563 posts tagged with dating and relationships.
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Is it possible to find dates if you're a person seeking a person?

I am potentially interested in dating again. I had a breakup of a 1.5 year relationship around this time last year and feel emotionally over it. However, I feel like I will have a bit more challenges in regards to dating than the average person. (I'm mostly asexual, not very feminine, and a non-traditional undergraduate student in a college town). Special snowflakes inside... [more inside]
posted by sevenofspades on Oct 11, 2014 - 16 answers

How do I get there from here?

I'm pretty sure I'm not ready to date, but I'd like to be ready to date. Thoughts on how to get there? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 5, 2014 - 15 answers

So, how long have you been dating?

Like many other on-again, off-again couples, my boyfriend and I are having problems answering the question, "how long have you been dating?" [more inside]
posted by SkylitDrawl on Sep 28, 2014 - 23 answers

Help me get over and move on from this disappointing non-relationship

I recently came out of a disappointing "non-relationship" and am finding it hard to move on, and to know how to deal with this person (who is someone I see regularly). Hoping someone out there may have been through a similar thing and have some wisdom for me. [more inside]
posted by ss79 on Sep 27, 2014 - 24 answers

Perspective on the idea of "growing apart" in a long term commitment?

I recently started seeing someone new, who happens to be the first person I've dated who's divorced. When he told me that he was divorced, he said they "grew apart," after over a decade of marriage, though he also indicated that his ex-wife didn't feel that way, and didn't want to get divorced. I had the sense (though this was a brief conversation, and we're just getting to know each other) that he didn't necessarily *try* to fix things. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 27, 2014 - 26 answers

Sharing relationship problems for advice with best friend

Is it okay to ever talk about relationship problems with your closest trusted friend(s) for advice or to vent? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Sep 16, 2014 - 22 answers

OkCupid clinic

After years I finally did a re-haul/update of my OkCupid profile. If you enjoy this sort of thing, please help me with your wisdom. My profile. [more inside]
posted by Salamandrous on Sep 8, 2014 - 34 answers

Should I go on a date with someone if I don't even want a relationship?

Is this a stupid question? Idk. I just got out of a 5 year relationship in May. I feel moved on from him but I'm still trying to put my life back together. And I don't want a relationship right now, bBut two guys have recently asked me out on dates. Idk what to say! I don't know very much about dating. I am 21. [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Aug 27, 2014 - 15 answers

How do I... do OKCupid?

Whew. Just put up my OKC profile for the first time ever! Looking for advice and some pointers. [more inside]
posted by un petit cadeau on Aug 25, 2014 - 29 answers

Dating someone who has AD/HD and narcolepsy - how do I cope?

I just found out that my boyfriend, who has narcolepsy, also has AD/HD. Many of our problems make so much sense now, and I'm kind of at a crossroads. Do I have what it takes to lead a happy relationship with this very, very dear person? Will I get used to the sacrifices and compromises I have to make? [more inside]
posted by doctordrey on Aug 13, 2014 - 20 answers

Tips on allowing new relationships to unfold naturally?

I need tips on ridding myself of new-relationship anxiety, releasing the need to control and the need to know where it's going, and allowing the relationship to unfold naturally. [more inside]
posted by SabrinaV on Jul 31, 2014 - 10 answers

How can I stop wanting senpai to notice me?

Your 2000th snowflakey question on the how to be an emotionally healthy single person. How can I live for myself and grow my social networks instead of seeking validation from my abstract idea of a desirable partner? Navel-gazing after the jump. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2014 - 6 answers

BDSMfilter: munches, play parties, and social anxiety

How can an shy, inexperienced kinkster approach potential play partners without being too pushy or creepy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 5 answers

I don't want to meet my wife on Tinder

I'm inept at dating in the real world. Help me learn how to take a girl from acquaintance to date and face the uncertainty in between. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 21 answers

dating with chronic pain

I have chronic crippling body pain that can strike at any time. I am doing all the things I can to learn to live with it and ease it when it strikes but I have a hard time being with people sometimes because I get snappy when I feel like they don't understand how much energy it takes. Now I have a new girlfriend and it is going to cause problems. Have you lived with pain and relationships? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jun 26, 2014 - 19 answers

How do I talk to the guy I'm dating about this?

We've been dating pretty steadily for 2 months, but now he's suddenly unresponsive and distant. I want to ask him tactfully what's up. [more inside]
posted by shotinthedark on Jun 5, 2014 - 36 answers

Too fast? How fast??

I met a lovely woman and I'd like to talk about making the relationship more serious, but I'm completely clueless about norms around this relationship stuff. [more inside]
posted by meta x zen on May 22, 2014 - 18 answers

How to avoid complacency + continue self-development in a relationship?

I am in a new relationship, and it's very much in the honeymoon phase. This person is amazing and awesome and it feels like I'm getting to know the best friend I never knew I had. This new relationship is very promising, and I would like to avoid all the bad relationship habits/mistakes I've made in the past (mostly around becoming complacent, no longer working on myself, not being as ambitious etc.). What is your advice and personal experience with this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 4, 2014 - 3 answers

OkCupid: Why is my inbox not flooded and what's wrong with my pictures?

I'm a woman that just made a new OK Cupid account after a long hiatus. The amount of messages I'm getting are abysmal compared to when I was on the site six months ago. What am I doing wrong? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on May 2, 2014 - 49 answers

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner?

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner? Snowflakery to follow [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2014 - 26 answers

A Watched Phone Never Rings

Whenever I am anticipating a date with or a text from the guy that I'm with, I suddenly find myself avoiding everything I need to do in order to just mentally prep for that encounter. This is obviously not a productive or healthy way to anticipate a good thing, but I have acted this way since I was 16 and now at 26 I want to stop trying to be so damn available. Aside from keeping myself busy with obligations I MUST attend to lest there be Serious Repercussions, what else can I do to persuade my mind that living my life in the intervals will allow me to have better relationships, not the other way around?
posted by Hermione Granger on Apr 21, 2014 - 15 answers

One date with someone who was bereaved shortly after

I've been on one date with a man whose brother died shortly afterwards. I want to support him and respect his decisions (including about whether to continue the relationship) but absolutely do not want to take advantage of his grief. I don't know how to approach this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 14, 2014 - 18 answers

Whether and how to ask out someone I previously dated.

I'm thinking of contacting someone I previously dated to see if he wants to date again. I know there's a good chance I won't get a positive response or will just get hurt again, but I can't help the feeling that there's some kind of unfinished business here. So I want to contact him. My questions are: (a) is trying to see if he wants to date again absolutely a bad idea? and (b) if not, how do I contact him? Do I text him and just say hello and try to gauge his response before going further? Call him out of the blue to talk? See if he wants to meet up for a drink? [more inside]
posted by singlesock on Apr 12, 2014 - 17 answers

Describe going from "date" to "relationship"

I'm a guy in his thirties who has never been in a romantic relationship. I've been dating through OKCupid for a while, without too much success, and I think one of the reasons is that I just don't have a model of how you go from "first date" to "exclusive relationship involving emotional commitment". Hollywood love stories are no help, and I have no real-life experience, even at second hand, of how this tends to happen. I think it would help me to read some concrete descriptions of various paths this transition can take. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 9, 2014 - 14 answers

He's just definitely that into you

What does healthy requited love look like? How do I know if a person Likes Me Back? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Apr 9, 2014 - 31 answers

I suppose we should go on a... date?

Boy meets Girl. Then Boy does, what exactly? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2014 - 12 answers

Again with the OKCupid nonsense

I'm back on OKCupid after some time spent getting my head on straight (well, bi I guess). I'd like some third party advice on my profile. Friends are ok, but they're too nice to be really helpful. [more inside]
posted by showbiz_liz on Mar 31, 2014 - 52 answers

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, UFOs, human pair bonding?

Is talking early on in a relationship about "not believing in monogamy" a huge red flag? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 5, 2014 - 60 answers

I don't know what I want, but it shouldn't be this hard

Dating this new guy is crazymaking. I can't figure out if there's genuine interest, if I'm being strung along, or if it's my own anxiety tying me up in knots. Please help! [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Mar 3, 2014 - 25 answers

How even does one "take it slow" in a relationship? Teach me!

I broke off a long-term relationship recently, and I want that to not screw it up with a new guy I'm super excited about! [more inside]
posted by internet of pillows on Feb 4, 2014 - 12 answers

It's been a long, long time coming...

My relationship is great, with one small problem - no matter what my girlfriend and I try, I'm not having an orgasm. Oversharing details inside... [more inside]
posted by Ed The Sock on Jan 12, 2014 - 30 answers

Can We Be Friends?

I had a sort-of breakup recently, and I'm wondering whether I should move forward as friends or never speak to this guy again. [more inside]
posted by cscott on Dec 23, 2013 - 24 answers

What is an actual "dealbreaker" when it comes to relationships?

I met a wonderful man. He is kind, loving, smart, generous, funny, encouraging and we have unbeatable chemistry and honest communication. On one hand, I'm trying to be in the moment and enjoy this process (about six weeks in now). On the other hand, I'm thinking about the future. I'm a firm believer in gut instincts. When I hit it off with someone, it's often instant and has lead to some long and meaningful relationships. I also have a bad habit of overlooking issues. I've never ended a relationship. We have a great time when we're together and see one another often (5-6 times a week). Things have progressed really quickly and I feel confident in what we've established in terms of labels and exclusivity. I have no doubt of how he feels about me, nor of how I feel about him. But. He is in a very precarious financial and living situation. He's a freelancer who often goes weeks with very little/no money. He's helping friends with their business, so as of now has a free place to stay, but that too is a potentially temporary agreement. He has no interest in taking a job just for a paycheck. [more inside]
posted by patientpatient on Dec 8, 2013 - 42 answers

I slept with him on the first date - is this fixable or a lost cause?

I slept with him on the first date, and now he's lost interest. Is there any salvaging it? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Nov 21, 2013 - 44 answers

I'm actually into someone. Uh... what now?

I've taken a liking to someone and it seems that whenever this happens said person loses interest - even when they were previously quite into me. How do I prevent this from happening this time? Also, how do I not mess things up inbetween dates? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Nov 13, 2013 - 8 answers

Is you is or is you ain't a possiblity?

Having read a lot of relationship/dating AskMes, I've decided rather than wait for a relationship to fall into my lap, I should try the whole online dating thing. I am finding it rather frustrating and confusing, and hope the hive mind can help me understand it a bit better. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by Athanassiel on Nov 9, 2013 - 19 answers

How do I break up with someone who has anxiety?

I've been casually dating a man for several months. I truly like him, but it's become pretty clear to me that our relationship styles are out of synch. How do I end things without seeming cliche? [more inside]
posted by SarahBellum on Nov 3, 2013 - 12 answers

Past abuse and trying pegging, BDSM with the new boyfriend

The new boyfriend would like me to be more switch-y (and peg him, too) and I'd like to be able to provide that to him but past abuse makes me very adverse to causing people pain even if I know they'd enjoy it and also puts me off being the penetrative partner. How do I enjoy being the dominant/penetrative partner? I love it when the BF dominates me and causes me pain (a not-insane amount and he's always very respectful of my boundaries and comfort) so how can I become more comfortable reciprocating pain to him and how can I become comfortable with being the penetrative partner? [more inside]
posted by code_n_cakes on Oct 20, 2013 - 9 answers

Making the very 1st move on online dating sites please help!

I'm looking for insight into what is a reasonably good first message to send someone on an online dating site. I've been online for a few months and still feel lost. Successful online daters please enlighten me as to how you do it! Snowflakes inside... [more inside]
posted by outdoorslady on Oct 8, 2013 - 17 answers

Is this a normal thing when friends get a girlfriend?

I have a guy friend i've known since 1st grade (we're both 26), we went to school together all the way through high school. We had a kind of mutual unspoken, understanding/agreement over the years that we were friends, but we just didn't see each other often around school after a certain grade to be really good friends. Last year, we started talking a lot more on a pretty regular basis (about every day/night). [more inside]
posted by earthquakeglue on Oct 3, 2013 - 20 answers

Seeing an old ex stirred up more feelings than expected

So more than 4 years after the breakup and we only dated 6 months. But I see her car in the parking lot at the grocery store I go to. I've never seen her there before. I keep looking and see that it's definitely her in the car. We didn't talk. I don't think she saw me. I was leaving as she was pulling in. But my heart definitely raced and all sorts of emotions came flooding back. I was disappointed that it affected me as much as it did. Does this need fixing? How would I fix this? [more inside]
posted by yeahyeahyeah on Sep 26, 2013 - 7 answers

Boundaries: I need them.

How do I set up the right boundaries regarding intimacy when dating new people. Difficulty level: history of abuse, disassociation and social anxiety! (nsfw) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 9 answers

What's a good town for a single man in his late 30s...

What's a non-US city that might be especially good for a 38-year old divorced straight male looking to meet a woman and settle down? Much more specific details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2013 - 37 answers

Asking someone out after job rejection

So I didn't get the job, sadly, but I'm interested in asking out one of the people who interviewed me (not the hiring manager). I'm female, he's male, we're both in our early 30s. Would that be weird? It's a fairly casual organization, but I may be interested in applying for another job there in the future...
posted by three_red_balloons on Sep 17, 2013 - 28 answers

A careless Facebook friend request has caused some larger problems

Hey guys, help me resolve this awkward situation that started with a Facebook friend request and has now blown up out of proportion. [more inside]
posted by ashkenazy on Sep 16, 2013 - 39 answers

Shy men, give me some insight

I'm trying to get to know a shy guy. How to proceed? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Sep 5, 2013 - 29 answers

How to get out of this?

For the last 6 months, I have been involved in and online "thing". I think it's time to cut this off. Most effective way? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Sep 3, 2013 - 14 answers

hurting over past relationship now more than when the break up happened

I feel like I'm going backwards with the break up over my past relationship which occured over six months ago. I was fine for months afterwards and, in the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling increasingly guilty over my behaviour toward my depressed ex and it hurts to think about memories together and him in general much more than it used to. Is it normal, could it be because our one year anniversary would have been in a few days? Why is it happening, when I feel like I care more about my current bf than I did him? Am I betraying him? What should I do? [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Sep 3, 2013 - 5 answers

He's the one who made things awkward, so why do I feel like a jerk?

A co-worker/friend drunkenly confessed romantic feelings; I reciprocated; now he’s acting cold to me. Do I try to clear the air? Or let it go? [more inside]
posted by gimleteye on Aug 30, 2013 - 21 answers

Should I stay... Or really, how should I go?

How do I navigate a breakup with this woman who I respect and love, in a way that might encourage her to get better and find some happiness? Or should I even break up with her, given the potential good things that might come along if she did process through some of her stuff? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 25, 2013 - 32 answers

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