2318 posts tagged with dating.
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How do I date feminist-leaning women online?

I'm single (straight male, 32) and starting to date women online again. I tend to have much better relationships with feminist-leaning women than with women that believe in traditional gender roles because they match better with my personal feelings about gender. How do I represent this in either my online dating profile or messages without coming across as awkward? I tend to overthink these kind of things. [more inside]
posted by JZig on Aug 30, 2015 - 16 answers

Unemployed/transition phase - how to handle future dating issues?

How should I let someone know whom I'm potentially dating that I'm unemployed and going through a transition phase in life? Should I even be dating? Any advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 29, 2015 - 16 answers

The best way to structure a relationship hiatus?

I have a relationship that is going phenomenally, 6 months deep. We have the same values, we're excited to support what the other is doing, and we have compatible goals for our future.... but he never got a chance to date as a single person. How to proceed? [more inside]
posted by thelastpolarbear on Aug 29, 2015 - 39 answers

So...why are you single?

I am in mid 30s and not married with no children. I constantly get this question from random people I meet, co-workers, relatives -you get the picture (all married). It annoys me and quite literally ruins my day. What's the best way to answer it? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Aug 29, 2015 - 69 answers

Putting my best virtual foot forward

Seeking online dating advice! [more inside]
posted by sprezzy on Aug 26, 2015 - 8 answers

Should I give him another chance?

I met this guy on OKcupid who seemed really, really perfect for me on paper. We talked for a couple weeks before he suggested meeting in person. I was nervous - I didn't want to mess it up since we seemed SO compatible. But the date was... awkward. Very awkward. He was clearly nervous and we just couldn't hold out a conversation. Should I give him another chance? [more inside]
posted by Amy93 on Aug 23, 2015 - 62 answers

dating with a messy past

How do I date with a promiscuous/unhealthy past and lots of issues about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 22, 2015 - 25 answers

Is it OK to not want to "date", but still have an OKCupid profile up?

Is it OK to not want to "date", but still have an OKCupid profile up? How do I go about this? [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Aug 17, 2015 - 9 answers

Going on a date. He uses a wheelchair. Help me not be an idiot.

I have a date coming up with a man who uses a wheelchair. He is super funny and smart and super hot. I have never dated someone who uses a wheelchair. In fact, I've never even known someone who uses a wheelchair. Help me not screw it up! [more inside]
posted by dinnerdance on Aug 15, 2015 - 29 answers

Can you teach yourself to be more compassionate in relationships?

Need help in stopping a toxic behavioral pattern in post-divorce relationships. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Aug 14, 2015 - 7 answers

Disclosing my depression/medications in profile on a date site?

After a long break I'd like to try dating again. i'm recovering from depression and am on medication, which i've heard can be deal-breakers for some people. Should I say I'm on meds in my profile, or should I bring it up while texting/chatting or maybe on the first date? or is it none of their business until we get more intimate? please help me decide!
posted by Thanquol180 on Aug 14, 2015 - 34 answers

For me it's never "F*ck Yes"

Referring to the title of this article: F*ck Yes or No. I never feel so charmed by someone I meet that I am no-question into them. How do people like me create meaningful romantic relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2015 - 27 answers

Online dating, cutting to the chase

I'm a woman, 49, in NYC, doing the OK Cupid. I've done online dating before, but have been out of it for quite some time, and really don't think I'm up to date. Please advise. [more inside]
posted by gigondas on Aug 6, 2015 - 14 answers

A lifetime of reading subtext means I sometimes miss the main text.

DatingFilter: Been hanging out with this guy for a few weeks. Asked him out an Actual Date and he declined but it seems like he left the door open. And I'm not sure if my answer closed the door. I am terrible at this dating thing. [more inside]
posted by inmyhead on Aug 4, 2015 - 28 answers

Navigating the tricky waters of an ever-changing dating status tide.

Dear Mefites, this is my first question! I'm excited to hear from the community i've been reading since forever. Here's an issue I'm facing that's bothering me: someone i'm seeing has a some-what change of heart/mind towards me in terms of how he envisions our future/potential. I've been confused from the beginning as it started sexually quickly, then to possibly serious, to suddenly somewhat possibly just casual now. Grateful if any of you could advise me on what you observe his character/behavior/mindset to be, from the descriptions that I will best try to relate. Please excuse the extremely long post. [more inside]
posted by eustaciavye87 on Aug 3, 2015 - 17 answers

Freaking Out About Ending Up Alone

Just like the title says. In the aftermath of a relationship, I’m panicking about being resigned to singlehood. As you might expect, snowflakes ahead. [more inside]
posted by xenization on Aug 3, 2015 - 16 answers

Did I just ruin my chance with this guy I'm dating?

I've been talking to a guy I met online for about 6 weeks, been on about 4 dates. At the very beginning, I let him know that I wanted to take things slow and not jump into bed with him quickly and he seemed to understand and respect my decision. We still haven't hold hand or kiss. However, our communication has increased significantly. He would call me almost daily and talk to me for over an hour each time. We also text each other constantly. [more inside]
posted by missybitsy on Aug 2, 2015 - 22 answers

How to gauge interest and deal with rejection in early stages of dating?

After a pretty rough breakup in January, I'm starting to be open to the idea of dating again. However, I don't find myself romantically attracted to very many people, so when I do find someone I am interested in, I tend to get my hopes up. I started talking to a guy and feel like I am receiving mixed signals - how do I gauge interest and deal with the possibility of rejection after hoping this would work out? [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Aug 2, 2015 - 15 answers

I own a flat and haven't told the guy I am dating about it.

I haven't told him yet and feel like a liar. I haven't told him for a reason, but want to tell him now. How should I tell him and how much should I go into detail? [more inside]
posted by akita on Jul 30, 2015 - 34 answers

How to be sexy?

My 3-year relationship ended a couple months ago, and while I'm not at all ready for (or interested in) jumping into another relationship right now, I wouldn't mind having some fun, casual hookups. But after years of being in relationships, I'm accustomed to projecting a friendly-pal vibe; I'm not sure how to be alluring. Please coach me! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2015 - 18 answers

To woo or not to woo, and how to woo if I do?

I went on a date with an amazing woman, she told me she thinks I'm amazing but just isn't feeling the chemistry. Been there, done that, but this time I'd kind of like to *not* just give up. I know rom coms have lied to us all, but surely it's possible to try to court a woman without coming off as a creepster? [more inside]
posted by rkriger on Jul 22, 2015 - 72 answers

I'm invisible in real life, but do well in online dating [27/m]

In real life women don't flirt with me, smile at me in public, or glance at me when they walk past me. However, with online dating I do really well. What gives? I'm starting to suspect I'm just really photogenic and I'm a bit of a dog in real life.
posted by GiveUpNed on Jul 20, 2015 - 23 answers

Should I Just Go Straight to Crone Island?

How do you date while being a feminist? I was thinking about trying online dating again. Then I read the amazing emotional labor thread on the blue, which made me question that. Are there tips and tricks for finding a male partner who is willing to do emotional labor? [more inside]
posted by JustKeepSwimming on Jul 20, 2015 - 44 answers

Permission to judge this OKCupid profile! (31F in NYC)

Hey guys! I just re-joined OKCupid a month ago and haven't received many messages. It's nerve-wracking to post my profile here, but who knows: maybe you can help! [more inside]
posted by jessca84 on Jul 19, 2015 - 51 answers

I need to leave, right?

I have been seeing someone for 3-4 months. His future plans are to look for a job outside of a current city and move within the next 12 months or so. Am I wasting my time? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Jul 19, 2015 - 20 answers

Searching for answers regarding lack of success in romance

Why am I also so disappointed and unsuccessful when it comes to dating, romance, and relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 18, 2015 - 12 answers

Appropriately, Respectfully, Feminist-ically

Assume I'm not from this planet. What is the appropriate way, if even allowed, to approach a woman at a bar? [more inside]
posted by bonje on Jul 16, 2015 - 42 answers

Befriending the Ex

My girlfriend wants to reconnect with a former partner and would like to invite the ex to a Big Event taking place next year. I am not comfortable with this. What to do? [more inside]
posted by Gray Skies on Jul 16, 2015 - 24 answers

Can you Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind someone virtually?

Yeah, that question is a weird one, so I will try to sum it up; boy meets girl, girls sleeps with boy, boy is a stunning wild Ukrainian flower that does not take life seriously and sleeps around on a daily basis, girl gets deeply attached, boy does not. However, I have become addicted to masochistically googling his name so I can view his social networks' pages (mostly Instagram, but also his VKontakte page). It became a daily ritual that deeply interferes with the fact that I absolutely know I should forget all about him and move on, cause as some of you know, this is a cul-de-sac and it hurts. So, I was wondering (perhaps very naively) if there is some way, or even some kind of a paid service, that will make it practically impossible for me to do this. It will make it impossible to google him, OR will block his social status pages from me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 16, 2015 - 16 answers

OKLooptid

My OKCupid profile is an experience. Help me make it a good experience. [more inside]
posted by Parasite Unseen on Jul 13, 2015 - 17 answers

Dear MetaFilter,

Help. I am suffering from the most debilitating crush (on a guy) I have ever had. Interest is being returned; obviously not quite as strongly as I am feeling it inside. That's fine; the real problem is that my past relationships have been abnormally fast paced and for a variety of reasons this one is going to have to be of the sustained-effort variety, something I have no experience whatsoever with. How do I steadily build up this relationship and what is reasonable for me to expect from him (and him from me) as time passes? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 12, 2015 - 20 answers

Should I keep talking to this guy?

I'm having trouble discerning if this guy is worthy of my time or not as I feel like I'm into him. We've been texting each other for a couple of weeks and met up once in person. He's very funny and we seemed to have mutual values and clicked well through our convo. He texts me a lot everyday yet he never calls. He said he's not a fan of talking on the phone. [more inside]
posted by missybitsy on Jul 12, 2015 - 42 answers

A look of mild panic exit strategies

Inspired by this, I'd love some advice about how to exit* from unpleasant or unpromising dates. [more inside]
posted by mcduff on Jul 7, 2015 - 19 answers

Can I change my workaholic boyfriend?

Should I bother continuing to date a workaholic in his forties who barely has time for me, let alone for a hypothetical future family? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Jul 4, 2015 - 36 answers

How can I communicate about intimacy issues?

I've been actively dating and having intimate encounters, but it's hard for me to address my sexual limitations and lack of experience with new partners. How to deal? [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Jul 2, 2015 - 13 answers

How to meet guys while gay and trans

I am ftm trans and while I am not on hormones & have not had surgery, I still pass a decent amount of the time. Sometimes I get long, cruising looks from guys who I am sure are gay (on the street, in a mall). I have no idea how to move forward in these situations; porn is my entire frame of reference and I'm sure it's not that simple. How do guys meet guys in public? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on Jul 2, 2015 - 6 answers

Is it normal for someone to stop texting after a first date is set up?

This guy I met online has been texting me for the past few days and we sometimes would text back and forth for several hours but we haven't talked on the phone yet. Two days ago, we decided to meet up at the park but ended up cancelling it because of bad weather. We rescheduled the date to another day. Since then, I noticed him stop initiating convo with me and ignoring some of my texts unless I ask him a question. I'm confused as to whether or not he's still interested in me or if he's trying to take a break until the date? Has anyone been through this before? [more inside]
posted by missybitsy on Jul 1, 2015 - 16 answers

parents hated my boyfriend, but love my sister's boyfriend

My parents didn't accept my boyfriend for about six of the seven years that we've been dating due to his physical disability. Now my younger sister has a new boyfriend whom my parents wholly and happily accept, and as childish as this is, this is bringing up all sorts of unpleasant feelings. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2015 - 9 answers

Please assure me my Tinder is malfunctioning

I recently started using Tinder again after not using it for about nine months. In a week of use, I've only had one match - and that on the first day. Last year, not to brag, I would have had upwards of 50 by this time. My ego is mortally wounded. [more inside]
posted by pot suppeck on Jun 25, 2015 - 5 answers

First time woes...

Short version: I had sex for the first time with someone I thought I really liked, but it didn't quite go the way I expected it to and now I'm completely panicking about it. Long version inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2015 - 12 answers

How to keep the one your with

I'm curious to know your stories, or what it is that keeps you happy in the relationship you are in? Also is it possible to grow in love with a person when you are in a happy relationship? Before I confused love with infatuation and I don't want to go through that again! [more inside]
posted by red47Apple on Jun 20, 2015 - 11 answers

Go through with this first date or not even bother...?

While dating online I am planning on meeting a man tomorrow for a first date. He proposes his city. At the same time I am trying actively to progress in making better choices in men, being assertive, trusting my gut, realistically doubting myself, and am afraid of being too negative ("cutting off my head because of a toothache", or an English equivalent). [more inside]
posted by Dutchmeisje on Jun 20, 2015 - 17 answers

Breakup in Same Social Circle

My girlfriend (26) broke up with me (33) out of the blue last week. To add to this, we share the same tight social circle that meets multiple times per week for different outings. I have been keeping my distance from the group so far. While I don't want to lose touch with this circle of friends, I also feel that seeing her would add to my pain and discomfort. Has anyone been in a similar situation and how did you handle it?
posted by QuietType on Jun 20, 2015 - 11 answers

How much of an explanation do I owe this guy after one date?

I went out with a guy from OKCupid who seemed awkward but raised no huge red flags. Less than a week later, he got weird and I'm no longer interested. Do I need to tell him this? [more inside]
posted by intheigloo on Jun 20, 2015 - 21 answers

Why did he not respond after our first date and what should I do?

I went on a first date with a guy I met on a dating website, we got on really well and I thought everything was great. I haven't heard from him since and now I am struggling to stop thinking about him. Any help on what I should do? [more inside]
posted by artystar on Jun 17, 2015 - 32 answers

Dating confusion

Please help me sort out a new-ish dating situation. [more inside]
posted by young sister beacon on Jun 16, 2015 - 31 answers

Can People Change?

I'm with a guy who's not romantic at all and I can't stand it. He says he can change, but is that even possible? [more inside]
posted by lhude sing cuccu on Jun 15, 2015 - 21 answers

How do I find out my boyfriend's secret desires?

I'm afraid of boring my boyfriend in bed. He's a decade older and has had quite a few relationships in his past. I can't imagine he's as vanilla as he professes to be--I'm willing to do ANYTHING, and he wants missionary every time. Does he view me as too innocent for anything else? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Jun 15, 2015 - 29 answers

Relationship Anxiety

I am dating someone in my social circle who I've know for around 8 months. We've been dating for the last 2 months. I think she's great...smart, funny, attractive. We get along well and there is lots of chemistry. I'm happy that I've been able to find someone. Being in a relationship has brought some of my insecurities to the surface. Specifically, there's a couple areas where I could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by QuietType on Jun 10, 2015 - 18 answers

Should I go on a second date with a guy I'm not physically attracted to?

I just went on a first date with a guy I met online. He's funny, sweet, and nice. He paid for my drink and did not make me feel uncomfortable at all. We talked for about 2 hours and we seemed to have some common interests. I could sense that he's into me because at the end of the date, he asked me if he could see me again soon. I told him I'd have to see when I can because I have a busy week ahead. [more inside]
posted by missybitsy on Jun 7, 2015 - 26 answers

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