a cold and timid soul who neither knows victory nor defeat

Ziggy500 — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 09:02:42 -0800

Cautious/risk-averse Mefites - how did you train yourself to become braver? This is a very general question because it applies to many aspects of my life. I am a very cautious and pessimistic person. Usually because I have either experienced negative consequences of taking risks or have seen these happening to other people.

This doesn't mean that I have lived my life in a sheltered cocoon - but I have always minimised risk when making decisions and this is something I would like to change - just to show myself I can do it, I guess. But it's sort of ingrained in me now. I mean, I haven't changed my hairstyle for 10 years!

I have issues with anxiety, and if I ever AM involved in something that might go wrong (handling a big work event was the most recent trigger), the fear about it tends to keep me awake at night.

So, heroes of Metafilter. How did you train yourself to take chances? It could be any kind of chance - jumping out of a plane; approaching the cute guy or girl at the bar; speaking in public - anything that scared you, could have gone completely wrong, and yet you went for it.

Inspire me! Thanks guys.

(This similar question only got 3 answers.)

I'm a fool

Anonymous — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 08:40:24 -0800

Hey, I got a really stupid problem. I really really want to play in a band, but I never have and don't know if I'd make a fool of myself. Hey what's up guys..

So this is a pretty nerdy question. I know.. Well about 13 years ago.. when I was like 23 or so I wanted to play guitar and all that. Impress the girls ;) I had a decent job so I was those guys who bought a $1000 guitar only to play No Doubt all day. And always hit a wrong note about 1/3 of the way into the song.

I just didn't have that "I'm in a band" kind of thing about me. I was so average. So I just stayed a bedroom player.. and admired others for what they could do. I mean, I just love music.. and I have this alto-ego of me who's a badass player, so while I'm driving I'm listening loud and have these long fantasies it's me playing.

I kinda gave it up.. my martin acoustic gathered dust.. I kinda didn't like guitar. Can't explain it.

Then about 6 months ago.. my older sister, who's in her 40's.. said, hey I got some drums. There's a bass .. and next thing I know I'm jamming with her, and something about the bass just struck me naturally. I guess, all those years what I was doing on the guitar was really playing basslines.. all the walking basslines on the minor pentatonic (just tryin to sound cool here ;P).. my style was more fitting for bass. And this I discovered while playin w/ my sis on drums.

She couldn't grasp it, so gave up, but I continued on my own, practicing.. even getting one warning from a neighbor playin too loud ;P

(I did something "punk" woooo)

So now, all I gotta do is meet some people. Hopefully people who are like 'friends'. I don't want to go look on craigslist and even try. If I look stupid or feel dumb I'll hate myself and give it up and go shoot myself.

I wish there was like a .. pay $20 and play in a temporary band kind of thing at the mall. Something easy.. where I can just do it just to get that feeling of being on a stage with 3 other people and so I can know whether I can handle it or not.

Does anyone know is there anything like that? I'm kinda afraid of the open mic things too. I know of a club here but
I mean.. it's like... "LA".. the indie hipsters..

I want to try first with something cheesy. Maybe even kids. Teens.. I don't know.

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a cold and timid soul who neither knows victory nor defeat

I'm a fool