2314 posts tagged with dating.
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Give me feedback on my OKC profile!

I've decided to commit more fully to online dating, and since I am I might as well do a good job of it. Take a look, what can I improve? Link is currently my "homepage" on my mefi profile. [more inside]
posted by coolname on Jul 21, 2016 - 16 answers

What is the difference between giving into something and accepting it?

I've been single for a minute. I met somebody that makes me feel good, act happy, and ticks a lot of my boxes. There are, however, a few differences in our world view and life experiences that are deal breakers for me. I can never see myself dating this person, but we have fun. Do I break it off, or continue feeling good and have a breezy time? Snowflakes inside! [more inside]
posted by Vrai on Jul 21, 2016 - 24 answers

It Seems to Me that "Maybe" Pretty Much Always Means "No"

My (very) new boyfriend told me Friday he isn't sure if he sees himself living with someone or getting married again. Later in the weekend, he backtracked and said he was stressed out about other things, afraid of losing me, and he could be open to it. Is this relationship doomed, or can "not sure" mean something other than "no"? [more inside]
posted by foxonisland on Jul 19, 2016 - 32 answers

How do two depressed, stressed people have a sustainable relationship?

My partner and I both struggle with mental illness in different ways. We have been dating for a year and a half and do pretty well together but sometimes we aren't able to be there for each other or hold back out of fear of burdening the other. How do you practice self care and be a good partner in this kind of an arrangement? How do you confront a partner about habits and actions that might result from their depression, while being cognizant that they are struggling? What's a reasonable expectation for emotional support in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by mmmleaf on Jul 18, 2016 - 4 answers

How to think about a partner and what matters long term

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a bit over 2 years and are in our late twenties. She's ready for marriage, I'm not quite sure what factors matter. I'm a pretty intellectually motivated person, while she is much more care-free and day to day. I know she would be a reliable partner, but I'm afraid I'll always want more than she can give. More details inside! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2016 - 73 answers

Help me be brave

I've got a friend that I do almost everything with. I have realized I'm very attracted to him. Help me be brave and ask him out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2016 - 44 answers

New guy -am I worrying too much?

I am 37, divorced....Recently, a guy from my hometown (same age) contacted me on Facebook...he lives a 4 hour drive from me. We agreed to meet at the halfway point, and our first date went really well. A few days ago he drove down to see me before heading up to camp with his buddies... He drove 10 hours out of his way for me, and stayed overnight. It was an amazing night, we had been talking regularly for 3 weeks, and ended up sleeping together. Now I am wondering if I'm worrying too much about his texting habits? [more inside]
posted by Maggsie97 on Jul 4, 2016 - 26 answers

Separated guy ends it what now?

My divorcing bf of 5mo ended it, saying he wants to fall in love with me and give himself wholeheartedly to me but can't let himself and needs time to heal from his marriage. He messaged next day saying he has set up counselling and will sort everything out, I responded to say he should take the time he needs to heal. He messaged again to say he enjoyed every minute with me and is sorry he's not himself at the moment. Every time he messages it's hard as I miss him but I don't want to cut contact as I hope he'll come back. What should I do?
posted by Anastasia100 on Jun 29, 2016 - 20 answers

The doctor will (not) see you now

I met a guy in November who lives a mile away but works more than half the time on the East Coast. When I'm with him, it's great. He's great. But he's also a top surgeon in a demanding specialty at an understaffed hospital AND he's disorganized and bad at making plans. When he's out East, he's working 16 hours (often more), exhausted, and there's a 2-hour time difference. I get sweet texts and an occasional phone call. When he's "home," he's consulting, flying off to speak at conferences, and trying to see his college-aged children. [more inside]
posted by SockPuppetOfShame on Jun 26, 2016 - 30 answers

Is it ever a good idea to force resolution in dating?

I had a few dates with a guy that I work with but not in the same departments. Even though everything was going well, last date was kind of flat. I get the impression that's the last date we will have. Should I clarify that or just let it fade naturally? [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Jun 23, 2016 - 17 answers

Late 30yr Little Person keep getting hit by Married (fetish) men. Advice

My case is very similar to this woman's story. Otherwise I feel I'm at my wits end regarding this issue. Would appreciate thoughtful answers, as I've asked this in other forums and have gotten some of the jealous lot who say I must be a flirt, I must dress sexy, I'm a hoe, etc. -- which all are not true and are really the opposite. I have strict rules of having male friends to only past work colleagues, classmates and social circles. [more inside]
posted by sam3cat on Jun 17, 2016 - 17 answers

Help me understand myself. Why do I get so anxious?

I get a lot of anxiety from dating (and from my life circumstances), and I'm not sure why that is. I'm trying to narrow down the factors and pinpoint what the deal is and how to move forward. I could use some advice or life-experience stories from other folks. [more inside]
posted by uncannyslacks on Jun 15, 2016 - 11 answers

Was I "getting to know you" too hard on a first date?

A woman, who I met through the gym and who eagerly interacted with me on social media and dating sites, told me the day after a first date (that I initiated) that she felt weird about dating someone from the gym. What did I do/not do/say that completely changed her mind about me? Was I asking too many deep questions for a first date? [more inside]
posted by modernman on Jun 9, 2016 - 67 answers

LDR breakup logistics?

I think it's time for me to breakup with my long distance GF. The "if I should" questions aside, when should I do this, and should I do it in person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 9, 2016 - 17 answers

Help a guy keep his eyes on the prize in dating and romance

I'm a straight man in his mid-40s who has lost the ability to romantically fantasise. After a late start with the business of touching other people, and some relationships with awesome people where I just wasn't having fun, I've gone too cynical and lost sight of the fact that intimacy makes people happy. Are there stories or dramas that will help me imagine a fulfilling love life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 7, 2016 - 6 answers

How to date ethically when you're at the top of a hierarchy?

Everyone says not to do it, but you're going to do it anyway: how to approach dating ethically within a hierarchical community, when you're at the top? I'd like to protect myself, the person I'm interested in, and the other community members who may be affected as much as possible. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 4, 2016 - 15 answers

Co-workers in hate

How to deal with co-worker that you dated and now have to work closely with, but your angst doesn’t stem from having dated, but just from the fact that you know too much about them now and really don’t like them as a person? [more inside]
posted by greta simone on Jun 3, 2016 - 11 answers

How do nonexclusive relationships work?

I'm in the process of getting divorced and am seeing a couple different dudes. I like them both a lot but am in no place for a serious relationship. My soon to be ex is the only serious adult relationship I've ever had so I totally don't know what I'm doing. [more inside]
posted by Janet Snakehole on May 30, 2016 - 12 answers

How do set appropriate boundaries in a new relationship?

I'm in a wonderful new relationship but I need help with communicating, setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries and getting the space I need while getting to know this person better. [more inside]
posted by smurfzambo on May 30, 2016 - 10 answers

Kiss attempted. Kiss rejected. Is there any hope?

Women of Metafilter : have you ever given a guy the head-dodge (or the cheek-turn) at the end of a first date, and then actually wanted them to ask you out on a second date? [more inside]
posted by Sloop John B on May 25, 2016 - 42 answers

Dating IRL with few social connections

I’m a 31 year old woman and I want to expand my options beyond just online dating for meeting men and finding someone. [more inside]
posted by amya on May 23, 2016 - 17 answers

How does a woman date online safely?

Is it too much to ask for a full real name and date of birth before meeting so that I can do a background check on them? [more inside]
posted by rancher on May 22, 2016 - 75 answers

Match Vs OkC... which for long term relationship IN NYC specifically!

The age old question of which online dating site is better often has differing answers based on location.. So what about in NYC specifically? [more inside]
posted by manderin on May 20, 2016 - 11 answers

Ex's grandma just passed away. Should I text him?

I was dating this 23-yo guy for about 5 months but we were never official. We broke up in March because I wanted the relationship to progress and he didn't. Since then, we still continue to talk and we hang out as friends about once a month. He knows that I want us to get back together since I've initiated us hanging out the past few times. He's told me he enjoys my company and he's considering giving us another chance. The last time we met, he told me he'd text me when he's done with his final exams so we can meet up. I just found out through FB that his grandmother just passed away. I never got to meet any of his family but he has talked about them before. Would it be okay if I send a text sharing my condolence? I really do feel bad for him. Or should I just wait and see if he texts me to meet up and then tell him in person?
posted by missybitsy on May 16, 2016 - 29 answers

How to ask women out without seeming creepy or desperate

I am single after an 8 year relationship. I was engaged. I have no idea how to navigate today's dating landscape. Most of my past relationships have developed out of having regular contact with someone for a long time and getting to know them and become friends. Details inside.... [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on May 11, 2016 - 50 answers

How to navigate dating thoughtfully when it's not one person at a time?

I’m starting to navigate the on-line dating world, and from what I understand, it’s normal (and maybe even preferable) to interact with several people at once, meet them and then narrow it down, so to speak. But I seem to have a problem with this. [more inside]
posted by LakeDream on May 11, 2016 - 17 answers

How to ask out my TA? … when we’ve already made out?

How to ask out my TA? … when we’ve already made out? My judgment may be slightly clouded by, um, hormones. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2016 - 14 answers

Short relationship and he asked for space to think about things

I feel pretty upset that this guy I've been dating for 1.5 months (and known for longer) has suddenly decided he needs space while I was away. He has every right to choose to stop seeing me but we see each other frequently in our social circle and where he works/works out at and will continue to for another 3 months, so I told him I would like to talk to him about it in person. [more inside]
posted by korrasamus on May 10, 2016 - 18 answers

Healthily approaching close friendships with a bit of attraction in them

I'm a guy and have this lovely female friend of mine who I get along with fantastically. The two of us have a supportive, companionable friendship, and are seeing each other frequently; we're both really enjoying the dynamic we've been having. For special snowflake reasons, though, it's better that I don't endeavor towards dating her for the meanwhile. Please give me your perspective: help me to manage my expectations to better maintain this friendship. [more inside]
posted by a good beginning on May 6, 2016 - 19 answers

Is my OKCupid okay, cupids?

I'm hoping for some feedback on my OKCupid profile, general and specific. [more inside]
posted by sleevener on May 5, 2016 - 23 answers

Not another narcissist? (covert)

I recently started dating a guy who seems great in a lot of ways, but a friend recently suggested he might be a "covert narcissist". Both of my previous relationships have been with overt narcissists and ended pretty badly, so naturally I'm not happy to hear this but am willing to consider it a possibility. [more inside]
posted by seraph9 on May 2, 2016 - 19 answers

Asking Ex About Why He is Using a Picture of Us on a Dating App

I happened upon my ex's profile on a dating app and of course, I looked at it. I was completely shaken to see that he is using a picture of US as the last of his 6 pictures. I was upset and in a pretty passive way tried to ask him about it through text, which he has not responded to. We have plans to meet up next week and I'm wondering how to address this now. [more inside]
posted by cristalina on Apr 30, 2016 - 28 answers

Too exhausted/hung over/wrecked for a date?

Short version: Started seeing great gal, we're 3 dates in and have a 4th coming up. Banter is great, sexy talk awesome, pretty frequent texting (every 2-3 days, initiated by either). Thing is, she's now canceled/re-scheduled 2 dates on account of being... too tired. Really? Long version inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2016 - 33 answers

Am I too picky when I date? Why am I still single?

Lately I've been wondering if I am too picky and if I have too high standards, and dumping people before giving them a chance. [more inside]
posted by pando11 on Apr 27, 2016 - 17 answers

Have I made a mistake?

I broke up with my first real long term boyfriend about a month ago, but it was dragged out for a few weeks so only unofficially ended with no contact a few days ago. [more inside]
posted by izz97 on Apr 26, 2016 - 9 answers

How do I talk to attractive people?

I'm having success with online dating insofar as I've been lucky enough to go on dates with people I'm very physically attracted to! However, I turn into a terrible conversationalist with them when I'm on dates: I talk too fast, spiral off on tangents, try too hard to impress, fail to make decent eye contact and generally act like a schoolkid with a huge crush rather than the intelligent, mature adult I like to think I am. As a result, things tend to disintegrate after a couple of dates, because I'm not really being myself. How can I overcome this? [more inside]
posted by Panthalassa on Apr 24, 2016 - 12 answers

What are the most revealing signs you're not into someone?

Besides the very obvious that leave no space for doubt, I'm mainly talking about those ambivalent situations when you're not quite sure if it's you, them or the timing. [more inside]
posted by ariadne_88 on Apr 23, 2016 - 36 answers

Is "What's your sign?" a sign to move on?

On a second date that generally seemed to be going very well, she asked: "What's your sign?" I care a lot about skepticism and rationality, and I think astrology is a baseless pseudoscience. Should this one thing be such a dealbreaker as to make me walk away from a connection that would otherwise seem to have potential? [more inside]
posted by jejune on Apr 17, 2016 - 101 answers

Should I bother trying to find a submissive partner while I'm poor?

Should I bother trying to find a submissive partner while I'm poor? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2016 - 8 answers

Early Online Dating: How Upfront?

Online dating is horrible and feelings fleeting. How to deal? How aggressively upfront can I be? [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Apr 14, 2016 - 18 answers

New relationship good practices

Please give me your best practices for starting a relationship off on the right foot. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2016 - 10 answers

What do you like to do for fun?

I started online dating recently and this is the question that I get asked often. Or "what do you do in your spare time?". I actually don't do much. I "think" rather than "do". How to even answer this? [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Apr 10, 2016 - 28 answers

New "relationship" moving too fast

I started seeing this guy 2.5 weeks ago. He's great. We click really well, he's incredibly nice and funny and sweet and all else. But in that time we've gone from just meeting to knowing a ton of intimate details about each other's lives (mental health problems, his father's alcoholism, his sister's self-harm) and cuddling and kissing at his place for eight hours straight. It's not like it's horribly unreasonable but I'm overwhelmed and scared and need help setting limits/managing my emotions. [more inside]
posted by Amy93 on Apr 9, 2016 - 20 answers

Flirting? Via messaging? ...help?

Well this is new to me: I actually contacted a real-life crush online (!), but have no idea what to do next. Please advise. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2016 - 7 answers

How do you know if a woman really likes you and is open to dating you?

This is probably something I should have figured out at 17 rather than 27, but here I am. My own experiences with women haven't been really positive. I was always a bit shy when I was younger. My dad was abusive so I ended up clinging to my mother. My mom is a good woman but she can be a bit controlling and overbearing at times. Plus she was a conservative muslim so it's not like she ever encouraged me to date and indeed actively discouraged me from doing so. [more inside]
posted by Dynamo05 on Apr 8, 2016 - 40 answers

Help me not be a kissing bully, because I really want to kiss you.

I really want to kiss someone NOW. I don't want to make the same impulsive, intense (?) mistake that I made in the past, but I'm also too old (late 40s) to wait around passively and wonder. I worry that I'm developing feelings that may not actually be reciprocated despite obvious attraction and personal interest. So I need to find out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2016 - 21 answers

I'd love to spend SOME time with you.... Introverts and dating?

I'd like to hear from other introverts about your experiences with dating and burn-out. Is having it at all (or even a few months in) a bad sign for long-term compatibility? Or just a sign that the relationship is moving too fast for you? Or do you set strong boundaries on your time and just trust that the right person will understand? [more inside]
posted by seraph9 on Apr 6, 2016 - 19 answers

Should I Even Date?

I don't know if I even want a relationship. How do I find out? [more inside]
posted by zchyrs on Apr 5, 2016 - 11 answers

Gay man in a relationship which could be going better

I'm a gay man in a relationship with a closeted man. We've been dating for a few months, going out to dinner and to movies, texting each other for an hour or two every night, talking about all sorts of things ... but things could be going better. (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2016 - 20 answers

wanting to want me ain't the real thing

Help me define and communicate my own needs with my sporadically emotionally unavailable new girlfriend. [more inside]
posted by missmary6 on Mar 29, 2016 - 16 answers

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