108 posts tagged with decisions.
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What would you do in my situation (regarding career and life decisions)?

It seems for years I have been unhappy because I have a lot of drive to do something with my life, but for the love of God I just can't settle into a direction. I am currently in university taking a pre-masters to go into urban planning but I just feel like I don't really know what I'm doing or if I will like it. I am curious if others have been in a similiar situation before and if so how did they find their way? Also if you could read my extended explanation and tell me what you would do in my situation or offer any advice I would love to hear it. [more inside]
posted by oracleia on Sep 8, 2016 - 16 answers

Distinguishing right vs wrong vs right for me

Wouldn't you know, therapy has revealed that I am very much a people pleaser and I think it's slightly harming me. Now that I am right in the middle of a confusing dating situation and stressed from school, I'm not sure how to figure what's good for me--not others. [more inside]
posted by socky bottoms on Aug 16, 2016 - 16 answers

two events on same day, wedding or baseball game

should my son attend the game or wedding? [more inside]
posted by any major dude on Jul 8, 2016 - 65 answers

How to start doing literally anything.

The past two years have been pretty damn rough for me, but I feel like I'm ready to start being an adult again. Indecisiveness has turned me into a stagnant recluse and I simply can't live like this any longer. The problem is that I don't know where to start, so that's why I'm here. [more inside]
posted by omgkinky on Apr 10, 2016 - 35 answers

How do we decide whether to move back?

Two Canadians, living in Australia for the last several years. We've built a good life here, but are constantly homesick. We both go through periods of wanting to move back, but hesitate as soon as we need to make an actual decision. Have you been through this? We need your guidance. [more inside]
posted by third word on a random page on Jan 6, 2016 - 15 answers

Unhelpful feelings of guilt around business decisions

How to sit with discomfort (and you know... get some sleep) after making decisions that put my financial needs first? [more inside]
posted by lifethatihavenotlivedyet on Dec 29, 2015 - 12 answers

What are some Tips & Tricks for making big decisions?

I'm at some major crossroads and need to make a big decision. Got any decision making strategies? [more inside]
posted by mannermode on Dec 14, 2015 - 23 answers

help! should I drop out of my MFA writing program?

I started a MFA writing program in Vancouver this fall. I wasn't sure about whether I should go or not to begin with, and now, I'm still second-guess and worrying I made a big mistake. I'm unhappy, often, and I'm worried that if I stay it will be for the wrong reasons: a big, heavy sunken cost fallacy. Can you help, please? Long complicated backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2015 - 19 answers

In matters of love, do you let the head rule over the heart?

In a relationship that is heading towards marriage, how do you decide on how much to compromise on? Does being practical trump being emotional when in a relationship? How do you make big life decisions? [more inside]
posted by rippersid on Nov 3, 2015 - 83 answers

Thinking of moving to Charlotte from Hudson Valley NY

Wrestling with whether or not to move to Charlotte. I'd appreciate feedback on Charlotte as well as making such a huge decision as moving in general. [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Oct 25, 2015 - 15 answers

Editor-in-Chief: Should I take the job?

Hi, Ok here's my situation. Last year around this time I was diagnosed with bipolar. I lost my job, my apartment, everything. I was living several states away and I had to move home to live with my grandparents. When I arrived back home, I contacted one of my old employers who let me come back on part time as a writer and photographer. I love the job!! It gave me so much of my confidence back. However, it's only part time so the only reason I could afford to work there is bc my grandparents did not charge me for rent or food. I am 30, by the way. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Oct 19, 2015 - 19 answers

The rent is already too damn high. So I should pay MORE, right?

My 2BR 1BA apartment is 50% of my take home pay now. Please help me decide if I should move to an even more expensive place. Wall of informative text inside. My lease is not up until March, so I have some time to think through this. [more inside]
posted by SockPuppetOfShame on Oct 16, 2015 - 31 answers

Remedial economic theory

I've had this concept in my head that I'm pretty sure I picked up in economics/management studies but I can't recall its name: The division of labor between an executive and her direct support staff is that staff can advise the executive about decisions to make, but ultimately she makes the decision and they then have to carry out that directive or policy (regardless of whether it's justified in their opinion). I had assumed I was thinking of the principal-agent problem, but that's clearly something else. What is this concept called?
posted by psoas on Oct 14, 2015 - 6 answers

Compromise... how does that work?

I am madly in love with my boyfriend and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But I also desperately miss being single and only being responsible to and for myself. I'm not sure how to cope with this; I don't know whether it's going to get better on its own as we get better at communicating with each other, whether I'm just going to gradually get used to the status quo, or whether I need to mourn that loss of independence and move on with my (generally pretty great) new life (maybe all three). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2015 - 16 answers

Making BIG life decisions unhaphazardly

How do you make prudent, life-altering decisions (specifically, on to stay or move) with your significant other when you have somewhat differing priorities? Can you describe or point us to a process that could provide you a sound, good-for-the-relationship-and-good-for-the-individual's decision? What has worked for you in making the decision? Maybe more importantly, how have you managed the anxiety around making the "right" decision? [more inside]
posted by sandmanwv on Sep 22, 2015 - 13 answers

How to choose between several internship options in a graduate program

I am currently doing a two-year M.A. program at a European university, and soon I have to choose between three options for a 10-week internship to begin next quarter. I want to choose the internship that will best set me up to be a competitive Ph.D. candidate, but it's hard to make a decision between options that each have their own pros and cons. What criteria should I use or what aspects of the programs should I give the most weight to when making this decision? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 21, 2015 - 1 answer

should I stay or should I go

My cousin is getting married abroad, and I don't want to go. I can't come to a decision. It's not a big financial/time strain, but I don't want to go, and don't know how to respond. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2015 - 32 answers

Should I stay in retail or go back to school and pursue a dream?

I've been sucked into retail and have put my education on hold due to a lack of certainty on a major. I had tried three different programs, but an impractical dream sits in the back of my mind that I have never even attempted. Do I give up good money in the interim for long term fulfilment with a risk? [more inside]
posted by Chelsaroo650 on Apr 13, 2015 - 26 answers

Would you rather...?

I'm not sure which I would rather as far as living situations, so I would like to gather opinions on it. [more inside]
posted by buttonedup on Mar 30, 2015 - 24 answers

Should I stay or should I go?

Tonight, my husband again stated that he is unwilling to change things that are negatively impacting our marriage. I'm looking for resources that will help me determine if I should try to fix this or walk away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2015 - 28 answers

Buying duplicates/multiples - when is it a good idea and when isn't it?

I often obsess in my head about how many of X item I should buy at a time. What is your process for deciding this with maximum end satisfaction for any given category? [more inside]
posted by vegartanipla on Nov 29, 2014 - 16 answers

How to pick a therapist to help my anxiety (before pregnancy/parenting)

How do I pick the right therapist to help with my anxiety, stress, indecisiveness, and perfectionist tendencies? What kinds of therapy/techniques/approaches might be most helpful? How do I quickly assess whether to stick with someone or look elsewhere? What are reasonable expectations of how much I can improve in therapy and how quickly? I'm terrible at making decisions-- I need help! (Especially since we want to start trying for kids in a few months so I feel real urgency to make progress quickly to feel comfortable going ahead, for both my and the kid's sake.) DC-area, FYI. [more inside]
posted by SockHop on Nov 24, 2014 - 4 answers

Managing relationship doubts while depressed

I've been with my girlfriend for 5+ years, and lived together for 4. We've moved around the country together, adopted a pet together, and spent a lot of time thinking about/planning our next move together (we've moved around a lot, most recently so she could go to school). Lately, though, I've had significant, plaguing doubts about whether we should be together, and I'm having trouble parsing what's really going on. [more inside]
posted by batscam on Nov 16, 2014 - 14 answers

Decision framework for a tough career decision

I've been freelancing for the last year, but expecting a job offer in the next few days. I am genuinely torn abut whether I want to accept. I go back and forth daily. Yesterday I was pretty strongly leaning towards taking it. Today the idea depresses me. I'd appreciate your recommendations on tools to help me make this decisions. Snowflakes follow... [more inside]
posted by dry white toast on Oct 28, 2014 - 6 answers

Help my wife choose a career

Since leaving university a few years ago with a humanities degree (human geography with Spanish), my wife's mostly worked as a temp in an admin position for the same company. Her plan was to do this while deciding what she really wanted to do; two years later, and she's still no closer to making any decisions but as dissatisfied with her current work as ever... [more inside]
posted by jonrob on Oct 11, 2014 - 10 answers

Historical situations where the seemingly right choice was very wrong

I'm looking for historical/political situations or decisions that made perfect, logical sense at the time but in retrospect seem terribly misguided or worse. These should be situations that when presented very simply, it is clear and easy to say, "Obviously XYZ is the right choice " but where in fact XYZ ends up being an awful choice. Example and further details inside. [more inside]
posted by _DB_ on Oct 9, 2014 - 43 answers

How true is this, really?

In your personal experience, how true are quotes like these? "In the end, we only regret the chances we did not take" or "Regret for the things we have done will be tempered by time. It is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Sep 16, 2014 - 34 answers

Should I study to become a cranial osteopath?

I am not sure if I should spend 4 or 5 years training to be an osteopath in London, which is where I live, or if I should give up this idea completely. I've been thinking about becoming an osteopath for a while now, but I am 23 which means I will be at least 27 by the time I finish, which is quite late, plus will be significantly poorer. There are other things to take into consideration, explained more in detail inside. [more inside]
posted by akita on Sep 16, 2014 - 14 answers

I got an offer for a dream job. Help me decide if I should take it.

This was me. Following the advice from that question I both renewed my contract with current company and actively started looking elsewhere. I've just received an enthusiastic offer from another company, but I want to be mindful about my next step. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 9, 2014 - 18 answers

How do I get better at / get over anxiety making small decisions?

I agonize over making small decisions (what should I eat for lunch, should I start a new series or re watch an old favorite). When information is available I will spend an hour or so researching before I decide (Yelp). When information is not available I will put off the decision. It's getting worse and I'm unhappy living life paralyzed. [more inside]
posted by puertosurf on Jul 1, 2014 - 15 answers

Which treatment option should I choose?

I have trigeminal neuralgia, aka "the suicide disease." Good times! I've been given four treatment options: lifelong heavy-duty medication, having a needle stuck into my face with a few months' relief, CyberKnife radiology, or microvascular decompression surgery. Which should I choose? How do I even approach this decision? Difficulty level: I want to get pregnant, but I don't know when. [more inside]
posted by mynameisluka on Jun 22, 2014 - 19 answers

To IVF or not IVF

I'm conflicted about using IVF to conceive, but at this point it's my only option. I have severe endometriosis and the eggs reserve of someone close to 40 (I've just turned 35). I've been trying to conceive for 19 months and have done everything except IVF. How do I decide what to do? [more inside]
posted by purple24 on Jun 19, 2014 - 17 answers

How do I stop taking others' decisions as an indictment of my own?

I seem to have this problem where I will get worked up, disappointed, upset, and distressed--a combination of all four--whenever someone makes a decision that is wholly unrelated to me but is a different one than I would have made. It has moved beyond someone being wrong on the Internet over the past few years and is really starting to drive me bonkers. Do you, denizens of the green, have any advice for changing my behavior? [more inside]
posted by fireoyster on Jun 17, 2014 - 12 answers

Anxiety and Fear-Based Decisions

Yes, another anxiety-related question from me. I'm sorry. I'm currently in the throes of a possible breakup, and I've recently realized that I'm making far too many decisions based on fear - fear of having a panic attack, fear of getting sick, fear of having needs. This has damaged my relationship. I need to stop this behavior, but I'm not sure how to do so without becoming non-functional from the resulting anxiety. [more inside]
posted by msbadcrumble on May 30, 2014 - 8 answers

In a relationship, in love with a friend, need to make some decisions

I’m in a stable and loving relationship that is approaching the deadline for commitment. I’ve had strong feelings for someone else for a long time, which I’ve managed to control, but have recently resurfaced with a vengeance, and are making me seriously question whether to commit. Help! [more inside]
posted by ashkenazy on May 27, 2014 - 33 answers

Istanbul versus Berlin

I've been accepted to two summer programs in two great cities! I am indecisive and have only a few more days to decide which travel grant to accept. [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Apr 26, 2014 - 20 answers

Switching MA programs

I'm finishing my second semester of a MA program, and am realizing that I am not happy in this program and (most importantly) it isn't fulfilling my academic and professional needs. I have identified another MA program which I know would be a good fit for me, and am considering switching. Assuming money is no object here, would I be crazy to make the switch? [more inside]
posted by schroedingersgirl on Mar 31, 2014 - 7 answers

Help! Which entry level job should I take?

In looking for entry-level work, I interviewed for a ton of positions, and somehow have gotten myself into the spot of being hired for 3 places all at once. Need advice ASAP as two of them want me to start as soon as tomorrow! [more inside]
posted by stockpuppet on Jan 29, 2014 - 17 answers

How do I decide if I want us to have a baby?

I'm having a difficult time deciding whether I want my wife and I to get pregnant. She is very into it, but I have mixed feelings. How do I decide if I'm ready? [more inside]
posted by jsharke on Jan 14, 2014 - 60 answers

How do you make life-changing decisions?

How do you go about making huge decisions that will significantly impact every aspect of your life? Is there a system or method for doing this well? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 6, 2014 - 34 answers

My partner has a child, he's feuding with the mother, I can't handle it

I'm stuck in the town where I just finished university, because I'm engaged to Jake, who has a child here, Finn. Jake had Finn with Kaitlyn when she was 16 and he was 18. Finn is now 4. I could move anywhere I want and make a living. I'm happy with Jake, but I'm unhappy with life as a whole, depressed, have low self-esteem. Jake has only limited contact rights to his son and a whole lot of trouble with Kaitlyn, who hates me. We live together and I am the sole-earner in this household, in the awful UK economy. I haven't left the house all year, I've just been working yet I'm still in debt and I want to get away. On the other hand I love Jake, we have so much in common and we never even argue, even though the year that we've been together life has been very difficult. We really love and respect each other. I have great hope in him, I'm excited to meet his son and I think we could make a life together. Except it would all take years. And I'm at the end of my tether and want to leave now. [more inside]
posted by mangoprawn on Oct 29, 2013 - 72 answers

The pro/con list just isn't cutting it

I have an amazing-on-paper/tough-in-reality job, and now an offer for a new position that is a total unknown. I am panicking about this decision. [more inside]
posted by sabotagerabbit on Oct 20, 2013 - 17 answers

Was I sexually violated?

Was I sexually violated? I keep obsessing about this, I don't know if the other parties care or have declared me a pariah [more inside]
posted by Jewel98 on Oct 6, 2013 - 42 answers

Wondering if I should go back to college

I had a talk with my gf who recently dumped me. She told me that she needed to be with someone with similar life experiences as hers. School is a big part of her life, and she is working toward a degree in medicine as well as an MBA (she already has another master's in biology). I'm 28, and at one point in my life I was very bent on finishing college, but till now I haven't been able to because of circumstances in my life. What she said made me think about my decision to postpone college for now. I have a writing business that is just now getting off the ground. I haven't even earned a two-year degree, but it hasn't stopped me from utilizing my writing talents to make a living. On the other hand though, going back to school would help me a lot in the long run to gain expertise and credibility in the fields i write in. [more inside]
posted by Cybria on Aug 4, 2013 - 18 answers

Seeing a way out of this affair.

I am involved in a messy, emotionally exhausting affair that feels like it's getting to a fork in the road. Can you help with a roadmap? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2013 - 45 answers

One job offer in the hand is worth two in the bush?

Should I take a job I don't really want, or pass it up in the *hope* that my old work hires me back in a month or two? [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Jun 26, 2013 - 19 answers

Decisions, decisions...

How can I avoid analysis paralysis in decision-making and pick what's "right for me" more consistently? How can I minimize regret? [more inside]
posted by Seeking Direction on Mar 4, 2013 - 25 answers

Is this friendship worth saving?

I have a problem. I have a friend. They're mutually inclusive. Let's call him Greg. [more inside]
posted by piratesriding on Feb 21, 2013 - 32 answers

Can I have the life I want and also have kids?

If I become a parent, I don't want to be a typical one. I also don't want to be anything like my own parents. How do you maintain your own life? What are some movies/TV shows/books/memoirs can help me get a feel for how non-stereotypical-suburban-American people treat their kids? [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Dec 7, 2012 - 51 answers

Selfish or selfless? I can't tell.

I'm ready to leave my unhappy, borderline-abusive, caretaker-y marriage (details in a series of posts, most recently here). Do I just wait until I've got all my ducks in a row and then go, or should I be kinder, and give my spouse some kind of notice period. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Nov 23, 2012 - 69 answers

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