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Long Term relationship with a girl that has issues?

Is there any chance that a relationship with a girl with issues from her past could work long term? have there ever been any that have been successful? [more inside]
posted by red47Apple on Nov 5, 2013 - 53 answers

If I invite someone to come over to my apartment on a fourth date...

If I invite someone to come over to my apartment on a fourth date, how is that interpreted? I am dating a new guy who I like. I haven't kissed him yet. I think he is pretty interested because he is in touch a lot and he always schedules the next date before the end of the last one. He is pretty outgoing and I am pretty reserved. He seems pretty respectful and kind of good at reading signals. He asked what I wanted to do for our fourth date because he'd planned the previous ones. I wanted to invite him over to cook something together, etc. Basically I want to make out with him but don't want to sleep with him at this point. If I invite him over to my apartment will that be read as, "I want to sleep with you"? I'm new at this.
posted by mermily on Nov 5, 2013 - 29 answers

How do I break up with someone who has anxiety?

I've been casually dating a man for several months. I truly like him, but it's become pretty clear to me that our relationship styles are out of synch. How do I end things without seeming cliche? [more inside]
posted by SarahBellum on Nov 3, 2013 - 12 answers

Should I tell my boyfriend about my ex who is dying?

My boyfriend (lets call him Mike) does not know about my ex boyfriend's existence (Lee). I found out his brother died a couple of months ago, and now he has the same disease and may or may not survive as well. I am quite upset about this, should I tell Mike about him or just keep it to myself? [more inside]
posted by lovisa91 on Oct 29, 2013 - 30 answers

Deciding if to turn a "breakup" into a friendship

Someone who I bonded with decided we had no spark, but wants to be friends. I am having trouble dealing with being rejected and my lowered self-esteem from the rejection but I feel like he is such a special person that I want to keep him as a friend. We had an intense online relationship for three months and dated for less than 2 weeks. Reading all these posts on MetaFilter has really helped me deal better with my breakup, but I still feel a inner turmoil about how I should handle my own situation. I don't feel that I trust my judgment so...here I am. Help on the matter is appreciated or just some advice or words would help me get through this. [more inside]
posted by LadyAerin on Oct 26, 2013 - 45 answers

I'm not interested in dating or being your friend. Thanks and goodbye.

How do I tell somebody I recently met that I'm not interested romantically or even as a friend? The problem is that I'm not exactly sure whether she is looking for just a friend or something more? [more inside]
posted by Che boludo! on Oct 22, 2013 - 24 answers

well, hell

I have been dating a guy for a couple of months. He told me recently that he's got a genetic mutation that makes it much more likely that he'll get cancer, and that is making me really sad. [more inside]
posted by swamp rocket on Oct 22, 2013 - 22 answers

Dating Woes

My partner has an abundance of free time. I do not. This is a constant source of conflict for us. I thought I had a practical solution, but it's not working. Can you help me figure this out? [more inside]
posted by chara on Oct 21, 2013 - 48 answers

Past abuse and trying pegging, BDSM with the new boyfriend

The new boyfriend would like me to be more switch-y (and peg him, too) and I'd like to be able to provide that to him but past abuse makes me very adverse to causing people pain even if I know they'd enjoy it and also puts me off being the penetrative partner. How do I enjoy being the dominant/penetrative partner? I love it when the BF dominates me and causes me pain (a not-insane amount and he's always very respectful of my boundaries and comfort) so how can I become more comfortable reciprocating pain to him and how can I become comfortable with being the penetrative partner? [more inside]
posted by code_n_cakes on Oct 20, 2013 - 9 answers

give me perspective on the date I just went on.

I went out with the kind of guy I thought I'd never meet but always wanted to. I really like him but some self-sabotaging behavior may have screwed this up for me. Help me do damage control and tell me what I need to ask myself to know if I really like him or just the idea of him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 15, 2013 - 34 answers

Help me date myself

I went through a pretty wretched breakup of a long-term relationship earlier this year and am still dealing with the ill effects. I'm not interested in dating anyone, or rather don't think I should date anyone, for a while. But I'm getting really into the idea of dating myself. Please help me come up with ideas to do that! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 14, 2013 - 21 answers

Did I get blown off? Should I make attempt #2?

Asked someone to hang out casually, but got the last minute something came up thing. Mixed messages, etc. Do I try again? [more inside]
posted by christiehawk on Oct 13, 2013 - 11 answers

How am I not myself?

I've been aggressively single for a while now and I'm ready for a change. Step One: rewrite my OkCupid profile? [more inside]
posted by modernserf on Oct 10, 2013 - 20 answers

How to accept non-exclusivity in a new dating relationship?

I'm in a new, nearly-perfect dating relationship, with one caveat: I'd love to be exclusive, and he's not ready (and may never be). I'd love some advice on accepting this and not sabotaging myself with insecurity. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2013 - 37 answers

So...is it my turn to ask him out now?

Online dating (*sigh*). Two successful dates with the same guy. Is it okay to wait for him to contact me, or should I be more proactive? [more inside]
posted by Salamander on Oct 9, 2013 - 21 answers

Making the very 1st move on online dating sites please help!

I'm looking for insight into what is a reasonably good first message to send someone on an online dating site. I've been online for a few months and still feel lost. Successful online daters please enlighten me as to how you do it! Snowflakes inside... [more inside]
posted by outdoorslady on Oct 8, 2013 - 17 answers

Can you recommend a fantastic San Francisco Bay Area speed-dating event?

Speed-dating in San Francisco / Bay Area: Do you know of an active/reliable/recommendation-worthy speed-dating event in San Francisco or North Bay? More specifically, I'm man-seeking-woman and looking for an event demographically strong in 20s & 30s childless professional women. It would be nice if it was an environment where we didn't need to raise our voices to be heard, but the people are the important thing. (My speed-dating experience so far has been arriving to discover that my friend and I were the only people who showed up for it.) [more inside]
posted by anonymisc on Oct 8, 2013 - 1 answer

seeking sober match who Has It Together (mostly) - where to look?

by virtue of an unlikely series of events in the last several years, i'm looking for a certain type of person to date. [more inside]
posted by zdravo on Oct 7, 2013 - 29 answers

How do I tell my friends my relationship has ended?

(Asking for a friend.) My long-term relationship just ended, and I'm trying to figure out how to tell all of my friends and acquaintances about it with a minimum of drama. I'm thinking a mass email is the way to go (Facebook seems like a horrible plan) but I can't deal with the thought of composing that email right now. Help, please! [more inside]
posted by restless_nomad on Oct 5, 2013 - 33 answers

Is this a normal thing when friends get a girlfriend?

I have a guy friend i've known since 1st grade (we're both 26), we went to school together all the way through high school. We had a kind of mutual unspoken, understanding/agreement over the years that we were friends, but we just didn't see each other often around school after a certain grade to be really good friends. Last year, we started talking a lot more on a pretty regular basis (about every day/night). [more inside]
posted by earthquakeglue on Oct 3, 2013 - 20 answers

At what point do you tell your parents you have a SO?

I've been dating my boyfriend for a little less than 5 months. We have radically different approaches to how much we tell our respective parents (for what it's work, we're both in our late twenties). I talk to my parents a few times a week and let them know a few weeks in that I was dating someone. He hasn't let them know he's dating someone yet. At what point do folks generally start telling parents they're seeing someone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2013 - 48 answers

Asking someone behind a food service register out for coffee?

There is this woman/lady/girl/gal who's often behind the register at a Chipotle I'm at 2-3 times per week after work. [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Oct 2, 2013 - 40 answers

How to Express a Dating Deal Breaker Respectfully

Later tonight I will be going on a second date with a new guy that seems like a promising fit. One thing he brought up during the first date is that he's about to go to Amsterdam for a few days and that while there he's looking forward to relaxing and smoking pot. Pot use is a deal breaker for me, but I want to make sure I have all the facts before I let him know that. How do I collect that info respectfully, and then let him know that pot's a deal breaker for me without sounding really weird? [more inside]
posted by These Birds of a Feather on Sep 29, 2013 - 32 answers

Seeing an old ex stirred up more feelings than expected

So more than 4 years after the breakup and we only dated 6 months. But I see her car in the parking lot at the grocery store I go to. I've never seen her there before. I keep looking and see that it's definitely her in the car. We didn't talk. I don't think she saw me. I was leaving as she was pulling in. But my heart definitely raced and all sorts of emotions came flooding back. I was disappointed that it affected me as much as it did. Does this need fixing? How would I fix this? [more inside]
posted by yeahyeahyeah on Sep 26, 2013 - 7 answers

That went well, right?

Had a great first date with a woman who seems pretty busy. She cancelled our second date, asked for a rain check, and I haven't heard from her since. What's the etiquette here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 21 answers

Boundaries: I need them.

How do I set up the right boundaries regarding intimacy when dating new people. Difficulty level: history of abuse, disassociation and social anxiety! (nsfw) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 9 answers

Am I the type that always wants what I don't have?

I'm dating someone fantastic, but I feel nothing. [more inside]
posted by facehugger on Sep 23, 2013 - 16 answers

Haaaaave you met Ted?

I don't know how to meet women. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 23, 2013 - 21 answers

What's a good town for a single man in his late 30s...

What's a non-US city that might be especially good for a 38-year old divorced straight male looking to meet a woman and settle down? Much more specific details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2013 - 37 answers

origin of OkCupid "How is this Site Treating You?" question

Where does "How's your luck on the site?" come from? [more inside]
posted by bearette on Sep 22, 2013 - 7 answers

Where are all the ready-to-settle-down men in London?

You are male, single, employed, 20/30-ish, looking to settle down and start a family with a similar lady within the next three years or so. Where in London do you go to find potential dates? (Asking for a friend.)
posted by fix on Sep 21, 2013 - 10 answers

Should I reach out to him?

I have been seeing a great guy non-exclusively for about three months (yep, the dreaded three month mark). We're both 27. Everything had been going very well up until this past weekend, when I met up with him and his friends at a concert. I was supposed to attend the concert with my best friend but we had a huge falling out the night before and I very inappropriately chose to drink my feelings. While I didn't do anything awful, I felt like my behavior was unflattering. He dropped me off after the show and the next day, I texted him an apology "for being annoying" and said I had a good time with hregardless and have a good day. 8 hours later, he responded asking if he made me uncomfortable. I said no, not at all, but I was self conscious that I had drank more than I intended. Two days later he responded "it's fine." I haven't heard from him otherwise. Communication up to this point had been good, and almost always initiated by him. I feel like I shot myself in the foot, but it also seems silly to throw away something good over something so minor. Is his silence indication that he's through? Should I give it more time to see if he comes around. or should I try reaching out again? [more inside]
posted by starsatnight on Sep 19, 2013 - 47 answers

How do I let a coworker know I'm unequivocally interested in him?

With the caveat that I know 'shitting where I eat' is a bad idea, I'd like to let a coworker know I'm interested in him. Asking him out isn't an option too, because I'm pretty shy and would probably blush and flub anything that's supposed to be casual. How do I do this? We have zero interaction. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 19, 2013 - 30 answers

Dating filter: I like this guy - but he only talks about himself

I'm interested in dating and otherwise be-friend a guy. We have common interests and he seems to be "nice" and has a high level of intelligence. That said - Every conversation revolves around him. I love to ask people questions and let them "talk freely about their life or whatever"... but at some point you want to have a two-sided conversation. How can I politely make this point without coming across in the wrong way? This is not someone I have known longer then a couple dates.
posted by audio on Sep 18, 2013 - 25 answers

How to deal with probably unwarranted jealousy

Been dating my SO for about 6 months. Recently I've noticed them contacting an old friend more often. I'm feeling jealous, and kind of think I'm crazy for feeling that way, but I can't shake it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2013 - 11 answers

Asking someone out after job rejection

So I didn't get the job, sadly, but I'm interested in asking out one of the people who interviewed me (not the hiring manager). I'm female, he's male, we're both in our early 30s. Would that be weird? It's a fairly casual organization, but I may be interested in applying for another job there in the future...
posted by three_red_balloons on Sep 17, 2013 - 28 answers

What and when are more?

How long do you give yourself and your non-boyfriend to make up your minds? [more inside]
posted by drme on Sep 17, 2013 - 11 answers

The ethics/practicalities of an older woman dating a younger male virgin

[This post contains somewhat graphic descriptions of our intimate experiences and sexual topics generally, so if you are sensitive or perhaps at work it is good to know that.] I am in my early 30s and my new boyfriend is in his mid 20s. I am the first woman he has ever dated, the third he has ever kissed and if we progress in the relationship I will be the first he has ever had sex with. He is a phenomenal human being and I can hardly believe how lucky I am to know him let alone get the chance to have a relationship with him. I am worried about a few things, however and want to weigh them carefully before proceeding any further. [more inside]
posted by telomere on Sep 16, 2013 - 36 answers

A careless Facebook friend request has caused some larger problems

Hey guys, help me resolve this awkward situation that started with a Facebook friend request and has now blown up out of proportion. [more inside]
posted by ashkenazy on Sep 16, 2013 - 39 answers

Need sex advice: Possible to learn to enjoy dominance/submission?

New to MeFi, so sorry if this is an odd post... I just started dating a guy - let's call him Michael - who has noted several times that he likes to be a little aggressive in the sack (and although we have not yet had sex, this became clear when we made out/fooled around recently... he was pretty man-handly/dominating, did a little dirty talking, etc.). I have next to no experience in even very mild dominance/submission stuff and honestly have never had any interest in it. I can be a good sport and do a little dirty-talking if it's going to make someone's day, but it has always felt too contrived for me to enjoy it for my own sake. And I've never tried anything beyond that. That said, I really like Michael, am very sexually attracted to him, would hate to end things with him prematurely because of an unexplored difference in our sexual styles, and, frankly, couldn't help but feel a little lame/boring/conservative if I put an end to it for that reason. So, my question: as someone who isn't naturally inclined to be interested in dominance/submission, is there a chance I could learn to like it, or is it pretty much something you like or don't? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 14, 2013 - 29 answers

The best dating services

I'd like your opinions and personal experiences with on-line dating services for long-term monogamous relationships. I was very dissatisfied with match.com because I got a snotty customer service dude who used a tone with me because I didn't know they renewed automatically each month. Success stories welcome, too. I'm over forty. [more inside]
posted by intrepid_simpleton on Sep 9, 2013 - 23 answers

Should this just be a nice memory?

A few weeks ago, my friend and I confessed our mutual feelings. Then we went our separate ways, and there were loose ends. How can I be clear about my intentions? Should I be? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2013 - 14 answers

Need guy advice

How to put the moves on a sensible, reserved guy, who may not have any romantic interest in me, and is leaving the country in two weeks? [more inside]
posted by galenka on Sep 7, 2013 - 27 answers

Should I asked this guy if he's still interested?

I proposed a date to a guy I'm seeing casually, and he turned it down without offering another solution. I'm starting to feel that I'm putting in more effort than I should at this point. Should I ask him if he still wants to date in general? [more inside]
posted by thick woolen socks on Sep 5, 2013 - 26 answers

Shy men, give me some insight

I'm trying to get to know a shy guy. How to proceed? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Sep 5, 2013 - 29 answers

One-off online personal ads?

Are there any other thriving sites out there, like craiglist, where you can post one-off personal ads? Dating, casual encounters, whatever--I'm looking for sites that *don't* have a single static profile (e.g. match, okcupid), but instead you post something, and it ages over time, and then you can post something else after a while.
posted by zeek321 on Sep 4, 2013 - 1 answer

How to get out of this?

For the last 6 months, I have been involved in and online "thing". I think it's time to cut this off. Most effective way? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Sep 3, 2013 - 14 answers

hurting over past relationship now more than when the break up happened

I feel like I'm going backwards with the break up over my past relationship which occured over six months ago. I was fine for months afterwards and, in the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling increasingly guilty over my behaviour toward my depressed ex and it hurts to think about memories together and him in general much more than it used to. Is it normal, could it be because our one year anniversary would have been in a few days? Why is it happening, when I feel like I care more about my current bf than I did him? Am I betraying him? What should I do? [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Sep 3, 2013 - 5 answers

How to ask out a coworker?

How to/Should I ask my coworker, who may not even know my name, out on a date? [more inside]
posted by Robocat on Aug 31, 2013 - 22 answers

He's the one who made things awkward, so why do I feel like a jerk?

A co-worker/friend drunkenly confessed romantic feelings; I reciprocated; now he’s acting cold to me. Do I try to clear the air? Or let it go? [more inside]
posted by gimleteye on Aug 30, 2013 - 21 answers

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