802 posts tagged with death.
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Picking up the pieces after an unexpected death

My brother in law just passed away suddenly from a brain hemorrhage in his mid 40's leaving a wife and young family. He was the sole wage earner and handled all of the family's financial matters. His wife has almost zero knowledge of what bank/stock accounts or loans he had setup. Help us pick up the various pieces - we have lots of questions. [more inside]
posted by Long Way To Go on Mar 4, 2016 - 11 answers

the 2d of 3 stages of death?

In one of the world's traditions (or maybe in fiction), there's the idea that death has 3 stages: first, the biological death of the physical body; second=??; and third, when the last person who, as a child, knew you, undergoes biological death. Would someone please refresh or correct my memory of this teaching?
posted by mmiddle on Feb 23, 2016 - 7 answers

Crazy mortuary on the edge of town

My mom is entering her final stages of life. [more inside]
posted by silsurf on Feb 22, 2016 - 9 answers

Need plan to survive new job, long commute, dad in hospice

Dearest hive mind, kindly help me prepare a self-care kit or make survival plans for what will probably be the most brutal 6 months I have had in years. The good news: I have finally landed work. The bad news: My dad is in hospice out of state, my new contract job is 40 hours per week at the end of a long commute on one of those hated corporate buses that pick up workers in San Francisco and drop them off in Silicon Valley. Details below. [more inside]
posted by Bella Donna on Feb 2, 2016 - 15 answers

Useful Guidance for An Unexpected Loss

I emailed my therapist for an appointment, and it bounced. When I googled her to see if contact info changed, the first link was her obit (Nov 2015). My therapist died. I just found out, and I am pretty wrecked. Thoughts? [more inside]
posted by j_curiouser on Jan 28, 2016 - 11 answers

Books to Read After Losing Your Mother

A friend's mother recently passed away after a fairly brief but intense battle with pancreatic cancer. My friend is the type of person who is comforted by reading about similar experiences and I think finding books about mother loss or the grief process in general might help her process some of her feelings. Please recommend any books you think could be useful, keeping in mind that her mom died only a few months ago, so it might be better to have more general books rather than intensely personal ones (although I'm not 100% sure about that).
posted by odayoday on Jan 25, 2016 - 26 answers

How much should I reasonably weather and sacrifice for my dying mother?

How much disruption of my life is OK when it comes to caring for a dying parent? What if I just don't have it in me? [more inside]
posted by tellyalater on Jan 17, 2016 - 18 answers

"And, beauty dead, black chaos comes again..."

The passing of the Thin White Duke has me mulling over last works and final days. What other artists made work about the premonition of death? [more inside]
posted by fritillary on Jan 16, 2016 - 25 answers

My mother is dying and I live 3500 miles away

This is my first experience with the death of a close family member. I feel a million things and it's all complicated being so far away and I don't know what to do. Snowflake details inside [more inside]
posted by shesbenevolent on Jan 14, 2016 - 8 answers

My therapist has died. What now?

I spent a sizable portion of my adult life, a good 25 years, searching for a therapist who would truly understand me. In 2005, I did. After a a few years of not going, I went to see her again. As usual, she made me feel so much better that months passed before I called for another appointment. Then I learned she passed away suddenly. I honestly don't know what to do now. She had a private practice, so no colleagues, though I did reach out to a former associate of hers from a while back. I'm not sure if he's taking new clients, though. What are your suggestions? Any ideas would be much appreciated.
posted by Lillitatiana on Dec 23, 2015 - 4 answers

How do death and taxes work?

My grandmother is in hospice and my father will be inheriting the majority of her savings after she passes. He would like to give me a large-ish amount of money from this, but how does that work? [more inside]
posted by thefang on Dec 22, 2015 - 7 answers

How to pre-pay for a funeral when you never stay in one place long?

After my mother died last fall, and my family having no money to bury her, it got me thinking about my own inevitable death someday. I know you can prepay for your funeral at actual funeral homes, but I never stay in one location more than 2-3 years. I have no idea where I'll be when I die. I've thought about life insurance, but I think that takes a while to pay out? Are there some options I'm missing?
posted by Zarya on Nov 19, 2015 - 12 answers

What happens to the game if a professional athlete dies on the field?

After watching Ricardo Lockette get knocked terrifyingly unconscious in tonight's Seahawks/Cowboys game, and wondering for the eight minutes he was down if he was even alive*, I'm curious to know what the rules governing various high-level sports leagues are about continuing play in the event of the death of an athlete on the field. [more inside]
posted by KathrynT on Nov 1, 2015 - 22 answers

A cocktail from the king

Are there any English-language translations of sources describing death by sayak (사약; 賜藥) poisoning in Korean history? I'm interested in what the effects of the poison were on the body.
posted by Quilford on Oct 29, 2015 - 2 answers

Uncertainty of Death (Perspective of a Friend)

My good friend is in the hospital across the country. She is my age (mid-20s) and has a ton of potential. Because of school and money I only have one chance to fly out, so I won't be visiting her (she is also heavily sedated anyways). There is an at least 50% chance she will die of this (though that is an older number and it has likely gotten worse since then). I'm looking for quotes, poems, prayers, or stories not for her, but for her friends, to help deal with this uncertainty and stress. [more inside]
posted by obviousresistance on Oct 15, 2015 - 12 answers

How to send condolences to a coworker

My co-worker's sibling died. What's the best way to send my condolences? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 8, 2015 - 15 answers

An American Remote Worker in Katowice

I'm looking for advice and more questions about working an American job remotely while living in Poland. [more inside]
posted by LiteOpera on Oct 4, 2015 - 2 answers

Seeking biggest, most destructive, animal and insect swarms in history

So I'm trying to find the biggest historical accounts of animal and insect swarms/herds in history. I've been googling by species but decade and by general terms like swarm, infestation, herd, stampede and so far I've only found a few of the more recent ones. So a) if you know any, please tell me more about them and b) what's the best way to find these historical accounts? Even if they're just one or two lines. [more inside]
posted by rileyray3000 on Oct 1, 2015 - 16 answers

Crane Climbing Deaths?

I've been watching more of the FAIL/WIN & People Are Awesome videos on YouTube than I should. Many of them contain (by now familiar to everyone) scenes of teenagers hanging one-handed off the top of a gargantuan crane. Are there known deaths from attempts to do that, or something similar? I googled, but couldn't find anything.
posted by OmieWise on Sep 30, 2015 - 4 answers

Contesting a will

My mother recently died. I acted as her live-in carer, to varying degrees, over the last 11 years (mainly the last few years). Do I have a reasonable case upon which to contest the will's equal apportionment of the estate? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2015 - 24 answers

How do I keep going?

The last year has been filled with brutal loss and now there's more. Please help me cope with lots of death and an emotionally stunted family. [more inside]
posted by stoneweaver on Sep 10, 2015 - 10 answers

Anyone know a book about a boy in an isolation unit?

What's that novel filter: teen girl in hospital falls for a boy isolated behind glass. [more inside]
posted by mippy on Aug 21, 2015 - 2 answers

Reading recommendations about death of a friend

A close friend of mine committed suicide recently and I'm struggling to process all my feelings about it. Reading about other people's experiences usually helps me, but I've been having trouble finding books that fit what I'm looking for. [more inside]
posted by gnar_gnar on Aug 12, 2015 - 12 answers

Did I Kill This Beautiful Indoor Cactus?

This cactus has been with me since he was a tiny 1-foot tot, and now is now almost 4-feet tall. But have I killed it or is he in need of _______? [more inside]
posted by zenpop on Aug 4, 2015 - 4 answers

Making a card for a dying uncle. Need suggestions/advice.

I need help making this card. It seems simple but I'm having trouble and I'm on a very tight deadline (tonight if possible). [more inside]
posted by nogoodverybad on Jul 30, 2015 - 14 answers

Happy or Sad

How do I deal with my unexpected strong feelings about my estranged father's death in light of my recent discovery that I am pregnant? [more inside]
posted by dissolvedgirl22 on Jul 27, 2015 - 19 answers

Bankcard Technophage

I am with Scotia Bank in Canada, and between every 3 and 6 weeks, my bank card just stops working. Scotia has prevented people from swiping it. It leaves me without cash. I cannot take money out, and I cannot use it on POS terminals. [more inside]
posted by PinkMoose on Jul 23, 2015 - 12 answers

SO wants to Probate his dad's will on his own, how hard is it?

His dad passed away suddenly 2 weeks ago, it's been an extremely difficult time and he and his sisters just want to get through his financial things and move on. They feel uneasy about paying such high fees for a lawyer to probate it and are looking into doing it themselves, is this a smart move? [more inside]
posted by bluehermit on Jul 23, 2015 - 16 answers

Memoirs and philosophical works on death, loss

Please recommended memoirs, philosophy, and/or classics on coping with death, the meaning of life, etc. [more inside]
posted by pumpkinlatte on Jul 14, 2015 - 23 answers

Introvert needs help with impending death etiquette

So, my spouse of 20 years has weeks to live according to the hospice nurse who came today. [more inside]
posted by mismatchedsock on Jul 11, 2015 - 24 answers

Dying at home

My husband is terminally ill and probably won't live more than 6 months. We have a 7 year old son. What will it be like for our son to live at home while his father continues to decline and during his eventual death at home? [more inside]
posted by Mrs Roy G Biv on Jul 8, 2015 - 33 answers

Burn notice

I keep a journal. It contains my deepest, most private thoughts that no one knows, not even the people who are the most important and closest to me. What should I do now so that in the event that I die suddenly, nobody can get into it? [more inside]
posted by keep it under cover on Jul 6, 2015 - 15 answers

To date or not to date: MRSA edition.

I recently started hanging out with this lady. We have gone on 2 dates, and kissed. She told me, on the second date, that she has had MRSA in the past. It colonized her nose and she passed it on to her ex-boyfriend during an infection. She has not had an infection in 2 years, however. AM I SAFE [more inside]
posted by special agent conrad uno on Jun 23, 2015 - 17 answers

While I was in a coma, you suggested I die

While I was in a coma earlier this year, one of my in-laws suggested my plug should be pulled. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 17, 2015 - 71 answers

Rules about showing real corpses on TV?

What are the regulations, laws, or norms regarding showing images of actual (non-fictional) corpses on TV in the United States (or more specifically California)? [more inside]
posted by unsub on Jun 11, 2015 - 2 answers

Having the hard conversations with good friends

Several of my friends have gone through some hard life events lately (death, unemployment and more) and I want to know how to talk about it with them. [more inside]
posted by Toddles on Jun 9, 2015 - 17 answers

If the shitteth hitteth the fan... I would like x, y and z?

Inspired by reading this post today, I would like to get my affairs in order so that folks know what to do in the event of my death or severe disability. See below the fold for my question in two parts.... [more inside]
posted by susiswimmer on Jun 6, 2015 - 11 answers

Surrounded by loving family . . . really?

Another morbid funeral question: Is it "understood" that when an obituary says someone died "surrounded by his/her loving family" that the mourners may or may not have been present around the deathbed? [more inside]
posted by Elsie on May 28, 2015 - 30 answers

Horse tracks that allow interments in the U.S.?

What horse track in the U.S. can I sprinkle or inter my father-in-law's ashes at? Santa Anita would be perfect, but any horse track would do. [more inside]
posted by OrangeDisk on May 24, 2015 - 3 answers

Need help making plans for my possible death

I am making plans for my loved ones in case I die. I know the coroner will take my body away, but I'm afraid there will be an awful mess left behind. How do other people handle this? I don't want my loved ones to have to clean it up. [more inside]
posted by Cinnamon Bear on May 22, 2015 - 16 answers

Family abandon me when I was at my lowest point. Should I cut them off?

My mother passed away last year of April and as a result I had a mental breakdown. I wasn't myself..I had overwhelming grief and I was in a deep depression. Mind you I was in a deep depression and calling out for help..my family abandon and basically treated me like a black sheep. [more inside]
posted by TheBronxGirl on May 21, 2015 - 31 answers

The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out

I am having a weird symptom lately that I don't know whether to attribute to depression, anxiety, or aging. Namely, I can't stop thinking about death and dying. I'm 26 and I am constantly thinking about how I could die at any moment and time is running out for me (and my loved ones). [more inside]
posted by easter queen on May 8, 2015 - 10 answers

What do I do with someone else’s memories?

I have in my possession my dead stepmother’s baby photos, photos of her beloved mother, her lovingly constructed scrapbook of awards, school reports, diplomas, etc. She has no one left behind to whom I can give these items, not a single family member, not a single friend. While her items have no intrinsic sentimental value for me, I also feel really weird about just throwing them away. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by Ink-stained wretch on May 4, 2015 - 43 answers

Out of morbid curiosity...

A friend tells me that there are few if any family-owned funeral parlors left in the US. Although nearly all funeral parlors appear to be small establishments, they are in fact operated by large corporations. The reason they maintain the family business atmosphere is because people don't want a big company dealing with their loved ones' remains. Is it true?
posted by stinker on Apr 24, 2015 - 14 answers

Can I send a condolence card under these circumstances?

I just found out that a colleague of mine from a while ago died suddenly. I'd like to send a condolence card to her brother, but I'm not sure it's appropriate. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by holborne on Apr 12, 2015 - 22 answers

Not my debt, not my problem.

So, you all have been very helpful when it came to the Life Insurance question. Good news! I found a policy! Bad news! It's so small that it barely covers the cremation expenses, of which I paid out of pocket. I've now tallied up his assets and his debts, and the debts far outweigh the assets. Like, there'll be enough to recoup my costs for the cremation, but really not a lot else. Now, I know that I'm not liable for his debts, but how do I communicate to the creditors that the Estate is Insolvent, and consequently they're not getting paid? [more inside]
posted by spinifex23 on Apr 6, 2015 - 4 answers

I need perspective on the dread I feel about how short life is.

Can you set me straight about the urge I get to control my husband's eating and exercise habits? [more inside]
posted by Tarumba on Mar 30, 2015 - 31 answers

death of a grandparent

My father was just given a very bleak prognosis. Of all the things that are upsetting, I am most distraught by the thought that my toddler will not remember my father. I am pregnant and there is a chance that my son (due in June) will never even meet my dad. I'm looking for advice on how to manage my sadness about this. [more inside]
posted by avocado_of_merriment on Mar 24, 2015 - 26 answers

Dealing with grief and stupid things people say

My grandmother passed away last week. The viewing and funeral have already been held. I am now trying to deal with people who mean well, but say some incredibly dumb things. What are some good tactics? [more inside]
posted by intheigloo on Mar 14, 2015 - 24 answers

Can you file travel insurance claim based on pending death of loved one?

Overseas travel set to start March 24. Travel insurance cautiously purchased at time of booking non-refundable air and hotel in November. And now ... [more inside]
posted by John Borrowman on Feb 22, 2015 - 3 answers

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