654 posts tagged with dating and relationships.
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At 21, should I still continue to rely on "luck" to find a boyfriend?

I am 21 and I have never had a boyfriend. I've gotten to the point where I stare at other couples and start feeling depressed/sad. I do not really like the idea of online dating. I feel like anyone could easily find a significant other using a dating app and plus, you never know if you will get along with the person when you actually meet them. I am really shy ( I do not know if that is part of the reason why I have trouble finding someone to like me) and do not have any guy friends. I currently reside in Richmond, VA. [more inside]
posted by ionable on Aug 24, 2016 - 23 answers

Starting a relationship with someone who has an unresolved crush

You know those connections where you mutually fall for a platonic friend, but you're just never single at the same time? What if it's your new dating partner who has that situation? Would you be comfortable with that? Do people actually get over their old "what if" flames? Are they happy with the people they're with when they get with someone who is not the old flame? [more inside]
posted by mousesinger on Aug 23, 2016 - 38 answers

2 Fast 2 Attached

How do you set limits and keep from getting too attached to someone you've started dating? [more inside]
posted by vanitas on Aug 19, 2016 - 9 answers

The 33 Year Old (quasi) Virgin

I started out as Emma. But I've turned into Miss Bates. [more inside]
posted by ChickenBear on Aug 19, 2016 - 22 answers

How do you cope with feeling inadequate while dating with a disability?

As a disabled person, how do you keep your head up when you're dating, and deal with negative self-talk and feelings of inadequacy? Essentially, how do you cope with - or even stop - feeling like, basically, no matter how awesome you might be or how much you accomplish, you're nobody's first choice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2016 - 24 answers

Disclosing mental illness in a new relationship

I am mentally ill and dating someone new. When do you disclose mental illness in a new relationship and how do you do it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 3, 2016 - 7 answers

What is the difference between giving into something and accepting it?

I've been single for a minute. I met somebody that makes me feel good, act happy, and ticks a lot of my boxes. There are, however, a few differences in our world view and life experiences that are deal breakers for me. I can never see myself dating this person, but we have fun. Do I break it off, or continue feeling good and have a breezy time? Snowflakes inside! [more inside]
posted by Vrai on Jul 21, 2016 - 24 answers

It Seems to Me that "Maybe" Pretty Much Always Means "No"

My (very) new boyfriend told me Friday he isn't sure if he sees himself living with someone or getting married again. Later in the weekend, he backtracked and said he was stressed out about other things, afraid of losing me, and he could be open to it. Is this relationship doomed, or can "not sure" mean something other than "no"? [more inside]
posted by foxonisland on Jul 19, 2016 - 33 answers

How do two depressed, stressed people have a sustainable relationship?

My partner and I both struggle with mental illness in different ways. We have been dating for a year and a half and do pretty well together but sometimes we aren't able to be there for each other or hold back out of fear of burdening the other. How do you practice self care and be a good partner in this kind of an arrangement? How do you confront a partner about habits and actions that might result from their depression, while being cognizant that they are struggling? What's a reasonable expectation for emotional support in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by mmmleaf on Jul 18, 2016 - 4 answers

Help me be brave

I've got a friend that I do almost everything with. I have realized I'm very attracted to him. Help me be brave and ask him out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2016 - 44 answers

Is it ever a good idea to force resolution in dating?

I had a few dates with a guy that I work with but not in the same departments. Even though everything was going well, last date was kind of flat. I get the impression that's the last date we will have. Should I clarify that or just let it fade naturally? [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Jun 23, 2016 - 17 answers

Late 30yr Little Person keep getting hit by Married (fetish) men. Advice

My case is very similar to this woman's story. Otherwise I feel I'm at my wits end regarding this issue. Would appreciate thoughtful answers, as I've asked this in other forums and have gotten some of the jealous lot who say I must be a flirt, I must dress sexy, I'm a hoe, etc. -- which all are not true and are really the opposite. I have strict rules of having male friends to only past work colleagues, classmates and social circles. [more inside]
posted by sam3cat on Jun 17, 2016 - 17 answers

Help me understand myself. Why do I get so anxious?

I get a lot of anxiety from dating (and from my life circumstances), and I'm not sure why that is. I'm trying to narrow down the factors and pinpoint what the deal is and how to move forward. I could use some advice or life-experience stories from other folks. [more inside]
posted by uncannyslacks on Jun 15, 2016 - 11 answers

LDR breakup logistics?

I think it's time for me to breakup with my long distance GF. The "if I should" questions aside, when should I do this, and should I do it in person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 9, 2016 - 17 answers

Help a guy keep his eyes on the prize in dating and romance

I'm a straight man in his mid-40s who has lost the ability to romantically fantasise. After a late start with the business of touching other people, and some relationships with awesome people where I just wasn't having fun, I've gone too cynical and lost sight of the fact that intimacy makes people happy. Are there stories or dramas that will help me imagine a fulfilling love life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 7, 2016 - 6 answers

How to date ethically when you're at the top of a hierarchy?

Everyone says not to do it, but you're going to do it anyway: how to approach dating ethically within a hierarchical community, when you're at the top? I'd like to protect myself, the person I'm interested in, and the other community members who may be affected as much as possible. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 4, 2016 - 15 answers

Co-workers in hate

How to deal with co-worker that you dated and now have to work closely with, but your angst doesn’t stem from having dated, but just from the fact that you know too much about them now and really don’t like them as a person? [more inside]
posted by greta simone on Jun 3, 2016 - 11 answers

How do nonexclusive relationships work?

I'm in the process of getting divorced and am seeing a couple different dudes. I like them both a lot but am in no place for a serious relationship. My soon to be ex is the only serious adult relationship I've ever had so I totally don't know what I'm doing. [more inside]
posted by Janet Snakehole on May 30, 2016 - 12 answers

How do set appropriate boundaries in a new relationship?

I'm in a wonderful new relationship but I need help with communicating, setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries and getting the space I need while getting to know this person better. [more inside]
posted by smurfzambo on May 30, 2016 - 10 answers

How to ask women out without seeming creepy or desperate

I am single after an 8 year relationship. I was engaged. I have no idea how to navigate today's dating landscape. Most of my past relationships have developed out of having regular contact with someone for a long time and getting to know them and become friends. Details inside.... [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on May 11, 2016 - 50 answers

Short relationship and he asked for space to think about things

I feel pretty upset that this guy I've been dating for 1.5 months (and known for longer) has suddenly decided he needs space while I was away. He has every right to choose to stop seeing me but we see each other frequently in our social circle and where he works/works out at and will continue to for another 3 months, so I told him I would like to talk to him about it in person. [more inside]
posted by korrasamus on May 10, 2016 - 18 answers

Have I made a mistake?

I broke up with my first real long term boyfriend about a month ago, but it was dragged out for a few weeks so only unofficially ended with no contact a few days ago. [more inside]
posted by izz97 on Apr 26, 2016 - 9 answers

I'd love to spend SOME time with you.... Introverts and dating?

I'd like to hear from other introverts about your experiences with dating and burn-out. Is having it at all (or even a few months in) a bad sign for long-term compatibility? Or just a sign that the relationship is moving too fast for you? Or do you set strong boundaries on your time and just trust that the right person will understand? [more inside]
posted by seraph9 on Apr 6, 2016 - 19 answers

Gay man in a relationship which could be going better

I'm a gay man in a relationship with a closeted man. We've been dating for a few months, going out to dinner and to movies, texting each other for an hour or two every night, talking about all sorts of things ... but things could be going better. (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2016 - 20 answers

GF is more successful than me, how do I deal?

My girlfriend is more successful than me. How do I keep myself from turning into a jealous weird guy? I want to celebrate and support her success, without getting bummed out and feeling emasculated. Looking for strategies (non-redpill) on how to not let this get to me, not blow my budget, and maintain my sense of masculinity. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2016 - 31 answers

How do I cope with not being #1 with my g/f who has 2 young kids.

All my past relationships were ones which we could both selfishly be top of the totem pole to the other, now I've been dating a woman with 2 children under 10 and I'm struggling with being too needy or feeling like I want more of her time than I guess she wants to/can give. I understand I'll never come before her kids and I do care for them as well but it's very challenging lately to cope with since there's been a dramatic drop in intimacy lately too (not just sex but random acts of kindness; the "honeymoon period" type affection stopped almost at the same time as moving in with her). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 14, 2016 - 20 answers

How to be friends when you wanted more

I have a lot of female friends, but no guy friends. So it's already a little harder for me to navigate this. I have a few questions: 1. Is it normal behavior for a guy to text everyday and only go on one-on-one hangouts with a girl? 2. Is it even possible to be friends with someone you have some sort of feelings for? 3. Do I tell him I feel confused? [more inside]
posted by flowy on Mar 5, 2016 - 15 answers

How can I develop sparks while dating Mr. Sparkless But Right?

I finally met a guy who's perfect for me on paper: he's kind, polite, and considerate, and he shares many of my interests. He seems to be looking for something serious. We both want to get married and start a family (not necessarily with each other... yet). But we don't have fun together and there aren't ANY sparks. I think it's because we're both mild-mannered introverts who need a more outgoing and sexually aggressive dating partner. Help! Do I need to morph into a different kind of person to keep this relationship going? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Mar 1, 2016 - 63 answers

Like, fifty green-eyed monsters.

My fiance just helped my--to be as melodramatic as possible about it--archnemesis into the same elite career/institution he's in, so that now I have not one, but two people to pathetically peer at, looking in with my nose pressed to the glass. He also had a thing for her before we started dating (and during). I'm freaked out and bitter. Help me figure out how not to be a huge evil baby while I taste the many acrid flavors of the jealousy rainbow. [more inside]
posted by bugperson on Feb 26, 2016 - 131 answers

Folding without breaking: define long-term relationship compatibility?

Help me define long-term relationship compatibility. How do /you/ define it, or, what do /you/ think compatibility is all about? [more inside]
posted by dubhemerak3000 on Feb 25, 2016 - 23 answers

How do I trust myself with affirmations after a recent breakup?

How do I trust myself with affirmations if I constantly seek validation from external sources, especially intimate relationships? I am coming out of a recent breakup that triggered severe anxiety and dependency. I am keeping busy after the breakup (it has been 2.5 weeks) but I still feel like there is something missing from my recovery process. I am seeking professional help soon (I have an appointment scheduled) but I find anecdotal examples of others' experiences to be extremely helpful. [more inside]
posted by modernman on Feb 10, 2016 - 7 answers

Seeking romantic compatibility anecdata

Deep in limerence, but the first attempt at sex was disappointing. [more inside]
posted by hellameangirl on Jan 31, 2016 - 21 answers

How do I end two relationships in a positive note?

Need help in ending two relationships in a way that is not too hurtful for any of those involved. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 21, 2016 - 15 answers

Am I unlucky, or unlovable?!

Ok, that was a very dramatic question title. But dude: I'm 32 and haven't had a relationship for 5 and 1/2 years! How do I change this and/or shake the feeling it's because I'm just not worthy? [more inside]
posted by dryersock on Dec 13, 2015 - 15 answers

It's not you, it's me, no, it's you.

I went out with a guy a few months ago. It didn't work out and for some reason I'm still puzzled by and dwelling at times on his behavior. Was it him? Was it me? Wtf. [more inside]
posted by a knot unknown on Nov 24, 2015 - 22 answers

How do we improve our intellectual connection?

I’m dating a man who is my kindred spirit in many ways. However, we have been dating for a year now, and I have felt over most of this time a sense of yearning for challenging conversation that I just don’t get with him. How have you seen people develop their critical thinking, abstract reasoning, and complex verbal expression abilities as adults? Conversely, if you have found happiness being with someone with whom you don’t have an intellectual connection, how have you managed around this on an everyday basis? [more inside]
posted by forasong on Nov 23, 2015 - 88 answers

Advice for dating someone with clinical depression

Most of the posts I found here were by posters suffering from depression themselves. I'm interested in those perspectives (what a partner can do to help) but primarily those of people who've been in relationships with a depressed person, but aren't depressed themselves. More specifics inside. [more inside]
posted by ism on Nov 6, 2015 - 24 answers

A web of deceit and misdirection, or, how to ruin two relationships

I've been dating a lovely woman for almost 4 years this fall but, within the past year, have developed an on-again-off-again romantic relationship with a former coworker. I feel the later has developed to a point that it is make-or-break while the former continues along without hiccup. I have a huge number of conflicting feelings... [more inside]
posted by landofthefree on Oct 18, 2015 - 25 answers

My Boyfriend is a Divorcing Dad: What is Appropriate?

I've never dated a dad before -- and now have a boyfriend with two children whose divorce isn't final. They are a very "low boundaries" family and I'm having a hard time dealing with what is said, discussed in front of his children... [more inside]
posted by alice_curiouse on Sep 26, 2015 - 31 answers

Healthy Expectations for New Dating Situation?

I am six months out of a 3.5 years serious relationship (and very traumatizing break up). I've been dating a new person for two weeks. The dates themselves are great and he shows many signs of wishing to slowly move forward with me. However, I am very anxious between dates. He doesn't text me much between dates and is self-admittedly not a "planner" (e.g. we will have a date but he doesn't confirm day-of; just texts that he is coming over 30 minutes before the agreed-upon time). I can't tell if the anxiety is from (1) normal new relationship feelings; (2) my gut telling me this guy is not into me enough; or (3) my own desperation to feel like I have the stability and constant contact of a LTR again. What are your stories of the first month or two of your own relationships? I have never dated quite like this (we met online) and I want to be more okay with the "dance" and ensuing miscommunications/awkwardness. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Sep 14, 2015 - 13 answers

Can you teach yourself to be more compassionate in relationships?

Need help in stopping a toxic behavioral pattern in post-divorce relationships. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Aug 14, 2015 - 7 answers

For me it's never "F*ck Yes"

Referring to the title of this article: F*ck Yes or No. I never feel so charmed by someone I meet that I am no-question into them. How do people like me create meaningful romantic relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2015 - 27 answers

A lifetime of reading subtext means I sometimes miss the main text.

DatingFilter: Been hanging out with this guy for a few weeks. Asked him out an Actual Date and he declined but it seems like he left the door open. And I'm not sure if my answer closed the door. I am terrible at this dating thing. [more inside]
posted by inmyhead on Aug 4, 2015 - 28 answers

Freaking Out About Ending Up Alone

Just like the title says. In the aftermath of a relationship, I’m panicking about being resigned to singlehood. As you might expect, snowflakes ahead. [more inside]
posted by xenization on Aug 3, 2015 - 16 answers

How to gauge interest and deal with rejection in early stages of dating?

After a pretty rough breakup in January, I'm starting to be open to the idea of dating again. However, I don't find myself romantically attracted to very many people, so when I do find someone I am interested in, I tend to get my hopes up. I started talking to a guy and feel like I am receiving mixed signals - how do I gauge interest and deal with the possibility of rejection after hoping this would work out? [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Aug 2, 2015 - 15 answers

I'm invisible in real life, but do well in online dating [27/m]

In real life women don't flirt with me, smile at me in public, or glance at me when they walk past me. However, with online dating I do really well. What gives? I'm starting to suspect I'm just really photogenic and I'm a bit of a dog in real life.
posted by GiveUpNed on Jul 20, 2015 - 23 answers

Should I Just Go Straight to Crone Island?

How do you date while being a feminist? I was thinking about trying online dating again. Then I read the amazing emotional labor thread on the blue, which made me question that. Are there tips and tricks for finding a male partner who is willing to do emotional labor? [more inside]
posted by JustKeepSwimming on Jul 20, 2015 - 44 answers

Searching for answers regarding lack of success in romance

Why am I also so disappointed and unsuccessful when it comes to dating, romance, and relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 18, 2015 - 12 answers

Befriending the Ex

My girlfriend wants to reconnect with a former partner and would like to invite the ex to a Big Event taking place next year. I am not comfortable with this. What to do? [more inside]
posted by Gray Skies on Jul 16, 2015 - 24 answers

Can you Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind someone virtually?

Yeah, that question is a weird one, so I will try to sum it up; boy meets girl, girls sleeps with boy, boy is a stunning wild Ukrainian flower that does not take life seriously and sleeps around on a daily basis, girl gets deeply attached, boy does not. However, I have become addicted to masochistically googling his name so I can view his social networks' pages (mostly Instagram, but also his VKontakte page). It became a daily ritual that deeply interferes with the fact that I absolutely know I should forget all about him and move on, cause as some of you know, this is a cul-de-sac and it hurts. So, I was wondering (perhaps very naively) if there is some way, or even some kind of a paid service, that will make it practically impossible for me to do this. It will make it impossible to google him, OR will block his social status pages from me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 16, 2015 - 16 answers

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