How can I politely ask someone to stop using the word "gay" in a derogatory way? I wish I would have objected to it from the first time that I heard this individual say it, but the person is my new roommate in a new town and I didn't want to anger him/her. Plus the first few times s/he said it, we were around other people in public and I didn't want to scold him/her at the time. S/he says "gay" to mean "stupid" all the time and it offends me. How can I bring it up now, a few weeks into our being roommates, in a way that won't be upsetting to our relationship? If this helps, I have a gay sibling and many gay friends and could use that as part of the explanation. Normally I call people out on this right away but this is a much more complicated relationship, as we have to live together and get along for a year. I don't think that s/he knows that it is offensive, although s/he is nearly 30 years old.
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2005 - 63 answers