This happens to me far too often when I've dated men, I hear the 'I like you as a friend' after a handful of dates far too often. Is there something I could be doing wrong?
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posted by bluehermit
on Jun 11, 2013 -
33 answers
I'm in my late twenties, straight and male and I've been having a persistent problem in relationships: I like dating, and I don't like being exclusive after a month or two of dating. I also don't like spending 4-5 days a week with someone after that amount of time. What can I do and how can I set expectations while emphasizing I'm not trying to have casual sex with a lot of people?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 10, 2013 -
20 answers
I know this question can have really varying answers, but I'm wondering if I should be doing something to curtail the length of first dates (and I guess second and third, just the early few) slightly. Right now I'm finding they run about three hours and I'm wondering if I should be keeping them shorter and lighter.
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posted by zutalors!
on May 30, 2013 -
20 answers
How would you feel if your boyfriend told you he wouldn't have dated someone like you when he was younger?
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posted by waving
on May 29, 2013 -
78 answers
I have a very good friend who I spend time with on a regular basis. In recent history (and maybe probably for the foreseeable future) he has been depressed about his dating life, so naturally, it is a subject that comes up and I discuss it with him. However, given our past history together, it's been a really hard subject for me to discuss with him and I would like some help navigating this from the hivemind.
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posted by anonymous
on May 26, 2013 -
11 answers
I am a female and have never been married and live with my cat. After a disastrous relationship where I "attempted" to settle 2 years ago, I have been single. Every time I talk to relatives and "well meaning" friends they keep teasing me that I am a "cat lady" and reminding me of my biological clock.
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posted by sabina_r
on May 25, 2013 -
59 answers
I am trying to write a short breakup email to someone I need to go "no contact" with for a while... while still leaving a relatively positive line of communication open between us, longer-term. How do I do this?
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posted by argonauta
on May 24, 2013 -
14 answers
Write the numbers 1 to 20 on a set of cards, one per card but two cards of each number, put them on the foreheads of a group of twenty men and twenty women, and give them a couple minutes to try to pair up with the person of the opposite sex with the highest-ranked card: they will always end up with someone close to their own rank. Who originally thought of this?
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posted by renovatio1
on May 20, 2013 -
6 answers
I’m a late-30’s woman trying OKCupid for the first time. Can you give me general advice, some tips on keeping my expectations realistic, and suggestions to avoid getting too much of my self-esteem tied up in whether or not Random Dude responds to me?
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posted by Ms.Stocking
on May 8, 2013 -
31 answers
I’m a 31 year-old female. About 9 months ago, a 2-year relationship ended. I’m still struggling a lot with it. How abnormal is this, and what else can I do?
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posted by anonymous
on May 1, 2013 -
17 answers
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family. Through a combination of hard work, opportunity and luck, I find myself in my 30's with a very decent net worth. It's enough to allow me to feel very secure about retirement, job/career changes, health issues, supporting family, etc. and this security is probably the most important aspect of money to me. For me, money means security, safety, freedom. I maintain a very middle-class lifestyle, continue to work full-time and save at a reasonable rate.
I've started to realize how much this factors into my thinking about long term relationships, especially marriage (and its attendant family joining) and financial co-mingling, and am looking for some perspectives on positive ways of managing these kinds of issues.
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 27, 2013 -
21 answers
I took a 6 month break from dating to do some soul searching and reevaluate my skewed relationships with men. Along the way, I met some awesome dudes, each of whom I'd be interested in dating. I've developed solid friendships and strong feelings with each of them. Now my self-imposed love sabbatical is over and I'm not sure how to transition smoothly back into the dating world
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posted by calcetina
on Apr 26, 2013 -
11 answers
I’ve had a small crush on a co worker that later turned into a pretty big one. It’s gotten to the point where I couldn’t get her off my mind and it was hard focusing on school work. I’m 25 and haven’t had much dating experience. In my younger years, middle school throughout high school, I had self esteem issues with being overweight and then with acne. I’ve come here seeking advice from a wide verity of experiences of both genders. I found a similar case to mine on here and found the answers very useful so I hope to get great advice from this community. I apologize in advance for a long winded background story but I wanted to make sure I get enough information out to aid you guys.
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posted by uberkrn
on Apr 15, 2013 -
21 answers
I've recently been told that I act boyish by several people and I do not entirely understand what this means nor can anyone who has said this actually explain it well (versus being "a man"). I'm an adult male, and understand that this kind of behavior may be an obstacle to dating women and finding a girlfriend. I tend to joke around a lot (especially with women), but a lot of people joke around, so it's difficult for me to equate joking around with boyishness. I also laugh a lot. One female friend said that I'm like "a little boy" and that she felt comfortable talking to me(otherwise she has almost no other male friends). I have a job, my own place to live, no roommates, a car. All adult, responsible things so I can't see these comments about being boyish related to lacking responsibility. Does anyone have any specific examples of behaviors, ways of interacting, or conversations that they consider to be boyish? Thanks for your help
posted by itshaytime
on Apr 5, 2013 -
37 answers
I'm in a great new relationship, yay! It's been about 4 months. I like her. She likes me. But I am a classic anxiously attached type, and I would like your advice on how to cope with the "omg what will I do when she figures out I'm a loser and she dumps me and why didn't she call last night and she seemed annoyed when I said that and omg what if she doesn't like me anymore" feeling.
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 1, 2013 -
11 answers
I recently met an amazing, smart woman. On our third date, I made a stupid comment that offended her. I made it worse by trying to cover myself. I really want to salvage this situation and see this woman again.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 31, 2013 -
55 answers
I met a girl at a bar and I want to know how to avoid chatting with her all week before our first date.
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posted by Atlantic
on Mar 31, 2013 -
25 answers
I can't tell if I’m overreacting/over analyzing because I've been single for so long. Do I just need time to adjust to being a couple? Should I just calm down and stick it out for awhile?
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posted by g33kygal
on Mar 25, 2013 -
28 answers
I never initiate the texts except for a couple of times, but always reply and am nice and friendly. He texts me about anything, and usually sends funny images.
He also hangs out with me randomly, for example yesterday I was giving out food for an event and he came without his friends to be with me. But he has made no moves other than that, as in no touching or complimenting me, but maybe he is not very good at flirting.
I have had bad experiences when telling a guy first that I am interested. I don't like playing games, but I am wondering if I should be more challenging and mysterious? Does it seem like he is interested? He's been texting me for a month now. Thanks!
posted by lovisa91
on Mar 21, 2013 -
38 answers
I've realized that I put my ex-girlfriend on a pedestal. I didn't realize it because I thought it was best to think of someone before yourself, to think of their needs/wants first, to see the good in them, negotiate on the things that don't work but as i read more about this pedestal, I'm certain i do this and getting confused on where/how to draw lines. I'm not sure how to approach this issue in a healthy way. And now that she is on that pedestal...how do i get her off or avoid this with the next girl.
I'm looking for real strategies, interventions and hacks that i can practice. Specific examples are also very helpful (like he said this, I said that). Cds, books, videos that can change my perception also helpful. thanks.
posted by PeaPod
on Mar 19, 2013 -
6 answers
I had few men reject me lately and it has really done a number on my self-esteem. I don't really know how it works for other people, but I can never seem to get even close to who I want.
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posted by sabina_r
on Mar 17, 2013 -
47 answers
I like a PhD student at university, who sat next to me a couple months ago in a cafe on campus and started talking to me. He is in an open relationship, so although he is free to be with girls, I told him I don't want to hook up with him. He said he still wants to be friends, but has been texting me everyday since. I enjoy his company, and want to be his friend but I don't know if this amount of communication is wrong for his 'girlfriend', and if he is interested in me.
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posted by lovisa91
on Mar 13, 2013 -
34 answers
This has been happening for a few years now, where I fall for somebody emotionally unavailable, or already in a relationship and they do not tell me until much later. It has happened every single time with men that show interest in me and it is very upsetting as it makes me feel worthless or only second best. I feel like going on a break from men, even though it would technically be a break from nothing.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 9, 2013 -
19 answers
We met when I was there. We dated when I was there. Now he's coming here. And I'm freaking out (a shmear).
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posted by airguitar2
on Mar 7, 2013 -
8 answers
My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. After a big fight this weekend, we've decided to take a week off from seeing each other. Has this strategy EVER improved a relationship? &How do I best manage anxiety this week?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 3, 2013 -
21 answers
I've been seeing my boyfriend for about three months, and just about everything is great. We see each other almost every day and sleep at each other's houses so often we practically live together. We have everything in common, and I've never met anyone I click with that much. One thing we have in common that's not so great, though: we're both shy, and sometimes we don't know what to say to each other! How can we overcome this? And, while we're on the subject, what are some good conversation starters? More info below.
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posted by Gee, June!
on Feb 27, 2013 -
39 answers
I met a guy through an online dating website who I like but am not attracted to. I'd like to meet with him again, but how do I manage this without leading him on? And is online dating always going to be like this?
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posted by starcrust
on Feb 21, 2013 -
29 answers
As a 22-year-old woman with zero real relationship experience, I'm turning to AskMe in this time of indecision. One of my best friends wants to date me, and I like him, but I also want to make out with boys I might like more. Does that make me a bad person? Should I forget about the other boys? Details inside, naturally.
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posted by jouir
on Feb 12, 2013 -
33 answers
After a long period of not dating -- partly volitional, partly circumstantial -- I met somebody I really like and who really likes me (yay!) and we've been seeing each other for a couple of months. It's going really well. Although we have been on a few traditional dates -- live music and movies and dinners out -- we have the best time hanging out at each other's places, cooking dinner together, reading together, playing board games, and watching movies at home. Is this a problem? We are still getting to know each other. Are there good reasons to avoid what looks an awful lot like domesticity in the early stages of a relationship?
posted by summer sock
on Feb 5, 2013 -
21 answers
Over the weekend, I turned down an invitation to a birthday party (from a man I've been seeing for 3 months) because I wasn't actually invited to it by the girls who held it. It just so happened to be one of several incidents in which I have turned him down for weekend festivities. Now he seems to be ignoring me...or am I going crazy?
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posted by 01080591
on Feb 5, 2013 -
59 answers
What are your tips to keeping the lines of communication open in the first few weeks of dating someone new?
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posted by toerinishuman
on Feb 3, 2013 -
6 answers
I don't want to breech the fb borders yet, as I feel it could kill some of the mystery and magic of getting to know her in real life, but we may never cross paths again. Do I exercise my limited patience for a moment that I can't wait for or just send a msg and start the ball rolling?
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posted by talljamal
on Feb 1, 2013 -
26 answers
Can you help me to better distinguish cheery lovebird songs vs. the squawks of ailing canaries in my dating coal mine?
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posted by argonauta
on Jan 30, 2013 -
89 answers
I have a friend who insists on a certain way of understanding how men and women couple off. Basically, he sees the situation as rather animalistic, where all the women are essentially waiting to be asked out, and the first men to do so get the "choicest" women. The rest of the women are left for, well, the rest of the men. Obviously, this is pretty traditional/sexist/chauvinistic. Anyway, barring all that, he feels a constant urgency to get to women "before somebody else does," because "the best women will be taken." Of course, I understand asking someone out before someone else does, but his theory is off-putting to me.
It seems like human personalities, reasoning, circumstances, geographies, and cultures throw a monkey-wrench into his theory. Things are a lot more complicated in my mind. Do you have an alternative way of seeing the dating world, have a different experience, or are there any studies that you could point me to on this subject?
posted by uncannyslacks
on Jan 23, 2013 -
38 answers
I have been dating a guy and he hasn't responded to my text message for over a day, its quite unlike him. Why is he ignoring me?
I was wondering if anyone can help me understand what is happening? Has anyone had this experience before and guys in particular, what do you think? Am I over-reacting?
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posted by artystar
on Jan 15, 2013 -
60 answers
A guy called Matt used to flirt with me a lot and said I was one of the prettiest girls he has seen, asked me out but never went through with it, making me confused. I asked him out and he said yes but in the end nothing happened. I made out with his friend (did not know they knew each other) and yesterday Matt told me that he used to like me but wanted to take things slowly, but will not do anything now because of what happened. Is that just an excuse for him to reject me? Should I should just let this go? Thank you!
posted by lovisa91
on Jan 12, 2013 -
20 answers
I broke up with my then-fiancée in September 2012. What is the appropriate amount of contact after a break-up? I've struggled with finding a good balance. Give me some advice for the next go-round.
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posted by mellosphere
on Jan 8, 2013 -
32 answers
I am 24 years old and have never kissed a guy. I want to change this by my birthday 6 months from now. I have a lot of anxiety about it and am also holding onto romantic feelings for a close friend who lives far away. What's the best approach?
posted by anonymous
on Dec 26, 2012 -
17 answers
I'm dating someone who I respect and admire more than almost anyone else I know. He loves me. But I'm not in love with him.
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 15, 2012 -
54 answers
My date canceled on me because he's best friends with a guy who is in love with me...even though I have absolutely no feelings for said friend and I've told him so. How do I handle this?
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posted by mlk915
on Dec 13, 2012 -
64 answers
Over the past 5 months, I've fallen into a deep relationship. I'm not sure where to go next and would like your thoughts.
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 11, 2012 -
20 answers
