabled and receives social security benefits, but it's barely enough to live on.

Working/Going to School with Fibro: What works?

eleanna — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:26:17 -0800

I have fibromyalgia. Help me figure out how to be a better student/employee. What accommodations/techniques work for you? I have doctors, so more looking for 'this worked for me/my mom/my friend' than anything medical. I have fibromyalgia, generally speaking fairly well managed (I have had it for over 10 years and know a lot about what works and what doesn't medically). I have 2 doctors (rheumatologist/internist) who I see regularly and work with, so I feel like I have a handle on the medical side and like, if I could come up with more to do or that would help, they would work with me on it.

I am working on my 2nd graduate degree and I also have work experience and hope to be reentering the workforce soon. However, while I produce excellent work (good performance reviews/straight As in my courses), I also notice that the fibromyalgia can unexpectedly impair performance due to fatigue/pain if I overextend myself (say..during midterms/surprise long project at work). I've realized that I really have no idea what accommodations, if any, to ask for (and I feel a bit ridiculous asking for any, because I should just be able to handle it), or what I could be doing in addition to the general eat healthy, exercise, get as much sleep as possible, work with doctors, to make this easier. Or what the school/my future workplace could do that would help or I could do to mitigate the effect. As an example, my last boss loved my work, but despite me being more productive than most, the amount of sick leave I needed annoyed her.

Bleh. tl;dr.

In summary: What can I do (or other people help me to do) beyond the obvious to maximize my non-fatigue/pain time?

Note: I have talked to my doctor(s) about this...main response (beyond exercise, etc. which I already do) was 'talk to other people who have the disorder/figure out what you need and we'll help'. Hence, the question.

Does anyone have experience with someone who is 21 applying for permanent disability benefits?

Anonymous — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 07:35:58 -0800

Does anyone have experience with someone who is 21 applying for permanent disability benefits? I don't think I can work any more due to my various mental illnesses but I'm nervous about applying for SSI.

I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder with anxiety since I was about fourteen years old. Medications and therapy have helped and are helping but even so the severity continues to ramp up as I get older. I haven't worked since last summer. The idea of applying, and interviewing for jobs seems overwhelming in itself. I can apply for jobs some times if I take anti-anxiety medication, but then what if I do get a job? Some days I will have panic attacks simply because I have to go in to work. I would like to be living on my own but I can't imagine I would be able to keep a steady job if I randomly can't come in. Or if the stress of having a job gets to be too much and I hole myself up for a couple of weeks just so I feel like I can breathe again. I've been trying to go to school at a community college for about two years but my transcripts are a mess of Fs and Ws because invariably at some point things get to be too much for me and I either drop out or simply stop going to class.

Are these things enough to qualify? Does anyone here have any experience or tips that might help me as I go through the process of applying and possibly getting denied?

How to keep health insurnace for a struggling college student

Anonymous — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 08:55:47 -0800

We struggling to keep our over-18 child covered under our health insurance. She has a four year history of mental health struggles. She has been able to more or less stay in school as a full-time student but we aren't sure she can keep it up. The two strategies seemed to be to get the school to give her full-time status with a partial load due to disability or to convince the insurance company that she is not capable of "self-sustaining employment" Anyone have any experience with either route? Four years ago, our child got hit with major depression. There were two hospitalizations, intensive counseling and medication. Things are better than they were and she choose to go off to college with a sheaf of prescriptions, a new therapist lined up and an IEP to help reduce stress and accomodate ups and downs.

She struggled through fall semester with the minimum full-time load at a four year college. With several incompletes, she finally ended up with a D average. At the recommendation of the school she took off spring semester but took a full-time load in the summer. She did better (a C average). She has also had non-stop physical complaints (some physical, some psychosomatic). She decided to return home and go to community college. Three months of FT school in the summer plus four months in the fall should maintain her status as a FT student for the year. (per my reading of IRS regulations). However, school started on Monday and she is falling apart. At this point, I don't think she can handle a full-time load - I'm hoping for half-time.

So our insurance covers children after 18 if they are either full-time students or if the company determines that they are disabled based on (a) are a dependent for federal taxes purposes and (b)"incapable of self-sustaining employment" (This child's last job was as a summer camp CIT before her problems began.)

I've heard some people work with the school so that the IEP includes a condition that a lighter load counts as "full time" and that the insurance companies will accept that. Does it work? I'm afraid to ask anything to insurance company for fear they will cut her off.

With my older child, the insurance company just asked if she was a student but never required verification. However, since this child has huge medical bills, I don't want to take any chances.

How likely is an insurance company to accept her as transitioning from full-time student to disabled when the disability began four years ago? Since this is based on a mental illness and she has been sort of holding it together, has anyone had experience with this scenario?

By the way, our insurance is a fairly good plan administered by United Healthcare. The local school does not offer any student health insurance and given her claim history (doctor visits almost every week or more, not counting psych care), no company would write her an individual policy unless they had to do so.

You can contact me directly at need_advice1@yahoo.com

How to manage my debt and life as a whole

thegreatcokeolympics — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 12:34:41 -0800

How do I get my life on track with high debt and a chronic medical condition? So i'm 26 years old and have been completely on my own since i was 18. I come from a working class family who lives in a small dying town with no jobs. I knew if I was going to make something of my life in any way, I had to get out of there. Being so young and inexperienced, it's not like I could get a well paying job to support myself. And it's not like my family had any money to give me.
So 5 years ago, I took out many many loans and used that money to move myself across the country to " the big (and expensive) city" to attend college and hopefully start a new life there.

I also used the student loan money to pay for everything I would need to live on (mainly rent because the dorms were more expensive than studio apts, food, and school supplies) and even then it still wasn't enough, so I also worked full time in addition to going to school full time, just to make ends meet.

On top of this, to make matters more complicated, I also have a chronic medical condition. I have had it mildly since I was 10, but never had it addressed, or even diagnosed as to what it was, since my family lacked health insurance.

It was still fairly mild even when I moved here, but through the years got much more serious and I am now in constant daily pain and have some serious breathing issues. I tried to get health insurance on my own, but no plan would cover me due to the pre-existing condition. So I had no choice but to pay out of pocket for all medical expenses. Of course I had no out of pocket money to spare, so I used credit cards to pay all my medical bills.

And I never had enough credit to pay for anything medical that would truly diagnose me, so I resorted to many expensive pain management treatments only to be left with my condition progressively getting worse.

Now flash to present day, 5 years later, and I am $60,000 in debt from school, $10,000 from credit card debt. The job market is scarce and no one is hiring on staff. I've been taking very low pay freelance gigs which don't even amount to half of my expenses.

Currently, my bare minimum expenses amount to $1150 per month.

One of them being a health plan I pay 400 a month for after puting myself on a long waiting list for a government health plan that teams with private insurers to give coverage to high risk people. With this plan I was also able to finally get the tests I needed to diagnose me, only to discover (upon confirmation of 6 different doctor opinions to be sure) that I need a surgery that will cost a minimum of $30,000 depending on where I get it done, while knowing full well my insurance plan will most likely not cover because it is not a common surgery, though results are typically favorable.

I also pay 400 a month to see a physical therapist who I have been seeing for a year and a half and is the only source of pain relief I have found to help me (Insurance only covers 25% of 12 sessions a year, which I have already maxed out) Then pay 300 a month for my credit cards and 50 for my cell phone. And every 3 months, pay 150 forbearance fee for my student loans. That is it.

I had to leave my apartment and move in with a friend who is letting me stay there rent free until I figure something out. They are also fortunate enough to make a decent living and have been loaning me money to help pay my bills, eat their food, and use their computer. If anything, they've almost become my surrogate parent and it makes me feel like shit for puting them in that position, but I simply don't know what else to do.

I would get a second job anywhere I could find, but not only have those jobs even been hard to come by, but my health simply won't allow it at this point. I am extremely distressed, depressed, and hopeless. The biggest issues of all is the health and everything else seems to stem from it to make all the other problems worse. I don't know how much more bare minimum I can get in terms of cutting my budget when I'm already miserable and in so much pain.

I have considered going on disability, but I don't know if I would count since I still have been able to work, so long as the work isn't strenuous and I don't have to be on my feet all day.

I've considered welfare and bankruptcy but I'm not too sure how they work or if I would have to give up making enough money to pay for everything I need just to qualify. Or if bankruptcy will just ruin my credit enough to never be able to rent again.

I want to be responsible and make the best choice that will benefit me in the long run, but I don't know what that is or where to go. I really need some advice or clarity on this, so anything anyone has to say, please I'd love to hear it. Thank you.

What to do about my excruciating work situation?

Anonymous — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 20:52:59 -0800

What are the best strategies for my current work situation? Question relates to disability, unemployment, and illegal activities (not mine). Apologies for any lack of detail, but, you know, anonymity.

I've been at my current job for about a year and a half, where I'm a good performer. Since requesting reasonable accommodation under the Americans with Disabilities act (I work in Illinois), my manager and the HR department have started building a tardiness-related firing case (no other employees in the department even have their arrival times tracked), I've had my shift switched back and forth (in addition to some other petty stuff that's jerky but not, apparently, illegal), brought to meetings with HR where I'm yelled at and not allowed to talk, and other Office Space-ish nonsense. One lawyer (although not my lawyer) told me it was clearly retaliation.

Further: the company is misleading in the descriptions of some of its products (although I'm not sure if it crosses the line into actionable fraud as IANAL), they haven't hung the required labor-law posters, and they (as in, the company, not individual users) install pirated software on computers (I've brought this up to multiple managers with no result, and have screencaps of cracker signatures from multiple installs).

Possibly more important: the stress just from going in every day is becoming unbearable. I feel like I'm going to "lose it." My health's been affected. I'm sick of the frustration and I'm sick of taking their shit, and I've run the situation (in much more detail, obviously) by some of my more level-headed friends, and they agree that I'm being treated quite poorly.

So: should I wait until they fire me (as they've told me they will the next time I'm at all late - it's a "right to work" state so that's their right, I guess, ADA issues aside), quit and try to collect unemployment insurance until another full-time job comes up (Illinois seems to allow this if the company was participating in illegal activity), or stick it out, hope their assholism toward me crosses the line into blatant illegality (after reading a recent Metafilter post on workplace bullying, I realized my manager met about 2/3 of the criteria, but, again, being a jerk isn't illegal), and depend on the legal system to provide redress?

You've got to be carefully taught

pseudostrabismus — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 15:55:36 -0800

A friend is teaching a "Multicultural Education and Identity" class in a high-school setting, and asked me for advice, so I'm asking you, hive. I would like a broad spectrum of anti-discrimination educational resources and materials, for ages 12-adult. Interested particularly in racism, classism, able-ism, and privilege. My friend wants to spice up lectures with visuals, videos, articles, and other supplementary materials. He's looking for a variety of stuff, including, but not limited to, the following:

Some sample topics:
- respectful discussions of privilege
- helpful ideas for privileged people to navigate the world fairly
- ideas for PoC and whites to address racism in real life
- internalized racism, beauty standards, etc.
- reverse racism and whether or not it exists
- racist tropes in pop culture, media bias, etc.
- clear & engaging definitions of key terms and supporting statistics

Ideal Materials could include anything, really: blog posts, articles, essays, YouTube videos, songs, short films, art, visuals, quizzes, interactive activities, stand-up comedy, whatever.

Tone:

- Would really prefer to avoid snark and condescension. Sites like Derailing for Dummies, for instance, have fantastic information, and are fun for PoC to read, but tend to alienate the very people they intend to educate. I absolutely understand how frustrating these issues can be (first hand... believe me) but ideally we'd want these materials to be inclusive, not accusatory.

- On the other hand, we would love stuff like The Deal With Disability, which was recently featured on the blue. Eva's a tiny bit snarky, yes, but her humour and her very unusual vantage point more than make up for it. So I guess SOME snark is okay, if it's thought-provoking rather than abrasive.

Other resources I think would be great, to give more examples:
Chris Rock's "Good Hair"
Kiri Davis' "A Girl Like Me"
"A Class Divided"
Peggy MacIntosh's "Invisible Knapsack"
the Harvard Implicit Association quizzes
Heidi the Sugarmonster's article about why she chose to have weight-loss surgery
Even small doses of pop culture phenoms like Borat and Russell Peters, who sometimes cross the line but could still provide good seeds for discussion.

... More, like those would be really helpful. Thanks in advance!

Social Security Disability Advice

klpage — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 11:16:53 -0800

Is there anyone in the New York Ciity area I could speak to about applying for social security disability - not necessarily a lawyer, but someone who is famliar with the process, knows what makes the best case, what is useful, what is irrelevant, etc.

Wheelchair-friendly dentists in DC area

LobsterMitten — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 18:05:21 -0800

Wheelchair-friendly dentist in the Washington DC area (Montgomery County MD if possible)? A dear friend of mine is in his 70s and uses a power wheelchair. He has some arm strength, but he has no leg muscles and has a big belly, so he's easily thrown off balance when transferring from the wheelchair to the dentist chair. Recently he had a really bad fall when the dental assistant tried misguidedly to "help" him transfer -- she basically shoved him off balance and he fell full force. No apology from her or the dentist, who he's been seeing for 35 years.

He's looking for a different dentist's office where they may be more aware of wheelchair issues. I don't know if there are special arrangements where he could stay in his chair? Or just any office where they are more with-it about this.

can't afford not to work

Anonymous — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 22:06:17 -0800

What are my options for an six week absence from work for surgery with my employer? Is Aflac what I'm looking for? De to the economy I had to leave a benefit-laden job with a national company to take a job with a MUCH smaller compan, and while my pay is good the benefits are NOT as good.

I am getting gastric bypass surgery, which the doctor tells me will keep me out of work for six weeks. In my last job we had short-term disability benefits where I would get 80% of my pay for five of the six weeks, using vacation time for the sixth week. My current job has no disability pay.

I can't make the mortgage and pay the out of pocket with six weeks unpaid from work and saving up that much time off or cash puts me on a minimum of a year waiting.

I've heard there may be some companies like Aflac that would provide this benefit but I can't imagine it would cover surgery. How could they profit if I'm signing up 30 or 90 or even 180 days before I plan to use it?

Do I have any choices other than wait or look for a better job?

Give me my money back, give me my money back-you bitch.

hollygoheavy — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 08:00:22 -0800

How do I appeal a long term disability claim that's been denied? I worked as a retail manager until this past February when I had a major hernia repaired. Because of the location, the type of repair that was done and complications I had with the surgical wound, my doctor has put me on "light duty" until the end of August. I have long term disability insurance, but they refused to pay anything after April 30th. In my particular job, I am required to work alone at times for up to 4 hours, I process shipments which come in boxes up to 75 pounds, I regularly move full tables of products and carry bags of products that weigh up to 30 pounds. In addition, I climb ladders which requires balance that I don't have anymore (per my surgeon) because the muscles that were repaired are my core abdominals which are responsible for balance.

The LTD company states that the reason they are denying further payment is because according to my "occupation" I don't require lifting. They further state that whether my "job" requires it or not isn't relevant, they go by occupation when making their decision. I told the case manager I wanted to appeal the decision, because I am unable to go to work until my surgeon releases me (he won't) and because I can't perform my job requirements I would be fired for incompetence (a technicality, but they have to have someone that can do the full job and I can't).

I had to request the appeal paperwork twice and received the 2nd set yesterday. Basically it was just a letter detailing their reasons for the denial and if I wanted to appeal, to call their 800 number. Obviously, that's been done several times over. I've left a message for the case manager to ask her exactly HOW to appeal this, but she hasn't returned my calls yet. I'm lost as to my next step since I really feel that this is just standard for them to deny as a matter of routine. (This is after they took nearly 7 weeks to determine it wasn't a pre-existing condition.)

How can I use technology better to bypass this disability?

Augenblick — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 02:36:10 -0800

My condition has slowly stopped me using the keyboard and mouse, and now the pen. I need some help thinking of ways to finish my PhD and to live somewhat of a normal life. Hive mind, what can shiny technology do for me? Over the last six months I have gradually lost the use of my hands for computer and pen related purposes. I'm in the second year of my PhD and being very well supported by the disability services at my institution. the hope is in the next six months I will get a laptop with voice recognition. I'm using Dragon 9 software, at the moment I only have a PC, so am home bound for working. I should hopefully be able to borrow a high spec digital recorder from next week.

But I need ideas and help to work out how technology might help me on a daily basis. Things I'd particularly need help with include diary planning, ways to use audio recordings of meetings without having to listen to them again in full, and any ideas about how I can make things happen without writing or typing them down. (At the moment, I can use a pen for writing a time and a name down, but anything more is too painful). I can also still use the iPod touch as long as it's not clicking motions (though that may be a case from my cold dead hands...)

I don't particularly need medical advice at the moment as I am being seen by good doctors, really this is a life hacker meets disability question.

Help for the Disabled in Pennsylvania

Danila — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:27:35 -0800

(Philadelphia) Pennsylvania filter: Tell me everything available to a poor disabled person in this state. I would exclude anything easily found on the HHS or DPW websites but nah, tell me about anything you think is nifty. My friend in Ohio told me that her state paid for a computer and a $10,000 sewing machine so she could start a business. Another Ohioan was put through a bachelor's program fully funded by the state. People in other cities get housing through "housing choice" programs (but that list is closed here in Philadelphia and has been for years as long as I've been checking).

I already have:

- medical assistance through medicaid and medicare (although dental options would be great since Keystone 65 Complete doesn't cover it)

- Last year I used a UESF grant for utilities and must wait another year to receive one

- a psychiatric nurse who comes to my home so mental health is covered

- enough in food stamps

I know I could use:

- housing! live with broke parents (one of whom is disabled) and most of my SSDI check goes toward household expenses, and it's still more than I can afford, I must get out of here, but even if I had first, last and security I get turned down for apartments due to income

- utility assistance (because I live with my parents and one of them has a job, so while I dream of things like LIHEAP, the household income is always just a few thousand too much)
When I got the other grant, I had a lease signed by my father that reflected all the money I put into the household as rent and the fact that the utilities, while not in my name, are solely my responsibility
However, any other time I try this, I am told the utilities need to be in my name. I don't want to put them in my name and be responsible forever.

- money to pay off student loans

- any help paying for the next two years of college (getting my associates on Saturday, transitioning to a bachelor's program this summer/fall)

But those are just the mundane things I know I'd like in a perfect world. I want to know about everything anyone else knows. My income is about $10,000 per year from SSDI, I have nothing else, and no assets.

Thanks if anyone knows anything at all.

Video games for my stepdad since his stroke?

spockette — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 11:35:48 -0800

What are some easy computer games my stepdad can play? He had a stroke a few years ago, and that has seriously limited what kind of games he can manage. He sits at home all day and plays non-stop Solitaire and FreeCell. I figure there's got to be some better options for him. He likes racing games (cars, especially), historical stuff (mostly World War II), and things that probably don't have related video games, like gardening and carpentry.

Obviously, since his stroke, there are major limitations as to what sort of games he'll be able to play.

It should be able to be played one-handed. He has full use of his left hand, but he's lost most of the use of his right hand - he can use a mouse with it (although not very well), but he can't use the fingers on that hand, and he can't use the mouse and the keyboard at the same time.

It needs to be simple. There can't be too many choices for him to make (sandbox games are right out, something like "you go here. you shoot these things" is fine), and it needs to be really, really easy to work out what you're supposed to do on each level. (My mother explicitly specified "something on the level of what a 5 year old could manage")

It cannot involve any reading (since his stroke, he's lost the ability to speak, read, and write).

His computer is not very good. He's running Windows XP, has 256mb of RAM (I have no clue what his graphics card is like, but assume it's a piece of junk), and has dial-up internet.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Not Disabled 'enough'

~Sushma~ — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 10:36:38 -0800

What should I do about employment options? Sick & old but not sick OR old *Enough* 56 yr old woman who has signed a non-compete contract, in the same industry for 29 years and has been told I'm on probation for 90 days. Took short-term disability to rest and secure my position but thus far was denied, no money coming in. No retirement money, no other way to make money...more below In February, I was not performing at work due to the pain from cancer and fibromyalgia. I drive 500-1500 miles a week and my performance and compensation is based upon economic growth from last year to this year, of course the economy has tanked and many of my customers are out of business, which impacts negatively on my growth. It is an impossible dilemma of which I know after the 90 days probation, I will be terminated. My doctors told me I must take short term disability, but the STD company tells me I'm not in enough pain to be out of work. I am appealing aggressively. Meanwhile I'm looking at other jobs to perhaps work from home in my waning days of my illness, but have been presented nothing but scams. I have no vocation other than growth based sales. I signed a non-compete contract, of which I don't even want to work in this field again, but am having issues with what to do. I am a full time caretaker for my son, and my primary sales job is a 12-17 hour a day gig. I'm completely burned out but not enough (according to the law) to become disabled. FLMA does not apply. I have no family support and no means of support because I do not have a "label". Need some 'hivehelp'! I have seriously considered suicide but inherently know the harm it will do my son, hence not an option. I feel I am trapped in this hell and see no way out. Between the pain and worry I know I'm not thinking clearly and ask for some suggestions. I am being medicated, and in therapy.

Should I join the Cult of Apple?

wintermute2_0 — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 11:15:06 -0800

This long-time PC user is thinking about getting an iMac and needs advice from current iMac owners. I've been a PC guy since the days of DOS and they have served me well over the years. I started building my own systems about 10 years ago because I like choosing my own parts. But recently, I've been giving more thought to switching to an iMac. Here's why:

- It seems to have better accessibility features. I have a significant physical disability (I'm essentially a quadriplegic) and I can navigate Windows just fine, but my on-screen keyboard (WiViiK) hasn't been updated since 2003. KeyStrokes for OS X seems to have many more customization features, including the ability to create customized templates for games (yes, I'm something of a gamer). I could also use One Finger Snap, an OS X utility that would let me use my single adaptive switch as both a left and right mouse button.

- I could still run any Windows apps I need using Parallels or another virtualization solution.

- iMacs have a smaller footprint than my behemoth of a tower.

- They just look cool.

Here are my questions:

- What are your experiences with the current versions of the iMac? If you made the switch from Windows, what frustrations did you encounter? What do you wish you had known before you made the switch?

- How well do virtualization solutions like Parallels really work? What are their limitations?

- How do iMacs fare as gaming rigs? I play mostly strategy and RPG games.

I'm currently using a pretty nice Windows rig that I built in late 2007, but I could probably sell it on Craigslist if I decide to get an iMac.

I appreciate any insights you can provide.

Is there any recourse if you are fired for conduct due to disability?

Danila — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:41:47 -0800

Fired for misconduct (threats of violence) related to disability. Is there any recourse? My brother was fired about an hour ago. He has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has been with the company for six years. Last week, he came into work while manic and told his supervisor that he "felt like hitting someone". He did not make a specific threat against anyone but was describing how he felt. His supervisor recommended that he go home. He then checked into a hospital and was released yesterday, doing much better. He has never had a manic incident at work before. He has been very good at his job and won numerous awards. His medications have been changed to better control the mania.

An hour ago he went to work and was fired for "threats of violence".

He has kept the company in the loop about his disorder, providing medical documentation when needed and always being honest with his supervisor because they encouraged this. That is the only reason he told them how he was feeling, and now he has been fired for it. It is a very large company and he is a full-time employee. He is also in the union.

Does he have any recourse at all? We assume he needs to speak with an employment lawyer, but is there any hope? He will be meeting with the head union rep on Monday, is there anything he can do before then? He sees his doctor tomorrow, is there anything he needs from the doctor? Please help if you can. Thank you.

Help me understand disability insurance please.

thebestsophist — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 20:44:27 -0800

How does disability insurance work for a freelancer? I am looking to start doing freelance work and am looking into health insurance and the like. Disability insurance normally pays a percentage of your normal monthly salary...but freelancers don't exactly have a a monthly salary...so how does it work? Is it even required? I see posters that say disability insurance is required by federal law for companies with one or more employees, does that include people that are self-employed?

Paying for cancer

Anonymous — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 12:25:47 -0800

I may have breast cancer. I do not have health insurance. What now? I am in my late thirties and the sole support of two teenagers. We live in California, and our closest family is in Florida. I am a long-term contractor at my current job, but no longer think they are going to hire me on, and so I have started looking for permanent work elsewhere. I don't have health insurance, and open enrollment has passed on my agency's health plan.

A hereditary breast/ovarian cancer risk factor, a BRCA1 deletion mutation, runs in my family. According to the literature, women with this particular mutation have an 80% chance of developing breast or ovarian cancer. My sister, my mother, my mother's sister, my grandmother's sister, and my grandmother's sister's daughter have have had breast or ovarian cancer. My mother, my mother's sister, and my grandmother's sister died from it. My sister was diagnosed stage 1/2 borderline, and had chemo and a bilateral mastectomy less than a year ago.

Well, yesterday I felt a lump in my breast. It was about the size of my fingertip to the first knuckle.

It could be nothing, but it could be cancer. If it were cancer, the treatment would probably be very aggressive -- meaning I may not be able to work.

If I got a diagnosis before securing insurance -- would that be a 'pre-existing condition' the company would not like to pay for?
And how do I get health insurance? Is 'Emergency Medi-Cal' or medicare an option?
If I had to go out on disability, I could not pay my rent. What if I moved to Florida to live with my dad -- how would that affect my state insurance and/or disability benefits? Would I apply here, then go there? Go there, then apply?

I don't mean to be hysterical. I know that it could very well be nothing at all. But it does seem like the timing of the diagnosis wrt insurance could be important, so I need to be smart about this. Hope for the best and plan for the worst, as they say.

Thanks for any advice you can give me.

I need a driving instructor who will teach me in my own car!

mingodingo — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 13:32:47 -0800

San Francisco Bay Area Filter: Help me re-learn how to drive! I'm 26 and haven't driven at all for almost four years (since I moved to the Bay Area). I'm considering getting a car, but would only feel comfortable driving again if I took a driving course (not the drivers' ed stuff, of course, just the driving portion).

There's one catch though. I'm disabled and short-statured due to my disability, so I use pedal extensions and a special seat in the driver's seat. I will look for a car that accommodates both of these modifications. Thus, learning in a "drivers' ed" car typically won't work for me--I need to learn from someone who is comfortable and willing to teach me in my own car. When I took drivers' ed the first time, I learned in my own car, but had one of the special "instructor brakes" temporarily installed in the passenger's side. I'm not sure that this is something that I would be either willing or financially able to do this time around. Will an instructor teach someone with a valid drivers' license who has driven before for several years without having that "safety brake" installed in the car?

Any recommendations for instructors who will do this in the Bay Area (particularly East Bay)? Thanks!

What's the REAL reason I'm seemingly undesirable?

arizona80 — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 19:32:49 -0800

I am a 28 yr old female who technically has never had a date--least of all a romantic relationship. Perhaps a few others can attest to the same situation, but I've been feeling over the past couple of years that the real reason is due to my physical disability. My condition causes me to use an electric wheelchair. Personally, I regard myself as highly attractive: nice figure, beautiful hair and face yet men rarely approach me both in person or on the two online dating sites I've tried. I have various theories on why this is so, but I'd love to hear from the male point of view. Putting my feelings aside, what really gives?