Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with daughter

My mother loves to talk when I really don't want to listen right now!

InterestedInKnowing — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 09:40:33 -0800

How can I drown out my mother's constant advice giving banter? I love my mom. I really do. She is the strongest woman I know. But sometimes I find it hard to tune her out when she is talking to me and giving me advice like a child. It makes me feel so annoyed. I don't mean to be that way but damn I feel I can't tell her to sit down and watch some TV. If I'm on the computer, it usually means "Do Not Disturb." But she loves, loves, LOVES to talk. She tells me things as if they are new concepts to me. Arrrgggh. What can I do? And she picks holes into my concepts at times which makes listening to her even harder. Either how can I gently tell her to stop her non-direct nagging or how can I stop being so annoyed at her jabbering?

How can I forgive my mother for losing some of my most treasured items?

starpoint — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 07:45:30 -0800

How can I forgive my mother for losing some of my most treasured items? This may sound like a stupid/trivial problem but it's really eating away at me inside. This has been bothering me for months. I spent the past year studying abroad in Denmark. While I was gone, my mother went through all of my things in my room back at home, rearranging everything. If I had known better I would have told her not to do this, but I was so focused on being abroad that I didn't think about it. Plus, I didn't think she'd move anything that was super important to me.

I came back home, readjusted to life in the states. Working on finishing up school so I can get a job and move out soon (I'm nearly 27).

The only toys that I wanted to keep are these little pretty kitty & puppy dolls (made by mattel, they don't make 'em anymore) along with a collection of other small little animals and figurines. There's nothing valuable about them intrinsically, the main value comes from the fact that I played with them almost exclusively throughout my entire childhood. I had a little "club" with them growing up. I kept them in a special case in my closet. As I got older I of course stopped playing with them, but I always kept them in that special case and would look back on them fondly. I planned to keep them as long as I lived. My mother knew how important they were to me.

Now most of my other toys have been given away or I could care less about. Those are the ONLY toys I wanted to keep. About a month ago I was looking for something else in my room, since my mom had rearranged everything, and I happened to look inside that special case and saw that all of my pretty kitties and other figures had been removed. My mother put computer equipment in there instead.

When i confronted my mother about it, of course she conveniently "forgot" where she put them or even if she moved them at all. She insists she didn't throw them away or take them out of the house but I've scaled the entire place and haven't found them.

The worst thing is she gets super offended if I ask about them. She apologized (even if it didn't sound all that sincere) and I accepted her apology but it still bothers me. I want them back or at least I want to know what happened to them. But she's made me out to be the enemy, who is out to get her and who is unappreciative. I told her I understand that she was just trying to be nice by rearranging my stuff, but goddammit, why did she think she was entitled to just move things around without asking me first? I'm mad at myself for not telling her to stay out of my room while I was gone.

2 weeks ago we had a loooong conversation about this after I reminded her about searching for them, where she basically said, "I only have 46 years left on the planet. I've already apologized. I'm not going to be held accountable for this any more. What else do you want me to do? If you bring this up again we're not having a relationship. So why don't you just tell me every little thing you're mad at me about so you don't have to be mad at me any more." I proceeded to tell her everything and she even wrote them down. She then told me the problems she had with me and I wrote those down. I go over that list and I make an effort to work on those things AND on myself in general.

My mom didn't keep her list of problems I had with her, instead she wanted to tear her list up. I could be wrong, but in her mind, I think she thinks I'M the one with the problems. So basically, I work on myself and admit all of my faults, and she sees herself as a golden goddess who can do no wrong. She can commit an offense toward me and STILL make herself out to be a victim if I confront her. Furthermore, she's complained in the past when people moved or disregarded HER stuff; or have wronged her in general. Why the double-standard?

Sometimes this whole issue doesn't bother me, but other days it eats me up inside. I can't bring it up with my mother because in her mind it's over.

And what's done is done. I can't get my things back. I'll have to accept that. But I'm still upset about it and every time I look at my mother it's hard to pretend to be happy with her. So how do i get over it? How do I forgive her even if I'm so angry at what she did?

I'm in therapy for the first time in my life (no one in my family knows I've been going). Therapy is offered free through my school (for which I'm grateful), and it's been helpful. I plan to talk about this next session but it's a week until then and I need to articulate my thoughts on this matter beforehand. Thanks in advance for any suggestions to the questions I posed above.

How weird is a father-daughter road-trip?

scblackman — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 19:09:41 -0800

[ParentFilter]: Quick survey of parents - how weird do you think it is for a father to take his toddler-age daughter on a long weekend trip to visit family, while the mother stays at home? I'm taking our 2-1/2 year old daughter from our home in Philadelphia, to Chicago, for a long weekend to visit my brother and his kids, and to bum around my alma mater for a day (U. of C., Harold's Fried Chicken, Obama's house, etc.). At the time I booked the trip, my wife wasn't keen on going and was interested in the time alone.

However, the closer we get to departing, the more unhappy my wife is about this plan. This would be the first time she's ever been away from our daughter for more than 6-8 hours. During our discussions about it, in addition to telling me how nervous she's going to be, she also indicated that she "didn't know any father who took his child away from his mother like this." Ultimately, we agreed that the trip would proceed.

However, I was wondering whether or not what I'm doing is really that unusual! I think this trip is fine, and hope that as my daughter gets older, that we'll have plenty of occasions where she can accompany me to interesting places. As it stands, we're going to visit family, and my wife has already taken our daughter away for a few days without me.

So, MeFite-parental-units ... what do you think? Weird? Normal? Somewhere in between?

Tips for single dad

ian1977 — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 08:36:25 -0800

Looking for tips, advice, how-to's, words of wisdom, dire warnings, helpful websites/blogs/books, and general info on single parenting in general...and for single parenting for a dad raising an almost 3yo in particular. My daughter's mom and I have been separated for several months now...its all well and good and not the crux of my question.

The first few months of the separation were survival mode: living arrangements, bills, divorce stuff, etc.

Now that the dust is settling I am looking forward to honing my routine and techniques as a single parent. To that end I am looking for any advice or tips or resources you might have found helpful. Specifically to a dad raising a daughter.

Pertinent info: I have my daughter half the week. She is 2 2/3rds years old. I am single, although I've been on dates...no one has met my daughter yet of course. Mom is about to cohabitate with bf. Mom and I get along well and it gets better as time passes.

I am looking for very practical advice (pigtails still elude me, is there a how-to?) and more inspirational abstract type stuff as well.

I know there is a plethora of websites to be had from a simple google search, but I am hoping to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Thanks!

Help me build a library of lefty kids books

RajahKing — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 16:55:08 -0800

Do you know any good left wing propoganda for toddlers? Please help me identify some lefty / liberal children's books appropriate for a 3 year old (and up as I have noticed she tends to get older every day).

I have a 3 year old daughter, we read a lot of books together. Her mom and I are committed to progressive political action and would like to introduce some cool, fun, lefty books to the collection. We have a handful, but I'd like to expand. I am thinking about books that discuss race, class, struggle, civil rights, gender issues, environmentalism, etc. We are well to the left of the American mainstream, but we'll take liberalish stuff too.

One request - please no political critique, I promise I'll still read her stories from a variety of perspectives. We let her watch Wonder Pets and Dora, so don't worry.

Birthday gift ideas for 13 year old daughter

midwestguy — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 06:30:07 -0800

My oldest daughter is turning 13--I need birthday gift ideas! My 13 year old daughter has given me no ideas whatsoever for a birthday present, and I"m struggling with what to get.She is very bright, into sports, and already has a nice cellphone and mp3 player. If I give money, she just saves it. I'd love to surprise her with something cool that says I think she is responsible, fun, and unique. She hasn't come up with a single idea to give me. She isn't really into clothes or girly stuff. Everyone is going to give her gift cards to the bookstore. i want to do better. My price limit is around $100. I'd be very grateful for any ideas!

Five year old favoring dad's GF over me (natural mom)

cdg7707 — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:09:57 -0800

How to deal with five year old daughter showing preference for dad & dad's girlfriend over me? Today was my daughter's kindergarten "graduation". After the events were finished and people were basically socializing, it became glaringly obvious that my daughter wanted nothing to do with me. I tried to give her a hug and kiss and she deliberately pulled away from me and ran to stand by my ex-husband and his live in girlfriend. She was holding the gf's hand and hugging them while I stood there and watched. She didn't even give me a glance. It took every ounce of self control to not burst into tears.

My ex-husband and I have been divorced since our daughter was 18 months old. As far as I know, we have a very good relationship. Very rarely do we argue or disagree about things and certainly never in front of our daughter. I like his girlfriend and there have not been any problems that I'm aware of. My ex and I have both joint physical custody and joint legal custody. She splits her time equally between our homes (well, I have her probably 55% of the time and he 45%.... whatever, semantics). When we went through the divorce I agreed to joint physical and joint legal because, well, he is a good father, is very involved with her, and has every right to spend time with her just as I do.

I'm looking for other's words of advice, observations, experience, etc. as to why my daughter acted like this. She's done it a couple of other times but not every time. When she's with me she is very much a "mama's girl" and wants to be with me, doing whatever I'm doing, all of the time.

Is this just a normal variant due to the fact there were a lot of people, maybe she was uncomfortable (she can be shy)? She did stay with her father last night, so maybe it's a transitional issue? Is it just a case of a "kid being a kid"? Am I not giving her enough attention or something?

Should I be concerned about the possibility of them (ex and gf) attempting to alienate her from me? I would hope to god he would have more class than that but on occasion when we have fought he has threatened to take me to court to get full custody of her..... on what grounds I have no idea, considering I don't smoke, drink, have never done drugs, am gainfully employed, nice house, never been in trouble with the police, haven't abandoned her, no abuse, etc. And I'm NOT suggesting that people who smoke, drink, et al are not good parents so please don't infer that. I was simply listing things that I've heard other people try to use as grounds for getting custody. Anyway, another thing that makes me question this possibility is I found out on her school registration form that he filled out, he put himself as the custodial parent and me as the non-custodial parent which isn't factual at all. If I had filled out the form I would've made it glaringly clear that he and I both had physical and legal custody. He also listed his gf's name as the 2nd emergency contact and me 3rd.

Anyway, I know I have NEVER, EVER put her in a position of choosing me over daddy. NEVER. I've never bad mouthed him to her. I've never denied him from seeing her. There isn't any tension between he and I that I'm aware of. I don't trust him 100% but I keep that to myself.

She is my only child and I love her more than words could possibly express. Hopefully you guys can maybe ease my mind because I'm not going to tell my five year old that she hurt my feelings or try to have her explain her behavior because I think she is too young to articulate why she did something, aka "I don't know."

Thanks for any and all advice!

What's the best way to teach my daughter to read?

lexfri — Sat, 16 May 2009 13:06:33 -0800

What's the best way to teach my daughter to read? I didn't find anything in the MeFi archives; I apologize in advance if I missed some obvious discussions.

My 2-and-a-half-year-old loves books, knows her letters and their sounds, and has expressed distinct interest in learning to read her books herself. I've found dozens of methods (both free and commercial) online for teaching kids to read, even at this young(er) age, but I thought maybe some folks here had good recommendations (or warnings!).

Help Anya learn to read. She's pretty cute!

Custody battles when only living parent is a released convict

np312 — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 11:46:21 -0800

Hypothetical child custody question about when the only living parent goes to jail. How hard is it for the convicted parent to regain custody of their child upon their release? I'm writing a story in which the father of a 16 year old girl has been in jail for 10 years for a theft-related crime. The convict's father (the girl's grandfather) has taken care of the girl the past ten years while the father was in jail, and considers himself her legal guardian still, and doesn't want to give her up to his son now that he's free, or even allow visiting rights. How hard would it be for the father to regain custody of his child once he's out of jail, especially if the girl's grandfather decided to fight it? Does the child have any say in the eyes of the law?

Since this is a fiction piece, feel free to suggest conditions under which it might make the father's case stronger to get his girl back, ie if there is a difference between making someone a temporary guardian as opposed to a permanent one, special conditions for non-violent criminals, custody vs guardianship etc. I am not a lawyer so know nothing of these matters.

Thanks!

Clothing mess - how to solve?

burhan — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:03:23 -0800

Help me organize my 7 year olds clothing! I am in the process of going through my daughters (7) room and cleaning it. The end goal is to declutter and allow for her to put away her laundry/find clothes easier.

What is the best way to organize? Near as I can figure it out, I've got the clothes in piles, donated of old clothes/small clothes. These are the piles I have:

Socks
Underwear
Undershirts
Short sleeves (summer and warm days)
Long sleeves
Jeans/casual
Dresses
sweaters
thermal undergarments
Ethnic clothing
pants
school uniform pants
school uniform shirts

It's not that she has too many clothes.. it's that there are too many categories! I have a 3 shelf dresser drawer, and a 4 cube dresser from ikea...

Thoughts?

Should I be creeped out by my dad's relationship?

Anonymous — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 11:53:47 -0800

Last year my dad and my step-mother divorced after 20 years of marriage. It was not an easy break-up, and my dad was pretty devastated in its wake. While it was wrenching for me to think of my dad being alone in his mid-sixties, I cheered myself knowing that my dad, being a very smart, handsome, together guy with a whole lot of awesome qualities, is definitely a catch and would almost certainly end up with someone terrific. I always pictured him being with some fun, free-spirited woman, probably a widow, someone who could match his intellect, stand up to his occasional bull-headedness, and win the hearts of his kids. He’s now with with someone, alright, but not at all what I’d imagined or hoped for. My dad is now dating a woman nearly 30 years younger than he. The part that’s really, really bugging me, though, is the fact that she is about 18 months older than I. She and I could have been classmates. She’s 36, he’s 64. He is, quite literally, old enough to be her father.

My dad and I are close in every aspect but this. We haven’t fought about it or anything, but on the very few occasions we’ve talked the girlfriend I’ve told him that I support him, but that I am also not at all comfortable with it, so we really just avoid the topic altogether. I really want to turn the situation around on him, and ask him what he’d think if his daughter was boning a 62-year-old man, just to put it in perspective, but I haven’t, because it would be petty and not serve any real purpose other than being antagonistic.

The added layer of ickiness here is this: when I was very young my parents divorced in no small part because my dad fucked the babysitter, who was not above the age of consent at the time. I don’t want to get into a giant flamewar about the questionable ethics of grown men fucking “willing” teenagers here; I mention it because, even though I’ve forgiven him for that long ago and this is a relationship between two consenting adults, it does, in some small way, echo back to that predilection.

To complicate matters further, today the girlfriend e-mailed me for the first time, and in it she included a few suggestions for what to get my dad for Christmas. It wasn’t snotty; in fact, I could tell she was trying to reach out and genuinely be nice, but goddamn lady, you’ve been dating him for six months and already you’re trying on the step-mommy role. I haven’t written back yet, although I will eventually, and when I do I swear I will be polite and as bland as milk.

So my conundrum is this: intellectually, I’m glad my dad has found someone, and that he is happy. Emotionally, it creeps me right the fuck out that 25 years ago she and I could have shared a locker.

Other important facts: I live on the opposite side of the country as my dad, so while we talk regularly I only get to see him once a year or twice a year at the very most. I haven’t yet met the girlfriend, nor do I have any desire to do so for the foreseeable future. Also, they are dating exclusively, but having just emerged from a divorce I don’t think that my dad would actually get married again, at least not for a long, long while. I hope.

I know that ultimately dating decisions belong solely to my dad, and I really want to be supportive of him. I’m just having a tough time not being completely grossed out by the vast age difference between my dad and his girlfriend and the itty bitty age difference between his girlfriend and his daughter.

Am I wrong here? Should I just get over myself and just be delighted my dad found someone he loves? Or is it totally creepy that my dad is dating someone less than two years older than his own daughter? Please help me find clarity and peace here, hive mind. If you’d prefer to e-mail me privately, send it to maydecsux at gmail.

Paralyzed With Resentment

Anonymous — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 14:30:23 -0800

How can I stop thinking about my father's bigotry, hatred, and intolerance? With the impending election, emotions are crazy right now. My father (and mother), a die hard Republican, is driving me crazy. I know that Republican does not equal racism or intolerance, but my father is a racist and intolerant. He knows I am voting Democrat this year and we are both tense and on the offensive. I rarely discuss politics with him because it's useless. He is unable to engage in civilized conversation. He mostly yells, interrupts, storms out of the room, and bullies me.

Differing political ideology isn't the only thing that is bothering me. I can't stop thinking about the time (three years ago) he told me he thought faulty parenting caused my cousin to be gay. I can't stop thinking about the time when he wanted to join the KKK, and had literature on his desk about the KKK. I think he was a member for a short time. Other things keep running through my head: The time he told me people that wore Malcom X hats were idiots. The endless and numerous lectures that black people were only looking for handouts. The time he accused my mother of raising my sibling and I as "nigger lovers".

In the last several years he has toned down his language, but I know he still holds these beliefs. He rarely used the N-word around growing up. He never denounced homosexuality outright. He has said, I don't care what gay men do, but some of them "do disgusting things." I hate him for it. He has sent me derogatory, racist emails and YouTube links denouncing Obama. He and my mother think all Democrats are "mean and hateful" and "will bite you on the hand if you let them." They also claim that Democrats are either looking for a welfare check, have class envy, or are elitists. I take all of their opinions as a personal attack and feel paralyzed by it. My chest hurts. I get headaches. I'm stressed. I've started clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth for the first time in my life. I feel like my father is a monster in a way. Who is this man that raised me? I'm ashamed. I'm envious of people that have normal relationships with their parents. At times I feel I don't want my kids around him, even though he never says anything hateful around my kids. I visit my parents almost weekly. On one of the latest visits he apologized for sending me emails. I never complained about the emails, he just apologized out of the blue.

I'm looking for coping strategies. I wish I could forget about his ignorant ways and accept that he is only fearful. How do I continue a relationship with him without feeling defensive and angry? I'm going crazy. I resent my mother for loving and marrying someone like this. I resent her for sharing his views. I'm on the defensive with both of my parents. I live 10 minutes away. I cannot cut ties. My father and I have had a very strained relationship for a long, long time. He was abusive in my childhood, all the way up to my late teens. Some years were better than others. The running theme was that my father never cared about my opinions. He isn't, and was never, interested in my life. In my dreams, aspirations, or thoughts. I don't think he respects my profession or my gender. I expressed interest in returning to school for my graduate degree. He asked, "What for? and "Why would you want to do that?"

I'm afraid of him in a way. I'm afraid of confrontation. I pleaded with my husband not to put an Obama sticker on his vehicle because, "I didn't want to deal with my father's bullshit."

Even if he wasn't a bigot, I'd still have the past abuse to deal with. I don't blame them for my problems but I do have resentment that surfaces on a regular basis. I'm in my mid thirties now. I've been to months and months of therapy. I thought I had all of this behind me. My father and mother are not without their good qualities. I want a relationship with them. Cutting ties at this stage in our lives would be painful, I think. I do try to avoid them. I don't call my parents as much as I used to. I sometimes blow off visits. I mostly dread visiting them. I'm ill at ease when I'm there. When I speak with my mother on the phone, I'm not myself. I'm afraid of what they might think. I'm afraid that they will judge me and think poorly of my decisions.

How do I cope? How can I be around them and stop being so defensive and angry? How can I relax? I want to be the enlightened person that can maintain a relationship with them without wanting to scream, or hate them.

When I was young me and my mama had beef

prefpara — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 09:09:32 -0800

How do I let go of the past? When I was growing up, my mom and I fought constantly. Sometimes, the fights were very bitter, and we would end up not speaking for months. During the worst fights, she said things to me that I have not forgiven. I definitely behaved badly, but I have been working on letting go of my guilt on that score, which has really helped us have a better relationship now that I am an adult and out of the house. However, I think I have reached a plateau. We don't fight, and we generally get along when we're together, but I can't get myself to include her in my life in any way. I want to have a good relationship with her, but I don't know what to do to get there.

I'm starting to think that at some point, I will have to talk to her about these issues. This is complicated by the fact that any time my childhood comes up, she starts crying and saying that she was a bad mother, which I resent and see as a manipulative move meant to make me feel sorry for her and reassure her, and to take away my ability to confront her with my feelings. Also, it works. I can't very well say, yes, you were a bad mother, and what are we going to do about it, when she just cries and generally acts wounded and makes me feel like a villain. Or maybe I should, but currently can't. In part, this is because I really don't know what I would want out of the conversation. I would tell her that she did x, y, and z wrong, she would cry, and then what? I can't visualize a way for the conversation to help or end constructively.

I really want to work on this on my own before I start working on it with her. Right now, despite the fact that she hasn't said a cross word to me in years, I am still incapable of opening up to her.

If you have had experience with a similar situation, please let me know if you think there are any ways of thinking about this that could be useful, or if you can suggest a way to talk to her, or really any advice that you have. I would like it if I didn't need to keep a wall between me and my mom. I just don't know how to unbuild it.

Finally, I very much appreciate all of your advice and help. However, I am hoping for answers that contain advice other than "seek therapy."

WIll going to warped tour warp her?

cosmicbandito — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 09:37:34 -0800

Should I take my 14 year old daughter to Warped tour? I'm thinking of taking my daughter and a friend to warped tour this summer. There are several bands we both like playing, and we went to a fairly good size live show at a club a few weeks ago. She liked that. I've never been to a big tour like warped and don't really know what to expect. Is it possible to have a good time and enjoy the show, or is it too hot, crowded, and full of jerks?

Films about Mothers and Daughters

mooza — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 22:03:59 -0800

Mothers and daughters and the films about them - can you name some? I'm trying to come up with a list of films that deal with motherhood, mothers and daughters, conflict and reconciliation and what have you. Specifically I'm after films about older mothers and grown up daughters, not stuff like Stepmom or Freaky Friday. Can you help?

A Father's Time Capsule to his Daughter

jonson — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 21:49:00 -0800

What should I put in a time capsule for my daughter? I'm increasingly obsessed with how time keeps moving faster as I get older, and with my daughter's 2nd birthday approaching at the end of this year, I thought it would be fun to bury a time capsule in our yard for her, to open in 2026, on her 21st birthday. I have all of the sentimental items, (for example, a letter I wrote her when I found out my wife was pregnant), but I really want her to get a feel not just for who her parents were when they were (semi)young & (semi)cool, but what life was like in America when she was too little to take notice of it. For reference, similar items the from same time in my own childhood would have included, for example, the original Washington Post Watergate scandal reporting or an 8 track tape of Led Zep IV. So what things should I consider that will help commemorate the times?

Rare possible match (dating), but how to ask out?

Quarter Pincher — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 11:49:55 -0800

AskingOutFilter: I've heard of a potential match from a third party.. how might I go about acquiring her contact details (or other info) in an uncreepy way? My grandmother recently completed a physical rehab program at a facility locally, and in conversing with the therapist, discovered that her daughter was a-hunting a fellow who did not want any kids with no such luck. My grandmother naturally mentioned her grandson, moi, who has been a-hunting a gal of the same stance with difficulty. So I am the fellow.. How would you suggest I go about getting contact details?

All I know about the potential match is, (a) her first name, (b) tall & slim, (c) works on a local AFB, probably in a civilian job, of which I do not have access, (d) the necessary childbearing stance, (e) where her mother works [and mother's 1st name], (e) that she's a church-goer [a plus], and that she's 2 years younger than me.

So, I'm thinking I should call the rehab office, ask for the phys.therapist by name or perhaps as "the therapist who helped [grandmother's name]"..

But should I in fact find myself in contact with this lady with success, I'm at a loss of what I should say as far as going about acquiring daughter contact info, in a completely non-psycho way. Enter hive mind.. (note: I am approximately as smooth talking as a tongueless axolotl)

Not-the-Exorcist movie?

Quarter Pincher — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 14:29:19 -0800

MovieTitleFilter: There was some movie trailer I saw this year about a youngish demonic/antichrist girl... I remember really wanting to see it although I am definitely not the horror/thriller moviegoer, but I have no idea what it is called. All I can remember is that it was about some scientist or scholarly type coming to visit a woman who had a really unusual daughter, with some implications of devil/antichrist/possession/satan/whatever, there was one scene with a bunch of either birds or moths (or winged somethings) in a room of the house, and specifically the quip along the lines of:

"Are you here to [kill/take/destroy] my daughter?"
"Oh, heavens no."
"Why not?"

I'm thinking the trailer was shown approximately the time that either the 2nd Pirates/Caribbean trailer, or the Children of Men trailer, would have been showing in theatres, before the release date for those. Or shown in a set of trailers that also included those in the trailer lineup (thus probably being the same production company)... Any earthly idea?

What does DS & DD mean in forums?

Maia — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 23:45:57 -0800

What does DS and DD mean on forums? So I always see people refer to their son or daughter as DS or DD, respectivly, on forums. Sample post
What the heck does this mean?

Not just a father but a dad

fijiwriter — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 07:54:34 -0800

Daddy-daughter advice, or what can you tell me that you've learned? The missus and I are expecting our first child in early February, and the thought of me being a dad to a daughter is seriously stressing me out. My dad wasn't too close to me and my sister until we got much older and were off to college, and the same for my wife's relationship with her dad. And I don't want to be the absent (or weekend) dad to her.

So, MeFi dads, what have you learned or done with your daughter that you care to pass along?

I'm looking more for daddy-daughter advice no matter her age, things to do together, what you did, what you had wish you had done, etc. I have no doubts of her relationship with her mom, but I don't want to be pushed away.

I'm very close to my nephew/godson, but it's purely high-energy activities and the typical "boy" activities and gifts. What I hope is that someday she can look back and think, "Yeah, Dad might be a little weird, but he was there always and we did so much together and I don't regret a thing."

Help with daughter

davcoo — Sat, 19 Aug 2006 11:24:51 -0800

I want to help my daughter but in the best way (kind of long). Hope I can explain our situation clearly enough. My 20-year-old daughter lives at home with us and is halfway through nursing (R.N.) school, which we pay for. She's an excellent student and has good judgment and good friends. She's volunteering part-time with two community service organizations and pays her own cell phone, car insurance, and personal expenses from her part-time job, which at this time is carhopping at a local drive-in fast food restaurant (good tips). Her boss is 17 years old, though, and apparently has lousy supervisory skills, so she really hates the job which isn't helping her battle with depression. She's applied for other jobs (hospital, home health care, etc.) but hasn't gotten any responses.

Out of a sense of responsibility she'll stay with the carhop job but my gut feeling is to tell her to quit and let us help her for what I think will be a short time until a better part-time job comes through. (When she graduates next year, her starting salary will be more than what I make now!) We could provide her with some work to do around the house.

She left for her job this morning crying, but I don't want to "come to the rescue" if it's not in her best interests ("don't quit when the going gets rough," etc.). Any and all opinions are very much appreciated.

How to help my teenaged daughter with her weight.

capcuervo — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 20:38:05 -0800

I have a bright, wonderful 19 year old daughter who is gradually becoming overweight. I love her dearly and think she's beautiful, but am concerned about future health, social and self-esteem issues if she continues gaining weight. I have never been critical of her on this issue. Proper diet and exercise is an important part of my life and I've hoped that she would come to emulate me in this area, but that's not happening. Any advice on how I might lovingly guide her to better diet and fitness habits without pressuring her, or having her resent me, or develop negative body image issues?

Help me quell my daughter's fear.

Ateo Fiel — Mon, 22 May 2006 11:27:54 -0800

My six year old daughter has recently (past few months or so) had a recurring fear of being kidnapped. I have tried many different tactics to quell this fear of hers, but would love to hear some possible tactics to relax my nervous midget.

Gift suggestions for a God Daughter?

stiffpicken — Tue, 17 Jan 2006 08:58:28 -0800

A very dear friend has asked me to be God Father to his young daughter. My friend and I go back 20 years - he's like a brother to me. What is an appropriate gift to give my soon-to-be God Daughter?

What's Pearl Jam's song "Daughter" about?

silusGROK — Tue, 27 Sep 2005 11:37:21 -0800

Does anyone know what Pearl Jam's "Daughter" song is about? I love their "Jeremy" song, and this one, too... but I can't parse the lyrics on "Daughter" for the life of me.