2186 posts tagged with dating.
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A look of mild panic exit strategies

Inspired by this, I'd love some advice about how to exit* from unpleasant or unpromising dates. [more inside]
posted by mcduff on Jul 7, 2015 - 19 answers

Can I change my workaholic boyfriend?

Should I bother continuing to date a workaholic in his forties who barely has time for me, let alone for a hypothetical future family? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Jul 4, 2015 - 36 answers

How can I communicate about intimacy issues?

I've been actively dating and having intimate encounters, but it's hard for me to address my sexual limitations and lack of experience with new partners. How to deal? [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Jul 2, 2015 - 13 answers

How to meet guys while gay and trans

I am ftm trans and while I am not on hormones & have not had surgery, I still pass a decent amount of the time. Sometimes I get long, cruising looks from guys who I am sure are gay (on the street, in a mall). I have no idea how to move forward in these situations; porn is my entire frame of reference and I'm sure it's not that simple. How do guys meet guys in public? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on Jul 2, 2015 - 6 answers

Is it normal for someone to stop texting after a first date is set up?

This guy I met online has been texting me for the past few days and we sometimes would text back and forth for several hours but we haven't talked on the phone yet. Two days ago, we decided to meet up at the park but ended up cancelling it because of bad weather. We rescheduled the date to another day. Since then, I noticed him stop initiating convo with me and ignoring some of my texts unless I ask him a question. I'm confused as to whether or not he's still interested in me or if he's trying to take a break until the date? Has anyone been through this before? [more inside]
posted by missybitsy on Jul 1, 2015 - 16 answers

parents hated my boyfriend, but love my sister's boyfriend

My parents didn't accept my boyfriend for about six of the seven years that we've been dating due to his physical disability. Now my younger sister has a new boyfriend whom my parents wholly and happily accept, and as childish as this is, this is bringing up all sorts of unpleasant feelings. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2015 - 9 answers

Please assure me my Tinder is malfunctioning

I recently started using Tinder again after not using it for about nine months. In a week of use, I've only had one match - and that on the first day. Last year, not to brag, I would have had upwards of 50 by this time. My ego is mortally wounded. [more inside]
posted by pot suppeck on Jun 25, 2015 - 5 answers

First time woes...

Short version: I had sex for the first time with someone I thought I really liked, but it didn't quite go the way I expected it to and now I'm completely panicking about it. Long version inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2015 - 12 answers

How to keep the one your with

I'm curious to know your stories, or what it is that keeps you happy in the relationship you are in? Also is it possible to grow in love with a person when you are in a happy relationship? Before I confused love with infatuation and I don't want to go through that again! [more inside]
posted by red47Apple on Jun 20, 2015 - 11 answers

Go through with this first date or not even bother...?

While dating online I am planning on meeting a man tomorrow for a first date. He proposes his city. At the same time I am trying actively to progress in making better choices in men, being assertive, trusting my gut, realistically doubting myself, and am afraid of being too negative ("cutting off my head because of a toothache", or an English equivalent). [more inside]
posted by Dutchmeisje on Jun 20, 2015 - 17 answers

Breakup in Same Social Circle

My girlfriend (26) broke up with me (33) out of the blue last week. To add to this, we share the same tight social circle that meets multiple times per week for different outings. I have been keeping my distance from the group so far. While I don't want to lose touch with this circle of friends, I also feel that seeing her would add to my pain and discomfort. Has anyone been in a similar situation and how did you handle it?
posted by QuietType on Jun 20, 2015 - 11 answers

How much of an explanation do I owe this guy after one date?

I went out with a guy from OKCupid who seemed awkward but raised no huge red flags. Less than a week later, he got weird and I'm no longer interested. Do I need to tell him this? [more inside]
posted by intheigloo on Jun 20, 2015 - 21 answers

Why did he not respond after our first date and what should I do?

I went on a first date with a guy I met on a dating website, we got on really well and I thought everything was great. I haven't heard from him since and now I am struggling to stop thinking about him. Any help on what I should do? [more inside]
posted by artystar on Jun 17, 2015 - 32 answers

Dating confusion

Please help me sort out a new-ish dating situation. [more inside]
posted by young sister beacon on Jun 16, 2015 - 31 answers

Can People Change?

I'm with a guy who's not romantic at all and I can't stand it. He says he can change, but is that even possible? [more inside]
posted by lhude sing cuccu on Jun 15, 2015 - 21 answers

How do I find out my boyfriend's secret desires?

I'm afraid of boring my boyfriend in bed. He's a decade older and has had quite a few relationships in his past. I can't imagine he's as vanilla as he professes to be--I'm willing to do ANYTHING, and he wants missionary every time. Does he view me as too innocent for anything else? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Jun 15, 2015 - 29 answers

Relationship Anxiety

I am dating someone in my social circle who I've know for around 8 months. We've been dating for the last 2 months. I think she's great...smart, funny, attractive. We get along well and there is lots of chemistry. I'm happy that I've been able to find someone. Being in a relationship has brought some of my insecurities to the surface. Specifically, there's a couple areas where I could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by QuietType on Jun 10, 2015 - 18 answers

Should I go on a second date with a guy I'm not physically attracted to?

I just went on a first date with a guy I met online. He's funny, sweet, and nice. He paid for my drink and did not make me feel uncomfortable at all. We talked for about 2 hours and we seemed to have some common interests. I could sense that he's into me because at the end of the date, he asked me if he could see me again soon. I told him I'd have to see when I can because I have a busy week ahead. [more inside]
posted by missybitsy on Jun 7, 2015 - 26 answers

My wonderful Mr. Right sucks in bed and I don't know how to tell him

I am in love with my wonderful boyfriend of 3 months. The only problem is that he doesn't seem to care that I am not having ANY orgasms with him, he's not into oral sex (the only thing that has worked for me in the past), he's not into foreplay, he barely kisses me, and he doesn't even realize that I'm unhappy because I am too wimpy and unassertive to voice a word of complaint. He's a very macho "alpha male" old-fashioned chivalrous type and I am afraid to emasculate him by giving him directions in the bedroom or telling him that I'm not satisfied. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2015 - 55 answers

Do I just let it go?

A good friend who I have had an on and off relationship recently started dating someone else (who she met through me!) and I'm having a lot of complicated feelings about it. [more inside]
posted by pando11 on Jun 1, 2015 - 11 answers

Addressing non-dealbreaker behavior in relationships

I've had issues with being assertive about my needs in past relationships, and while I've gotten a lot better, I still have trouble deciding when and how it's best to bring up things that I don't like but are not dealbreakers. I'd like help thinking this through. [more inside]
posted by deus ex machina on May 31, 2015 - 7 answers

How do I meet men now?

I'm a straight, overweight but otherwise generally considered attractive, woman in her early 40's. I got out of a LTR a year and a half ago. I am more than ready to date, but having major problems finding anyone interested :( [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2015 - 25 answers

Not that into someone vs general relationship anxiety

I am trying to sort out my feelings. I can't tell if I am abandoning possible relationships because I am not used to being out of my comfort zone or if I am just not that interested in someone. How do I figure this out? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on May 26, 2015 - 13 answers

Is dating for men easier in SF or NYC?

I'm a 30-year-old straight single guy, debating a move to either NYC or SF. Singledom has been getting tiresome (after 6+ months), and I'd be interested in knowing whether dating would be substantially better or easier in one or the other city. I'm a slightly nerdy (but by no-means super-geeky) and fairly athletic/outdoorsy highly-educated professional. In either city, I'd be living in or near the urban center. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2015 - 14 answers

Dating someone for their character vs physical attraction?

How to convince oneself to make the right choice [more inside]
posted by winterportage on May 24, 2015 - 32 answers

Should I believe a 40+ man who says he doesn't believe in marriage?

I've been dating a never-married man in his early 40s for the past few months. (I'm a decade younger.) Last night he casually mentioned that he never wants to get married and would be fine with raising kids without marriage -- just as HE was raised, as the only child of an unmarried mother. I am devastated because I am falling in love with him but cannot accept this commitment-free future. Should I get out now or endeavor to change his mind down the road? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on May 23, 2015 - 60 answers

Mixed signals from a guy - Is he still interested in me?

A couple of months ago, I met this guy (22 yo) through a mutual friend at a dinner party. Let's call him Josh. We seemed to click well. He didn't ask for my number but he added me on Facebook and started messaging me everyday for about 2 weeks. At the time, he was living in a different city so he didn't ask me out but he did suggest that I should come hang out with him and the mutual friend again. Our convo was mostly about school (nothing flirtatious). I sensed that he ended the convo because we ran out of things to talk about. [more inside]
posted by missybitsy on May 18, 2015 - 16 answers

Dating in New York City, places to go, things to see and do

Sometimes people invite me on a first or second date and then insist that I suggest a place to go or a thing to do. What are some fun/interesting/free/inexpensive things to do in Brooklyn and Manhattan south of ...say the 70s east or west side? Budget conscious is important because the concept of "who invited" gets murky in this situation, and I make sure to always be prepared to pay for anything I have suggested. So pizza suggestions are good. Steaks are not. [more inside]
posted by tulip-socks on May 17, 2015 - 11 answers

As an introvert, I struggle to meet women outside of work

I cannot seem to meet interesting women outside of work because I either scare the holy daylights out of them with my silhipence, my sexuality (I identify as a mild sado and naturally am very dominant), or my intensity. Help? [more inside]
posted by thebotanyofsouls on May 16, 2015 - 86 answers

Am I Too Fast Or Is He Too Slow? Or Both or Neither?

I recently met a man I dig, but I feel like he's being cryptic about his life. I'm not sure if I'm expecting him to open up too fast or if he is being too slow. Either way, do I cut my losses or wait and see? [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on May 14, 2015 - 21 answers

Am I over-reacting?

I met up with this guy from OkCupid two weeks ago, and he seemed really charming. We've met up around three times to do various activity-oriented things in the city. He's done a few things to set off my alarm bells, and I'm not sure it's safe to see him anymore. At the same time, maybe these things are no big deal. Details inside [more inside]
posted by MFZ on May 13, 2015 - 79 answers

Dating storm in a teacup

A friend of mine just asked me about a guy I had a long weekend visit with; seeing us together one evening, she assumed he was very into me and that I was totally uninterested. That was really not the case, but it might shed light on why he has been fading since he left (I kind of hope it does!). Can you help me make sense of this (and myself)? [more inside]
posted by laceysocks on May 13, 2015 - 12 answers

Help me ask a woman out. Easy, right?

I need help asking a woman out for the first time since the "opening" of my marriage. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 13, 2015 - 18 answers

Move to a city I'm not crazy about for better dating prospects?

I love New York and I'm not thrilled about my prospective new city, but I'm wondering if it would be worth a move if it resulted in better dating prospects. [more inside]
posted by whitelily on May 10, 2015 - 45 answers

Am I judgemental for not dating people who smoke/drink/do pot?

I have friends who smoke, drink, and do weed/light drugs. I don't think anything of it (at least consciously) and I wouldn't prefer them to stop or anything. But suddenly, when it comes to people I date, I get so turned off when I hear that they smoke, drink, do pot, or light drugs like LSD. I like my friends but I would never date them. There's just some things I don't mind or even prefer in friends that I wouldn't want in a potential "other half". I have friends who have fuckbuddies and I think it's funny/awesome/empowering for example, but when it come to someone I would do myself, I wouldn't touch such people with a ten foot pole. [more inside]
posted by Sades on May 8, 2015 - 57 answers

Why is this man who is totally out of my league pursuing me?

I dumped a guy who's totally out of my league. Now he is chasing me like there's no tomorrow. Why? And will it last? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2015 - 67 answers

What should I keep in my home for overnight guests?

Suppose you're a woman, and you're staying over at a guy's place for the first time. What sorts of personal essentials/amenities/etc. would you like to see in his home? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 29, 2015 - 98 answers

Was he interested or not?

An older guy flirted with me at work. I finally got a chance to give him my number but it's been awhile and he hasn't called. I'm VERY confused. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by divina_y_humilde on Apr 26, 2015 - 17 answers

Dating dilemma: Should I text this guy again or is it done?

I've gone out a few times with a friend of a friend. Although initially he texted me a lot, he's stopped and I want to know if I should text him (again). My minimal dating experience and social anxiety are making it difficult for me to decide what to do. Way more detail inside. [more inside]
posted by peppermintchaya on Apr 23, 2015 - 28 answers

Can I use a fake photo for online dating?

I had a stalker years back and I was only able to shake them off by going virtually off grid. I had to stop dating online (because that's how he found me one of the times) and eventually I had to change my name, my home and my job and severe contacts with people I knew for years to get away from them. I would like to try online dating again, but this time maybe with a photo of someone with similar traits to mine, but not my real photo. [more inside]
posted by rancher on Apr 22, 2015 - 33 answers

Thwarting loneliness in times of trial

How can I cope with the fact that I will likely be single for the next several years? [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Apr 18, 2015 - 21 answers

How do I communicate better when I'm about to, erm, get my freak on?

Exactly as it says on the tin. How do, without faking it, I be more upfront about my dating/sexual inexperience with my potential partners, and when? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2015 - 21 answers

should I feel like shit? cause I kinda feel like shit.

I am new(ish) to dating. I went on a couple of dates(?) with one person, and with another person a platonic meeting turned romantic and now I feel really guilty. Can I get some goddamn perspective, please? (other stupid complications within, obvsly. Just look what website we're on.) [more inside]
posted by FirstMateKate on Apr 9, 2015 - 13 answers

Big difference in age/experience on a first date and if something more.

So I am a 34 male and I knowingly asked a 19-20-21-ish-year-old on a coffee date. I mentioned the age difference to her when I did so. She said, "Sure." If we go on more dates after this date and/or become physically intimate, how can I minimize the chance that she will retrospectively feel preyed upon or taken advantage of in X years? [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Apr 6, 2015 - 99 answers

Is it ok to date/meet new people now?

I am in the process of getting a divorce. I have separated from my wife, have filed for a divorce but have not been able to serve her summons because she has been avoiding that. So, in a sense, the divorce process has not really started. Now I need to figure out when I should start dating or meeting new people again. [more inside]
posted by questionsquestions on Apr 3, 2015 - 29 answers

OK Cupid for the uninitiated

…and various other OKC questions and discomforts [more inside]
posted by miorita on Apr 3, 2015 - 18 answers

What does it look like for financial values to fundamentally change?

My SO & I are in our 30’s, have been dating over a year and have been talking about marriage. We are having a crisis over our differing financial values. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2015 - 21 answers

Hallmarks of not having "done the work"?

What are the signs of someone who hasn't pursued therapy and healing and isn't ready for a relationship? [more inside]
posted by morganw on Mar 29, 2015 - 30 answers

It's not that I mind having more friends, but...

It seems that whenever I meet a woman I really like and think I have a connection with, she can only view me as a friend. I'm generally okay with this, because their great qualities as people is what attracted me to them in the first place, and those don't change just because she's not interested in me. But when it happens over and over and over again, it does make me wonder whether there's something I'm doing wrong. Why is it I'm consistently viewed as good friend material, but not good lover material? [more inside]
posted by KantGoOn on Mar 27, 2015 - 84 answers

Should I Forget Him or is There Still Something There?

This guy I met a few months ago has been sending me some very mixed signals for a very long time and I honestly don't know what to make of it. Whenever I'm just about to write him off for ghosting on me, he re-appears and it's like nothing ever happened. Anyone have any advice or tips? [more inside]
posted by lana0112 on Mar 27, 2015 - 47 answers

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