I'm in a wonderful, loving relationship but I can't seem to stop feeling pessimistic about what our future together would look like. I'm not sure whether to stay or go and need help thinking through how to go about doing either. [more inside]
Last week I decided to enter a Long Distance Relationship with a person I’ve never met in person. I like him and he likes me… but I also feel he may like me too much for a person he’s never met? Or perhaps I’m misreading him or overthinking, which I am prone to do. How do I handle this? Details within. [more inside]
My boyfriend left less than a week ago, and I've been heartbroken ever since. Is this normal? This is my first serious relationship (I'm 25, he's 28). When we're together things are blissful and perfect. He has affirmed his commitment to me in many ways, but I feel our communication needs may be different. I am trying to understand the root of my unhappiness, as I felt so hopeful when we were together in person. I am also trying to understand whether I am cut out for an LDR in this capacity. Please help. [more inside]
How do I move on from this breakup, considering it was such a short time? [more inside]
I was dating this 23-yo guy for about 5 months but we were never official. We broke up in March because I wanted the relationship to progress and he didn't. Since then, we still continue to talk and we hang out as friends about once a month. He knows that I want us to get back together since I've initiated us hanging out the past few times. He's told me he enjoys my company and he's considering giving us another chance. The last time we met, he told me he'd text me when he's done with his final exams so we can meet up. I just found out through FB that his grandmother just passed away. I never got to meet any of his family but he has talked about them before. Would it be okay if I send a text sharing my condolence? I really do feel bad for him. Or should I just wait and see if he texts me to meet up and then tell him in person?
I feel pretty upset that this guy I've been dating for 1.5 months (and known for longer) has suddenly decided he needs space while I was away. He has every right to choose to stop seeing me but we see each other frequently in our social circle and where he works/works out at and will continue to for another 3 months, so I told him I would like to talk to him about it in person. [more inside]
I recently started dating a guy who seems great in a lot of ways, but a friend recently suggested he might be a "covert narcissist". Both of my previous relationships have been with overt narcissists and ended pretty badly, so naturally I'm not happy to hear this but am willing to consider it a possibility. [more inside]
Please give me your best practices for starting a relationship off on the right foot. [more inside]
I started seeing this guy 2.5 weeks ago. He's great. We click really well, he's incredibly nice and funny and sweet and all else. But in that time we've gone from just meeting to knowing a ton of intimate details about each other's lives (mental health problems, his father's alcoholism, his sister's self-harm) and cuddling and kissing at his place for eight hours straight. It's not like it's horribly unreasonable but I'm overwhelmed and scared and need help setting limits/managing my emotions. [more inside]
Help me define and communicate my own needs with my sporadically emotionally unavailable new girlfriend. [more inside]
About a month ago I started seeing a guy with whom I felt an instant spark (very rare for me). Almost immediately my anxiety kicked in and I started worrying that he wouldn't like me, was taking days to return my emails, etc. Then he told me he really likes me and my anxiety switched around to maybe I don't like him and almost compulsively looking for flaws / red flags. [more inside]
I (F, early 30s) have been together with my bf (mid 30s) for 2 years and have spent many a weekend together with his family. They are always really nice and welcoming to me and yet I still don't feel comfortable around them because of: difference in family background (his family is extremely close-knit and generally happy, mine is a painful emotional mess), my own tendency to feel like an outsider, my not really liking who he is when around his family, and my not-entirely-baseless insecurity about him always choosing his family over me (more explanation about the last two inside). My questions: 1. How can I learn to be more comfortable around his family? I am interested mainly in advice on how I can manage my insecurity about him always choosing his family over me. 2. Is there any point of doing (1) at all or are we just incompatible? [more inside]
A few weeks ago I started seeing a guy I am now completely smitten with. We met through mutual friends and it started out as a drunk hookup (hah), but the following weekend I saw him again in a sober hang out context, and we ended up both canceling our evening plans and talking well into the night. I didn’t expect to have such an intense and wonderful connection with him. I feel like he is alive in the same way that I am. We can talk about anything, and we spend a lot of time just laughing about nonsense. Like I said, we’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks, but I already feel like he could be someone who is very very special in my life. [more inside]
I've been seeing a 23 yo guy for 3 months and been on about 14-16 dates. We haven't been intimate yet and he hasn't tried. He tells me he likes me and he's looking for a relationship. When I brought up the "what are we" conversation, he tells me he isn't sure if he's ready to commit. His reason is that he'd like to spend more time together and it's been hard since we're both busy with school and we see each other about once per week. I'm at the point where I'm starting to like him a lot and I'm just wondering if I should stick around or MOA. If I do stick around, what can I do to help him decide?
I have been getting to know someone over the past six weeks but he has been slowly pulling away over the last couple (i.e. lesser communication and dates). There are a few factors involved including him not knowing if he is ready for a serious relationship (it has been 2 years since his divorce), close family member being diagnosed of an illness and busy workload. Is there anything for me to do apart from being supportive, giving him space and waiting for him to sort things out? Thanks in advance. [more inside]
I am in my mid 30s and single (never been married). I have always enjoyed being single more than being in a relationship. I fact, the thought of married life fills me with dread and feels like a trap. But then I have times of feeling lonely and thinking that if I don't make an effort to meet a man and settle down soon, I will regret it one day. [more inside]
I've been going on dates with a guy I met from a dating app. He's in medical school so he has a busy schedule. We've seen each other 3x and we kissed on the last date. During the last date, I asked him what he's looking for and he said he wants someone to go out with and enjoy his time with outside of school. However, he doesn't know if he wants a relationship or not (ie. short term, long term). [more inside]
Do I get back together with my long time friend and ex and "see how it goes" despite him being at a crossroads in his life and not knowing what he wants or when he'll be emotionally available? [more inside]
I'm currently in a weird predicament. I recently started talking to 3 guys off of a dating app (not Tinder) at around the same time. They all asked me out for a first date. Through our exchanges, I notice that all 3 go to the same school together and happen to be in the same group of friends. I even saw a few photos of them together. All 3 have asked me to go on coffee or dinner date with them. I don't know what I should do because I haven't met any in personso I don't know them yet to write anyone off. At the same time, I don't want to be labeled as a serial dater if I agree to go out with all 3 of them. I'm afraid of the awkwardness when they later find out. What do you think I should do? Their ages range from 22-27 by the way.
My 8 year relationship just ended and I am trying to figure out how to move on. I know all of the general stuff from other threads and articles, but there are a few specific things that I am having a hard time with. Details inside [more inside]
I am six months out of a 3.5 years serious relationship (and very traumatizing break up). I've been dating a new person for two weeks. The dates themselves are great and he shows many signs of wishing to slowly move forward with me. However, I am very anxious between dates. He doesn't text me much between dates and is self-admittedly not a "planner" (e.g. we will have a date but he doesn't confirm day-of; just texts that he is coming over 30 minutes before the agreed-upon time). I can't tell if the anxiety is from (1) normal new relationship feelings; (2) my gut telling me this guy is not into me enough; or (3) my own desperation to feel like I have the stability and constant contact of a LTR again. What are your stories of the first month or two of your own relationships? I have never dated quite like this (we met online) and I want to be more okay with the "dance" and ensuing miscommunications/awkwardness. [more inside]
The woman I dated for the last two years (with unwanted break-ups in between due to circumstances outside of our control [being in different locations]) might now be re-entering my life and my city. We're both considering getting back together, and I'm certain we will be happy for the near-future if we do, but I wonder if doing so will cause me to get stuck. Am I justified in thinking this way? What have your experiences been? [more inside]
Is it wise to romantically/emotionally invest by dating someone knowing that they are currently not fully settled or stable in their life situation? [more inside]
I've been talking to a guy I met online for about 6 weeks, been on about 4 dates. At the very beginning, I let him know that I wanted to take things slow and not jump into bed with him quickly and he seemed to understand and respect my decision. We still haven't hold hand or kiss. However, our communication has increased significantly. He would call me almost daily and talk to me for over an hour each time. We also text each other constantly. [more inside]
I have been seeing someone for 3-4 months. His future plans are to look for a job outside of a current city and move within the next 12 months or so. Am I wasting my time? [more inside]
I'm having trouble discerning if this guy is worthy of my time or not as I feel like I'm into him. We've been texting each other for a couple of weeks and met up once in person. He's very funny and we seemed to have mutual values and clicked well through our convo. He texts me a lot everyday yet he never calls. He said he's not a fan of talking on the phone. [more inside]
Should I bother continuing to date a workaholic in his forties who barely has time for me, let alone for a hypothetical future family? [more inside]
My parents didn't accept my boyfriend for about six of the seven years that we've been dating due to his physical disability. Now my younger sister has a new boyfriend whom my parents wholly and happily accept, and as childish as this is, this is bringing up all sorts of unpleasant feelings. [more inside]
Short version: I had sex for the first time with someone I thought I really liked, but it didn't quite go the way I expected it to and now I'm completely panicking about it. Long version inside. [more inside]
I'm curious to know your stories, or what it is that keeps you happy in the relationship you are in? Also is it possible to grow in love with a person when you are in a happy relationship? Before I confused love with infatuation and I don't want to go through that again! [more inside]
Please help me sort out a new-ish dating situation. [more inside]
I just went on a first date with a guy I met online. He's funny, sweet, and nice. He paid for my drink and did not make me feel uncomfortable at all. We talked for about 2 hours and we seemed to have some common interests. I could sense that he's into me because at the end of the date, he asked me if he could see me again soon. I told him I'd have to see when I can because I have a busy week ahead. [more inside]
I am trying to sort out my feelings. I can't tell if I am abandoning possible relationships because I am not used to being out of my comfort zone or if I am just not that interested in someone. How do I figure this out? [more inside]
I'm 23 years old and I have had limited experience with dating in person. I'm pretty busy with school that it keeps me from meeting people I like. Therefore, I've considered doing online dating but I'm a little concerned about catfish and people who just want to hookups. For those of you who have experience with online dating, does online dating have a good pool of people who look for a serious relationship? If so, are paid sites like eHarmony or match.com better than free sites such as OKCupid? Thank you for your response!
My boyfriend has connections on LinkedIn that I would like him to get rid off. He thinks I'm being unreasonable. Am I? [more inside]
I will be visiting India soon to get an arranged marriage. I would like to know what to expect and how to handle the situation. [more inside]
Met someone almost a year ago and we get along wonderfully. We have wonderful conversations (can stay on the phone and/or hang out for hours), have great chemistry, and constantly talk about the future. However, he doesn't want to make things official because he wants to focus on school. Is this a cop-out? [more inside]
I met this 20-something guy through a mutual friend at a party and we've been texting each other for the past week. He insisted that we should go out drinking sometimes. When I talked to the mutual friend about him, she said that he thinks I'm cute, but she also mentioned that he admitted he had slept with at least 6 girls, of which only 1 was a serious girlfriend. Is there a good odd that he's only into me for sex? How can I tell? I'm at the point in my life where I want a serious relationship, and I'm not sure if I should give this guy a chance. Thanks for your help!
I’ve fallen for my coworker-friend-roommate I’ve known for a year-and-a-half, and I need advice on how to escalate without it all blowing up in my face. We've roomed together (just the two of us) for six weeks, but I've been away for half that time. Also, we get along well and flirt occasionally, but I’m the worst at reading signs. [more inside]
Can't decide if I should move back to NYC from SF. Please help me find some new ways to think about the problem. [more inside]
I'm a 22 year old college student who has a crush on a classmate. I've had very little interaction with him. Last week, I got to hang out with him at a friend's birthday party, he was very nice and funny and we even exchanged phone number. I also heard from his friends that he's single. Since the party, We haven't talked to each other much because there are very few opportunities to talk when we are in school. He sits far away and we don't have mutual activities outside of class. We have only said hi to each other in the hallway. I'm a shy person and very inexperienced when it comes to flirting or pursuing a romantic relationship. I don't know how to get to know him better without appearing desperate. I have no idea if he is interested in me more than a friend. I have never had a boyfriend so I don't know what to do. Thank you for you're advice!
Does this have potential to turn into a relationship? [more inside]
I'm 21 years old, just got out of a long term relationship 6 months ago, and started dating a new guy a month ago. I really like him, and really want this to work. I think we both have different expectations of being in a relationship, and I suspect my expectations and behaviors are unhealthy as my last relationship was basically my life and it was suffocating. How can I make this a healthy one? [more inside]
I'm not getting what I want, which is to be in a relationship with him. But I would rather see him occasionally from time to time, rather than not at all. Is this a terrible idea, and if so then how come? [more inside]
I am in a casual/non exclusive relationship and I wanted to know if things are progressing to be more or if he's just living in the moment and making the best out of it? Any of your own experiences would help a lot as well! [more inside]
I met a chap in July, and am now entirely done with dating unless widowed early. I would probably benefit from advice on relationships that go through the usual relationship stages at a rapid pace. With kid in tow. Assume 'don't do that' is not going to happen. [more inside]
I've been dating a guy (30) for half a year, and though I am blinded by love, I'm starting to see signs that he could be narcissistic, but am not sure. [more inside]
Today he forgot about our date, and i am really upset because it shows that he doesn't like me right? I would love to see him more regularly, but it isn't happening. At the beginning of our relationship we were both a bit nervous and getting to know eachother, but the last couple of times have been great and we really connected on a deeper level, which is why i still want to see him, but not sure if it is worth it if he flakes. Details inside. [more inside]
Basically, there is this girl I really really like, and there are a few things that tell me that the feelings are mutual. But she has already told me... twice... That she just wants to be friends with me. The way she acts with me doesn't match what she says though. [more inside]
This is mainly for my much younger sister although it might be relevant for little oink someday ... For the first time she has several people interested in her (they have said so). She asks me for advice. She seems flattered by the attention but not sure how to proceed. They are all good friends. I don't know what to say. Hovering between an unrealistic desire to keep her from getting hurt (don't first relationships often?) and the recognition she has a good head thus trusting her decision. Is there some basic dos and donts?