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Is he a narcissist, or just very self-centred?

I've been dating a guy (30) for half a year, and though I am blinded by love, I'm starting to see signs that he could be narcissistic, but am not sure. [more inside]
posted by palomago on Aug 18, 2014 - 44 answers

How to break it off with someone you've seen, uh, once

Let's say you go on a date with someone. The date goes well, you go back to their place. Things happen...SEX things. You realize afterward that it may have been a mistake. Yeah, definitely a mistake. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2014 - 14 answers

BDSMfilter: munches, play parties, and social anxiety

How can an shy, inexperienced kinkster approach potential play partners without being too pushy or creepy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 5 answers

International dating- help me stay safe in worst case scenario

I am currently involved in a sexual/dating/subculture where international meetings are normal. Most recently, men have met me in my city and then we have planned a trip later.... And I have had a fab time with these men- they have been great fun! I am okay with meeting men for dinner in Oslo, London or Stockholm..... I have no problem hopping on a plane and meeting a man, spending a few days with him and nipping back home... but I cannot figure out how to make sure that my flight home is paid for- if something doesn't work out. Is there any way to have your flights and hotel paid for, in a way that the host can not just cancel on you if you refuse to have sex with them?
posted by misspony on Jun 4, 2014 - 27 answers

How to start an (awkward) conversation about my IUD

I had an IUD (Mirena) inserted about a month ago. I recently met someone new (yay!), he's great (yay!), and it seems that sexytimes are soon to be had (yay!). I think I need to talk with him about my IUD, though, and I don't know how. [more inside]
posted by singlesock on May 20, 2014 - 18 answers

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner?

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner? Snowflakery to follow [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2014 - 26 answers

Books like The Game, except completely different in every way

A male friend of mine has recently learned that he's not as good at dating women as he thought he was, and wants to get better. Where can I point him for sex and relationship advice, addressed to men, but written from a feminist perspective? [more inside]
posted by psycheslamp on Mar 11, 2014 - 7 answers

I love it when you...don't do that.

What is an effective way to speak to a new partner about bettering their ability to perform cunnilingus? [more inside]
posted by anonymoosemoosemoose on Feb 14, 2014 - 19 answers

It's been a long, long time coming...

My relationship is great, with one small problem - no matter what my girlfriend and I try, I'm not having an orgasm. Oversharing details inside... [more inside]
posted by Ed The Sock on Jan 12, 2014 - 30 answers

Should I tell my boyfriend about my ex who is dying?

My boyfriend (lets call him Mike) does not know about my ex boyfriend's existence (Lee). I found out his brother died a couple of months ago, and now he has the same disease and may or may not survive as well. I am quite upset about this, should I tell Mike about him or just keep it to myself? [more inside]
posted by lovisa91 on Oct 29, 2013 - 30 answers

Past abuse and trying pegging, BDSM with the new boyfriend

The new boyfriend would like me to be more switch-y (and peg him, too) and I'd like to be able to provide that to him but past abuse makes me very adverse to causing people pain even if I know they'd enjoy it and also puts me off being the penetrative partner. How do I enjoy being the dominant/penetrative partner? I love it when the BF dominates me and causes me pain (a not-insane amount and he's always very respectful of my boundaries and comfort) so how can I become more comfortable reciprocating pain to him and how can I become comfortable with being the penetrative partner? [more inside]
posted by code_n_cakes on Oct 20, 2013 - 9 answers

Need sex advice: Possible to learn to enjoy dominance/submission?

New to MeFi, so sorry if this is an odd post... I just started dating a guy - let's call him Michael - who has noted several times that he likes to be a little aggressive in the sack (and although we have not yet had sex, this became clear when we made out/fooled around recently... he was pretty man-handly/dominating, did a little dirty talking, etc.). I have next to no experience in even very mild dominance/submission stuff and honestly have never had any interest in it. I can be a good sport and do a little dirty-talking if it's going to make someone's day, but it has always felt too contrived for me to enjoy it for my own sake. And I've never tried anything beyond that. That said, I really like Michael, am very sexually attracted to him, would hate to end things with him prematurely because of an unexplored difference in our sexual styles, and, frankly, couldn't help but feel a little lame/boring/conservative if I put an end to it for that reason. So, my question: as someone who isn't naturally inclined to be interested in dominance/submission, is there a chance I could learn to like it, or is it pretty much something you like or don't? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 14, 2013 - 29 answers

When does a casual hookup turn into dating? When does it not?

I have been seeing this guy since December about once or twice a month, and am possibly on the verge of having feelings. Trying to figure out how to reasonably navigate this. Tell me about your experiences? [more inside]
posted by anonymoosemoosemoose on Aug 13, 2013 - 9 answers

Date or wait?

I'm a man in his mid-twenties. I've never been in a relationship. I've never even taken anyone out on a date. I want to rectify this, but I think my mental health and my living situation prevent me from doing so. Should I even try to date? If not, what should I do? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2013 - 35 answers

I know they're nice, but they're not for me!

I'm in an amazing relationship, with someone I've known for over two years, and we've been dating for a year-ish. We're both women in our early 20's. I've only dated women up to this point, and been very happy with that. It seems that my brain doesn't want to keep that status quo anymore and is trying to convince me I want to experience being with men. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2013 - 10 answers

Fear and Loving in NYC

Why am I not successful in love and lust? [more inside]
posted by nob'dy on Jun 5, 2013 - 35 answers

Who originally thought of this dating-related experiment?

Write the numbers 1 to 20 on a set of cards, one per card but two cards of each number, put them on the foreheads of a group of twenty men and twenty women, and give them a couple minutes to try to pair up with the person of the opposite sex with the highest-ranked card: they will always end up with someone close to their own rank. Who originally thought of this? [more inside]
posted by renovatio1 on May 20, 2013 - 7 answers

Are most guys' minds creepy (or sex sex sex? :/)

Incident report of a young woman and much older upper-middle class man. [more inside]
posted by MiuMiu on May 10, 2013 - 85 answers

Saying no?

After seeing this comment, I would like to ask: How do you say "no" to someone you do kinda want to have sex with?
posted by anonymoosemoosemoose on May 6, 2013 - 20 answers

Is it 'wrong' to snuggle without sex?

Am I leading someone on if he sleeps in my bed but not with me? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Mar 2, 2013 - 44 answers

Not-OK Cupid

I've slept with a lot of guys and only enjoyed it with like 10% of them. Are my standards too high, or too low, or what? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 18, 2013 - 21 answers

How do you navigate safe sex with new partners?

I'm getting back into dating after a long hiatus and I realized I have no idea how to protect myself from STDs without seeming like a crazy, overly-cautious prude. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 9, 2013 - 23 answers

I adore him, but find his health problems a turn off. Is there a fix?

I love him deeply, miss him terribly. He loves me more than anyone he's ever met. We go together like peas and carrots. But I broke up with him over one health problem that he can and would fix if I told him how much it bothered me. Am I nuts? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 3, 2013 - 41 answers

I'm just a gal who caint say "No" - I'm in a terribul fix

Sex and social life is all screwy. FWB, hookups, extreme libido - need help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2013 - 18 answers

What is the dating world actually like?

I have a friend who insists on a certain way of understanding how men and women couple off. Basically, he sees the situation as rather animalistic, where all the women are essentially waiting to be asked out, and the first men to do so get the "choicest" women. The rest of the women are left for, well, the rest of the men. Obviously, this is pretty traditional/sexist/chauvinistic. Anyway, barring all that, he feels a constant urgency to get to women "before somebody else does," because "the best women will be taken." Of course, I understand asking someone out before someone else does, but his theory is off-putting to me. It seems like human personalities, reasoning, circumstances, geographies, and cultures throw a monkey-wrench into his theory. Things are a lot more complicated in my mind. Do you have an alternative way of seeing the dating world, have a different experience, or are there any studies that you could point me to on this subject?
posted by uncannyslacks on Jan 23, 2013 - 38 answers

Performance anxiety - what can I do to help?

Very excited about a new guy I'm seeing. We were getting hot & heavy and he admitted to having performance anxiety issues, that he would like to go slow, and just needs to get comfortable with me. What can I do to ease his mind... & body? Slightly NSFW. [more inside]
posted by hollypolly on Jan 18, 2013 - 13 answers

Should I pursue a casual FWB relationship with this narcissistic but very intellectually interesting and sexy jerk?

Should I pursue a casual FWB relationship with this narcissistic but very intellectually interesting and sexy jerk? [more inside]
posted by tamagogirl on Dec 27, 2012 - 109 answers

getting older, horny as ever

Horny Old Man Filter: Tips for ensuring that my straight dude's libido ages gracefully. [more inside]
posted by sureshot on Dec 23, 2012 - 39 answers

How to date as a late 20s virgin?

Advice for dating as a 27 year old virgin? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 24, 2012 - 16 answers

Dealing with insecurity in the BDSM/poly life

BDSMfilter: Newbie male bottom + experienced poly top = insecurity vortex! Help! [more inside]
posted by RockPuppet on Oct 22, 2012 - 13 answers

The oldest story ever told.

Do we all need therapy? What in the hell is going on? [more inside]
posted by themaskedwonder on Aug 21, 2012 - 40 answers

I'm in a terrible fix

How do you NOT have sex on the first or second date? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 21, 2012 - 58 answers

Should I reveal to my upcoming quasi-blind quasi-date that I look different than he expects me to?

Should I (and if so, how should I) reveal to my upcoming quasi-blind quasi-date that I look different than he expects me to? [more inside]
posted by mauvest on Aug 21, 2012 - 44 answers

What is going on with me and/or the men I date?

What is going on with me and/or the men I date? [more inside]
posted by gcolmes@gmail.com on Jul 23, 2012 - 63 answers

Seeing a guy who is moving at the end of summer. Had sex on first date. Should I continue things or terminate entirely?

The quick and dirty: I'm seeing a guy. We slept on the first date, he brought up dating exclusively and we were both in earnest, mutual agreement that neither of us were looking for a FWB type of deal. Caveat: He's moving at the end of the summer. How best to proceed? Details behind the cut to fill in the blanks... [more inside]
posted by chloe.gelsomino on May 24, 2012 - 22 answers

help me do this casual hookup thing?

looking for some NSA encounter while travelling, willing but clueless: help me do this casual hookup thing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 13, 2012 - 19 answers

Electric Boogaloo

Last fall, I asked you guys for some help with my OkCupid profile. Your advice worked really well for me! I've changed a fair bit since then and now that I'm getting back into dating full-time I'm going back for round 2 with the hive mind. [more inside]
posted by modernserf on May 2, 2012 - 18 answers

She wants to be EXCLUSIVE? What a weirdo!

I feel like a freak for wanting a long-term relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2012 - 31 answers

I feel bad saying I'm a virgin, and I feel bad saying I'm not.

I feel bad saying I'm a virgin, and I feel bad saying I'm not. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 21, 2012 - 29 answers

Not tonight, dear, I'm temporarily hideous.

Starting to see someone. Yay! Just burned the crap out of my body. Help! (Gross details inside.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 13, 2012 - 28 answers

How to Get What I Want

How do I, an early-30's woman, get what I want when it comes to dating and sex? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 21, 2012 - 16 answers

How do I ask potential dates for head shots on dating sites?

What's the best way to ask for photographs from someone on an online dating site? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 21, 2012 - 18 answers

How to prevent self sabotage?

Asking for a friend: How can a person get over a crippling anxiety of getting dumped? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Feb 20, 2012 - 11 answers

"Sooo... can we have sex now?"

Second hookup/date tips for a girl who likes to pick up guys? (How to encourage said guys to make a move the second time around). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 15, 2012 - 18 answers

The hazards of HPV

Dating and STD question. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 9, 2012 - 18 answers

Hung up on a hook-up

Help, I'm still depressed about a woman that stopped calling me ages ago [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2012 - 13 answers

Is this cold feet or serious doubts? At a crossroads.

Ever been engaged to someone and had a lot of fear and doubts about this decision? How did you find resolution/come to a decision about those fears? [more inside]
posted by BlueMartini7 on Feb 1, 2012 - 13 answers

What if I don't feel intensity in my relationship?

Is it bad if I don't feel an intense/passionate kind of love in my relationship? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Jan 26, 2012 - 26 answers

Is Patti right?

Is no "sex without monogamy" worth a try? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 23, 2011 - 44 answers

What are the sexual steps you take while dating?

I'm female in my mid-twenties and due to circumstances have been a late entrant into dating. I've been out with several guys (ages 27 - 33) and am trying to get a better handle on how quickly things move forward in terms of physical/sexual. So while every guy, girl, and experience is different, could someone share what they might consider standard in their experience? I'd be curious to know what peoples' typical natural progressions are (for a person they're dating, not a hook up) in terms of the steps, not necessarily timing. For instance, do you generally do the first base/second base/third bases in order? [more inside]
posted by sowrite on Nov 26, 2011 - 32 answers

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