Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with crazy

Girlfriend, Cats, and I

Anonymous — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 19:21:21 -0800

My girlfriend and I live together for 2 years with cats. The cats are driving me crazy. What can we do? My girlfriend and I decided to move in together two years ago. She wanted to have cats, so we got two shortly after getting the keys to the apartment. At the time I was happy with her idea; she really wanted them, and I wasn't going to say no (and I never thought of saying no at the time). As we live in a very densely populated Asian city on the 14th floor, they are 'house cats.'

Two years on they are driving me crazy and making me feel like a guest in my own home. I can't put down anything without getting it covered in hair. They damage a lot of furniture so I can't buy anything a little expensive I like. They smell (litter box; 14th floor with minimal ventilation as wide open windows are a scary fall). I am often awoken by their loud meowing at night and hence am tired at work. I often have an irritated throat at home which I suspect is caused by "cat air." After a long day running around for work I want to come home and relax on a clean couch, not one totally covered in hair and whatnot. The list goes on, and on, and on... and we've tried a lot of solutions.

Problem is my girlfriend has grown attached to them. Giving them away would be difficult for her and they are so "not-cute" that I doubt people will want to take them in, especially anyone we know. An option is that I go live in another apartment. This is a realistic option at this point, but I am worried that this will harm the relationship I have with my girlfriend that we've both worked to build. There is also the feeling I have that I'd be neglecting my duties if I left, as I did initially agree on having the cats... and I don't like the idea of being the guy who runs away from difficult situations. So there would also be the option of staying and dealing with it for the next 14 years or however long they'll end up living.

To be clear: I regret getting the cats. I wish I hadn't but there's little I can do to change that decision now. So here I am! The situation is very upsetting for the both of us.

OK, so, are there any other options? What are your thoughts? And from the three options above, which would you choose (giving them away, live in different apartments, or stay and deal)?

Question posted anonymously as I don't want people Googling me and connecting any dots. Thanks!

How can I dial back the crazy eyes?

wexford_arts — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:30:51 -0800

How can I dial back the crazy eyes? I've noticed that many of the candid and posed photos of me over the last 10 years show me with very wide open eyes, with some white showing above the iris. While it's not totally surprising to find in some animated candid shots, I don't like the intense, crazy look in ID photos and the like.

I've worn contacts for about 25 years, have spent much of that time on computer work, and have recently started using drugstore magnifying glasses to make computer work easier.

So here's my questions.

1) Why am I seeing this now, when older pictures of me don't show this effect? I have been told by an optometrist that contacts and/or years of computer work have led to the extra widening of my eyes. Does this make sense? Would moving to glasses instead of contacts help?

2) How can I overcome this? I try to consciously relax my eyes when posing for pictures, but even so, my most recent ID card looks as if I'm contemplating turning the photographer into stew. I'm afraid that the old "close your eyes, then open them just before the picture is taken" trick will make things worse. Any other ideas?

books? why do you need books?

fifilaru — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 21:02:27 -0800

Library of the future? I run a small community college library (70,000 books, budget after salaries of $150,000). The college is part of a large state university system. Our chancellor is convinced that within the next five years or so all of the books at the Library of Congress will be digitized and online for free. He wants a plan for the library about how we will deal with the coming digital revolution. He asked me what I am going to do with all the room once I get rid of the books in a few years.

Our library is pretty good with technology. We have 20 new or newish computers for students to use, loan Kindles, have Blu-ray DVD players and large HD televisions. In addition to the physical, collection (70K books) we have access to large article and e-book databases.

Can anyone direct me to studies of the libraries of the future? Does anyone have any ideas what I should tell him? I am very good at putting things together and creating impressive reports. I am just having a bit a a problem wrapping my mind around this.

WTF work is nuts

Anonymous — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 20:38:09 -0800

Is this a hostile work environment? I work for a college. I am a faculty department chair. I was just given notice by the administration that I "allegedly reprimanded and acted unprofessionally and this behavior was perceived as a hostile work environment."

I did talk to a faculty member who had send out a barrage of emails and upset the entire staff (I have the emails and the staff's response to them). I told her that her behavior was unacceptable and to refrain from this behavior. I didn't yell or insult her. The entire conversation lasted about 2 minutes (there are witnesses).

This person is the former department chair who was forced to resign for a number of reasons, including causing the staff to cry and scream.

How should I approach this? ugh

How to deal with a narcissist?

tastybrains — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 10:18:09 -0800

I mistakenly became friends with a narcissist, who I also work with. I've avoided a confrontation with her, but she keeps prying to find out if I'm mad at her or don't like her anymore, and I feel like eventually I am going to have to explain myself. But how do you tell a narcissist that you just don't care about them without having them explode? Last year I began working with another woman my age, who on the surface has a lot in common with me -- we're the only 2 in our current position, we're working towards the same graduate degree, we have similar work backgrounds, we live in the same town, and we have similar interests. Since we're both in our late 20's and most of our coworkers have children our age, we started to hang out a lot, both in and out of work. At the time, my husband was spending 3 weeks of each month working in another state, and while I have a good amount of friends, most are 45 min to an hour away, so it was nice to have someone really close to grab a cup of coffee with or go to the gym with.

I knew she was diagnosed as bipolar and had some issues with authority (she routinely pushes the envelope at work, getting "spoken to" regularly, while I tend to be more cautious than I need to). I also became aware that she has never had any close friends for a long period of time, or boyfriends.

I don't know why it took me so long to realize that what I first perceived as confidence was really just batshit insanity. She constantly contradicts herself or blatantly breaks rules, and absolutely throws a tantrum if you do not encourage and support her in everything she does.

A few examples:
She brought a date to a workday, company meeting because there was ice cream and swag, and when I pointed out that it was a little strange to do so and that I wanted to make sure she saw the "employees only" note on the posters for said meeting, she blew up, insisting that I was just trying to stress her out and that a real friend would tell her she was sure she'd get away with it ... and that of COURSE she saw the "employees only" sign and that maybe that was WHY she was bringing a date in the first place, and how could I ever doubt that she would miss such a detail?

Once I asked her, politely, to stop detailing her crash dieting (stuff like "I only ate a banana yesterday, it makes me feel so good to do that!") because I have my own issues with dieting and food, and she started screaming that I was insane because it had nothing to do with me and that I was being selfish to ask her to stop talking about a topic that interested her. I believe my exact wording to trigger her reaction was "You know, I really am uncomfortable discussing dieting, can we please change the subject?"

Another time, she pointed out an overweight woman (who was smaller than me -- as I am also overweight) and said "Oh my God, I can't believe I was ever heavy. I look at people like that, and I just get so grossed out that anyone could be like that. And then I think I used to be almost that overweight, and I just hate myself!" And I said, offended, "Don't you think that is really offensive to me and anyone else you know who is overweight??" And she exploded at me about how I take everything too personally and that a comment she makes about someone else is not a reflection of me.

Anyway, the past year is full of such stories. I simply cannot be friends with this girl, and yet because she is so out of touch with reality, she can't just seem to accept that I don't like her. The last time I tried to explain that I thought it was better that we don't hang out, she started arguing with me about it, and the next day informed me that she had a good talk with her therapist about me and gave me a copy of The Four Agreements (I don't know either).

I feel like almost any outright confrontation is dangerous, because (1) we work together, (2) we go to school together, and (3) she doesn't handle any form of rejection well.

At the same time, I feel like I have to be ready to say something, because she keeps trying to push my boundaries, and whenever I turn her invitations to do stuff down, she says things like "I'm starting to feel offended, like you don't like me!"

I have been so stressed over having to deal with her on a regular basis that my anxiety has become exacerbated, I've lost sleep, had nightmares, and dreaded work (which I otherwise love). Note that I don't really have to see her frequently at work as we work on independent projects, but we are on the same team so there are weekly status meetings and whatnot.

So how do I manage this? She simply does NOT seem to get the hint.

I'm not comfortable bringing my boss into this because (1) she loves said coworker, and (2) this is primarily a personal issue.

World of Warcraft on UMPC?

jeffhoward — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 08:56:03 -0800

Does anyone have experience playing World of Warcraft on an ultra mobile PC like the Samsung Q1, OQO or Sony Vaio UX series? I know it's technically possible to run by watching the demos on YouTube but I'd like to get some feedback about whether it's actually a playable experience long term or more of a novelty. The Sony device seems to have been discontinued so if you have other recommendations for an ultra mobile form factor I'm all ears. More importantly if you've actually tried playing WoW in a mobile environment what are the major issues to watch out for in terms of these UMPCs?

Am I working in the Mirror Universe now, or what?

Anonymous — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 08:35:34 -0800

Everybody that I work with has become an insufferable asshole over the past few weeks. What is going on here? What can I do about it? I like to think of myself as a pretty laid-back kind of guy. I try hard to be accommodating to others and to be as helpful as possible, especially at work. I've always gotten along well with coworkers, I've never been written up for anything at work (at any of my jobs, ever) and I pride myself on being able to work with difficult people in difficult situations. Lately, though, it seems as if everybody at work has taken Asshole Pills and are now actively trying to drive me batshit insane.

It's difficult for me to give a list of concrete examples, except to say that, as strange as it seems, almost all of my coworkers and work-related acquaintances have become unbelievably rude over the past couple weeks and months, to the point where I'm noticeably more stressed and agitated than I used to be just half a year ago.

Previously pleasant coworkers now sneer at me and belittle me behind my back, and sometimes to my face. Other coworkers go out of their way to avoid being scheduled with me, and I've been reported/written up for things that I didn't even know were problems (I got called into a meeting with our Big Boss and got dressed down because apparently I smell bad. WTF? My boss told me I "need to start showering" or I'm going to loose my job. I shower twice a day, most days. At least once a day, every day. I'm completely hygienic. And I don't think I smell.)

Other times, coworkers within 5 years of my age will talk down to me as if I'm an imbecile or a child. Other times I'll be helpfully "reminded" about very basic aspects of my job of which I am obviously well aware (imagine "reminding" a plumber that "water goes in the pipes, mmmmkay? make sure the pipes are fastened tight, mmmmkay?")

I've been accused (by both bosses and coworkers) of being lazy, incompetent and generally useless. Three things which I've never been accused of in my entire working life. Nothing that I do is ever good enough for anyone at work, and generally the only feelings I seem to inspire in my bosses and coworkers seem to be anger and loathing rather than gratitude. Again, this is not normal for me.

As I sit here writing this, it occours to me that I sound like I'm trapped in some sort of Kafkaesque nightmare where everybody is in on some kind of conspiracy to treat me like a mentally challenged individual with a double-digit IQ.

Statistically speaking, I realize that this interpretation is rather improbable. It seems logical that if everyone around me has changed so much in the past few weeks/months, then it is more likely that I have changed somehow. I don't *feel* any different than I did a few months ago, except now with this nagging feeling that people at work are treating me like shit for no apparent reason.

Any ideas on what, exactly is going on here? What can I do, if anything, about it?

You can email me if you want at darkmatter.cosmos@gmail.com

Am I giving my cat an identity crisis?

banannafish — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 19:02:03 -0800

Am I giving my cat a complex? I call my cat a large variety of names, including but not limited to her original name. She is a little over 10 years old and I've been calling her nicknames for the past, oh, 9 years and 363 days and today it occurred to me that maybe she is completely confused when I talk to her. Okay, yeah, so I talk to my cat. And when I do, I call her by her name (Jabberwocky) or variant (Jabbles, Jabber, Jabbie) or other affectionate nicknames including but not limited to Craig, Stinky, Meowy, KittenKitKit and Craiger McCraigerson... you get the idea.

She usually responds to Jabberwocky and is now picking up on Craig since my SO and I discovered Graham Roumieu and his lovable Bigfoot, but sometimes when I talk to her she just looks at me like I'm a human talking to a cat. When I am, lets say, talking on the phone and use other names to address people I may be speaking to/about, she doesn't seem to notice or care. However, when I am petting her and call her the goofy names she looks vexed.

Should I stop torturing my cat and call her only by her God-given Monster-inspired name? Does she even care?

Any recommendations for a helpful mental health practitioner person in the area of Portland, Oregon?

brisquette — Thu, 21 May 2009 13:25:55 -0800

Any recommendations for a helpful mental health practitioner person in the area of Portland, Oregon? After a few stressful months of medication issues, my boyfriend and I have lost a lot of faith in our psychiatrist, and are looking for additional forms of help and advice, whether a therapist, counselor, or even just a different psychiatrist. We'd both been on ADD medication for a while (I'm on Adderall, he was taking Vyvanse) when my boyfriend (Charles) began to feel that maybe he was depressed. So in January, on the next trip to the psychiatrist, the doctor gave him a prescription for Zoloft. That seemed to be going pretty well, but I didn't ask too many questions about it because I didn't want him to feel weird about being on anti-depressants.

A month later, his prescription ran out right as we were leaving on a 2 week vacation to the other side of the country, and my kind and funny boyfriend started acting like a manic irritable whackjob who saw mystical signs everywhere.

Once we got back to Portland, I managed to get him into the doctor's office again after a week or so, and by the end of the session the doctor was worried enough to put Charles on Zoloft for a little longer, but had him taper down over about a week. The doctor also sent home a sample bottle of Zyprexa, with vague instructions ("take this if stuff gets too much, or if you get too irritable.). This curbed the manic behaviour, and things settled down for a while, but he was still acting weird and saying weird things, and our friends started to notice and get concerned.

This gets us to the beginning of April, when I get a call from Charles' work, since I'm his emergency contact. They think it's best if I come pick him up. They had a meeting to discuss his erratic behaviour, and it became obvious he wasn't in a mental state to talk about it. So another round of calls and doctors appointments and now meetings with human resource folks follows. The doctor now decides that mood stabilizers are in order. Hellooo, Tegretol.

Life has calmed down a bit. My boyfriend's on meds, he's back at work, and we can talk and hang out and be a couple again. Although his work and his union has been really great about all of this, it's been a downer for our relationship and our friendship. Walking down the street can be overwhelming for him. After months of coping with all the ups and downs, I'm starting to get exasperated, even though I know better.

We both are carrying a grudge against our doctor, for various reasons. Neither of us feel that he gives enough practical information about the medication he dispenses. The recent incidents surrounding the antidepressants made me remember how little info I got when the same doctor first put me on Adderall. I used the internet like crazy, but it feels like I had to dig up my own solutions, even though this guy is supposed to be really good at ADD stuff.

My impression is that the doctor didn't give my partner enough warning about how anti-depressants are sort of a big deal, and the last thing you want to do is go off of them suddenly.

Our doctor also seems too willing to indulge philosophical meanderings, which is fine when you're feeling normal, but even when Charles was getting over the paranoid, manic episodes, the doctor didn't tone down the philosophy, and it left Charles feeling weird.

The last time we saw the doctor together, the doctor said that the episodes and behavior were signs of something that probably would have come out anyway, in a couple years. After spending the last couple months scouring the Psych/Disorders section at the bookstore, I do see his point, but it's also really hard not to have him even even acknowledge that maybe none of this would have happened if my partner had just stayed on the medication. I have close friends who've given me way better practical advice than our doctor has, and that's disappointing.

So I'd like to go see a new doctor, psychiatrist or otherwise . Charles is a little burnt out on meds and doctors right now, but accepts that after the last couple of months, it's important to have someone sane to check in with every now and then. He's still on the Tegretol, but is disgruntled about the apparent complications that medication has brought into his life.

I don't know enough about the big wide world of mental health people to know exactly the term for what I'm looking for. Someone who can be practical about real life, someone who will help us find our personal goals and then follow through with them. Someone who's good at talking to a couple of ADD twentysomethings.

Yo dawg, I herd u like the perfect chord.

allen.spaulding — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:27:20 -0800

Examples/terminology for media so compelling it drives you insane. I'm looking for fictional representations of media so engrossing that it drives users crazy. Obvious examples that come to mind are Infinite Jest and Arthur C Clarke's The Ultimate Melody. I'm not sure if there's a term for this trope, but the key fact is that the media/text itself must be so compelling that it causes an individual's mind to break down.

I'm not looking for examples of overall obsession or the existence of some text that can drive someone crazy, such as Snow Crash. The focus is perfection->crazymaking. Aronofsky's Pi is close as well.

So what's this called? Any other examples? Will I go nuts when I read your answer?

How do you eloquently tell somebody that they are crazy?

captainsohler — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 10:25:21 -0800

What are some eloquent ways to proclaim that someone is crazy? This is for good tidings for some good friends getting married. Besides eloquence, I would also like to know other ways of saying that someone is without reason in their actions. Especially colloquial expressions.

But really, I am focused on the eloquence.

Thanks guys!!

Optoma HD70 projector flickering crazy colors, then whimpering out

icetaco — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:15:18 -0800

Optoma HD70 projector flickering crazy colors, then whimpering out - just over a year old, with a brand new bulb installed 6 months ago -- tech support not very helpful. Anyone have ideas, or sympathy at least? I live in LA, but it's not even hot enough to overheat the lamp yet. I am getting an amber lamp light however, and customer service says it's the lamp. But they just replaced it, and they're expensive! Warranty no longer an option. Hmmm...

A coin for each year

oxford blue — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 07:49:09 -0800

A coin a year, but the mint isn't sweet. I would like to gift my special friend with a coin from each year she was born until now. That is, from 1986 to 2009.

The problem? I cannot find an Australian coin that has been minted contiguously, going via this list. I am Australian, and live in Sydney, if that helps in anyway.

What's the best way to go about this? I guess I'll obviously have to pick and match. For most years there's at least one or two different combinations minted, but for 1986 the only coin minted was the 'peace' $1, which might be hard to find.

Would this work? Or am I just being crazy and should I find another thing to do? I have already mentioned this to her, so it might be nice to follow through.

Is there anything I've missed or am just not thinking of? I know you can buy coins, but because I am somewhat poor, I would prefer not to go this route, but maybe can spend a little if there is no other way.

Thanks for any help!

Crazy Creative Job Opportunities

BettyBurnheart — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 10:41:45 -0800

Currently I am a young college lass with lots of time on my hands. I take a class one day a week and have a substituting job where I can work or choose not to work any day of the week that I want. I am so bored with life right now. With all this free time on my hands I would love to pursue a crazy off the wall job...video game tester, Mary Washington impersonator, plow truck driver, you name it; even if it is only short term. Any Suggestions?

Tired of Crazy

wrinkle — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 10:51:20 -0800

I've been very depressed for my entire life and have decided that it's time for another ride on the therapy train. My previous trips were rather unpleasant, so I'm hoping for recommendations for a doctor in NYC and some general advice. My life has been at a standstill (meaning I mostly stand still) for the past 12 years and it's time to put all of the angst aside and start living a little. I've seen two psychiatrists, one psychologist phd and some sort of a counselor in the past and never felt the slightest change or improvement. Mostly I just rolled my eyes, wrote a check and went home to sit on the couch.

I can't remember a time when I wasn't depressed so I have no idea what I'm "supposed" to feel like. When I was younger I would have manic periods where I would stay up for days and do lots of dangerous things, and I lived for those times because it was amazing to feel so alive. But now I care so little about everything that even the mania hasn't come to play in years. I'm not and I've never been suicidal but my profound apathy startles even me. Plus, it's getting boring. If you meet me on the outside I'm happy, confidant, friendly, outgoing, and often the life of the party. Seriously!

So,
1. I need a therapist. Preferably not a psychiatrist because I won't take any drugs, but I would like them to have a PhD. Know anyone good in Manhattan?

2. In general, what type of therapist should I look for? What type of therapy have you found to be successful?

3. How should I screen therapists to find someone I click with?

Thanks for your help!

I say he's crazy; therefore, he must go through an evaluation.

metalheart — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 09:37:51 -0800

Australian (and U.S.) Mental Health/Legal Filter. Can you just go and talk your GP into having someone put through a psychiatric evaluation? One of my close friends is studying medicine here in Melbourne, Australia, and in one of his various internships, a psychiatrist told him that anyone can recommend someone get a psychiatric evaluation, through their GP. In other words, if you wanted to, you could go through the process against another person, like so:

Go to your local GP. Talk to him about the person you consider to be mentally ill, and, if the GP agrees with you that this sounds like a mental illness that could cause harm to that person or those around him, that person must, by law, go through a psychiatric evaluation.

Psychiatrist telling him this or not, I call bullshit on it--at least some of it. It seems like, surely, there must be some evidence (other than words/hearsay) that a random individual has to provide for a GP to sign this off. Moreover, it would seem the GP would actually have to see said mentally ill individual, not just hear what some other person has to say about him.

If not, I can very easily imagine people doing this just to disturb someone they don't like/broke up with/fired, etc. It seems too easy: pick a mental illness, go speak with a GP, get him to agree with you, and in no time at all, the person you're saying is mentally ill has to go in for an evaluation. Talk about stressing someone out, if you're lying!

Is this true? If so, under what law? I've not been able to find it through searching. I'm looking for laws and policies, if possible, though anecdotal evidence is okay, too.

Extra Question: I know a bit about involuntary commitment and the like under U.S. law, and I know that a doctor himself can recommend involuntary commitment for one of his own patients that he deems a danger to himself or others, but is there anything similar to the above?

If these laws do exist in either or both countries, what provisions are there to protect individuals from being evaluated wrongfully? I.e., suing doctors and the like.

We all go a little mad sometimes.

greekphilosophy — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:05:02 -0800

Were the mother and daughter subjects of the documentary "Grey Gardens" mentally ill? I know they're something of cult heroes to some people for being outlandish and quirky, but I was aghast at the mental condition these women were in at the filming of the documentary. And these very different reactions people have to these (staunch) characters sort of confuses me.

My therapist boyfriend suggested that Little Edie Beale had a lot of Axis II stuff going on with her lack of boundaries with her mother and her constant attention seeking behavior. It also seems that his musing on the possibility of a "folie a deux" between them is shared by others who have seen the documentary.

But I noticed some more stark qualities that were more than just personality based quirks. (And, surprisingly, I'm not talking about the raccoons living in the attic.) It appeared to me in one scene that Little Edie had a hard time with time/date orientation - and she even at one point talks about how hard it is to tell the past from the present. Her extreme anger at the discussion of the previous caretaker, Tom Logan, seemed curious and not wholly rational.

Does the more recently released follow-up documentary shed any more light on this? Were there other indications of mental instability that professionals might investigate further or use as guides for developing a diagnosis (aside from, you know, living in squalor)? IANAD, but maybe you are. And maybe this will help me form a more coherent reaction to this documentary.

Become a Lab Rat with a Shaven Head ????

Izzmeister — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 11:44:27 -0800

Give me crazy (legal) ways to make money during this economic dowwwnturn.... Become a Lab Rat? Sell my Hair? So..

I'm looking for as many possible ways to make money during the recession.

Lab Rat
Sell your Hair

are two examples of nutty-to-most-people but legal and qucik ways to make some dough.

what others can you help me come up with?

Neighbor dating drama conundrum!

Anonymous — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 05:06:14 -0800

All's fair in love and war? A guy I am dating has pitted me against my neighbor, do I ditch him? So I met this great guy and we really hit it off, you know all that sort of stuff. I felt a lot of chemistry with him and I was so happy that I had met someone who enjoying doing the same things I do. Problem was that when we started dating I was going away for some time. When I left he said he would miss me, but we didn't really ever talk about exclusivity because it had only been a week.

We live in a strange little place out in the country with about 500 other students. It's kind of isolated and drama is admittedly rampant. Apparently, while I was gone he had a little fling (involving sex, of course) with a next door neighbor (I have about 16 of those) while I was gone. He made it clear to her that it wasn't serious, but she developed feelings for him and when he told her that he couldn't see her anymore because he wanted something serious with me, she was pretty angry. He claims that he always made it clear that this was a fling, but she thinks he lead her on.

This neighbor and I aren't really friends, but we have some common friends and they all tell me to not resume dating him even though before this incident some of them told me that we were perfect for each other. On one hand I think it's pretty sleazy to date my neighbor while I'm gone, but on the other this place is pretty weird and I and many other victims/residents here have done similarly sleazy things that we wouldn't normally do because it's a little crazy here. Also, we didn't have an commitment when I left and well...everyone is a neighbor here.

I really like this guy and he now wants to be exclusive. We had also planned a trip and everything is all booked...and I was really excited because there is so much we wanted to do together that my past boyfriends never would have done. And while this group of girlfriends is nice, I haven't been friends for them very long and during this time they haven't really had my back (left me alone after I drank heavily, etc.), so I'm not sure I want to sacrifice a potentially good relationship for them. Both this guy and I come from a different country and we are going back there in four months.

Ack, I'm really torn about this because I know this place is insane and makes people do crazy things, but I'm also a little worried about what this says about his character. Should I tell him I can't date him anymore?

Does that make me crazy?

Anonymous — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 18:44:44 -0800

In the past few months, I have found myself occasionally going into uncontrollable outbursts of rage and violence. Oddly, other than that I find that I am a happy and satisfied person. Help? Overall I would consider myself a very happy person. Generally I don't get stressed easily (which you might thing is paradoxical considering what I'm about to detail... but in my mind this makes sense), I'm liked by my friends and co-workers, I am content with my position in life, I have goals and aspirations, I love my job, etc., etc., etc. I could go on and on about how good my life is right now, but I am having this problem.

In the past few months, probably starting about six or seven months ago, I have suddenly developed some odd behaviors and outbursts. I'm really not sure how or when it started, but it kind of all happened at once and wasn't a gradual thing. Basically I just have these outbursts when I get angry or upset that something doesn't go my way. It could be as simple as rush hour traffic, an unpleasant task at work, or losing in a video game. This sounds silly, I know...

My outbursts are generally yelling, many times obscenities, and hitting things. I never do this while people are around, only when I am alone. I get the urges when I am around others, but I find it controllable. When I am alone it is much easier for me to release the feeling by just doing it.

The number one place this happens is probably my car, but it is sometimes in my apartment. At work I don't say anything or yell but I do still hit my desk or chair. When I say I hit things, often it's whatever's around, such as the arm of a couch or chair, punching a wall or door, or even hitting myself, often in the head (none of this is hard enough to really injure myself). The cursing is especially odd to me because overall I've never been one to curse. Up until these outbursts had started happening, I could probably count on one hand the number of times I had cursed out loud other than repeating something someone else said, and now I find myself saying some of the most vile things imaginable out loud. The last thing I would mention, and the most scary to myself, is that sometimes I get the urge to drive into oncoming traffic or into a wall or just slam the gas as hard as I can just to see what happens.

I don't know what any of this means. I don't do these things out of nowhere, it is generally something that frustrates or irks me that triggers it. I don't feel like I would even become violent to a person, or that I would hurt myself permanently in any way. I have not told my spouse or anyone close to me about this. What do I need to do?

I have only ever been to a psychiatrist once in my life, and it was when I was 14 and acting depressed so my parents would pay attention to me. Honestly I don't believe in all that stuff. I don't think it will help... but maybe I just need someone to encourage me to go and actually do it. So I guess that's what I'm asking. Who do I talk to about something like this? Is this normal? Should I be seriously concerned about my own physical or mental health? I know you are not my doctor, but maybe I really just need some perspective from someone outside of my little bubble of the world.

I'm in my early twenties. If it matters, I'm a male. I got married pretty recently. Let's say it was two years ago. That (involving moving in with my spouse) and a job change for the better are the only two major changes that have happened in my life recently.

amigoinginsane@gmail.com

Cockroach Crazy

peewinkle — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 20:52:47 -0800

I just became the person in charge of a large building. Which is infested with cockroaches. Help! The building is huge. It used to be a church. It is over-run with cockroaches. I mean, they are crawling up my leg as I type this. I know I have to bomb, use gel and redo that every few days, four or five times. But am I using the right stuff?

I am using the bombs and gel that you get at Home Depot.

A few years back, I moved into an infested house (yes, I am a poor bastard) and I made the landlord call in an exterminator and he used a gel that looked like an epoxy stick (two separate tubes that squirted gel out equally to mix) and it worked great. Is this the same stuff that you can get at Home Depot or is it a commercial version?

I really don't have the cash to call an exterminator.

There is a lot of stuff in the building, which makes great places to hide for them, but no food stuff and nothing here for them to eat.

The building is three levels and they are everywhere. I've been sleeping in a hammock and eating out.

Any advice or info would be great!

(Yes, I know...... yuck)

It's urban scavenger hunt time!!

wile e — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 23:41:26 -0800

Bored on a lazy Sunday afternoon? How about helping me come up with ideas/suggestions on how I should plan an urban scavenger hunt? We're planning an urban scavenger hunt for a major city and was looking for some ideas/tips on what we should do. I've searched a bit online looking for help with planning, but have been coming up a bit short. It'll be for teams of 2-4ppl, and 10-20 teams.

The group will be mostly in the 20s and 30s age groups so it doesn't need to be aimed at younger crowds. I have found a lot of family/children ones though.

There will be the standard clues of finding historical places and taking photos of this or that, but I want this to be fun, crazy and maybe a little over the top! Ideas can include things that need to be accomplished. Or done with proof. We're open to all ideas, as this is not for an organized group. We're just looking for a fun adventure.

So has anybody done a really fun one? Have any crazy ideas? Are there any guidelines? Some book of rules that is published somewhere?

Not looking for city specific ideas, we have that covered. But for those curious, it will be held in Helsinki, Finland. A smaller city, that has great public transportation.

Any and all ideas/thoughts welcome!

Thanks!

Help me grind some chicken wings.

HotToddy — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:22:09 -0800

Will a Cuisinart food processor be able to grind up chicken wings (including the bone)? Chicken necks? Or do I have to buy a meat grinder? And if so, will the KitchenAid meat grinder attachment be able to handle it?

My cat's gone mad with love!

aburd — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 12:43:56 -0800

My cat demands constant affection. When she doesn't get it she screams and pushes herself against me. It is cute for short periods of time but recently she has become even more vocal and more needy. It's to the point that if I'm on the phone she is screaming in the background. If I have company she is in their face trying to get attention unless I am constantly petting her. How can I help her and help my sanity? I realize this question is selfish but it's an issue that is bothering me. I love my cat. She's sweet and doesn't have a mean bone in her body. But she is crazy needy. If she is laying on me she slowly works her way up my body until her face is right next to mine licking my face. I used to try and let her wear herself out with the licking or whatever but it doesn't really work. She just keeps going. If I have company over she jumps in everyone's lap and presses her face into their hands until she is getting petted. She licks them compulsively. It can be offputting for my company. Every one who meets her says that she is not like any cat they have ever seen.

So I have started to think that she might have an imbalance of some sort. But in researching online every imbalance that I've read about seems to present itself by cats being less social not more social. Every vet I've seen laughs off my concern and says that it is a good sign that she acts this way. I don't think they understand the extent of the affection. It is constant, loud, and sometimes odd.

For a bit of background on the cat, the lady from whom I got her says she was sitting on a bench in the park and my cat was screaming under the bench. She was very young at this point and undernourished. This nice lady took her in and got her healthy. The lady had me housesit for my cat and 2 other cats for about a year and a half. When she moved she couldn't take all of her animals and I got Julie because I got along with her wonderfully. Her needs have grown as I have had her and it is getting to a point that I think she might need help. I have one other cat but they don't really play much.

Any help or thoughts or stories about similar situations would help!

Hey, remember crazy mannequin shows from the 80's?

pedmands — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 21:54:55 -0800

Here's a semi-tough one (at least, I think). TV show from the 80's, had at least one character that was a mannequin who would come to life after you placed his cabbie-hat on him... I remember him being in a department store at the top of an escalator, something to that effect. There was also an episode in which a live character was home sick and he brought her chicken soup, I think. There was also a computer and an owl. Damned if I don't sound crazy.

This one has been bugging me and my lady all day, to the extent that I passed up my chance this week to ask an anonymous Q that's been bothering me... impulsive, I know, but necessary.

Thanks.