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Communication in the early days of dating

What are your tips to keeping the lines of communication open in the first few weeks of dating someone new? [more inside]
posted by toerinishuman on Feb 3, 2013 - 6 answers

Men are just intimidated by you? Come on really?

Give me your tough love criticism of why I'm single! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 2, 2013 - 56 answers

Am I wrong for getting a bad feeling about my boyfriend's dating coach?

Started dating a great guy, he became my boyfriend probably a month and a half ago. A few weeks into the relationship we were talking and it turns out that he has a "dating coach" and he still meets with her in weekly phone calls because he enjoys her advice. This rubbed the wrong way and googling her, I found she's also totally hot. It just creeps me out that this totally hot woman has so much impact on my boyfriend's life. [more inside]
posted by ponytime on Feb 2, 2013 - 51 answers

Is a facebook message a bad move for contacting the elusive lady?

I don't want to breech the fb borders yet, as I feel it could kill some of the mystery and magic of getting to know her in real life, but we may never cross paths again. Do I exercise my limited patience for a moment that I can't wait for or just send a msg and start the ball rolling? [more inside]
posted by talljamal on Feb 1, 2013 - 26 answers

On the timeliness of relationships, on overcoming sexual trauma

Please share your knowledge about the customs of dating, my question being from the point of view of a sexual abuse victim, and of the reactions of men who go on dates with her. [more inside]
posted by Jireel on Feb 1, 2013 - 37 answers

It's not you, it's me... Or is it?

Need strategies for not getting stuck in my own mind for hours every day over thinking a new relationship. How to know whether you are ruining things in your own head or things are not right? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2013 - 9 answers

How do you spot Dating Warning Phrases?

Can you help me to better distinguish cheery lovebird songs vs. the squawks of ailing canaries in my dating coal mine? [more inside]
posted by argonauta on Jan 30, 2013 - 89 answers

How should I talk to my boyfriend about me being unhappy with him?

We've been together almost 2 years and at first I thought he was almost a perfect match for me. We got along, he made me so happy, he's so sweet, makes me laugh, and considerate. I know that every relationships get into the comfortable phase but lately I feel like he has taken me for granted and has gotten way too comfortable to the point I'm starting to lose interest in our relationship. I no longer look forward to seeing him and want to be alone, say I love you, kiss, or anything. [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Jan 30, 2013 - 50 answers

My crazy is escaping! Help me pull it back in.

Bad divorce, after many years of pretty much only dating men I really didn't care about, I finally met a great guy that I want to care about very much. Help me not fuck it up. [more inside]
posted by Lizlemondrop on Jan 28, 2013 - 14 answers

Resources for dealing with your widowed parents starting to date?

My recently-widowed father seems to have started dating. What are some resources to deal with the emotions I'm going through and the ones that will no doubt come up later? [more inside]
posted by nursegracer on Jan 28, 2013 - 14 answers

I'm just a gal who caint say "No" - I'm in a terribul fix

Sex and social life is all screwy. FWB, hookups, extreme libido - need help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2013 - 18 answers

I lik ur profile

How do I get a fair size (100+ messages) corpus of first-contact messages on dating sites? [more inside]
posted by curuinor on Jan 25, 2013 - 9 answers

Should I cancel my date?

I arranged a date with one guy, then had another absolutely fantastic date in the interim, & really want to focus on that. Should I cancel the other date? [more inside]
posted by littlegreen on Jan 24, 2013 - 19 answers

Exposed to HIV but not infected. Do I need to tell?

I was exposed to HIV last year, but am not infected. Do I need to disclose this to future partners? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2013 - 39 answers

What is the dating world actually like?

I have a friend who insists on a certain way of understanding how men and women couple off. Basically, he sees the situation as rather animalistic, where all the women are essentially waiting to be asked out, and the first men to do so get the "choicest" women. The rest of the women are left for, well, the rest of the men. Obviously, this is pretty traditional/sexist/chauvinistic. Anyway, barring all that, he feels a constant urgency to get to women "before somebody else does," because "the best women will be taken." Of course, I understand asking someone out before someone else does, but his theory is off-putting to me. It seems like human personalities, reasoning, circumstances, geographies, and cultures throw a monkey-wrench into his theory. Things are a lot more complicated in my mind. Do you have an alternative way of seeing the dating world, have a different experience, or are there any studies that you could point me to on this subject?
posted by uncannyslacks on Jan 23, 2013 - 38 answers

The one I like isn't the one it will probably work out with.

I'm a woman, 20s. I'm talking to two women - A and B. A has everything I want on paper, and there's a spark there... but there's more of a spark with B, who has next to nothing I want on paper. Is it a bad idea to pick B? [more inside]
posted by Pericardium on Jan 23, 2013 - 18 answers

My boyfriend's kid is here for a month. Should I be a presence?

My boyfriend has a kid from his previous marriage, who is now long distance. He'll be coming to stay for a month in a few months, and I'm not sure what to do! (so many snowflake details!) [more inside]
posted by euphoria066 on Jan 22, 2013 - 22 answers

Performance anxiety - what can I do to help?

Very excited about a new guy I'm seeing. We were getting hot & heavy and he admitted to having performance anxiety issues, that he would like to go slow, and just needs to get comfortable with me. What can I do to ease his mind... & body? Slightly NSFW. [more inside]
posted by hollypolly on Jan 18, 2013 - 13 answers

Fell for someone who lives far away. What now?

I met a guy who was only here for 2 weeks visiting. Unexpectedly, I really like him a lot, and I need some advice on what to do next. [more inside]
posted by anonymousme on Jan 15, 2013 - 20 answers

It's not you, it's me - or maybe it is you? I'm not sure.

It's been 2 months. You have a great first date with a guy from internet. Chemistry! Romance! Sexual Attraction! Best first date ever. But the female has undesirable qualities. After a few more dates the female confronts the male about his intentions. He then calls her back in a passionate telephone call and says he's willing to have a go. Sadly, he seems to not really be that into her. He then again a few weeks later reiterates his fondness for the female, despite hang ups and she's now rethinking her position. [more inside]
posted by Danithegirl on Jan 15, 2013 - 28 answers

Is the guy I'm dating not interested and ignoring me?

I have been dating a guy and he hasn't responded to my text message for over a day, its quite unlike him. Why is he ignoring me? I was wondering if anyone can help me understand what is happening? Has anyone had this experience before and guys in particular, what do you think? Am I over-reacting? [more inside]
posted by artystar on Jan 15, 2013 - 60 answers

Not sure if he likes me or not.

A guy called Matt used to flirt with me a lot and said I was one of the prettiest girls he has seen, asked me out but never went through with it, making me confused. I asked him out and he said yes but in the end nothing happened. I made out with his friend (did not know they knew each other) and yesterday Matt told me that he used to like me but wanted to take things slowly, but will not do anything now because of what happened. Is that just an excuse for him to reject me? Should I should just let this go? Thank you!
posted by lovisa91 on Jan 12, 2013 - 20 answers

How much contact is appropriate after a break-up?

I broke up with my then-fiancée in September 2012. What is the appropriate amount of contact after a break-up? I've struggled with finding a good balance. Give me some advice for the next go-round. [more inside]
posted by mellosphere on Jan 8, 2013 - 32 answers

How to handle a guy from texting me gracefully?

How do I stop a guy I met at a party from texting me when I already told him upfront I wasn't looking for a relationship? We may end up running into each other again in the future because we met through a meetup event. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2013 - 17 answers

Guy friend being confusing

Is my close guy friend into me, confused or just being flirty? [more inside]
posted by Butterflye1010 on Jan 2, 2013 - 25 answers

How can I encourage more open communication with people?

Help with encouraging communication early in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by randomnity on Jan 2, 2013 - 6 answers

The Curious Incident of the Disappearing Man

A man with whom I was once-upon-a-time very much in love pops back into my life about once a year, then vanishes again. Do I stop him? Do I just roll with it? Blizzard inside. [more inside]
posted by like_a_friend on Dec 31, 2012 - 37 answers

Should I pursue a casual FWB relationship with this narcissistic but very intellectually interesting and sexy jerk?

Should I pursue a casual FWB relationship with this narcissistic but very intellectually interesting and sexy jerk? [more inside]
posted by tamagogirl on Dec 27, 2012 - 109 answers

Help my mouth get it on

I am 24 years old and have never kissed a guy. I want to change this by my birthday 6 months from now. I have a lot of anxiety about it and am also holding onto romantic feelings for a close friend who lives far away. What's the best approach?
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2012 - 17 answers

Are my concerns valid/ Should I just ask him out?

I want to ask a guy out. I have some concerns and am wondering if I shouldn't. Please give me your advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2012 - 30 answers

getting older, horny as ever

Horny Old Man Filter: Tips for ensuring that my straight dude's libido ages gracefully. [more inside]
posted by sureshot on Dec 23, 2012 - 39 answers

I like him a lot, but I don't feel like I have much to give in a relationship. He wants to wait, I have PTSD and I'm not so sure.

I like him a lot, but I have PTSD don't feel like I have much to give in a relationship. He wants to wait, but I'm not so sure. [more inside]
posted by proximacentauri on Dec 22, 2012 - 7 answers

How can I make my eyes brighter and less tired-looking?

How do I make the area around my eyes look softer and younger? I have genetics, Lasik complications and sinus issues working against me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 19, 2012 - 15 answers


How do you handle developing relationships in grad school? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2012 - 20 answers

How do I ensure things stay platonic, but friendly, with this guy?

I just got asked by email to meet for drinks by this guy in my Meetup group. He's a nice person, and I'd like to be friends. I have a boyfriend, and I don't think he knows this. How do I politely deflect? [more inside]
posted by iadacanavon on Dec 16, 2012 - 23 answers

Is this settling? Is that really such a bad thing?

I'm dating someone who I respect and admire more than almost anyone else I know. He loves me. But I'm not in love with him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 15, 2012 - 54 answers

How can I turn him down without crushing him?

How can I avoid leading a guy on when he won't come out and state his attraction? [more inside]
posted by chocolatemilkshakes on Dec 14, 2012 - 28 answers

Telling my online dates that they were not the chosen ones

I was dating multiple people from OKcupid and Match, and now I've gotten serious with a guy I met outside of online dating and am no longer looking. Who should know? [more inside]
posted by ponytime on Dec 14, 2012 - 13 answers

How do I handle a friend who is potentially messing up my love life?

My date canceled on me because he's best friends with a guy who is in love with me...even though I have absolutely no feelings for said friend and I've told him so. How do I handle this? [more inside]
posted by mlk915 on Dec 13, 2012 - 64 answers

Casual relationships and gender norms, plus any feedback on this guy's behavior?

Mixed signals from a guy I made out with. What do they mean? Any hopes for further fun? And also, on a philosophical level, what are your thoughts on women pursuing men and differences in the rules of the game for dating versus casual fun? [more inside]
posted by thesnowyslaps on Dec 12, 2012 - 25 answers

Frienddate? But I just want to kiss your face. :(

I have a second date coming up this weekend. I think. The guy seems to like me in some way, but there is an odd vibe with the friend vs. date signals and I have no idea how to proceed. Any advice? [more inside]
posted by houndsoflove on Dec 11, 2012 - 20 answers

Deep online relationship - what to do?

Over the past 5 months, I've fallen into a deep relationship. I'm not sure where to go next and would like your thoughts. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2012 - 20 answers

Hello from the bottom of a pit.

I feel like I'm at the bottom of a deep pit, and it will take a long series of successful maneuvers to get out of the pit. Other people's lives don't seem to be pit-shaped. Help me make this pit go away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 9, 2012 - 22 answers

How do I prevent myself from thinking I'm alone forever

A short-term relationship just ended, and I'm okay With that. But how do I stop myself from going down the spiral of "I'm going to be alone forever"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 8, 2012 - 11 answers

Is it really taking a break from dating if your head is still in it?

Is it really taking a break from dating if your head is still in it? [more inside]
posted by Cybria on Dec 7, 2012 - 6 answers

Dating a dad, feeling marginalized

I'm dating a divorced dad. I realize his kid is always and rightfully going to be his top priority, but is he going too far? I feel like he's spoiling her and creating a situation in which I will get excluded in the same way his ex-wife was excluded. [more inside]
posted by ceiba on Dec 7, 2012 - 84 answers

Where do people compromise?

Did you have expectations for a potential partner, then find someone, and they didn't fit them - and it worked out? [more inside]
posted by Ashlyth on Dec 6, 2012 - 18 answers

Best friends are dating behind my back - how to deal?

I think my best friends are dating behind my back which hurts my feelings. To further complicate matters, I like one of the best friends in a romantic way and I don't know how to deal with the whole situation. Help!!! [more inside]
posted by cyml on Nov 25, 2012 - 25 answers

Healthy and fulfilling expectations for a relationship

What are the healthy and fulfilling expectations of what a relationship should be and do for you? [more inside]
posted by yeahyeahyeah on Nov 25, 2012 - 8 answers

Men are simple creatures, right?

He's just not that into you, yadda yadda yadda... or is he? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 25, 2012 - 21 answers

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