766 posts tagged with death.
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How to start caring again

He died and I'm feeling stuck. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2016 - 14 answers

Catastrophizing about what could be a catastrophe

The next week is going to be a rough one for me. My father is going in for cancer tests this week. He'll be seeing a oncologist on Friday before getting a biopsy for what could possibly be lung cancer on Tuesday. He clearly hasn't been diagnosed with anything yet (so who knows, it could be nothing, I guess), but I have been a wreck since Monday. I cannot stop imagining the worst case scenario. I am so afraid of my father being seriously ill and dying and these thoughts are just consuming me. I am completely petrified. How can I cope with this uncertainty? And if the news is bad, can I even survive? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 21, 2016 - 24 answers

What do you say to your parents when their friends start dying?

This past week, an old family friend passed away. This lady was a contemporary of my mom (they were friends/peers) and her passing was very sudden. She's super freaked out about this, and I have literally no idea what to say. [more inside]
posted by Medieval Maven on Apr 18, 2016 - 19 answers

How to gain access to deceased spouse safety deposit box?

Hello, all. My grandfather passed away a few months ago and he has some bank accounts and safety deposit boxes for which my grandmother has no access. [more inside]
posted by tellUwut on Apr 16, 2016 - 13 answers

Whose famous last "words" were a punctuation mark?

I recall reading, some years ago, about a semi-famous intellectual--I believe it was a philosopher, or theologian, or author--who, on his/her deathbed, wrote a single punctuation mark as his/her last "words." The mark was either a comma or a semicolon, if I recall correctly. No matter how hard I try, I can't find the answer via Google.
posted by duffell on Apr 15, 2016 - 9 answers

Anthropomorphic animal picture books about death for a toddler?

Grandma died. Grandma was a huge part of my daughter's life. My daughter is 9, but brain damage makes her like a 2-year-old. My daughter prefers to talk about sad/scary things via anthropomorphic animals in picture books. ("Scared like Piglet." "Sad like Franklin.") Any suggestions for a book with animals about death that covers everything simply - sickness, hospital, death, funeral, sadness, saying goodbye, comfort?
posted by clawsoon on Apr 7, 2016 - 8 answers

Mass cards for United Methodists?

My wife's grandfather just passed. I asked for an address where to send a mass card, and she had no idea what I was talking about. I thought this was a common thing to send to the family of the deceased. Some further investigation revealed that mass cards are a strictly Catholic thing, and not all Christian religions use them. My wife's parents attend a United Methodist church, so I figure it is safe to assume that is their religion. So what do United Methodists do for funerals?
posted by tckma on Apr 1, 2016 - 11 answers

My mother died almost a month ago and I'm destroyed

After a losing battle with cancer, my mother died March 3rd at the age of 63. Grieving is bad enough but my situation has gotten more complicated and I am hoping you can help me. [more inside]
posted by shesbenevolent on Mar 29, 2016 - 18 answers

Dead vermin, trash not getting picked up for a week?

I found a dead rat today, and the trash had literally been picked up hours before. So now I'm going to have a (double bagged, disgusting vermin) sitting in my trash can for a week while the temperatures get well into the "make dead things smell very very dead" levels. Is there anything I can do to stop my trash cans from smelling like death for weeks?
posted by aspo on Mar 29, 2016 - 17 answers

Resources for dealing with the loss of an alcoholic parent

My father is in end-stage liver failure due to alcoholism, and I'm having trouble finding good books/websites/forums/etc. for dealing with the emotional component of this situation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2016 - 10 answers

Letter of appreciation to teacher with late-stage cancer?

I recently discovered that my inspirational secondary school art teacher, Mr W, has lung cancer. Reports from my family suggest that it could be late-stage and not being treated, though his wife says they are 'staying positive'. Can I convey my thanks and best wishes without intruding at this time? [more inside]
posted by doornoise on Mar 21, 2016 - 14 answers

Help sort out dying grandma's finances and insurance

My grandma is on her death bed. Grandpa is still alive but mostly incompetent. We're trying to figure out what insurance they might have (and if it's current) and where their money is so we can pay for medical bills, impending funeral, home care, etc. Is there a way to search for this type of stuff by name or SSN? Not necessarily online, but perhaps through national databases accessible to insurance agents or bank managers or government agencies.
posted by buckaroo_benzai on Mar 20, 2016 - 13 answers

Book recommendation on funerary and memorial practices

I'm interested in learning more about funerary rituals and memorials for the dead in different cultures. Can anyone recommend any good texts? This is a wide-ranging inquiry, so all cultures and historical periods are welcome.
posted by orrnyereg on Mar 17, 2016 - 4 answers

What the hell was in that coffee?

The other day, Mrs. Wazoo (who is not new to coffee) brewed a pot of the worst coffee that's ever existed, and we're baffled and disgusted the the fallout. It started innocently enough, with a bag of coffee from Four Barrel that smelled... well, like coffee. It did not end that way. Can you help us with any ideas about what could possibly have been the cause of this awful, awful thing? [more inside]
posted by TheNewWazoo on Mar 14, 2016 - 9 answers

Picking up the pieces after an unexpected death

My brother in law just passed away suddenly from a brain hemorrhage in his mid 40's leaving a wife and young family. He was the sole wage earner and handled all of the family's financial matters. His wife has almost zero knowledge of what bank/stock accounts or loans he had setup. Help us pick up the various pieces - we have lots of questions. [more inside]
posted by Long Way To Go on Mar 4, 2016 - 11 answers

the 2d of 3 stages of death?

In one of the world's traditions (or maybe in fiction), there's the idea that death has 3 stages: first, the biological death of the physical body; second=??; and third, when the last person who, as a child, knew you, undergoes biological death. Would someone please refresh or correct my memory of this teaching?
posted by mmiddle on Feb 23, 2016 - 7 answers

Crazy mortuary on the edge of town

My mom is entering her final stages of life. [more inside]
posted by silsurf on Feb 22, 2016 - 9 answers

Need plan to survive new job, long commute, dad in hospice

Dearest hive mind, kindly help me prepare a self-care kit or make survival plans for what will probably be the most brutal 6 months I have had in years. The good news: I have finally landed work. The bad news: My dad is in hospice out of state, my new contract job is 40 hours per week at the end of a long commute on one of those hated corporate buses that pick up workers in San Francisco and drop them off in Silicon Valley. Details below. [more inside]
posted by Bella Donna on Feb 2, 2016 - 15 answers

Useful Guidance for An Unexpected Loss

I emailed my therapist for an appointment, and it bounced. When I googled her to see if contact info changed, the first link was her obit (Nov 2015). My therapist died. I just found out, and I am pretty wrecked. Thoughts? [more inside]
posted by j_curiouser on Jan 28, 2016 - 11 answers

Books to Read After Losing Your Mother

A friend's mother recently passed away after a fairly brief but intense battle with pancreatic cancer. My friend is the type of person who is comforted by reading about similar experiences and I think finding books about mother loss or the grief process in general might help her process some of her feelings. Please recommend any books you think could be useful, keeping in mind that her mom died only a few months ago, so it might be better to have more general books rather than intensely personal ones (although I'm not 100% sure about that).
posted by odayoday on Jan 25, 2016 - 26 answers

How much should I reasonably weather and sacrifice for my dying mother?

How much disruption of my life is OK when it comes to caring for a dying parent? What if I just don't have it in me? [more inside]
posted by tellyalater on Jan 17, 2016 - 18 answers

"And, beauty dead, black chaos comes again..."

The passing of the Thin White Duke has me mulling over last works and final days. What other artists made work about the premonition of death? [more inside]
posted by fritillary on Jan 16, 2016 - 25 answers

My mother is dying and I live 3500 miles away

This is my first experience with the death of a close family member. I feel a million things and it's all complicated being so far away and I don't know what to do. Snowflake details inside [more inside]
posted by shesbenevolent on Jan 14, 2016 - 8 answers

My therapist has died. What now?

I spent a sizable portion of my adult life, a good 25 years, searching for a therapist who would truly understand me. In 2005, I did. After a a few years of not going, I went to see her again. As usual, she made me feel so much better that months passed before I called for another appointment. Then I learned she passed away suddenly. I honestly don't know what to do now. She had a private practice, so no colleagues, though I did reach out to a former associate of hers from a while back. I'm not sure if he's taking new clients, though. What are your suggestions? Any ideas would be much appreciated.
posted by Lillitatiana on Dec 23, 2015 - 4 answers

How do death and taxes work?

My grandmother is in hospice and my father will be inheriting the majority of her savings after she passes. He would like to give me a large-ish amount of money from this, but how does that work? [more inside]
posted by thefang on Dec 22, 2015 - 7 answers

How to pre-pay for a funeral when you never stay in one place long?

After my mother died last fall, and my family having no money to bury her, it got me thinking about my own inevitable death someday. I know you can prepay for your funeral at actual funeral homes, but I never stay in one location more than 2-3 years. I have no idea where I'll be when I die. I've thought about life insurance, but I think that takes a while to pay out? Are there some options I'm missing?
posted by Zarya on Nov 19, 2015 - 12 answers

What happens to the game if a professional athlete dies on the field?

After watching Ricardo Lockette get knocked terrifyingly unconscious in tonight's Seahawks/Cowboys game, and wondering for the eight minutes he was down if he was even alive*, I'm curious to know what the rules governing various high-level sports leagues are about continuing play in the event of the death of an athlete on the field. [more inside]
posted by KathrynT on Nov 1, 2015 - 22 answers

A cocktail from the king

Are there any English-language translations of sources describing death by sayak (사약; 賜藥) poisoning in Korean history? I'm interested in what the effects of the poison were on the body.
posted by Quilford on Oct 29, 2015 - 2 answers

Uncertainty of Death (Perspective of a Friend)

My good friend is in the hospital across the country. She is my age (mid-20s) and has a ton of potential. Because of school and money I only have one chance to fly out, so I won't be visiting her (she is also heavily sedated anyways). There is an at least 50% chance she will die of this (though that is an older number and it has likely gotten worse since then). I'm looking for quotes, poems, prayers, or stories not for her, but for her friends, to help deal with this uncertainty and stress. [more inside]
posted by obviousresistance on Oct 15, 2015 - 12 answers

How to send condolences to a coworker

My co-worker's sibling died. What's the best way to send my condolences? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 8, 2015 - 15 answers

An American Remote Worker in Katowice

I'm looking for advice and more questions about working an American job remotely while living in Poland. [more inside]
posted by LiteOpera on Oct 4, 2015 - 2 answers

Seeking biggest, most destructive, animal and insect swarms in history

So I'm trying to find the biggest historical accounts of animal and insect swarms/herds in history. I've been googling by species but decade and by general terms like swarm, infestation, herd, stampede and so far I've only found a few of the more recent ones. So a) if you know any, please tell me more about them and b) what's the best way to find these historical accounts? Even if they're just one or two lines. [more inside]
posted by rileyray3000 on Oct 1, 2015 - 16 answers

Crane Climbing Deaths?

I've been watching more of the FAIL/WIN & People Are Awesome videos on YouTube than I should. Many of them contain (by now familiar to everyone) scenes of teenagers hanging one-handed off the top of a gargantuan crane. Are there known deaths from attempts to do that, or something similar? I googled, but couldn't find anything.
posted by OmieWise on Sep 30, 2015 - 4 answers

Contesting a will

My mother recently died. I acted as her live-in carer, to varying degrees, over the last 11 years (mainly the last few years). Do I have a reasonable case upon which to contest the will's equal apportionment of the estate? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2015 - 24 answers

How do I keep going?

The last year has been filled with brutal loss and now there's more. Please help me cope with lots of death and an emotionally stunted family. [more inside]
posted by stoneweaver on Sep 10, 2015 - 10 answers

Anyone know a book about a boy in an isolation unit?

What's that novel filter: teen girl in hospital falls for a boy isolated behind glass. [more inside]
posted by mippy on Aug 21, 2015 - 2 answers

Reading recommendations about death of a friend

A close friend of mine committed suicide recently and I'm struggling to process all my feelings about it. Reading about other people's experiences usually helps me, but I've been having trouble finding books that fit what I'm looking for. [more inside]
posted by gnar_gnar on Aug 12, 2015 - 12 answers

Did I Kill This Beautiful Indoor Cactus?

This cactus has been with me since he was a tiny 1-foot tot, and now is now almost 4-feet tall. But have I killed it or is he in need of _______? [more inside]
posted by zenpop on Aug 4, 2015 - 4 answers

Making a card for a dying uncle. Need suggestions/advice.

I need help making this card. It seems simple but I'm having trouble and I'm on a very tight deadline (tonight if possible). [more inside]
posted by nogoodverybad on Jul 30, 2015 - 14 answers

Happy or Sad

How do I deal with my unexpected strong feelings about my estranged father's death in light of my recent discovery that I am pregnant? [more inside]
posted by dissolvedgirl22 on Jul 27, 2015 - 19 answers

Bankcard Technophage

I am with Scotia Bank in Canada, and between every 3 and 6 weeks, my bank card just stops working. Scotia has prevented people from swiping it. It leaves me without cash. I cannot take money out, and I cannot use it on POS terminals. [more inside]
posted by PinkMoose on Jul 23, 2015 - 12 answers

SO wants to Probate his dad's will on his own, how hard is it?

His dad passed away suddenly 2 weeks ago, it's been an extremely difficult time and he and his sisters just want to get through his financial things and move on. They feel uneasy about paying such high fees for a lawyer to probate it and are looking into doing it themselves, is this a smart move? [more inside]
posted by bluehermit on Jul 23, 2015 - 16 answers

Memoirs and philosophical works on death, loss

Please recommended memoirs, philosophy, and/or classics on coping with death, the meaning of life, etc. [more inside]
posted by pumpkinlatte on Jul 14, 2015 - 23 answers

Introvert needs help with impending death etiquette

So, my spouse of 20 years has weeks to live according to the hospice nurse who came today. [more inside]
posted by mismatchedsock on Jul 11, 2015 - 24 answers

Dying at home

My husband is terminally ill and probably won't live more than 6 months. We have a 7 year old son. What will it be like for our son to live at home while his father continues to decline and during his eventual death at home? [more inside]
posted by Mrs Roy G Biv on Jul 8, 2015 - 33 answers

Burn notice

I keep a journal. It contains my deepest, most private thoughts that no one knows, not even the people who are the most important and closest to me. What should I do now so that in the event that I die suddenly, nobody can get into it? [more inside]
posted by keep it under cover on Jul 6, 2015 - 15 answers

To date or not to date: MRSA edition.

I recently started hanging out with this lady. We have gone on 2 dates, and kissed. She told me, on the second date, that she has had MRSA in the past. It colonized her nose and she passed it on to her ex-boyfriend during an infection. She has not had an infection in 2 years, however. AM I SAFE [more inside]
posted by special agent conrad uno on Jun 23, 2015 - 17 answers

While I was in a coma, you suggested I die

While I was in a coma earlier this year, one of my in-laws suggested my plug should be pulled. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 17, 2015 - 71 answers

Rules about showing real corpses on TV?

What are the regulations, laws, or norms regarding showing images of actual (non-fictional) corpses on TV in the United States (or more specifically California)? [more inside]
posted by unsub on Jun 11, 2015 - 2 answers

Having the hard conversations with good friends

Several of my friends have gone through some hard life events lately (death, unemployment and more) and I want to know how to talk about it with them. [more inside]
posted by Toddles on Jun 9, 2015 - 17 answers

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