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Do you like me or what?

I kinda think the dude likes me but I'm not sure and I'm tired of waiting to find out [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Apr 7, 2013 - 17 answers


What are examples and definition of boyish behavior in an adult male?

I've recently been told that I act boyish by several people and I do not entirely understand what this means nor can anyone who has said this actually explain it well (versus being "a man"). I'm an adult male, and understand that this kind of behavior may be an obstacle to dating women and finding a girlfriend. I tend to joke around a lot (especially with women), but a lot of people joke around, so it's difficult for me to equate joking around with boyishness. I also laugh a lot. One female friend said that I'm like "a little boy" and that she felt comfortable talking to me(otherwise she has almost no other male friends). I have a job, my own place to live, no roommates, a car. All adult, responsible things so I can't see these comments about being boyish related to lacking responsibility. Does anyone have any specific examples of behaviors, ways of interacting, or conversations that they consider to be boyish? Thanks for your help
posted by itshaytime on Apr 5, 2013 - 37 answers

I'm having serial crushes. What should I do about them?

I used to be happily single. I hardly ever got crushes on anyone and wasn't really bothered by my lack of a dating life. For the last six months, however, I've been in a new and unusual situation where I'm meeting lots of great guys, and I've been getting serial crushes - something totally new to me. Even though they aren't particularly deep crushes, it's gotten to the point where "must. date. guy. now." seems to be constantly buzzing around in the back (or front) of my mind. Unfortunately, circumstances are such that it seems that 1) I am unlikely to actually get a date, and 2) even if I could get the dating life I want, pursuing it at this point might not be advisable. How can I stop being so hung up on my desire to be dating someone? Alternatively, are my concerns unwarranted and should I try pursuing dates more actively? Details/complications within. [more inside]
posted by st elmo's fire on Apr 5, 2013 - 6 answers

Friendship non-romance dating question

I met this guy who approached me on an internet dating site (I am guy as well). I didn't find him physically attractive, but he seemed nice, we had a lot in common, and go to the same college, so I met up (I told him I wasn't really looking for a relationship at the time and just wanted to be friend). We met twice, and had a good time (as friends). He was cool, although we really didn't click like soul mates. I'm pretty sure he's interested in something more, but I'm definitely not. He wants to get together again, but I'm really conflicted about what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2013 - 22 answers

I dated a bad boy and now I don't know how to get over him.

I recently dated this guy whom I have to admit I liked him a lot for the sex in spite of everything else I hated about him. He is your definition of a player, he is hot and cold, talks to you one weekend, and not talk to you the next. After three months of hot and cold behaviors, I have finally decided to let him go but inside I am still hurting. Any heart to heart advice? [more inside]
posted by Likeashadow on Apr 2, 2013 - 15 answers

Advice for the anxiously attached.

I'm in a great new relationship, yay! It's been about 4 months. I like her. She likes me. But I am a classic anxiously attached type, and I would like your advice on how to cope with the "omg what will I do when she figures out I'm a loser and she dumps me and why didn't she call last night and she seemed annoyed when I said that and omg what if she doesn't like me anymore" feeling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Break up with a man I'm not very attracted to? Feeling crappy.

I have been dating a man for just over a month that I met online. He is 41 and I am 33. He is simply lovely: kind, attentive, complimentary, generous, funny, smart, gainfully employed, family oriented and wants children, likes me a lot, socially/environmentally conscientious, cooks well, nice sense of style, has friends, etc. And, I'm not very physically attracted to him. I am 5'2" and his profile says he is 5'7" but I think he exaggerated ~two inches and has a slight frame. He is very fit, but the cave woman in me seeks a more commanding physical partner. There are other things about his physicality and bedside manner that don't "do it" for me, either, but the main thing is that I just prefer bigger men. [more inside]
posted by AlmondEyes on Apr 1, 2013 - 35 answers

How to stop pining, take action, or get over it?

What should I do about the ex that haunts me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 19 answers

Suggesting a private meeting with a coworker instead of asking her out?

(Not overly timid, just tactful.) I -male, 30-would like to get to know better a coworker -female mid 30s- I find both good-hearted and attractive. We´ve chatted briefly a couple of times (our shifts at work overlap twice a week, late in the evening) and I've felt what might conceivably be chemistry and shared values/interests. I've also noticed she's gentle with basically everybody, and I would naturally prefer to avoid awkwardness should I have been mistaking workplace congeniality for potential romantic interest. Contextual limitations: There are no coffee or lunch breaks during the times we are both at the workplace. Based on some of her responses, she checks her mail around once a week at most. Dinner after work at a nearby place would be technically possible, but probably too forward a proposal for a first date. I´m interested in finding out whether she would be up for a one-on-one encounter, but I want to be specially tactful given the fact that 1) we´ll be seeing each other after the invitation/date. 2) there are normally colleagues overhearing us (just concerned about face-saving, dating is not against the rules here). How would you approach this situation? [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Apr 1, 2013 - 14 answers

Foolish Comment Ruins Chance With Amazing Woman

I recently met an amazing, smart woman. On our third date, I made a stupid comment that offended her. I made it worse by trying to cover myself. I really want to salvage this situation and see this woman again. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2013 - 55 answers

OKC's Kiss/Kill/Marry

Have you (or someone you know) been successful with individuals who are a low match for you on OKC? I consider low to be below '80% Match'. This is assuming you've both answered at least a 100 questions. Success I consider to be at least a few months of going out. I'm trying to get a sense of whether it is reasonable to ignore contact from low-matching individuals or if those scores are just meaningless once you get to know someone in person. Should you give that person a shot or is it a waste of time? I'm not so much concerned with the friend or enemy score.
posted by who squared on Mar 31, 2013 - 32 answers

How to avoid communication with the girl before the first date?

I met a girl at a bar and I want to know how to avoid chatting with her all week before our first date. [more inside]
posted by Atlantic on Mar 31, 2013 - 25 answers

Am I just not couple material?

I can't tell if I’m overreacting/over analyzing because I've been single for so long. Do I just need time to adjust to being a couple? Should I just calm down and stick it out for awhile? [more inside]
posted by g33kygal on Mar 25, 2013 - 28 answers

Online dating... we've moved to phone, what now?

So I met this guy online, we recently spoke over the phone for the first time and have spoken one other time after that. First conversation was about 20 minutes and the next was maybe 10 and took place this morning. We met on the type of dating site where people are matched for long-term relationships - what I'm trying to say here is we know we're not trying to just find friends. I am trying not to waste my time here and want to get to know what he is thinking so that if we're not on the same page I can move on, preferably before my membership online ends. [more inside]
posted by lilacp on Mar 24, 2013 - 24 answers

Do something sweet for a single mom who has a busy, stressful life

What sweet or thoughtful things could I do for a single mom that I'm dating? [more inside]
posted by mtphoto on Mar 21, 2013 - 12 answers

He texts me everyday but has never asked me out

I never initiate the texts except for a couple of times, but always reply and am nice and friendly. He texts me about anything, and usually sends funny images. He also hangs out with me randomly, for example yesterday I was giving out food for an event and he came without his friends to be with me. But he has made no moves other than that, as in no touching or complimenting me, but maybe he is not very good at flirting. I have had bad experiences when telling a guy first that I am interested. I don't like playing games, but I am wondering if I should be more challenging and mysterious? Does it seem like he is interested? He's been texting me for a month now. Thanks!
posted by lovisa91 on Mar 21, 2013 - 38 answers

The ex is moving on, I thought I was but I'm not. What do I do?

My head is a mess after seeing my ex tonight for the first time since we broke up, kissing her, and finding out she had a thing with another girl that never went anywhere. I'm hurt but doing okay, but I'm afraid that if I don't take some kind of action I'm going to get incredibly more hurt in the near future. But what do I do now? [more inside]
posted by Pericardium on Mar 20, 2013 - 23 answers

Can the grass truly be greener somewhere else?

I'll try to be as brief and succinct as I can. Please bear with me. [more inside]
posted by strelitzia on Mar 19, 2013 - 23 answers

stop me from putting her on a pedestal

I've realized that I put my ex-girlfriend on a pedestal. I didn't realize it because I thought it was best to think of someone before yourself, to think of their needs/wants first, to see the good in them, negotiate on the things that don't work but as i read more about this pedestal, I'm certain i do this and getting confused on where/how to draw lines. I'm not sure how to approach this issue in a healthy way. And now that she is on that pedestal...how do i get her off or avoid this with the next girl. I'm looking for real strategies, interventions and hacks that i can practice. Specific examples are also very helpful (like he said this, I said that). Cds, books, videos that can change my perception also helpful. thanks.
posted by PeaPod on Mar 19, 2013 - 6 answers

Marrying a relative

Someone I know is dating his aunt's(dad's sister) grand daughter. Age difference 6 years. And spoke to me about this, I mentioned I am not sure about the custom. They both have higher education, have good job and decent family people. What would their relationship be second cousin once removed? Is it socially/religiously accepatable if they end up in altar, have kids etc?
posted by globalbuddy on Mar 19, 2013 - 43 answers

Feeling rejected and awful

I had few men reject me lately and it has really done a number on my self-esteem. I don't really know how it works for other people, but I can never seem to get even close to who I want. [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Mar 17, 2013 - 47 answers

He keeps hanging out with me as friends but is in an open relationship.

I like a PhD student at university, who sat next to me a couple months ago in a cafe on campus and started talking to me. He is in an open relationship, so although he is free to be with girls, I told him I don't want to hook up with him. He said he still wants to be friends, but has been texting me everyday since. I enjoy his company, and want to be his friend but I don't know if this amount of communication is wrong for his 'girlfriend', and if he is interested in me. [more inside]
posted by lovisa91 on Mar 13, 2013 - 34 answers

Should I ask her when would be a good time to call her for a date?

I (30) met this woman (35) at a work-related meeting ten days ago. We were in a small group (2 men, 2 women), and chatted briefly. Among a few other things, she asked me if I was married and had children (no to both). She is divorced and told us (most of the interaction was with the group) that she was on her own, and had to work really hard to support herself and her two young children. She seems a very loving mother, in addition to an attractive and easygoing person. Before leaving she asked me (and the other guy) for our email addresses and told me she would send me a facebook friend request. This didn´t mean much in itself, as we might conceivably need to get in touch for work-related issues. Later that evening I see and accept her fb friend request, and we chatted for a few minutes. [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Mar 12, 2013 - 23 answers

A good man is hard to find

There are a lot of questions on here about early dating warning signs, but I'm curious to know what are some early dating positive signs that people have gathered in their relationships for picking out emotionally healthy partners. I'm particularly interested in men who fit this profile. Because I grew up in a dysfunctional family sometimes a good man seems like an elusive creature, and it's hard for me to even visualize how he would appear or come across at the beginning.
posted by timsneezed on Mar 12, 2013 - 56 answers

What's your online dating hit rate?

How often should I expect to not click with someone? How often should I expect to not hear from the person again? [more inside]
posted by mermily on Mar 9, 2013 - 12 answers

Why do I keep falling for men who seem to care for me when they don't?

This has been happening for a few years now, where I fall for somebody emotionally unavailable, or already in a relationship and they do not tell me until much later. It has happened every single time with men that show interest in me and it is very upsetting as it makes me feel worthless or only second best. I feel like going on a break from men, even though it would technically be a break from nothing. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2013 - 19 answers

What should I say?

I met and had a great conversation with a beautiful woman on public transit but I blanked when the time came to get her contact info. I'm about to facebook message her... How should I put this? Full explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by matt_od on Mar 9, 2013 - 36 answers

Is 30 too old to date online?

I'm 30 years old. I really want a long-term relationship that will lead to marriage. I've been on eHarmony for the past few months and am starting to get frustrated at the general lack of response from men my age. On those sites, I get a lot of people who check out my profile but don't respond. I initiated contact with more than 20 guys I found interesting, but only got a response back from one. And he suddenly stopped communicating halfway through our "guided communication" phase. Sure, he could have found someone else, or decided online dating wasn't for him, I totally understand. It's just disheartening when the only guy who responds closes me as a match. I tweak my profile on a regular basis and update my photos but nothing I do seems to bring more response from men. [more inside]
posted by starpoint on Mar 8, 2013 - 48 answers

How do I make this odd romantic getaway a success?

We met when I was there. We dated when I was there. Now he's coming here. And I'm freaking out (a shmear). [more inside]
posted by airguitar2 on Mar 7, 2013 - 8 answers

"Who's your daddy?" "Not you."

I am only approached by men who are much older than me. I approach men my age, and it doesn't go so well. How do I stop this? [more inside]
posted by koucha on Mar 6, 2013 - 30 answers

Compromise: draw a face on those very nice abs?

I'm a boy who wants to make out with other boys. Problem is, I'm bothered by the culture of some of the more popular online options (e.g. Grindr). What are my options? [more inside]
posted by Conspire on Mar 5, 2013 - 12 answers

"I'm sorry, but we can't keep dating because I am unclean and a slut."

I have an abnormal pap. It is probable that I have HPV. I am very young, I don't have a partner, and I would like one. How is one even supposed to date anymore? [more inside]
posted by dekathelon on Mar 4, 2013 - 88 answers

Taking time off from a relationship

My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. After a big fight this weekend, we've decided to take a week off from seeing each other. Has this strategy EVER improved a relationship? &How do I best manage anxiety this week? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2013 - 21 answers

I am in my 30s and out of options

I am a woman in my early 30s and feel like I am out of men to date. I haven't felt attracted or interested in a man in over a year (possibly longer). I work, try to go out and do online dating. Only men that are interested in me are men that are either physically unattractive, not intelligent or both. It seems like if I want a relationship I would need to pick from men in the "who repulses me less?" fashion. So I choose to stay single. [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Mar 3, 2013 - 51 answers

Is it 'wrong' to snuggle without sex?

Am I leading someone on if he sleeps in my bed but not with me? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Mar 2, 2013 - 44 answers

Acne scarring and online dating

It doesn't show up in pictures. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but don't want it to seem like I'm trying to hide something. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by mermily on Feb 27, 2013 - 25 answers

Talking: How does it work?

I've been seeing my boyfriend for about three months, and just about everything is great. We see each other almost every day and sleep at each other's houses so often we practically live together. We have everything in common, and I've never met anyone I click with that much. One thing we have in common that's not so great, though: we're both shy, and sometimes we don't know what to say to each other! How can we overcome this? And, while we're on the subject, what are some good conversation starters? More info below. [more inside]
posted by Gee, June! on Feb 27, 2013 - 39 answers

An 18-year-old girl who I'm interested in dating's parents want my info

An 18-year-old girl I met online who I'm interested in dating's parents (who, I should note, are still financially supporting her) want all sorts of my info before they'll let her meet me and I believe they want it regardless if she meets me here or if I meet her there. Her parents want, among other things: My address and addresses and phone numbers of various family members of mine; scans of pieces of my ID; to check if I have a criminal record. Is it wrong of me to want to withhold this info from them? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2013 - 96 answers

How/when/should I tell a potential new beau that I used to be obese?

I used to weigh 150 lbs more than I do now. My body looks like I used to weigh 150 lbs more than I do right now; when is the appropriate time to discuss this with someone I just started dating? Is it necessary to discuss? How do I bring it up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 26, 2013 - 27 answers

Why am I attracted to men who don't seem attracted to me?

Even when they are guys who I think are amazing, when they show that they're really into me, I'm not attracted to them as much. I still do find them attractive, but just not as much as I would if they weren't. Why do you think this is? I can't figure out the reason myself. Is this some sort of unconscious self-esteem problem (he likes me and everyone who likes me are weird) or what? It sucks because sometimes he's such an amazing guy but just because he's showing an interest in me, points drop a little, and I wish it wouldn't but I don't have control over it (as no one has complete control over their feelings).
posted by sedulous on Feb 25, 2013 - 26 answers

Sick of being single, unsure of where to start

21 year old college student with past relationship experience, but I can't get a date to save my life. I believe I know the problem(s) but I'm unsure how to get started in term of solving things. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 25, 2013 - 20 answers

We have a date -- now what?

I followed your overwhelming advice and gave this guy my number. It worked! He immediately texted me back and we have a date tonight. Trouble is I'm a bundle of nerves because he intimidates me. I need advice on how to keep my cool tonight. :) [more inside]
posted by timsneezed on Feb 23, 2013 - 45 answers

Should I just not talk about online dating with white people?

Every once in a while, I (a minority) have a conversation with a white person about online dating in which it becomes clear that they do not and cannot understand that being a visibly non-white person on a predominantly white dating site is often a very different experience than being a white person on the same site. These conversations usually leave me completely frustrated and upset, and the person I'm talking to usually thinks I'm just bitter and negative (which is then, of course, the reason for my bad experience, and if I just "had a more positive attitude", then I would be having the same great experience that they've had). Should I just avoid talking about this with white people entirely? [more inside]
posted by rhymeswithcheery on Feb 22, 2013 - 50 answers

Is he trying to soften the blow or is he telling the truth?

A guy I've been dating for 3 months seemed to be withdrawing for about two weeks (such as me having to initiate contact first, and not making plans to meet me, and not following through), although he never stopped showing interest. I asked him what's wrong and to tell me if he doesn't want to see me anymore so I can move on. He said he didn't lose interest, it's that he has been having a few personal problems lately and has been distant even with his friends. He says he doesn't expect me to wait. Is he just trying to soften the blow because he's not interested in me anymore or is he telling the truth? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 22, 2013 - 18 answers

like him but not attracted to him. what to do?

I met a guy through an online dating website who I like but am not attracted to. I'd like to meet with him again, but how do I manage this without leading him on? And is online dating always going to be like this? [more inside]
posted by starcrust on Feb 21, 2013 - 29 answers

Fatal Attraction, how to break free?

I’m Male in my late 20s; I need help figuring out what to do about my relationship, I’ve tried breaking up a few times, but every time I get to it something in my head stops me... What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 21, 2013 - 27 answers

Not-OK Cupid

I've slept with a lot of guys and only enjoyed it with like 10% of them. Are my standards too high, or too low, or what? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2013 - 21 answers

Online dating and rejection - is it uncool to ask 'why?'

Don't worry, I'm not about to ask anyone 'But whyyyyy don't you like meeeee??'. I totally get that someone can be not-into-me for the colour of my t-shirt if they want: no harm, no foul. But I would like to know how much follow-up is normal after a first date, and also if anyone has any idea how I could get this so wrong? [more inside]
posted by Salamander on Feb 17, 2013 - 39 answers

What Else To Improve Dating Prospects?

A year ago, I posted about whether I should have any plastic surgery done to improve my dating prospects as an "ethnic" gay man in a major US urban area. Six months ago, after a lot of introspection and a commitment to psychological counseling to help me build my self-esteem, I decided to pursue primary rhinoplasty. Here is what I've learned in the time since I last posted about how to improve my dating prospects: [more inside]
posted by cscott on Feb 14, 2013 - 59 answers

Long-distance relationship or debaucherous partying?

As a 22-year-old woman with zero real relationship experience, I'm turning to AskMe in this time of indecision. One of my best friends wants to date me, and I like him, but I also want to make out with boys I might like more. Does that make me a bad person? Should I forget about the other boys? Details inside, naturally. [more inside]
posted by jouir on Feb 12, 2013 - 33 answers

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