My mother has been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. She has decided to stop treatment as chemotherapy is not working and surgery/radiation is not an option. The oncologist estimates she has about one month left.
I have the option of taking FMLA and spending all of my time with her during her last days if I want. But I am not sure that would be the healthiest option for me.
My mother says just take a day or two a week and try to live as normal a life as possible. But I feel selfish living my life while she is dying.
Any one ever have a similar experience?
posted by burlsube
on Jul 9, 2009 -
36 answers
how do i prepare for the death of my mother?... for which i am completely, utterly, unprepared.... more inside...
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posted by unlucky.lisp
on Jul 7, 2009 -
24 answers
What steps do I have to take to ensure I do not inherit anything from my family's estate, even if I'm included in the will?
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posted by medea42
on Jul 1, 2009 -
17 answers
I just found out yesterday that someone that I cared very deeply for died a few years ago from an overdose of heroin. I have a few questions regarding the nature of his death and etiquette surrounding contacting his family.
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posted by zerokey
on Jun 26, 2009 -
15 answers
After a murder or sudden death, do the deceased's family members really have to go down to the morgue to "identify the body" or is this just a dramatic construct of movies and television?
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posted by hamsterdam
on Jun 26, 2009 -
25 answers
My grandmother's doctor just phone and used the words "Necrotic tissue". I'm now crapping myself. Should I be...?
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posted by twine42
on Jun 23, 2009 -
7 answers
Has there ever been a documented case of death by drowning in yogurt?
posted by boots
on Jun 18, 2009 -
3 answers
I believe an online friend may have died, but I am not sure. I know relatively few details, but I am wondering if there is some sort of obituary or death record search I could use to confirm my suspicion.
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posted by liesbyomission
on Jun 9, 2009 -
11 answers
We've come into a situation where we will need hospice care soon. What hospice do you recommend in the Tulsa, OK area?
posted by drleary
on May 25, 2009 -
3 answers
Searching for short poetry (or prose?) appropriate to send 2 close friends who have had sudden family deaths shake their foundations.
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posted by malibustacey9999
on May 20, 2009 -
19 answers
I remember a year ago this strange, japanese video on youtube that featured mega man dying. It was all him dying of the stupidest things, all the ways you can die and some stuff added from the "otaku" scene or whatever.
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posted by PowerCat
on May 20, 2009 -
5 answers
What might have caused black spots to form and grow on my mother-in-law's eyes as she was dying from pancreatic cancer and the inevitable infections that go along with cancer and its treatment? I'm hoping someone with a similar experience or someone in the medical field might be able to tell us something that the doctors here couldn't.
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posted by ElDiabloConQueso
on May 14, 2009 -
4 answers
A seemingly clean-cut friend died last week, evidently from alcoholism-related causes. Should I tell everyone what happened?
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posted by rhizome
on May 12, 2009 -
25 answers
What do I need to know to become a coffin builder? Are there regulations I have to follow? How should I sell them? How much should they cost?
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posted by davey_darling
on May 7, 2009 -
20 answers
Does someone with a dying relative better understand what someone who has lost a relative is going through? Explanation inside.
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posted by anonymous
on May 4, 2009 -
12 answers
Say one wanted to have their skeleton preserved and mounted and left to your next of kin after death how would you do it? -rather gruesome details inside -
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posted by strixus
on Apr 30, 2009 -
19 answers
Are global birth and death rates roughly consistent over the course of a day/month/year? (Are there are any clear patterns of daily or seasonal spikes?)
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posted by kalapierson
on Apr 30, 2009 -
5 answers
I'm getting a Blue Screen of Death on startup (Windows XP Pro) which says that the "problem" (whatever it may be) is being caused by a file called klif.sys. Googling around indicates it's a Kaspersky file, and I do indeed have their anti-virus software installed on my system. But I haven't found any solutions, and I can't get past this BSOD. Is there any hope for me? (More details inside.)
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posted by DavidNYC
on Apr 22, 2009 -
17 answers
My uncle has one week to live. I'm visiting him tomorrow. What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to do?
posted by jennyhead
on Apr 21, 2009 -
19 answers
In the past few months, both parents of my Japanese-American (by way of Hawaii) coworker have passed away. What gift/donation might be appropriate and have special significance to her?
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posted by acorn1515
on Mar 24, 2009 -
7 answers
Coming-of-age Filter: My world is coming crashing down. Is this a sign? Should I just soldier on? How? Trying to be a rock-em sock-em robot and get back on the horse. Details inside.
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posted by big open mouth
on Mar 11, 2009 -
37 answers
Someone close to me recently passed away. For the most part I'm okay, but what stops me in my tracks is the idea that there may not be an afterlife. How do I come to terms with this?
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posted by Metroid Baby
on Mar 3, 2009 -
41 answers
While searching for an old friend on Facebook, I found out that he had died a year ago, "unexpectedly at home." Usually that means something bad. What's an appropriate response given that amount of time? Should I follow-try to contact his wife, whom I never met?
posted by Xurando
on Feb 22, 2009 -
43 answers
How do I simultaneously save my personal and professional life in this time of grief over my father's two year anniversary? Is this grief even "real" so to speak, or an excuse to explain some other issue(s)?
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posted by fiasco
on Feb 19, 2009 -
13 answers
Marriage Madness: Is it better to be single or to waste away in a bad marriage? (long, but uniquely personal details inside)
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posted by brandnew
on Feb 16, 2009 -
61 answers
Cousin Zach is a sweetheart, but I don't have the time or inclincation to attend everything he invites us to. How to say no tactfully? Guilt is involved.
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posted by frosty_hut
on Jan 27, 2009 -
21 answers
Sort of like a question I asked before, but not quite as whimsical. I've reached the end of the lease with the apartment my wife and I live in. It's up as of February 1st and that's perfect, because we'd like to be out by then. The problem is that they're asking for a 60 day written notice and we just gave them notice today. In the last 7 days, Mrs. Bageena's father died and while we were out of town for the funeral, someone broke into our apartment and robbed us.
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posted by Bageena
on Jan 19, 2009 -
12 answers
My roommate's boyfriend just died. My other roommates and I want to do something for her, but we are drawing a blank.
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posted by firei
on Jan 14, 2009 -
24 answers
Ice falling from tall buildings filter. Help me lay to rest a question that has plagued my wife. We live in Chicago, with lots of tall buildings. Ice falls off of the buildings from time to time and about once a year, some poor bastard gets mushed. Where in terms of physics and I suppose statistics would be the safest place to walk down the sidewalk: as close to the building as possible? The middle of the sidewalk? The far edge? Does it depend on building height?
posted by Ponderance
on Jan 7, 2009 -
16 answers
On one of the last pages of
The Trial of Elizabeth Cree, the following statement about death is attributed to Karl Marx: “When it is all over, we shall hold hands and begin again from the beginning.” I love the sentiment of this statement, but I can’t find any other reference to it.
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posted by misanthropicsarah
on Jan 6, 2009 -
1 answer
Can someone explain why despite the fact that every one of these incidents occurs at a unique time and place, each involves a complex history of events and personal decisions leading to its very unlikely outcome, that the death toll on the roads year-on-year is so predictable? See
here and
here.
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posted by zaebiz
on Dec 28, 2008 -
47 answers
