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Cross-cultural romance - how do I understand the family stuff?

I'm an ex-pat (Western, female) in a culture that is not like my own. I've fallen in love, but I don't know how to process the family dynamics. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2014 - 24 answers

OKC Profilefilter, Part n+1

I've just gotten back on OKC after a year away. Let's critique my profile! [more inside]
posted by Maecenas on Apr 10, 2014 - 44 answers

Describe going from "date" to "relationship"

I'm a guy in his thirties who has never been in a romantic relationship. I've been dating through OKCupid for a while, without too much success, and I think one of the reasons is that I just don't have a model of how you go from "first date" to "exclusive relationship involving emotional commitment". Hollywood love stories are no help, and I have no real-life experience, even at second hand, of how this tends to happen. I think it would help me to read some concrete descriptions of various paths this transition can take. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 9, 2014 - 14 answers

He's just definitely that into you

What does healthy requited love look like? How do I know if a person Likes Me Back? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Apr 9, 2014 - 31 answers

I think I like-like him.

Are we friends? Are we dating? How do I find out without ruining everything? [more inside]
posted by quincunx on Apr 9, 2014 - 28 answers

I suppose we should go on a... date?

Boy meets Girl. Then Boy does, what exactly? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2014 - 12 answers

Again with the OKCupid nonsense

I'm back on OKCupid after some time spent getting my head on straight (well, bi I guess). I'd like some third party advice on my profile. Friends are ok, but they're too nice to be really helpful. [more inside]
posted by showbiz_liz on Mar 31, 2014 - 52 answers

Followed Ask Metafilter advice, asked a girl out, now what's going on?

Hi everyone, about a month ago, I asked metafilter whether this girls likes me and whether we were going on a date. I followed everyone's advice and straight up asked her on a date, but now I'm not sure what's going on. Sorry for the wall of text, but I'd like to give you all the details of what happened. Please be aware that this is from my perspective. [more inside]
posted by Thisispiggy on Mar 30, 2014 - 26 answers

Another OkCupid profile review

Link to my OKCupid profile. I've rewritten my profile a number of times, but I'm still not that satisfied with the result. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to improve it? I'm mainly looking for casual dating, but I wouldn't rule out anything serious
posted by casebash on Mar 28, 2014 - 41 answers

Another OKCupid Profile Critique

I need some assistance in updating my okcupid profile. [more inside]
posted by cinemafiend on Mar 26, 2014 - 26 answers

Another "should I stay or should I go?" question

Should I move to the other side of the world? Snowflake situation inside, of course. [more inside]
posted by sunflower16 on Mar 25, 2014 - 37 answers

Am I un-datable without a smart phone?

No, seriously. Should I buy an iPhone just to get on Tindr. And yes, I'm that desperate. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2014 - 24 answers

How do I get the whole dating an old flame thing right?

Hi! After being in a really bad relationship for three years, I broke free before christmas. Over the last year I have sort of been texting with and old flame I datet 4 years ago. It was very intense for 3 months, but then it crashed and burned. She got single before christmas as well after being with a guy for three years. I`m 28. She`s 25. [more inside]
posted by silvershadow on Mar 23, 2014 - 13 answers

How is chammistry formed?

Do you have any tips on how to behave on early dates to increase romantic chemistry? [more inside]
posted by Mr C on Mar 19, 2014 - 29 answers

What to do when women simply don't find you sexy?

I've never had too much of a problem finding a date - usually online - because I look really good on paper, have my shit together, and am pretty good at being outgoing and breaking the ice and all without being a total creep like a lot of people seem to have issues with. But a disturbing trend is starting to take place. I'll be dating a girl, everything will be going good, conversations flowing, jokes hitting, etc etc... and then she'll start to yawn. The date will go on and she'll never give me that playful touch on the arm. When it's over, she'll go in for the hug instead of the kiss. And I try not to look into it, but after 2 or 3 dates pass and we've progressed normally they'll tell me that they just aren't interested. It got so frustrating I asked the last girl to not spare my feelings and let me have it - she told me I don't turn her on. The remains of my shattered ego will be regurgitated inside... [more inside]
posted by johnpoe50 on Mar 16, 2014 - 70 answers

Should I do online dating? (22 year-old female)

I'm 22 years old. I have never had a boyfriend and have never been on a date. Currently I'm finishing up my undergrad and will be entering a Master program in the Fall. I think I'm fairly attractive and I do not have a super high standard. At my college, I do socialize and have a lot of friends but for some reasons, I don't know many guys and the ones I know are either already in a relationship or just not interested in me. I've thought about online dating but I don't know if I'm too young for it, if my inexperience would put me in dangerous situations, etc. I've thought about joining paid sites such as match.com or eharmony.com because I thought maybe guys are more serious on those sites. However, I am still a student and my budget is limited. I'd greatly appreciate any advice anyone has for me.
posted by missybitsy on Mar 12, 2014 - 18 answers

Help me not be Silda Spitzer

Met a guy, been dating him, it turns out (I think) he has a hidden life of promiscuity. Help me figure out what to do next. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 12, 2014 - 27 answers

Light date ideas near grand central?

First date in NYC, near grand central and the Bryant park area, weekend afternoon. Likes: animals, theatre, the arts, books. Fun and interactive things would be especially welcome. Suggestions?
posted by raspberry jam and clothes iron on Mar 12, 2014 - 7 answers

Books like The Game, except completely different in every way

A male friend of mine has recently learned that he's not as good at dating women as he thought he was, and wants to get better. Where can I point him for sex and relationship advice, addressed to men, but written from a feminist perspective? [more inside]
posted by psycheslamp on Mar 11, 2014 - 7 answers

Developing feelings for a 'friend' - did I do bad?

I started a postgraduate course 3 months ago and there was a girl who stood out a fair bit. There were various issues that stopped me from considering dating her so I went down the friend route. She seemed interested in me at first - we ended up being alone together twice on nights out with others from the class, walking around London and the river, but I, not interested in any kind of intimacy, kept these meetings platonic. It's only recently that I've gotten myself together mentally, gotten to know her better and decided I like what I see - am I too late? What should I do to move from a new friendship back to that stage of 'initial attraction'? [more inside]
posted by Henners91 on Mar 11, 2014 - 14 answers

What exactly IS confidence?

I'm a 27 year old woman who is chronically unlucky in love. Everyone says the secret ingredient to meeting that special someone is confidence, but what exactly IS confidence in this context? Asking my girlfriends seems to have elicited two definitions, being confident enough to flirt and be 'emotionally available', and being the kind of confident where you're a fabulous conversationalist and everyone wants to talk to you. I can do the latter, but the former I have issues with... [more inside]
posted by litereally on Mar 10, 2014 - 24 answers

"Am I too wacky?" - another OkCupid profile review

Loads of "hooks", as received wisdom says is the right thing to do - but does it make me sound undateably wilfully eccentric? Profile here. Any and all feedback welcome, whether it's related to my suspected issues with the profile or not. [more inside]
posted by Junebug79 on Mar 9, 2014 - 45 answers

How important is height disparity to short guys?

Does size---especially height---matter to guys? [more inside]
posted by 1270AEH on Mar 6, 2014 - 36 answers

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, UFOs, human pair bonding?

Is talking early on in a relationship about "not believing in monogamy" a huge red flag? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 5, 2014 - 60 answers

I don't know what I want, but it shouldn't be this hard

Dating this new guy is crazymaking. I can't figure out if there's genuine interest, if I'm being strung along, or if it's my own anxiety tying me up in knots. Please help! [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Mar 3, 2014 - 25 answers

How to take online dating slowly?

I'm a bisexual woman in my 20s, and I started online dating in January. I moved to a new country so I am totally content with meeting new people and learning more about the city through them. I also really enjoy just talking to new people in general without any expectations, but I wonder if can do something better so I can actually have something romantic? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 2, 2014 - 6 answers

Should I bother pursing this?

Your typical should I ask him out question. Complicating factors: colleagues, large age gap and two people who work too much. [more inside]
posted by norwegian wood on Feb 24, 2014 - 18 answers

Parents hate my boyfriend...How should I talk to them?

I have dated someone on and off for over a year, we have learned a lot about each other and have unfortunatly been through some ups and downs. We see each other coming out stronger than ever and working through everything but it is taking some time...I am fighting for this because I know what we have is special and what he provides me is what I have been looking for. [more inside]
posted by BrandNewMe on Feb 24, 2014 - 25 answers

He likes me... or he likes me as a friend...

I met a guy recently and interact with him in a school and social context. How do I figure out if he wants to date me, or is just happy to have a new friend in an area he recently moved to? [more inside]
posted by Chaussette Fantoche on Feb 20, 2014 - 13 answers

What should a lady write to get a date?

Men of Mefi who have ever messaged a lady on OkCupid, what specifically made you want to message her, in her profile? [more inside]
posted by stockpuppet on Feb 18, 2014 - 29 answers

Given £5k, how do I get a girlfriend?

I'm rapidly approaching 30 and I've never had a girlfriend. It's going to be a good year in career terms and I should be getting a nice wodge of cash in the next couple of weeks. I really don't want to be alone any more and this is a resource that I have, so how should I use it? I'm short (5ft 8) and a little tubby so maybe a personal trainer and a wardrobe refresh? Or perhaps therapy/counselling is the way to go? Should I be doing cookery or dance classes to make myself a more attractive, well-rounded person? How about a dating coach? What do you think?
posted by anonymous on Feb 16, 2014 - 39 answers

How does someone with staqe 4 cancer find The One?

I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in October at age 44. I'm single and as I always have, want someone solid and good in my life, but am concerned that my terminal diagnosis would make any rational, loving man I meet run for the hills. I'm still learning how to live with this disease and have no idea how to approach my status with someone new in my life without scaring the shit out of them. MeFi community, would you be my Valentine tonight and hope me that yes, it's possible that I could find someone to spend the rest of my life with, no matter how long or short a period that might be? [more inside]
posted by deliciae on Feb 14, 2014 - 18 answers

I love it when you...don't do that.

What is an effective way to speak to a new partner about bettering their ability to perform cunnilingus? [more inside]
posted by anonymoosemoosemoose on Feb 14, 2014 - 19 answers

Non-student Non-professor Attraction

As a late 20s non-student, how do I proceed with my attraction to my late 20s non-professor? Please share your perspective and experiences. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2014 - 23 answers

I need to move to LA in March, but do you want to get a drink?

I've been very busy with a work-at-home project for the past 4 months and I'd like to get out of the house. I'm in Minneapolis but moving to California mid March. A number of women have contacted me on OK Cupid over the past week. They seem great, and I would like to ask them out to dinner or a drink. I do want to maximize my chance of going out, but also feel like springing that info mid-date will ruin the vibe. Should I tell them I am moving before meeting up in person? [more inside]
posted by BabeTheBlueOX on Feb 7, 2014 - 14 answers

Should I continue to date an egregiously bad tipper?

On our third date, a seemingly great guy didn't tip at all on the bill at a fancy-ish restaurant, despite the fact that we received special treatment from my friend who works there (who was not our server). Question part 1: is this a deal breaker? Question part 2: should I contact my friend to apologize on the guy's behalf? [more inside]
posted by tomorrow on Feb 7, 2014 - 165 answers

How even does one "take it slow" in a relationship? Teach me!

I broke off a long-term relationship recently, and I want that to not screw it up with a new guy I'm super excited about! [more inside]
posted by internet of pillows on Feb 4, 2014 - 12 answers

Guys: Is nervousness in a girl always a turn-off?

Sometimes I just feel so awkward when I meet a seemingly eligible, nice guy. I feel certain that it is obvious that I am nervous and then I start feeling self-conscious about my nervousness. I feel like there is a stereotype of the sort of sweetly nervous, somewhat awkward nice guy that girls may like because his sweet, nice, nervousness means he is a nice guy who likes you. Does this go the other way at all? [more inside]
posted by thesnowyslaps on Feb 2, 2014 - 24 answers

Getting out of friend zone

There's this one girl friend that I have. We started out as friends and I thought she was cute and I had a slight interest in her. However since we were in different majors and I studied abroad, I haven't seen her in over a year with no contacts. Today, I just met her after not seeing her for a long time and we had lunch. However, I felt attracted to her and I was wondering whether I should give it a go and ask her out. I still think she sees me as a friend judging by the text conversation before we went out for lunch. What do you guys think I should do? Is it worth it?
posted by soul24rage on Feb 1, 2014 - 22 answers

Dating while depressed?

Due to various life happenings, I am not in a great place mindset-wise and have more than a tinge of depression. I am also more than ever rather lonely, and would like a partner. I worry that subconsciously I am looking for someone to help "fix" and take care of me during this depression, which is not the best reason to date and would be unfair to whatever partner I might find. Then again, this loneliness could very well be contributing to my depression. Would it be a bad idea to date under these circumstances? Has anyone dated while depressed with positive results? Or should I wait until I am in a better frame of mind to search for a partner?
posted by CottonCandyCapers on Jan 29, 2014 - 14 answers

Dating with PTSD - And Tell Me Cutting Off This "Friend" Was Right

I've got PTSD and am socially isolated in graduate school. I met a hot guy, and had to friend-dump him because he's in a long distance relationship. Tell me I did this right! [more inside]
posted by cheberet on Jan 28, 2014 - 21 answers

Grief and a brand-new long-distance relationship

I am in a brand-new long-distance relationship with a guy I really care for. He recently experienced the death of a friend, and since this happened a week ago he has been essentially non-communicative with me. He sent me one generic text at a strange hour a week ago (along the lines of "busy week, really tired") and other than that it's been silence. Should, and how, can I support him during this time? Help me make sense of his behavior and to gauge what my response should be. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 21, 2014 - 38 answers

Unsure about thus relationship cycle

I'm caught in a casual, hot and cold relationship with a person I fell in love with years ago. I can't tell anymore what is normal relationship behavior. I'm a female in my 20's, involved with a person in his 40's. We have similar sensibilities and get along great but then he goes cold. He always let's me decide if I want to stay or not. Everytime I leave, I end up coming back because I miss him and I'm greeted with enthusiasm. He's a sweetheart and never acted aggressively towards me which leaves me confused. 'Cause he'll go out of his way to help me with anything I need and once I get comfortable and thankful, he grows cold. He never saw us as "dating" even though we were plus the issues of him getting over an ex. I can be a bit of a people pleaser at times but I always abide by the rule of if you don't want to be with someone and they have strong feelings for you, you cease contact. He doesn't do this and I'm confused. I feel like a puppet. I don't know what's going on in his head. I don't even know if it's abusive or not. I have been in an abusive relationship and this doesn't mirror it so I'm having a tough time processing what's going on. Please help.
posted by InterestedInKnowing on Jan 21, 2014 - 17 answers

How to Get Better at Speed Dating

I've done speed dating before, with little to no success. I know the entire thing is very much a crapshoot, but are there any ways to make the most of it and potentially get a match? [more inside]
posted by Puck Soppet on Jan 20, 2014 - 15 answers

Is it ever a good idea to date your ex?

How do you know if it's a good idea to date your ex? Is it just NEVER a good idea, as is the commonly accepted wisdom? Or can it work out sometimes? Should I give it another go? [more inside]
posted by quincunx on Jan 19, 2014 - 19 answers

I turned him down. So why do I keep thinking about him?

I met someone online. Had a great date with him, but ultimately decided not to pursue things with him. So why can't I get him out of my head? And should I try again with him? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 18, 2014 - 21 answers

How to deal with a breakup when your girlfriend leaves you?

How to deal with a break up when your girlfriend breaks up after 9 months? [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Jan 14, 2014 - 11 answers

Help me make date #2 less platonic

Met a girl for a first date, liked her a lot, am asking her on a second date. I don't know how to cross the boundary between platonic chitchat and flirting/kissing/etc. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 14, 2014 - 34 answers

It's been a long, long time coming...

My relationship is great, with one small problem - no matter what my girlfriend and I try, I'm not having an orgasm. Oversharing details inside... [more inside]
posted by Ed The Sock on Jan 12, 2014 - 30 answers

Friday night, at the high school basketball game.

I am a young, single teacher and my whole life is consumed by school. How do I survive this and not end up lonely forever? [more inside]
posted by sockysocksock on Jan 10, 2014 - 10 answers

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