I need help in figuring out how to respond to a work situation between my boss and my staff. I am the second in command in our office, and manage all of the administrative staff. The administrative staff support all of the professional staff. (Think something like a law firm, or university department, where professional staff rely on and share administrative support). My boss is driving my administrative staff crazy.
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posted by It's a Parasox
on Jun 17, 2013 -
28 answers
The problems are pretty standard: our next-door neighbors are a mom with four teen-age daughters who seem to thrive on conflict. Their screaming fights and door-slammings keep us awake; their response to polite requests that they not do this have been retaliation (full details inside!). The twist is that we live in a conservative suburb and we are both trans gender, so their social credibility is way higher than ours (in part because of rumors they spread), so it's hard to figure out what action we might take.
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posted by DrMew
on May 9, 2013 -
19 answers
Last night, my next door neighbour flipped out and threatened to call the cops for opening and closing our patio door every night.
My roommate and I live in a small apartment complex comprised of three buildings, and our suites (ours and the neighbours) are on the ground level, facing the courtyard. Roommate and I are smokers, and while smoking IS allowed on premises, it is NOT allowed indoors. As such, the patio is utilized.
We both work later shifts, and get home between 11pm and 12am on days that we work, and go about our own business quietly until we've wound down enough to go to sleep. Winding down time includes smoking. This is unlikely to change anytime soon.
What I need help with is either a script for talking to Neighbour (who we've always gotten along with prior to this) before things turn sour, or some perspetive as to why the noise I'm making is unreasonable. Snowflakes ahoy!
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posted by rideunicorns
on May 7, 2013 -
59 answers
My mother and mother-in-law have had a falling out due to a misunderstanding on my mother-in-law's part. My mother-in-law lives with me and my mother is due to visit in the summer (she lives abroad). Before I collapse with stress, I need some external perspective on this issue. Help!
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 8, 2013 -
15 answers
I’m in a small and incestuous field. My current employer has boundary issues and doesn't respect my time - it's driving me up the wall. I have to be very careful about how I handle this, since he has fingers in most of the pies in town. How can I assert myself without jeopardising my chances of future work?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 26, 2013 -
16 answers
I'm about to enter a second-degree program, and I expect that my small cohort group and I are going to be very different people. I'd like to bridge the gap, but I worry that my weird, assertive, and outspoken tendencies are going to alienate me. Help.
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posted by sibboleth
on Mar 13, 2013 -
10 answers
My Dad is angry and upset with his child who lives on another continent. She is disrespectful to him and he is abrasive and hurtful in return (albeit with good motives overall). And I've been asked to mediate.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 13, 2013 -
43 answers
When shooting and preparing an image file for print, I've always tried to set things up so that the highlights are bright, the shadows are dark, and everything else is in the middle. At work, I've occasionally been told by my immediate superior that I'm overexposing my images, and that the highlight detail is, in their words, 'blown away'. Checking my files, the highlights in the images in question cut off around 245, sometimes as low as 240! Is there a reason why they'd want the highlights even greyer?
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posted by rhooke
on Feb 28, 2013 -
12 answers
Marital quarrel where both partners were equally at fault (in different, unrelated ways). What are some frameworks/techniques for talking this out evenhandedly without the conversation shifting to be mostly about only one person's concerns, ignoring the other's?
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posted by Bardolph
on Feb 12, 2013 -
27 answers
I am in a really amazing relationship after a long, bad one. It is mutually supportive, caring, engaging, and honest—loving, in the best, most positive way. We never fight. This confuses me, and I need some reality-checking and standards for how normal good relationships are supposed to work.
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posted by sockpuppet yo
on Jan 22, 2013 -
23 answers
Hello fellow academics. I have a situation, that I am sure you're familiar with: I want out of a research team that has been, rather pitifully, working toward a publication for the last 2 years, the end result of which is a majestic, incoherent piece of garbage that has already been rejected by various top conferences and journals. I want out but the problem is that I've done most of the work as second author and I'd rather not see my hard work be attributed to the first author on the manuscript should it somehow get published. What is the best solution in this case?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 15, 2013 -
7 answers
Sometimes, people will hurt me - and then get so upset about having done so, that they want
me to comfort
them. Or else they become so inconsolable that we can’t move forward without talking about their feelings. How do you handle these situations when what you need is time to process your own hurt?
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posted by Someone Else's Story
on Jan 11, 2013 -
35 answers
How to confront parents about an event which really hurt when I was younger and continues to plague my life/our relationship now (over ten years later)?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 9, 2013 -
38 answers
At work, my slightly-more-experienced colleague makes a habit of saying subtle and/or ambigious cricitisms, disguised as innocent remarks. I spoke to management about it recently but they couldn't see the problem. How should I deal with a work colleague who tries to undermine me and make me look bad, but who is subtle enough not to get caught?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 19, 2012 -
27 answers
How to deal with incompatible conflict styles? My boyfriend avoids and I try to confront/face things. He hates to talk about it. I hate to leave it unaddressed. It's straining the relationship.
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posted by hungry hippo
on Nov 19, 2012 -
44 answers
Help me brainstorm for a new project! What are some iconic conflicts in history (not necessarily military)?
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posted by Jezztek
on Nov 2, 2012 -
39 answers
This is a long and stupid question about an old friendship and its affect on my family. Very, very special snowflake.
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posted by TomMelee
on Oct 8, 2012 -
26 answers
A man died near our condo 7 years ago, and anonymous neighbors maintain a memorial at the relevant telephone pole by attaching stuffed animals, artificial flowers, and other stuff to it, which weather eventually turns into trash. The city has occasionally (rarely) removed it, but the mourners pile more on right away. How can we best negotiate an end to this long-running custom?
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posted by mmiddle
on Sep 18, 2012 -
79 answers
I am looking for more songs similar to
10cc's "I'm not in love". Specifically, songs about attraction or falling in love but feeling conflicted over it or uncomfortable with it or questioning it. Difficulty: Must also be non-venomous, non-hostile, non-accusatory. So I am not looking for songs like "You give love a bad name" or Britney Spears "Toxic".
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posted by Michele in California
on Sep 5, 2012 -
55 answers
You have been in a healthy relationship for a long time? Help me figuring out how to feel and what to do about a conflict of interest between my partner and me concerning a third person.
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 20, 2012 -
21 answers
How do I cope with a coworker bossing me when she's not my boss? Today my coworker straight up told me that she was delegating a specific project to me and her supervisee "to free up [her] time for other things." Although I want to work on the project, I don't want her thinking she can just delegate work to me whenever she gets too busy. Bonus: I’m finding it difficult to work with her supervisee.
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posted by Sock Career-Puppet
on Jun 14, 2012 -
25 answers
I want to keep my sanity when my MIL comes to visit, but this strange dynamic is making it very challenging. What steps can I take to make these times more bearable?
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posted by okay-quiet-time
on Jun 8, 2012 -
33 answers
Dad and I don't really get along, and I don't feel happy or comfortable in the same house as him. What can I do to make things better, short of moving out?
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posted by cucumber patch
on May 28, 2012 -
23 answers
I am interested in seeing some comparative data on the civilian casualties of warfare, particularly in the 20th and 21st centuries. Are there any great analyses of this topic, perhaps on DVD, YouTube, or illustrated in books with graphs? (I have a hard time envisioning the magnitude of these things when they are presented only as bald numbers.) I started thinking about this topic after watching
The Fog of War, which is a documentary about
Robert McNamara. He presented some amazing comparative information about World War II and the Cold War. I would love to acquire a similar critical context for other conflicts, including the recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
posted by mortaddams
on May 22, 2012 -
1 answer
How do really good and thorough event planners find dates with the fewest conflicts? I am in San Francisco, planning music events, and would love to find a comprehensive calendar including major festivals, concerts, bridge closures, naked marathons, sporting events, etc. Failing a comprehensive calendar, what main Bay Area calendar resources would you use?
posted by purplefiber
on May 12, 2012 -
6 answers
I work with a hostile coworker who has recently become my superior. Tomorrow we will be having a meeting to address complaints that me and other employees have with her, and our boss basically wants to put us in a room and have us sort this out. How can I make this productive and maintain my own integrity when I feel anxious and somewhat cowed by her domineering personality?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 24, 2012 -
21 answers
I screwed up at work and talked badly, albeit truthfully, about a coworker. The person I spoke to told this coworker what I had said and I feel terrible. What steps I can take to make this right?
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posted by abirdinthehand
on Mar 13, 2012 -
21 answers
How do I express myself strongly and disagree openly while being inoffensive? I have strong opinions coupled with a strong desire for harmony: overactive dollops of both sarcastic-foot-in-mouth disease and sensitivity-itis, and no idea how to use them in any real-time balance together!
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posted by reenka
on Mar 8, 2012 -
20 answers
What's the best way to ask a colleague to work with you, when they used to be the lead on a project that you now manage?
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posted by abirdinthehand
on Mar 5, 2012 -
4 answers
Is continuing to see a psychologist that was initially hired by my employer to assess my fitness for work an ethical issue if I am no longer employed with that organization?
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posted by ariyadhana
on Jan 28, 2012 -
4 answers
How I effectively complain to my university administration/international program about a totally incompetent study abroad adviser?
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posted by snowysoul
on Jan 26, 2012 -
8 answers
How do I become comfortable with how my father chooses to be involved in my life (minimally, not of his own initiative) as an adult? What are the limits between healthy and compassionate effort on my part and a realistic acknowledgment of both of our limitations?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 24, 2012 -
8 answers
What are good history books covering Japanese militarism in the first half of the 20th century?
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posted by jeremias
on Jan 16, 2012 -
5 answers
How do I address my parents' insistence on bringing a dog into our house when my wife is opposed to it?
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posted by Run.Faster
on Dec 23, 2011 -
56 answers
Book filter - I am looking for books and other resources that teach interpersonal communication skills.
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posted by 7life
on Nov 28, 2011 -
5 answers
Some of my friends are having a party and have invited an emotionally unstable individual with whom I've had some stressful clashes. Should I attend knowing there's a good chance I'll get in a fight, or should I say I can't make it to spare my friends the drama?
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posted by deathpanels
on Nov 14, 2011 -
29 answers
How do you deal with the haters - especially when you're outnumbered and they've got more power than you? Anon due to possible personal/career risks.
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 31, 2011 -
29 answers
Help me understand my boyfriend's reaction to this relationship issue. While you're at it, help me figure out mine. I'm desperate.
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 13, 2011 -
34 answers
What approximate percentage of the human population that has ever existed has lived a life free from violence on a mass scale?
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posted by jlowen
on Sep 29, 2011 -
10 answers
