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It's not me, it's actually you.

Am I being friend-dumped? (small wall of text and some itty bitty snowflakes) [more inside]
posted by sockorama on Dec 12, 2012 - 49 answers

No light at the end?

Have you ever not only been unable to see the light and the end of the tunnel, and don't care anymore if you do? [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on Dec 11, 2012 - 20 answers

COBRA coverage for someone who has already died

What do I do when a person is eligible for COBRA insurance but has passed away before getting papers and signing up? [more inside]
posted by meowzilla on Dec 8, 2012 - 4 answers

Just because people are nice to you doesn't mean they have your best interests in mind

Friend of a friend's mother just passed away, and between the death and the funeral, the mom's sketchy neighbor talked him into selling his car for pennies on the dollar. What now? [more inside]
posted by davejay on Dec 6, 2012 - 7 answers

Tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Is it wrong for me to share details about a deceased ex-boyfriend with his parents? Specifically, that he was my boyfriend at all. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2012 - 38 answers

How much extra safety would a crash helmet offer a highway driver wearing a seatbelt?

How much extra safety would a crash helmet offer a highway driver wearing a seatbelt? [more inside]
posted by Egg Shen on Dec 5, 2012 - 16 answers

Or, how to be supportive without being super annoying?

My husband is losing his father in a few weeks. He is currently spending some time with him at a hospice and is away from home to deal with chaotic family issues surrounding this. When he returns, I imagine he will need time to decompress and I want to make that easy. Please give me suggestions on how I can make that easier for him or what you've appreciated in a similar situation.
posted by dean winchester on Dec 3, 2012 - 10 answers

How to help a parent cope with the loss of a spouse?

I lost my dear dad unexpectedly Sunday after a series of illnesses. My mom, luckily, is still with us. They were together 54 years and my mom was only 17 when they met. The most important thing to my dad was my mom's well-being and I feel it is now my duty to look after her to the best of my ability. I have no idea how to help her cope with the loss of my father. I want to be there for her as much as possible, but I don't want to smother her. Does anyone have any advice?
posted by entropicamericana on Nov 23, 2012 - 18 answers

In lieu of flowers?

Wrongful death in the family. In lieu of flowers / Memorial donations? Help me, hive mind. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 23, 2012 - 17 answers

To send condolences or not?

My ex-boyfriend's dad just passed away. What, if anything, should I do? [more inside]
posted by csox on Nov 16, 2012 - 24 answers

Bitter aftertaste in apple butter?

I just made a large batch of apple butter (~8 pecks) in a giant uncoated copper kettle, cooked on top of a wood fire for the better part of the day. The texture is great, but there is a bitter aftertaste (stronger in some parts, like those from the side of the pot, than others) that slightly worries me — what could have caused it, and is it plausibly safe to eat? [more inside]
posted by caaaaaam on Nov 10, 2012 - 9 answers

Closed casket, closed records?

failover in adoption records opening requests: what happens if a party is deceased? [more inside]
posted by mwhybark on Oct 22, 2012 - 7 answers

How can I help after a death in the family?

The mother of the family I work for just passed away after a long illness. What can I do to help? [more inside]
posted by nonasuch on Oct 18, 2012 - 9 answers

How to explain mortality to a 4 year-old

How to explain mortality to a 4 year-old. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 13, 2012 - 15 answers

The Final Journey

Help me explain death to my 9 year old. [more inside]
posted by plinth on Sep 20, 2012 - 17 answers

Name some examples of humorous tragedies in film and literature

I need suggestions of fictional or non-fictional books or films that deal with illness or dying in relation to humor/the absurd. [more inside]
posted by Felicity Rilke on Sep 19, 2012 - 23 answers

Death is away.

Hypothetical (I'm writing a story): is it okay/normal for someone to visit a cemetery and mourn, even if their loved-one wasn't buried there? [more inside]
posted by Trexsock on Sep 12, 2012 - 44 answers

The woods are lovely, dark and deep

In Ontario, can a person be buried in a natural way, so that the body returns to the earth? [more inside]
posted by pseudostrabismus on Sep 4, 2012 - 8 answers

Waiting, waiting, waiting....

My mother is going to die, probably very soon. How do I deal with waiting for it to happen? [more inside]
posted by heurtebise on Aug 27, 2012 - 28 answers

Help me support my dad after the death of both his parents.

My father's parents just passed away, two weeks apart exactly. How do I support my dad through this time? [more inside]
posted by dil.emma on Aug 22, 2012 - 8 answers

Songs/Poems/Writing (brief) done by people near the end of their life, especially those who knew it was near their death.

We have a venue and put on a monthly variety show. Up until now there hasn't really been a theme, just lot's of variety. I'd like to focus one of these on Songs/Poems/brief writings that were done by people who were dying and knew it. I think Freddy Mercury did a few songs celebrating life, I know that Warren Zevon did. Anything you can give me would be appreciated. And it doesn't really have to be celebratory.
posted by kenaldo on Aug 15, 2012 - 7 answers

I can't think of one, I'm exhausted

My 90 year old grandmother is barely conscious, rarely eating, and is losing her mental faculties. I visit her every lunchtime to try and get her to eat. My mother (her daughter) takes the evening shift for dinnertime. I'm not coping well. Any suggestions to help me make this easier, so I'm not sobbing my heart out every day? [more inside]
posted by malibustacey9999 on Aug 14, 2012 - 41 answers

How can we help our son know his father?

My husband has a few more months before cancer takes his energy, and then his life. We have a 17 month old son. My husband plans to write some letters to our son, but beyond that, I am not sure what to do to help my son know his father. Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by Mozzie on Aug 13, 2012 - 62 answers

How can I stop traumatic flashbacks linked to my pet's death?

My pet died suddenly. How can I stop traumatic flashbacks and focus on happy memories? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2012 - 26 answers

How long is too long to use major life trauma as an excuse?

How long is too long to use major life trauma as an excuse for everything in my life falling apart? [more inside]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts on Aug 1, 2012 - 39 answers

How to handle estranged father's funeral?

My estranged father passed away last Sunday. I've decided to attend the funeral. Please help me conduct myself with something resembling grace. Overly complex snowflakey stuff inside. [more inside]
posted by Ephelump Jockey on Jul 31, 2012 - 23 answers

How can we get people to tell us stories about my mother-in-law?

My (beloved) mother-in-law died after a year with lung cancer and we will be having a big memorial for her this weekend. What can we do to capture stories and memories from her family and friends? [more inside]
posted by Alison on Jul 31, 2012 - 7 answers

How can she be gone when she was just here and I see her everywhere?

My mom died. Now what? (In the abstract, existential sense.) [more inside]
posted by ApathyGirl on Jul 31, 2012 - 28 answers

Death, dawn, and the tides

Idle curiosity: "They say that people who are near death die generally at the change to dawn or at the turn of the tide." Is there ANY empirical evidence to support this? [more inside]
posted by dragonfruit on Jul 20, 2012 - 5 answers

My mom has died, I will be ok, is it ok to know that?

My mom has died, I will be ok, is it ok to know that? [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on Jul 16, 2012 - 47 answers

Concern over personal information after googling.

I googled someone I've been dating for almost 3 weeks and discovered that they had a sibling die in a work related accident just over a year ago. Now I feel I have deeply personal and traumatic information about them without it having been given freely and not sure what to do with it. [more inside]
posted by Dynex on Jul 13, 2012 - 31 answers

Suddenly Widowed

My husband died recently. We were together for decades and have school-age children. His passing involved severe trauma, and we have social support and frequent therapy appointments to get us through the turmoil. Emotionally, we're holding up. My question is about getting our affairs in order. [more inside]
posted by Fichereader on Jun 16, 2012 - 29 answers

Elderly grandparents and young children

How do I best manage a visit to my elderly/dying grandparents with my young children? [more inside]
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse on Jun 13, 2012 - 12 answers

Death by arrow

How quickly does one die when struck by arrow? [more inside]
posted by war wrath of wraith on Jun 9, 2012 - 19 answers

sustainability after death

At present, what is the most environmentally friendly way to deal with a human body after they die? [more inside]
posted by raztaj on May 31, 2012 - 30 answers

Who ruined their family's christmas?

Morbid question about Louis CK's statistical analysis of the crowd at last year's Beacon Theater show. [more inside]
posted by FatherDagon on May 25, 2012 - 28 answers

Help me talk to my friend with cancer

My neighbor is dying of cancer. It's touch or go, and I am not sure, but it may be the end. I am young enough that I haven't known many people to die, and my neighbor is himself young. Not to be dramatic, but I don't know how to say goodbye and I'm nervous. [more inside]
posted by scunning on May 16, 2012 - 17 answers

How can I save my love from dying?

Knowledge-based hope is much needed. Since my first plea -- which helped a lot, really, this month of May has been sorrowful for Maria João and for me. A metastatic brain tumor (around 3 cms) was detected and removed. Gamma-knife surgery is next. Tomorrow starts the search for other cancerous tumors in her body. We both feel, against all odds, that we will be lucky. But what should we do? What should we hope for? Statistics are againsts us but we love each other truly. Two months ago we found a beautiful house to move into. We could move in come July, after all the tests are made. What should we do? What should our attitude be? Should we move or stay put? Should we change country? Should we prepare to die? Or live as much as we still can? Desperate questions need realistic answers. We're fighting for our lives here. Please tell us, knowingly, how to behave. For what it's worth - usually nothing - I think this time we'll be lucky enough to survive. Whatever happens.
posted by MiguelCardoso on May 15, 2012 - 25 answers

How do soldiers in wartime talk about death?

I'm looking for quantitative studies or other accounts of how often, and in what ways, soldiers in dangerous wartime situations discuss the possibility of death. [more inside]
posted by inkfish on May 11, 2012 - 1 answer

How do I stay sober?

How do you stay sober through difficult times? [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on May 10, 2012 - 25 answers

My pet died. I think his death was preventable. Help me cope.

My pet died. I think his death was preventable. Help me cope. [more inside]
posted by prior on May 10, 2012 - 22 answers

Do not go gentle into that good night

What do I need to experience before I die? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 8, 2012 - 68 answers

zombie chicken

I moved a frozen whole chicken from the freezer to the fridge on Saturday morning. It's Tuesday -- can I cook it for dinner, or do I need to chuck it? [more inside]
posted by Bebo on Apr 24, 2012 - 17 answers

How can I stop dwelling on my actions that may have caused loss of life?

I feel (at the very least) tangentially responsible for another persons death (murder) and I just can't shake it. [more inside]
posted by holdkris99 on Apr 16, 2012 - 47 answers

Firing into crowds

News coverage of the Arab Spring routinely has reports (with audio-gunshots) of state actors shooting at crowds of demonstrators. Often it seems like very few people are injured/killed. Is this confirmation bias on my part, are there mass casualties, or are the folks "shooting" at the crowd (ie not at the actual people) ? [more inside]
posted by k5.user on Apr 16, 2012 - 6 answers

What is it like to have/witness the decline of/lose a dearly loved grandparent?

What is it like to have/witness the decline of/lose a dearly loved grandparent? [more inside]
posted by peppermintfreddo on Apr 10, 2012 - 19 answers

Seeking short Fables / Parables about love, relationships, death and loss of friends.

Seeking short Fables / Parables about love, relationships, death and loss of friends. [more inside]
posted by audio on Apr 8, 2012 - 5 answers

Explaining death to baby atheists

Atheist families: how have you talked about death with your small children? [more inside]
posted by xo on Apr 3, 2012 - 29 answers

How can I best support my in-laws given very different communication styles?

Looking for some advice as to how to handle an impending death in the family I married into and with whom I am very close. While I come from a family that talks about everything, my husband comes from a family that talks about most things, but not at all about health issues and death. I would like to be able to support them in the days and weeks ahead but I have no idea how to navigate within their framework. [more inside]
posted by mireille on Mar 3, 2012 - 6 answers

What do I need to do to prepare for my own death?

What do I need to do to make sure all my affairs are in order in case I die? I have no kids and don't own property. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 28, 2012 - 19 answers

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