2210 posts tagged with dating.
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Taking a break from dating when you're lonely and have no friends.

I want to take a long break from dating to get to know myself better. The thing is, I don't have any in person friends and am very lonely. I mostly just hang out with my Mom. How do I keep myself from dating again just to fill the loneliness? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Nov 26, 2015 - 17 answers

Do I need to debrief this brief relationship?

Long story short, a guy I met online sent me a text saying that he was in love with me, after our first date. I talked to him about it and he seemed to understand that it was too much too soon and it made me uncomfortable. It kept happening (he was texting, emailing, calling, talking about how much he missed me and about "us"), all within a month. During that time, he gave me a beautiful piece of art. About a week later, I broke it off. Now he's calling me asking for the piece of art back and asking what went wrong. [more inside]
posted by bright and shiny on Nov 24, 2015 - 45 answers

It's not you, it's me, no, it's you.

I went out with a guy a few months ago. It didn't work out and for some reason I'm still puzzled by and dwelling at times on his behavior. Was it him? Was it me? Wtf. [more inside]
posted by a knot unknown on Nov 24, 2015 - 22 answers

How do we improve our intellectual connection?

I’m dating a man who is my kindred spirit in many ways. However, we have been dating for a year now, and I have felt over most of this time a sense of yearning for challenging conversation that I just don’t get with him. How have you seen people develop their critical thinking, abstract reasoning, and complex verbal expression abilities as adults? Conversely, if you have found happiness being with someone with whom you don’t have an intellectual connection, how have you managed around this on an everyday basis? [more inside]
posted by forasong on Nov 23, 2015 - 88 answers

Remedial Dating Tips for Newbies in Small Cities

I separated from my husband earlier this year after over a decade of marriage and have been living alone for a few months. I went to a party last night and a guy caught my eye - he's a friend of mutual friends and I realized later on that I had seen him at another event previously this year. But I didn't really have a chance to chat with him. Asked a friend what his story was via text after I got home and she said he was really great and "recently not engaged". This friend pointed me to his FB profile and it seems like we might have a lot in common. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 23, 2015 - 6 answers

Anxious girlfriend bringing me down - can this be stopped or prevented?

My girlfriend has anxiety. My last girlfriend did too, as did the one before her and the one before her. What is it about me that's attracting anxious people, and how can I change it? And how can I best handle my girlfriend's anxiety without getting caught up in a caretaker role? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2015 - 34 answers

He said he'd text me more often but he didn't, should I move on?

Hello everyone, I've been dating this 23 yo grad school student that I met online for the past 6 weeks. We've been going out once a week (6 dates total). We've kissed but haven't been intimate yet. The dates have been fun and we both seem to enjoy each other's company. The only problem is that we barely communicate in between dates. He would only text me to make plan for the date and sometimes we would go for 3-4 days without talking to each other. [more inside]
posted by missybitsy on Nov 17, 2015 - 21 answers

Early 30s, male, NYC area. How can I date anyone?

Hello all, I'm having some trouble in the dating world. I'm in my early 30s and male. I'm not rich, don't have an excellent career, and haven't traveled the world. I'm educated and make an OK living, but that doesn't seem to be enough for the women who live here. [more inside]
posted by gehenna_lion on Nov 17, 2015 - 63 answers

When should I reveal a minor disability to a potential mate?

I have a minor disability that limits my mobility somewhat. It's not immediately visible, so you wouldn't know about it unless I told you. I'm just now starting to date again. At what point should I tell a potential mate that I have this disability, and what is a good way to address the subject? [more inside]
posted by Sloop John B on Nov 16, 2015 - 24 answers

Try A Little Tenderness

How can I feel more comfortable around men, and find men who are gentle and solid and who I might like to date (as a queer/bi trans woman)? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on Nov 14, 2015 - 10 answers

Is he losing interest?

We have been dating since early September and he has so far been really decent. He said he was going to make me dinner this week but hasn't spoken to me since Saturday. What has happened? [more inside]
posted by akita on Nov 12, 2015 - 37 answers

Snapped at friend-ish for standing me up--am I verbally abusive?

A guy I dated briefly canceled literally a minute before we were supposed to meet for dinner. He asked for a raincheck. I said some choice words that I now regret. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Nov 7, 2015 - 31 answers

Tips for online dating in the UK

I'm wondering what forms of online dating are most popular in the UK. I joined OKCupid but have only gotten copy-and-paste messages from creepy dudes and I get the impression that maybe this website is not as popular here as it is in the US (though I haven't used it in the US). Have dating websites become outdated? Is everyone on Tinder? Is Tinder only used for hooking up? Any thoughts or experiences with the current online dating scene would be appreciated.
posted by poilkj on Nov 7, 2015 - 16 answers

Advice for dating someone with clinical depression

Most of the posts I found here were by posters suffering from depression themselves. I'm interested in those perspectives (what a partner can do to help) but primarily those of people who've been in relationships with a depressed person, but aren't depressed themselves. More specifics inside. [more inside]
posted by ism on Nov 6, 2015 - 24 answers

Getting body image issues out of my head: Dating while fat

So I am an intelligent, funny, kind, 30-year-old fat woman who generally has a healthy and pragmatic attitude about being fat. I felt constantly shitty about not being thin when I was younger, but whatever the wider world thinks, I know being fat doesn't mean I'm not pretty, or that I'm lazy, or whatever. But the negative self-talk, fueled by cultural narratives and negative experiences, rears it ugly head while dating sometimes. I want to get that voice out of my head. [more inside]
posted by Squalor Victoria on Oct 26, 2015 - 18 answers

How to rebuild your confidence after a stream of rejections?

I've recently had a stream of dating-related rejections. It's gotten pretty frustrating and I've now started to see rejection as a given. How do I rebuild my confidence and get back on the horse? [more inside]
posted by sockandawe on Oct 24, 2015 - 6 answers

Should I continue seeing a guy who just wants to have fun for now?

I've been going on dates with a guy I met from a dating app. He's in medical school so he has a busy schedule. We've seen each other 3x and we kissed on the last date. During the last date, I asked him what he's looking for and he said he wants someone to go out with and enjoy his time with outside of school. However, he doesn't know if he wants a relationship or not (ie. short term, long term). [more inside]
posted by missybitsy on Oct 19, 2015 - 31 answers

A web of deceit and misdirection, or, how to ruin two relationships

I've been dating a lovely woman for almost 4 years this fall but, within the past year, have developed an on-again-off-again romantic relationship with a former coworker. I feel the later has developed to a point that it is make-or-break while the former continues along without hiccup. I have a huge number of conflicting feelings... [more inside]
posted by landofthefree on Oct 18, 2015 - 25 answers

Nice guy is nice. Also, texting a lot.

A guy I started talking to on a dating website texts me continually after I leave work in the evenings, and now wants to talk on the phone before our first date. He's been SUPER nice and he's clearly psyched. But I feel suffocated, and our first date isn't even for another 3 days. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 14, 2015 - 43 answers

Dating in NYC?

No, seriously, why am I having zero luck? I ended a long-term relationship in June. I'm still getting over it, but I want to get back on that damn horse. I moved to NYC for grad school in August, and I have had zero (literally, 0) luck with men since the breakup. [more inside]
posted by Ragini on Oct 12, 2015 - 47 answers

Delayed Dating

Is dating in your 30s more difficult than in your 20s? [more inside]
posted by sprezzy on Oct 8, 2015 - 18 answers

What's it gonna be?

Do I get back together with my long time friend and ex and "see how it goes" despite him being at a crossroads in his life and not knowing what he wants or when he'll be emotionally available? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 8, 2015 - 33 answers

Should I text the guy to confirm/plan the date?

I met this guy online about a week ago. We haven't texted much but he suggested we meet up in person this Tuesday. Two days ago, I texted him asking if he's still on and he said he's looking forward to it. Today is Monday evening and no plan has been made as of now. Should I text him and ask what the plan is or should I wait for him to text me to make plans? Thanks for your input.
posted by missybitsy on Oct 5, 2015 - 29 answers

Bipolar: When to tell a date

I met a wonderful man who is smitten with me, and I with him. We have been talking on the phone for two weeks (we met online), and have had four fabulous, fun dates. He expresses that he really likes me. He is 37 and I am 30. He has been married before, and I asked him why they got divorced, and he explained to me that she developed bipolar disorder I with schizophrenic tendencies about 3 years into their marriage, and she could not get stabilized. She had multiple trips to the psych ward while he was in med school, and it was really hard on him. He was studying to be an anesthesiologist and the final straw was when his wife called his residency hospital and told them he was poisoning her with intravenous drugs. Well, that would all be fine and good, except...I have bipolar II. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Oct 5, 2015 - 24 answers

How did this person find out my address?

Super creeped out how a guy who only had my first name, cell phone number not billed to my address, town I live in, and birth year could have discovered my mailing address. Help me protect my privacy better in the future! [more inside]
posted by shortskirtlongjacket on Oct 3, 2015 - 27 answers

The Waiting Phase?

Can my virginity be scaring my love interest away? I am currently seeing someone that I really like but I also happen to be really insecure - I'm also slightly scared that me being a virgin is scaring him away. He says he wants to take it slow but is that code for him wanting to fade me out? Any advice/relevant anecdotes for getting through it? [more inside]
posted by Trusted Sidekick on Oct 1, 2015 - 19 answers

Am I being creepy?

I picked out a guy from afar that I thought was cute, found out his name, and added him on Instagram. Is it creepy for me to start messaging him? [more inside]
posted by sweetshine on Sep 30, 2015 - 39 answers

How often should I visit my boyfriend's parents?

Fairly self-explanatory, but a few details within. [more inside]
posted by easter queen on Sep 27, 2015 - 25 answers

My Boyfriend is a Divorcing Dad: What is Appropriate?

I've never dated a dad before -- and now have a boyfriend with two children whose divorce isn't final. They are a very "low boundaries" family and I'm having a hard time dealing with what is said, discussed in front of his children... [more inside]
posted by alice_curiouse on Sep 26, 2015 - 31 answers

Should I go out with all 3 guys who happen to know each other?

I'm currently in a weird predicament. I recently started talking to 3 guys off of a dating app (not Tinder) at around the same time. They all asked me out for a first date. Through our exchanges, I notice that all 3 go to the same school together and happen to be in the same group of friends. I even saw a few photos of them together. All 3 have asked me to go on coffee or dinner date with them. I don't know what I should do because I haven't met any in personso I don't know them yet to write anyone off. At the same time, I don't want to be labeled as a serial dater if I agree to go out with all 3 of them. I'm afraid of the awkwardness when they later find out. What do you think I should do? Their ages range from 22-27 by the way.
posted by missybitsy on Sep 24, 2015 - 47 answers

Help me find Eternal Sunshine for my not so Spotless Mind

My 8 year relationship just ended and I am trying to figure out how to move on. I know all of the general stuff from other threads and articles, but there are a few specific things that I am having a hard time with. Details inside [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Sep 24, 2015 - 22 answers

A hot date with a ball of wool?

I enjoy knitting while watching TV. I sometimes enjoy watching TV or a movie with an SO. Sometimes I like doing those things together. Is this going to be a problem in most relationships? How do I find someone who wouldn't be weirded out by that? [more inside]
posted by blerghamot on Sep 20, 2015 - 51 answers

Healthy Expectations for New Dating Situation?

I am six months out of a 3.5 years serious relationship (and very traumatizing break up). I've been dating a new person for two weeks. The dates themselves are great and he shows many signs of wishing to slowly move forward with me. However, I am very anxious between dates. He doesn't text me much between dates and is self-admittedly not a "planner" (e.g. we will have a date but he doesn't confirm day-of; just texts that he is coming over 30 minutes before the agreed-upon time). I can't tell if the anxiety is from (1) normal new relationship feelings; (2) my gut telling me this guy is not into me enough; or (3) my own desperation to feel like I have the stability and constant contact of a LTR again. What are your stories of the first month or two of your own relationships? I have never dated quite like this (we met online) and I want to be more okay with the "dance" and ensuing miscommunications/awkwardness. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Sep 14, 2015 - 13 answers

Shy, inexperienced woman needs help getting things started with shy guy

I'm a woman in my mid-30s with very little dating or relationship experience. Several months ago I met a younger guy (early-mid 20s) and we've become gradually closer. We now exchange texts most days and have recently spent time alone together on a couple of occasions in frustratingly ambiguous contexts. (Is this a date? Search me.) I'm reasonably sure he's interested in me, and I'm positively sure I'm interested in him. But I need help moving things beyond this weird limbo stage. [more inside]
posted by SoLongLivesThis on Sep 13, 2015 - 19 answers

"I am poor, but not for long, ok?"

I am dating a young woman with whom I have shared several hours of stimulating conversation. I found her thoughtful and considerate, and apparently there is mutual interest in getting to know each other better. The problem is that if things keep progressing, soon I'll invite her to my place, and I am not proud of where I currently live. Is there anything I can say or do to avoid being negatively judged by my temporarily poor housing conditions? [more inside]
posted by samufer on Sep 10, 2015 - 44 answers

Should I begin a relationship with my ex-girlfriend in a new city?

The woman I dated for the last two years (with unwanted break-ups in between due to circumstances outside of our control [being in different locations]) might now be re-entering my life and my city. We're both considering getting back together, and I'm certain we will be happy for the near-future if we do, but I wonder if doing so will cause me to get stuck. Am I justified in thinking this way? What have your experiences been? [more inside]
posted by lalunamel on Sep 7, 2015 - 18 answers

I didn't expect to spend Sunday bawling on the couch

Did he ghost on me? Am I jumping to conclusions? How do I move forward? [more inside]
posted by topoisomerase on Sep 6, 2015 - 31 answers

Don't be a stranger

Recently I've gone on several dates where we got along really well online and talked for hours in person. However, they ended with a hug and silence afterward, which I'm disappointed about. How can I figure out if we both want to go past one-shot platonic meetings, and how do we get to where we want to go? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2015 - 14 answers

Unsure if I should continue seeing someone

Is it wise to romantically/emotionally invest by dating someone knowing that they are currently not fully settled or stable in their life situation? [more inside]
posted by sara479 on Sep 2, 2015 - 9 answers

How to respond to guy's negative comments about his kids/family?

So I recently met and started dating a guy (let's call him Chris) who makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Which is good! I could go on about it, but that's not really what the question's about, so...just be assured that we're having fun and he's been nothing but kind to me so far. But I have noticed, I guess enough times to notice, him not speaking positively of other people in his life. I don't know how to respond when he makes negative comments, especially if it has anything to do with his (young adult) kids, for various awkward reasons. [more inside]
posted by picardythird on Aug 31, 2015 - 24 answers

I Don't Like You That Way: Love, Sex and Dating On Four Wheels

What do you do about your fear of intimacy and your lack of potential sutiors when you're a virgin at 25 and universally held to have the sexuality of a potato? [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Aug 30, 2015 - 35 answers

How to meet men as an introverted, attractive, "successful" 20-30s woman

I'm an attractive, successful, and put-together woman in my late 20s, and find it impossible to meet men I'm interested in. I have zero social circle in my newish city, live and work with older people with families, and have had no luck online. I'm also not naturally outgoing so don't meet people at random places. Not desperate but just want to find a good person to share my life with. What's a girl to do? [more inside]
posted by ribboncake on Aug 30, 2015 - 34 answers

How do I date feminist-leaning women online?

I'm single (straight male, 32) and starting to date women online again. I tend to have much better relationships with feminist-leaning women than with women that believe in traditional gender roles because they match better with my personal feelings about gender. How do I represent this in either my online dating profile or messages without coming across as awkward? I tend to overthink these kind of things. [more inside]
posted by JZig on Aug 30, 2015 - 16 answers

Unemployed/transition phase - how to handle future dating issues?

How should I let someone know whom I'm potentially dating that I'm unemployed and going through a transition phase in life? Should I even be dating? Any advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 29, 2015 - 16 answers

The best way to structure a relationship hiatus?

I have a relationship that is going phenomenally, 6 months deep. We have the same values, we're excited to support what the other is doing, and we have compatible goals for our future.... but he never got a chance to date as a single person. How to proceed? [more inside]
posted by thelastpolarbear on Aug 29, 2015 - 39 answers

So...why are you single?

I am in mid 30s and not married with no children. I constantly get this question from random people I meet, co-workers, relatives -you get the picture (all married). It annoys me and quite literally ruins my day. What's the best way to answer it? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Aug 29, 2015 - 69 answers

Putting my best virtual foot forward

Seeking online dating advice! [more inside]
posted by sprezzy on Aug 26, 2015 - 8 answers

Should I give him another chance?

I met this guy on OKcupid who seemed really, really perfect for me on paper. We talked for a couple weeks before he suggested meeting in person. I was nervous - I didn't want to mess it up since we seemed SO compatible. But the date was... awkward. Very awkward. He was clearly nervous and we just couldn't hold out a conversation. Should I give him another chance? [more inside]
posted by Amy93 on Aug 23, 2015 - 62 answers

dating with a messy past

How do I date with a promiscuous/unhealthy past and lots of issues about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 22, 2015 - 25 answers

Is it OK to not want to "date", but still have an OKCupid profile up?

Is it OK to not want to "date", but still have an OKCupid profile up? How do I go about this? [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Aug 17, 2015 - 9 answers

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