58 posts tagged with dating and anxiety.
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Healthy Expectations for New Dating Situation?

I am six months out of a 3.5 years serious relationship (and very traumatizing break up). I've been dating a new person for two weeks. The dates themselves are great and he shows many signs of wishing to slowly move forward with me. However, I am very anxious between dates. He doesn't text me much between dates and is self-admittedly not a "planner" (e.g. we will have a date but he doesn't confirm day-of; just texts that he is coming over 30 minutes before the agreed-upon time). I can't tell if the anxiety is from (1) normal new relationship feelings; (2) my gut telling me this guy is not into me enough; or (3) my own desperation to feel like I have the stability and constant contact of a LTR again. What are your stories of the first month or two of your own relationships? I have never dated quite like this (we met online) and I want to be more okay with the "dance" and ensuing miscommunications/awkwardness. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Sep 14, 2015 - 13 answers

How to gauge interest and deal with rejection in early stages of dating?

After a pretty rough breakup in January, I'm starting to be open to the idea of dating again. However, I don't find myself romantically attracted to very many people, so when I do find someone I am interested in, I tend to get my hopes up. I started talking to a guy and feel like I am receiving mixed signals - how do I gauge interest and deal with the possibility of rejection after hoping this would work out? [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Aug 2, 2015 - 15 answers

First time woes...

Short version: I had sex for the first time with someone I thought I really liked, but it didn't quite go the way I expected it to and now I'm completely panicking about it. Long version inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2015 - 12 answers

Dating dilemma: Should I text this guy again or is it done?

I've gone out a few times with a friend of a friend. Although initially he texted me a lot, he's stopped and I want to know if I should text him (again). My minimal dating experience and social anxiety are making it difficult for me to decide what to do. Way more detail inside. [more inside]
posted by peppermintchaya on Apr 23, 2015 - 28 answers

Scared of attraction.

29 year old heterosexual male. I believe that I have social anxiety when it comes to talking to women I am attracted to - perhaps more than normal. This has meant very little sex or relationships throughout my life. Practical ideas for dealing with this would be appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2015 - 18 answers

Confused about dating, too fickle to live

If anyone wants to help me with my weird confusion about dating, read on.. . [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Jan 23, 2015 - 13 answers

Tips on allowing new relationships to unfold naturally?

I need tips on ridding myself of new-relationship anxiety, releasing the need to control and the need to know where it's going, and allowing the relationship to unfold naturally. [more inside]
posted by SabrinaV on Jul 31, 2014 - 10 answers

BDSMfilter: munches, play parties, and social anxiety

How can an shy, inexperienced kinkster approach potential play partners without being too pushy or creepy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 5 answers

How do I control my high anxiety and sensitivity when dating?

How I can I better handle these intense feelings and hold them in while maintaining the confidence and calmness that made the woman like me in the first place? [more inside]
posted by My Famous Mistake on Jun 13, 2014 - 26 answers

I really just need a walkthrough.

I am really terrible at 1) figuring out what the hell I want, and 2) communicating it. I've started dating a guy and this problem is magnifying my relationship anxieties by a thousand, and it's starting to make me super stressed. Please tell me what I'm doing wrong here! [more inside]
posted by sockitysock on Jun 4, 2014 - 19 answers

Nooope. Not going through this again.

Actively dreading an upcoming date -- probably not a good sign, right? What's the best way to proceed? [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Apr 22, 2014 - 28 answers

Starting online dating when you're still a bit a broken inside

I'm 30, male, British. Over the last few weeks I've felt the clouds of my latest depression begin to part and some sunlight poke through. I'm contemplating trying online dating again. How can I take advantage of this improvement whilst being careful not to over-tax myself and do an emotional crash-and-burn? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2014 - 12 answers

I don't know what I want, but it shouldn't be this hard

Dating this new guy is crazymaking. I can't figure out if there's genuine interest, if I'm being strung along, or if it's my own anxiety tying me up in knots. Please help! [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Mar 3, 2014 - 25 answers

Boundaries: I need them.

How do I set up the right boundaries regarding intimacy when dating new people. Difficulty level: history of abuse, disassociation and social anxiety! (nsfw) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 9 answers

I'm dating-challenged and dropped the ball. How I do pick it back up?

Over last weekend I spent a whole bunch of time with a lovely woman--dinners, picnics, walks, wine under the stars etc. These weren't explicitly dates, but it all seemed pretty romantic. At the end of the evening on Saturday and Sunday we had these awkward pauses when my insecurities and my desire to--give a goodnight kiss? Express my attraction? Or something--were warring. I don't know what she was thinking but it was awkward on both sides. Now I won't see her for a month. Do I email her and explicitly say that I'm interested? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 26, 2013 - 25 answers

Can't live like this...

If social media and crowdsourcing is good for anything, I figure it's to find some sort of answer to questions like these. Here goes nothing... I'm a 23 year old with cerebral palsy and while I'm very much a special snowflake in that I've been gifted with normal function as far as most of my life is concerned-most importantly in terms of intellect- there's one part of my CP that's made my life smaller and more miserable than any wheelchair could. It's affected my relationships with and opportunities for friends, dates and jobs, and for a richer life in general. Help me find a way out. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Aug 21, 2013 - 24 answers

Is this limerence? Because it sucks.

Whenever I get into a romantic/sexual relationship I always start feeling obsessive. I am totally sick of it because when it kicks in, it completely obscures what's really going on in the relationship, whether good or bad. [more inside]
posted by summer sock on Aug 10, 2013 - 9 answers

Dating while socially awkward

I'm no good at conversation. Should I bother with dating? [more inside]
posted by enigmatologist on Jul 10, 2013 - 26 answers

Date or wait?

I'm a man in his mid-twenties. I've never been in a relationship. I've never even taken anyone out on a date. I want to rectify this, but I think my mental health and my living situation prevent me from doing so. Should I even try to date? If not, what should I do? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2013 - 35 answers

I know they're nice, but they're not for me!

I'm in an amazing relationship, with someone I've known for over two years, and we've been dating for a year-ish. We're both women in our early 20's. I've only dated women up to this point, and been very happy with that. It seems that my brain doesn't want to keep that status quo anymore and is trying to convince me I want to experience being with men. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2013 - 10 answers

My friend with anxiety won't help himself and I don't know what to do

A friend of mine refuses to address his anxiety issues. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but also don't know how much more I can take. Please help. [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on May 28, 2013 - 15 answers

Advice for the anxiously attached.

I'm in a great new relationship, yay! It's been about 4 months. I like her. She likes me. But I am a classic anxiously attached type, and I would like your advice on how to cope with the "omg what will I do when she figures out I'm a loser and she dumps me and why didn't she call last night and she seemed annoyed when I said that and omg what if she doesn't like me anymore" feeling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Taking time off from a relationship

My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. After a big fight this weekend, we've decided to take a week off from seeing each other. Has this strategy EVER improved a relationship? &How do I best manage anxiety this week? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2013 - 21 answers

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy. No, this is literally crazy.

I'm hopelessly, desperately clueless at dating. Extensive tl;dr content contained herein. Be gentle, but above all: HALP. Now, watch as I over think my plate of beans. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2012 - 16 answers

Trying to simmer down now.

What do you wish you had done just before you moved in with your SO? Pretty SFW. [more inside]
posted by OompaLoompa on May 22, 2012 - 13 answers

Is is ok if I just text you?

I have some dating questions. [more inside]
posted by sockysocksock on Apr 1, 2012 - 21 answers

Can't not be friendzoned

(23-year-old straight male) After moving to a new city 2 1/2 years ago and suffering a series of setbacks which I've mostly rebounded from, I've found it impossible to make any progress at all with anyone of the opposite gender. I have my shit together, am well-liked by most despite having always been pretty socially awkward and anxious, and am thought of by my friends as smart, funny and charming, but I just can't get beyond the friendzone. What am I doing wrong? Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by denmarkstreet on Mar 3, 2012 - 17 answers

Not quite a blind date, but close enough

High School-esque Drama Filter! My friend recently told me that a friend of hers is interested in me. With my consent, she's arranged a group dinner on Friday and invited both of us along. There's no reason that this thing should faze me, but the amount of freaking out I'm doing right now is ridiculous. Help me calm down before I cancel out of sheer panic! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 29, 2012 - 11 answers

How can I get my dating life started again

I need help with my dating life, I'm a single straight male, 25y/o, working 60 hour weeks, with limited options. [more inside]
posted by curious-mind on Feb 4, 2012 - 54 answers

How do I deal with rollercoaster relationship feelings?

I'm high as kite when I'm with "him" and feel like a junkie desperate for a fix when I'm not. How do I better manage these extreme feelings? [more inside]
posted by patientpatient on Jan 12, 2012 - 14 answers

Asking out a socially awkward friend

You're a smart, awesome guy with serious social anxiety. What's the least awful way a friend could let you know they have feelings for you? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2011 - 35 answers

how to survive long-distance neediness

how needy is too needy in a long-distance relationship? [more inside]
posted by happyjuice on Dec 4, 2011 - 17 answers

Too sad to be good convo partner?

Ok, so I've been having this problem lately (and I think it's related to my recent depression) where I meet new people and kind of expect that I'll never develop any friendship with them, but then it actually does happen, and I realize in horror that when they bring up previous conversations we've had, I act completely clueless because I didn't bother to remember it in the first place, and they say something like, "Remember we were talking about how my mom lives literally right next door to you?" (seriously, that happened today) and I remember suddenly, but clearly have already made it obvious that I didn't remember it in the first place... That's been happening a lot lately, and I want to know how to recall what I talked about with people more. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2011 - 8 answers

Dating without the bullshit?

I enjoy going on dates. I do not enjoy navigating a thicket of doublespeak and bullshit in order to figure out what's next. Is there any way around this? [more inside]
posted by dekathelon on Oct 15, 2011 - 43 answers

I freeze up on dates and I fail. What do I do.

I've been going on some dates lately, usually with women that I really like. Except I hype the date up so much in my head that by the time it happens I literally have nothing to offer because I am no longer acting like myself and I freeze up. And I bomb. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2011 - 28 answers

A little too sensitive. On both sides.

Dating bean plate: Are we both too insecure and anxious to date each other? Or this is normal for the first stages of dating? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2011 - 8 answers

Anxious like a mofo over new relationship. Please help prevent me from sabotaging!

Anxiety over new relationship is killing me. Help me to stop it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2011 - 23 answers

penny for my thoughts?

I know what my problem is. I know why it was happening. Question is: how do I CHANGE my knee-jerky negative subconscious? [more inside]
posted by littlesq on Feb 12, 2011 - 7 answers

To Online Date, or Not to Online Date, that is the question

Should I try online dating or stick to hoping to meet someone in the outside world? More details inside. [more inside]
posted by Polgara on Feb 5, 2011 - 29 answers

Is he into this or not?

I'm in a new relationship-like thing but I have no idea what is going on. How do I tell? Should I ask? [more inside]
posted by ashotinthearm on Jan 27, 2011 - 30 answers

Could we maybe just kiss a little and then forget this ever happened?

Given that I know my defence mechanisms are still operating on high after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship, and I keep getting cold feet with anyone who tries to get close to me, and yet still crave small doses of intimacy, how can I ethically conduct myself with people who are/could be interested in me? [more inside]
posted by Chrysalis on Dec 21, 2010 - 6 answers

Help me reign this talker in so I can get to know him better.

We all hear about too little communication during dating and a relationship. How about the reverse? Help me assert my need for less communication in a new friendship/potential relationship. [more inside]
posted by patronuscharms on Dec 5, 2010 - 34 answers

Where do I draw the line with my mom?

How can I begin to disengage myself from my parents (read: mother) so that I no longer feel anxiety and guilt when I handle or approach a situation my way, particularly when it comes to dating? [more inside]
posted by patronuscharms on Oct 2, 2010 - 28 answers

Waiting is the hardest part

Thanks to the suggestions in this post I have decided that I need to tell a fantastic guy that I really like him. Yay! Problem? He's leaving for a week and my anxiety is going to drive me nuts. [more inside]
posted by littlesq on Aug 19, 2010 - 12 answers

I dread my own fear and I fear my own dread. Help me stop.

My anxiety prevents me from going on dates, even when a girl might be interested in me. How do I get over this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2010 - 28 answers

How to get past the nervousness and have fun?

Good suggestions for calming first-date nerves? [more inside]
posted by photo guy on May 28, 2010 - 28 answers

dating for dummies

I have almost no dating experience, mainly due to my social anxiety and fear of intimacy. How can I pursue this relationship...? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2010 - 22 answers

Anxiety? or my gut instinct?

Trust my instincts? or just relationship anxiety? [more inside]
posted by mrspeacock on Apr 18, 2010 - 14 answers

Holding myself back because of body anxiety

How do I ease my anxiety over meeting a dude I'm really into? Body image issues tagging along, too. [more inside]
posted by rachaelfaith on Jan 8, 2010 - 26 answers

How should I move forward?

The New Year is approaching and I need some guidance on how to move forward with my life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2009 - 13 answers

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