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Looking for good grief support groups in NYC

My friend's Dad died earlier this year, and she's working through it. She wants to find a good grief support group in New York, preferably in lower Manhattan or Brooklyn. She works a lot, and the few she knows about meet in times when she just can't go. [more inside]
posted by WStraub on Jul 23, 2014 - 1 answer

Why did my cat die?

I found my cat dead under my car and I am trying to find out why. [more inside]
posted by mermily on Jul 22, 2014 - 18 answers

Relief for the bereaved

My mom died two weeks ago. It was from a fast growing lymphoma - was sudden and unexpected. She was an incredibly healthy person leading up to about the year before her death - no vices at all, exercised religiously, and maintained a very healthy lifestyle. Question revolves around help for coping with this loss, potential near-future loss of father, and changes in live. [more inside]
posted by dmbfan93 on Jul 5, 2014 - 12 answers

Poem (Rimbaud?) about young soldiers' blood in summer fields

I read this poem years ago, and I'm pretty sure it's by Rimbaud, but I can't find it on Google. I think it starts out by describing a beautiful summer landscape, perhaps some wheat fields in France, and then it turns darker and describes dead young WW1 soldiers who lie there bleeding. Which poem is this?
posted by mbrock on Jun 29, 2014 - 6 answers

My dog is dead, and I'm a mess

What can I do in the short and long-term to process and cope with my dog's death? [more inside]
posted by ablazingsaddle on Jun 27, 2014 - 44 answers

how can I support a close friend with a terminal illness

A close, long time friend just got the C word from his doctor. This is not a good prognosis, it's perhaps weeks/months to live. He and his family are more than likely going through various stages of fear and emotional paralysis, just my assumption as I've yet to speak with them personally, just got the news. How can I best support them from a distance? [more inside]
posted by diode on Jun 25, 2014 - 21 answers

The Name as Subject Line==Severe Stuff convention: how did it start?

So I've noticed a convention that using someone's name--and only their name--as the subject line in the email message means that something pretty severe has happened to them. Like, if Jane Bloggs had a healthy baby, the subject line would be something like "Jane had a baby!", but if the subject line was just "Jane" or "Jane Bloggs" or "Aunt Jane" (assuming I'm Jane's nephew) then either Jane or her baby or both would be in the (N)ICU or more likely the morgue. I'm wondering where this started. Any help?
posted by tellumo on Jun 17, 2014 - 18 answers

What progressive social justice organizations should I will my money to?

I'm writing my will, and I'm planning to donate pretty much my entire estate. Places on my radar are: ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and Lambda Legal. I know there are tons of other great organizations out there, but I don't know who they are, so please tell me about them. I am interested in anything progressive/social justice-y.
posted by (Over) Thinking on Jun 14, 2014 - 29 answers

Panleukopenia outbreak in our house. What now?

My fiancé and I foster homeless kittens and cats in our house as volunteers for a local cat shelter. Panleukopenia just hit us hard, killing all of our fosters, making us really depressed, and now we don't know what to do. Any advice? [more inside]
posted by ashtabula to opelika on Jun 3, 2014 - 12 answers

How can I take over a car loan after the death of a relative?

It's okay with the estate, but now I need to deal with the car company. How do I make sure that I can take over the car loan of a dead relative in order to keep the (sentimental) car, keeping in mind bad credit and not enough money to pay it off entirely? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2014 - 10 answers

How to find death information for deceased family members?

I have deceased family members who came to America a few decades ago and died, but would not have been on Social Security rolls. A living family member wants me to find out where they are buried. How to do this? [more inside]
posted by corb on May 6, 2014 - 13 answers

I feel like the only insane person for being sane.

My girlfriend, her parent, and her entire family are 100% convinced that one of her parents has an incurable terminal disease. The catch? None of the test results have come back. In fact, none of the tests have even been done. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 18, 2014 - 24 answers

What are the most interesting obituaries from the NYTIMES or ECONOMIST?

With the departure of Gabriel Garcia, there has been a plethora of obituaries to make his passing. I've been reading many of them and am pretty intrigued by the life he lived. I remember reading an obituary of Svetlana Alliuyeva which recounted probalby one of the most interesting and epic lives I've ever read about. Miles Davis obituary had probably the coolest (pun intended) headline "Miles Davis, Trumpeter, Dies; Jazz Genius, 65, Defined Cool". What are the most interesting obituaries you've read and that have stayed with you throughout the years.
posted by RapcityinBlue on Apr 18, 2014 - 17 answers

Impending pet death (probably). How do I take care of the remains?

I think I'm about to have to deal with the loss of a beloved pet cat. I am not sure how to best handle dealing with her remains. I want to keep them. Can anyone help me figure this out? [more inside]
posted by Because on Apr 16, 2014 - 13 answers

Interpreter turned psychologist - navigating a difficult situation

On Tuesday, a Japanese acquaintance from my first exchange to Tokyo in 2009/10 suddenly messaged me saying she needed someone to interpret for a Japanese lady whose son had suddenly passed away in Germany. I said okay and now I've just come home after two exhausting days and sorting through the apartment of a young man who probably committed suicide. I will have to go back there on Monday, but I'd like some tips on how to deal myself and also on how to help the mother. [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Apr 12, 2014 - 15 answers

Best friend's dad died suddenly. Besides myself, what should I bring?

My best friend called me last night to say that her father had died of a heart attack yesterday. She was clearly still in shock. She and her husband drove in overnight and as soon as she calls I'll leave work to go spend the day with her and her family. I don't want to show up empty-handed. Besides food for lunch, what should I bring with me? [more inside]
posted by SeedStitch on Apr 4, 2014 - 27 answers

How to be there for someone from far away

How do I write a letter of condolence to my best friend whose dad passed away when it is the only way I have of contacting him? [more inside]
posted by holmesian on Apr 1, 2014 - 9 answers

Examples of dead/dying characters listing all the things they'll miss

I'm trying to think of more examples of this particular moment: a character who is dying, or thinking of death, or speaking from beyond the grave, gives a list or inventory of the everyday things they remember and appreciate about being alive. A few examples inside. [more inside]
posted by Beardman on Mar 28, 2014 - 23 answers

How do I get to know my parents as people?

After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away? [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Mar 26, 2014 - 21 answers

Motorcycles, Death and the DMV

Background: I was in the middle of doing a mild restoration on my little brother's bike two years ago (2000 ZX-7R) when he died very unexpectedly. I don't know what to do with it now and just realized that it hasn't been registered since 2008. [more inside]
posted by snsranch on Mar 10, 2014 - 6 answers

My brother died four days ago. My father is coping by being abusive.

My brother passed away on Monday. My father is coping by lashing out. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by TryTheTilapia on Mar 7, 2014 - 22 answers

Should I renew my life insurance policy?

My parents bought whole life insurance when I was born and it needs renewed. I was going to let it lapse, they want me to renew - do I really need life insurance? [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Feb 20, 2014 - 18 answers

electronic devices after death?

What happens to the contents on your computer if you're incapacitated? Would you (if you had some terminal illness, for example) wipe things, or do you think your family members would respect your privacy? Would you scour every bit of a loved one's computer? [more inside]
posted by flyingfork on Feb 9, 2014 - 16 answers

Short story? Brother/sister in back of truck, coffin falls, kills sister

Simple summary: A brother and sister rode along to the store in the back of a truck to purchase a coffin. On the return trip home, the coffin falls on the sister and kills her, and they have to go back to the store to buy a coffin for her. Google has had some mighty strange or irrelevant suggestions to my query, but nothing that seems right. It's probable that I'd recognize the cover or the name of the book. [more inside]
posted by stormyteal on Feb 7, 2014 - 0 answers

recent book on 100? concepts of the afterlife

Within the past year or two (approx.), there was a book published that laid out (in a somewhat light-hearted, abbreviated manner, for mass market) many various imaginings from religion, folklore, etc., of what life after death may be like. Can anyone recall it for me?
posted by mmiddle on Feb 7, 2014 - 5 answers

What to do with a large number of enormous oil paintings

My partner's father, a professional artist, passed away last year. We are now responsible for his work, including many large paintings (over 7 ft high), along with smaller paintings and works on paper. His father wasn't selling many paintings in recent years, so we don't think there's much of a market for them. He was an art professor for many years and had some nice residencies and reviews throughout his career, but as far as we know, he wasn't working with a gallery or dealer in the last few years. [more inside]
posted by pourtant on Feb 3, 2014 - 14 answers

Help me, FOR PURPOSES OF WRITING FICTION, figure out how to kill a guy

So, our hero lives next door to an evil guy who is at present blind/infirm. She has an opportunity to kill him and make it look like an accident. What are some handy means of death for purposes of FICTION [more inside]
posted by angrycat on Jan 31, 2014 - 48 answers

dealing with death of a good friend...

One of my closest friends committed suicide. I am having a really hard time understanding my feelings about it. [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jan 21, 2014 - 22 answers

Death Metaphor at Disney

Looking for a blog post about death imagery/metaphor at Disneyland/Disney World. Sound familiar? [more inside]
posted by custard heart on Jan 20, 2014 - 4 answers

Should I request a transfer? Get a new job?

I am currently working a job I've been at for 4 months. I haven't really enjoyed said job (particularly the hours it has required), and have recently suffered a setback that has made it more difficult than ever for me to deal with it. I was thinking of requesting a transfer, but I'm not sure if that's the right idea. I'd really like things not to backfire. [more inside]
posted by Sakura3210 on Jan 15, 2014 - 13 answers

What does "I don't want to talk about it" mean, practically speaking?

A dear friend of mine who lives far away has lost two of her three cats to sudden, upsetting illness, in the space of a week. She has implied that she's not interested in talking about it, which I can understand. [more inside]
posted by Sokka shot first on Jan 8, 2014 - 20 answers

What will it take to make me feel better?

After a particularly bad holiday season, I am feeling unhappy and dissatisfied with my life. I want things to change, but can't bring myself to actually do anything to help that change occur. This is a long one, so I apologize in advance... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2014 - 11 answers

Help me find hope that things will get better

Things just keep getting worse and I don't know what to do. Please see extended explanation. [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Dec 28, 2013 - 14 answers

My dead friend's cat is dying

A friend of mine died nearly thee years ago and his cat ended up in the care of my mother. The cat is now dying. Should I email my friend's family when the cat dies? If you were the friend's brother, is this an email you'd want to receive? (The obligatory picture from healthier times.) [more inside]
posted by hoyland on Dec 18, 2013 - 31 answers

A movie with a kid-killing bull

I have a dim memory of seeing a movie on television in which a young person is killed by a bull after wandering into its fenced-off bull field, but I haven't had any luck searching for a film title. [more inside]
posted by dougmoon on Dec 14, 2013 - 5 answers

Someone else's grief: office edition

My boss' mother is dying. It's not about me, but: what am I not doing that I should be doing? What have I not even thought of? [more inside]
posted by terretu on Dec 13, 2013 - 15 answers

Helping friends deal with a pet death

My friends’ cat died yesterday. How can I help them? [more inside]
posted by aviatrix on Dec 1, 2013 - 16 answers

Help me miss my Dad

My Dad died this week after a long illness. I don't feel a thing, except maybe tired. How do I get my feelings back? Are there resources for people like me? [more inside]
posted by SecondSock on Nov 30, 2013 - 36 answers

End of life planning

My brother and I are sitting down with my parents tomorrow to discuss specifics of what they've put in place for end of life planning. What should we ask? [more inside]
posted by chiababe on Nov 29, 2013 - 23 answers

How do you all deal with death?

How do you all deal with the fact that you and everyone you love will die some day? [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood on Nov 27, 2013 - 34 answers

A question I wish I weren't asking

We put our 20-year-old cat to sleep at home last night. I had read about what to expect, but did not anticipate her struggling so desperately throughout the procedure. Now my mind keeps going back to those awful moments over and over. I’m wondering if anyone here has had a similar experience, or just has some thoughts on how to process this. [more inside]
posted by whistle pig on Nov 20, 2013 - 41 answers

Naked Lunch

Philosophical persectives on slaughtering animals for food required. Help me work through unexpected questioning? [more inside]
posted by Caskeum on Nov 19, 2013 - 23 answers

Helping 7 yo process mother's death

So my sister-in-law had a stroke last week and passed away on Friday. My niece's are 7 and 19. The older one, of course groks it, but I'm not sure how much the younger one is getting. [more inside]
posted by jacy on Nov 19, 2013 - 25 answers

Unexpected Death

My Dad just called and my Mom unexpectedly died in her sleep at 62. We need help in knowing what to do. [more inside]
posted by RoadScholar on Nov 13, 2013 - 21 answers

Any tips for planning a funeral?

I suppose just about everybody goes through this process at one time or another, but I (30 year-old man) and my sister (34 year-old woman) are helping my dad plan mom's funeral (after 40 years of marriage and a drawn-out battle with cancer). None of us (dad included) have really had to plan these things, and conflicted advice from different friends and loved ones isn't helping. How do we do this? (and how can this be announced online to friends and acquaintances?) [more inside]
posted by phaedrus441 on Nov 2, 2013 - 18 answers

Are my days numbered because of lup chong?

Will uncooked Chinese sausage end my life? [more inside]
posted by turbid dahlia on Oct 30, 2013 - 17 answers

Caregiver take two

My mom and I spent the past two years as full-time caregivers for my dad until he died this summer. We were just getting back on our feet when she was diagnosed with a terminal disease two weeks ago. What now? [more inside]
posted by lharmon on Oct 25, 2013 - 10 answers

Complicated Death, Complicated Grief

In mid-May, my mother, who was the primary caregiver for my father with Alzheimer's, died suddenly. We spent weeks trying to get my father into a suitable situation, which quickly ended up in his death (a long story, so please bear with me). I'm looking for ideas on how to cope with uncertainty amid tragedy. [more inside]
posted by carrienation on Oct 24, 2013 - 21 answers

Should I go to my ex-coworker's memorial tonight?

Should I go to my ex-coworker's memorial tonight? He committed suicide a few weeks ago. I kind of don't want to go because I'm more pissed off than I am sad. [more inside]
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas on Sep 25, 2013 - 89 answers

Friend's Dad is Dying of Emphysema...

My friend's dad is dying of emphysema. I'm not sure what stage he's in. I don't think he's ready to die yet, but he's not in good shape at all... [more inside]
posted by ifranzen on Sep 16, 2013 - 12 answers

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