Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with counselling

Financial and addiction counselling needed in Barrie, Ontario

Anonymous — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 10:49:34 -0800

I need information on counselling services available in Barrie, Ontario. This information is for my brother, who is 40 years old and who currently lives in Barrie, Ontario, Canada. He’s an alcoholic, and has been for a good 20 years. He also used to do drugs, though I don’t know if he still does. He can’t manage money. He and his wife (who is also an alcoholic, and who can’t manage money either) have been separated for two years. When his wife first moved out he was determined to keep the cute, inexpensive house they bought in 2001, but it has recently gone into foreclosure. He probably has other consumer debt as well, and certainly he has no savings. There's no practical necessity for his finances to be in this condition as he has a secure job with a decent income (50 to 60K), the full use of a company vehicle and no dependants or other extra expenses. For the last year he’s been involved with another woman — my family doesn’t know much about her, but our impression is she isn't all that together either.

So, I guess I’m looking for addiction and probably also financial counselling, though I suspect the cost of my brother's heavy consumption of alcohol and cigarettes are the main cause of his financial woes. And this counselling needs to be free, or nearly so, because odds are he can’t or won’t want to pay for it. I’ve never spoken to him about his problems, but the next time I get a chance to speak to him alone I want to try to encourage him to get counselling, and to have contact information ready to give him so it'll be that much easier for him to take those first steps.

Thanks.

Anyy point in counselling?

plechazunga — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 03:14:41 -0800

Is there any point in relationship counselling if I have already decided to leave? Follow up to earlier question - left my partner of 11 years about 2 months ago. She is having problems dealing with it and keeps asking about counselling. I am not going to lie and pretend it might help because it won't. In fact, I am already in another relationship.

But, if there is any possibility that it might help her move on, I would consider it. Might sound stupid, but would a counsellor force the issue?

Therapist Needed

Anonymous — Fri, 01 May 2009 06:16:08 -0800

Any recommendations for a therapist in the Jacksonville FL area that specializes in couples/marriage counseling and CBT? If they take UHC that would be helpful as well.

Headshrinker needed.

AzzaMcKazza — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 20:51:13 -0800

AussieFilter: Can anyone recommend a good Psychologist or counsellor in Melbourne? I need to find someone to help me unravel the large thought-knot in my head that keeps getting bigger and bigger. I've had success with counsellors in the past and really need one now.

I've tried one here in Melbourne but I wasn't satisfied. The problem is I think I'm too smart for the average counsellor- which pisses me off (and is part of the problem) I can usually tell within the first few minutes whether a counsellor will be good for me. I know alot of tricks and techniques so when I can tell I'm being 'manipulated' I freeze up and get angry.

Can anyone help? I've reached breaking point and feel like i'm going to explode soon.

Inexpensive marriage counseling or self-help book suggestions?

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 07:55:47 -0800

Inexpensive marriage counseling or self-help book suggestions? My wife and I have married a little over 2 years and we’ve been having an increasing number of fights and disagreements. Both of us want to change this but we can’t seem to keep ourselves from getting into a yelling match at least once or twice a week. We’ve decided we need professional help but we don’t have a lot of money to spend on therapy or counseling. Do you have suggestions for cheap or free therapy in Toronto? I’m also curious about books or other inexpensive purchases or practices that might help. Thanks!

Can you recommend a counselor in Vancouver, BC?

zeph — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 02:41:42 -0800

I’m asking this on behalf of a good friend in Vancouver, BC, who’s going through an especially hard time right now. In her own words, she feels like she’s “drowning in her own life” but doesn’t know how to even BEGIN to address things. She’s willing to try counseling but could really use some therapist recommendations, which is what I’m asking for here. A few details that might help:

- For months and longer she’s felt increasingly like she’s lost her drive, lost interest in the things that used to matter to her, cannot get done what she wants to, and is sleeping far more than she’d like. She also recently (not even a full month ago) and unexpectedly lost her father, with whom she was very close – which is obviously compounding things intensely.

- She’s on a rather limited income so somebody with inexpensive or sliding-scale rates would probably be best (if it helps, she’s in the Gastown area).

- Past experiences have left her somewhat leery of therapists; two things in particular that I know she’s concerned about is a) feeling like they think she’s “faking” it and b) finding out that there’s nothing therapy can do for her and that she just has to live with the horrible way she’s been feeling. I would hope that anybody worthy of being a therapist would be familiar with and capable of working through these concerns, but she’s had so-called counsellors who’ve made her feel this way before. Towards that end, if anybody’s been in the same boat and found a therapist (in Vancouver) who was good at addressing these types of issues as well, that would be ideal.

Based on this description, does anybody reading this have experience with a Vancouver-based therapist they would recommend? For the record, we are hoping for recommendations for therapists rather than speculation on what she’s experiencing (sincere thanks to any of you who have opinions on the latter, but at this point the most immediate need is to find someone who can help her) – and of course it goes without saying that I only ask this question after having spoken with her about it and gotten her blessing to do so (I may be meddlesome but I hope I'm not THAT meddlesome! ;)

Thanks in advance for any response you can provide, and of course please Mefi-mail or email me (address is in my profile) if you'd rather not post publicly.

selecting a therapist from a long list

Anonymous — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 13:24:45 -0800

I'm having difficulties choosing a (telephone) therapist starting from a long list. Partly practical, partly mental... I wish to have Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for my depression/anxiety/stress. Due to my location I am unlikely to be able to find a suitable therapist locally and so I am looking for a telephone counsellor. I have started with The British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (I am British) and am trying to use this page to select a therapist.

My problem is that there's no point selecting a location and the categories into which my needs fall are so general as to narrow the search very little, giving me several hundred matches. One of my personal issues is perfectionism, so I am finding it very hard just to take a random selection of half a dozen from this long list and hope that a therapist who'll really be able to help me will be among them.

I have looked at past AskMe's (1, 2, 3) and, while these will be valuable at other stages of the process, I have two specific questions:

(1) Are there any other smart ways that I can reduce the number of candidates? Even down to a number that I can reasonably email to ask if they are taking telephone clients.

(2) How many therapists should I talk to before I make a decision?

Plus any general advice is also very welcome...

Finally, feel free to email me at scared.to.work.cant.relax@gmail.com

Non-fiduciary costs to using insurance for therapy?

Anonymous — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 08:08:10 -0800

What's the real story with using health insurance for mental health services, related privacy issues, and how it affects one's ability to get insurance coverage in the future? After an extended period of consideration, I've decided to seek counselling for what I think are relatively minor issues, and for what I hope will be a relatively short time. (In my rich fantasy life, this means 10-12 sessions over a few months, but I know that may not be realistic.)

Naturally, I'd like to avail myself of the generous health insurance benefits supplied by my employer, but I've known many, many people who choose to keep therapy "off the books" due to concerns about privacy and future coverage. What's the real story? Is it worth it to keep counselling records out of your insurance company's hands? What are the potential repurcussions of using insurance for therapy?

(And one more potentially relevant note: I'm employed full-time, but in the past I've sometimes been self-employed. It's entirely possible that one day I'll want to be self-employed again, in which case I'll have to secure my own insurance.)

Thanks.

An older member of my family is hinting at suicide.

Anonymous — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 19:06:43 -0800

An older member of my family is hinting at suicide. I don't believe there is an immediate risk today or tomorrow but it's been hinted at very clearly, more than once, that suicide has been considered. I don't want to pick the comments apart here, let's just say I believe this is a credible threat, given this family member's general depression and defeatist attitude toward life.

I discovered a book about assisted suicide techniques in the house, for example. When I asked her about it, she brushed it off as wanting to be prepared in the event of a wasting disease, etc. However the book was dog-eared and filled with handwritten notes. Very unsettling.

Here's my question: what do I do about it?

There are lots of things I can do to brighten her day and make her life more worth living, but I'm also thinking that this should be treated directly as a mental health concern as well. You can't prevent someone's suicide by just bringing them flowers and telling them jokes. It seems like some kind of treatment or intervention is called for. What are the options?

Compounding the problem is that this person is notoriously impossible to bring before any kind of health practicioner. Will only see a doctor when absolutely necessary, utterly refuses things like massage...

She is also notoriously clammed-up about her own personal issues and refuses to talk about family issues with me. I think it's incredibly unlikely that she would consider seeing a counselor.

Let me repeat that: it's incredibly unlikely that she would willingly consider seeing a counselor

She's middle-aged, fwiw.

So what can I do? How do you "get" someone into counselling? Are there resources I can consult or tactics I can use? Anybody been through this?

Private responses can be sent to suicidequestion@gmail.com

Prioritize my life-fixing, please.

Zozo — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 09:54:06 -0800

What should I start first: personal or couples counselling? Or does it matter? My girlfriend and I are going through a pretty shitty time, both individually and together. We're fighting way too much, and even when we're not, things are tense and awkward and far from ideal.

We've struggled with communications issues throughout our four-year relationship, but we don't feel that it's a deal-breaker issue: a good professional should be able to help us figure out how to get back to dealing with each other and with our problems like grown-ups. Once I've got my schedule for the upcoming semester hammered out, we're going to make an appointment with a relationship counsellor—for free, even, thanks to my girlfriend's employer.

Thing is, I could really use some one-on-one time with a therapist, too. That same benefits package will get me (as a domestic partner) individual therapy, and I'm confident that I'll finally be able to lick a lot of my long-standing issues. Looking forward to it, even.

Does it matter which comes first? Should I sort out my own shit before trying to improve things with my girlfriend, or should I get my proverbial house in order before I start attacking my inner demons? Would working on them simultaneously be beneficial or detrimental? Am I just overthinking a non-issue?

How do I get rid of my deepseated anger for my mother?

Anonymous — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 06:37:44 -0800

So I'm still angry at my mother for some things she did during my childhood. I don't want to be anymore. What do I do? My parents went through a rough time in their relationship when I was ~14, and my mother basically asked me at one point to choose between my happiness (no divorce) or her happiness (divorce). I chose no divorce.

Fast forward nearly 10 years later. I'm a bit more grown up, things have gotten much better between the two of them (Fortunately, they did and do love eachother very much). In my head, I've forgiven her, and understand that she was in a terrible spot in her life and made some mistakes.

However, some part of me is still extremely angry with her. I'm a pretty stable, laid back person, but I can see myself flaring up at her without justification. She's controlling, but not maliciously so, and she's just trying to be my mom, and yet I get angry with her almost every time I see her.

So. Where do I go from here? Do I need private counseling? Do I need to bring both of us to a counselor? How do I bring this up to her? How do I bring this up to her without letting my father know? (He got angry enough at her for the stuff he heard her say to me when I was young. I'd rather not do anything that would set him in any way against her, particularly at a time when her own guilt will probably be difficult enough for her)

Ideas?

Should I pay or file for coverage for therapy?

barnone — Mon, 07 Nov 2005 09:22:19 -0800

I'm thinking of seeking counseling for a variety of reasons. Being new to the US however, I have questions about how therapy will have an effect on my future health care coverage. Should I pay out-of-pocket or file for coverage? I have Blue Cross/Blue Shield in the US, and if I use someone in-network, they cover 80% and if it's out of network, it's 60%. I could just pay out-of-pocket - it would stretch me, but I would be willing to make sacrifices elsewhere to let it happen if it was really worth it. But, I pay enough in health care coverage already, that if it makes sense to use it, I will.

My question is this: how does seeking mental health help effect future a) employment b) health care coverage/prices c) anything else?

I know that the HMO will need a 'code' from the therapist as to a diagnosis for appropriate charges. That doesn't concern me as much as future implications for that diagnosis. Who can access that information? What would they know? Will this matter?

I'm not paranoid of 'ohmigod mental health stigma' but I would just like to make an informed decision based on future possible implications. This is the first time I've ever really dealt with the US health care system, and it's a little overwhelming.

Transatlantic counselling

Anonymous — Wed, 11 May 2005 06:16:27 -0800

My fiancee and I are having real issues and would like counselling asap to attempt to reconcile them (I'm in individual conunselling now). The problem? She's in Texas, I'm in England. Any ideas?