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Non-student Non-professor Attraction

As a late 20s non-student, how do I proceed with my attraction to my late 20s non-professor? Please share your perspective and experiences. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2014 - 23 answers

I need to move to LA in March, but do you want to get a drink?

I've been very busy with a work-at-home project for the past 4 months and I'd like to get out of the house. I'm in Minneapolis but moving to California mid March. A number of women have contacted me on OK Cupid over the past week. They seem great, and I would like to ask them out to dinner or a drink. I do want to maximize my chance of going out, but also feel like springing that info mid-date will ruin the vibe. Should I tell them I am moving before meeting up in person? [more inside]
posted by BabeTheBlueOX on Feb 7, 2014 - 14 answers

Should I continue to date an egregiously bad tipper?

On our third date, a seemingly great guy didn't tip at all on the bill at a fancy-ish restaurant, despite the fact that we received special treatment from my friend who works there (who was not our server). Question part 1: is this a deal breaker? Question part 2: should I contact my friend to apologize on the guy's behalf? [more inside]
posted by tomorrow on Feb 7, 2014 - 165 answers

How even does one "take it slow" in a relationship? Teach me!

I broke off a long-term relationship recently, and I want that to not screw it up with a new guy I'm super excited about! [more inside]
posted by internet of pillows on Feb 4, 2014 - 12 answers

Guys: Is nervousness in a girl always a turn-off?

Sometimes I just feel so awkward when I meet a seemingly eligible, nice guy. I feel certain that it is obvious that I am nervous and then I start feeling self-conscious about my nervousness. I feel like there is a stereotype of the sort of sweetly nervous, somewhat awkward nice guy that girls may like because his sweet, nice, nervousness means he is a nice guy who likes you. Does this go the other way at all? [more inside]
posted by thesnowyslaps on Feb 2, 2014 - 24 answers

Getting out of friend zone

There's this one girl friend that I have. We started out as friends and I thought she was cute and I had a slight interest in her. However since we were in different majors and I studied abroad, I haven't seen her in over a year with no contacts. Today, I just met her after not seeing her for a long time and we had lunch. However, I felt attracted to her and I was wondering whether I should give it a go and ask her out. I still think she sees me as a friend judging by the text conversation before we went out for lunch. What do you guys think I should do? Is it worth it?
posted by soul24rage on Feb 1, 2014 - 22 answers

Dating while depressed?

Due to various life happenings, I am not in a great place mindset-wise and have more than a tinge of depression. I am also more than ever rather lonely, and would like a partner. I worry that subconsciously I am looking for someone to help "fix" and take care of me during this depression, which is not the best reason to date and would be unfair to whatever partner I might find. Then again, this loneliness could very well be contributing to my depression. Would it be a bad idea to date under these circumstances? Has anyone dated while depressed with positive results? Or should I wait until I am in a better frame of mind to search for a partner?
posted by CottonCandyCapers on Jan 29, 2014 - 14 answers

Dating with PTSD - And Tell Me Cutting Off This "Friend" Was Right

I've got PTSD and am socially isolated in graduate school. I met a hot guy, and had to friend-dump him because he's in a long distance relationship. Tell me I did this right! [more inside]
posted by cheberet on Jan 28, 2014 - 21 answers

Grief and a brand-new long-distance relationship

I am in a brand-new long-distance relationship with a guy I really care for. He recently experienced the death of a friend, and since this happened a week ago he has been essentially non-communicative with me. He sent me one generic text at a strange hour a week ago (along the lines of "busy week, really tired") and other than that it's been silence. Should, and how, can I support him during this time? Help me make sense of his behavior and to gauge what my response should be. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 21, 2014 - 38 answers

Unsure about thus relationship cycle

I'm caught in a casual, hot and cold relationship with a person I fell in love with years ago. I can't tell anymore what is normal relationship behavior. I'm a female in my 20's, involved with a person in his 40's. We have similar sensibilities and get along great but then he goes cold. He always let's me decide if I want to stay or not. Everytime I leave, I end up coming back because I miss him and I'm greeted with enthusiasm. He's a sweetheart and never acted aggressively towards me which leaves me confused. 'Cause he'll go out of his way to help me with anything I need and once I get comfortable and thankful, he grows cold. He never saw us as "dating" even though we were plus the issues of him getting over an ex. I can be a bit of a people pleaser at times but I always abide by the rule of if you don't want to be with someone and they have strong feelings for you, you cease contact. He doesn't do this and I'm confused. I feel like a puppet. I don't know what's going on in his head. I don't even know if it's abusive or not. I have been in an abusive relationship and this doesn't mirror it so I'm having a tough time processing what's going on. Please help.
posted by InterestedInKnowing on Jan 21, 2014 - 17 answers

How to Get Better at Speed Dating

I've done speed dating before, with little to no success. I know the entire thing is very much a crapshoot, but are there any ways to make the most of it and potentially get a match? [more inside]
posted by Puck Soppet on Jan 20, 2014 - 15 answers

Is it ever a good idea to date your ex?

How do you know if it's a good idea to date your ex? Is it just NEVER a good idea, as is the commonly accepted wisdom? Or can it work out sometimes? Should I give it another go? [more inside]
posted by quincunx on Jan 19, 2014 - 19 answers

I turned him down. So why do I keep thinking about him?

I met someone online. Had a great date with him, but ultimately decided not to pursue things with him. So why can't I get him out of my head? And should I try again with him? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 18, 2014 - 21 answers

How to deal with a breakup when your girlfriend leaves you?

How to deal with a break up when your girlfriend breaks up after 9 months? [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Jan 14, 2014 - 11 answers

Help me make date #2 less platonic

Met a girl for a first date, liked her a lot, am asking her on a second date. I don't know how to cross the boundary between platonic chitchat and flirting/kissing/etc. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 14, 2014 - 34 answers

It's been a long, long time coming...

My relationship is great, with one small problem - no matter what my girlfriend and I try, I'm not having an orgasm. Oversharing details inside... [more inside]
posted by Ed The Sock on Jan 12, 2014 - 30 answers

Friday night, at the high school basketball game.

I am a young, single teacher and my whole life is consumed by school. How do I survive this and not end up lonely forever? [more inside]
posted by sockysocksock on Jan 10, 2014 - 10 answers

Married to our jobs, but seeing each other on the side

How do I avoid shop talk on dates? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Jan 8, 2014 - 34 answers

Dating someone but it's not as fun as I'd like it to be

I've recently had my fourth date with a guy that I met online. Whilst I feel a definite connection with him, and there's a 'spark' so to speak, I don't feel like we have loads to talk about, or that the conversation flows as naturally as it could, and I also don't feel like we have as much silly fun as I'd like to have. Is this the kind of thing that could grow with time...? More details below. [more inside]
posted by pennywise_1 on Jan 6, 2014 - 21 answers

Another Okcupid profile review.

Just started a new account. Maybe you guys can help me out? [more inside]
posted by MeaninglessMisfortune on Jan 4, 2014 - 22 answers

Kiss Out Of Nowhere, Now I'm Confused

I was pursuing someone but it didn't seem to be going anywhere. Then she kissed me out of nowhere on New Year's. Mixed signals galore. Am I getting led on? Or maybe I am doing something wrong? [more inside]
posted by christiehawk on Jan 3, 2014 - 13 answers

Help me out with the old online dating profile please.

Hello, I'm trying out the whole Match.com thing for the first time and am having trouble making my profile really stand out. I'm getting a little writers block as well. I've tried doing the funny thing and it just comes across as corny. I'm not fond of my writing skills and what I've put together feels it's a little flat. Let me know if anybody has any suggestions for improvement. Of course, any grammar corrections are more than welcome as well. More inside and Thanks! [more inside]
posted by Che boludo! on Dec 31, 2013 - 31 answers

The realities of online dating in the UK?

I'm concerned that I might have unrealistic expectations of online dating, and that this might be why I'm not having much luck with it. [more inside]
posted by toerinishuman on Dec 29, 2013 - 9 answers

Can We Be Friends?

I had a sort-of breakup recently, and I'm wondering whether I should move forward as friends or never speak to this guy again. [more inside]
posted by cscott on Dec 23, 2013 - 24 answers

How can I try to approach this (battered) woman?

Yesterday I came back for holidays to the small town where I grew up. At my sister's home, she introduced me to a nice young woman (let's call her Mary) who lives next door from my sister. From my weekly phone calls to my sister, I knew that Mary and my sister had become quite close over the last couple of months. Mary seems to be a helpful and considerate person. On meeting personally yesterday, I found her attractive too. I knew she was living with the father of her two young children, so I had ruled out any attempts to get to know her. However, last night during dinner with my family, I learned from my sister and mother that a couple of weeks ago Mary had had her partner arrested on charges of domestic violence. I also learned that there was a history of incidents of spousal violence involving the couple, and that the man had since his release from prison been living in a different flat next to Mary and their children. According to my sister, Mary is planning to terminate the relationship soon. [more inside]
posted by kayrosianian on Dec 21, 2013 - 49 answers

Who's better for me - the girl I want or the girl my family wants?

It seems like a no-brainer answer at first glance - of course you stick with a girl you really dig regardless of what Mommy and Daddy think. But I'm not so sure my own tastes are in my best interest... [more inside]
posted by johnpoe50 on Dec 21, 2013 - 50 answers

Best way to approach a girl in a library?

So I'm going to this library practically everyday to study (I can no longer study at home) and there's this girl who sits 5 meters or so from me in another table. We just stare at each other for seconds and then look away. [more inside]
posted by Attozes on Dec 20, 2013 - 28 answers

So, uh, how does this sex stuff work, anyway?

(Or, how do I reconcile the tension that comes with wanting to date but not having an internal template for how the whole rigmarole of dating works?) My life is pretty good right now, and a huge part of why it’s that way is my amazing friendships. But sometimes I feel like taking steps towards something more meaningful and a little more permanent in my life. Where do I start? I feel a little weird about the whole sex and dating thing for chicken-and-the-egg-y reasons, and weird emotional issues too, and reading on the Internet and hearing from friends about the myriad ways people are able to be judgey, or to screw each other over, or generally look out for #1 in their relationships is really getting me down too. As a result, I’m kind of despairing a little about being able to find a mutually respectful and healthy environment with someone neat where I can explore the sexual side of myself and we of ourselves, all the while remaining true to myself and what I value. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 20, 2013 - 22 answers

All the single gentlemen, SF version

How do I meet single men in their 30s in SF? [more inside]
posted by so much modern time on Dec 17, 2013 - 16 answers

Dates that encourage interaction with others?

I have been dating someone new and I really like spending time with him! But so far we've only hung out one-on-one. What are activities two people can do together, but which also encourage interaction with others? [more inside]
posted by figgy_finicky on Dec 16, 2013 - 13 answers

Me and You and That Guy

I can't stand my sister's boyfriend. He's coming for Christmas. They're inseparable. Now what? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 14, 2013 - 47 answers

Are women supposed to bring up the commitment talk?

I've been "seeing" someone for three weeks now, and he seems interested... I think... but hasn't mentioned anything regarding a relationship or exclusivity yet. Should I bring it up or wait it out? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Dec 13, 2013 - 26 answers

What is an actual "dealbreaker" when it comes to relationships?

I met a wonderful man. He is kind, loving, smart, generous, funny, encouraging and we have unbeatable chemistry and honest communication. On one hand, I'm trying to be in the moment and enjoy this process (about six weeks in now). On the other hand, I'm thinking about the future. I'm a firm believer in gut instincts. When I hit it off with someone, it's often instant and has lead to some long and meaningful relationships. I also have a bad habit of overlooking issues. I've never ended a relationship. We have a great time when we're together and see one another often (5-6 times a week). Things have progressed really quickly and I feel confident in what we've established in terms of labels and exclusivity. I have no doubt of how he feels about me, nor of how I feel about him. But. He is in a very precarious financial and living situation. He's a freelancer who often goes weeks with very little/no money. He's helping friends with their business, so as of now has a free place to stay, but that too is a potentially temporary agreement. He has no interest in taking a job just for a paycheck. [more inside]
posted by patientpatient on Dec 8, 2013 - 42 answers

Are lust and loneliness always bad counselors?

I (30) am occasionally tutoring a girl (20) who seems to have some (undiagnosed) learning disability. Yesterday, she dropped me some hints that she might be attracted to me. I find her physically attractive too, but I realize that, on paper, we are not a good match. The differences in terms of education and prospects are considerable. She is a dropout trying to return to high school, she also assists her sister at a modest beauty parlor, I am a nerdy graduate student. As a long-time single, it is probably mainly lust and loneliness which is encouraging me to consider suggesting meeting outside tutoring time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2013 - 34 answers

Best cities for a mid-thirties single woman: international edition

I asked this question recently: best cities for a mid thirties single woman, and got lots of awesome answers about US cities (thank you!). I'm wondering the same about some cities outside the US (I have a few specific ones in mind). [more inside]
posted by sunflower16 on Nov 30, 2013 - 10 answers

Kill the Buzz Kill

I met a guy recently who has an amazing personality. He's incredibly playful and sweet, and he's a nerdy feisty intellectual. Precisely the type I like. I want to go on a few dates with him and see if there's anything there, but my interest in him is dwindling already because of a certain something, and this always happens to me. It's damn frustrating and I'd like to change it, but I don't even know precisely what 'it' is. [more inside]
posted by OneHermit on Nov 29, 2013 - 26 answers

How do I address the issue that my new flame doesn't offer to pay?

I'm a 32 year old male, she's 28, and we're both NYC natives, if it matters. We get along well and we enjoy our time together. Generally, I'm ok paying for the first three or four dates, however beyond that it's clear we like spending time with each other, so I'd prefer that it was a mutual effort to cover costs. Otherwise, I feel like I'm paying for her time and presence, and it feels gross. We've been dating for almost a month now. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2013 - 52 answers

Brain and body not both in love, makes me feel bad

I have been dating a woman for just under six months that I met unexpectedly when visiting another city. She is almost perfect: smart,funny, sassy, intellectually stimulating, kind, attentive, independently minded, socially aware, positive, sociable, generous, emotionally strong and sensitive, likes and wants to have children, easy going and has great friends. She dresses well and is pretty, has a lovely smile and is healthful. We enjoy straightforward communication and are open and honest with each other. I am not very physically attracted to her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 27, 2013 - 25 answers

No more drama, plz

How can I handle this situation with a minimum of fuss and hurt feelings? [more inside]
posted by bookgirl18 on Nov 24, 2013 - 14 answers

What are the best cities for a mid-thirties single woman?

What are the best cities for a mid-thirties single woman? [more inside]
posted by sunflower16 on Nov 22, 2013 - 21 answers

Awkward neighbor

My neighbor attempted to ask me out today. I'm not interested. How do I keep things from being awkward while living here for another year and a half? [more inside]
posted by DoubleLune on Nov 22, 2013 - 41 answers

Dating for dysthymics

Single guy here, doing the online dating thing. Despite pickiness in who I message and high on-paper compatibility, all my dates so far (about ten different women) have been meh. This may be just a statistical fluke, but I suspect it's related to the meh-ness of life in general: I have dysthymia, aka constant mild depression, so am rarely very excited about anything, women included. I'm in therapy for this, and may be starting on meds soon, but meanwhile, what should my dating strategy be? Should I try for second and third dates with women who don't really interest me and hope I warm to them with time, or should I keep searching for that spark? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 21, 2013 - 23 answers

I slept with him on the first date - is this fixable or a lost cause?

I slept with him on the first date, and now he's lost interest. Is there any salvaging it? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Nov 21, 2013 - 44 answers

Should I ask the man I'm seeing not to have a vasectomy?

I'm in my mid-20's, leaning towards not having kids, but recognize that I could change my mind. I just started dating a wonderful man who has scheduled a vasectomy for next month. Is it asking too much to ask him to reconsider? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2013 - 44 answers

What steps can I take to meet a family orientated partner?

I'm an early 30s male, I have spent the last few years living a very self-centered life, hopping around short term casual relationships. I recently had a change of priorities, and want to prioritise starting a family. The gist of the question is about compromise. What kind of traits should be prioritised in a partner? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2013 - 37 answers

Getting over a love and hate relationship with a womanizer

I dated a guy, on and off, for more than two years... He didn't commit and even slept with other women while he was sleeping with me. I still loved him but hated him at the same time. I tried to get my revenge but I don't know what to feel anymore. [more inside]
posted by sedulous on Nov 17, 2013 - 20 answers

Really want to call this guy...but not sure if for friendship or dating.

We clicked and he seems super fun and I want to hang with him again [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Nov 15, 2013 - 11 answers

I'm actually into someone. Uh... what now?

I've taken a liking to someone and it seems that whenever this happens said person loses interest - even when they were previously quite into me. How do I prevent this from happening this time? Also, how do I not mess things up inbetween dates? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Nov 13, 2013 - 8 answers

"Same background dating" for a potential immigrant in the United States

I'm currently a non immigrant in the United States and looking to settle down here because I want to be away from the society I was raised in. However, I'm looking for a person that shares the better parts of my cultural beliefs and value sets so I can preserve some of them when raising children here, and keep in touch with my roots. Are there any good dating resources that mefi can help me with, or general ideas on what I can do to seek such partners? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2013 - 12 answers

fwb not beneficial

FWB turned into dating but now I want even more! [more inside]
posted by lhude sing cuccu on Nov 10, 2013 - 26 answers

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