187 posts tagged with dating and sex.
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Getting body image issues out of my head: Dating while fat

So I am an intelligent, funny, kind, 30-year-old fat woman who generally has a healthy and pragmatic attitude about being fat. I felt constantly shitty about not being thin when I was younger, but whatever the wider world thinks, I know being fat doesn't mean I'm not pretty, or that I'm lazy, or whatever. But the negative self-talk, fueled by cultural narratives and negative experiences, rears it ugly head while dating sometimes. I want to get that voice out of my head. [more inside]
posted by Squalor Victoria on Oct 26, 2015 - 18 answers

I Don't Like You That Way: Love, Sex and Dating On Four Wheels

What do you do about your fear of intimacy and your lack of potential sutiors when you're a virgin at 25 and universally held to have the sexuality of a potato? [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Aug 30, 2015 - 35 answers

Going on a date. He uses a wheelchair. Help me not be an idiot.

I have a date coming up with a man who uses a wheelchair. He is super funny and smart and super hot. I have never dated someone who uses a wheelchair. In fact, I've never even known someone who uses a wheelchair. Help me not screw it up! [more inside]
posted by dinnerdance on Aug 15, 2015 - 29 answers

Navigating the tricky waters of an ever-changing dating status tide.

Dear Mefites, this is my first question! I'm excited to hear from the community i've been reading since forever. Here's an issue I'm facing that's bothering me: someone i'm seeing has a some-what change of heart/mind towards me in terms of how he envisions our future/potential. I've been confused from the beginning as it started sexually quickly, then to possibly serious, to suddenly somewhat possibly just casual now. Grateful if any of you could advise me on what you observe his character/behavior/mindset to be, from the descriptions that I will best try to relate. Please excuse the extremely long post. [more inside]
posted by eustaciavye87 on Aug 3, 2015 - 17 answers

How can I communicate about intimacy issues?

I've been actively dating and having intimate encounters, but it's hard for me to address my sexual limitations and lack of experience with new partners. How to deal? [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Jul 2, 2015 - 13 answers

How to meet guys while gay and trans

I am ftm trans and while I am not on hormones & have not had surgery, I still pass a decent amount of the time. Sometimes I get long, cruising looks from guys who I am sure are gay (on the street, in a mall). I have no idea how to move forward in these situations; porn is my entire frame of reference and I'm sure it's not that simple. How do guys meet guys in public? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on Jul 2, 2015 - 6 answers

First time woes...

Short version: I had sex for the first time with someone I thought I really liked, but it didn't quite go the way I expected it to and now I'm completely panicking about it. Long version inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2015 - 12 answers

How do I find out my boyfriend's secret desires?

I'm afraid of boring my boyfriend in bed. He's a decade older and has had quite a few relationships in his past. I can't imagine he's as vanilla as he professes to be--I'm willing to do ANYTHING, and he wants missionary every time. Does he view me as too innocent for anything else? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Jun 15, 2015 - 29 answers

My wonderful Mr. Right sucks in bed and I don't know how to tell him

I am in love with my wonderful boyfriend of 3 months. The only problem is that he doesn't seem to care that I am not having ANY orgasms with him, he's not into oral sex (the only thing that has worked for me in the past), he's not into foreplay, he barely kisses me, and he doesn't even realize that I'm unhappy because I am too wimpy and unassertive to voice a word of complaint. He's a very macho "alpha male" old-fashioned chivalrous type and I am afraid to emasculate him by giving him directions in the bedroom or telling him that I'm not satisfied. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2015 - 55 answers

How do I meet men now?

I'm a straight, overweight but otherwise generally considered attractive, woman in her early 40's. I got out of a LTR a year and a half ago. I am more than ready to date, but having major problems finding anyone interested :( [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2015 - 25 answers

How do I communicate better when I'm about to, erm, get my freak on?

Exactly as it says on the tin. How do, without faking it, I be more upfront about my dating/sexual inexperience with my potential partners, and when? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2015 - 21 answers

Big difference in age/experience on a first date and if something more.

So I am a 34 male and I knowingly asked a 19-20-21-ish-year-old on a coffee date. I mentioned the age difference to her when I did so. She said, "Sure." If we go on more dates after this date and/or become physically intimate, how can I minimize the chance that she will retrospectively feel preyed upon or taken advantage of in X years? [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Apr 6, 2015 - 99 answers

Great connection, terrible sex

I asked a friend on a date recently. The date went really, really well, until we tried to have sex. Now I'm not sure if I should try again, or see if I can get out and save the friendship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2015 - 25 answers

How do I do casual sex?

I'm trying to loosen up, have fun, and gain more sexual experience; however, I tend to be a bit emotional. By the same token I also tend to feel tied down sometimes in serious relationships and I want to "look around" more before deciding to be in a serious relationship. Looking for ideas on how to balance that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2015 - 20 answers

Is this guy interested in dating or just hooking up?

I met this 20-something guy through a mutual friend at a party and we've been texting each other for the past week. He insisted that we should go out drinking sometimes. When I talked to the mutual friend about him, she said that he thinks I'm cute, but she also mentioned that he admitted he had slept with at least 6 girls, of which only 1 was a serious girlfriend. Is there a good odd that he's only into me for sex? How can I tell? I'm at the point in my life where I want a serious relationship, and I'm not sure if I should give this guy a chance. Thanks for your help!
posted by missybitsy on Feb 3, 2015 - 22 answers

Scared of attraction.

29 year old heterosexual male. I believe that I have social anxiety when it comes to talking to women I am attracted to - perhaps more than normal. This has meant very little sex or relationships throughout my life. Practical ideas for dealing with this would be appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2015 - 18 answers

Post-coital repulsion

I use sex-related words in my question, so I've placed it in the extended area in case anyone is browsing at a prudish workplace. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2014 - 17 answers

Do sex drives ever INCREASE after 3+ years in a relationship?

My SO and I have been growing together more and more in the last three years. However, one thing seems to grow less and less, and as we move closer to thinking about marriage, I am a little concerned that our sex drives are mismatched for a very long term relationship. I am 23 and she is 21. I've heard a ton of anecdotes about women "waking up" sexually around 25. Is it realistic for me to think that that could be a possibility? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 25, 2014 - 33 answers

One night stand confusion

Does this have potential to turn into a relationship? [more inside]
posted by akita on Nov 13, 2014 - 24 answers

It's been a year and he still won't sleep with me.

I am a female and my boyfriend and I have been seeing each other about once a week for over a year. I am 27 and he is 30. I know he isn't seeing anybody else, and that he likes me. Why have we still not slept together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 2, 2014 - 50 answers

Is he a narcissist, or just very self-centred?

I've been dating a guy (30) for half a year, and though I am blinded by love, I'm starting to see signs that he could be narcissistic, but am not sure. [more inside]
posted by palomago on Aug 18, 2014 - 45 answers

How to break it off with someone you've seen, uh, once

Let's say you go on a date with someone. The date goes well, you go back to their place. Things happen...SEX things. You realize afterward that it may have been a mistake. Yeah, definitely a mistake. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2014 - 14 answers

BDSMfilter: munches, play parties, and social anxiety

How can an shy, inexperienced kinkster approach potential play partners without being too pushy or creepy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 5 answers

International dating- help me stay safe in worst case scenario

I am currently involved in a sexual/dating/subculture where international meetings are normal. Most recently, men have met me in my city and then we have planned a trip later.... And I have had a fab time with these men- they have been great fun! I am okay with meeting men for dinner in Oslo, London or Stockholm..... I have no problem hopping on a plane and meeting a man, spending a few days with him and nipping back home... but I cannot figure out how to make sure that my flight home is paid for- if something doesn't work out. Is there any way to have your flights and hotel paid for, in a way that the host can not just cancel on you if you refuse to have sex with them?
posted by misspony on Jun 4, 2014 - 27 answers

How to start an (awkward) conversation about my IUD

I had an IUD (Mirena) inserted about a month ago. I recently met someone new (yay!), he's great (yay!), and it seems that sexytimes are soon to be had (yay!). I think I need to talk with him about my IUD, though, and I don't know how. [more inside]
posted by singlesock on May 20, 2014 - 18 answers

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner?

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner? Snowflakery to follow [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2014 - 26 answers

Books like The Game, except completely different in every way

A male friend of mine has recently learned that he's not as good at dating women as he thought he was, and wants to get better. Where can I point him for sex and relationship advice, addressed to men, but written from a feminist perspective? [more inside]
posted by psycheslamp on Mar 11, 2014 - 7 answers

I love it when you...don't do that.

What is an effective way to speak to a new partner about bettering their ability to perform cunnilingus? [more inside]
posted by anonymoosemoosemoose on Feb 14, 2014 - 19 answers

It's been a long, long time coming...

My relationship is great, with one small problem - no matter what my girlfriend and I try, I'm not having an orgasm. Oversharing details inside... [more inside]
posted by Ed The Sock on Jan 12, 2014 - 30 answers

Should I tell my boyfriend about my ex who is dying?

My boyfriend (lets call him Mike) does not know about my ex boyfriend's existence (Lee). I found out his brother died a couple of months ago, and now he has the same disease and may or may not survive as well. I am quite upset about this, should I tell Mike about him or just keep it to myself? [more inside]
posted by lovisa91 on Oct 29, 2013 - 30 answers

Past abuse and trying pegging, BDSM with the new boyfriend

The new boyfriend would like me to be more switch-y (and peg him, too) and I'd like to be able to provide that to him but past abuse makes me very adverse to causing people pain even if I know they'd enjoy it and also puts me off being the penetrative partner. How do I enjoy being the dominant/penetrative partner? I love it when the BF dominates me and causes me pain (a not-insane amount and he's always very respectful of my boundaries and comfort) so how can I become more comfortable reciprocating pain to him and how can I become comfortable with being the penetrative partner? [more inside]
posted by code_n_cakes on Oct 20, 2013 - 9 answers

Need sex advice: Possible to learn to enjoy dominance/submission?

New to MeFi, so sorry if this is an odd post... I just started dating a guy - let's call him Michael - who has noted several times that he likes to be a little aggressive in the sack (and although we have not yet had sex, this became clear when we made out/fooled around recently... he was pretty man-handly/dominating, did a little dirty talking, etc.). I have next to no experience in even very mild dominance/submission stuff and honestly have never had any interest in it. I can be a good sport and do a little dirty-talking if it's going to make someone's day, but it has always felt too contrived for me to enjoy it for my own sake. And I've never tried anything beyond that. That said, I really like Michael, am very sexually attracted to him, would hate to end things with him prematurely because of an unexplored difference in our sexual styles, and, frankly, couldn't help but feel a little lame/boring/conservative if I put an end to it for that reason. So, my question: as someone who isn't naturally inclined to be interested in dominance/submission, is there a chance I could learn to like it, or is it pretty much something you like or don't? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 14, 2013 - 29 answers

When does a casual hookup turn into dating? When does it not?

I have been seeing this guy since December about once or twice a month, and am possibly on the verge of having feelings. Trying to figure out how to reasonably navigate this. Tell me about your experiences? [more inside]
posted by anonymoosemoosemoose on Aug 13, 2013 - 10 answers

Date or wait?

I'm a man in his mid-twenties. I've never been in a relationship. I've never even taken anyone out on a date. I want to rectify this, but I think my mental health and my living situation prevent me from doing so. Should I even try to date? If not, what should I do? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2013 - 35 answers

I know they're nice, but they're not for me!

I'm in an amazing relationship, with someone I've known for over two years, and we've been dating for a year-ish. We're both women in our early 20's. I've only dated women up to this point, and been very happy with that. It seems that my brain doesn't want to keep that status quo anymore and is trying to convince me I want to experience being with men. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2013 - 10 answers

Fear and Loving in NYC

Why am I not successful in love and lust? [more inside]
posted by nob'dy on Jun 5, 2013 - 35 answers

Who originally thought of this dating-related experiment?

Write the numbers 1 to 20 on a set of cards, one per card but two cards of each number, put them on the foreheads of a group of twenty men and twenty women, and give them a couple minutes to try to pair up with the person of the opposite sex with the highest-ranked card: they will always end up with someone close to their own rank. Who originally thought of this? [more inside]
posted by renovatio1 on May 20, 2013 - 7 answers

Are most guys' minds creepy (or sex sex sex? :/)

Incident report of a young woman and much older upper-middle class man. [more inside]
posted by MiuMiu on May 10, 2013 - 85 answers

Saying no?

After seeing this comment, I would like to ask: How do you say "no" to someone you do kinda want to have sex with?
posted by anonymoosemoosemoose on May 6, 2013 - 20 answers

Is it 'wrong' to snuggle without sex?

Am I leading someone on if he sleeps in my bed but not with me? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Mar 2, 2013 - 44 answers

Not-OK Cupid

I've slept with a lot of guys and only enjoyed it with like 10% of them. Are my standards too high, or too low, or what? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2013 - 21 answers

How do you navigate safe sex with new partners?

I'm getting back into dating after a long hiatus and I realized I have no idea how to protect myself from STDs without seeming like a crazy, overly-cautious prude. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 9, 2013 - 23 answers

I adore him, but find his health problems a turn off. Is there a fix?

I love him deeply, miss him terribly. He loves me more than anyone he's ever met. We go together like peas and carrots. But I broke up with him over one health problem that he can and would fix if I told him how much it bothered me. Am I nuts? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 3, 2013 - 41 answers

I'm just a gal who caint say "No" - I'm in a terribul fix

Sex and social life is all screwy. FWB, hookups, extreme libido - need help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2013 - 18 answers

What is the dating world actually like?

I have a friend who insists on a certain way of understanding how men and women couple off. Basically, he sees the situation as rather animalistic, where all the women are essentially waiting to be asked out, and the first men to do so get the "choicest" women. The rest of the women are left for, well, the rest of the men. Obviously, this is pretty traditional/sexist/chauvinistic. Anyway, barring all that, he feels a constant urgency to get to women "before somebody else does," because "the best women will be taken." Of course, I understand asking someone out before someone else does, but his theory is off-putting to me. It seems like human personalities, reasoning, circumstances, geographies, and cultures throw a monkey-wrench into his theory. Things are a lot more complicated in my mind. Do you have an alternative way of seeing the dating world, have a different experience, or are there any studies that you could point me to on this subject?
posted by uncannyslacks on Jan 23, 2013 - 38 answers

Performance anxiety - what can I do to help?

Very excited about a new guy I'm seeing. We were getting hot & heavy and he admitted to having performance anxiety issues, that he would like to go slow, and just needs to get comfortable with me. What can I do to ease his mind... & body? Slightly NSFW. [more inside]
posted by hollypolly on Jan 18, 2013 - 13 answers

Should I pursue a casual FWB relationship with this narcissistic but very intellectually interesting and sexy jerk?

Should I pursue a casual FWB relationship with this narcissistic but very intellectually interesting and sexy jerk? [more inside]
posted by tamagogirl on Dec 27, 2012 - 109 answers

getting older, horny as ever

Horny Old Man Filter: Tips for ensuring that my straight dude's libido ages gracefully. [more inside]
posted by sureshot on Dec 23, 2012 - 39 answers

How to date as a late 20s virgin?

Advice for dating as a 27 year old virgin? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 24, 2012 - 16 answers

Dealing with insecurity in the BDSM/poly life

BDSMfilter: Newbie male bottom + experienced poly top = insecurity vortex! Help! [more inside]
posted by RockPuppet on Oct 22, 2012 - 13 answers

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