Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with deceased

Cosmetology for dead people.

MaryDellamorte — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:45:58 -0800

Are you a mortuary makeup artist or know someone that is? I'm not trying to hastily make a job change, but I've always been interested in this and wanted to know more about it. What kind of schooling is necessary? How much does the schooling cost? How much do they make? What's the proper title for a mortuary makeup artist? I read an interview here which was somewhat informative but I want to know more.

Finding "hidden" things.

joshgates — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 19:37:18 -0800

How do you locate the safety deposit box and 401k/IRA of a deceased relative who you've had little contact with lately? The situation is a bit unusual and since I'm having trouble coming up with the answers on my own, I thought I'd query the hivemind.

A few years ago my parents got a divorce, my dad took it particularly hard to the point where he pushed away anyone that he had contact with, including his family, and moved to China. A couple weeks ago he passed away over there from a sudden illness and I've been busy with making arrangements for what needs to be done.

Tonight I was going back through the few emails we'd sent to each other over the last couple years and in several of them he'd referenced a safety deposit box and a 401k plan that he'd rolled over into another one to keep away from my mother. I suspect that he'd actually put it into an IRA as at the time he didn't have a job that offered a 401k.

The only idea that I've been able to come up with is to call all the banks in the area and inquire. I'm quite willing to do that should no other options be available.

Any suggestions and ideas are much appreciated.

As a side note, a few months ago he actually remarried, his wife is unable to get a visa to come back over to the US and I'm not sure how that'd affect things.

Dead Letter Office

Shepherd — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:01:47 -0800

What happens when I tell catalogue people I am dead? Somehow -- I suspect it was the Folio Society, because it seems to be mostly book companies, British culture companies and classical music clubs -- my name and address has been sold to a list mill. This is addressed mail, not "Occupant" or "Current Resident" mail.

Conventional Internet spam wisdom is "never tell them you don't want their catalogue, because that just confirms the address is valid and raises your spam value rating." Does the same apply to junk mail?

And if so, what's the best way of dealing with it? I have considered drawing a line through the address and putting "UNSOLICITED" on the mail, then leaving it sticking out of the mailbox for the postal person to return to sender, but I'm worried that that's not a recognized reason to send mail back. "DECEASED" is more fun (and kind of cool), but I'm concerned that it, along with "NOT AT THIS ADDRESS," will result in the post office proper thinking I am dead/no longer resident and bouncing legitimate mail. My name, in theory, becomes valueless and is removed from lists (rather than becoming confirmed and therefore more valuable).

I am in Canada, and we do not have an equivalent to the options listed here. I think nipping this in the bud, and telling these companies I am "dead," either by "DECEASED: RETURN TO SENDER" post or by calling their 1-800 numbers, is the best method of getting my name conclusively removed from their lists, because dead people generally do not purchase things by mail order or otherwise.

But are there ramifications to being catalogue-dead that I am not considering?

Proper title for a deceased, retired officer

Mr Stickfigure — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 13:07:50 -0800

All my life he's been "Col. (Ret.) G. P. Stickfigure". He passed away this week and I don't know if/how etiquette changes a proper address. As long as I can remember, I've addressed letters to my grandpa with the above title.
While still in the service he was known for being a stickler for precisely following the rules.

Now, I find myself preparing a display for his funeral service and not knowing whether that would still be an appropriate designation. Does anybody know whether there is a rule governing this?

Do you have to make mortgage payments for the deceased?

salvia — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 18:49:19 -0800

Someone died. Does her family have to keep paying the mortgage payments? Does interest keep accruing? Can they rent it out during this period? There was no will. (This is in California.) The "can they rent it out" part becomes more crucial since they wouldn't mind keeping the house as an investment property, or at least holding it until the market strengthens. But getting their own mortgage for the property is only going to get harder (and ultimately be more burdensome) the more unpaid interest gets tacked on to what is owed. The house was bought fairly recently, and since it's not clear just how bad the market is now, it's not clear what profit (if any) would come from the sale of the house at this point. Could they stall until the market solidifies?

Though there was no will, no one is going to contest who should be the executor/administrator of the estate or who should inherit the property.

I would also appreciate any "simple guide to probate in California"-type resources. I've been even thinking about finding some law-school-cramming book. (The BarBri property guide?) They're going to hire a lawyer but it's going to take a couple weeks to do that.

(You would think this would be an easy question to Google, but "get a mortgage in Death Valley!" has been the least of my search result problems.)

SS#s of those passed on?

attercoppe — Wed, 02 Nov 2005 21:53:25 -0800

How would one go about finding out the Social Security number of a deceased relative? This is for a co-worker of mine, whom I'll call Wendy. Wendy's father passed away about seven years ago. Wendy's mother, in her mid-sixties at the time, has since remarried. She has just recently learned (from the SSA) that she is eligible to draw on her former husband's Social Security benefits, but first she needs to fill out the appropriate paperwork. Neither Wendy, her sister, nor their mother has any record of the father's Social Security number. The sister did his final income tax returns, but has since lost them. They have his military discharge papers, but they do not include his SS#. How else can they obtain his number, and who must make the request?

My thoughts so far: the SSA, the IRS, former employers, other military records, bank records, property titles. I'd like suggestions (thoughts/opinions) or instructions ("I've done this before"). Thanks.