My dad passed away recently. He was not yet 70, not in great health but nothing severe that we knew of. As far as we can tell, he was probably gone for about a week before his landlord noticed his rent was late. This is literally keeping me up at night--I also live alone, and I'm pretty sure it's going to stay that way for the foreseeable future, so how do I make sure that if something like this happens to me, I'm at least discovered promptly? [more inside]
A mentor of mine passed away pretty suddenly a few weeks ago. I attended her funeral, cried, wrote out some of my thoughts, and think about her from time to time while listening to music that reminds me of her. This isn't affecting my daily function, but it has been on the back burner for a while. Now what? [more inside]
What books/activities/other resources will help me get past this horrible sadness. [more inside]
My husband's grandparent died. I'm wondering if I'm behaving in a decent way and need some advice. [more inside]
My father passed away two days ago of a sudden heart attack. I'm in my late twenties and wondering how to go about supporting my mother through this nightmare. [more inside]
Having not dealt with close family death often, i'm a little concerned about how to prepare my 12 yo daughter for the service etc. Thoughts? [more inside]
A friend and colleague recently passed away leaving behind two very young children. Although she did not have a substantial income, she was by far the primary wage earner for her household. Many of us at work and elsewhere are interested in contributing to the immediate support of her family and the future education of her children. Does anyone have suggestions about what the best mechanism(s) would be for doing this? Our office is in Maryland, and she and her family were residents as well.
An acquaintance's brother-in-law, a retired photojournalist (Newsweek, Time), has left specific instructions to destroy his negatives after his death so his family won't be hit by US inheritance taxes on the estimated market value of the collection. He sells through Getty and Polaris so this is a valid financial threat (he believes). Kinda sad, I think. He did a close up and personal pictorial project with a young Bob Dylan living in New York, and these rare shots would be destroyed, along with... [more inside]
Our 17 year-old Shepherd-Husky mix, Gertrude, was diagnosed with lymphoma earlier this summer. Given her condition and advanced age, I worry that one day I'll come home from work or downstairs in the morning and find that she's passed. I've been fretting about what to do with her body, should this occur. [more inside]
I am writing a letter, which I would like to keep secret until after my death. In the movies it seems so easy, but how would one really go about doing it? [more inside]
A not very close family member recently died and I would like to attend their memorial. However, I know that I will cry during the memorial and I feel weird about that. [more inside]
Help me talk to my five year old child about death age appropriately. We've talked about Fred Rogers. We've talked his feelings. We've talked about what he knows about it. He's concerned because his great-aunt died about a month ago, and now he wants to make sure we'll always be there. The problem is, in very short time his grandfather, my dad, won't. [more inside]
A dear friend (female, early 30s) is at the end of her battle with cancer. Our circle of close friends is spread out all over the country. We've been sending gifts, visiting, pooling money together for cleaning and dog walking, etc for a year. But we're in the final month or two, she's in pain (just now starting to turn to palliative care) and I'd love some ideas on how we can support her and her husband. [more inside]
I'm looking for a table that shows crude death rates in the United States, broken down by race (or at least Black and White), preferably going back to 1960 (the first year records were kept). Anyone know where to find such a thing?
How do the elderly process loss? [more inside]
My mother has terminal cancer, and I don't know how much time she has left. Others with experience losing a parent: what would I regret not doing with this time? [more inside]
My friend's Dad died earlier this year, and she's working through it. She wants to find a good grief support group in New York, preferably in lower Manhattan or Brooklyn. She works a lot, and the few she knows about meet in times when she just can't go. [more inside]
I found my cat dead under my car and I am trying to find out why. [more inside]
My mom died two weeks ago. It was from a fast growing lymphoma - was sudden and unexpected. She was an incredibly healthy person leading up to about the year before her death - no vices at all, exercised religiously, and maintained a very healthy lifestyle. Question revolves around help for coping with this loss, potential near-future loss of father, and changes in live. [more inside]
I read this poem years ago, and I'm pretty sure it's by Rimbaud, but I can't find it on Google. I think it starts out by describing a beautiful summer landscape, perhaps some wheat fields in France, and then it turns darker and describes dead young WW1 soldiers who lie there bleeding. Which poem is this?
What can I do in the short and long-term to process and cope with my dog's death? [more inside]
A close, long time friend just got the C word from his doctor. This is not a good prognosis, it's perhaps weeks/months to live. He and his family are more than likely going through various stages of fear and emotional paralysis, just my assumption as I've yet to speak with them personally, just got the news. How can I best support them from a distance? [more inside]
So I've noticed a convention that using someone's name--and only their name--as the subject line in the email message means that something pretty severe has happened to them. Like, if Jane Bloggs had a healthy baby, the subject line would be something like "Jane had a baby!", but if the subject line was just "Jane" or "Jane Bloggs" or "Aunt Jane" (assuming I'm Jane's nephew) then either Jane or her baby or both would be in the (N)ICU or more likely the morgue. I'm wondering where this started. Any help?
I'm writing my will, and I'm planning to donate pretty much my entire estate. Places on my radar are: ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and Lambda Legal. I know there are tons of other great organizations out there, but I don't know who they are, so please tell me about them. I am interested in anything progressive/social justice-y.
My fiancé and I foster homeless kittens and cats in our house as volunteers for a local cat shelter. Panleukopenia just hit us hard, killing all of our fosters, making us really depressed, and now we don't know what to do. Any advice? [more inside]
It's okay with the estate, but now I need to deal with the car company. How do I make sure that I can take over the car loan of a dead relative in order to keep the (sentimental) car, keeping in mind bad credit and not enough money to pay it off entirely? [more inside]
I have deceased family members who came to America a few decades ago and died, but would not have been on Social Security rolls. A living family member wants me to find out where they are buried. How to do this? [more inside]
My girlfriend, her parent, and her entire family are 100% convinced that one of her parents has an incurable terminal disease. The catch? None of the test results have come back. In fact, none of the tests have even been done. [more inside]
With the departure of Gabriel Garcia, there has been a plethora of obituaries to make his passing. I've been reading many of them and am pretty intrigued by the life he lived. I remember reading an obituary of Svetlana Alliuyeva which recounted probalby one of the most interesting and epic lives I've ever read about. Miles Davis obituary had probably the coolest (pun intended) headline "Miles Davis, Trumpeter, Dies; Jazz Genius, 65, Defined Cool". What are the most interesting obituaries you've read and that have stayed with you throughout the years.
I think I'm about to have to deal with the loss of a beloved pet cat. I am not sure how to best handle dealing with her remains. I want to keep them. Can anyone help me figure this out? [more inside]
On Tuesday, a Japanese acquaintance from my first exchange to Tokyo in 2009/10 suddenly messaged me saying she needed someone to interpret for a Japanese lady whose son had suddenly passed away in Germany. I said okay and now I've just come home after two exhausting days and sorting through the apartment of a young man who probably committed suicide. I will have to go back there on Monday, but I'd like some tips on how to deal myself and also on how to help the mother. [more inside]
My best friend called me last night to say that her father had died of a heart attack yesterday. She was clearly still in shock. She and her husband drove in overnight and as soon as she calls I'll leave work to go spend the day with her and her family. I don't want to show up empty-handed. Besides food for lunch, what should I bring with me? [more inside]
How do I write a letter of condolence to my best friend whose dad passed away when it is the only way I have of contacting him? [more inside]
I'm trying to think of more examples of this particular moment: a character who is dying, or thinking of death, or speaking from beyond the grave, gives a list or inventory of the everyday things they remember and appreciate about being alive. A few examples inside. [more inside]
After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away? [more inside]
Background: I was in the middle of doing a mild restoration on my little brother's bike two years ago (2000 ZX-7R) when he died very unexpectedly. I don't know what to do with it now and just realized that it hasn't been registered since 2008. [more inside]
My brother passed away on Monday. My father is coping by lashing out. What do I do? [more inside]
My parents bought whole life insurance when I was born and it needs renewed. I was going to let it lapse, they want me to renew - do I really need life insurance? [more inside]
What happens to the contents on your computer if you're incapacitated? Would you (if you had some terminal illness, for example) wipe things, or do you think your family members would respect your privacy? Would you scour every bit of a loved one's computer? [more inside]
Simple summary: A brother and sister rode along to the store in the back of a truck to purchase a coffin. On the return trip home, the coffin falls on the sister and kills her, and they have to go back to the store to buy a coffin for her. Google has had some mighty strange or irrelevant suggestions to my query, but nothing that seems right. It's probable that I'd recognize the cover or the name of the book. [more inside]
Within the past year or two (approx.), there was a book published that laid out (in a somewhat light-hearted, abbreviated manner, for mass market) many various imaginings from religion, folklore, etc., of what life after death may be like. Can anyone recall it for me?
My partner's father, a professional artist, passed away last year. We are now responsible for his work, including many large paintings (over 7 ft high), along with smaller paintings and works on paper. His father wasn't selling many paintings in recent years, so we don't think there's much of a market for them. He was an art professor for many years and had some nice residencies and reviews throughout his career, but as far as we know, he wasn't working with a gallery or dealer in the last few years. [more inside]
So, our hero lives next door to an evil guy who is at present blind/infirm. She has an opportunity to kill him and make it look like an accident. What are some handy means of death for purposes of FICTION [more inside]
One of my closest friends committed suicide. I am having a really hard time understanding my feelings about it. [more inside]
Looking for a blog post about death imagery/metaphor at Disneyland/Disney World. Sound familiar? [more inside]
I am currently working a job I've been at for 4 months. I haven't really enjoyed said job (particularly the hours it has required), and have recently suffered a setback that has made it more difficult than ever for me to deal with it. I was thinking of requesting a transfer, but I'm not sure if that's the right idea. I'd really like things not to backfire. [more inside]
A dear friend of mine who lives far away has lost two of her three cats to sudden, upsetting illness, in the space of a week. She has implied that she's not interested in talking about it, which I can understand. [more inside]
After a particularly bad holiday season, I am feeling unhappy and dissatisfied with my life. I want things to change, but can't bring myself to actually do anything to help that change occur. This is a long one, so I apologize in advance... [more inside]
Things just keep getting worse and I don't know what to do. Please see extended explanation. [more inside]
A friend of mine died nearly thee years ago and his cat ended up in the care of my mother. The cat is now dying. Should I email my friend's family when the cat dies? If you were the friend's brother, is this an email you'd want to receive? (The obligatory picture from healthier times.) [more inside]