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At what point do you tell your parents you have a SO?

I've been dating my boyfriend for a little less than 5 months. We have radically different approaches to how much we tell our respective parents (for what it's work, we're both in our late twenties). I talk to my parents a few times a week and let them know a few weeks in that I was dating someone. He hasn't let them know he's dating someone yet. At what point do folks generally start telling parents they're seeing someone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2013 - 48 answers

Asking someone behind a food service register out for coffee?

There is this woman/lady/girl/gal who's often behind the register at a Chipotle I'm at 2-3 times per week after work. [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Oct 2, 2013 - 40 answers

How to Express a Dating Deal Breaker Respectfully

Later tonight I will be going on a second date with a new guy that seems like a promising fit. One thing he brought up during the first date is that he's about to go to Amsterdam for a few days and that while there he's looking forward to relaxing and smoking pot. Pot use is a deal breaker for me, but I want to make sure I have all the facts before I let him know that. How do I collect that info respectfully, and then let him know that pot's a deal breaker for me without sounding really weird? [more inside]
posted by These Birds of a Feather on Sep 29, 2013 - 32 answers

Seeing an old ex stirred up more feelings than expected

So more than 4 years after the breakup and we only dated 6 months. But I see her car in the parking lot at the grocery store I go to. I've never seen her there before. I keep looking and see that it's definitely her in the car. We didn't talk. I don't think she saw me. I was leaving as she was pulling in. But my heart definitely raced and all sorts of emotions came flooding back. I was disappointed that it affected me as much as it did. Does this need fixing? How would I fix this? [more inside]
posted by yeahyeahyeah on Sep 26, 2013 - 7 answers

That went well, right?

Had a great first date with a woman who seems pretty busy. She cancelled our second date, asked for a rain check, and I haven't heard from her since. What's the etiquette here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 21 answers

Boundaries: I need them.

How do I set up the right boundaries regarding intimacy when dating new people. Difficulty level: history of abuse, disassociation and social anxiety! (nsfw) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 9 answers

Am I the type that always wants what I don't have?

I'm dating someone fantastic, but I feel nothing. [more inside]
posted by facehugger on Sep 23, 2013 - 16 answers

Haaaaave you met Ted?

I don't know how to meet women. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 23, 2013 - 21 answers

What's a good town for a single man in his late 30s...

What's a non-US city that might be especially good for a 38-year old divorced straight male looking to meet a woman and settle down? Much more specific details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2013 - 37 answers

origin of OkCupid "How is this Site Treating You?" question

Where does "How's your luck on the site?" come from? [more inside]
posted by bearette on Sep 22, 2013 - 7 answers

Where are all the ready-to-settle-down men in London?

You are male, single, employed, 20/30-ish, looking to settle down and start a family with a similar lady within the next three years or so. Where in London do you go to find potential dates? (Asking for a friend.)
posted by fix on Sep 21, 2013 - 10 answers

Should I reach out to him?

I have been seeing a great guy non-exclusively for about three months (yep, the dreaded three month mark). We're both 27. Everything had been going very well up until this past weekend, when I met up with him and his friends at a concert. I was supposed to attend the concert with my best friend but we had a huge falling out the night before and I very inappropriately chose to drink my feelings. While I didn't do anything awful, I felt like my behavior was unflattering. He dropped me off after the show and the next day, I texted him an apology "for being annoying" and said I had a good time with hregardless and have a good day. 8 hours later, he responded asking if he made me uncomfortable. I said no, not at all, but I was self conscious that I had drank more than I intended. Two days later he responded "it's fine." I haven't heard from him otherwise. Communication up to this point had been good, and almost always initiated by him. I feel like I shot myself in the foot, but it also seems silly to throw away something good over something so minor. Is his silence indication that he's through? Should I give it more time to see if he comes around. or should I try reaching out again? [more inside]
posted by starsatnight on Sep 19, 2013 - 47 answers

How do I let a coworker know I'm unequivocally interested in him?

With the caveat that I know 'shitting where I eat' is a bad idea, I'd like to let a coworker know I'm interested in him. Asking him out isn't an option too, because I'm pretty shy and would probably blush and flub anything that's supposed to be casual. How do I do this? We have zero interaction. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 19, 2013 - 30 answers

Dating filter: I like this guy - but he only talks about himself

I'm interested in dating and otherwise be-friend a guy. We have common interests and he seems to be "nice" and has a high level of intelligence. That said - Every conversation revolves around him. I love to ask people questions and let them "talk freely about their life or whatever"... but at some point you want to have a two-sided conversation. How can I politely make this point without coming across in the wrong way? This is not someone I have known longer then a couple dates.
posted by audio on Sep 18, 2013 - 25 answers

How to deal with probably unwarranted jealousy

Been dating my SO for about 6 months. Recently I've noticed them contacting an old friend more often. I'm feeling jealous, and kind of think I'm crazy for feeling that way, but I can't shake it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2013 - 11 answers

Asking someone out after job rejection

So I didn't get the job, sadly, but I'm interested in asking out one of the people who interviewed me (not the hiring manager). I'm female, he's male, we're both in our early 30s. Would that be weird? It's a fairly casual organization, but I may be interested in applying for another job there in the future...
posted by three_red_balloons on Sep 17, 2013 - 28 answers

What and when are more?

How long do you give yourself and your non-boyfriend to make up your minds? [more inside]
posted by drme on Sep 17, 2013 - 11 answers

The ethics/practicalities of an older woman dating a younger male virgin

[This post contains somewhat graphic descriptions of our intimate experiences and sexual topics generally, so if you are sensitive or perhaps at work it is good to know that.] I am in my early 30s and my new boyfriend is in his mid 20s. I am the first woman he has ever dated, the third he has ever kissed and if we progress in the relationship I will be the first he has ever had sex with. He is a phenomenal human being and I can hardly believe how lucky I am to know him let alone get the chance to have a relationship with him. I am worried about a few things, however and want to weigh them carefully before proceeding any further. [more inside]
posted by telomere on Sep 16, 2013 - 36 answers

A careless Facebook friend request has caused some larger problems

Hey guys, help me resolve this awkward situation that started with a Facebook friend request and has now blown up out of proportion. [more inside]
posted by ashkenazy on Sep 16, 2013 - 39 answers

Need sex advice: Possible to learn to enjoy dominance/submission?

New to MeFi, so sorry if this is an odd post... I just started dating a guy - let's call him Michael - who has noted several times that he likes to be a little aggressive in the sack (and although we have not yet had sex, this became clear when we made out/fooled around recently... he was pretty man-handly/dominating, did a little dirty talking, etc.). I have next to no experience in even very mild dominance/submission stuff and honestly have never had any interest in it. I can be a good sport and do a little dirty-talking if it's going to make someone's day, but it has always felt too contrived for me to enjoy it for my own sake. And I've never tried anything beyond that. That said, I really like Michael, am very sexually attracted to him, would hate to end things with him prematurely because of an unexplored difference in our sexual styles, and, frankly, couldn't help but feel a little lame/boring/conservative if I put an end to it for that reason. So, my question: as someone who isn't naturally inclined to be interested in dominance/submission, is there a chance I could learn to like it, or is it pretty much something you like or don't? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 14, 2013 - 29 answers

The best dating services

I'd like your opinions and personal experiences with on-line dating services for long-term monogamous relationships. I was very dissatisfied with match.com because I got a snotty customer service dude who used a tone with me because I didn't know they renewed automatically each month. Success stories welcome, too. I'm over forty. [more inside]
posted by intrepid_simpleton on Sep 9, 2013 - 23 answers

Should this just be a nice memory?

A few weeks ago, my friend and I confessed our mutual feelings. Then we went our separate ways, and there were loose ends. How can I be clear about my intentions? Should I be? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2013 - 14 answers

Need guy advice

How to put the moves on a sensible, reserved guy, who may not have any romantic interest in me, and is leaving the country in two weeks? [more inside]
posted by galenka on Sep 7, 2013 - 27 answers

Should I asked this guy if he's still interested?

I proposed a date to a guy I'm seeing casually, and he turned it down without offering another solution. I'm starting to feel that I'm putting in more effort than I should at this point. Should I ask him if he still wants to date in general? [more inside]
posted by thick woolen socks on Sep 5, 2013 - 26 answers

Shy men, give me some insight

I'm trying to get to know a shy guy. How to proceed? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Sep 5, 2013 - 29 answers

One-off online personal ads?

Are there any other thriving sites out there, like craiglist, where you can post one-off personal ads? Dating, casual encounters, whatever--I'm looking for sites that *don't* have a single static profile (e.g. match, okcupid), but instead you post something, and it ages over time, and then you can post something else after a while.
posted by zeek321 on Sep 4, 2013 - 1 answer

How to get out of this?

For the last 6 months, I have been involved in and online "thing". I think it's time to cut this off. Most effective way? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Sep 3, 2013 - 14 answers

hurting over past relationship now more than when the break up happened

I feel like I'm going backwards with the break up over my past relationship which occured over six months ago. I was fine for months afterwards and, in the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling increasingly guilty over my behaviour toward my depressed ex and it hurts to think about memories together and him in general much more than it used to. Is it normal, could it be because our one year anniversary would have been in a few days? Why is it happening, when I feel like I care more about my current bf than I did him? Am I betraying him? What should I do? [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Sep 3, 2013 - 5 answers

How to ask out a coworker?

How to/Should I ask my coworker, who may not even know my name, out on a date? [more inside]
posted by Robocat on Aug 31, 2013 - 22 answers

He's the one who made things awkward, so why do I feel like a jerk?

A co-worker/friend drunkenly confessed romantic feelings; I reciprocated; now he’s acting cold to me. Do I try to clear the air? Or let it go? [more inside]
posted by gimleteye on Aug 30, 2013 - 21 answers

I'm dating-challenged and dropped the ball. How I do pick it back up?

Over last weekend I spent a whole bunch of time with a lovely woman--dinners, picnics, walks, wine under the stars etc. These weren't explicitly dates, but it all seemed pretty romantic. At the end of the evening on Saturday and Sunday we had these awkward pauses when my insecurities and my desire to--give a goodnight kiss? Express my attraction? Or something--were warring. I don't know what she was thinking but it was awkward on both sides. Now I won't see her for a month. Do I email her and explicitly say that I'm interested? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 26, 2013 - 25 answers

Metal case for dental floss?

Looking for a vendor to make me a metal case for a pack of floss as a gag gift. Importantly, it is for a new beau. Thanks in advance! [more inside]
posted by pearl228 on Aug 26, 2013 - 8 answers

Should I stay... Or really, how should I go?

How do I navigate a breakup with this woman who I respect and love, in a way that might encourage her to get better and find some happiness? Or should I even break up with her, given the potential good things that might come along if she did process through some of her stuff? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 25, 2013 - 32 answers

Are my expectations out of whack? Is this guy a jerk?

I've been very casually involved with a guy for the past couple of weeks. I am not a subscriber to the "He's Just Not That Into You" theory for a variety of reasons, but my patience is running thin and I could use a little outside perspective. How do you know if a genuinely busy dude is blowing you off? How do I bring this up if/when I see him this weekend? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 23, 2013 - 40 answers

Too much, too soon?

After a painful breakup, I'm slowwwwly trying to ease back into the dating world. I met a guy online last week...he's a few years older than me, never married, no kids but has been in several long-term relationships. We just started talking on the phone 3 days ago. Since then he's called me every night, and we have plans to meet this weekend. My issue is this: he's currently going through a trying situation; one of his parents in very sick and the doctors have said it's best for the rest of the family to fly in. Things are looking grim. He texts me updates on the situation; he's apologized for laying this on me since we haven't met yet but says he likes talking to me. I'm not sure how I feel about this....I feel very bad for him but the fact is, we don't know each other. I'm not sure how to respond other than, "hope things turn out ok." Considering his parent might die, I feel terrible but I also feel this is too heavy for "us" to be dealing with since there is no "us"....should I tell him maybe we should postpone meeting until his crisis has passed? I've gently suggested he should stick with his family/friends during this time and replied that he will but that he hopes we can still communicate. What to do?
posted by kribensa on Aug 22, 2013 - 24 answers

Can't live like this...

If social media and crowdsourcing is good for anything, I figure it's to find some sort of answer to questions like these. Here goes nothing... I'm a 23 year old with cerebral palsy and while I'm very much a special snowflake in that I've been gifted with normal function as far as most of my life is concerned-most importantly in terms of intellect- there's one part of my CP that's made my life smaller and more miserable than any wheelchair could. It's affected my relationships with and opportunities for friends, dates and jobs, and for a richer life in general. Help me find a way out. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Aug 21, 2013 - 24 answers

So I became a stalker

My ex dumped and me coldly and cruelly one day out of the blue. We lived together and talked about marriage and kids. It was my most serious relationship. One day he came from work and told me to move out in 24 hours and it's over. Then he cut me off like I never existed. This was 1.5 years ago. I still can't let go of my feelings of anger and resentment. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 21, 2013 - 48 answers

A friendly rejection

What's the friendliest way to decline future dates from someone you've been out with a few times but just aren't that into? [more inside]
posted by greta simone on Aug 18, 2013 - 14 answers

Dating, touching, "sparks", and so on... what should I be looking for?

I'm an late-20s-guy finally starting to date for the first time. Overall, I'm finding the process fun, but as someone completely new to relationships and how they form - and someone who's self-analytical to the point of over-analyzing - I feel a little uncertain as to what's expected of me, and how I should behave on the first few dates. I've found a few useful resources on the Internet, but there's a lot of creepy advice out there, and I'd like to get some feedback from real people. So: when should I expect to feel a "spark"? Do you start touching your date in small ways before you feel a connection, or do you really only do that if you feel something? And what are the expectations surrounding that first kiss? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 17, 2013 - 23 answers

A Gentle Man, Not a Girly Man

I'm a bisexual man looking to date bisexual and gay men. In the "what I'm looking for" section of my dating profile, I'm trying to describe the sort of man I'm attracted to, and I need some help. [more inside]
posted by user c on Aug 15, 2013 - 23 answers

What distinguishes a friendship from a romance?

Somebody I've known for a year rather suddenly told me that she "felt attracted" to me. We've agreed to have dinner when she gets back into town. New as I am to dating, I'm confused as to how I should proceed. [more inside]
posted by d. z. wang on Aug 13, 2013 - 20 answers

When does a casual hookup turn into dating? When does it not?

I have been seeing this guy since December about once or twice a month, and am possibly on the verge of having feelings. Trying to figure out how to reasonably navigate this. Tell me about your experiences? [more inside]
posted by anonymoosemoosemoose on Aug 13, 2013 - 9 answers

How to keep moving forward from abusive relationship

I asked these questions earlier and you were all so helpful. I am now two and a half months out of my abusive relationship. I want to continue to move forward and need your ideas and encouragement. [more inside]
posted by Rainflower on Aug 13, 2013 - 10 answers

Game vs Me

Looking for perspectives/personal stories on dating gamers. I am early 20s, he late 20s. He is smart, level headed and fun to be around. We are both employed and having other hobbies/interests to pursue outside of work and our casual dating relationship. We enjoy each other company and sex is great. There are other minor issues that we do need to work on but at the moment things are going well. This is my first time dating a gamer. He's not an addict so I am not addressing this as a red flag. I find it kinda amusing, a part of him that I don't want to change, but yep, the issue of Game Vs Me/Us time does arise.
posted by azalea on Aug 13, 2013 - 21 answers

It didn't succeed...try, try again?

So one relationship didn't work out. Is it horribly rude to resume communicating with someone else who may know or be a friend with the other person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2013 - 9 answers

Is this limerence? Because it sucks.

Whenever I get into a romantic/sexual relationship I always start feeling obsessive. I am totally sick of it because when it kicks in, it completely obscures what's really going on in the relationship, whether good or bad. [more inside]
posted by summer sock on Aug 10, 2013 - 9 answers

Dating someone separated.

I found out that my boyfriend is technically not divorced. This (as you might imagine) has been a major source of stress for me - what it comes down to is that he and his ex are staying married for insurance reasons, but will file by the new year. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2013 - 70 answers

Is it really such a bad idea for me to date this guy?

I googled this guy and found some troublesome things. How troubled should I really be? [more inside]
posted by anonymousme on Aug 7, 2013 - 67 answers

How to deal with Indian parents when dating a Caucasian girl?

I'm Indian and I have been dating a white girl for about 2.5 months. How do I deal with my parents who only believe in marrying someone who is also Indian? I've not told them about the girl I'm dating because I do not want to deal with bad talk when the relatives and family involved. [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Aug 5, 2013 - 36 answers

dying alone with cats/fear of intimacy

I need to get over my fear of intimacy. I need help recognizing self-sabotaging behavior, when dealing with the opposite sex and otherwise, that is preventing me from having a grown-up healthy heterosexual relationship. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Aug 4, 2013 - 18 answers

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