My brother in law just passed away suddenly from a brain hemorrhage in his mid 40's leaving a wife and young family. He was the sole wage earner and handled all of the family's financial matters. His wife has almost zero knowledge of what bank/stock accounts or loans he had setup. Help us pick up the various pieces - we have lots of questions. [more inside]
In one of the world's traditions (or maybe in fiction), there's the idea that death has 3 stages: first, the biological death of the physical body; second=??; and third, when the last person who, as a child, knew you, undergoes biological death. Would someone please refresh or correct my memory of this teaching?
My mom is entering her final stages of life. [more inside]
Dearest hive mind, kindly help me prepare a self-care kit or make survival plans for what will probably be the most brutal 6 months I have had in years. The good news: I have finally landed work. The bad news: My dad is in hospice out of state, my new contract job is 40 hours per week at the end of a long commute on one of those hated corporate buses that pick up workers in San Francisco and drop them off in Silicon Valley. Details below. [more inside]
I emailed my therapist for an appointment, and it bounced. When I googled her to see if contact info changed, the first link was her obit (Nov 2015). My therapist died. I just found out, and I am pretty wrecked. Thoughts? [more inside]
A friend's mother recently passed away after a fairly brief but intense battle with pancreatic cancer. My friend is the type of person who is comforted by reading about similar experiences and I think finding books about mother loss or the grief process in general might help her process some of her feelings. Please recommend any books you think could be useful, keeping in mind that her mom died only a few months ago, so it might be better to have more general books rather than intensely personal ones (although I'm not 100% sure about that).
How much disruption of my life is OK when it comes to caring for a dying parent? What if I just don't have it in me? [more inside]
The passing of the Thin White Duke has me mulling over last works and final days. What other artists made work about the premonition of death? [more inside]
This is my first experience with the death of a close family member. I feel a million things and it's all complicated being so far away and I don't know what to do. Snowflake details inside [more inside]
I spent a sizable portion of my adult life, a good 25 years, searching for a therapist who would truly understand me. In 2005, I did. After a a few years of not going, I went to see her again. As usual, she made me feel so much better that months passed before I called for another appointment. Then I learned she passed away suddenly. I honestly don't know what to do now. She had a private practice, so no colleagues, though I did reach out to a former associate of hers from a while back. I'm not sure if he's taking new clients, though. What are your suggestions? Any ideas would be much appreciated.
My grandmother is in hospice and my father will be inheriting the majority of her savings after she passes. He would like to give me a large-ish amount of money from this, but how does that work? [more inside]
After my mother died last fall, and my family having no money to bury her, it got me thinking about my own inevitable death someday. I know you can prepay for your funeral at actual funeral homes, but I never stay in one location more than 2-3 years. I have no idea where I'll be when I die. I've thought about life insurance, but I think that takes a while to pay out? Are there some options I'm missing?
After watching Ricardo Lockette get knocked terrifyingly unconscious in tonight's Seahawks/Cowboys game, and wondering for the eight minutes he was down if he was even alive*, I'm curious to know what the rules governing various high-level sports leagues are about continuing play in the event of the death of an athlete on the field. [more inside]
Are there any English-language translations of sources describing death by sayak (사약; 賜藥) poisoning in Korean history? I'm interested in what the effects of the poison were on the body.
My good friend is in the hospital across the country. She is my age (mid-20s) and has a ton of potential. Because of school and money I only have one chance to fly out, so I won't be visiting her (she is also heavily sedated anyways). There is an at least 50% chance she will die of this (though that is an older number and it has likely gotten worse since then). I'm looking for quotes, poems, prayers, or stories not for her, but for her friends, to help deal with this uncertainty and stress. [more inside]
My co-worker's sibling died. What's the best way to send my condolences? [more inside]
I'm looking for advice and more questions about working an American job remotely while living in Poland. [more inside]
So I'm trying to find the biggest historical accounts of animal and insect swarms/herds in history. I've been googling by species but decade and by general terms like swarm, infestation, herd, stampede and so far I've only found a few of the more recent ones. So a) if you know any, please tell me more about them and b) what's the best way to find these historical accounts? Even if they're just one or two lines. [more inside]
I've been watching more of the FAIL/WIN & People Are Awesome videos on YouTube than I should. Many of them contain (by now familiar to everyone) scenes of teenagers hanging one-handed off the top of a gargantuan crane. Are there known deaths from attempts to do that, or something similar? I googled, but couldn't find anything.
My mother recently died. I acted as her live-in carer, to varying degrees, over the last 11 years (mainly the last few years). Do I have a reasonable case upon which to contest the will's equal apportionment of the estate? [more inside]
The last year has been filled with brutal loss and now there's more. Please help me cope with lots of death and an emotionally stunted family. [more inside]
What's that novel filter: teen girl in hospital falls for a boy isolated behind glass. [more inside]
A close friend of mine committed suicide recently and I'm struggling to process all my feelings about it. Reading about other people's experiences usually helps me, but I've been having trouble finding books that fit what I'm looking for. [more inside]
This cactus has been with me since he was a tiny 1-foot tot, and now is now almost 4-feet tall. But have I killed it or is he in need of _______? [more inside]
I need help making this card. It seems simple but I'm having trouble and I'm on a very tight deadline (tonight if possible). [more inside]
How do I deal with my unexpected strong feelings about my estranged father's death in light of my recent discovery that I am pregnant? [more inside]
I am with Scotia Bank in Canada, and between every 3 and 6 weeks, my bank card just stops working. Scotia has prevented people from swiping it. It leaves me without cash. I cannot take money out, and I cannot use it on POS terminals. [more inside]
His dad passed away suddenly 2 weeks ago, it's been an extremely difficult time and he and his sisters just want to get through his financial things and move on. They feel uneasy about paying such high fees for a lawyer to probate it and are looking into doing it themselves, is this a smart move? [more inside]
Please recommended memoirs, philosophy, and/or classics on coping with death, the meaning of life, etc. [more inside]
So, my spouse of 20 years has weeks to live according to the hospice nurse who came today. [more inside]
My husband is terminally ill and probably won't live more than 6 months. We have a 7 year old son. What will it be like for our son to live at home while his father continues to decline and during his eventual death at home? [more inside]
I keep a journal. It contains my deepest, most private thoughts that no one knows, not even the people who are the most important and closest to me. What should I do now so that in the event that I die suddenly, nobody can get into it? [more inside]
I recently started hanging out with this lady. We have gone on 2 dates, and kissed. She told me, on the second date, that she has had MRSA in the past. It colonized her nose and she passed it on to her ex-boyfriend during an infection. She has not had an infection in 2 years, however. AM I SAFE [more inside]
While I was in a coma earlier this year, one of my in-laws suggested my plug should be pulled. [more inside]
What are the regulations, laws, or norms regarding showing images of actual (non-fictional) corpses on TV in the United States (or more specifically California)? [more inside]
Several of my friends have gone through some hard life events lately (death, unemployment and more) and I want to know how to talk about it with them. [more inside]
Inspired by reading this post today, I would like to get my affairs in order so that folks know what to do in the event of my death or severe disability. See below the fold for my question in two parts.... [more inside]
Another morbid funeral question: Is it "understood" that when an obituary says someone died "surrounded by his/her loving family" that the mourners may or may not have been present around the deathbed? [more inside]
What horse track in the U.S. can I sprinkle or inter my father-in-law's ashes at? Santa Anita would be perfect, but any horse track would do. [more inside]
I am making plans for my loved ones in case I die. I know the coroner will take my body away, but I'm afraid there will be an awful mess left behind. How do other people handle this? I don't want my loved ones to have to clean it up. [more inside]
My mother passed away last year of April and as a result I had a mental breakdown. I wasn't myself..I had overwhelming grief and I was in a deep depression. Mind you I was in a deep depression and calling out for help..my family abandon and basically treated me like a black sheep. [more inside]
I am having a weird symptom lately that I don't know whether to attribute to depression, anxiety, or aging. Namely, I can't stop thinking about death and dying. I'm 26 and I am constantly thinking about how I could die at any moment and time is running out for me (and my loved ones). [more inside]
I have in my possession my dead stepmother’s baby photos, photos of her beloved mother, her lovingly constructed scrapbook of awards, school reports, diplomas, etc. She has no one left behind to whom I can give these items, not a single family member, not a single friend. While her items have no intrinsic sentimental value for me, I also feel really weird about just throwing them away. What do I do? [more inside]
A friend tells me that there are few if any family-owned funeral parlors left in the US. Although nearly all funeral parlors appear to be small establishments, they are in fact operated by large corporations. The reason they maintain the family business atmosphere is because people don't want a big company dealing with their loved ones' remains. Is it true?
I just found out that a colleague of mine from a while ago died suddenly. I'd like to send a condolence card to her brother, but I'm not sure it's appropriate. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
So, you all have been very helpful when it came to the Life Insurance question. Good news! I found a policy! Bad news! It's so small that it barely covers the cremation expenses, of which I paid out of pocket. I've now tallied up his assets and his debts, and the debts far outweigh the assets. Like, there'll be enough to recoup my costs for the cremation, but really not a lot else. Now, I know that I'm not liable for his debts, but how do I communicate to the creditors that the Estate is Insolvent, and consequently they're not getting paid? [more inside]
Can you set me straight about the urge I get to control my husband's eating and exercise habits? [more inside]
My father was just given a very bleak prognosis. Of all the things that are upsetting, I am most distraught by the thought that my toddler will not remember my father. I am pregnant and there is a chance that my son (due in June) will never even meet my dad. I'm looking for advice on how to manage my sadness about this. [more inside]
My grandmother passed away last week. The viewing and funeral have already been held. I am now trying to deal with people who mean well, but say some incredibly dumb things. What are some good tactics? [more inside]
Overseas travel set to start March 24. Travel insurance cautiously purchased at time of booking non-refundable air and hotel in November. And now ... [more inside]