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OKC Profile, n+1+n

So it's been awhile since I've used OKC, just reactivated the profile, and it's now past due for an overhaul. [more inside]
posted by Matched plain socks on May 7, 2014 - 14 answers

online dating, texting, and rejection etiquette

I'm an early 30s lesbian who spent most of her 20s in committed relationships. My latest and most significant ended about a year ago and I've started dipping my toe in the scary online dating waters. I'm not ready to get serious yet but since I've been in these long relationships, I've never really 'dated around' per se, except maybe in my very early 20s- although at the time I was pretty closeted and neurotic, so I hardly even count that. Anyway, I registered on OkCupid and messaged back and forth with a few people. Somewhat naively, I gave two of them my phone number to text. BAD IDEA. More inside.. [more inside]
posted by anad487 on Apr 16, 2014 - 16 answers

Whether and how to ask out someone I previously dated.

I'm thinking of contacting someone I previously dated to see if he wants to date again. I know there's a good chance I won't get a positive response or will just get hurt again, but I can't help the feeling that there's some kind of unfinished business here. So I want to contact him. My questions are: (a) is trying to see if he wants to date again absolutely a bad idea? and (b) if not, how do I contact him? Do I text him and just say hello and try to gauge his response before going further? Call him out of the blue to talk? See if he wants to meet up for a drink? [more inside]
posted by singlesock on Apr 12, 2014 - 17 answers

Let's see, there's Match, and OKC, right?

A friend was telling me last night that she is ready to start dating again, and thinks that online dating is the way to go, but she has never tried online dating and hasn't the first clue as to how to go about it. [more inside]
posted by vignettist on Apr 11, 2014 - 27 answers

Let me know what you think of my OKCupid profile?

Sorry to continue the recent trend of OKCupid profile reviews, but I'd like more feedback on mine. [more inside]
posted by MeaninglessMisfortune on Apr 11, 2014 - 19 answers

Another OKCupid Profile Critique

I need some assistance in updating my okcupid profile. [more inside]
posted by cinemafiend on Mar 26, 2014 - 26 answers

How to take online dating slowly?

I'm a bisexual woman in my 20s, and I started online dating in January. I moved to a new country so I am totally content with meeting new people and learning more about the city through them. I also really enjoy just talking to new people in general without any expectations, but I wonder if can do something better so I can actually have something romantic? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 2, 2014 - 6 answers

Another Okcupid profile review.

Just started a new account. Maybe you guys can help me out? [more inside]
posted by MeaninglessMisfortune on Jan 4, 2014 - 22 answers

Help me out with the old online dating profile please.

Hello, I'm trying out the whole Match.com thing for the first time and am having trouble making my profile really stand out. I'm getting a little writers block as well. I've tried doing the funny thing and it just comes across as corny. I'm not fond of my writing skills and what I've put together feels it's a little flat. Let me know if anybody has any suggestions for improvement. Of course, any grammar corrections are more than welcome as well. More inside and Thanks! [more inside]
posted by Che boludo! on Dec 31, 2013 - 31 answers

Deciding if to turn a "breakup" into a friendship

Someone who I bonded with decided we had no spark, but wants to be friends. I am having trouble dealing with being rejected and my lowered self-esteem from the rejection but I feel like he is such a special person that I want to keep him as a friend. We had an intense online relationship for three months and dated for less than 2 weeks. Reading all these posts on MetaFilter has really helped me deal better with my breakup, but I still feel a inner turmoil about how I should handle my own situation. I don't feel that I trust my judgment so...here I am. Help on the matter is appreciated or just some advice or words would help me get through this. [more inside]
posted by LadyAerin on Oct 26, 2013 - 45 answers

So...is it my turn to ask him out now?

Online dating (*sigh*). Two successful dates with the same guy. Is it okay to wait for him to contact me, or should I be more proactive? [more inside]
posted by Salamander on Oct 9, 2013 - 21 answers

Making the very 1st move on online dating sites please help!

I'm looking for insight into what is a reasonably good first message to send someone on an online dating site. I've been online for a few months and still feel lost. Successful online daters please enlighten me as to how you do it! Snowflakes inside... [more inside]
posted by outdoorslady on Oct 8, 2013 - 17 answers

Sorry OKC, I think we need to see other people

So now that IAC has ruined OKCupid what are the best alternatives? [more inside]
posted by prunes on Jun 10, 2013 - 9 answers

when is it reasonable to take down the online dating profile?

when to expect the person you met online to stop looking and remove their profiles? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2013 - 24 answers

How can we move from awkward phone conversations to real dates?

I met a guy online and I'm interested in him. The feeling seems to be mutual, but I feel like we're stuck in an awkwardly unclear moment that leaves at least one of us (me) in limbo. How can we crawl out of this limbo and progress to something meaningful? [more inside]
posted by lilacp on May 23, 2013 - 30 answers

Should I keep messaging her?

I'm on OkCupd, and I've been chatting with someone who seems pretty cool and cute. We made plans to meet on Sunday, but she said she was busy but wanted to meet up later. I had a free ticket to a movie yesterday, so I asked if she wanted to come out. Again, busy, so I said "Hey, I'm free on Thursday and Sunday if you want to meet, but if not it's cool". I got a message back saying "I did want to, just got busy. Not into the attitude though so lets leave it there." The logical thing is just to leave it at that and not pursue her any more, but part of me wants to try and figure out if I can fix my mistake and at least meet up for a coffee to see if there's any chemistry there. Is it possible?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants on Apr 15, 2013 - 45 answers

OKC's Kiss/Kill/Marry

Have you (or someone you know) been successful with individuals who are a low match for you on OKC? I consider low to be below '80% Match'. This is assuming you've both answered at least a 100 questions. Success I consider to be at least a few months of going out. I'm trying to get a sense of whether it is reasonable to ignore contact from low-matching individuals or if those scores are just meaningless once you get to know someone in person. Should you give that person a shot or is it a waste of time? I'm not so much concerned with the friend or enemy score.
posted by who squared on Mar 31, 2013 - 32 answers

Online dating... we've moved to phone, what now?

So I met this guy online, we recently spoke over the phone for the first time and have spoken one other time after that. First conversation was about 20 minutes and the next was maybe 10 and took place this morning. We met on the type of dating site where people are matched for long-term relationships - what I'm trying to say here is we know we're not trying to just find friends. I am trying not to waste my time here and want to get to know what he is thinking so that if we're not on the same page I can move on, preferably before my membership online ends. [more inside]
posted by lilacp on Mar 24, 2013 - 24 answers

Acne scarring and online dating

It doesn't show up in pictures. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but don't want it to seem like I'm trying to hide something. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by mermily on Feb 27, 2013 - 25 answers

An 18-year-old girl who I'm interested in dating's parents want my info

An 18-year-old girl I met online who I'm interested in dating's parents (who, I should note, are still financially supporting her) want all sorts of my info before they'll let her meet me and I believe they want it regardless if she meets me here or if I meet her there. Her parents want, among other things: My address and addresses and phone numbers of various family members of mine; scans of pieces of my ID; to check if I have a criminal record. Is it wrong of me to want to withhold this info from them? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2013 - 96 answers

like him but not attracted to him. what to do?

I met a guy through an online dating website who I like but am not attracted to. I'd like to meet with him again, but how do I manage this without leading him on? And is online dating always going to be like this? [more inside]
posted by starcrust on Feb 21, 2013 - 29 answers

Online dating and rejection - is it uncool to ask 'why?'

Don't worry, I'm not about to ask anyone 'But whyyyyy don't you like meeeee??'. I totally get that someone can be not-into-me for the colour of my t-shirt if they want: no harm, no foul. But I would like to know how much follow-up is normal after a first date, and also if anyone has any idea how I could get this so wrong? [more inside]
posted by Salamander on Feb 17, 2013 - 39 answers

It's not you, it's me - or maybe it is you? I'm not sure.

It's been 2 months. You have a great first date with a guy from internet. Chemistry! Romance! Sexual Attraction! Best first date ever. But the female has undesirable qualities. After a few more dates the female confronts the male about his intentions. He then calls her back in a passionate telephone call and says he's willing to have a go. Sadly, he seems to not really be that into her. He then again a few weeks later reiterates his fondness for the female, despite hang ups and she's now rethinking her position. [more inside]
posted by Danithegirl on Jan 15, 2013 - 28 answers

Deep online relationship - what to do?

Over the past 5 months, I've fallen into a deep relationship. I'm not sure where to go next and would like your thoughts. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2012 - 20 answers

Proposed a long-distance "meeting" trip with someone I've been interested in dating for several months. I agreed to pay for everything but now I'm feeling awkward about the entire thing. Details inside.

Proposed a long-distance "meeting" trip with someone I've been interested in dating for several months. I agreed to pay for everything but now I'm feeling awkward about the entire thing. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by audio on Sep 5, 2012 - 31 answers

Suggestions that may improve my OKCupid profile or conversation initiations?

Suggestions that may improve my OKCupid profile or conversation initiations? [more inside]
posted by Willpower on Aug 5, 2012 - 49 answers

Suggestions for my OkCupid profile, and on how to initiate conversations with women?

My OkCupid profile--any suggestions? And what's the best way to initiate conversations with women? [more inside]
posted by Willpower on Jun 29, 2012 - 51 answers

I'll date you AND give you $5,000,000! I just need a small down payment.

Have you run into any 401 scammers on OKcupid? [more inside]
posted by bswinburn on Apr 20, 2012 - 12 answers

Dating dilemma - The type of people I want to date always seem to live in New York. I'm happy in my small town and don't want to move. How do I best approach this?

Dating dilemma - The type of people I want to date always seem to live in New York. I'm happy in my small town and don't want to move. How do I best approach this? [more inside]
posted by audio on Apr 17, 2012 - 55 answers

that chick cray

Another online dating etiquette question: Is it ever acceptable to contact someone two times before hearing back from them? Or is that creepy? [more inside]
posted by seesom on Apr 15, 2012 - 23 answers

Why isn't online dating working for me?

Online dating never seems to progress past the smalltalk stage. What am I doing wrong? Most men who message me never ask me out. I've sometimes done the asking, but nothing has come of it. I've had to repel a lot of unsavory advances, but other than that, I get no offers. And lately, nobody has messaged me at all. [more inside]
posted by windykites on Apr 9, 2012 - 22 answers

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a... snitch?

(TL;DR): He’s still online after 2 1/2 years. Now he’s engaged to my friend. I made the match. Do I do anything? [more inside]
posted by Lettuce_Leaves on Mar 11, 2012 - 34 answers

How do I ask potential dates for head shots on dating sites?

What's the best way to ask for photographs from someone on an online dating site? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 21, 2012 - 18 answers

Online dating question-what could have happened? I'm confused and bummed

Match.com-what is going on with his profile? I can send him an email BUT can not click to view his profile ;( This guy and I have been emailing bac and fourth -(would have been 3rd email from him) When I went to check my emails. Saw his default photo was taken off. I tried clicking on his profile... but I can't *when I do try* the information reads: this profile information is "Addtional profile information is not avaliable'' BUT it shows he was actie with in 24 hrs. Also, I can send him an email, as I drafted something and the email setting had no issue letting me do so. What is going on with his profile? [more inside]
posted by titforatat33 on Feb 3, 2012 - 12 answers

How do I deal with abuse my girlfriend is going through?

Girl I am dating just admitted to me that her family was abusive and her older brother is still abusive towards her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2012 - 29 answers

Reviewing my 8 month GAY dating experiment. What is causeing me to get these results?

Reviewing my 8 month GAY dating experiment. What is causeing me to get these results? [more inside]
posted by ryker on Jan 3, 2012 - 34 answers

Duck, duck, duck, goose

Online dating advice: when they're all pretty good, how do I pick out the great ones? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 23, 2011 - 22 answers

Let’s do it!

When can we have sex without me seeming to be a slut??? [more inside]
posted by Amalie-Suzette on Nov 8, 2011 - 51 answers

What are the rules when there are no rules?

Did I do a bad thing and ruin a good thing or be assertive and stand up for myself? Either way, what's the best way to handle things now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 2, 2011 - 47 answers

There's a beach but no-one to walk it with!

I moved/relocated four months ago to a small island in SE Asia. I never really thought much about dating before this - I always seemed to have a partner if I wanted one - but there are so few single guys here looking for Western women that it might become a bit of an issue. But if I try online dating, my matches are likely to be from hundreds of miles away which could end up with me not meeting anyone that way either. Should I give it a go? [more inside]
posted by mudkicker on Jul 27, 2011 - 10 answers

To use info from a girl's online profile in talking to her offline?

I've recently made chit-chat with an attractive barista at a coffee shop I frequent, mostly about the writing group I meet with there and a band we both like that she was playing over the sound system one day. This past weekend I signed into OKCupid for the first time in awhile, and she's one of the first matches that comes up for me. So now not only do I know that she's single, but that we both like several other bands, authors, shows and movies. We actually have a good bit in common. Do I exploit my new-found knowledge of her to make conversation in person (which is publicly posted, and it's not like I went looking for it), or do I message her on OKC in a "fancy meeting you here" sort of way? Which is less creepy?
posted by Zorz on Jul 26, 2011 - 40 answers

A game of numbers and I drew two winners

From reading everything on Metafilter and from my own experience, it seems online dating is a game of numbers. With that in mind, I have been trying to meet a large number of men who seem to be a good match for me. My last relationship ended 6 months ago after 1.5 years together. Before I started dating him, I spent nearly 3 years single. I rarely feel attracted to men when I first meet them, but in the past two weeks, I have met two very interesting fellows who I would like to get to know better. The issue is that my mind is completely monogamous. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 22, 2011 - 12 answers

Bikes, books, Brooklyn, and boredom: help me normalize my expectations of OkCupid.

Please help me manage my expectations about online dating! [more inside]
posted by sideofwry on Jun 19, 2011 - 24 answers

World's least photogenic man seeks love

I'm a below average looking guy to start with. In photos, though, I look like the troll from under the bridge. I'm going to sign up for online dating soon. How can I obtain a picture of myself that doesn't scare small children and pets—or, more importantly, 18-25 year old girls? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 31, 2011 - 47 answers

To Google or not to Google potential dates?

If you Google your dates before meeting through online sites, how do you handle the knowing the answers to the mundane areas of their life before being told? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 18, 2011 - 69 answers

Anxious like a mofo over new relationship. Please help prevent me from sabotaging!

Anxiety over new relationship is killing me. Help me to stop it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2011 - 23 answers

Needing Advice on An Okcupid Profile

Looking for honest, thoughtful input regarding an OkCupid profile..... [more inside]
posted by Hogermite on Apr 7, 2011 - 64 answers

It's been five dates and I'm still lukewarm

I met a guy through OKC a couple of months ago. We've gone out five times and I'm still not feeling a spark. While it's not a complete "no", I'm beginning to worry that waiting to come around might not be a good idea either. When do or should you cut things off with someone when you're so unsure? [more inside]
posted by patientpatient on Apr 6, 2011 - 20 answers

Feels like high school all over again…

How do I know where I stand with him? [more inside]
posted by breckai on Apr 5, 2011 - 27 answers

72 hour rule for online dating?

Online dating: how long after receiving a response should I respond? [more inside]
posted by morganw on Apr 1, 2011 - 26 answers

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