Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with date

Does a potentially 9 year old bottle of Pine-Sol still work?

defmute — Mon, 06 May 2013 11:04:28 -0800

I wanna take a bath but the tub hasn't been cleaned in years. I've got a bottle of Pine-Sol but the label says © 2004 and there are now Pine-Sol "crystals" sitting at the bottom of the bottle (they're like Pop Rocks). Will this bottle of Pine-Sol still do it's job / could it be harmful to use at this point? I've also got a bottle of 409 (© 2004) and a bottle of Clorox (© 2002). Both of these bottles don't have crystals in em and look/smell fine.

did they think we were restaurant critics or something?

fromageball — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 07:00:21 -0800

I normally only get free stuff at restaurants when they've messed something up, so I am wondering why this restaurant was particularly hospitable to me and my date. I had dinner at a restaurant in nyc on a weeknight on a date(just the two of us) and we were seated right away, the food came pretty quickly, was good, there were no problems at all.

At the end we had dessert and they brought us a giant fruit platter "on the house" and then a couple of digestifs as well.

I'm not complaining, but the only time a restaurant has done something like that in the past is when they made some kind of blunder and that didn't happen here, to my knowledge anyway. The waitress just brought them to us.

Then when we walked out of the restaurant the hostess came up to me to invite me to their weekly brunch and gave me a brochure and a couple of other bartenders and servers were telling us to have a good night. We weren't the only ones in the restaurant at all and I had picked this place because it was popular on yelp and had great reviews, so I don't think they were desperate for people to like them.

So my date was joking that they thought we were from zagat...did they? Or were they just being nice? Why?

How to avoid communication with the girl before the first date?

Atlantic — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 01:36:46 -0800

I met a girl at a bar and I want to know how to avoid chatting with her all week before our first date. Long story short, a friend of mine who bar-tends at a local university bar where I usually hang out, sneaks us into a private function the night of a hockey game we wanted to watch.

Turns out the private function was a speed dating/singles meet-up thing. Essentially my friends and I are sitting their without name tags watching the game and I decide to start chatting with one of the speed dating patrons standing next to me, inquiring about the whole process. We talk for a solid few hours, share some fries, a few drinks and exchange numbers. She texts me later that night, we have some small talk and I say good night. I then set up a date with her the next afternoon for the upcoming week. Unfortunately, both of us couldn't get together until this coming thursday for scheduling reasons.

Basically my question is: I feel like I really connected with this girl and I can tell she feels similar. However, I don't want to spend the week talking via text etc. because I want to save something for our first date. I also don't want either party to build any preconceived notions about each other before we've formally gone out to get to know each other.

How do I politely go about this when she continually tries to make conversation over text. Don't get me wrong, I like it but I just think it's a bad idea. We still have until thursday before going out...

Cheap Dates

Anonymous — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 07:25:43 -0800

What are some free and/or cheap date ideas? We like being social, being alone, art, music, outdoors, sexy stuff, weird stuff, books, etc. We're fairly adventurous, but also happy being mellow and watching a movie. We're queer and in the SF Bay Area if you have specific suggestions for us and for around here, but more general ideas welcome. [asking anon so my girlfriend doesn't search for this and find out what awesome free dates I'm going to take her on!]

Quiet venue for a Wednesday night date in Tempe?

emumimic — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 11:48:36 -0800

I asked out a cute person, and he said yes, but... where do I want to go tomorrow night? Looking for someplace quietish (not too crowded, quiet enough so we don't have to yell at each other, and could maybe play a game of Scrabble), pretty casual (not overly-romantic), and pretty cheap. Could just be a drink or coffee, doesn't have to be a restaurant.

Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly beans, boom!

lesli212 — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 19:28:51 -0800

I'm looking for romantic end-of-the-world themed activities. Movies to cuddle during, food to make and eat, music to dance to, alcohol to drink. I'm thinking it'll be a primarily movie/dinner night. It's specifically related to the Mayan "apocalypse" happening on the 21st. Punny ideas are most welcome.

When it comes to movies, scary stuff is ok, especially if it's funny-scary or so-bad-it's-good, but it should not be too gruesome or too depressing.

As far as food, vegetarian food is best, though stuff with fish is ok. Don't worry, we will drink xocolatl! (Or, you know, Nesquik.)

Stop Staring & Come Talk To Me Already!

rhythm_queen — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 15:58:01 -0800

I'm a 20 year old girl going to a business school in a busy, big city. I get stared at by certain guys--eye-fuck, if you will--but I NEVER get asked out by the guys at my university. It happens with a whole lot of gorgeous, outgoing guys, ones I'd love to try and date! However, it never progresses a whole lot, and I am tired of feeling that I am just eyecandy (I'm being a humble-brag, I know, but forgive it this one instance!). What can I do to get guys to actually start talking to me, ask me out, make deeper connections? I'm 20 years old, attractive in a non-traditional way, silly, talkative, outgoing, and come across confident. I talk to anyone and make myself open and approachable to most. I have been single for a pretty long while! I don't mind this as much as I used to, but I notice that at my university, there are tons of gorgeous, sexy, well-dressed, confident-looking guys who love to stare at me invitingly and make sure they walk around me, and talk to people with one eye on me, and generally make me uncomfortable (but turned on, what can I say.) This is kind of exciting and I sometimes feel flattered, but nowadays I feel very saddened and creeped out. Because I know if I were in some way different, perhaps these guys would approach me and talk to me.

I can tell that I am intimidating. I'm not super cool or anything nor am I always a fierce dresser, but I'm known in campus for being intelligent, outgoing, a great speaker/presenter, outspoken, and also really "different". I know I have the reputation for being too energetic, too expressive, intense, blah blah. I've been trying to change my reputation from being "crazy" to "spontaneous", from "exhausting" to "energetic", and from "ridiculous" to "non-traditional and creative."

This has been really hard. I've always found it hard to make lasting friends and definitely have a hard time dating. Though I know its a learning process for all, I do feel it has been harder for me. I sometimes have a hard time shutting up when I am nervous or anxious. It is annoying even to me. So I do understand that some guys are put off by this--and though I'm working on it, I realize I'm not ever going to please everyone.

But then there are these guys at my university- hot, with lots of friends, they're well-known for being funny, I know they are popular with the girls. All they ever do is stare! And find ways to be around me, and it is becoming super obvious to me and my friends. I realize that this may sounds silly and conceited, but I realize I'm pretty and fun to look at--I really just want some of these guys to approach me and talk to me. How can I do this?

I'm leaving the country soon for about 5 months to study in France. I want to know how I can be more approachable to guys, more socially appealing, less risky to talk to. How I can be dating-worthy to the general guy population. I just feel that my reputation for being a wild-card and different makes me unapproachable.

I feel frustrated with the ways in which I've dealt with guys and crushes. I am tired of having weird, silent, eye-fuck type of situations with guys, and I want to meet and date guys at my school. I want to be someone that guys who are attracted to me will ask out. I know dating is nerve-wrecking and I've had my fair share of rejection--but my mutual stares and blushing, and smiling back--shouldn't that encourage a guy to at least talk to me?

Am I sounding crazy, here? I hope my concerns are clear. :( I just feel like a freak so much of the time, and totally undateable/unloveable because of this. Feeling flattered because of the stares are one thing--BUT THERE'S TONS OF HOT GIRLS EVERYWHERE! I know there's more to me than just wank-material. I really want to show guys this.

btw: some of these guys are in my classes, but because we've established the weird silent eye-fuck situation, everytime i see them we both get nervous and I get very awkward. So it makes it tough to even talk platonically. I couldn't talk to them first...I'd get awkward and I think it wouldn't be "me".

Hope I don't sound crazy, but I've had difficulty writing this and explaining this. :( Thanks!

Need advice on the Do's and Don'ts of coffee dates, and how to keep conversation flowing.

Snorlax — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 19:10:10 -0800

Need advice on the Do's and Don'ts of coffee dates, and how to keep conversation flowing. Tomorrow I [20m] am meeting a really cute girl [19f] who I met on instagram for coffee. I've never been on a regular coffee date with someone I hardly know, and my dating experience in general is pretty sparse.

Although I feel generally confident in my ability, I'm not a very outgoing person. Occasionally I have had trouble carrying conversations with people I don't know very well, added to the fact that I might be a bit nervous, I'd like some general advice and tips just in case.

What are some good topics to fall back on if conversation goes dry? (I just moved here to attend university, and she is recently graduated.). What should I ask about her or tell her about myself? I guess sometimes (especially when the girl is quiet) I quickly run out of things to talk about and then the conversation becomes quiet and awkward. Basically I am most concerned with keeping the conversation moving without stagnating or becoming very boring and small talk-ish, which admittedly I am not very good at sometimes.What is the best way to avoid this?

Thanks!

Sending an e-mail countdown

LSK — Sat, 27 Oct 2012 10:37:31 -0800

I'm looking for an online service that will let me easily send e-mails to a single person (a friend) of the form "99 days until x", "98 days until x", etc. One of my friends has 100 days until a life milestone and a pager that receives short e-mails. I'd love to send a regular (maybe daily, maybe weekly) countdown to that milestone.

Hey, I Just Met You....

chara — Mon, 08 Oct 2012 21:46:48 -0800

I am rather awkward when it comes to matters of the heart and I am unsure how to proceed in this particular situation. I met a really nice guy a week or so ago while we were volunteering for our npr affiliate's pledge drive. We talked most of the time, whenever we weren't answering phones and I feel like we hit it off pretty well, but that could just all be in my head. When our shift was over, he walked with me to my car and asked if I was doing anything afterwards. Unfortunately, I had a meeting to attend, but I invited him to come see my acoustic show later that week (we had discussed it earlier) and wrote down the info for him. He seemed interested at the time, but he didn't show up that night, for whatever reason. I was a little bummed, mostly because we didn't exchange contact info and I had no way to get in touch with him.

I think he is quite intriguing and I'd like to get to know him better. I asked my friend for advice and she suggested that I look him up in the student directoy (he's a student at a local university). I felt a bit weird about it, but I looked and found him easily.

Would it be weird and/or creepy to email him and ask him out for coffee*? I've never done something like this before; usually the roles are reversed.

In the grand tradition of all things MeFi, I am probably overthinking this. Any wisdom you can offer would be greatly appreciated.

* I'd prefer to do something more interesting than coffee/dinner/movie, because I can get awkward and nervous when I'm forced to just stare and talk at relative stranger for 1-2hours. Plus, when you add hot liquids in the mix....bad news all around.

Mystery Date Kit Ideas?

smirkyfodder — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 06:20:30 -0800

My good friends are getting married and I'd like to give them 5 or 6 "mystery date kits." What would you put into the boxes if you could only spend about $10 per box and/or use some stuff from around your house? The idea is that I give them the boxes and they aren't supposed to open them until they're ready to have a date, then they have to do whatever is in the box. I'll write on the boxes how much time each one should take and if it's indoor or outdoor.

I've got some ideas already, but I'm curious if you might have some neat ideas I haven't thought of, so any help would be much appreciated. The couple is in their mid/late twenties, usually up for anything, and we all live in the South Jersey/Philadelphia area (but location specific ideas aren't super important.)

So far, this is what I have:

- blanket fort kit containing some sheets, clothespins and a flashlight.
- a $5 gift card to a coffee shop and a book of Mad Libs.
- a cell phone guided scavenger hunt in Philly (actually already bought this on Groupon for $3 with a discount) and some cash for snacks or drinks along the way.
- a $5 gas card, a disposable camera and a map of a pretty area to drive around and take pictures.

Thanks in advance for your help and please let me know if there's any other info you need from me.

What are the dates for the 9th and 20th business day for the rest of this year and all of next year?

reenum — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 13:36:36 -0800

I need to quickly figure the 9th and 20th business days of each month for the rest of 2012 and all of 2013. Preferably not in a manual fashion. I've checked online, and all the calculators are for calculating the number of days between two dates.

Excel has a WORKDAY function, but also seems to be designed to figure out how many business days are between a specified start and end date.

What I need to find out is what the dates for the 9th and 20th business day are for each month for the rest of 2012 and for all of 2013. I'd prefer not to have to look off a calendar and do it manually.

How do I win my ex back?

enantio — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 22:53:31 -0800

First date with ex-boyfriend went well... what's the next step to eventually winning him back? After a six month breakup, my ex boyfriend and I recently reconnected over coffee, at my suggestion. The breakup was amicable (he broke things off, stating he wasn't ready for a serious relationship at the time), and we decided to remain friends. We've been in sporadic email contact for most of the time since the breakup. I have a feeling the meeting went pretty well, as he gave me a hug beforehand and afterward, said it was really nice to see me, and we laughed and joked throughout the meeting. We didn't talk about the breakup at all, and based on how comfortably we were talking with each other, it almost seemed as if the breakup never even happened.

Given that he seems friendly, should I make a second move and ask him out to a movie? If so, how long should I wait before I contact him? Or should I just wait for him to contact me? I'd really like to date him again eventually but would not want to rush things; I'd rather develop a solid friendship first, which is what was lacking when we first started dating. What should my next step be toward eventually winning him back into my life?

behold my contradiction! We're picky foodies!

PuppetMcSockerson — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 11:22:49 -0800

Montreal Dining Filter: My partner and I are having a HELL of a time deciding on a restaurant for a romantic dinner out in Monteal in a few weeks time. We're picky eaters that really enjoy good gourmet food... A contradiction but true. AU SECOURS! 1. He is allergic to shellfish (shrimp, lobster, scallops, clams, etc), and I don't LIKE most shellfish (aside from scallops)
2. Neither of us eat:
- veal (this seems to be the biggest issue, it seems to be a primary protein for most places)
- rabbit
- organ meat of any sort (sweetbreads, liver, tripe, etc). Fois Gras is included in this.
- miscellaneous body parts of animals (pig trotters, brain, neck, marrow, etc)
3. I don't eat lamb (childhood trauma, long story)

Foods we do like:
- Beef muscle (we eat our steaks rare)
- Chicken muscle
- Pig muscle (but not the feet/ears/etc)
- just about all fish
- just about all veg
- Scallops (for me)
- Lamb (for him)

We want:
1. Reasonable distance from the Bell Center (we'll be cabbing)
2. delicious food prepared well and beautifully plated
3. French, Italian, or Fusion cuisine preferable
4. Romantic atmosphere (not excessively loud, dress/suit jacket kind of dress code, multiple forks on the table type place)
5. PREFER a BYOB, but we'll survive if it isn't.
6. a price point of $40ish per entree is fine

Date ideas?

jsturgill — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 14:18:34 -0800

Have any pleasant date activity ideas for a small-town midweek?

How to make a move on someone I've been waiting to approach?

lemoncakeisalie — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 23:41:17 -0800

How do I approach a castmate I've developed feelings for? We've been working on a show together for about a month, and I've developed an attraction to him. I immediately determined I should wait until the show closed to make any obvious moves, but I'm not sure how to do it. He's friendly and playful and teases me, but it's unclear whether he's interested. In addition, I recently learned that he's rather awkward at approaching women, having been in a years-long relationship from about age eighteen until a couple of years ago. (He's in his late 20s.) It seems plausible that he wouldn't make a move regardless of possible interest. He may not even quite know how, odd as that sounds.

I asked him to dinner about a week into rehearsals because it was clear we had a lot in common. We walked about twenty minutes, went to a shop, got coffee, and had dinner. He didn't offer to pay or anything, but he let us sit and talk for half an hour before ordering because "the company's good." After a long dinner, he walked me home because the area is a bit sketchy, but he sat on my steps with me for about twenty minutes so we could keep talking. All told, we spent five hours together. It was very relaxed and touchy-feely - no holding hands, but I got good vibes. (Again, though, we're theatre people. Touching may mean nothing - we touch a lot in our show.)

In the last few weeks, I've been flirting a lot - teasing him, little touches, all my best moves. Problem is, theatre people use banter and teasing and touches to make friends and establish rapport among the cast. So this is likely to be seen as friendly, not hitting on him. I'm also a hugely bubbly, energetic person. And my character has a crush on his character. So I think it may all be getting lost in the noise, so to speak.

Anyway, the show closes pretty soon. I want to have a plan. There's likely to be making out at the cast party, which probably will just mean fun with friends to anyone involved (including, usually, me - which he knows). I'm not sure how to make it clear that I'm attracted to him and not just as a friend / pair of lips. I also don't want to spook him or make things awkward, as it's likely we'll work together again at some point in the next few years (college theater, nothing professional).

So, how do I be delicate about this without leaving him guessing? Because he's said (and shown) that he's not too skilled at guessing.

Is it okay to renege on a date that you didn't know was a date?

iLoveTheRain — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 12:15:29 -0800

Is it ever okay to renege on a date if you didn't know it was a date in the first place? A few days ago someone I don't know very well invited me out to an event. I said maybe and told the guy I'd get back to him once I knew my schedule. I was under the impression that this was to be a group outing, so I asked a mutual friend about when she'd like to meet us there and she revealed that she wasn't going because this is really a date and that this guy has been smitten with me since we met a year ago. (I haven't seen this guy since that first meeting.) Apparently he's been planning this for a while, which is sweet and everything, but I have no interest in dating this guy whatsoever.

Is it going to be bad form to reneg on the outing now that I know what I know? I've been pressured into going on dates with people I don't like before and I really don't want to do it anymore. What can I say to this guy so he understands?

How do I go about dating now, if I even should be?

dt2010 — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 05:34:51 -0800

How do I go about dating now, if I even should be? Got dumped about a month and a half ago. Want to meet new people and be social, and went on a date this weekend. The guy was funny and nice, and we had a great time, we were able to just banter back and forth and joke around a lot. I know from a discussion we had that he would be seeking a relationship. On the way home after the fun date, I got nostalgic for my ex (not *really* wanting him back, but clearly not as over him as I thought). Maybe it sounds bad, but if anything, I do feel comfortable with the new guy I went on a date with but for some reason want to be physical with him right now more. Maybe this is a rebound warning. If so I don't want to lead this guy on in any way and he seems sweets, so should I just be upfront with him and tell him I am not ready to date seriously before we meet a 2nd time? And how do I tell that to someone? And why the heck am I desiring physical intimacy so badly? Maybe I should not be dating yet at all...Gah. This sucks.

How to plead not guilty for trespassing?

WStraub — Sun, 10 Jun 2012 22:29:31 -0800

Advice on how to plead not guilty for trespassing (in court)? Hey,

Thanks in advance for any advice or information you can offer.

I received a ticket for trespassing a few months ago, and have a court date coming up on Monday. I am seeking advice on how, if at all possible, to get off without a fine or community service (or worse).

Basically, the situation is as follows: there is a section of industrially-zoned waterfront in Greenpoint, the part of Brooklyn where I live. A lot of it is abandoned and in disrepair (falling-down fences, garbage and debris, etc.) and a lot of people—myself included—have taken to hanging out there and watching the sunset or whatever.

One afternoon, a friend and I were hanging out in an area that is accessed by passing through a fairly large hole in a chain-link fence. This was somewhere I had been before, and I see people there all the time. It had never occurred to me that it was trespassing (though in hindsight it seems obvious) until two policemen pulled up and beckoned us over...with a siren. We both got tickets for trespassing with court dates already listed. It was pretty undramatic, but the cops seemed very uninterested in letting us off with a warning, even though we were polite and had just been soberly and quietly hanging out. I pled not guilty on mine, and received a letter saying I still needed to show up in court. So here I am, seeking advice on how to get off the hook.

Possibly relevant information:

— There wasn't a "No Trespassing" sign posted
— In fact, there was a sign that said "No Swimming", among other things, posted inside the fenced-off area where we were (potentially this could be leveraged as an indication that the area wasn't totally off-limits?)
— The fence through which we passed is in pretty sketchy condition, and therefore (possibly) ambiguous as a marker of something off limits. A few yards over, it's completely folded over and falling down into the water. Basically, it's no fortress... and there's no barbed wire. When we expressed confusion at the fact we were trespassing, the cops said "You passed through a fence...the fence means you are supposed to stay out" in response.
— As I said, people hang out here all the time (though I am not sure that helps my case)
— I have a clean record, but I'm not an American citizen (I'm Canadian, here on a student visa)
— I was reading up on trespassing law, and apparently "A person is guilty of trespass when he knowingly enters or remains unlawfully in or upon premises." (here) I am wondering whether I can somehow persuade them that I wasn't aware I was trespassing, and therefore be not guilty?

Anyway, again, any advice you can offer is much appreciated. Ideally, I'd like to get off the hook entirely, but a fine wouldn't be the end of the world. Some sort of misdemeanor or whatever on my record might be a bigger problem.

Thanks in advance!

Sources explaining why you shouldn't put a comma after the year when a date is used as an adjective?

flod logic — Wed, 16 May 2012 09:48:03 -0800

Sources explaining why you shouldn't put a comma after the year when a date is used as an adjective? Are there any good sources explaining why you shouldn't put a comma after the year when a date is used as an adjective? I'm trying to explain why it should be "...after the May 16, 2012 meeting" instead of "...after the May 16, 2012, meeting." It sounds wrong to me to put a comma after the year, a little like writing "big, red, house." Any good sources that explain this? This is in a business/legal context.

Looking for offbeat date ideas in NYC

Bahro — Tue, 15 May 2012 21:12:36 -0800

Offbeat date ideas for young people in NYC this weekend? I'm visiting a ladyfriend in NYC this Friday/Saturday, and am looking for some offbeat, inexpensive date ideas, primarily within Manhattan and accessible parts of Brooklyn, but possibly anywhere the MTA will go. I'll be with her both days, so suggestions from the full gamut of possibilities are encouraged.

Shows, happenings, and parties in the vein of Nonsense NYC are ideal.

We're already planning on going to a museum (I believe the Whitney), but if there are any relatively lesser known museums that are worth checking out, that would be helpful to have in mind as well.

And food! Suggestions for inexpensive places (max $20/plate for dinner) with some ambience and great food (vegetarian, preferable) would be very much appreciated.

Other ideas I've been thinking about: weird places that might impress a person who already lives in the city, places to people watch, beautiful parks, places outside of the city that we could go, etc...

Oh, and while she is over 21, I am not, so if a suggestion is 21+ age limited, mark it as such. Really, any ideas will help. I'm not trying to create a schedule, but I would like to have enough ideas and options in mind to keep things interesting at any point over the weekend.

Cute, magical date ideas for two sad people?

hasna — Sun, 13 May 2012 11:52:02 -0800

Cute, magical date ideas for two sad people? [happening tonight!] I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks. It's super casual, but we've already become great friends, and are sure to stay close even when we're no longer dating. (We're 90% of what each other is looking for, but both have a few deal breakers, so we know this won't last forever). We're both exactly what each other needs right now, and the time we spend together is so fun!

He's currently going through a divorce, and has had a number of particularly heartbreaking arguments with his ex-wife this week. I've had a miserable week as well, for obviously unrelated reasons. We have a date tonight, and I'm looking for something magical and fun to do! Something cheap, not location-dependent, and easy to plan.

I had the idea of making those glow-in-the-dark bubbles, because it sounded like a super awesome fun idea, but it turns out they don't really work. I'm looking for an alternative. More along the lines of finger painting in the park, or pretending to be different characters while shopping in a store, and less along the lines of bowling or bumper cars or DIY pottery. Silly, cute, cheap and stress-releasing are the key! Can include sexy elements.

About us, I'm late 20's, he's early 30's, in Montreal, the weather is beautiful today, he doesn't like getting too dirty (picnic in an abandoned building is out), we're both incredibly into politics and travel and different cultures.

Any ideas (whether used tonight or in the future) are super appreciated! Thanks mifites!

You are so cool, but I don't want to date you.

iLoveTheRain — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 22:42:37 -0800

Date-fail: I initiated the date, it was fun but just okay, was about to tell him no thanks to a second when he texts me and tells me he had a really good time and can't wait to see me again. My friends love him. I in post-breakup bravery decided to ask a guy I met online out tonight. It was good to meet someone new, and he is definitely a really incredible, interesting person, but I did not feel anything around him. My friends thought he was awesome, and he apparently feels the same way about me, but I was going to tell him that though I had a great time, I wasn't feeling it though I was glad to have met him.

Given that I was so jazzed to meet him at first and that I initiated the date, what's the protocol here for letting this guy know "you're awesome but this isn't a good fit"? I'm disappointed that I'm not attracted to him, but I know better than to push past that. I don't know how to respond to his message now that I know I don't feel the same way.

Help me plan a fun date in SF Bay Area, but with some limitations.

jander03 — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 23:51:10 -0800

Help me plan a fun date in SF Bay Area, but with some limitations. Going on a date with a young woman from the Bay Area (Peninsula).

The date is Monday night, after normal business hours.

I like my dates to involve something fun. We'll eat, but just going out for a meal is a little boring to me.
Movies and plays are out, because they limit interaction.
This girls likes walking, but not "hiking," and seems a little nervous about rock-climbing.
Driving into SF is allowed.

As I write this, I think a romantic walk on the beach could fit in nicely, so any suggestions for working that in are especially welcome.

Should I ask this girl to a date this summer?

Thisispiggy — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 21:01:00 -0800

Should I ask this girl to a date this summer? If so, how should I ask? Hi all!

(The song I'm listening to while writing this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrojFR7jM9E&feature=relmfu)

This girl and I have went to the same middle school and high school together. During our high school, we went through a highly selective program with less than 50 people in our program, and everyone had the same classes for four years. So we know each other very well. However, we are not close friends. So I should say, we know each other's personality very well.

She's a good girl, never uses profanity, texts with perfect grammar, has a lot of friends but is usually quiet, and has a good temper. She had only one boyfriend before.

She had helped me before when I wasn't doing well with another girl in this high school program (I've never had a girlfriend before). She described me as "You are extremely smart, nice, funny, and talented." We got close in those couple weeks, but then we drifted apart again as we are now in college. I still text her once every one or two months.

The problem is that she has gone to a college four hours away, while I stayed.

-----------------------
My first question is.... is it worth the effort?

I think it's worth it. Since we are old friends, we already have warm feelings toward each other and know each other very well (When she was comforting me after my failure with the other girl, she said "You are an awesome guy and any girl will be lucky to have you in her life.")

On the other hand, since we have already drifted apart some, even if she rejects me, I wouldn't risk losing too much of a friend.

What do you guys think?

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I'd like to ask her to a date (and possibly more than one) this summer as she comes back to our hometown. I'm thinking of planning a camping trip reunion for our small high school program. At the end of the program, as she leaves, I would ask her if she wants to go to an ice cream shop with me sometime. I've been arguing with myself how to form the question. Some guides out there say to use the word "date" in the question and make it clear and obvious of my intention so that she wouldn't think it's just hanging out. Some say to make it casual and not use the word so that it wouldn't be too much pressure on the girl.

I'm more leaning towards the second option. However, since we are old friends, such an indirect way of asking her might make it seem like we are just hanging out. Nevertheless, I do think asking her face to face would make it more obvious.

So I guess my second question is how I should word it?

Thanks everyone for your input!

— Thisispiggy