A close, long time friend just got the C word from his doctor. This is not a good prognosis, it's perhaps weeks/months to live. He and his family are more than likely going through various stages of fear and emotional paralysis, just my assumption as I've yet to speak with them personally, just got the news. How can I best support them from a distance? [more inside]
posted by diode
on Jun 25, 2014 -
So I've noticed a convention that using someone's name--and only their name--as the subject line in the email message means that something pretty severe has happened to them. Like, if Jane Bloggs had a healthy baby, the subject line would be something like "Jane had a baby!", but if the subject line was just "Jane" or "Jane Bloggs" or "Aunt Jane" (assuming I'm Jane's nephew) then either Jane or her baby or both would be in the (N)ICU or more likely the morgue. I'm wondering where this started. Any help?
posted by tellumo
on Jun 17, 2014 -
I think I'm about to have to deal with the loss of a beloved pet cat. I am not sure how to best handle dealing with her remains. I want to keep them. Can anyone help me figure this out? [more inside]
posted by Because
on Apr 16, 2014 -
My best friend called me last night to say that her father had died of a heart attack yesterday. She was clearly still in shock. She and her husband drove in overnight and as soon as she calls I'll leave work to go spend the day with her and her family. I don't want to show up empty-handed. Besides food for lunch, what should I bring with me? [more inside]
posted by SeedStitch
on Apr 4, 2014 -
After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away? [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0
on Mar 26, 2014 -
Background: I was in the middle of doing a mild restoration on my little brother's bike two years ago (2000 ZX-7R) when he died very unexpectedly. I don't know what to do with it now and just realized that it hasn't been registered since 2008. [more inside]
posted by snsranch
on Mar 10, 2014 -
A dear friend of mine who lives far away has lost two of her three cats to sudden, upsetting illness, in the space of a week. She has implied that she's not interested in talking about it, which I can understand. [more inside]
posted by Sokka shot first
on Jan 8, 2014 -
My brother and I are sitting down with my parents tomorrow to discuss specifics of what they've put in place for end of life planning. What should we ask? [more inside]
posted by chiababe
on Nov 29, 2013 -
So my sister-in-law had a stroke last week and passed away on Friday. My niece's are 7 and 19. The older one, of course groks it, but I'm not sure how much the younger one is getting. [more inside]
posted by jacy
on Nov 19, 2013 -
My Dad just called and my Mom unexpectedly died in her sleep at 62. We need help in knowing what to do. [more inside]
posted by RoadScholar
on Nov 13, 2013 -
In the event that I have any control over it whatsoever, I want to die well. Recent family events and yesterday's NPR segments (1
) on end-of-life issues raise a fresh wave of questions about how to plan now
for the best possible end later on. Is there anything in the works that looks like a living will but allows us in our younger healthier years to document the preference "if a, b or c happen, just guide me to the light with morphine"? I want to be able to die as peacefully and (perhaps almost as) easily as my pets can. And perhaps I should reserve this additional loaded question for a separate post, but what the hell: why do people care so much? [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife
on Aug 26, 2013 -
My Mom passed in March. She thought I had a POA. I can't find one. Her will is old, and predates my father's death. I don't believe I am mentioned in it, but I am next of kin. There is no Estate. She does, however, have a smallish bank account that I would like, as her only child, to take possession of. Is there any way for me to do this in NYS without creating an Estate, which would probably eat the cash in the bank account anyway? I can't stand to think of the bank just keeping her money. Thanks for any and all help. If it's important, she passed in OR, and the bank is national.
posted by Meep! Eek!
on Aug 8, 2013 -
Anybody remember this? A boy rides his horse in the rain, it gets stuck in the mud, the boy screams his horse's name (Philip), a lot, while the figure of Death looks on? [more inside]
posted by Mister Moofoo
on Aug 5, 2013 -
An older family member has died. We'll be traveling to attend the viewing and funeral, which will be heavily religious. My 7-year-old daughter didn't know this family member, but has reacted very negatively to the idea of death in the past (long stretches spent sobbing in my arms). We are agnostic, with one of us leaning heavily towards atheism. I could use suggestions on how to talk with my little girl about these things. [more inside]
posted by moira
on Aug 2, 2013 -
A hundred years ago, if you had an infection that we would today treat with antibiotics, what was the typical prognosis ? Death ? [more inside]
posted by k5.user
on Jul 1, 2013 -
My parrot Scooby died a week ago. I am still in a horrible state of mourning. My wife is over it. She keeps telling me to get over it too. YANMT. What can I do to move on? I loved Scooby so very much. I have to force myself to eat every day. I've been drinking a lot. I can't stop thinking about her and what she was like and did. I dream about her death every night. I think it's affecting my physical health.
posted by Splunge
on Jun 12, 2013 -
I wrote this question about my Aunt
. As it turned out, I just wrote back a very polite reply -- "thank you for your good wishes" ...I was polite. I felt good about this. Thank you for all the helpful answers.
My Aunt wrote me again -- long story inside. Thank you for taking the time to read it. [more inside]
posted by Lescha
on Mar 26, 2013 -
Can signing an 'Authorization For Cremation' form somehow make me responsible for my deceased father's debt? [more inside]
posted by KevinSkomsvold
on Mar 25, 2013 -
For the last 6 or 7 days, I've been fixated on death, and not in a suicidal context. How do people normally handle constant thoughts about their mortality, and how can I stop this from crippling my ability to "live?" [more inside]
posted by Ashen
on Mar 19, 2013 -
My friend died last week. We had been living in different countries for the past few months; we were still in contact up until a few weeks ago. His death was sudden and unexpected. He was far too young to die. I can't go to any of the memorials (he was one of those people who knew like, thousands of people, so people seemingly everywhere on earth are doing stuff) and I won't be going to the funeral. I didn't know his family and even though we were roommates, we had very few friends in common. [more inside]
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper
on Feb 27, 2013 -
I love my dog. Every once in a while, I feel utterly heartbroken that I will most likely outlive him. While it doesn't happen often and it's not overwhelming, and I realize that it is perfectly natural to be sad about something like that, can you give me advice about how to turn these thoughts into something positive? [more inside]
posted by halogen
on Jan 7, 2013 -
If you keep a diary or other secret papers, do you have a plan for what happens to it if something happens to you? [more inside]
posted by dawkins_7
on Jan 5, 2013 -
What do I do when a person is eligible for COBRA insurance but has passed away before getting papers and signing up? [more inside]
posted by meowzilla
on Dec 8, 2012 -
My husband is losing his father in a few weeks. He is currently spending some time with him at a hospice and is away from home to deal with chaotic family issues surrounding this. When he returns, I imagine he will need time to decompress and I want to make that easy. Please give me suggestions on how I can make that easier for him or what you've appreciated in a similar situation.
posted by dean winchester
on Dec 3, 2012 -
My ex-boyfriend's dad just passed away. What, if anything, should I do? [more inside]
posted by csox
on Nov 16, 2012 -
My mother is going to die, probably very soon. How do I deal with waiting for it to happen? [more inside]
posted by heurtebise
on Aug 27, 2012 -
My father's parents just passed away, two weeks apart exactly. How do I support my dad through this time? [more inside]
posted by dil.emma
on Aug 22, 2012 -
My 90 year old grandmother is barely conscious, rarely eating, and is losing her mental faculties. I visit her every lunchtime to try and get her to eat. My mother (her daughter) takes the evening shift for dinnertime. I'm not coping well. Any suggestions to help me make this easier, so I'm not sobbing my heart out every day? [more inside]
posted by malibustacey9999
on Aug 14, 2012 -
My husband has a few more months before cancer takes his energy, and then his life. We have a 17 month old son. My husband plans to write some letters to our son, but beyond that, I am not sure what to do to help my son know his father. Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by Mozzie
on Aug 13, 2012 -
My estranged father passed away last Sunday. I've decided to attend the funeral. Please help me conduct myself with something resembling grace. Overly complex snowflakey stuff inside. [more inside]
posted by Ephelump Jockey
on Jul 31, 2012 -
I googled someone I've been dating for almost 3 weeks and discovered that they had a sibling die in a work related accident just over a year ago. Now I feel I have deeply personal and traumatic information about them without it having been given freely and not sure what to do with it. [more inside]
posted by Dynex
on Jul 13, 2012 -
My husband died recently. We were together for decades and have school-age children. His passing involved severe trauma, and we have social support and frequent therapy appointments to get us through the turmoil. Emotionally, we're holding up.
My question is about getting our affairs in order. [more inside]
posted by Fichereader
on Jun 16, 2012 -
Knowledge-based hope is much needed. Since my first plea
-- which helped a lot, really, this month of May has been sorrowful for Maria João and for me. A metastatic brain tumor (around 3 cms) was detected and removed. Gamma-knife surgery is next.
Tomorrow starts the search for other cancerous tumors in her body. We both feel, against all odds, that we will be lucky.
But what should we do? What should we hope for? Statistics are againsts us but we love each other truly.
Two months ago we found a beautiful house to move into. We could move in come July, after all the tests are made.
What should we do? What should our attitude be? Should we move or stay put? Should we change country? Should we prepare to die? Or live as much as we still can?
Desperate questions need realistic answers. We're fighting for our lives here. Please tell us, knowingly, how to behave.
For what it's worth - usually nothing - I think this time we'll be lucky enough to survive. Whatever happens.
posted by MiguelCardoso
on May 15, 2012 -
News coverage of the Arab Spring routinely has reports (with audio-gunshots) of state actors shooting at crowds of demonstrators. Often it seems like very few people are injured/killed. Is this confirmation bias on my part, are there mass casualties, or are the folks "shooting" at the crowd (ie not at the actual people) ? [more inside]
posted by k5.user
on Apr 16, 2012 -
An acquaintance from high school recently died at the age of 22. His family decided to keep the cause of death private. Help me out here -- why would they choose to do that? [more inside]
posted by victory_laser
on Feb 20, 2012 -
Post mortem toxicology tests - why does it take so long for results to be delivered? [more inside]
posted by lampshade
on Feb 13, 2012 -
Help me find the name of that brief interactive “game” where the narrator (speaking aloud, British I think) describes the actions of the player, marching us toward our inevitable demise… until we decide to disobey his narrative. [more inside]
posted by scamper
on Feb 11, 2012 -
My father passed away recently. We were estranged and I feel really strange about how his family handled his passing. I'm looking for advice about contacting them, or just leaving things be. Help! [more inside]
posted by carmenghia
on Jan 24, 2012 -
In a small city in Illinois, last night we saw a hearse in the driveway of a neighbor down the block. No other cars, police, or activity were in evidence. We know this person is elderly, but we don't actually know her. Because I've seen a cab come to her house, I believe she doesn't drive, and I have seen a second, somewhat less elderly person come by and do yard work for her occasionally. This second person's car wasn't there last night either. We don't actually see our neighbor very often, especially in winter, so if she's still there, we might not see her in passing for a while.
I was under the impression that if someone had died at their home, an ambulance would transport them; I don't think I've ever seen a hearse at a private home before. Was this the end for my neighbor, or did her hypothetical niece the hypothetical mortician pop in for supper in a company car or something? Anyone have any knowledge about hearse customs?
posted by Occula
on Dec 27, 2011 -
Which of the Babar books deal with death? This question stems from a childhood anecdote that goes a little something like this . . . [more inside]
posted by jason's_planet
on Sep 27, 2011 -