2095 posts tagged with dating.
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First and second date within 48 hours-Money don't matter tonight?

I finally got to ask a coworker out for coffee. The meeting, I think, went down pretty well. 1 and 1/2 hour of good conversation with no awkward silences as far as I know. We had previously talked briefly several times at the workplace, and I knew we shared several interests, which I confirmed after today's mostly pleasant encounter. HOWEVER... [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Jul 12, 2013 - 17 answers

How can I get him to leave?

I am a woman in my early 30s and have had a few dates with a guy. We have not been to each other's homes yet. That is going to change tomorrow night though. I invited him over to my house and he enthusiastically accepted. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 12, 2013 - 28 answers

How to stop dating

My most recent relationship ended in disaster. After two years of dancing around each other my most recent SO decided to give "us" a try. However they broke up with me less than week later, simply because they changed their mind...I really wanted this, so I am very hurt and angry now. I was telling a close friend, and he said that he's starting to think I don't want to be happy because I really wanted to be in a relationship with someone who couldn't stay with me more than a few days. I don't want to date anymore, at least for a long time. I don't know if I can turn off the desire to date or be with someone else. I don't know how this works honestly. Any advice? (sidenote: My SO really did just change her mind...there wasn't an argument that lead the break up or anything. She has always been scared of relationships but wanted to keep me in her life, so she wanted to try dating me rather than me cut her off altogether because I wanted to move on. Oh well.)
posted by Cybria on Jul 12, 2013 - 18 answers

Blind double date

Without really meaning to, my girlfriend and I got ourselves into the position of setting up two people who don't know each other on a double date. What can we do to make it as un-weird as possible? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2013 - 16 answers

Dating while socially awkward

I'm no good at conversation. Should I bother with dating? [more inside]
posted by enigmatologist on Jul 10, 2013 - 26 answers

Can I block someone on Facebook so that I can't see *them*?

I've just discovered that the person I've been dating has been cheating on me. I found this out by looking at his FB profile (we're not 'friends') and finding that he's changed his profile pic to one of him with another woman. I want to block his FB profile so that I can't see him. Ever. I want his profile to be inaccessible to me, to stop me from checking it. Is this possible? Or should I just shut down my own profile for a while? What else can I do to make him 'dead' to me? I'm hurting really badly at the moment. I tend to obsess about things, so I need to clear him out of my life. Thanks.
posted by Salamander on Jul 6, 2013 - 13 answers

Should we really though? Really? *Squints like Larry David*

Is "We should get a drink sometime" actually a very polite rejection? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 4, 2013 - 26 answers

shy person dating

Can you help an unexperienced, shy person figure out if I'm doing this dating thing right? [more inside]
posted by swamp rocket on Jul 4, 2013 - 14 answers

Help me not focus on my lust for a guy that's bad for me.

About a month ago, I started dating an absolutely lovely man, and I immediately called things off with my friend with benefits at the time without much in the way of closure. I'm enjoying my time with the dating guy A LOT, but the fwb is texting and calling and I feel tempted. Help me with brain hacks to let go of this lust. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2013 - 29 answers

Where should I tell online dates that I work?

I work for a well-known company and I'm never sure what to say when a guy I've met via an online dating site asks where I work. I don't feel comfortable giving this information out, just like I would never give someone my home address. Obviously 99% of the time it would be fine, but it's very easy to find my company's address, and there are some crazies out there who could conceivably show up at my office if things ever turned sour. [more inside]
posted by whitelily on Jun 24, 2013 - 47 answers

Girlfriend met a guy on dating site. This isn't settling well with me.

My girlfriend, who is lonely, used a dating site to make a "friend" which I'm having difficulty coping with. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2013 - 81 answers

Who keeps the friends after a breakup?

Is it fair to a girl I was semi-casually dating if I continue attending her church after we broke up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2013 - 27 answers

Why do I always end up in the 'Friend Zone'?

This happens to me far too often when I've dated men, I hear the 'I like you as a friend' after a handful of dates far too often. Is there something I could be doing wrong? [more inside]
posted by bluehermit on Jun 11, 2013 - 33 answers

Is it acceptable to date multiple people at a time?

I'm in my late twenties, straight and male and I've been having a persistent problem in relationships: I like dating, and I don't like being exclusive after a month or two of dating. I also don't like spending 4-5 days a week with someone after that amount of time. What can I do and how can I set expectations while emphasizing I'm not trying to have casual sex with a lot of people? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2013 - 20 answers

Sorry OKC, I think we need to see other people

So now that IAC has ruined OKCupid what are the best alternatives? [more inside]
posted by prunes on Jun 10, 2013 - 9 answers

Date or wait?

I'm a man in his mid-twenties. I've never been in a relationship. I've never even taken anyone out on a date. I want to rectify this, but I think my mental health and my living situation prevent me from doing so. Should I even try to date? If not, what should I do? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2013 - 35 answers

meant friendship or something else?

opinion please! [more inside]
posted by MiuMiu on Jun 9, 2013 - 51 answers

What do I do about my awkward book collection?

I'm dating a nurse. I also have a collection of 400 nurse-themed romance paperbacks. When we started dating, I hid them under the bed. Can they ever come out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 9, 2013 - 29 answers

I like to swear, take in rescue cats, and use a wheelchair. You?

What dating site should I use? Reeeeeeaal special details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 9, 2013 - 12 answers

Loneliness and OKCupid, part 2

A few weeks ago I, a hetero male in his early 30s, asked about dating and using OKCupid with some restrictions: no kids, no religion, no alcohol being the main ones. This is a follow-up to that AskMe, but going beyond OKCupid. [more inside]
posted by moonlit walk on the sun on Jun 8, 2013 - 70 answers

I know they're nice, but they're not for me!

I'm in an amazing relationship, with someone I've known for over two years, and we've been dating for a year-ish. We're both women in our early 20's. I've only dated women up to this point, and been very happy with that. It seems that my brain doesn't want to keep that status quo anymore and is trying to convince me I want to experience being with men. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2013 - 10 answers

How do I attract and date men (not boys) ?

I'm in my 30s but still feel/look/act like I'm much younger, so I tend to roll with a younger crowd and my last 3 boyfriends were all 2-4 years younger than I am. This needs to stop. [more inside]
posted by hellameangirl on Jun 5, 2013 - 53 answers

Fear and Loving in NYC

Why am I not successful in love and lust? [more inside]
posted by nob'dy on Jun 5, 2013 - 35 answers

Does waiting for someone with "issues" ever work out?

I'm in love with a guy, he has too many issues to be in a relationship right now... Has anyone ever waited for a person like this and had it work out? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Jun 1, 2013 - 46 answers

when is it reasonable to take down the online dating profile?

when to expect the person you met online to stop looking and remove their profiles? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2013 - 24 answers

How long should a first date be?

I know this question can have really varying answers, but I'm wondering if I should be doing something to curtail the length of first dates (and I guess second and third, just the early few) slightly. Right now I'm finding they run about three hours and I'm wondering if I should be keeping them shorter and lighter. [more inside]
posted by zutalors! on May 30, 2013 - 20 answers

Disabled dating

I'm a 23 year old recent college grad who has yet to go on his first date, let alone sleep with someone. All my life I was panned as some asexual anomaly and so the societal pressure to date that haunts so many other people well before their 16th birthday never really got to me. That is, until recently. I'm a reasonably good looking and witty guy, and yet, in 2013, it's way harder than it ought to be to find someone that's okay, on a fundamental level, with dating someone in a wheelchair. It doesn't help that a) I'm bisexual and b) have an issue with my speech where I will tend to block up/ get spastic. It's usually, though I can't say exclusively, an issue when I need to face the anxiety of meeting someone new. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on May 30, 2013 - 17 answers

How awful are these comments from my new boyfriend?

How would you feel if your boyfriend told you he wouldn't have dated someone like you when he was younger? [more inside]
posted by waving on May 29, 2013 - 78 answers

Help a dating n00b?

Jumping back into the dating pool and hoping for some hacks and advice specific to finding the kind of people that interest me... [more inside]
posted by justonegirl on May 29, 2013 - 25 answers

Should I go no contact or continue to hang out?

I met this girl last year at a party, she was slightly interested in me back then (I found out from her recently) but never pursued me and we did not keep in touch. I met her once again 2 months ago, this time I was mesmerised at first sight. I hung out with her 2 times with my friends and finally mustered the courage to ask her out on a date. She said yes, but I could sense from the get go that she was not as into me as I was into her, stating that she wants to take things slow. We went out on 3 dates, made out on the first and slept together on the third. Two days later, she said I was sending out cues that I'm very serious about it and am possessive of her, and how that freaks her out. She said that she is in no shape for a relationship in that she needs to heal and is going through too many things at this point in time. [more inside]
posted by polyhistor on May 29, 2013 - 32 answers

My friend with anxiety won't help himself and I don't know what to do

A friend of mine refuses to address his anxiety issues. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but also don't know how much more I can take. Please help. [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on May 28, 2013 - 15 answers

Apologize or leave it alone?

Long story short... been seeing a guy (30) for about three months (I'm 27). Early last week I attempted to make plans with him for the weekend, but he couldn't lock anything down. He then asked me both Sat and Sun nights to get together later that night after he was done doing other things. Upset because I had tried to make actual plans with him much earlier in the week, I responded that I'm not a booty call. He said sorry and we could do something another night and I said I would like that, but haven't heard from him since. My question is.. do I attempt to explain why I interpreted it the way I did or just give him some space? And was I even justified to be upset? I sense that he was losing interest before this happened and it probably seemed to come out of nowhere, so I'm afraid I may have blown it.
posted by starsatnight on May 28, 2013 - 62 answers

How can I talk with my friend about his dating life given our history?

I have a very good friend who I spend time with on a regular basis. In recent history (and maybe probably for the foreseeable future) he has been depressed about his dating life, so naturally, it is a subject that comes up and I discuss it with him. However, given our past history together, it's been a really hard subject for me to discuss with him and I would like some help navigating this from the hivemind. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2013 - 11 answers

Accidental penpals

I've just started talking to this (really neat!) guy on OKCupid; I like him a lot & we seem to have a ton in common. However, we won't be in the same place until August. How do I gently steer him away from a penpal-esque situation while still keeping him interested? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2013 - 12 answers

Approaching mid 30s single; telling people to mind their own business?

I am a female and have never been married and live with my cat. After a disastrous relationship where I "attempted" to settle 2 years ago, I have been single. Every time I talk to relatives and "well meaning" friends they keep teasing me that I am a "cat lady" and reminding me of my biological clock. [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on May 25, 2013 - 59 answers

How do I keep one (little) footbridge unburned in a breakup?

I am trying to write a short breakup email to someone I need to go "no contact" with for a while... while still leaving a relatively positive line of communication open between us, longer-term. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by argonauta on May 24, 2013 - 14 answers

How can we move from awkward phone conversations to real dates?

I met a guy online and I'm interested in him. The feeling seems to be mutual, but I feel like we're stuck in an awkwardly unclear moment that leaves at least one of us (me) in limbo. How can we crawl out of this limbo and progress to something meaningful? [more inside]
posted by lilacp on May 23, 2013 - 30 answers

Who originally thought of this dating-related experiment?

Write the numbers 1 to 20 on a set of cards, one per card but two cards of each number, put them on the foreheads of a group of twenty men and twenty women, and give them a couple minutes to try to pair up with the person of the opposite sex with the highest-ranked card: they will always end up with someone close to their own rank. Who originally thought of this? [more inside]
posted by renovatio1 on May 20, 2013 - 7 answers

Did 26F do the right thing to 30M?

26F have been seeing 30M about 1x a week for almost three months with no conversations about what it is. His actions suggest that his interest level is moderate but not high, my interest level is high but that has not been expressed, though the last few times I have been the one to initiate plans. Most recently, he suggested an alternate plan to my invitation, but feeling frusterated, I never responded. Not sure what action I should take from here... am I wrong to think he will contact me again if his interest level is higher than I percieve? Or wrong to go radio silent when he has never done the same to me?
posted by starsatnight on May 20, 2013 - 19 answers

Dating and OKCupid as a childfree loner

I'm childfree, meaning I don't have kids and don't want them. I'm also on the far end of the loner scale. I have some questions about finding a partner and using OKCupid to do it. [more inside]
posted by moonlit walk on the sun on May 19, 2013 - 49 answers

How do I deal with someone I dated for six weeks two years ago...

... who was not my friend beforehand and dumped me dishonestly and, it seems, also rather callously? This happened 2 years ago (!) and it should be SO over by now, but in the past year our circle of common acquaintances in this small college town has multiplied in such a way that he is even - literally - in my food sometimes. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2013 - 24 answers

How to go no contact with an abuser?

I left my abuser 8 months ago. He contacts me semi-frequently, and I have replied to his more innocuous emails. Now I want to go No Contact. How? [more inside]
posted by sockermom on May 19, 2013 - 26 answers

I consider myself married to my work

How to explain in a concise way why I'm not interested in dating anyone now and anytime soon? [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on May 17, 2013 - 43 answers

Okay, SHOW me how you move from talking to kissing.

I honestly don't understand how "chemistry" works or what it means for "sparks to fly". When I go on a date it looks like this: I ask a question, she replies; she asks a question, I reply; I make an observation, she concurs or demurs; she makes an observation, I concur or demur; repeat for an hour or two, after which we both say "it was nice meeting you" and each go home. Sometimes I ask for a second date, and if she agrees, the second date looks exactly like the first. At what point are you supposed to go "Oh yeah, I went backpacking in South America once too, and don't you think Natalie Portman was pretty good in that movie, and now if you don't mind I am going to lean in and kiss you." I know you're supposed to flirt and try to make the girl laugh, but I'm not much good at doing this and when I try it comes across as wooden at best, creepy at worst. What I want is to see this process modeled. I would like to see actual footage of real people dating and crossing the boundary between "platonic small talk" and "romance". I know this sounds weird -- who'd videotape a date? -- but stranger things have been found on the internet. Any leads?
posted by zeri on May 16, 2013 - 46 answers

Confused by guy's behavior

I just had an unsettling dating experience. What exactly happened here? [more inside]
posted by timsneezed on May 15, 2013 - 73 answers

Is this where I communicate with him, or give him space?

The guy I've been dating is pulling away, and I need some help wading through the conflicting 'wisdom'. [more inside]
posted by Salamander on May 14, 2013 - 29 answers

How much is too much when trying to ask a girl out on a date?

I met a girl at a party and things were going well until I started acting desperate. What can I do to get the situation under control? [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on May 13, 2013 - 57 answers

Are most guys' minds creepy (or sex sex sex? :/)

Incident report of a young woman and much older upper-middle class man. [more inside]
posted by MiuMiu on May 10, 2013 - 85 answers

OKCupid reality check for a new dater

I’m a late-30’s woman trying OKCupid for the first time. Can you give me general advice, some tips on keeping my expectations realistic, and suggestions to avoid getting too much of my self-esteem tied up in whether or not Random Dude responds to me? [more inside]
posted by Ms.Stocking on May 8, 2013 - 31 answers

Dating (and friendship): Screening for reliability

How do you screen for reliability and filter out self-centered/selfish nature in dating in real life and online dating? And, how do you find out whether a person (for dating or friendship) is a 'giver' or a 'taker'? By reliability and being a giver, I don't mean something as trivial as calling when they say they will. I mean more like being there for you when you are going through one or more major challenging life events, putting the relationship and "us" before individual interests especially when the going gets rough for you and not for them individually. Does this kind of reliability even exist among partners and can one really, truly, deeply trust another human being or do you feel you always have to watch your back even with a partner of months or years or decades?
posted by xm on May 7, 2013 - 20 answers

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