Yay! Almost a year after taking the NYS Civil Service/Professional exam, I finally got my first canvass letter, from the NYS Insurance Fund, asking me about my interest in being considered for a Personnel Administration traineeship. Going by my previous questions, you might imagine that I'm VERY, VERY interested.. They want a resume before they'll even consider an interview. That's a problem. [more inside]
YANMT, but maybe you can help me figure out why I push away the very people I'd like to get to know better, both in romantic and platonic capacities. I'm asking as sort of a follow-up to this question but I really wanted help exploring that specific facet of things a little more deeply. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
I'll be turning 25 in two months' time. For a variety of reasons, some of which can be teased out with a thorough reading of my ask history ( chief among them the fall-out of a cerebral palsy diagnosis, namely a llifelong sense of otherness and a lack of familiarity with what it means to be the author of one's own life), I feel like there's a huge discrepancy between that number and the ccoping skills, initative, emotional balance and vision for the future that I have to show for it ( a lack thereof, in my case). How do I adult when I feel so stunted? Vaguely Freudian wall of snowflakes inside. [more inside]
I have grad school. I have lupus. The two are not friends. Help me to start asking for accommodations when needed despite resistance. [more inside]
I'd like to read about the intersection of bodies, disability, race, gender, and class. All writing (and other?) genres welcome. [more inside]
For the past few years, I've had to deal with what seems like procrastination's more stubborn cousin. It's not just a tendency to put things off- it feels like a visceral, physically-manifested resistance to doing things that should involve no forethought in terms of effort whatsoever, or that do, but that would only serve to help me better myself if I managed to get them done. [more inside]
In March, I had a stroke the week before Winter Quarter finals and it resulted in right hemi weakness. I have made lots of good progress in recovery and continue going to physical therapy, but after a summer of my savings being eaten by medical bills, I am trying to figure out ways to make some money. My circumstances make that difficult. Details within. [more inside]
My mom has been attempting to get disability for a while, and it won't happen. She has a paralyzed leg, and has lost feeling and fine motor control in her fingers. She has finally heard that a retirement account that she can't access seems to be the problem. [more inside]
The situation that prompted one of my first questions on AskMe is unfortunately still relevant. Logistics have improved, my depression is....eh. I'm 25 now and have been out of undergrad for over a year. This is my resume . Ignore the crappy formatting, but... [more inside]
I (24yo F) live independently here in DC and have a good life. I have a great full-time job that pays pretty well for someone my age, go to grad school part time, and have a happy social life. I have an excellent relationship with my parents, but I need to talk to them about how my special needs sibling (21yo M) affects my life in the present and the future. I get along very well with my parents, but I'm not sure how to broach this topic in a way that is productive and respectful. [more inside]
I recently moved from one state to another and was in the middle of applying for disability, but that's not where the story begins. It starts with deception and a long wait that didn't need to happen (long story inside). [more inside]
A last-minute injury put a halt on our planned anniversary travel. What is the most fun/exciting/interesting/relaxing place we can go or thing we can do instead, given our limitations? [more inside]
I'm not happy with the way I look or feel. I haven't been for a long time. I'm severely overweight, have high blood pressure with a family history of heart disease and diabetes, wake up with back pain every morning, have zero energy if it doesn't come in the form of an energy drink or shot, and just generally look like hell. What can I do to lose over 80 lbs and get myself to a healthy BMI for a 24yo 5'8' male when my brain acts like it really, really just wants to have me die of a heart attack by 35? Snowstorm inside. [more inside]
I posted here about my financial situation of being on disability for mental health reasons. Right now my PTSD symptoms are huge and all-consuming, so I am not able to accomplish much at all. However, I'm hitting a financial crisis point and need to find some remedy. My credit is too bad to get any kind of loan and I don't know who I could ask for one personally. Do you have any suggestions?
Do you have any tips for flying with an injury or pain? What have your experiences been? [more inside]
All my life, people have complimented me on my abiity to write well. In middle and high school, it was writing good chapter summaries, literary analyses and essays for homework using flowery language. In college, it became about construction and the flow of ideas, and I found myself to be reasonably adept at that as well. I'm currently jobless ( looking for my first job at 25), and when people chime in with suggestions on how to fix that, they can't understand why I poo-poo the idea of writing professionally out of hand. Help me develop my writerly mind and get myself out of the English class for good. [more inside]
I'm looking for suggestions of ways to interact with technology that doesn't use hands. For the past year and a half, I've been suffering from hand and wrist pain. I've seen multiple doctors with no resolution yet. So I'm looking for some suggestions on how to use technology and not aggravate the condition. [more inside]
I have severe social anxiety and depression, but I've been trying to work part-time with the support of my state's vocational rehab program. I have a natural exit point from this job coming up on August 27th, and I intend to take it. I don't know, though, if I can make it that long. [more inside]
Many of the details in this question still apply. Logistics aren't that big of a deal anymore, and I'm chipping away ever so slowly at my social anxiety and fluency issue, but I'm still without prospects and now about $12k in debt on account of some reckless impulse spending and unpaid debt from college. Can the hivemind help get me out from under this? Snowstorm inside. [more inside]
YANM medical billing professional, but I need help in getting my very expensive, recently-out-of-warranty electric wheelchair fixed. I live in NY, have (crappy) private insurance ( Oxford Liberty) through my mother's job and Medicaid due to a cerebral palsy diagnosis. My chair ( an Invacare model) was provided through my previous insurance and OL isn't accepted by the contractor that provided it. They take Medicaid, but refuse to put in a claim and keep passing the buck. I can't leave my house. What do I do? [more inside]
I am a late 50's year old woman living in Ohio, with chronic diabetes, stroke, and other ailments. I have been employed for the past 20 years, but it is getting exceedingly difficult to do any work. I want to know if I quality for disability benefits (like a monthly check?) even if I own my own home, and I own some other real estate properties. Who can qualify? What are other things that might disqualify me? Will receiving Disability benefits exclude me from receiving Social Security benefits when I reach the age of 65? Tanks.
I work with an adult with disabilities in western Mass. I take him out a few times a week, and we're running out of stuff to do! Can you help us find more things to enjoy? [more inside]
I'm better now, but I feel that I was disabled before and want to re-file my taxes. Do I need to prove this, and how does that work? What does it take to prove disability, especially retroactively? [more inside]
I'm interested in knowing more about ableism (its central theories, history, politics, etc). Frankly, I'm very ignorant of the subject at present. I've tried researching on my own, but have come up nearly empty in terms of finding thorough sites, blogs, books -- anything, really. Disability rights is also something I'd like to learn about, though I'm so ignorant of that subject as well that I'm not sure of the overlap between that and ableism. [more inside]
I'm looking for a benign keylogger to record the number of keypresses and button presses I make each day. This would be installed on my laptop running Vista (and is for my own personal edification). There are lots of results via Google, but I trust MeFites more, of course. [more inside]
My life has been a bit hard for a while now. It has been ruthless #@$* for a few months. I need some strategies to force myself to keep going. Lots of moaning follows. [more inside]
So, for a variety of reasons, I was never very good about my dental care regimen. This has come to mean that, at 24, I have one cracked tooth, two chipped ones covered with veneers, two that have been pulled, a mouth full of cavities, gum disease and on-and-off pain in different teeth. I'm so tired of this. I know it's horrible to think this way, but the more time that passes, the less I feel like even brushing my teeth ( I only do it when I have to go out at this point). The guilt and anxiety are wrecking me psychologically as is the constant threat of intractable pain. I've tried to get things done the usual way- one appointment/procedure at a time, when I could afford it and had the emotional fortitude to go through with them. The problem is that my last two or three appointments- for root canals and fillings- have gone terribly. The anaesthetic never, ever worked, even after multiple injections, and even with nitrous. My last visit for a root canal was the first time I ever had the distinct displeasure of knowing what a drill on one's nerve feels like. I now shudder at the mere sound of a drill or anything that sounds like it. [more inside]
Social Security filter: got back pay that seemed legit at first, but now am not sure. Thoughts? [more inside]
My performance review was terrible and they almost fired me. I was given six months to shape up. But I was on disability for 50% of the work period and I don't want to get fired while I'm still in rehab. What to do? [more inside]
So, I'm currently on a self-improvement kick that I'm looking to turn into a marathon. You might imagine that having cerebral palsy and being in a wheelchair adds a speedbump or two, and you'd be right. One of the things I've wanted to work on for a while has been my weight, flexibility and physical independence. I'm about 100 lbs overweight right now, and I know that much of the decrease in quality of life that I've experienced over the past few years has been my own doing. I either sit in the wheelchair, or a desk chair, or on a couch/bed. I never move. Ever. I know that needs to change, and I've spent considerable time researching wheelchair fitness, but haven't really found anything that fits my very particular needs. [more inside]
I couldn't find any recent questions on this topic, so I wanted to ask you helpful folks for advice on where to begin researching professional liability and disability insurance. I'm an independent contractor, and it's also my first real job, so I'm trying to get all my ducks in a row. I'm in California, if it matters. Thank you.
I have some long-term disability insurance through my employer. I'm thinking I'd like to supplement this with some additional LTD insurance I buy on my own. I have a couple of quotes from highly rated insurers through a broker I like. What should I be looking for when comparing these quotes? [more inside]
Tokers of Mefi! I'm hoping you can help me make the most educated and effective choice when I go to restock my herb tomorrow. I'm looking to replicate what for me, as someone dealing with cerebral palsy, (and because of it, a pronounced and profoundly isolating stutter), was a life-changing experience with MJ, one that came about a year after my first encounter with the herb. [more inside]
Due to limited mobility from a disability, I'm forced to rely strictly on voice commands to control a cell phone. Over the years, trying to find a solution for reliable hands free functionality in this area has been challenging. Anyone familiar with voice recognition in the past knows the capricious, quirky nature of the beast. It can be VERY frustrating and almost comical at times. Anyway, with today's processing speeds and the advent of Siri and Google Now, I can happily say that it's almost there for me. In fact, I give a 90% approval rating for recent experiences with the latest Iphone and Android products. The biggest obstacle now has been the necessity to hit the home button to trigger the lovely Siri. This last hindrance was overcome by none other than Google with their release of the Moto X -- which waits in standby mode listening for your command. I was so excited by all the reviews that I rushed out to buy my own. It turned out fantastically, but (and there's always a butt in these things) it came with another quirky disappointment. And this one is kind of surprising: The damn thing won't answer incoming calls by voice. I've looked thru all the settings and searched high and low for an app but to no avail. The closest I've come is an app that auto answers after one ring, but who wants that? What if I'm trying to dodge the ex-gf. Lol. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks in advance.
Other than filing for disability with the VA, what are my options for restitution or proceeding forward with therapy or other medical options? [more inside]
Granddad loves wildlife, and has taken multiple Lindblad/National Geographic tours to Ecuador/Galapagos to see the animals. He would love to go back there, or to somewhere new, but I'm a little worried about his new mobility constraints ( use of wheelchair, walker). Where is the best accessible wildlife viewing in North, Central, South America? [more inside]
I'm like every other post-college twentysomething in lots of ways: I make too little money, watch too much Netflix and indulge in an existential crisis oh, about once an hour. Also, like many in my cohort, I love the idea of packing up a ratty old duffel bag and heading off to some far corner of the world to taste, see and do all I can, while maybe giving myself either a leg to stand on once I return to the job market here or the warm-n-fuzzies that come from volunteering and/or service learning. All pretty standard fare. Here comes the doozy of snowflake: I'm in a wheelchair and have certain difficulties with speech fluency, owing to my CP and spastic diplegia diagnosis. Try as I might, I can't get myself to give up on the dream of spending a year or more abroad, even with all this in my way. Help me get there, oh beautiful hivemind? [more inside]
Asking for a distressed friend, Vancouver BC. Call her Laura. She's suffering from a long term chronic nerve pain issue which has recently gotten worse (the past year). She doesn't want a diagnosis from the community. What she needs is advice on how to get a diagnosis from a relevant doctor so that she can qualify for some kind of disability assistance. [more inside]
I live on the second floor of a building, and some of my family has difficultly climbing the stairs. If I'm not able to come up with a solution they won't be able to visit. There is no elevator. The railing is a simple metal one. There are about 25 stairs. Are there any creative ideas I'm missing?
Hi Mefi Community, I would like to apply for an MFT grad program but feel a huge block when it comes to the personal statement, as well as the letter of reference(s). One of my recommenders has asked that I draft the letter of reference and he will approve it after review, but I've never actually even seen one of these before, so do not know where to begin! [more inside]
I think I need to dump my primary care doctor under bad circumstances. He's abrasive, no longer coordinating my healthcare and has been suddenly unwilling to perform the services I pay for as part of a $3k+ yearly concierge program. After being a real boon to my healthcare as somebody with a rare disease for years, his treatment of me changed on a dime this fall. I blamed myself initially -- or thought he was just having a difficult day/week/month. It turns out he's being disciplined for severe incompetence (like, jaw dropping) and the practice will be monitored for many years. He has been so angry and abusive just to my husband picking up paper that I don't feel safe in the room alone with him. How can I tell new doctors why I'm leaving? How should I wrap things up? *blizzard* [more inside]
So, I'm getting progressively more disabled and looking at getting a stair lift. I have zero experience with stair lifts. Does anyone have any words of wisdom about buying one? [more inside]
My husband and I are looking to purchase term life and supplemental LT disability insurance, but we're really not sure what terms to look for (and look out for), which companies are reputable, and how the process works overall. Do you have any experience here? [more inside]
What laws apply to music/performance venues in the UK in terms of providing reasonable access to disabled artists? Example: a band with a member in a wheelchair, where the venue may not be equipped to allow a wheelchair user onstage or in the backstage areas.
I am in a depressive episode and my symptoms are getting worse. They manifest themselves almost exclusively at work or when thinking about work. Should I ask my psychiatrist for a leave of absence to get my symptoms under control? [more inside]
I'm caring for my sick and declining wife, but my own anger issues have made me a terrible caregiver at times, let alone partner. We both love each other deeply, and want to spend our final years together, but if I can't stop making her miserable I have to go. I'm already pursuing therapy, have a psychiatrist, etc. I am not ashamed to seek help; the stakes are so high. I will be devastated if I have to walk away because I am a toxic presence, and so I'm determined to address my problems and be the husband she needs. I'm seeking ideas and advice on how to eliminate the bad so we can enjoy the good. More below... [more inside]
I am applying for disability and just received mail that informed be that I would have to have a mental and physical exam. I understand that this is the usual procedure. What I am not happy about is that my "mental exam" is taking place in a mega church. [more inside]
How should I deal with a co-worker who won't evacuate when a fire alarm sounds? I am particularly concerned because his mobility is limited. Added complication: he is my boss. [more inside]
I'm on SSI for disability, with a long-outstanding credit card debt that's gone to collections. They keep offering me settlements, but a settlement would produce a 1099-C, and Social Security would count the cancelled debt amount as unearned income, which they take dollar-for-dollar out of my SSI checks. That's no better than paying the debt in full (which has been impossible for years and will be for years to come). Do I have any options other than continuing to ignore them? [more inside]
I have been disabled for years, but there is a good chance I will be completely paraplegic soon. I have spinal cord cancer, which was treated with radiation, chemo and the removal of the tumor a few years ago, but it seems to be growing again. I'm going to have another MRI in two months to see if it really is growing or if I have just injured myself somehow, but I think it is more likely that it's growing. The first operation and the tumor itself damaged my spinal cord, but the likely next step will be removing that section of the spinal cord entirely, leaving me completely paralyzed from that point down. This obviously sucks, but it gives me at least two months to prepare for it, which most paraplegics don't have. I'm trying to get my house made accessible as soon as I can, and I've watched videos about how to select a wheelchair and (ugh) bowel programs. I know a place that can fix up my car so I can drive it again. Please tell me anything you can think of that might help make the transition a little smoother. Thanks.