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GET UP ALREADY

Anonymous — Mon, 18 May 2009 20:05:17 -0800

How do you snap yourself out of a temporary, but fairly deeply depressed state in order to accomplish tasks at hand? I have been feeling very depressed for the last month. I know myself well enough to be pretty sure it is temporary, but lately I've been really struggling with turning off the computer, going to the gym, eating well and getting things done. I have been unemployed/uninsured for several months now. In two weeks I'm moving back to my home city where I will find a good job, but whose population and cramped space I'm not quite ready to go back to, and leaving a tiny job-less city where I have a quiet life that I'm sad to leave in some ways. And that's the purgatory I am currently stuck in. It's all very bittersweet.

I'm leaving things I love (cheap, spacious, beautiful apt - my sanctuary - and also selling my car). And leaving things that are really painful (unemployment, friends have left/are leaving). And I'm moving on to things that are scary and less than ideal (homeless for a month or two; small, cramped, expensive apt eventually; loss of car) but I know I will be fine in a couple months.

So I know logically things are OK. I have a plan. I just CANNOT follow through with it for the life of me. I am extremely lonely here in this tiny city, made worse by visits home where I have friends, family, job prospects. I come back to this apt I love and hate to leave, worry about money, and just get really depressed, like I've never been.

I have two weeks to pack up my apt, get things into storage and secure a couch to sleep on. I know that I will get it done, no question, but I do NOT want to be paralyzed and upset for the next two weeks and leave it all to the last minute. I'm just so mad at myself for getting to this point and for not taking care of myself the way I need to. I occasionally feel a glimmer of motivation, but it's fleeting. I really don't have anyone here to even help me pack. It's just me, my computer, and my apt waiting to be boxed up.

So I'm looking for specific ways to motivate myself to face all of this insanity and start getting things done. What kinds of things do you do or say to yourself when you are in the moment of feeling paralyzed? How do you force yourself to get up and start on really difficult, emotionally-charged tasks?

It's just so much easier said than done.

It pays my way but it corrodes my soul (and nerves)

sister nunchaku of love and mercy — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 08:46:38 -0800

BadBossFilter: Earlier this year the funding for my previous job was cut, and I was about to leave when an acquaintance offered me a position in her group--she knew my work, and she had an opening for me. I was glad to work with her, as I liked what I knew of her, and her reputation in the company was good. Fast forward to now, when she turns out to be a terrible boss. I want to leave as soon as I can, but I have to survive somehow until I can get out, and I will need a letter of recommendation from this difficult person. My new boss is mistrustful, micromanaging to an absurd degree, ill-tempered, and bullying. She's also mistress of the double-bind--e.g., if you ask her questions about an assigned task, you're stupid, but if you don't ask for the info you need, you're "not assertive enough." You never know when an innocuous discussion will turn into belittling attack on the many shortcomings of your work, or when you'll get ambushed in the middle of your morning by a nasty phone call.

Yesterday she threatened to fire me due to "poor project management" after I came in a day late on a non-critical deadline, when she herself made the last minute changes that caused the delay.

I concede that my work is not perfect, but it never will be. I am doing my best, working long hours and some weekends, and vetting my work carefully. (But I am nervous as a cat with kittens and make more stupid errors than usual.) I am not the only person treated this way. Other people in the office say she "picks on" people serially, and so when another employee screws up worse, that'll take the heat off me somewhat. This does not cheer me up.

My health, mental and general, is suffering. I feel like I have some weird form of office PTSD--my stomach clenches at the sound of the phone or an e-mail notification, thinking that I'm getting another nastygram.

Anybody had a boss like this? How do I deal with Ms. Double-Bind until I can get out of here? My stress levels are through the roof already.

Also: is it possible to get a decent recommendation from this person? I want to change careers eventually, but I have to make a living for the present, so I need another job.

Hope this is not too much venting and too little asking. Thanks, hive mind.

How do you handle depression?

edgeways — Wed, 16 Feb 2005 12:44:58 -0800

How do you handle depression? [+]