2344 posts tagged with dating.
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Dating IRL with few social connections

I’m a 31 year old woman and I want to expand my options beyond just online dating for meeting men and finding someone. [more inside]
posted by amya on May 23, 2016 - 17 answers

How does a woman date online safely?

Is it too much to ask for a full real name and date of birth before meeting so that I can do a background check on them? [more inside]
posted by rancher on May 22, 2016 - 75 answers

Match Vs OkC... which for long term relationship IN NYC specifically!

The age old question of which online dating site is better often has differing answers based on location.. So what about in NYC specifically? [more inside]
posted by manderin on May 20, 2016 - 11 answers

Ex's grandma just passed away. Should I text him?

I was dating this 23-yo guy for about 5 months but we were never official. We broke up in March because I wanted the relationship to progress and he didn't. Since then, we still continue to talk and we hang out as friends about once a month. He knows that I want us to get back together since I've initiated us hanging out the past few times. He's told me he enjoys my company and he's considering giving us another chance. The last time we met, he told me he'd text me when he's done with his final exams so we can meet up. I just found out through FB that his grandmother just passed away. I never got to meet any of his family but he has talked about them before. Would it be okay if I send a text sharing my condolence? I really do feel bad for him. Or should I just wait and see if he texts me to meet up and then tell him in person?
posted by missybitsy on May 16, 2016 - 29 answers

How to ask women out without seeming creepy or desperate

I am single after an 8 year relationship. I was engaged. I have no idea how to navigate today's dating landscape. Most of my past relationships have developed out of having regular contact with someone for a long time and getting to know them and become friends. Details inside.... [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on May 11, 2016 - 50 answers

How to navigate dating thoughtfully when it's not one person at a time?

I’m starting to navigate the on-line dating world, and from what I understand, it’s normal (and maybe even preferable) to interact with several people at once, meet them and then narrow it down, so to speak. But I seem to have a problem with this. [more inside]
posted by LakeDream on May 11, 2016 - 17 answers

How to ask out my TA? … when we’ve already made out?

How to ask out my TA? … when we’ve already made out? My judgment may be slightly clouded by, um, hormones. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2016 - 14 answers

Short relationship and he asked for space to think about things

I feel pretty upset that this guy I've been dating for 1.5 months (and known for longer) has suddenly decided he needs space while I was away. He has every right to choose to stop seeing me but we see each other frequently in our social circle and where he works/works out at and will continue to for another 3 months, so I told him I would like to talk to him about it in person. [more inside]
posted by korrasamus on May 10, 2016 - 18 answers

Healthily approaching close friendships with a bit of attraction in them

I'm a guy and have this lovely female friend of mine who I get along with fantastically. The two of us have a supportive, companionable friendship, and are seeing each other frequently; we're both really enjoying the dynamic we've been having. For special snowflake reasons, though, it's better that I don't endeavor towards dating her for the meanwhile. Please give me your perspective: help me to manage my expectations to better maintain this friendship. [more inside]
posted by a good beginning on May 6, 2016 - 19 answers

Is my OKCupid okay, cupids?

I'm hoping for some feedback on my OKCupid profile, general and specific. [more inside]
posted by sleevener on May 5, 2016 - 23 answers

Not another narcissist? (covert)

I recently started dating a guy who seems great in a lot of ways, but a friend recently suggested he might be a "covert narcissist". Both of my previous relationships have been with overt narcissists and ended pretty badly, so naturally I'm not happy to hear this but am willing to consider it a possibility. [more inside]
posted by seraph9 on May 2, 2016 - 19 answers

Asking Ex About Why He is Using a Picture of Us on a Dating App

I happened upon my ex's profile on a dating app and of course, I looked at it. I was completely shaken to see that he is using a picture of US as the last of his 6 pictures. I was upset and in a pretty passive way tried to ask him about it through text, which he has not responded to. We have plans to meet up next week and I'm wondering how to address this now. [more inside]
posted by cristalina on Apr 30, 2016 - 28 answers

Too exhausted/hung over/wrecked for a date?

Short version: Started seeing great gal, we're 3 dates in and have a 4th coming up. Banter is great, sexy talk awesome, pretty frequent texting (every 2-3 days, initiated by either). Thing is, she's now canceled/re-scheduled 2 dates on account of being... too tired. Really? Long version inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2016 - 33 answers

Am I too picky when I date? Why am I still single?

Lately I've been wondering if I am too picky and if I have too high standards, and dumping people before giving them a chance. [more inside]
posted by pando11 on Apr 27, 2016 - 17 answers

Have I made a mistake?

I broke up with my first real long term boyfriend about a month ago, but it was dragged out for a few weeks so only unofficially ended with no contact a few days ago. [more inside]
posted by izz97 on Apr 26, 2016 - 9 answers

How do I talk to attractive people?

I'm having success with online dating insofar as I've been lucky enough to go on dates with people I'm very physically attracted to! However, I turn into a terrible conversationalist with them when I'm on dates: I talk too fast, spiral off on tangents, try too hard to impress, fail to make decent eye contact and generally act like a schoolkid with a huge crush rather than the intelligent, mature adult I like to think I am. As a result, things tend to disintegrate after a couple of dates, because I'm not really being myself. How can I overcome this? [more inside]
posted by Panthalassa on Apr 24, 2016 - 12 answers

What are the most revealing signs you're not into someone?

Besides the very obvious that leave no space for doubt, I'm mainly talking about those ambivalent situations when you're not quite sure if it's you, them or the timing. [more inside]
posted by ariadne_88 on Apr 23, 2016 - 36 answers

Is "What's your sign?" a sign to move on?

On a second date that generally seemed to be going very well, she asked: "What's your sign?" I care a lot about skepticism and rationality, and I think astrology is a baseless pseudoscience. Should this one thing be such a dealbreaker as to make me walk away from a connection that would otherwise seem to have potential? [more inside]
posted by jejune on Apr 17, 2016 - 101 answers

Should I bother trying to find a submissive partner while I'm poor?

Should I bother trying to find a submissive partner while I'm poor? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2016 - 8 answers

Early Online Dating: How Upfront?

Online dating is horrible and feelings fleeting. How to deal? How aggressively upfront can I be? [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Apr 14, 2016 - 18 answers

New relationship good practices

Please give me your best practices for starting a relationship off on the right foot. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2016 - 10 answers

What do you like to do for fun?

I started online dating recently and this is the question that I get asked often. Or "what do you do in your spare time?". I actually don't do much. I "think" rather than "do". How to even answer this? [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Apr 10, 2016 - 28 answers

New "relationship" moving too fast

I started seeing this guy 2.5 weeks ago. He's great. We click really well, he's incredibly nice and funny and sweet and all else. But in that time we've gone from just meeting to knowing a ton of intimate details about each other's lives (mental health problems, his father's alcoholism, his sister's self-harm) and cuddling and kissing at his place for eight hours straight. It's not like it's horribly unreasonable but I'm overwhelmed and scared and need help setting limits/managing my emotions. [more inside]
posted by Amy93 on Apr 9, 2016 - 20 answers

Flirting? Via messaging? ...help?

Well this is new to me: I actually contacted a real-life crush online (!), but have no idea what to do next. Please advise. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2016 - 7 answers

How do you know if a woman really likes you and is open to dating you?

This is probably something I should have figured out at 17 rather than 27, but here I am. My own experiences with women haven't been really positive. I was always a bit shy when I was younger. My dad was abusive so I ended up clinging to my mother. My mom is a good woman but she can be a bit controlling and overbearing at times. Plus she was a conservative muslim so it's not like she ever encouraged me to date and indeed actively discouraged me from doing so. [more inside]
posted by Dynamo05 on Apr 8, 2016 - 40 answers

Help me not be a kissing bully, because I really want to kiss you.

I really want to kiss someone NOW. I don't want to make the same impulsive, intense (?) mistake that I made in the past, but I'm also too old (late 40s) to wait around passively and wonder. I worry that I'm developing feelings that may not actually be reciprocated despite obvious attraction and personal interest. So I need to find out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2016 - 21 answers

I'd love to spend SOME time with you.... Introverts and dating?

I'd like to hear from other introverts about your experiences with dating and burn-out. Is having it at all (or even a few months in) a bad sign for long-term compatibility? Or just a sign that the relationship is moving too fast for you? Or do you set strong boundaries on your time and just trust that the right person will understand? [more inside]
posted by seraph9 on Apr 6, 2016 - 19 answers

Should I Even Date?

I don't know if I even want a relationship. How do I find out? [more inside]
posted by zchyrs on Apr 5, 2016 - 11 answers

Gay man in a relationship which could be going better

I'm a gay man in a relationship with a closeted man. We've been dating for a few months, going out to dinner and to movies, texting each other for an hour or two every night, talking about all sorts of things ... but things could be going better. (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2016 - 20 answers

wanting to want me ain't the real thing

Help me define and communicate my own needs with my sporadically emotionally unavailable new girlfriend. [more inside]
posted by missmary6 on Mar 29, 2016 - 16 answers

Dear Crush: Did you notice that I initated?

"Hi! Just wanted you to know that if you ask me to coffee, I would say yes." [more inside]
posted by RaRa-SpaceRobot on Mar 28, 2016 - 18 answers

Is my anxiety ruining things or is something really off (dating)?

About a month ago I started seeing a guy with whom I felt an instant spark (very rare for me). Almost immediately my anxiety kicked in and I started worrying that he wouldn't like me, was taking days to return my emails, etc. Then he told me he really likes me and my anxiety switched around to maybe I don't like him and almost compulsively looking for flaws / red flags. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2016 - 10 answers

Could I ask out a girl on ride-shares like lyft without sounding weird?

I have hard time meeting people. While driving for lyft, I am very professional and have good reviews and at times I strike up a nice conversation with the riders especially women and feel like getting to know more about the girl(about 5% of time). But I chicken out in the end and just stay professional, wondering if it would be appropriate to ask a girl her number, or if she has a bf etc. Is it okay to ask people out? If so, how you do it without sounding weird? what is a good exit strategy if it doesn't work out?
posted by daveg02 on Mar 28, 2016 - 71 answers

GF is more successful than me, how do I deal?

My girlfriend is more successful than me. How do I keep myself from turning into a jealous weird guy? I want to celebrate and support her success, without getting bummed out and feeling emasculated. Looking for strategies (non-redpill) on how to not let this get to me, not blow my budget, and maintain my sense of masculinity. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2016 - 31 answers

He stopped talking to me abruptly and with no warning, now what?

I am utterly baffled and confused by the behavior of this person I've been seeing for the past 2,5 months, who has not contacted me in a week, and I am not sure how to proceed from here. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 23, 2016 - 79 answers

How do I cope with not being #1 with my g/f who has 2 young kids.

All my past relationships were ones which we could both selfishly be top of the totem pole to the other, now I've been dating a woman with 2 children under 10 and I'm struggling with being too needy or feeling like I want more of her time than I guess she wants to/can give. I understand I'll never come before her kids and I do care for them as well but it's very challenging lately to cope with since there's been a dramatic drop in intimacy lately too (not just sex but random acts of kindness; the "honeymoon period" type affection stopped almost at the same time as moving in with her). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 14, 2016 - 20 answers

Dating in a Foreign Country While Gay

I've really been enjoying living in China, but I've been wanting to get out of the house and go on dates. I would love advice on dating across language and culture barriers, especially for LGBT people. [more inside]
posted by Trifling on Mar 12, 2016 - 2 answers

Academia/small world dating

Dating across professor/student or supervisor/supervisee lines is clearly out of bounds. However, dating colleagues can also present opportunities for things to blow up in messy and dramatic and hard-to-fix ways, given the small world of many academic disciplines. If you're interested in a colleague in your department, what are some rules (or rules of thumb) to keep in mind when approaching them, beginning to date, and - if necessary - ending a relationship?
posted by clawsoon on Mar 9, 2016 - 35 answers

How to be friends when you wanted more

I have a lot of female friends, but no guy friends. So it's already a little harder for me to navigate this. I have a few questions: 1. Is it normal behavior for a guy to text everyday and only go on one-on-one hangouts with a girl? 2. Is it even possible to be friends with someone you have some sort of feelings for? 3. Do I tell him I feel confused? [more inside]
posted by flowy on Mar 5, 2016 - 15 answers

Online dating at a certain age. Need some help.

I am one of those professional women of a certain age who never married and who hasn't been on a date since my 20s. I have decided to give it a try. And I have no idea what I am doing. [more inside]
posted by AMyNameIs on Mar 5, 2016 - 18 answers

Getting over someone while stuck between a rock and a hard place...

I need some concrete suggestions for moving on from a person in my life, but I feel like I'm creating barriers for myself in doing this. I have a busy life: a kid, a full-time job, multiple creative projects and athletic endeavors. But I'm stuck on this person and kind of "afraid" of dating (explanation to follow). HELP. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2016 - 15 answers

Finding a connection in the big city

So, I got my divorce finalized recently after having been separated for 1.5 years. I think I am ready to try meeting and knowing new people. The challenge is I moved to US about 3 years ago and don't really have any experience with dating here. [more inside]
posted by TheLittlePrince on Mar 1, 2016 - 12 answers

How can I develop sparks while dating Mr. Sparkless But Right?

I finally met a guy who's perfect for me on paper: he's kind, polite, and considerate, and he shares many of my interests. He seems to be looking for something serious. We both want to get married and start a family (not necessarily with each other... yet). But we don't have fun together and there aren't ANY sparks. I think it's because we're both mild-mannered introverts who need a more outgoing and sexually aggressive dating partner. Help! Do I need to morph into a different kind of person to keep this relationship going? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Mar 1, 2016 - 63 answers

My guy does not like dogs the same. Comments? Advice?

My new guy does not like dogs the same way I do. Mainly he believes large dogs should be outside at all times because then if they poop he doesn't have to clean up large poop. He states he's a dog lover. [more inside]
posted by LadyAerin on Feb 28, 2016 - 107 answers

Help me get along with my bf's perfectly decent family

I (F, early 30s) have been together with my bf (mid 30s) for 2 years and have spent many a weekend together with his family. They are always really nice and welcoming to me and yet I still don't feel comfortable around them because of: difference in family background (his family is extremely close-knit and generally happy, mine is a painful emotional mess), my own tendency to feel like an outsider, my not really liking who he is when around his family, and my not-entirely-baseless insecurity about him always choosing his family over me (more explanation about the last two inside). My questions: 1. How can I learn to be more comfortable around his family? I am interested mainly in advice on how I can manage my insecurity about him always choosing his family over me. 2. Is there any point of doing (1) at all or are we just incompatible? [more inside]
posted by thecampushippo on Feb 28, 2016 - 24 answers

Like, fifty green-eyed monsters.

My fiance just helped my--to be as melodramatic as possible about it--archnemesis into the same elite career/institution he's in, so that now I have not one, but two people to pathetically peer at, looking in with my nose pressed to the glass. He also had a thing for her before we started dating (and during). I'm freaked out and bitter. Help me figure out how not to be a huge evil baby while I taste the many acrid flavors of the jealousy rainbow. [more inside]
posted by bugperson on Feb 26, 2016 - 131 answers

Folding without breaking: define long-term relationship compatibility?

Help me define long-term relationship compatibility. How do /you/ define it, or, what do /you/ think compatibility is all about? [more inside]
posted by dubhemerak3000 on Feb 25, 2016 - 23 answers

Is this Ok, Cupid?

Hello, hivemind. Please use my personal website link on my MeFi user page to see my OkCupid profile. I would really appreciate any advice or criticisms! [more inside]
posted by I'm Only Happy When It Rains On Your Wedding Day on Feb 25, 2016 - 29 answers

What's the skinny on spliffs?

A friend of mine, who is someone I might potentially want to date, rolls and smokes a spliff every day before going to bed (and occasionally up to 3 or so on special occasions). I don't know anyone else who smokes this way, and I'd like to learn more about the effects of this kind of smoking, both because I have been joining in when I am with my friend, and because I want to know what I'm getting into if I try to date this person. Specific questions inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 23, 2016 - 18 answers

What do I do with this relationship?

I met this guy several years ago. We had a fantastic friendship, which was temporarily torpedoed by a failed attempt to make it romantic. We are now friends again, on a long distance basis, but I am worried that his attitude is shifting and he may want to give the couple option another try. Should I say or do something? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 22, 2016 - 18 answers

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