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59 posts tagged with death and dying. (View popular tags)
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Help me make the most of the time my mother has left.

My mother has terminal cancer, and I don't know how much time she has left. Others with experience losing a parent: what would I regret not doing with this time? [more inside]
posted by joan cusack the second on Jul 28, 2014 - 27 answers

Friend's Dad is Dying of Emphysema...

My friend's dad is dying of emphysema. I'm not sure what stage he's in. I don't think he's ready to die yet, but he's not in good shape at all... [more inside]
posted by ifranzen on Sep 16, 2013 - 12 answers

Life is fatal. Why isn't it easier to die gracefully?

In the event that I have any control over it whatsoever, I want to die well. Recent family events and yesterday's NPR segments (1, 2) on end-of-life issues raise a fresh wave of questions about how to plan now for the best possible end later on. Is there anything in the works that looks like a living will but allows us in our younger healthier years to document the preference "if a, b or c happen, just guide me to the light with morphine"? I want to be able to die as peacefully and (perhaps almost as) easily as my pets can. And perhaps I should reserve this additional loaded question for a separate post, but what the hell: why do people care so much? [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife on Aug 26, 2013 - 20 answers

My thoughts about death have started making me afraid to live.

For the last 6 or 7 days, I've been fixated on death, and not in a suicidal context. How do people normally handle constant thoughts about their mortality, and how can I stop this from crippling my ability to "live?" [more inside]
posted by Ashen on Mar 19, 2013 - 45 answers

Advance Health Care Directive - End-of-life decisions - How do I decide?

Recently I had a California Advance Health Care Directive drawn up (free when you buy a Will!) Whoa... this is a tough question! End of Life Decision: A) Choice not to prolong life B) Choice to prolong life Which one should I pick? How do I go about picking one? More details inside [more inside]
posted by StrictlyVague on Mar 7, 2013 - 14 answers

What to say to a dying relative with a fractured relationship?

My uncle is dying - the doctor says days or weeks. I haven't said anything to him, or his wife, or his kids, since they got the cancer diagnosis a few months ago. Our families have had a historically fractured relationship, so it all feels very awkward to me. Please help me figure out what to appropriately say to them. [more inside]
posted by raztaj on Feb 25, 2013 - 10 answers

Dealing with family when someone is dying

It appears my Dad is in the process of dying - I'm mostly okay with that, but really struggling with the rest of my family. Could use some words of wisdom. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2013 - 21 answers

Work to get in, work to get out.

Labor of death much like the labor of being born? [more inside]
posted by itsacover on Dec 16, 2012 - 5 answers

Name some examples of humorous tragedies in film and literature

I need suggestions of fictional or non-fictional books or films that deal with illness or dying in relation to humor/the absurd. [more inside]
posted by Felicity Rilke on Sep 19, 2012 - 23 answers

Waiting, waiting, waiting....

My mother is going to die, probably very soon. How do I deal with waiting for it to happen? [more inside]
posted by heurtebise on Aug 27, 2012 - 28 answers

I can't think of one, I'm exhausted

My 90 year old grandmother is barely conscious, rarely eating, and is losing her mental faculties. I visit her every lunchtime to try and get her to eat. My mother (her daughter) takes the evening shift for dinnertime. I'm not coping well. Any suggestions to help me make this easier, so I'm not sobbing my heart out every day? [more inside]
posted by malibustacey9999 on Aug 14, 2012 - 41 answers

How can we help our son know his father?

My husband has a few more months before cancer takes his energy, and then his life. We have a 17 month old son. My husband plans to write some letters to our son, but beyond that, I am not sure what to do to help my son know his father. Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by Mozzie on Aug 13, 2012 - 62 answers

How can she be gone when she was just here and I see her everywhere?

My mom died. Now what? (In the abstract, existential sense.) [more inside]
posted by ApathyGirl on Jul 31, 2012 - 28 answers

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dumpster

In the last year on our road into town in rural Vermont, we have seen the personal effects of 3 people who have recently died packed into dumpsters at the side of the road. In one case the family had a tag sale and sold all the valuable stuff (her crystal collection) and tossed the rest in the dumpster. For some reason this creeps me out big time and I don't want it to happen to me. Are there best practices for disposing of the personal effects of family members?How did your family dispose of the stuff of the deceased that you didn't want? Yes.... I know about a will and have one.
posted by Xurando on Jan 22, 2012 - 20 answers

Does knowing the cause of death help in coping?

Why do I care so much to know the cause of my friend's recent, unexpected death? [more inside]
posted by cellojoe on Oct 10, 2011 - 14 answers

Death As It Truly Happens

What documentaries accurately depict the dying process? [more inside]
posted by dephlogisticated on Sep 24, 2011 - 11 answers

Sorry for the morbid question.

Hospice and palliative-care providers often tell patients' families and friends that as people die, hearing is the last sense to go. Is there any science behind the claim? [more inside]
posted by evidenceofabsence on Sep 23, 2011 - 10 answers

It wasn't really that nice knowing you...

How can I comfort the loved ones of a dying person I don't like? And the dying person themselves? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by katyggls on Aug 19, 2011 - 26 answers

My Dad Needs a Better Son or Daughter

There will soon be a death in my family. I'm worried this one's going to be especially hard and I'm not sure what to do. [more inside]
posted by EatTheWeak on Apr 19, 2011 - 19 answers

Help me find a career working with the dying

Help me find a career working with the dying and/or those close to them. [more inside]
posted by Waldo Jeffers on Apr 10, 2011 - 6 answers

What do you do at a funeral?

Funeral Question: So my grandmother died. The wake is on Thursday and the funeral is on Friday. I've never been to a funeral before and not any Catholic services before. What's expected of me? What can do to help? Or at least not make things worse? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2011 - 32 answers

So now what do we do?

So we are in an icky situation involving a friend dying of AIDS. Advice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 22, 2011 - 35 answers

How can I survive my mother's death?

How can I survive my mother's death? [more inside]
posted by thelastgirl on Feb 13, 2011 - 36 answers

How to cope with a fear of death? I

I'm terrified at the thought of dying and don't know what to do. I am not actually dying or sick in any way but sometimes I can't stop worrying about it. How can I stop, or feel better about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2011 - 40 answers

What is it like to be a hospice volunteer?

What is it like to be a hospice volunteer? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 30, 2010 - 23 answers

Readings for a course on death and philosophy

Philosophical approaches to death and dying. I am prepping a college course; looking for great readings on philosophical questions about death, but also: world religious/cultural traditions about dying/funerals/mourning/afterlife, how people in death-related jobs see their work (undertakers, hospice workers, doctors, chaplains, military/police...), writings of people who have terminal illnesses, psychological research on preparation for dying, etc. [more inside]
posted by LobsterMitten on Dec 14, 2010 - 51 answers

Advice for a struggling grandson

Help me decide what to do about visiting my dying Grandfather. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 3, 2010 - 23 answers

How do I deal with multiple out-of-state family illnesses?

I can't stop feeling guilty about not being able to visit sick family members or help them more. I'm scared of others dying or being sick. [more inside]
posted by KogeLiz on Aug 12, 2010 - 5 answers

My Dad passed away and I don't know what to do.

How best can I support my Mom and brother from so far away, other than calling them frequently? How can I stop thinking about the last days of my Dad's life and get over his physical "absence"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 30, 2010 - 9 answers

Estranged Parent Dying of Cancer

I recently found out my father is dying of cancer. We haven't spoken in over a decade. What are your experiences with reconciliation in this kind of situation? [more inside]
posted by Otis on Jun 8, 2010 - 22 answers

She's Not Dead Yet

My aunt has cancer. She has about six months left. How do I stop grieving while she's still alive? Is that possible? Also, if my grief is this bad already, what's it going to be like when she does die? Not so bad? Worse? [more inside]
posted by deborah on Apr 28, 2010 - 22 answers

Beautiful friend

How do I tell my family I am dying? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 16, 2010 - 62 answers

Can I forgive myself for leaving my dying mother's side?

My mother is dying. How can I forgive myself for the guilt of leaving her bedside? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 9, 2009 - 35 answers

I have two friends; their parents are (separately) dying. How to help? Neither are in U.S./U.K./CAN.

I would like to help my friends, if I can; two of them are individually dealing with incredibly stressful and sad health-related situations related to their parents. [more inside]
posted by taz on Aug 8, 2009 - 7 answers

How to balance work/life with a dying parent?

My mother has been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. She has decided to stop treatment as chemotherapy is not working and surgery/radiation is not an option. The oncologist estimates she has about one month left. I have the option of taking FMLA and spending all of my time with her during her last days if I want. But I am not sure that would be the healthiest option for me. My mother says just take a day or two a week and try to live as normal a life as possible. But I feel selfish living my life while she is dying. Any one ever have a similar experience?
posted by burlsube on Jul 9, 2009 - 36 answers

Meet you at the cemetry gates

How can I best prepare for death or, I guess, the process of dying? [more inside]
posted by milarepa on May 15, 2009 - 39 answers

Does someone with a dying relative better understand what someone who has lost a relative is going through?

Does someone with a dying relative better understand what someone who has lost a relative is going through? Explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 4, 2009 - 12 answers

What can I say when my boyfriend gets scared about his Dad dying?

What can I say when my boyfriend gets scared about his Dad dying? [more inside]
posted by trampesque on Feb 9, 2009 - 12 answers

Social discomfort, family obligation

Cousin Zach is a sweetheart, but I don't have the time or inclincation to attend everything he invites us to. How to say no tactfully? Guilt is involved. [more inside]
posted by frosty_hut on Jan 27, 2009 - 21 answers

Inspriring farewell letter by a sci-fi author

Help me find a Sci-fi writers farewell letter. Could be Asimov, could be someone else. [more inside]
posted by monocultured on Dec 9, 2008 - 5 answers

What is the source and substance of this quote about dying?

Help me identify this quote about death, dying, and the end of the world! [more inside]
posted by Doug on Nov 19, 2008 - 1 answer

How can I make time slow down?

How can I make time slow down? [more inside]
posted by changeling on Aug 18, 2008 - 40 answers

Stay away from the light

Besides the Tibetan Book of the Dead, are there other ancient cultural texts about dying? [more inside]
posted by generic230 on Jul 30, 2008 - 10 answers

All sleeping dogs die.

Dying dog. How do I make him comfortable? [more inside]
posted by kldickson on Jun 29, 2008 - 24 answers

Help a 3 year old deal with death

My wife's beloved grandmother died yesterday and we are wondering how to explain things to our three year old daughter. [more inside]
posted by TedW on May 22, 2008 - 17 answers

We're all dying?

Looking for some source of a quote about, or the general idea that, we are all slowly dying, but some are closer than others. [more inside]
posted by jckll on Nov 20, 2007 - 12 answers

Dying has a way of making family gatherings kind of awkward

I'm spending my Thanksgiving in Malaysia, visiting my one of my aunts, along with others in my extended family. I'm almost certain that this will be the last time I'll ever see her. [more inside]
posted by Weebot on Nov 16, 2007 - 7 answers

How do you prepare or help prepare someone who is dying and then deal with the practical aspects of the aftermath

Questions about the practical aspects of preparing for someone for death and things the survivors need to do after the death. [more inside]
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Oct 8, 2007 - 14 answers

How to help a friend dealing with the sudden death of her sister?

My friend's sister just died. How to help? [more inside]
posted by salvia on Jul 14, 2007 - 19 answers

Autoobit?

Have you considered writing your own obituary? [more inside]
posted by bkiddo on Apr 25, 2007 - 14 answers

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