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36 year old with midlife crisis looking for advice

I got to a point in my life, where I need to look around and decide what to change. And although it may look as if I should have a lot of options and possibilities – I feel stuck. I would appreciate any comments from you – any hints, suggestions, ideas or stories how you overcame similar problems. I do need inspiration and I would be very thankful for any feedback from you. [more inside]
posted by dogbert on Jun 17, 2013 - 17 answers

 

It's too late to try communication

I didn't communicate with my SO before hand, and now I'm self destructing. What are my options? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 16, 2013 - 14 answers

How can I nip a depressive episode in the bud?

The past few weeks I've been starting to feel the sorts of things that I associate with previous depressive episodes, and I am hoping that there might be some way I can stop it before it really becomes a problem again. [more inside]
posted by madelf on Jun 13, 2013 - 26 answers

Leave of Absence / Short-term Disability Insurance for Depression?

I've always been prone to depression as a result of my dysthymia and due to recent traumatic events, I've slumped into depression again. My work productivity and quality suffered as a result and I ended up breaking down to my manager, sobbing my eyes out and explaining my situation. I was even developing suicidal ideations and at this point, I've taken a little over a week off of work. In the mean time, I've seen a doctor, a psychiatrist, and a therapist for my depression and I've been prescribed Pristiq. Now, my question is in regards to requesting a leave of absence for my depression [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 13, 2013 - 7 answers

I Can't Get Over the Death of My Birdie. What do I do now?

My parrot Scooby died a week ago. I am still in a horrible state of mourning. My wife is over it. She keeps telling me to get over it too. YANMT. What can I do to move on? I loved Scooby so very much. I have to force myself to eat every day. I've been drinking a lot. I can't stop thinking about her and what she was like and did. I dream about her death every night. I think it's affecting my physical health.
posted by Splunge on Jun 12, 2013 - 45 answers

How to power through apathy? Or why even bother?

I have come down with a case of bad apathy. How do I find the energy/motivation/desire to even start to want to come out of it? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jun 12, 2013 - 13 answers

My life is a mess, and I feel paralyzed to fix it. Suggestions?

My life is a mess right now, and I can't seem to start taking the steps I need to take to dig myself out of the hole I'm in. Any suggestions? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2013 - 17 answers

Bipolar II and diet

"Curing" bipolar II through diet (specifically, by giving up sugar, alcohol and caffeine). Is this BS? [more inside]
posted by whistle pig on Jun 10, 2013 - 21 answers

Date or wait?

I'm a man in his mid-twenties. I've never been in a relationship. I've never even taken anyone out on a date. I want to rectify this, but I think my mental health and my living situation prevent me from doing so. Should I even try to date? If not, what should I do? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2013 - 35 answers

How much tv is too much tv?

I'm sort of new to watching tv. But thanks to Roku and Amazon Prime, I'm all "whoooooa this is awesooommmmeee!"... for, like, an entire day. How do I know how much tv is 'normal', since I'm prone to being sedentary and depressed at times, and really can't tell? [more inside]
posted by ArgyleMarionette on Jun 8, 2013 - 21 answers

how to engage in self-care when responsibilities get in the way

I'm depressed, in a gruesome summer class, and feel like there just aren't enough hours in the day to handle both my responsibilities and my well-being. How do busy people balance these things? Why do we even bother with these pesky responsibilities that society imposes on us? [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Jun 8, 2013 - 9 answers

Is dysthymia curable? What does that look like?

Please describe the experience of going from "usually slightly depressed" to "usually reasonably happy". [more inside]
posted by zeri on Jun 5, 2013 - 13 answers

I'm new to depression. Please help.

Yesterday I admitted aloud to my husband that I think I am suffering from depression. This came after a lengthy argument over something trivial. Lately I have been feeling very, very irritated at the littlest things, and I feel like I could tear the world apart. [more inside]
posted by ThaBombShelterSmith on Jun 4, 2013 - 39 answers

Apathy busters.

I am depressed -- not the sad miserable suicidal kind but the apathetic, heavy can't get out of bed kind. (I am unfortunately familiar with both.) [more inside]
posted by summer sock on Jun 2, 2013 - 20 answers

I'm not traumatized... Am I? (Sexual assault recovery)

I was sexually assaulted a few times and stalked/harrassed by an abusive, predatory and highly manipulative man who was in a position of trust to me. (We weren't in a relationship; he is nearly three times my age.) I am confused about where I should "be" or where I amin terms of getting over the events. Counselors and websites are quick to point out things like PTSD and rape trauma syndrome; they are suggesting things like EMDR and strongly hinting that I'm traumatized. I'm not convinced. Is it possible to actually be traumatized and not realize/recognize it? Is a "trauma response"... with panic attacks, flashbacks, and such... the only possible response to rape and harassment? Secondly: Is therapy always necessary to deal with this sort of thing? Or is it possible that I have/will get over it by myself? I don't want to pathologize myself. I don't want to create new problems for myself by going to therapy that I might not actually need. I wanted to ask metafilter because the counselors I speak to are obviously going to be somewhat biased in telling me that I am "traumatized". [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Jun 1, 2013 - 26 answers

How much help to offer? How many times?

A family member is extremely depressed. Several of us are concerned. I want to help, but don't want to do anything that will make things worse or alienate this person. [more inside]
posted by Eolienne on Jun 1, 2013 - 9 answers

Recommended professional counsellors/therapists around Vancouver, BC?

I'm asking for a friend. Any recommendations or resources available? Located in Vancouver area and working on a sliding scale (or relatively affordable) would be much appreciated.
posted by Hawk V on May 30, 2013 - 4 answers

Consequences of coming off anti-depressants

I've been on 40mg of Citalopram for over a year, I'm also on medication to reduce my blood pressure. About a week or so ago I stopped taking them, initially I just forgot for a day or two, but I now feel like I want to stay off them. Am I making a really bad decision here? [more inside]
posted by zingzangzung on May 30, 2013 - 25 answers

How can I stop binge eating, especially in the evenings?

I am in my 30s and have recently developed binge eating habits, and would like your advice/suggestions on how to approach this, when already feeling overwhelmed with life. Medication info and other elaboration inside... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2013 - 21 answers

My friend with anxiety won't help himself and I don't know what to do

A friend of mine refuses to address his anxiety issues. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but also don't know how much more I can take. Please help. [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on May 28, 2013 - 15 answers

How can my family bar my bipolar father from access to credit?

My bipolar father will go on crazy consumer debt fueled sprees of spending / gambling. What can we do on a severely limited budget to ensure he doesn't end up homeless or otherwise in major trouble? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 28, 2013 - 10 answers

How do I cope with the loss of my first love after 8 months of marriage?

I dated my first love for 2-1/2 years and then we got married. She was my first girlfriend and I was her first boyfriend. She asked for a divorce about a month ago. How do I cope? Please see the extended explanation for specific questions. [more inside]
posted by speedoavenger on May 27, 2013 - 22 answers

Buddhism for Beginners.

I'm in the midst of a terrible months-long depression and a friend of mine recommended I look into Buddhism. I'm willing to try anything, but I have no idea where to start and the Buddhist literature is pretty overwhelming. Buddhist MeFites, extend to me your enlightened hands and tell me what books to read, websites to check out, etc.
posted by ScarletSpectrum on May 27, 2013 - 37 answers

Keeping post-J.D. hopelessness at bay?

I graduated from law school this month. I got great grades, and have a good job lined up that will keep me busy for three years after the bar exam and before entering law firm life. The problem is that I'm the new cliche: I have accumulated close to $250,000 in educational debt through undergrad and grad school and I don't want to be a lawyer. At all. Blizzard to follow. [more inside]
posted by sevensnowflakes on May 26, 2013 - 30 answers

Trying to find a depression era recipe- hot ice cream

My grandfather grew up an orphan around the turn of the century and remained very poor as long as I knew him. He made us something called "hot ice cream". I think it had milk, and vanilla, food coloring and corn starch. I have googled but am not getting very far. Can anyone help with this recipe?
posted by beccaj on May 25, 2013 - 12 answers

Dealing with the after effects of a sudden seizure

I had a seizure on Monday. Is it normal for your emotions to be affected afterwards and what can I do to remain calm and not panic until the results of a CT scan come back? [more inside]
posted by kanata on May 22, 2013 - 8 answers

Is this legit or a bunch of hooey?

Can anyone tell me if Audio Visual Entrainment (AVE) actually does anything? Does it actually help with depression/anxiety, or is it all just a bunch of hooey? Is it worth the money?
posted by PuppetMcSockerson on May 22, 2013 - 12 answers

Going to the mental health clinic, what can I expect in the time ahead?

I made an appointment at a local clinic. Assuming things start well (right Dr.+ right drugs). What can I expect 2-3 years down the road? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2013 - 4 answers

Dating and OKCupid as a childfree loner

I'm childfree, meaning I don't have kids and don't want them. I'm also on the far end of the loner scale. I have some questions about finding a partner and using OKCupid to do it. [more inside]
posted by moonlit walk on the sun on May 19, 2013 - 48 answers

Depressed father, mother miserable too - what can we adult children do?

My dad, in his 60s, seems to be depressed. He is deeply unhappy and anxious, and he's also become angry and bitter to the point of a total personality change, mostly with my mum. She is miserable, and me and my siblings are so worried about both of them, especially because Dad refuses to get any help or even have a conversation about this. What, if anything, can we do here? [more inside]
posted by smockpuppet on May 18, 2013 - 11 answers

How do I speed myself up without a nervous breakdown?

Just started a new job that moves way faster than me. I'm scared that I can't keep up. What can I do to make it work? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2013 - 26 answers

CBT headshrinkers in Pittsburgh

Can you offer any recommendations for CBT-centered therapists in and around the Pittsburgh area, ideally east end? I'm looking for a CBT psychologist to provide therapy in conjunction with meds. [more inside]
posted by woolly on May 14, 2013 - 1 answer

Psych meds: taking my doctor at face value

My pdoc wants to decrease the dosage of a medication that has proven to work well for me, while increasing the dosage of an expensive designer drug that the jury is still out on. I'm skeptical. [more inside]
posted by mirepoix on May 14, 2013 - 27 answers

How can I benefit from a therapist who doesn't seem very smart?

I've been struggling with mild depression for a long time. I think therapy is probably a good idea for someone like me, but I've been unable to find a therapist I really respect. I've tried seven different therapists (one I stuck with for a couple years), but none have seemed very insightful or helpful. I'm feeling like I should try again (my wife definitely wants me to). Do I just have to be willing to try a dozen therapists until I find the "right" one? (That seems really daunting.) Or is there maybe some way I can better benefit from a therapist who doesn't seem very insightful? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2013 - 26 answers

Self-soothing or opting out?

When is it a good idea to cancel trips/plans when you're feeling badly? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on May 10, 2013 - 16 answers

I need help finding motivation to study when I can barely get out of bed

How do I get the motivation to ace my college finals while dealing with depression? [more inside]
posted by Hey Judas! on May 8, 2013 - 20 answers

Big life changes and feeling unsettled

Do I need professional help or just time? I've been feeling anxious and stressed for the past three months, and I'm having a hard time parsing if this is due to this being an exceptionally...erm...challenging point in my life or if some sort of anxiety or depression has settled on me. [more inside]
posted by brambory on May 6, 2013 - 8 answers

I have no idea how to get past the honeymoon period. It's killing me.

I have a history of romantic involvements that usually never get past three or four months (with a single exception that went on for 3.5 years). This didn't used to bother me so much, but it's now starting to make me ridiculously sad. I'm 30. How can I learn to hold someone's interest in me and/or choose better? Sorry for the book below, and thanks for any suggestions. [more inside]
posted by oogenesis on May 2, 2013 - 34 answers

What do I do with these very, very strong feelings?

I just had a weekend (non-adulterous) affair with someone who lives halfway across the country. It went well, incredibly well, so well, and now she has gone back home and I am experiencing a massive onslaught of feelings and I am not sure how to proceed and maintain my sanity. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by My Famous Mistake on Apr 30, 2013 - 13 answers

Help me have a higher quality of life living with the parents this time!

Two nights from now I will be back living with the parents on the other end of the country. Help me turn this into a positive experience. What worked for you? [more inside]
posted by signondiego on Apr 29, 2013 - 9 answers

Look at the chimneys?

Looking for a design project: A few years ago I saw a design project where someone made a set of black and white business cards or similar, that told people to look up at chimneys/roofs when they were down, as the light stimulated some sort of happy-chemical. But now I can't find it! [more inside]
posted by teststrip on Apr 29, 2013 - 1 answer

Accepting bipolar

How do you get used to yourself as bipolar (II)? Trying to understand my lows and mixed highs better, but find myself slipping into despair. [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on Apr 28, 2013 - 11 answers

Going Home to Toxic Family--How to deal? Help me help Mom!

I am currently finishing up my exchange in France where I've had awesome experiences and faced life-changing learning curves. Now I'm returning home to my extremely estranged parents who have been fighting all my life--deep, disgusting trenches of arguments that seem never-ending. [more inside]
posted by rhythm_queen on Apr 28, 2013 - 48 answers

How Can I Help My Mom Help Herself?

Hey Mefites, here's my question: My younger sister, mother, and I suffered years of abuse at the hands of an alcoholic stepfather - physical, verbal, etc. When we were younger, my sister and I were absolutely focused on getting the fuck out and did, getting scholarships to great schools, thankfully. My mom, not so much. She is no longer in a relationship with him, but they have been living together for economic reasons - she needs his disability paycheck to pay the bills (all of which are in her name, including the mortgage payment.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 19, 2013 - 15 answers

Keep calm and carry on?

I'm going through a bout of depression and while it isn't affecting my work, it is affecting how I behave at work. I realised today that some of my colleagues have picked up on this change in behaviour. How can I maintain my dignity and privacy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 19, 2013 - 7 answers

Hand Surgery Part Two?

About 8 weeks ago I sliced the flexor profundus tendon that allows the tip of my right pinky to function. I had surgery and have now subsequently re-severed the healing tendon, requiring ANOTHER round of surgery to try to repair again. Should I go through with this? Issues related to post-operative depression, unemployment, and general existentialist angst inside. See previous. [more inside]
posted by jnnla on Apr 16, 2013 - 11 answers

Could my ADHD diagnosis be wrong? Or be expanded?

Hi. I'll try and cut a long story short, about 6 month ago I've been diagnosed with ADHD and now I'm doubting my diagnosis. (more down there, all sappy again) [more inside]
posted by ahtlast93 on Apr 16, 2013 - 12 answers

Gender confusion at 30-something

Becoming suddenly gender-confused at age 35, this is weird, please help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 14, 2013 - 14 answers

How can I tell the difference between depression and plain old laziness?

What is it like to be lazy or whiny but NOT depressed? Please share your stories of irresponsible laid back behavior so we depressives can finally see the difference. [more inside]
posted by iamleda on Apr 11, 2013 - 38 answers

Help fix my crazy

What techniques can I employ to help deal with crippling anxiety and bug-phobic behaviors until I can afford regular therapy appointments? Ugly details inside - apologies for the length. [more inside]
posted by woolly on Apr 10, 2013 - 16 answers

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