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Where to scatter ashes

What do we do with our daughter's ashes? [more inside]
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér on Feb 27, 2012 - 16 answers

Alert the next of kin. And Netflix.

How do I make my passwords available to loved ones if I die suddenly, but keep them secure while I'm alive? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 22, 2012 - 25 answers

Documentaries, books, I want it all!

Please give me some suggestions for documentaries and books I might like. [more inside]
posted by PeppahCat on Feb 22, 2012 - 23 answers

Private death

An acquaintance from high school recently died at the age of 22. His family decided to keep the cause of death private. Help me out here -- why would they choose to do that? [more inside]
posted by victory_laser on Feb 20, 2012 - 64 answers

Wake or funeral?

Do you go to the wake or the funeral? [more inside]
posted by Sissinghurst on Feb 13, 2012 - 38 answers

In the case of a person dying for whatever reason, why does it take so long for toxicology analysis to be conducted and reports delivered?

Post mortem toxicology tests - why does it take so long for results to be delivered? [more inside]
posted by lampshade on Feb 13, 2012 - 9 answers

Celebrity culture and tragedy.

In the wake of Whitney Houston's death, I find myself thinking about the grotesque confluence of celebrity, addiction, mental illness and (frequently but not necessarily) death. I'd like to understand it better. Who has explored this thoughtfully, whether in essay, book, film, television, whatever?
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas on Feb 12, 2012 - 17 answers

A game about (your) death

Help me find the name of that brief interactive “game” where the narrator (speaking aloud, British I think) describes the actions of the player, marching us toward our inevitable demise… until we decide to disobey his narrative. [more inside]
posted by scamper on Feb 11, 2012 - 5 answers

My dog killed a cat; what to do?

My dog killed a cat in my yard. I have no idea where it came from, but suspect it is not wild. We are traumatized, what do we do? [more inside]
posted by butterstick on Feb 9, 2012 - 70 answers

Help me get over being excluded from my father's funeral.

My father passed away recently. We were estranged and I feel really strange about how his family handled his passing. I'm looking for advice about contacting them, or just leaving things be. Help! [more inside]
posted by carmenghia on Jan 24, 2012 - 25 answers

Medical bill debt, death and probate

News and debt filter: Can somebody tell me why it was necessary to have a fundraiser to pay US medical bills for a deceased person? In the USA, if you die with debts greater than the total sum of your assets, your estate is generally liquidated in probate, right? Medical debt collectors can't go after your family for debts they didn't incur... [more inside]
posted by thewalrus on Jan 23, 2012 - 11 answers

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dumpster

In the last year on our road into town in rural Vermont, we have seen the personal effects of 3 people who have recently died packed into dumpsters at the side of the road. In one case the family had a tag sale and sold all the valuable stuff (her crystal collection) and tossed the rest in the dumpster. For some reason this creeps me out big time and I don't want it to happen to me. Are there best practices for disposing of the personal effects of family members?How did your family dispose of the stuff of the deceased that you didn't want? Yes.... I know about a will and have one.
posted by Xurando on Jan 22, 2012 - 20 answers

. Little Granny

My grandmother is dying. She is on life support and will be taken off on Monday night. Should I take my 13 yo in to see her? [more inside]
posted by holdkris99 on Jan 20, 2012 - 74 answers

Buddhist way to honor a friend's death in Laos?

I'm in Luang Prabang, Laos right now and tomorrow is the one month anniversary of a friend's death. I would like to go to the temple and do something, but I'm not sure what the custom is. Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by hazyspring on Jan 4, 2012 - 3 answers

How bad is owning half a house?

What's the legal liability ramifications of owning half a house? (I already have a lawyer. I wanted a second/English opinion.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 28, 2011 - 17 answers

Do hearses make house calls?

In a small city in Illinois, last night we saw a hearse in the driveway of a neighbor down the block. No other cars, police, or activity were in evidence. We know this person is elderly, but we don't actually know her. Because I've seen a cab come to her house, I believe she doesn't drive, and I have seen a second, somewhat less elderly person come by and do yard work for her occasionally. This second person's car wasn't there last night either. We don't actually see our neighbor very often, especially in winter, so if she's still there, we might not see her in passing for a while. I was under the impression that if someone had died at their home, an ambulance would transport them; I don't think I've ever seen a hearse at a private home before. Was this the end for my neighbor, or did her hypothetical niece the hypothetical mortician pop in for supper in a company car or something? Anyone have any knowledge about hearse customs?
posted by Occula on Dec 27, 2011 - 13 answers

Life changes (and the associated paperwork)

Document checklist for a recently-married couple? What's crucial to get organized/updated in terms of legal/financial issues? [more inside]
posted by bitter-girl.com on Dec 27, 2011 - 6 answers

Bike and camping supplies in Las Veags?

I'm planning a trip do Death Valley in january and I'll be landing in Las Vegas where I'll spend the first day or two preparing, and I wonder if anyone has some recommendations for places where I can get the supplies I need. [more inside]
posted by tristpinsm on Dec 22, 2011 - 8 answers

Tips for a backpacking trip to death valley?

First time backcountry camping in the desert. I'll be biking and hiking. Any tips from people who've gone on similar trips? [more inside]
posted by tristpinsm on Dec 4, 2011 - 15 answers

My partner killed himself yesterday, i am still in shock and haven't told people. I don't know how to deal with this and need help

My partner killed himself yesterday, i am still in shock and haven't told people. I don't know how to deal with this and need help [more inside]
posted by servix on Nov 30, 2011 - 59 answers

Is it her? Is it not her? Is it sort-of her? What do we do?

My grandmother in the process of dying is suffering through a sudden dementia?... delirium?... from her medical condition that is causing her to be extremely belligerent and hurtful to those around her. We know this "isn't her," but we don't know what to do, what time to spend with her, what is going on. I'm looking for perspectives on this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 26, 2011 - 18 answers

I am losing everyone

TLDR: How can I keep from going off the deep end in light of repeated stressors over a compressed period of time? [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Nov 16, 2011 - 17 answers

You're gone and that's it.

My estranged ex-husband committed suicide a month ago. I am unsure about whether I need grief counseling or not or how much good it's going to do me. [more inside]
posted by asockpuppet on Nov 12, 2011 - 22 answers

Suspended in tribulation

Is it ok to take my unborn child to a death metal concert? [more inside]
posted by Maximian on Oct 25, 2011 - 35 answers

Need help with managing a memorial page on a Wordpress site.

I run a Worpress site, hosted by Dreamhost. We are about to make a memorial announcement. This will drive a lot of traffic to the site, including hundreds of comments and potentially thousands of hits. I am the only one who runs the site and I need to be prepared. What do I need to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 24, 2011 - 7 answers

Late Condolences?

Just found out that the child of a person I worked with (and was friends with through work) died two months ago. Should I contact them, or is it too late? [more inside]
posted by Hactar on Oct 19, 2011 - 14 answers

Attending a funeral of an estranged parent

My estranged father passed away. Should I attend his funeral? Lengthy, snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by kitkatcathy on Oct 14, 2011 - 35 answers

Does knowing the cause of death help in coping?

Why do I care so much to know the cause of my friend's recent, unexpected death? [more inside]
posted by cellojoe on Oct 10, 2011 - 14 answers

feeling responsible for a friend's death

How do you deal with suicide when you feel (or are made to feel) partially responsible? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Oct 9, 2011 - 27 answers

A merry question about funerals and late-stage Alzheimer's :(

How to handle the funeral/remberance of my father, with my mother who has late-stage Alzheimer's? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 2, 2011 - 14 answers

Babar, Mortality and Me

Which of the Babar books deal with death? This question stems from a childhood anecdote that goes a little something like this . . . [more inside]
posted by jason's_planet on Sep 27, 2011 - 7 answers

Death As It Truly Happens

What documentaries accurately depict the dying process? [more inside]
posted by dephlogisticated on Sep 24, 2011 - 11 answers

Sorry for the morbid question.

Hospice and palliative-care providers often tell patients' families and friends that as people die, hearing is the last sense to go. Is there any science behind the claim? [more inside]
posted by evidenceofabsence on Sep 23, 2011 - 10 answers

Electricity... so magical! So deadly!

Am I going to electrocute myself with my home extension cord repair? [more inside]
posted by amanda on Sep 22, 2011 - 21 answers

Reading List for True Blood Character - Life/Death/Spirituality

Give me a hypothetical reading list for Jesus Velasquez of True Blood. (Warning: True Blood finale SPOILERS inside.) [more inside]
posted by Dukat on Sep 12, 2011 - 3 answers

Feeling nostalgia for the present...

Of course all my hoping didn't work, and I'm ageing. The people I love also are, to my dismay. [more inside]
posted by Tarumba on Sep 7, 2011 - 65 answers

What songs are like Agalloch's "Ashes"?

Death MetalFilter: What songs are like Agalloch's "Ashes"? [more inside]
posted by Trurl on Sep 1, 2011 - 15 answers

Death in family – should I postpone my wedding?

We were going to elope to Las Vegas in less than two weeks, but my sister just passed away. I didn't have a close relationship with my sister. Is the timing of the wedding bad? [more inside]
posted by zosime on Aug 26, 2011 - 21 answers

Help me be a good friend to a grieving family in need, please.

A friend is about to pass away. Please help me be as supportive and helpful as possible for her husband and young daughter during the next few months. [more inside]
posted by zarq on Aug 23, 2011 - 26 answers

It wasn't really that nice knowing you...

How can I comfort the loved ones of a dying person I don't like? And the dying person themselves? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by katyggls on Aug 19, 2011 - 26 answers

Another moviefilter post - Telling the story of a life through the story of a journey.

Please help me find more movies about journeys leading to or because of a death. (I promise, my interest is not as morbid as it may first appear!) [more inside]
posted by royboy on Aug 15, 2011 - 43 answers

Death finances

URGENT!!! If two people have their name on a bank account and one of them dies, is it acceptable for the other person to continue writing cheques from that account? [more inside]
posted by wutangclan on Aug 6, 2011 - 24 answers

Future Circus Stunts

Could a running human perform the Wall of Death stunt without a motorcycle? [more inside]
posted by Tube on Jul 28, 2011 - 10 answers

Needing cold hard facts and logistics for after mom dies.

What happens and what to do when I hear my mom dies 1,500+ miles away. What will the landlord do in the short term? Where does her body go? What happens to the cat? The medical bills? How do I unload fine art? [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife on Jul 27, 2011 - 26 answers

support for boy whose mother died at childbirth

Does anyone know of a book or article that might be of help to a child and his family (he will soon be 12) whose mother died at childbirth. He is the nephew of a dear friend, the boy really values family and as he is maturing, realizes more and more, that each birthday also marks the anniversary date of his mothers' death. He is was adopted by a paternal aunt and is being raised in a loving family. If anyone has suggestions on how best to support the boy and his family, it is much appreciated. If anyone has first hand experience with this, your knowledge would be much appreciated. The issue is clearly much bigger than his birthday, but is there any way to help him emotionally to deal with this reality as he matures.
posted by jennstra on Jul 23, 2011 - 10 answers

lying is a sin, but it'll probably make them happy

My father unexpectedly passed away last weekend from a heart attack. I am not religious. Part of my family, and most of our community of friends & extended family, are. Help me navigate the religious talk without either going on the defensive, or being complacent. [more inside]
posted by raztaj on Jul 20, 2011 - 8 answers

Sandman story where Death closes up shop?

Is there a Sandman story depicting the end of the universe? [more inside]
posted by yellowbinder on Jul 3, 2011 - 10 answers

Father's Day without a father?

How can I help my wife cope with the death of her father during this Father's Day? [more inside]
posted by mcarthey on Jun 16, 2011 - 11 answers

Eek, a mouse!

I am terrified of all manner of bugs, rodents, and other creepy tiny things. I just found mouse droppings in my kitchen. What are the steps I should take right away that my panic is keeping me from thinking of? What steps are totally delusional and unnecessary? [more inside]
posted by SMPA on Jun 10, 2011 - 10 answers

How to find a birth/death record

I'm looking for a NJ birth/death record for a baby who only lived a short time during the 50's. [more inside]
posted by runnergirl on Jun 9, 2011 - 5 answers

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