2378 posts tagged with dating.
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Healthy Expectations for New Dating Situation?

I am six months out of a 3.5 years serious relationship (and very traumatizing break up). I've been dating a new person for two weeks. The dates themselves are great and he shows many signs of wishing to slowly move forward with me. However, I am very anxious between dates. He doesn't text me much between dates and is self-admittedly not a "planner" (e.g. we will have a date but he doesn't confirm day-of; just texts that he is coming over 30 minutes before the agreed-upon time). I can't tell if the anxiety is from (1) normal new relationship feelings; (2) my gut telling me this guy is not into me enough; or (3) my own desperation to feel like I have the stability and constant contact of a LTR again. What are your stories of the first month or two of your own relationships? I have never dated quite like this (we met online) and I want to be more okay with the "dance" and ensuing miscommunications/awkwardness. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Sep 14, 2015 - 13 answers

Shy, inexperienced woman needs help getting things started with shy guy

I'm a woman in my mid-30s with very little dating or relationship experience. Several months ago I met a younger guy (early-mid 20s) and we've become gradually closer. We now exchange texts most days and have recently spent time alone together on a couple of occasions in frustratingly ambiguous contexts. (Is this a date? Search me.) I'm reasonably sure he's interested in me, and I'm positively sure I'm interested in him. But I need help moving things beyond this weird limbo stage. [more inside]
posted by SoLongLivesThis on Sep 13, 2015 - 19 answers

"I am poor, but not for long, ok?"

I am dating a young woman with whom I have shared several hours of stimulating conversation. I found her thoughtful and considerate, and apparently there is mutual interest in getting to know each other better. The problem is that if things keep progressing, soon I'll invite her to my place, and I am not proud of where I currently live. Is there anything I can say or do to avoid being negatively judged by my temporarily poor housing conditions? [more inside]
posted by samufer on Sep 10, 2015 - 44 answers

Should I begin a relationship with my ex-girlfriend in a new city?

The woman I dated for the last two years (with unwanted break-ups in between due to circumstances outside of our control [being in different locations]) might now be re-entering my life and my city. We're both considering getting back together, and I'm certain we will be happy for the near-future if we do, but I wonder if doing so will cause me to get stuck. Am I justified in thinking this way? What have your experiences been? [more inside]
posted by lalunamel on Sep 7, 2015 - 18 answers

I didn't expect to spend Sunday bawling on the couch

Did he ghost on me? Am I jumping to conclusions? How do I move forward? [more inside]
posted by topoisomerase on Sep 6, 2015 - 31 answers

Don't be a stranger

Recently I've gone on several dates where we got along really well online and talked for hours in person. However, they ended with a hug and silence afterward, which I'm disappointed about. How can I figure out if we both want to go past one-shot platonic meetings, and how do we get to where we want to go? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2015 - 14 answers

Unsure if I should continue seeing someone

Is it wise to romantically/emotionally invest by dating someone knowing that they are currently not fully settled or stable in their life situation? [more inside]
posted by sara479 on Sep 2, 2015 - 9 answers

How to respond to guy's negative comments about his kids/family?

So I recently met and started dating a guy (let's call him Chris) who makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Which is good! I could go on about it, but that's not really what the question's about, so...just be assured that we're having fun and he's been nothing but kind to me so far. But I have noticed, I guess enough times to notice, him not speaking positively of other people in his life. I don't know how to respond when he makes negative comments, especially if it has anything to do with his (young adult) kids, for various awkward reasons. [more inside]
posted by picardythird on Aug 31, 2015 - 24 answers

I Don't Like You That Way: Love, Sex and Dating On Four Wheels

What do you do about your fear of intimacy and your lack of potential sutiors when you're a virgin at 25 and universally held to have the sexuality of a potato? [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Aug 30, 2015 - 35 answers

How to meet men as an introverted, attractive, "successful" 20-30s woman

I'm an attractive, successful, and put-together woman in my late 20s, and find it impossible to meet men I'm interested in. I have zero social circle in my newish city, live and work with older people with families, and have had no luck online. I'm also not naturally outgoing so don't meet people at random places. Not desperate but just want to find a good person to share my life with. What's a girl to do? [more inside]
posted by ribboncake on Aug 30, 2015 - 34 answers

How do I date feminist-leaning women online?

I'm single (straight male, 32) and starting to date women online again. I tend to have much better relationships with feminist-leaning women than with women that believe in traditional gender roles because they match better with my personal feelings about gender. How do I represent this in either my online dating profile or messages without coming across as awkward? I tend to overthink these kind of things. [more inside]
posted by JZig on Aug 30, 2015 - 16 answers

Unemployed/transition phase - how to handle future dating issues?

How should I let someone know whom I'm potentially dating that I'm unemployed and going through a transition phase in life? Should I even be dating? Any advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 29, 2015 - 16 answers

The best way to structure a relationship hiatus?

I have a relationship that is going phenomenally, 6 months deep. We have the same values, we're excited to support what the other is doing, and we have compatible goals for our future.... but he never got a chance to date as a single person. How to proceed? [more inside]
posted by thelastpolarbear on Aug 29, 2015 - 39 answers

So...why are you single?

I am in mid 30s and not married with no children. I constantly get this question from random people I meet, co-workers, relatives -you get the picture (all married). It annoys me and quite literally ruins my day. What's the best way to answer it? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Aug 29, 2015 - 69 answers

Putting my best virtual foot forward

Seeking online dating advice! [more inside]
posted by sprezzy on Aug 26, 2015 - 8 answers

Should I give him another chance?

I met this guy on OKcupid who seemed really, really perfect for me on paper. We talked for a couple weeks before he suggested meeting in person. I was nervous - I didn't want to mess it up since we seemed SO compatible. But the date was... awkward. Very awkward. He was clearly nervous and we just couldn't hold out a conversation. Should I give him another chance? [more inside]
posted by Amy93 on Aug 23, 2015 - 62 answers

dating with a messy past

How do I date with a promiscuous/unhealthy past and lots of issues about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 22, 2015 - 25 answers

Is it OK to not want to "date", but still have an OKCupid profile up?

Is it OK to not want to "date", but still have an OKCupid profile up? How do I go about this? [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Aug 17, 2015 - 9 answers

Going on a date. He uses a wheelchair. Help me not be an idiot.

I have a date coming up with a man who uses a wheelchair. He is super funny and smart and super hot. I have never dated someone who uses a wheelchair. In fact, I've never even known someone who uses a wheelchair. Help me not screw it up! [more inside]
posted by dinnerdance on Aug 15, 2015 - 29 answers

Can you teach yourself to be more compassionate in relationships?

Need help in stopping a toxic behavioral pattern in post-divorce relationships. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Aug 14, 2015 - 7 answers

Disclosing my depression/medications in profile on a date site?

After a long break I'd like to try dating again. i'm recovering from depression and am on medication, which i've heard can be deal-breakers for some people. Should I say I'm on meds in my profile, or should I bring it up while texting/chatting or maybe on the first date? or is it none of their business until we get more intimate? please help me decide!
posted by Thanquol180 on Aug 14, 2015 - 34 answers

For me it's never "F*ck Yes"

Referring to the title of this article: F*ck Yes or No. I never feel so charmed by someone I meet that I am no-question into them. How do people like me create meaningful romantic relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2015 - 27 answers

Online dating, cutting to the chase

I'm a woman, 49, in NYC, doing the OK Cupid. I've done online dating before, but have been out of it for quite some time, and really don't think I'm up to date. Please advise. [more inside]
posted by gigondas on Aug 6, 2015 - 14 answers

A lifetime of reading subtext means I sometimes miss the main text.

DatingFilter: Been hanging out with this guy for a few weeks. Asked him out an Actual Date and he declined but it seems like he left the door open. And I'm not sure if my answer closed the door. I am terrible at this dating thing. [more inside]
posted by inmyhead on Aug 4, 2015 - 28 answers

Navigating the tricky waters of an ever-changing dating status tide.

Dear Mefites, this is my first question! I'm excited to hear from the community i've been reading since forever. Here's an issue I'm facing that's bothering me: someone i'm seeing has a some-what change of heart/mind towards me in terms of how he envisions our future/potential. I've been confused from the beginning as it started sexually quickly, then to possibly serious, to suddenly somewhat possibly just casual now. Grateful if any of you could advise me on what you observe his character/behavior/mindset to be, from the descriptions that I will best try to relate. Please excuse the extremely long post. [more inside]
posted by eustaciavye87 on Aug 3, 2015 - 17 answers

Freaking Out About Ending Up Alone

Just like the title says. In the aftermath of a relationship, I’m panicking about being resigned to singlehood. As you might expect, snowflakes ahead. [more inside]
posted by xenization on Aug 3, 2015 - 16 answers

Did I just ruin my chance with this guy I'm dating?

I've been talking to a guy I met online for about 6 weeks, been on about 4 dates. At the very beginning, I let him know that I wanted to take things slow and not jump into bed with him quickly and he seemed to understand and respect my decision. We still haven't hold hand or kiss. However, our communication has increased significantly. He would call me almost daily and talk to me for over an hour each time. We also text each other constantly. [more inside]
posted by missybitsy on Aug 2, 2015 - 22 answers

How to gauge interest and deal with rejection in early stages of dating?

After a pretty rough breakup in January, I'm starting to be open to the idea of dating again. However, I don't find myself romantically attracted to very many people, so when I do find someone I am interested in, I tend to get my hopes up. I started talking to a guy and feel like I am receiving mixed signals - how do I gauge interest and deal with the possibility of rejection after hoping this would work out? [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Aug 2, 2015 - 15 answers

I own a flat and haven't told the guy I am dating about it.

I haven't told him yet and feel like a liar. I haven't told him for a reason, but want to tell him now. How should I tell him and how much should I go into detail? [more inside]
posted by akita on Jul 30, 2015 - 34 answers

How to be sexy?

My 3-year relationship ended a couple months ago, and while I'm not at all ready for (or interested in) jumping into another relationship right now, I wouldn't mind having some fun, casual hookups. But after years of being in relationships, I'm accustomed to projecting a friendly-pal vibe; I'm not sure how to be alluring. Please coach me! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2015 - 18 answers

To woo or not to woo, and how to woo if I do?

I went on a date with an amazing woman, she told me she thinks I'm amazing but just isn't feeling the chemistry. Been there, done that, but this time I'd kind of like to *not* just give up. I know rom coms have lied to us all, but surely it's possible to try to court a woman without coming off as a creepster? [more inside]
posted by rkriger on Jul 22, 2015 - 72 answers

I'm invisible in real life, but do well in online dating [27/m]

In real life women don't flirt with me, smile at me in public, or glance at me when they walk past me. However, with online dating I do really well. What gives? I'm starting to suspect I'm just really photogenic and I'm a bit of a dog in real life.
posted by GiveUpNed on Jul 20, 2015 - 23 answers

Should I Just Go Straight to Crone Island?

How do you date while being a feminist? I was thinking about trying online dating again. Then I read the amazing emotional labor thread on the blue, which made me question that. Are there tips and tricks for finding a male partner who is willing to do emotional labor? [more inside]
posted by JustKeepSwimming on Jul 20, 2015 - 44 answers

Permission to judge this OKCupid profile! (31F in NYC)

Hey guys! I just re-joined OKCupid a month ago and haven't received many messages. It's nerve-wracking to post my profile here, but who knows: maybe you can help! [more inside]
posted by jessca84 on Jul 19, 2015 - 51 answers

I need to leave, right?

I have been seeing someone for 3-4 months. His future plans are to look for a job outside of a current city and move within the next 12 months or so. Am I wasting my time? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Jul 19, 2015 - 20 answers

Searching for answers regarding lack of success in romance

Why am I also so disappointed and unsuccessful when it comes to dating, romance, and relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 18, 2015 - 12 answers

Appropriately, Respectfully, Feminist-ically

Assume I'm not from this planet. What is the appropriate way, if even allowed, to approach a woman at a bar? [more inside]
posted by bonje on Jul 16, 2015 - 42 answers

Befriending the Ex

My girlfriend wants to reconnect with a former partner and would like to invite the ex to a Big Event taking place next year. I am not comfortable with this. What to do? [more inside]
posted by Gray Skies on Jul 16, 2015 - 24 answers

Can you Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind someone virtually?

Yeah, that question is a weird one, so I will try to sum it up; boy meets girl, girls sleeps with boy, boy is a stunning wild Ukrainian flower that does not take life seriously and sleeps around on a daily basis, girl gets deeply attached, boy does not. However, I have become addicted to masochistically googling his name so I can view his social networks' pages (mostly Instagram, but also his VKontakte page). It became a daily ritual that deeply interferes with the fact that I absolutely know I should forget all about him and move on, cause as some of you know, this is a cul-de-sac and it hurts. So, I was wondering (perhaps very naively) if there is some way, or even some kind of a paid service, that will make it practically impossible for me to do this. It will make it impossible to google him, OR will block his social status pages from me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 16, 2015 - 16 answers

OKLooptid

My OKCupid profile is an experience. Help me make it a good experience. [more inside]
posted by Parasite Unseen on Jul 13, 2015 - 17 answers

Dear MetaFilter,

Help. I am suffering from the most debilitating crush (on a guy) I have ever had. Interest is being returned; obviously not quite as strongly as I am feeling it inside. That's fine; the real problem is that my past relationships have been abnormally fast paced and for a variety of reasons this one is going to have to be of the sustained-effort variety, something I have no experience whatsoever with. How do I steadily build up this relationship and what is reasonable for me to expect from him (and him from me) as time passes? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 12, 2015 - 20 answers

Should I keep talking to this guy?

I'm having trouble discerning if this guy is worthy of my time or not as I feel like I'm into him. We've been texting each other for a couple of weeks and met up once in person. He's very funny and we seemed to have mutual values and clicked well through our convo. He texts me a lot everyday yet he never calls. He said he's not a fan of talking on the phone. [more inside]
posted by missybitsy on Jul 12, 2015 - 42 answers

A look of mild panic exit strategies

Inspired by this, I'd love some advice about how to exit* from unpleasant or unpromising dates. [more inside]
posted by mcduff on Jul 7, 2015 - 19 answers

Can I change my workaholic boyfriend?

Should I bother continuing to date a workaholic in his forties who barely has time for me, let alone for a hypothetical future family? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Jul 4, 2015 - 36 answers

How can I communicate about intimacy issues?

I've been actively dating and having intimate encounters, but it's hard for me to address my sexual limitations and lack of experience with new partners. How to deal? [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Jul 2, 2015 - 13 answers

How to meet guys while gay and trans

I am ftm trans and while I am not on hormones & have not had surgery, I still pass a decent amount of the time. Sometimes I get long, cruising looks from guys who I am sure are gay (on the street, in a mall). I have no idea how to move forward in these situations; porn is my entire frame of reference and I'm sure it's not that simple. How do guys meet guys in public? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on Jul 2, 2015 - 6 answers

Is it normal for someone to stop texting after a first date is set up?

This guy I met online has been texting me for the past few days and we sometimes would text back and forth for several hours but we haven't talked on the phone yet. Two days ago, we decided to meet up at the park but ended up cancelling it because of bad weather. We rescheduled the date to another day. Since then, I noticed him stop initiating convo with me and ignoring some of my texts unless I ask him a question. I'm confused as to whether or not he's still interested in me or if he's trying to take a break until the date? Has anyone been through this before? [more inside]
posted by missybitsy on Jul 1, 2015 - 16 answers

parents hated my boyfriend, but love my sister's boyfriend

My parents didn't accept my boyfriend for about six of the seven years that we've been dating due to his physical disability. Now my younger sister has a new boyfriend whom my parents wholly and happily accept, and as childish as this is, this is bringing up all sorts of unpleasant feelings. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2015 - 9 answers

Please assure me my Tinder is malfunctioning

I recently started using Tinder again after not using it for about nine months. In a week of use, I've only had one match - and that on the first day. Last year, not to brag, I would have had upwards of 50 by this time. My ego is mortally wounded. [more inside]
posted by pot suppeck on Jun 25, 2015 - 5 answers

First time woes...

Short version: I had sex for the first time with someone I thought I really liked, but it didn't quite go the way I expected it to and now I'm completely panicking about it. Long version inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2015 - 12 answers

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