I'm caught in a casual, hot and cold relationship with a person I fell in love with years ago. I can't tell anymore what is normal relationship behavior. I'm a female in my 20's, involved with a person in his 40's. We have similar sensibilities and get along great but then he goes cold. He always let's me decide if I want to stay or not. Everytime I leave, I end up coming back because I miss him and I'm greeted with enthusiasm. He's a sweetheart and never acted aggressively towards me which leaves me confused. 'Cause he'll go out of his way to help me with anything I need and once I get comfortable and thankful, he grows cold. He never saw us as "dating" even though we were plus the issues of him getting over an ex. I can be a bit of a people pleaser at times but I always abide by the rule of if you don't want to be with someone and they have strong feelings for you, you cease contact. He doesn't do this and I'm confused. I feel like a puppet. I don't know what's going on in his head. I don't even know if it's abusive or not. I have been in an abusive relationship and this doesn't mirror it so I'm having a tough time processing what's going on. Please help.
Still feel comfortable, happy and awkward around him. How can I stop the awkward part? [more inside]
Can someone shed light for me about the whole, hooking up with cousins? [more inside]
Do the strategies in "Why Men Love Bitches" really work? I'm almost at my wits end in the dating scene. I'm not clingy or anything of that sort but I could use a little help in self-preservation. Is there a proper way to use the tactics in the book w/o too much manipulation?