Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with crisis

Borrower seeks Lender (of costume ideas)

cazoo — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 10:26:58 -0800

Costume Filter: I'm going as the subprime mortgage crisis this year. Need some help figuring how to pull this off. So how would I go this Halloween as the subprime mortgage crisis? Any ideas?

To regulate or not to regulate?

murphy slaw — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 11:32:36 -0800

Are there any non-regulatory policies that could have prevented the economic meltdown? When discussing current economic conditions, a statement I frequently hear from conservatives and libertarians is that the current problems are "not a failure of deregulation." I'm wondering what policies those who support continued deregulation of the financial and housing sectors believe would have prevented these problems, or will prevent recurrences.

(I'm asking this out of honest ignorance - economics has never been my strong suit, and at the moment there's a lot of blame and rhetoric flying around from all over the political spectrum, but I'm not hearing a lot of concrete policy proposals.)

How did these banking crises affect their stock markets?

storybored — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 18:32:05 -0800

I'm trying to find out how much stock prices fell in their respective stock markets during three of the following "Big Five" financial crises: Spain(c.1977), Norway(c.1987), Finland(c.1991). Harvard's Rogoff claims a 20% average decline but this seems wrong given that the declines in the other Big Two crises, Japan and Sweden alone were 80% and 45% respectively.

Financial crisis: Government intervention or free-market-pain?

chefscotticus — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 19:03:32 -0800

Current_financial _crisisFilter: Where can I read the single best arguments for government intervention to rescue the financial markets and economy, and the single best argument for zero/minimal government intervention in this current financial crisis? (Looking for links to articles, blog posts, etc -- not opinions -- from MeFites...)

To bail or buy?

Crotalus — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 12:12:34 -0800

If the credit crisis is caused by falling housing prices and excess housing inventory, why doesn't the government just buy up 2,000,000 houses at an average of $350,000 each ($700,000,000) and hold them until housing values rebound. If you're going to artificially prop up home prices, this seems just as efficient as handing the cash to banks.

Yep, another economy question!

Chris4d — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 12:30:12 -0800

Is the credit crunch (and every other economic crisis) an inevitable result of selfish attitudes? Say the continued health of the economy is (gross oversimplification) about future expectations. When reality doesn't meet expectations, there's bad news for somebody (or everybody), but it's generally temporary: lower-than-expected earnings, unhappy stockholders, smaller bonues, but still minor in the grand scheme. People still have jobs, they still contribute to GDP, trade still occurs, etc. etc.

This time, a big chunk of the economy has failed to meet expectations. But that's not a big deal. I mean, really, it shouldn't be. In my head, the investment banks and the lenders and all the other players collectively say "hey, these mortgages aren't the sure-fire investment we thought they were. Sorry! We're going to suffer for a while and we are waaaay overleveraged, but we'll clean up the mess and then we'll be fine!"

Instead, everyone is running for the door and nobody wants to get stuck cleaning up the mess they're leaving behind. Is this really a "feature" of the system, that nobody is willing to lose a little money, and so everyone now stands to lose a lot more?

Thank you for letting me display my ignorance publicly. Begin the flogging!

Help me take care of my family if it hits the fan.

damiano99 — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 22:48:25 -0800

I've tried to be a boyscout in preparations for everything. Oil and water in the car. First Aid and fire retardant in every room. Etc, etc. I've also tried to be prepared for what many call EOTWAWKI, the End of the World as We Know It. Not in a survivalist way by more in line with common sense. Now, I'm trying to figure out how much further to dive in. We live in Tornado Alley, so we have all the usual. Flashlights, 30 days worth of MRE's per person. Extra clothes and needed docs, gear, etc in a go-bag for each person. I could go on forever. However, lately I've been hearing so many dire warnings from people both qualified and un-qualified that I wonder if common sense shouldn't give way to a little healthy paranoia. I'm not a neophyte financially, but I am certainly not an accountant or a broker. Should I stock up on precious metals, and liquify my assets? Should I maintain a diverse portfolio or consolidate in an overseas market?

On the home front ... should I stock up on the home front as well? Extra water, ammo, more food, etc. (Lots of etc, here.)

I know that sounds kooky and I'm not prone to that but I don't like to get caught flatfooted. I've been through enough tornados and enough junk while living overseas in disaster areas that I'm always trying to keep a "Keep-Life-Going-Kit." Should I expand that as well? To what degree should I be worried? Some of the people who are giving "warnings" seem to know what they're talking about while others are certainly the type who border on the edge of normalcy, so I'm having a hard time separating baseless rumors from solid advice.

In short, do basically just need to make sure we're divested of anything risky (we're not heavily invested, mostly 401k and some odd stocks) and keep cash around more often ... OR ... do I need to start stocking up on more food, start an ammo crate and start learning to tan my own leather? (Ok, poetic license but you get my drift.)

How to keep a recovering alcoholic occupied?

jaynedanger — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 10:11:21 -0800

How to keep a recovering alcoholic (going through his quarter-life crisis) occupied? My boyfriend made the decision several months ago to stop drinking. He'll go for weeks without wanting a drink until he gets bored. Once the boredom sets in, he'll get frustrated and depressed. He'll start talking about how pointless life is and drink until he can't think straight anymore.

We live in Iowa, so there isn't enough creative stimulation to keep him happy. We're planning on moving, but until we get to that point, he needs several different hobbies to keep himself occupied.

For a while, he was writing every day. This was what stopped his drinking initially. He would get off work and immediately start writing all his thoughts and ideas. He would write well into the night, every night. During this time he started drawing and sketched out some ideas for a graphic novel. Both of these projects ended after about a month or two.

I bought him the Orange Box for PC, and he filled his evenings with Team Fortress 2 for about a month. His latest hobby has been World of Warcraft, but I can feel it's pull starting to wear away.

He's always been into standup comedy and has recently been looking to that as a creative outlet. He also plays guitar, but can't find like-minded musicians in this area.

I believe he's going through his "quarter-life crisis." Just years ago he was touring Europe with his old band, feeling on top of the world. Then he crashed, his life feel apart, and I met him as he was trying to pick up the pieces. He has come so far, and I know he's really happy with his progress, he just can't seem to find anything that keeps him happy in the long run. Once it hits him that he hasn't gone as far as he was hoping, or that he's not "good enough" at a particular hobby, he gets depressed and drinks.

He's not the kind of person to read a self-help books, so I'm just looking for more ideas to keep him busy. He'd prefer to have a group of intellectually stimulating people to surround himself with, to bounce ideas off, to work on creative projects with. Any ideas on where to find something like that, or get a group started, in Iowa? He's open to any ideas for new projects or hobbies. He really wants to keep away from drinking and being in the state of mind it brings, but once he gets bored it's inevitable.

What do recovering alcoholics do when they get the urge to go out to the bar? How do you find creative stimulation in the middle of nowhere? What's a good hobby that takes up a significant amount of time and is still rewarding in the end?

Help me help him and myself.

Work to Live — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 08:56:29 -0800

Please help me help my partner through his career crisis. And help me deal with it, too. My partner and I have been together for ten years. He's a 36-year-old attorney who recently closed his solo practice after four struggling years. During this time I supported us both. The strain of this financial arrangement was bad for our relationship, especially during the past two years.

When it became obvious the solo practice wasn't going to work out, he explored moving into the assisted-living industry. He's always had an affinity with older people, and this seemed like a good fit for him personally and professionally. Unfortunately, everyone he spoke to saw him as a lawyer (and mistakenly, one making a lot of money) and couldn't understand why he wanted to make the switch. Though he got close to jobs a time or two, nothing came through.

Two months ago he found a position at a very small firm. The past couple of weeks he's been complaining about the workload, a sense of isolation, and his general dissatisfaction with the job and industry. This morning he mentioned solo practice again, which gave me chills.

He's a very good, intelligent guy, with a great work ethic. During his solo practice I watched with admiration as he did a lot of things far outside his comfort zone for the sake of his career. On the downside, he comes across as a bit passive and not always very "with it" in terms of popular culture or ways of the world.

I've tried recommending jobs outside the legal profession, helped by some of the questions here on the green, but nothing aside from his foray into the assisted-living industry seems to have created a spark.

Now, I'm at a loss. The worst part is that this is affecting the way I see him and the quality of our relationship. Lately, I look at him and see a person who can't fit in or take care of himself, and that scares the hell out of me. Even though I love him, I often wonder if I should (or can) spend the rest of my life in this situation.

If you read this far, thanks. If you have any advice, thanks a lot.

How do I move back to New Orleans?

ultraultraboomerang — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 11:03:38 -0800

How do I move back to New Orleans? Or, in light of the economy here and elsewhere, should I stay in Baton Rouge and suck it up? I moved (reluctantly and luckily) from New Orleans for a job about a year before the storm. I've been an hour down the road in Baton Rouge for four years, and I just never made friends with this town. Also, I never made friends in this town. I'm paid pretty well for what I do, but all I do is go to work and come home. My boyfriend is in NOLA, and that's starting to be a problem, now that I'm getting sort of old for that kind of arrangement, especially when it costs $30 in gas just to get there and back.

I work in academia and could almost certainly get a similar job there at about a 20% pay cut. When I sell my condo here I'll end up with about $10k profit when all is said and done, which will be a nice cushion but is not enough for a down payment on anything (my current mortgage was no down payment, but since people bought million dollar houses with those and defaulted, I'm unlikely to get another one even though my credit is excellent). I have around $30k in retirement but I know I shouldn't even think about tapping in to that. (Right?)

So how do I do this? I make a good living here but have literally nothing else. Moving to New Orleans is risky for the obvious reasons, but it's the only place I can imagine having an actual life, with friends and a real boyfriend and things to do. Should I stay here and suck it up, having a weekend boyfriend, until something miraculous happens? Should I even be thinking about buying real estate there? (Obviously I'll be looking at the higher ground, probably Metairie.)

I guess I'm just looking for thoughts on the New Orleans economy in general (as perceived from inside and out), and thoughts on whether or not it's worth the sacrifice, in the midst of this economic clusterfuck, to give up a decent job and a decent (but boring and isolated) life to take a chance at a real relationship and a life that includes some friends who live in the same zip code.

How to find yourself again

Eudaimonia — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 13:53:22 -0800

I lost myself somewhere in the fray - help me draw a map to get myself back. I don't know how to listen to myself anymore. That small voice inside, my intuition, the part of me that tells me my true desires and what I value and require from life has been stifled by the pragmatic, realist, rational voice that tells me that I need to do the "right", "practical" thing, and leave my wild eyed, optimistic, overly romanticized notions behind.

You know, grow up.

Even if I got the guts to follow my heart, the problem is, I don't know what I want anymore from career, from relationships, from hobbies, etc. I don't know what would fulfill me - I feel like I lost myself somewhere, and its making really. unhappy. Painfully unhappy. I get the feeling that a lot of people feel this way.

So apart from trying to meditate, or reading and re-reading The Little Prince and The Alchemist, what do I do to get back in touch with myself?

Doctor or Doctorate? To-may-to, To-mah-to?

Eudaimonia — Sun, 25 May 2008 02:39:05 -0800

What does it take to be a doctor (MD)? And what does it take to be a doctor (PhD)? Torn about what path to pursue, Background: studied psyc in college, am currently finishing up in public health. Obviously, I need a third degree.

My first reading for pleasure books were psychiatric non-fiction. I love psychology. I love psychiatry. I have, at various times, dreamt of being a neurologist, a psychiatrist, a psychologist (clinical, neuro-, or research). I’ve finally figured out that what truly fascinates me is elucidating mental processes by way of studying those with deficits or diseases – we’ve learned a whole lot about memory, for example, from Alzheimer’s patients.

I love people. Really, I do. I love learning, too. I want to find out more about why we do what we do and tell the world. I want to be the next Oliver Sacks. And yes, of course, I want to heal and help (though issues of self efficacy and fear of having someone’s life and/or mental health in my hands are a bit frightening)

Currently am torn between pursuing pre-med studies and doing more research (which I’m not keen on honestly, but that’s another post), trying to decide between clinical psyc. PhD or MD. I have perused the studentdoctor forums but am looking for the opinions of seasoned MDs and PhDs – what place does your profession have for a person like me?

My heart is breaking

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 05:04:50 -0800

Can this relationship/marriage be saved? Here goes, my wife and I have been married 8 years. Over the last few years we have both been more focused on our educations, professions, and friends and less on the couple part of being married. My wife is/was very much a caretaker and I am a real slacker and I let her carry the load when in retrospect I should have jumped in with both feet and done whatever I could to help out. We were just puttering along with not much real passion when I get the shock of my life. I’m on a business trip and my kid calls me at 3 in the morning to say mom is banging some 22 yr old in our bedroom! Needless to say I was totally shocked and devastated. When I returned we talked about the incident and she said it was because she was drunk, etc, etc, and feels horrible about it. But then I find out that she is still seeing him after she fabricates a work outing and comes home at 4 am. I found out that she had been out with the same kid again and when I confronted her about it she said that she really enjoyed the fun attitude when they went out with no expectations afterward. Needless to say I’m failing apart at the seams and don’t know what to do. I’ve got a session with a counselor this week and she is in therapy also. I look back and really do think it was partially my fault for not showing how much I loved her on a daily basis. Now she says she doesn’t know what she wants to do. Her ideal scenario is to have us both. She wants me for the friendship and emotional attachment and him for the excitement. I just don’t think I can survive and stay sane like this for too long. I really do love her and have drastically changed what I do and the way I show her how much I appreciate her. But I fear it may be too little too late. Has anyone been in a similar situations and have some advice. Any insight would help. Anyone can respond directly at dormin78@gmail.com

when does a wise man quit?

WannaBeAPhD — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 18:59:44 -0800

Background: I am 41 years old. I am 16 credits shy of graduating with a BS in Mathemathics. my GPA is 2.79, I have over 250 hours of attempted coursework, 144 of that is being counted towards my degree. I program and design software systems for a living. The Problem: I really love math and computer science but I am lousy at learning. when I say lousy I mean slow. It is an all or nothing proposition for me I am either a master of the material or I do not know it. When I have to study I experience psychosomatic symptoms, irritability, out of body experience, confusion, trouble concentrating. This has been happening since I was a child, I have a real aversion to studying, and it has gotten worse now in my adult years. I was diagnosed with ADHD about 8 months ago. The metadate works somewhat well to clear up the fog but when I have to study hard nothing helps.

I can perform my job well but that usually does not require me to think of the formal methods or theory about my job unless I am really pushing what I want to get implemented. To do my job I have self educated over the years I have read a large number of books because of interest in the material and the need to do my job.

I get bored at work doing repetitive tasks or tasks that don't require me to innovate or do research. I've just about reached the point where I have to become a bureacrat. I want to be able to continue to innovate, research and learn and I really want to study and become a PhD. There are jobs out there that I would qualify for if only I had a little more education adn the title. If money were no object I would simply study and take as long as I needed to in educating myself. That luxury is not available to me.

Is it wise for me to continue dreaming this way or should I simply accept my limitations and give up hope. I do fear that giving up hope will severely shorten my life. When I think of it I can feel the emotion build up. What does a wise man do when faced with the reality that he may never be what he has always wanted to be?

Music in Sydney NYE Fireworks

oxford blue — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 02:54:11 -0800

Help me identify a piece of choral music from Sydney's 2007 NYE fireworks. Can anyone tell me what this piece of music is (fast forward to around 3:21)?

I've searched around, and short of ringing up Sydney city council I can't remember what it's called, where it's from, or who composed it. Which is frustrating!

Mega-bonus points if you can identify other peices of music from the firework's soundtrack. However as usual only the classical stuff really interests me.

(For auld lang syne, my dear!)

Design my reinvention

Anonymous — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 14:30:59 -0800

Okay, here's where I politely ask you folks to help rig up a creative midlife crisis. Scoop is, I'm a 45-year old female, educated, no parents, divorced, no kids. I have a steady job, a dead-end long-distance relationship, a home and housemate, health issues and no savings. It's time for me to break loose from all of the assumptions I've always lived with: I'll write books, get married, have children, buy a home in the country and garden, raise goats and drive a '69 Jaguar too fast while listening to classic jazz. Point is, there's no one tying me down, and yet I haven't accomplished most of the things I wanted to.

If you will, give me ideas to restart my life (I had a long list) on EVERYTHING.

Please note, I'm kind, bookish, smart, driven and prone to exhaustion.

I know this could go all aft agly, so please be constructive. This is a bit vague, but it's on purpose, since I want to be open to all suggestions. This is anonymous because this is an issue I don't easily confess, and because friends and siblings know my Metafilter ID. Gmail for this is creativemidlife@gmail.com

Worldwide wheat crisis?

Optamystic — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 19:38:12 -0800

Is there a wordwide wheat crisis? I was just told that worldwide wheat production was down by a third. Could this possibly be correct? A bit of googling suggests that it may be so.
If so, why isn't it on the front page of every newspaper in the world?

Depress me!

poweredbybeard — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 14:38:03 -0800

Deforestation. Extinction. Soil depletion. Toxicity. Mental illness. Mass imprisonment. Neocolonialism. Etceterugh. What should one read for a better comprehension of just what the hell we're doing to the planet, ourselves, and eachother? What books or documentaries effectively explain/encapsulate/investigate/contextualize trends such as these? What would you say is essential reading or viewing for anyone wishing to stay conscious of the problems of modern civilization, remind others, and seek out root causes?

Aside from the obvious (An Inconvenient Truth), I suppose other examples could range anywhere from The No-nonsense Guide to the Arms Trade to Silent Spring to The Politics of Experience. Gimme more, new or classic.

We're just a million little gods making rainstorms...

regicide is good for you — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 12:42:08 -0800

LostPassionAndCreativityFilter: How does one rekindle one's skill in the zany, lateral, eccentric, imaginative, radical, random, funny, artistic, and kind? Maybe this is one of those "quarter-life crises," but I find myself in a multidimensional rut when it comes to everything from having quirky ideas for writing and art projects, to making absurd jokes with chums on the fly, to engaging in random loveliness for the benefit of friends and lovers, to acting out freely in public, to having good instincts on how to fill free time creatively.

These used to come easily. I used to be known to many as a consistently funny, often impulsive, sometimes sloppy and dangerous but always interesting, and generally imaginative and inspiring person. As adulthood and the concomitant responsibilities have taken hold in earnest over the years, I find I'm just not that force of random loveliness in my life or the lives of those around me anymore.

What do you do to keep yourself open, to chance, impulse, yourself, and others?
What pushes you artistically?
What keeps you creative and light on your feet?
What is it that makes you inspiring to those in your life?
What allows you to keep your life a choose-your-own-adventure?
What weird little things do you do every day to stay awake, stay human?

Answer in whatever way moves you. Meditation techniques, books, specific pursuits or disciplines artistic or otherwise (ie., I used to be in theatre - maybe I need that again), explanations of vague perspectives you try to hold, obscene haikus, tales of weird acts you engage in, advice on places to visit, or just long rants on the beauty of life and all the small unnecessary ways in which we cheat ourselves of it.

I hope this all makes sense. Please run free with it.

Friend behaving "badly"...

MiffyCLB — Wed, 30 May 2007 17:11:07 -0800

How to handle friend's choices when you don't approve? I am a 40-year-old Mom with three young kids. My question concerns a friend of our family's - technically a college friend of my husband's but we've all been hanging out a lot lately because our kids get along so well with his. I like him but don't like some of his recent life choices.

About 10 months ago, he announced he was separating from his wife with the intention of divorcing her. Of course you never know the whole story but I can say that she's been heartbroken and confused by the whole thing and claims he's having a mid-life crisis. They have two young children (3 and 7). Since moving out he has revealed that he has a (cuter, younger, childless) girlfriend. This relationship started before the separation. She has moved to be nearer to him and recently started spending time with the kids. He hasn't filed for divorce yet, says he can't do it to his wife after she's been "so great about all of this".

I have a real problem with the whole thing. I don't want to hang out with this girlfriend and would really rather not even see him at this point. The problem is, we (I, my husband and our kids) are very attached to his kids and they to us. I feel they could use some consistency now and I don't want us to be more people letting them down. The wife has been unresponsive to my efforts to establish a relationship with her (I think she sees me as coming from the dark side).

What to do? Let it go? Pretend I don't care about his personal choices and focus on being a good friend to the kids? Level with him and risk burning the bridge? Encourage my husband to hang out with him on his own? Maybe this phase will pass - if it is a mid-life crisis, how might it progress? Should I wait it out?

Thank you very much for your input!

I need MBA advice to make sure I don't waste two years and $100k

Mr Bunnsy — Thu, 17 May 2007 19:16:03 -0800

Is an MBA worth it for me, or am I just trying to keep up with friends who all seem to have letters after their names now that we're hitting our late 20s? My dream job is international marketing, particularly working for companies or brands that are expanding between Asia and the English-speaking world. It would involve a good bit of travel and be based in a major city.

My current job is nominally marketing manager, but it's a small company and I do a good deal of operations, web and graphics work, client service, you name it. I'm 27 and female, if it matters, and my degree was in Economics with a barely 3.0 GPA from a decent state school. My grades were a lot better in my last two years (dean's list) and I'm certain I can ace the GMAT with some more studying. I do very well on standardized tests and had a near-perfect SAT... somewhat of an idiot savant that way.

I've been researching schools for months but I still don't have a good idea of how I stack up vs other applicants, and whether I have a shot at a good school. I would want to go full-time and really take advantage of the resources and networking the school offers. But my goal is not astronomical salary or prestige, just an interesting job that allows me to travel to cool places, pays enough for the ensuing school loans on top of a decent lifestyle, and doesn't make me wear a suit every day. I think eventually I'd like to start my own (or with a partner) company.

Sorry this is so long-winded. My real questions are:
- Do I have a shot of getting into a top school (US or abroad) and how to increase my chances.

- Is it worth going even if I do get into a good school, or is the opportunity cost too high? Could I get where I want to be without an MBA? (Most of the jobs ads that look interesting to me do require one.)

- Should I be conversant in an Asian language if I want to specialize in Asia? My college Japanese is almost gone and to pick it up again it I'd need a few months of serious, and probably full-time study.

- Are MBA programs full of pretentious asses who are much more interested in money than knowledge or doing cool things, and will make me feel out of place and homicidal within months? How do I find one with genuinely smart and interested students?

Thank you in advance!

I need a U18-friendly venue to hire in London on a Saturday evening...

so_necessary — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 03:49:09 -0800

I need a U18-friendly venue to hire in London on a Saturday evening... So, venues keep telling me that they can't handle U18s under any circumstances, but this is clearly nuts - what about wedding receptions and stuff? I need somewhere (like a bar/pub kind of place) to hire exclusively for a wrap-party, for around 250 people, with a minimum spend of about £3k maximum... but I really really want a small number of U18 would-be-invitees to be able to attend. Any suggestions?

Midlife crisis?

kantgirl — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 19:39:27 -0800

Midlife crisis? So, my husband and I have spent the past few years working to live more simply. We recognized that we did not want to spend our lives working very hard to have more stuff. So, we have simplified and are thinking about what to do next. Background:
We both work sort of ‘corporate jobs’. I am a Project Manager my husband is a Web developer. We are working on finding ‘the sweet spot’ on balancing living simply and doing the stuff we enjoy.

We are in a place where we could go almost anywhere and do almost anything. We are young, in our 30’s and have zero debt. We would like to tap into the hive mind on what sort of lifestyles are out there that we might not even know about.

We are looking for ‘outside the box’ ways of living and making a living. Neither of us is too keen on spending the rest of our lifes waking up every morning to go to a ‘normal’ job.

Our main constraint is we have a dog who needs some space and a chance to exercise every day. Other then the dog and our laptops we can live without pretty much every thing we have.

Ideas we have considered.
Traveling by RV to sell things at festivals etc. Moving to a foreign country. Building a tiny house in the middle of no where. Doing seasonal work in a resort area.

Have any of you tried any of the above (with a 70lb Labrador retriever)? Is there something amazing out there we haven’t thought of? Also, we know this will be give and take. What are the pro’s and con’s of your experiences?

Where do I go to figure out the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?

Eudaimonia — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:57:13 -0800

Boston or SF? SF or Boston? *head desk* Help me hive mind, as only you can! I switch from leaning towards one city to the other many many times a day and mostly end up in the fetal position. I've looked at a whole bunch of threads and though I try to filter the advice and apply to myself as best I can, I still find myself hopelessly confused.

So, background:
I moved up to the Bay Area a few months ago to help out with some research at Stanford (I'm a psyc. major and I didn't do much research while in school. I want to go to grad school and have realized I need to get as much experience as I can). Despite going through the breakup of a four and a half yr. relationship, I managed to make friends with my roomies and despite being in Menlo Park, am finding ways to keep myself occupied (kinda). I hated it here initially, but love-love-love it now. The summer research is over and I've got two options: stay at Stanford and keep doing research (not paid, mind you) while I live off savings and maybe find a crappy job to supplement me or go to Hah-vahd where I might have a research job waiting for me (and more face time with professors, which I hear is important).

A few kinks though: I already know people in the Bay area..and they're cool. My ex-roomate/good friend may move up here soon and we could move in together. My college alumni chapter has a big presence here. But..no foreseeable job and if I want to live in SF proper or the East Bay (which I do), wouldn't commuting a few times a week to Stanford suck major ass?

I've visited Boston before, and loved it. When I think of Boston, visions of the Red Sox!, Apple picking!, Leaves Changing!, and Maple syrup, er, gathering? dance in my head. For someone who had an unnatural fondness for WGBH programming when I was younger (who didn't like The Victory Garden or This Old House (the old ones)? Not to mention the New Yankee workshop), New England holds a certain romantic fascination for me.

I don't know anybody in Boston save my recently ex-bf's parents and friends, and might be able to hang out with them, but can we say "awkward!" I did love his family and liked his friends quite a bit, but the break up is fairly recent and I don't want to rely on him too much. I know I can make friends, but it isn't that easy for me and Boston kind of scares me because it seems difficult to integrate if you're not either in school or a local (though I am open to being proved wrong). Plus, the cold. Oh, the cold.

I want to do things, man. New things, cool things. I can find an afro-celt-polka-acrobatic-dance class up here in a second. And while I'm not saying I can't find this kookiness in Boston, perhaps SF wears its kookiness more on its sleeve (or at least advertises it more readily on Craigslist)? I'm not particularly outdoor-sy, but I'd like to be, and I like the fact that you can do that mostly year round here (I'm originally from the west coast and I've found that winters, after going to school in Chicago, don't mesh well with me...SAD affects me in a big way). I heart driving and I'd keep my car if I stayed in the bay area (not in Boston), plus finding a place to live would be much easier if I decided to stay here...
So, erm, yeah. What should I do?

I really don't mean this as a "which city is better?" question. I mean it more as a: Imagine yourself, almost 23yrs old, single for the first time in young adult hood, trying to "find yourself," in the midst of a quarter-life crisis and not *particularly* career focused... where would you be?

Mid life crisis at 23

Napierzaza — Fri, 05 May 2006 23:42:47 -0800

I'm sort of in a crisis right now... Basically I am halfway through a bachelor in Film Studies and I realize it's garbage. I want to change my major to something that is useful. I previously thought that there weren't any useful degrees that I could take, at least ones that were not long and expensive (I have no support and have to work full-time while at school). At this point I realize I have nothing, I'm working full-time for a degree I don't even want.

What I want to be: Architect.

How easy is it to become one? What will I have to do to prepare to take schooling in this? I have barely any maths to speak of and would not have a portfolio that involves architecture, just some general arts.

I live in Montreal Quebec, Canada.