39 posts tagged with despair.
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Ongoing Despair Despite Getting Lots of Treatment

Hey all, I've been getting lots of treatment (4x week) for C-PTSD/incest and BPD, and yet nothing is working. All meds on the market have been tried except for one MAOI. Ketamine infusions have been done. Inpatient hospitalization was very traumatizing and inhumane. Nothing works. I'm at the point where I don't really know who I am anymore and I feel hopeless about any future; nothing interests me at all. I can barely go through the motions to make my rent and feed myself. What can I do?
posted by Kombucha3452 on Dec 26, 2016 - 17 answers

Alone again, naturally - help me cope with a fresh breakup

After my recent question about a long distance relationship going awry, it has ended. He broke up with me and I didn't try to stop it. I know it was the right thing, and break ups are never easy, but I'm finding it really hard to cope. Please help me find some hope in all of this. [more inside]
posted by wreckofthehesperus on Oct 14, 2016 - 15 answers

Getting Through the Shitty Marriage Times

People with long, reasonably rewarding relationships: how do you get through the times your partner is a bummer? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 6, 2016 - 49 answers

How to get through heartbreak that I still can't believe is happening?

The man I love & live with, who until five days ago was saying he loved me, broke up with me the day after we got home from a weekend trip. I was shocked and am feeling scared and helpless. Please give me some tips on how to get through this thing that feels unendurable, I know there are other heartbreak threads on Metafilter and I welcome links. I also welcome advice that will help me see a way through this. The above gets to the heart of it, but big, embarrassing Snowflake below. [more inside]
posted by adastra on Oct 1, 2015 - 36 answers

Change:What are the high value ways for laypeople to help in your field?

Advocates, researchers, activists, and policymakers - after recent news stories about distressing topics such as species extinction, police brutality, voter suppression, and global warming, I'm often stuck between hopelessness and wanting to work for change, but feeling really lost about where to start. What are your suggestions for the field or fields you know most about. [more inside]
posted by mercredi on Jun 22, 2015 - 11 answers

Pursuing a career out of thin air

I am profoundly stuck trying to figure out if there is a career that can fit my needs after a unique medical/existential history. I am in my late 30s, and spent most of my life having surreal dissociative epileptic seizures, but not realizing the cause. The nature of the seizures were such that I assumed the world was not real in any way. So despite a great education, I have not prioritized or conceptualized work or career in any sense, and simply bounced from thing to thing without caring, as long as I could feed and house myself in very basic ways. Now that I know what was up all these years, I have no idea how to move forward. Any potential ideas, dear MeFites? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2015 - 14 answers

Is it even possible to "date" anymore?

Okay. So. I'm thirty years old now. I am reasonably mentally sound and healthy. I am a single man. I am okay with this fact, but because everyone I know is getting married and/or makin' babies, I have to wonder what, if anything, is wrong with me, or at least to come to an understanding that lets me be at peace with the future, however bleak it looks on the relationship front. [more inside]
posted by deathpanels on Jan 17, 2015 - 42 answers

How to escape the spiral of loneliness

How do carry on living in the world and trying to make connections when your lack of validation and friendships over all of your life has worn away at you so much it feels impossible? When you're so lonely and sad you need so much from other people that you're bound to frighten them off? I feel like I am turning into stone. [more inside]
posted by ninjablob on Dec 14, 2014 - 15 answers

Help me reset my brain from depression

School and life have gotten tough in the past few weeks, I have become depressed and I want to prevent it from getting worse [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Oct 26, 2014 - 10 answers

How do I manage my dream project when I'm sad and anxious?

I am faced with a hugely exciting, complex, challenging project of my own devising. It's a chance for me to build my dream and ... I'm sitting here crying instead of working. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2014 - 6 answers

Libido Rollercoasters Going In Different Directions...

After years of his turning me down sexually and not wanting to touch me as I enjoy, now he's interested... and I’m not. Is there anything we can do? [NSFW] [more inside]
posted by Someone Else's Story on Mar 14, 2014 - 18 answers

Major Depressive Disorder and Imaginative Fiction

I've been depressed for many years. It has sapped my creative powers. I've had enough. How can I live as a depressed person, but elevate above the limitations this has imposed on me in the past to escape into a writing practice that could create imaginative works of fiction? [more inside]
posted by samizdat on Feb 3, 2014 - 15 answers

Utterly and completely alone

My life isn't perfect, but it's certainly isn't very bad at all, especially in comparison to other peoples troubles. Still, every so often, things get really really bad. The problem is that I can't afford paid therapy, and my support network is... Not really helpful. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 10, 2014 - 25 answers

How to continue when you feel you're falling behind every day?

I'm in my mid 30s and feel like life has passed me by and it's too late to fix it. Looking for help on handling the situation so it doesn't consume me. Lot's inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2013 - 20 answers

Staying happy while digging yourself out of the hole you made

Tools for staying positive while "getting back on the wagon", so to speak. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 29, 2013 - 9 answers

sick of being sick, how to keep my chin up?

I'm sick and depressed and I don't know how to stop it [more inside]
posted by lifethatihavenotlivedyet on Jul 20, 2012 - 5 answers

I am the Salieri of frogs and now they just ribbit "failure"

I feel like my life has been a long succession of second bests. For the most part, I've been okay with this; after all, second best is really good, right?!? But recently, I feel like I may be becoming second best in my little hobby--my refuge--and I'm looking for new pick-me-ups, koans, and defensive strategies so I can concentrate on what I love and not get too frustrated all the time. [more inside]
posted by myaskme on Dec 27, 2011 - 47 answers

Your Insight to What Can Jump Start a Person Out of a Hopeless State

I have sputtered down into a rather listless scary hopeless state. I have depression which I am being treated for. My question... What has gotten you up or moving ahead when in the darkest pit? I am taking things about 1 hr at a time right now and was doing conventional things as best I could like exercise and spiritual things, but it is like a watch that has stopped. I guess I want to know what has helped you, no matter how tangential it may seem. I appreciate your time and responses. (I suspect there may have been other links on MeFi over the years on this as this is the human condition and I apologize in advance if it seems like I have been to lazy to look. It has taken me 1 hr to even compose this question.)
posted by snap_dragon on Dec 4, 2011 - 28 answers

because putting "Maybe Sprout Wings" on repeat isn't really a valid coping strategy

I've been having short, intense feelings of overwhelming despair, particularly at night. I need advice on dealing with this. [more inside]
posted by NoraReed on Feb 13, 2011 - 16 answers

"All extraordinary men, who have accomplished great and astonishing actions, have ever been decried by the world as drunken or insane"

Books for/about disaffected, disillusioned young men? [more inside]
posted by prufrock on May 22, 2010 - 37 answers

Another file disappears into the ether.

Long-shot filter... recovery of an AbiWord file that has disappeared while being transferred to a flash drive? [more inside]
posted by Savannah on May 3, 2010 - 4 answers


Is it the depression or am I really just hopeless? More irrational, but firmly believed, info inside. [more inside]
posted by whalebreath on Mar 8, 2010 - 15 answers

How do I know if I should break up with my boyfriend?

How do I know if I should break up with my boyfriend? (Warning: novel-length special snowflake question) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 5, 2010 - 51 answers

Hostages to fortune

How can I maintain some optimism about my child's future, given the crappy crappy world we live in? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 24, 2010 - 45 answers

Dark yet redemptive poetry or fiction?

It takes a certain mood to get into rallies of joy and nature and deep emotions; when one feels alienated, out-of-touch from everything the poets love, what then to read? [more inside]
posted by mbrock on Feb 19, 2010 - 17 answers

Not quite child abuse but damn it's close

How do you stop feeling bad about situations that don't affect you directly and which you are powerless to alter? This involves other peoples' young children. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 1, 2009 - 22 answers

I am in despair

I think I'm broken. How can I see any hope? [more inside]
posted by lndl on Aug 26, 2009 - 28 answers

Oh Dear.

My life is kinda fucked up and I'm at a complete loss at the steps I need to take in order to not be so fucked up. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2009 - 37 answers

I need to find meaning in life

I have managed to screw up my life repeatedly for years and officially hit bottom recently. How do I escape this descent into nihilism and find meaning and success? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 9, 2008 - 24 answers

Lack of Trust in My God in a Box

I would like to sense God in my life. I go to church regularly, pray, and read the Bible to understand Him better but I still have such deep bouts of depression where I either don't trust or sense his presence. There is a wide gap between what I believe with my heart and what I understand in my head. For example, I understand and believe in the sovereignty in God but when hard times come or extremely difficult emotions (despair) arise, that is the first thing I question. I am not looking for an easy life or a perfect life, just one that is able to trust God more. Any opinions on how to do this? I feel a great tension between trying harder, and just letting go but my letting go resembles more closely giving up than "letting God" if you know what i mean. To summarize, I want a stronger faith. Any ideas? Thanks so much for input.
posted by snap_dragon on May 8, 2008 - 58 answers

Says Deavere-Smith, go West young man, despair, come back hopeful.

I remember seeing about 2 years ago a clip where Anna Deavere Smith was doing a piece on Cornel West. Channeling him saying that he uses the "language of despair" because you must despair before you can hope. Something like that. It was quite moving...and I've thought about it many times in the interim. [more inside]
posted by sully75 on Feb 7, 2008 - 8 answers

unable to perform thy terms too hard

I really really dislike doing things. This goes all the way ad absurdum in that I actually would rather freeze into nothingness than deal with college, work, chores, and so on. [more inside]
posted by raisons de coeur on Aug 27, 2007 - 21 answers

Weird problem with wireless modem / router - connection dies after 20 minutes.

Weird problem with wireless modem / router - connection dies after 20 minutes. [more inside]
posted by arrowhead on Jun 18, 2007 - 3 answers

Who said, "Humor is the politeness of despair?"

Who said, "Humor is the politeness of despair?" [more inside]
posted by StopMakingSense on Jun 3, 2007 - 3 answers

How to soothe a man in the twilight of his life, with literature?

What is a good book to buy for a bright, elderly man who: a.) has probably read everything, and, b.) is experiencing some level of despair due to his rapidly deteriorating body (he has motor neuron disease)? [more inside]
posted by mjao on Mar 8, 2007 - 31 answers

Severe rosacea flare-up: what to do?

My rosacea has flared up really badly since December. I've gone from a rosy glow to angry red blotches and honest-to-God pustules for the first time. Yes, I'm going back to my dermatologist, but I need some hope that there is some damn thing out there that will help me. [more inside] [more inside]
posted by rosemere on Feb 5, 2007 - 12 answers


My neck cracking habit is killing me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2006 - 24 answers

Lost Laptop Data

I'm posting for a friend who was using an old laptop running win95. One day it wouldn't boot, so they took it to "Geek Squad" at compusa or wherever, and they said they couldn't help. [more inside]
posted by craniac on Jun 3, 2005 - 9 answers

Folksonomied Better Business Bureau

The better business bureau seems to be kinda worthless. Is there a generic website where I can go to rate local businesses that isn't awash with tons of ads or filler? I'm thinking something craigs-list-ish, but searchable, with Amazonian filtering (the website, not the large women, although that would be cool too). I think I just got ripped off by a tire store, and I'm tired of going through life a victim. Lazyweb, take me away! [more inside]
posted by mecran01 on Apr 19, 2005 - 12 answers

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