2333 posts tagged with dating.
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Another should I ask her out question

There's a woman at work I've been thinking of asking out. I just saw her profile on a dating site. How to ask her out? [more inside]
posted by falsedmitri on Aug 24, 2016 - 12 answers

At 21, should I still continue to rely on "luck" to find a boyfriend?

I am 21 and I have never had a boyfriend. I've gotten to the point where I stare at other couples and start feeling depressed/sad. I do not really like the idea of online dating. I feel like anyone could easily find a significant other using a dating app and plus, you never know if you will get along with the person when you actually meet them. I am really shy ( I do not know if that is part of the reason why I have trouble finding someone to like me) and do not have any guy friends. I currently reside in Richmond, VA. [more inside]
posted by ionable on Aug 24, 2016 - 21 answers

How to keep track of dozens of Tinder/Bumble people

Shallow daters of the hive ... how do you keep track of this stuff? There really should be an app that holds a screenshot and a few notes. [more inside]
posted by SockPuppetOfShame on Aug 23, 2016 - 11 answers

Starting a relationship with someone who has an unresolved crush

You know those connections where you mutually fall for a platonic friend, but you're just never single at the same time? What if it's your new dating partner who has that situation? Would you be comfortable with that? Do people actually get over their old "what if" flames? Are they happy with the people they're with when they get with someone who is not the old flame? [more inside]
posted by mousesinger on Aug 23, 2016 - 38 answers

Worried over a disparity of feelings or worried over nothing?

Last week I decided to enter a Long Distance Relationship with a person I’ve never met in person. I like him and he likes me… but I also feel he may like me too much for a person he’s never met? Or perhaps I’m misreading him or overthinking, which I am prone to do. How do I handle this? Details within. [more inside]
posted by AdriftInSpace on Aug 20, 2016 - 32 answers

2 Fast 2 Attached

How do you set limits and keep from getting too attached to someone you've started dating? [more inside]
posted by vanitas on Aug 19, 2016 - 9 answers

The 33 Year Old (quasi) Virgin

I started out as Emma. But I've turned into Miss Bates. [more inside]
posted by ChickenBear on Aug 19, 2016 - 22 answers

Does it work out to lower your standards?

I'm striking out with dating. I'm an overweight gay guy, but I'm a nice combo of handsome and cute. I love chubby guys, skinny guys, muscly guys, etc. The face is the most important aspect to me. Do relationships ever work out if you date someone you are not particularly attracted to? Can they grow on you? [more inside]
posted by blackzinfandel on Aug 16, 2016 - 19 answers

How do you cope with feeling inadequate while dating with a disability?

As a disabled person, how do you keep your head up when you're dating, and deal with negative self-talk and feelings of inadequacy? Essentially, how do you cope with - or even stop - feeling like, basically, no matter how awesome you might be or how much you accomplish, you're nobody's first choice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2016 - 24 answers

What are reasonable expectations in 2016 for communication, dating-wise?

So I started trying to date again. I haven't really done this in half a decade and I'm trying to ground my expectations about how people communicate in a dating context nowadays. Details below. [more inside]
posted by deathpanels on Aug 11, 2016 - 19 answers

Is my OKCupid profile OK?

I'm getting more serious about OKCupid and I'm not sure if my profile is good enough. I'd really appreciate your overall thoughts, and I have a few specific questions: [more inside]
posted by Chenko on Aug 10, 2016 - 23 answers

Telling him how I feel. When and is it selfish?

I have romantic feelings for my long-time male friend. He's gone abroad for a year, he may stay longer, I am resolved to tell him how I feel. Is this selfish? When should I tell him? [more inside]
posted by kittykat020 on Aug 7, 2016 - 19 answers

How to meet awesome, smart people (especially guys) in UK (Edinburgh)?

I'm a girl in my late 20s, and I'm moving to Edinburgh in a few weeks. I'll be looking for work first and foremost, but I really need to develop a friendship network, and I'd love to date. I haven't done much dating so far, though. What are good ways to meet people (especially single men) of around my own age (maybe 26-35) who are awesome and smart? [more inside]
posted by tangerine_poppies on Aug 6, 2016 - 15 answers

Disclosing mental illness in a new relationship

I am mentally ill and dating someone new. When do you disclose mental illness in a new relationship and how do you do it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 3, 2016 - 7 answers

help me navigate my feelings & needs in an LDR

My boyfriend left less than a week ago, and I've been heartbroken ever since. Is this normal? This is my first serious relationship (I'm 25, he's 28). When we're together things are blissful and perfect. He has affirmed his commitment to me in many ways, but I feel our communication needs may be different. I am trying to understand the root of my unhappiness, as I felt so hopeful when we were together in person. I am also trying to understand whether I am cut out for an LDR in this capacity. Please help. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Aug 3, 2016 - 9 answers

How can I make my dating profile more reflective of who I really am?

I'm getting back into dating but my OKCupid profile belongs to an insecure child. How do I update my profile to reflect the growth I’ve experienced in the last five years? [more inside]
posted by modernserf on Jul 29, 2016 - 10 answers

Only the Lonely Can Play

I’m suffering from excruciating loneliness, and it’s grinding me down. I haven’t had a real relationship in more than six years, and I simply don’t need any more “me” time. Please, could you help me think up some ideas for where I could meet real, live, reasonably youthful, reasonably mentally healthy, reasonably intellectual guys … in person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 28, 2016 - 25 answers

I'm stuck to a "type" in online dating. How can I break out of it?

I like to talk, discuss, debate, make puns, be intentionally clever, gesticulate extensively, and so on. That doesn't mean that I only want to date women who are the same way, but those are the only women I get on with. How do I expand my horizons? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 28, 2016 - 18 answers

I am having a genuinely difficult time getting over a breakup...

How do I move on from this breakup, considering it was such a short time? [more inside]
posted by ladykitty5 on Jul 26, 2016 - 22 answers

Give me feedback on my OKC profile!

I've decided to commit more fully to online dating, and since I am I might as well do a good job of it. Take a look, what can I improve? Link is currently my "homepage" on my mefi profile. [more inside]
posted by coolname on Jul 21, 2016 - 16 answers

What is the difference between giving into something and accepting it?

I've been single for a minute. I met somebody that makes me feel good, act happy, and ticks a lot of my boxes. There are, however, a few differences in our world view and life experiences that are deal breakers for me. I can never see myself dating this person, but we have fun. Do I break it off, or continue feeling good and have a breezy time? Snowflakes inside! [more inside]
posted by Vrai on Jul 21, 2016 - 24 answers

It Seems to Me that "Maybe" Pretty Much Always Means "No"

My (very) new boyfriend told me Friday he isn't sure if he sees himself living with someone or getting married again. Later in the weekend, he backtracked and said he was stressed out about other things, afraid of losing me, and he could be open to it. Is this relationship doomed, or can "not sure" mean something other than "no"? [more inside]
posted by foxonisland on Jul 19, 2016 - 33 answers

How do two depressed, stressed people have a sustainable relationship?

My partner and I both struggle with mental illness in different ways. We have been dating for a year and a half and do pretty well together but sometimes we aren't able to be there for each other or hold back out of fear of burdening the other. How do you practice self care and be a good partner in this kind of an arrangement? How do you confront a partner about habits and actions that might result from their depression, while being cognizant that they are struggling? What's a reasonable expectation for emotional support in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by mmmleaf on Jul 18, 2016 - 4 answers

How to think about a partner and what matters long term

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a bit over 2 years and are in our late twenties. She's ready for marriage, I'm not quite sure what factors matter. I'm a pretty intellectually motivated person, while she is much more care-free and day to day. I know she would be a reliable partner, but I'm afraid I'll always want more than she can give. More details inside! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2016 - 73 answers

Help me be brave

I've got a friend that I do almost everything with. I have realized I'm very attracted to him. Help me be brave and ask him out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2016 - 44 answers

New guy -am I worrying too much?

I am 37, divorced....Recently, a guy from my hometown (same age) contacted me on Facebook...he lives a 4 hour drive from me. We agreed to meet at the halfway point, and our first date went really well. A few days ago he drove down to see me before heading up to camp with his buddies... He drove 10 hours out of his way for me, and stayed overnight. It was an amazing night, we had been talking regularly for 3 weeks, and ended up sleeping together. Now I am wondering if I'm worrying too much about his texting habits? [more inside]
posted by Maggsie97 on Jul 4, 2016 - 27 answers

Separated guy ends it what now?

My divorcing bf of 5mo ended it, saying he wants to fall in love with me and give himself wholeheartedly to me but can't let himself and needs time to heal from his marriage. He messaged next day saying he has set up counselling and will sort everything out, I responded to say he should take the time he needs to heal. He messaged again to say he enjoyed every minute with me and is sorry he's not himself at the moment. Every time he messages it's hard as I miss him but I don't want to cut contact as I hope he'll come back. What should I do?
posted by Anastasia100 on Jun 29, 2016 - 20 answers

The doctor will (not) see you now

I met a guy in November who lives a mile away but works more than half the time on the East Coast. When I'm with him, it's great. He's great. But he's also a top surgeon in a demanding specialty at an understaffed hospital AND he's disorganized and bad at making plans. When he's out East, he's working 16 hours (often more), exhausted, and there's a 2-hour time difference. I get sweet texts and an occasional phone call. When he's "home," he's consulting, flying off to speak at conferences, and trying to see his college-aged children. [more inside]
posted by SockPuppetOfShame on Jun 26, 2016 - 30 answers

Is it ever a good idea to force resolution in dating?

I had a few dates with a guy that I work with but not in the same departments. Even though everything was going well, last date was kind of flat. I get the impression that's the last date we will have. Should I clarify that or just let it fade naturally? [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Jun 23, 2016 - 17 answers

Late 30yr Little Person keep getting hit by Married (fetish) men. Advice

My case is very similar to this woman's story. Otherwise I feel I'm at my wits end regarding this issue. Would appreciate thoughtful answers, as I've asked this in other forums and have gotten some of the jealous lot who say I must be a flirt, I must dress sexy, I'm a hoe, etc. -- which all are not true and are really the opposite. I have strict rules of having male friends to only past work colleagues, classmates and social circles. [more inside]
posted by sam3cat on Jun 17, 2016 - 17 answers

Help me understand myself. Why do I get so anxious?

I get a lot of anxiety from dating (and from my life circumstances), and I'm not sure why that is. I'm trying to narrow down the factors and pinpoint what the deal is and how to move forward. I could use some advice or life-experience stories from other folks. [more inside]
posted by uncannyslacks on Jun 15, 2016 - 11 answers

Was I "getting to know you" too hard on a first date?

A woman, who I met through the gym and who eagerly interacted with me on social media and dating sites, told me the day after a first date (that I initiated) that she felt weird about dating someone from the gym. What did I do/not do/say that completely changed her mind about me? Was I asking too many deep questions for a first date? [more inside]
posted by modernman on Jun 9, 2016 - 67 answers

LDR breakup logistics?

I think it's time for me to breakup with my long distance GF. The "if I should" questions aside, when should I do this, and should I do it in person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 9, 2016 - 17 answers

Help a guy keep his eyes on the prize in dating and romance

I'm a straight man in his mid-40s who has lost the ability to romantically fantasise. After a late start with the business of touching other people, and some relationships with awesome people where I just wasn't having fun, I've gone too cynical and lost sight of the fact that intimacy makes people happy. Are there stories or dramas that will help me imagine a fulfilling love life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 7, 2016 - 6 answers

How to date ethically when you're at the top of a hierarchy?

Everyone says not to do it, but you're going to do it anyway: how to approach dating ethically within a hierarchical community, when you're at the top? I'd like to protect myself, the person I'm interested in, and the other community members who may be affected as much as possible. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 4, 2016 - 15 answers

Co-workers in hate

How to deal with co-worker that you dated and now have to work closely with, but your angst doesn’t stem from having dated, but just from the fact that you know too much about them now and really don’t like them as a person? [more inside]
posted by greta simone on Jun 3, 2016 - 11 answers

How do nonexclusive relationships work?

I'm in the process of getting divorced and am seeing a couple different dudes. I like them both a lot but am in no place for a serious relationship. My soon to be ex is the only serious adult relationship I've ever had so I totally don't know what I'm doing. [more inside]
posted by Janet Snakehole on May 30, 2016 - 12 answers

How do set appropriate boundaries in a new relationship?

I'm in a wonderful new relationship but I need help with communicating, setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries and getting the space I need while getting to know this person better. [more inside]
posted by smurfzambo on May 30, 2016 - 10 answers

Kiss attempted. Kiss rejected. Is there any hope?

Women of Metafilter : have you ever given a guy the head-dodge (or the cheek-turn) at the end of a first date, and then actually wanted them to ask you out on a second date? [more inside]
posted by Sloop John B on May 25, 2016 - 42 answers

Dating IRL with few social connections

I’m a 31 year old woman and I want to expand my options beyond just online dating for meeting men and finding someone. [more inside]
posted by amya on May 23, 2016 - 17 answers

How does a woman date online safely?

Is it too much to ask for a full real name and date of birth before meeting so that I can do a background check on them? [more inside]
posted by rancher on May 22, 2016 - 75 answers

Match Vs OkC... which for long term relationship IN NYC specifically!

The age old question of which online dating site is better often has differing answers based on location.. So what about in NYC specifically? [more inside]
posted by manderin on May 20, 2016 - 11 answers

Ex's grandma just passed away. Should I text him?

I was dating this 23-yo guy for about 5 months but we were never official. We broke up in March because I wanted the relationship to progress and he didn't. Since then, we still continue to talk and we hang out as friends about once a month. He knows that I want us to get back together since I've initiated us hanging out the past few times. He's told me he enjoys my company and he's considering giving us another chance. The last time we met, he told me he'd text me when he's done with his final exams so we can meet up. I just found out through FB that his grandmother just passed away. I never got to meet any of his family but he has talked about them before. Would it be okay if I send a text sharing my condolence? I really do feel bad for him. Or should I just wait and see if he texts me to meet up and then tell him in person?
posted by missybitsy on May 16, 2016 - 29 answers

How to ask women out without seeming creepy or desperate

I am single after an 8 year relationship. I was engaged. I have no idea how to navigate today's dating landscape. Most of my past relationships have developed out of having regular contact with someone for a long time and getting to know them and become friends. Details inside.... [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on May 11, 2016 - 50 answers

How to navigate dating thoughtfully when it's not one person at a time?

I’m starting to navigate the on-line dating world, and from what I understand, it’s normal (and maybe even preferable) to interact with several people at once, meet them and then narrow it down, so to speak. But I seem to have a problem with this. [more inside]
posted by LakeDream on May 11, 2016 - 17 answers

How to ask out my TA? … when we’ve already made out?

How to ask out my TA? … when we’ve already made out? My judgment may be slightly clouded by, um, hormones. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2016 - 14 answers

Short relationship and he asked for space to think about things

I feel pretty upset that this guy I've been dating for 1.5 months (and known for longer) has suddenly decided he needs space while I was away. He has every right to choose to stop seeing me but we see each other frequently in our social circle and where he works/works out at and will continue to for another 3 months, so I told him I would like to talk to him about it in person. [more inside]
posted by korrasamus on May 10, 2016 - 18 answers

Healthily approaching close friendships with a bit of attraction in them

I'm a guy and have this lovely female friend of mine who I get along with fantastically. The two of us have a supportive, companionable friendship, and are seeing each other frequently; we're both really enjoying the dynamic we've been having. For special snowflake reasons, though, it's better that I don't endeavor towards dating her for the meanwhile. Please give me your perspective: help me to manage my expectations to better maintain this friendship. [more inside]
posted by a good beginning on May 6, 2016 - 19 answers

Is my OKCupid okay, cupids?

I'm hoping for some feedback on my OKCupid profile, general and specific. [more inside]
posted by sleevener on May 5, 2016 - 23 answers

Not another narcissist? (covert)

I recently started dating a guy who seems great in a lot of ways, but a friend recently suggested he might be a "covert narcissist". Both of my previous relationships have been with overt narcissists and ended pretty badly, so naturally I'm not happy to hear this but am willing to consider it a possibility. [more inside]
posted by seraph9 on May 2, 2016 - 19 answers

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