90 posts tagged with death and grief.
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Should I refund contributions for my cat's pancreatitis fundraiser?

We started a fundraiser to help pay for my kitty's hospitalization, but he died less than a day into the campaign. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by Menomena on Aug 27, 2016 - 23 answers

Guilt and sadness

About six weeks ago, a friend/ex-fwb wrote a facebook message to me that made me uncomfortable - it sexualized our friendship and didn't respect the boundaries I had set for it. This was after a few times when I had told him he was going too far, and I finally laid into him. 4 weeks later, he committed suicide. I have so many weird feelings about this, and I want advice about processing the death of someone and the guilt I feel about my last interactions with him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 21, 2016 - 12 answers

My dad died and I don't want to do anything

My dad died. I have so much to do in the aftermath of his passing... but I just don't want to do anything. I've always been a procrastinator, but never to this degree. Please help me come up with a game plan. [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Jul 25, 2016 - 14 answers

I'm not ready to lose my father, I don't want to be alone

My father has been diagnosed with cancer and will probably die within the next year (two years if we're lucky), all I think about is about his impending death. I'm an only child and, to me, his death will mean that I'm completely alone in the world. I am so scared of losing him, but I am literally helpless. I feel like I'm waiting for him to die and I don't know how to cope with it. Any advice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 2, 2016 - 12 answers

Dealing with Unexpected Death

Last week my Mom died very unexpectedly. It doesn't feel real. How can I start believing it so it doesn't crash in on me later? [more inside]
posted by aclevername on Jun 21, 2016 - 21 answers

Help me help my favourite person.

How can I help a young child who has recently lost a parent? [more inside]
posted by futureisunwritten on May 26, 2016 - 21 answers

Grief at work

How the fuck do I handle grief and grief police? [more inside]
posted by vers on May 22, 2016 - 24 answers

How to support my grieving mother when I'm grieving too?

My mother is not coping well with my grandmother's impending death. My mother and I have a complicated and not particularly close relationship, and her coping style is hitting a lot of nerves about the crappier aspects of my childhood and I'm finding it really difficult to support her while keeping my own head above water. Any advice or stories from people who can relate would be appreciated. Wall of snowflakes below the cut. [more inside]
posted by hotcoroner on May 2, 2016 - 9 answers

How to start caring again

He died and I'm feeling stuck. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2016 - 14 answers

Resources for dealing with the loss of an alcoholic parent

My father is in end-stage liver failure due to alcoholism, and I'm having trouble finding good books/websites/forums/etc. for dealing with the emotional component of this situation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2016 - 10 answers

Useful Guidance for An Unexpected Loss

I emailed my therapist for an appointment, and it bounced. When I googled her to see if contact info changed, the first link was her obit (Nov 2015). My therapist died. I just found out, and I am pretty wrecked. Thoughts? [more inside]
posted by j_curiouser on Jan 28, 2016 - 11 answers

How do I keep going?

The last year has been filled with brutal loss and now there's more. Please help me cope with lots of death and an emotionally stunted family. [more inside]
posted by stoneweaver on Sep 10, 2015 - 10 answers

Happy or Sad

How do I deal with my unexpected strong feelings about my estranged father's death in light of my recent discovery that I am pregnant? [more inside]
posted by dissolvedgirl22 on Jul 27, 2015 - 19 answers

Memoirs and philosophical works on death, loss

Please recommended memoirs, philosophy, and/or classics on coping with death, the meaning of life, etc. [more inside]
posted by pumpkinlatte on Jul 14, 2015 - 23 answers

Family abandon me when I was at my lowest point. Should I cut them off?

My mother passed away last year of April and as a result I had a mental breakdown. I wasn't myself..I had overwhelming grief and I was in a deep depression. Mind you I was in a deep depression and calling out for help..my family abandon and basically treated me like a black sheep. [more inside]
posted by TheBronxGirl on May 21, 2015 - 31 answers

death of a grandparent

My father was just given a very bleak prognosis. Of all the things that are upsetting, I am most distraught by the thought that my toddler will not remember my father. I am pregnant and there is a chance that my son (due in June) will never even meet my dad. I'm looking for advice on how to manage my sadness about this. [more inside]
posted by avocado_of_merriment on Mar 24, 2015 - 26 answers

Dealing with grief and stupid things people say

My grandmother passed away last week. The viewing and funeral have already been held. I am now trying to deal with people who mean well, but say some incredibly dumb things. What are some good tactics? [more inside]
posted by intheigloo on Mar 14, 2015 - 24 answers

Grieving a mentor

A mentor of mine passed away pretty suddenly a few weeks ago. I attended her funeral, cried, wrote out some of my thoughts, and think about her from time to time while listening to music that reminds me of her. This isn't affecting my daily function, but it has been on the back burner for a while. Now what? [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Oct 31, 2014 - 8 answers

How do I overcome the grief from my cat's death

What books/activities/other resources will help me get past this horrible sadness. [more inside]
posted by Librarypt on Oct 10, 2014 - 39 answers

Grief and the elderly

How do the elderly process loss? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2014 - 16 answers

Looking for good grief support groups in NYC

My friend's Dad died earlier this year, and she's working through it. She wants to find a good grief support group in New York, preferably in lower Manhattan or Brooklyn. She works a lot, and the few she knows about meet in times when she just can't go. [more inside]
posted by WStraub on Jul 23, 2014 - 1 answer

My dog is dead, and I'm a mess

What can I do in the short and long-term to process and cope with my dog's death? [more inside]
posted by ablazingsaddle on Jun 27, 2014 - 44 answers

What does "I don't want to talk about it" mean, practically speaking?

A dear friend of mine who lives far away has lost two of her three cats to sudden, upsetting illness, in the space of a week. She has implied that she's not interested in talking about it, which I can understand. [more inside]
posted by Sokka shot first on Jan 8, 2014 - 20 answers

Someone else's grief: office edition

My boss' mother is dying. It's not about me, but: what am I not doing that I should be doing? What have I not even thought of? [more inside]
posted by terretu on Dec 13, 2013 - 15 answers

Help me miss my Dad

My Dad died this week after a long illness. I don't feel a thing, except maybe tired. How do I get my feelings back? Are there resources for people like me? [more inside]
posted by SecondSock on Nov 30, 2013 - 36 answers

A question I wish I weren't asking

We put our 20-year-old cat to sleep at home last night. I had read about what to expect, but did not anticipate her struggling so desperately throughout the procedure. Now my mind keeps going back to those awful moments over and over. I’m wondering if anyone here has had a similar experience, or just has some thoughts on how to process this. [more inside]
posted by whistle pig on Nov 20, 2013 - 41 answers

Complicated Death, Complicated Grief

In mid-May, my mother, who was the primary caregiver for my father with Alzheimer's, died suddenly. We spent weeks trying to get my father into a suitable situation, which quickly ended up in his death (a long story, so please bear with me). I'm looking for ideas on how to cope with uncertainty amid tragedy. [more inside]
posted by carrienation on Oct 24, 2013 - 21 answers

Guess vs Ask, grieving edition

Dealing with grief, unsure how to ask friends for support, if at all. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2013 - 13 answers

Help me live well while my father slowly dies...

My father was given a terminal diagnosis almost a decade ago. I am so lucky that he is still here. But I'm exhausted from living with the specter of his imminent death all these years. And I feel like I've been missing out on living my own life. How do I find more space for myself, even as I try to cherish the time I have with him (which now does seem to be running short)? [more inside]
posted by zahava on Jun 30, 2013 - 12 answers

How to help a grieving student?

I am a (new) professor at a small, rural university. One of my students has had to take an emergency leave due to a death in their family. Aside from assuring them that they need not think about their schoolwork at all, and that we'll work it out when they're ready, is there anything else I can do to support them? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 26, 2013 - 19 answers

What was the most comforting condolence sentence you ever heard?

Has someone important to you passed away? What was the most comforting/most respectful thing anyone said to you when that happened? I work with the elderly, who die at an accelerated rate. 98% of the time, I genuinely care about the deceased and would like to give comfort to the surviving family. Since this comes up a lot, I feel as if I'm repeating the same phrases over and over. I need more options. I'm specifically asking for things people said to you that were kind. [more inside]
posted by Lately Gone on Mar 21, 2013 - 79 answers

How did you let go and forgive after a loss and a breakup?

Death of a parent and a breakup- how to disentangle the two, get a virtual lobotomy regarding the breakup, and for heavens sake just fucking move on regarding the breakup. [more inside]
posted by xm on Feb 27, 2013 - 20 answers

My wife died. Is it OK if I *don't* want to talk about it all the time?

My wife died. Everyone keeps telling me I should have someone to talk to - a counselor or someone from hospice or whoever. I don't really feel like I need or want that, though. Am I harming myself by handling this on my own? [more inside]
posted by tylerkaraszewski on Feb 17, 2013 - 67 answers

Recurring dream

I keep having the same dream over and over. Has anyone else had this? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Feb 15, 2013 - 18 answers

I'd like to give something to my cat sitter in a horrible situation.

My cat has died, which was horrible. Worse, I wasn't even home. I'd like to send my cat sitter something. [more inside]
posted by AmandaA on Jan 8, 2013 - 9 answers

No light at the end?

Have you ever not only been unable to see the light and the end of the tunnel, and don't care anymore if you do? [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on Dec 11, 2012 - 20 answers

How can I stop traumatic flashbacks linked to my pet's death?

My pet died suddenly. How can I stop traumatic flashbacks and focus on happy memories? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2012 - 26 answers

How to handle estranged father's funeral?

My estranged father passed away last Sunday. I've decided to attend the funeral. Please help me conduct myself with something resembling grace. Overly complex snowflakey stuff inside. [more inside]
posted by Ephelump Jockey on Jul 31, 2012 - 23 answers

How can she be gone when she was just here and I see her everywhere?

My mom died. Now what? (In the abstract, existential sense.) [more inside]
posted by ApathyGirl on Jul 31, 2012 - 28 answers

My mom has died, I will be ok, is it ok to know that?

My mom has died, I will be ok, is it ok to know that? [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on Jul 16, 2012 - 47 answers

How do I stay sober?

How do you stay sober through difficult times? [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on May 10, 2012 - 25 answers

Seeking short Fables / Parables about love, relationships, death and loss of friends.

Seeking short Fables / Parables about love, relationships, death and loss of friends. [more inside]
posted by audio on Apr 8, 2012 - 5 answers

I am losing everyone

TLDR: How can I keep from going off the deep end in light of repeated stressors over a compressed period of time? [more inside]
posted by TestamentToGrace on Nov 16, 2011 - 17 answers

feeling responsible for a friend's death

How do you deal with suicide when you feel (or are made to feel) partially responsible? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Oct 9, 2011 - 27 answers

Help me be a good friend to a grieving family in need, please.

A friend is about to pass away. Please help me be as supportive and helpful as possible for her husband and young daughter during the next few months. [more inside]
posted by zarq on Aug 23, 2011 - 26 answers

It wasn't really that nice knowing you...

How can I comfort the loved ones of a dying person I don't like? And the dying person themselves? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by katyggls on Aug 19, 2011 - 26 answers

support for boy whose mother died at childbirth

Does anyone know of a book or article that might be of help to a child and his family (he will soon be 12) whose mother died at childbirth. He is the nephew of a dear friend, the boy really values family and as he is maturing, realizes more and more, that each birthday also marks the anniversary date of his mothers' death. He is was adopted by a paternal aunt and is being raised in a loving family. If anyone has suggestions on how best to support the boy and his family, it is much appreciated. If anyone has first hand experience with this, your knowledge would be much appreciated. The issue is clearly much bigger than his birthday, but is there any way to help him emotionally to deal with this reality as he matures.
posted by jennstra on Jul 23, 2011 - 10 answers

Supporting a friend who may lose a pet

How to support and comfort a friend through the illness/loss of their pets? What helped you? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 5, 2011 - 19 answers

How can I survive my mother's death?

How can I survive my mother's death? [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on Feb 13, 2011 - 36 answers

Grief vs Sexuality

How do I reconcile my interests and passions with creativity and human sexuality, in the face of death, grief, and tragedy? Are there any thoughtful heartfelt resources from those who have talked about the two? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Jan 3, 2011 - 10 answers

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