Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with death

How do you overcome fear of death when you have faced major medical problems?

Anonymous — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 07:44:19 -0800

I had a large non-cancerous tumor removed a few years ago. The tumor and the two surgeries required to remove it left me unable to work for a year and $50,000 in debt. My problem is that anytime I have any pain in any part of my body, I now fear the worst. If I have pain in my abdomen, I am afraid I have stomach cancer, or liver cancer. If I have a headache, I am afraid it is a blood clot that will lead to a stroke. I have become a complete hypochondriac in the worst way. I fear cancer, I fear death, I fear the absolute worst case when I have even minor physical problems. Basically, what I am asking is how to stop fearing the worst, when the worst has actually happened to me. Does anyone who has suffered through a major medical trauma have any advice on how to stop the fear that it will happen again...that my carefully reconstructed life will be ripped apart again...that the next time I won't survive.

How to tell children about death book suggestions for a single dad

spec80 — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 05:15:12 -0800

A friend's father passed away suddenly and he is having difficulty formulating a way to tell his daughter. What books would you recommend? I have no experience with the death of a parent or being a parent. I don't know how to help other than lending a sympathetic ear.

Friend was pretty close with his dad and is using work to distract himself. He is a single dad and his two daughters live with their mom. He is concerned about how to tell his eldest daughter (ten years old) and help her cope/mourn because she knew and had a close relationship with her grandfather. She is aware of the concept of death and knows people that have died, but Friend says she's never had a relationship with those people. (Her mother lives in an area of NYC where violence is still prevalent.)

I searched previous questions and I am thinking of printing out this thread and maybe getting this book? Googling gives an overwhelming result and I was hoping someone could personally suggest a book. I cannot give a website, only printouts of a website because they don't have an internet/computer at home. Daughter might have access to one at school, but I am presuming.

What do zoos do with large animals that die

willnot — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 08:45:39 -0800

What do zoos do with large animals that die? I heard about a giraffe at the Santa Barbara zoo that died and it got me to wondering about what they'd do with the body. I'm guessing they wouldn't just feed it to predator animals (even though that seems kind of efficient and circle of lifeish) so do they bury them, burn them, stuff them?

the best underground/extreme Metal albums you know of

herbplarfegan — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:48:53 -0800

looking for recommendations on thrash/death metal albums. (I did search previous threads, & it looks like a refresher is timely)
I'll try like hell not to get too wordy in providing some background for your approach answering.

so you know my tastes a little,
my favorite 10 thrash/death metal albums are:
Slayer-Reign In Blood (1986);
Megadeth-So Far So Good... So What? (1988);
Metallica-...And Justice For All (1988);
Suffocation-Pierced From Within (1996);
Seventh Angel-Lament For The Weary (1992);
Sepultura-Arise (1992);
Living Sacrifice-Nonexistent (1992);
Malevolant Creation-Retribution (1993).
The Black Dahlia Murder-Miasma (2005);
Between The Buried And Me-Alaska (2005).

more input to help honing:
I DO like Bathory, Sodom, Kreator, Death, & Morbid Angel
I DON'T like: Venom, Celtic Frost, Anthrax

please specify albums when possible, & I'm looking for two things:

1. lesser-known bands from the original classic thrash era (1986-1993). [the reason I specify "underground"
for this category is that pandora/wikipedia/etc make it pretty easy to research anything that got decent exposure]

2. more recent stuff overall-- progressive, dynamic, emphatic, original material;
I mention Between The Buried And Me & The Black Dahlia Murder so you know where I'm coming from in terms of
dynamics & lyrical approach.

smart lyrics, preferably not idiotic-gorey, preachy, political, or church-burning crap, and I thrive most on the poise that you find in truly decent thrash, where you find death, destruction, damnation, war, and insanity are treated aesthetically and objectively.

..and local bands from where you live are welcome, big time
(in fact that might be what I'm most interested in overall).

thank you

p.s. not looking for different opinions on definitions/semantics with "classic", "progressive" names of sub-genres, or timelines that
I've discussed-- here I'm just putting my energy into best describing what kind of new brutality I'm looking for.... thanks >:) *devil-horns

Do we pay our whole vet bill?

missanissa — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:50:02 -0800

Our dog died at the vets office after surgery, is it reasonable for us to ask for a refund? Nearly 10 year old dog, had foreign objects in his stomach, quit eating due to stomach discomfort. the vet surgically removed it but had to also go into his intestine to get the whole thing out. After surgery we got a call saying he was doing well. The next morning we got a call saying he had died. He developed a hole in his intestines near where they removed the stuff. The vet was sure this was not there when he closed him up.

I realize that this was an old dog and that every surgery has risks. I also realize that the vets time is valuable and he needs to make money to run his business. He also spent 3 days there getting tests and IV fluids and other care that we have already paid for.

My boyfriend paid upfront for this procedure. We will be going back to the vet later this week to pick up his ashes and collar. Are we unreasonable to ask to have some of the (>$1500) surgery bill refunded? Does anyone have any experience with something like this?

Devastating deathbed declarations

quidividi — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 05:02:47 -0800

How common is it for someone to make a devastating deathbed declaration, like "I never really loved you," or "I'm not really your father?"

Showing appreciation for a classmate who has passed away?

killdevil — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 15:44:02 -0800

A classmate of mine has passed away following a horrifying accident, leaving behind a wife and infant daughter. What sort of gesture would it be appropriate for my classmates and I to make, if any, to show our appreciation for this person and to let his family know that we're thinking of them during this difficult time?

Probably-needlessly-complicated-family-drama-filter.

Tha Race Card — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:37:54 -0800

So my grandfather is really sick and I haven't seen him in four years. Up until I turned eleven or twelve, our relationship was great. After that, not so much. Long, sorry. My family is split into two, distinct groups. There is my mother's side, that includes my sister and myself and my mom, obviously. We are a fucked little unit with a long and violent history of abuse (perpetrated by mom). The other side is everyone else, basically. My grandfather is sort of a prolific manwhore. He was no less than 14 children, the youngest of whom is 6, many by different mothers, and all of these people make up my family. His "main bitch," a woman named Bea, is his second wife. The children she had with him are the relatives I'm closest too. Complicated. In any case, the two sides of my family have never really mixed. My mother resents my grandfather's second wife and Bea has never really accepted my mother as a real part of her family. This is partly because my grandfather's first wife, my mother's mother, is crazy. My grandfather's first marriage was crazy abusive, unfaithful, and codependent and ended when my grandmother literally tried to kill him. So Bea doesn't really like my mom.

Part of my mother's abuse, aside from the hitting and emotional stuff, was a sort of intense forced isolation. No visits from friends, no after school activities of any kind, no playing outside, and only select visits from a few members of my extended family: my Aunt Julia, my Uncle Oscar, and my grandfather. The days when they would visit are the few from my childhood that I remember with any sort of fondness. My mother seemed happier, certainly less angry when they were around. Distracted.

Around age twelve, my sister and I began to realize how horrible our home life was and we began reaching out for help. This meant, for me, opening up for the first time to close friends and teachers and to the extended family I was closest too: Oscar and my grandfather. For my sister, this meant burning down our house. My sister's tactic worked better than mine. While my mom isolating us had worked to some extent to hide the abuse, my sister burning down the house pretty much put it all up in everyone's faces. My uncle and my grandfather and social workers could dismiss the things I told them as tough love, but they couldn't dismiss the absolute rage it would take for a 14 year-old girl to burn every single one of her earthly possessions.

My sister was taken away and put in a group home for "troubled girls" which against all odds worked spectacularly for her. It was a safe and supportive place and now she's a kick ass lady. I, however, was left behind alone with my mom, and while the physical abuse stopped once I gained a few inches on her, the emotional stuff never did. It was pretty obvious that something wasn't right and my cries for help became more and more desperate and self-destructive. My uncle believed me but encouraged me to try to work it out with my mother. My grandfather stopped coming over pretty much as soon as I started growing tits. I've always suspected he doesn't really understand the "point" of women he can't, for whatever reason, sleep with.

The years of abuse finally ended with my mother selling our house and moving back to Honduras the year I turned 18, leaving me alone in Boston with no money and no place to go. After 18 years of shit and then a very abrupt abandonment, I was scared and depressed and crazy. Oscar convinced Bea to let me stay for the summer in the apartment she shared with my grandfather. When she came back to the country with him, two months later, she told me I had to go. My grandfather had no opinion on the matter. The only relative I had left to turn to was my crazy ass grandmother. The one who tried to kill him. I lived with her for a year. The worst year of my life. For that entire year I never heard from anyone in my family but Oscar and my sister. My mom wouldn't talk to me, Bea didn't give a fuck, and neither did my grandfather. It took me four years to recover from all of that. I'm 23 now with friends who care about me and an awesome boyfriend and an apartment that I can pay for and that no one can make me leave and a job and school and I feel like I'm getting to be whole again.

So now my grandfather's sick. Really sick. He's had two strokes and apparently isn't breathing on his own. My uncle has asked me to go see him and I'm scared. And angry. I asked my grandfather to help me when I couldn't help myself and he turned away from me. I don't know that he's asked to see me or if he's even capable of doing so. There's a part of me that feels that I have to go in case "this is it," that I owe him that. I feel like not wanting to see him makes me a bad person. I'm afraid that if I don't go my relationship with my uncle would be ruined. I'm afraid that I'll go and I'll be surrounded by all of these people who don't consider me actual family and someone will say some shit and I'll feel scared, and lonely, and depressed all over again. Or I'll just freak out and their suspicions about me and my side of the family will be confirmed. I think I have to go but I can't make myself do it. I don't know how to deal with this and I'm don't even know what the right thing to do is. Advice from people with similarly fucked families would be nice. Thanks, metafilter.

Fuck death

Bageena — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:58:49 -0800

Both of my wife's parents died. Her dad first in January, now her mom in September. My wife is the oldest child. No will was left. What do we do? I tried this question before but I put way too much information on it and I had to get it removed. I thought we'd figured out what steps to take, but we're back at square one. There's several properties, several vehicles, life insurance policies, monies in bank accounts, bonds, et cetera. My questions are;
1. Is there any way to do this without a lawyer?
2. If not, is there cheap or free legal counsel I can find online or where we live, in Arizona?
3. What should we be expecting in the way of hurdles? Probate, taxes, things like that.

I don't know. I'm hyper-depressed. I really didn't want to handle all of this shit and with all the family in-fighting, I wish the state would take it all. However, my wife has a vested interest I guess, so here I am. Please help Mefi.

(I'm in AZ)
(If your an attorney who can help me, please, by all means, drop me an e-mail)

Is there a friendlier phrase for "disposing of the estate?"

Pronoiac — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:50:20 -0800

I'm helping a friend dispose of a relative's estate. She left a lot of stuff to move out of the house. We're not sure how best to do this. We'd like to clean it up quickly, but without undervaluing anything. So far, it's furniture, baskets, rugs, African masks & bows, paintings, books, & several kitchens' worth of kitchenware.

We're currently working on: sorting everything into piles of Good stuff, Questionable, and Obvious Trash, & throwing out Obvious Trash, for lack of space.

And then: we're not sure. Hold a garage sale? Hire an appraiser or estate sales people (How much would this cost? Should I seek recommendations or references?)? Take stuff to an eBay store? Contact the Goodwill?

I noticed this previous question, but I'm still not clear on the interactions or the best order.

This is in the Bay Area.

Can I have your tips about entering into the holiday season right after my dad's death?

NikitaNikita — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:33:07 -0800

Death, mourning, family, and holidays: How to prepare for the holidays in a post-Dad world? Can I have your tips about entering into the holiday season right after my dad's death?

My Dad died a few weeks ago, somewhat unexpectedly. He was 71 and he had some heart problems for some time, but I didn't expect him to go now, since he had been so sick but then recovered many times in the past.

For the holidays, it was always my mom, my dad and I as a core unit (I'm an only child). For example, in recent years' thanksgivings we might have had one or two of my friends come out to dinner with us, but otherwise it was really just the 3 of us. The Christmas tradition was just the three of us meeting up in a random US city to spend time together, exchange gifts, eat dinner out and see a new city over the course of a few days.

I'm going through a lot/feeling really weird and out of sorts right now. I expect it to be worse over the holidays. Are there any tips on how to prepare ?

One Thanksgiving option is an invite from a family friend to join them, but I feel like this might make me more depressed seeing a happy "whole/complete" family altogether. If that makes sense? But then I wonder if it will feel even more lonely with just my mom and I. Additionally, it would be a good time around Thanksgiving to go to my parents' house and work on sorting out my dad's paperwork, etc, but my mom is torn between getting that done and getting away from the house to clear her hear.

Thanks in advance for any advice here.

Can I forgive myself for leaving my dying mother's side?

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:40:57 -0800

My mother is dying. How can I forgive myself for the guilt of leaving her bedside? She was moved to hospice a week ago and at the time, was given "2-10 days" from two different doctors. I stayed with her for a week and then flew back home. Part of the reason I flew back is because I have a toddler and part of the reason is that it was extremely distressing for me. She has pneumonia, in addition to complications from several small strokes and the underlying issue is non-small cell lung cancer that metastasized to her bones. Her dying process is anything but "peaceful" - the noises, smells and deterioration of her body was making me physically ill. I had some "quiet time" with her to say my goodbyes and try to let her know it was time for her to be at peace (like everyone told me she might need to hear), but as time wore on, I couldn't stomach it anymore. I feel like I would be altered forever if I continued to witness this. However, I also feel extremely guilty for "abandoning" her during her last days. Well-meaning family and friends have told me it's "ok" and that it's a personal choice, etc. I switch between being comfortable with my decision to thinking she is "hanging on" because I'm not physically present with her.

More background: my mom was diagnosed last Christmas and immediately made legal documents putting me in charge. She went through treatment up to a few days before she fell and was admitted to a hospital. After a month, she was moved to hospice once we finally realized she was dying. This last step has been a blow to us because she was so "normal" up until her fall, so although we knew we would eventually be in this place, we didn't expect it NOW (who does, right?). I am the youngest of 3 kids, but she is mostly estranged from the other 2, plus my mom and I have always had a very close relationship, although we live 2000 miles away from each other. I have made 6-8 trips to see her this year and during her hospital stay, was there for more than half that time.

The problem I have is that I hear so many people say that there is "no way" they would leave their mother's side on her deathbed and I thought I would be the same way, but I just lost it and instead of extending my flight, came home instead. I feel like I am justifying coming back, even though nobody is judging me! I have contemplated flying back to her, just so I can be there ... but in reality, I'm torn. I want to be there, but I don't want to see/hear her death.

Please ... help me figure out a way to comes to terms with my guilt.

Help me understand war criminals!

hasna — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:21:27 -0800

Which books help me get into the psyche of war criminals, suicide bombers, etc? I am currently looking for books that reveal the offender's inner motives, perspective, or mindset about their crimes, and the context in which they committed them. Not ones that simply justify the crimes, but explore the human side of the offenders.

I'm specifically interested in books about events in the past century: Rwanda, Palestine, Iraq, the Holocaust... although any outstanding books dating further back in history are welcome, too. And I'd prefer if they weren't overly heavy with advanced psych vocabulary - those meant for the layperson are preferred.

I currently have "The Road to Martyr's Square" and "Machete Season: The Killers in Rwanda Speak", so any along those lines, either biography, autobiography, or historical fiction.

Thanks!

Make me deathly pale!

Captain Cardanthian! — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:13:25 -0800

DeathFilter: How can I make my arms, chest, and neck look paler without getting white stuff everywhere? My Halloween costume this year is Death from Sandman. I'm mostly set except that my skin is still moderately tan from summer. Is there anything I can apply that will make my skin lighter without being horribly messy? I'll be wearing a black tank top and black jeans, possibly putting on and taking off a jacket and gloves, and I have to drive to a party, so there will be a lot of opportunities for smearing/getting on everything. I'm imagining some type of powder, possibly, or a non-oily makeup that could be set or sealed--is there anything that fits that description?

I'm mainly worried about making sure my face blends with the rest of my body. Ideally the resulting skin tone would be similar to this girl's. This face/chest contrast is what I'm trying to avoid. Googling and the AskMe archives have yielded nothing. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Bonus points: best quality brand of colored hair spray?

I don't know how to deal with this

granted — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:45:46 -0800

There is a half-dead mouse in my room. Instruct me on what to do as if I were a little child. My very excited cat woke me up this morning to show off the seemingly dead mouse he had left in my doorway. I'm not proud, but when I saw it I groggily thought, "fuck this," and went back to sleep for another hour. When I woke up again, it was gone. I theorized that one of my roommates had done the responsible thing and picked it up, or the cat had carried it off again.

I got home this evening and curled up in bed, and then my cat seemed very preoccupied with something in the corner of the room, and then I heard terrified squeaking. My "don't kill the innocent creature" reflex kicked in and I yelled, "NO!!" and sprayed the cat with the spray bottle and he ran off.

So long story short, either the mouse from this morning or a different mouse is half-dead in the corner of my room. I feel totally paralyzed. I can't bear to watch/hear my cat finish it off but I don't want to just leave it there to die a slow painful death. Finishing it off myself is out of the question. I am scared to scoop it up and take it outside, because that just means it will die a slow painful death out of eye/earshot, and that makes me feel like a Good German. I am the only one home and it is almost one am. Tell me what to do, please. This is really embarrassing.

How is 'predeceased' evaluated in a will when 2 deaths occur very close together

HiroProtagonist — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:20:13 -0800

If person A leaves something of value to person B in their will, with the stipulation that it be left to person C if B should predecease A, what happens if A & B die semi-simultaneously [say both are in the same car accident] and it can't be determined who died first? Presumably if it could be proved that B died after A, then B's heirs would inherit, but if there are no witnesses, proving time of death isn't [as far as I know] terribly accurate.

Are there legal 'tiebreakers' such as "you must be alive at probate to inherit", or "if the time of deaths can't be distinguished, B is considered to have predeceased A"?

Or do the heirs have to fight it out in court?

If you have knowledge of the legal situation, please state the jurisdiction you're referring to.

I'm asking this out of idle curiosity, not because I need legal advice.

Everybody dies. How do they look?

kbanas — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 07:16:43 -0800

I'm toying with an idea for a short story or maybe a long story or maybe no story, but the idea has led me to a point where I have a question for those of you who have some knowledge about science and biology. Read on, brave adventurer! So, let's say I have a magic button, and I press that button and every single living thing on the planet dies instantly. I understand that the definition of what is "alive" is a subject of some debate for certain corner cases, but since I am not a scientist and I lack the knowledge necessary to carry on an informed debate on the topic, let's just assume that by "alive" I guess I mean that "it is a commonly held belief among people who study such things that this thing is alive."

So, I would think that this would include people, plants, animals, bacteria, and a laundry list of other things I'm not thinking about.

Ok, so we have our magic button and we know what it does.

Let's say I press that button and everything drops dead where it stands. Hooray!

Now, I know that when a person normally dies, there is a process of decay that works to erode the integrity of said corpse over time.

My question is, how would this process be altered by the lack of any other living things existing? It would be my assumption that this would largely apply to bacteria and things that maybe eat away at a body after it is no longer alive?

So, maybe to phrase it a better way....

Let's say I was able to magically visit this now-dead Earth some 20 or 30 years after I had pressed my magic button. If I encountered the body of a person who had dropped dead on the street in Anytown, USA, what is it likely to look like? I assume that perhaps the elements - sun, rain, snow, wind - might have served to work it down to a skeleton regardless of any other living factors. Right? Ok, but let's say a person dropped dead while being largely protected from the elements - like in a house or in an office or something. What is it likely to look like? Would the lack of bacteria and such work to preserve it such that it would look almost freshly dead? Or would it perhaps look mummified?

Maybe you get the idea. I want to visit a dead planet some decades after the "event" - and I'm curious about how I would find the people and animals and such to look. Get it?

How to write to someone who's dying?

stenoboy — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 06:16:48 -0800

How do I write a thank-you card to a sister-in-law who is dying? My ex's sister is dying from breast cancer at the young age of 50. It's all very harrowing and awful. She was wonderful to me and my ex when he had his own health crises and has continued to be generous and kind to me.

Now that her time here seems to be limited, I wanted to write and tell her how grateful I am for all she's done for me in the past. The problem is, I don't want to mention the fact - or allude to the fact - that she's in a bad way and this might be our last contact. I can't see a way round this in such a "thank you for all you've ever done" type communication. While I don't think she's in denial about what's happening, I don't want to be making it all sound so final. The aim is to be light and chatty yet I want to get in there that what she did for us was amazing.

Has anyone ever written a similar thing in similar circumstances?

Get in mah belly, belly

chalbe — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:58:03 -0800

Safe to eat raw refrozen meats that've been defrosted several times? I bought a slab of vacuum sealed raw pork belly and tried to turn this specimen into delicious BACON, but due to scheduling problems, etc. never got around to actually cooking it.

I'd defrost the meat in the fridge in the morning, only to find out later that night that I couldn't cook and 3 days later end up throwing it back into the freezer. The slab's gone through about 3 of these cycles of defrosting and refreezing.

Is it still safe to eat?

A ladder left behind

Funmonkey1 — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:55:24 -0800

[FearFilter]: 15 years ago I experienced an imminent death/serious injury moment that turned out ok. However, I still feel physical chills and tingly feelings even thinking about it. Am I the only one or is this common? Thoughts and stories appreciated. The science is a huge bonus. Short background. Many years ago some friends and I decided to put a ladder out the 3rd floor house in order to gain access to the roof.

I clearly recall the way back down the ladder and it is no mistake, balance was against me. That 1 second of fighting against of gravity while looking down is ingrained in my mind. The moment is etched forever in the brain and triggers immediate fear and physical response if I focus on it. WTF? After so long?

I can't be the only one that has such a memory that stirs such strong physical and emotion reaction. What is it called and how does one not be so jolted?

How to express condolences with estranged neighbor?

keith0718 — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 14:26:41 -0800

Our somewhat estranged neighbors just lost their 19 y/o son in a tragic accident. How do we communicate our sympathies? We had a small disagreement with them when we first moved here and because of that bad impression we've never really developed a relationship with them. We're civil, but there's tension. I'm going out of my mind trying to think of an appropriate response to their inconceivable loss. They have tons of support from family and friends. They don't need ours...but I want to communicate our condolences in an appropriate manner.

Facing Death: Breaking the News

potato — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:34:58 -0800

Facing death: I have received a medical estimate of dying within a year, but this is known only to me (within my circle of family and friends, including my wife). I am so lost as to how to break the news in a caring, non-stressful way. I am completely at peace with my fate. I am in my mid-70's and, while I would love to live a few years longer, I have no regrets for the life I have lived and do not feel cheated in any way. I only want to minimize the stress on my family and friends. (I realize this may sound egotistical, but I know they will be quite upset.)

I really dread this--how do I approach it? You can be quite basic in your advice.

I want to commune with the dead

ollyollyoxenfree — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 18:22:37 -0800

What are some good official sources for post-catastrophe, post-accident, or post-emergency reporting? In Laurence Gonzales' Deep Survival he writes the following:

Commune with the Dead. If you could collect the dead around you and sit by the campfire and listen to their tales, you might find yourself in the best survival school of all. Since you can't, read the accident reports in your chosen field of recreation. Accidents in North American Mountaineering; the National Speleological Society's newsletter; River Safety Report; and numerous other publications (such as the Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report) and Web sites not only provide reading that is by turns gripping, hilarious, and heart-wrenching, but also tell you the mistakes other people have made. Then you can be on the lookout for similar situations and perhaps avoid them. (Wasn't this the cave where those scuba divers drowned ...?)

What are some other similar official reporting in this area? Thanks.

Similar recent AskMeFi question.

Where to find a listing of all the deaths in Shakespeare?

starvingartist — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 17:36:36 -0800

I seek a tome of knowledge pertaining to the Bard of Avalon, one William Shakespeare hight by name. To meet my wishes, it is meet said tome contains a listing of all personae dramatica in each play who meet their end, timely or no. Doth such a book exist? I am writing a play about the death and violence in Shakespeare's plays. I do not have time to read the entire canon back to front and list each character's death myself. Given the surfeit of reference books about the Bard, surely there must be one that contains this information? Do you know?

When do children develop a sense of their own mortality?

Tchad — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:11:41 -0800

At what age does a child realize his or her mortality? I have a very good friend who is doing research for some writing and asked me about this.

My first reaction was that it depends on how they are exposed to death - if at all.
I have always had a sense of being finite, but chalk it up to having been to a number of funerals and having seen a number of family members in their last moments as a child. It always felt very real and plain-as-day to me. Other friends are horrified at my experience in ways I never was.

So... Are there any academic papers, links, books, or writings that address this? I would like to pass them on to her and read them myself.

I am looking for the whole range - from children who fall in the average range to extremes.