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Help me be stronger and more resilient

Self defeating thoughts make it hard to get things done. I want to be able to enjoy my time at school, but my low self confidence causes a lot of anxiety. Is there a way I can shift my perspective? [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Sep 28, 2014 - 7 answers

Give me confidence! Or some semblance of it.

I have a self deprecating sense of humour and I've come to realise that I can take it too far. I can sometimes play dumb and it gives the impression that I don't know what I'm doing/talking about. But at this point in my life/career, I do!! (in certain areas, I think). Help me change my wiring. [more inside]
posted by scuza on Aug 28, 2014 - 17 answers

So I'm pretty much not looking for a suit on craigslist anymore, right?

I have a very very niche job. I've been doing it for over ten years now and have made about $28,000 per year. Because of my experience, I was called in for a meet and greet. It was going to lead nowhere. So, I pretty much blew it off, and blew the next one off, and showed up to the third because it was on my way home. They hired me and gave me a job that pays about $786,000 per year. I was told that they had reservations about me and told me they were bothered by the fact that I wore "denim with unpatched holes" at the interview. I didn't even think I was being considered. This is very unreal. And now I will have a job that pays me more in my bimonthly check than my last year's entire gross. I will be working with a different clientele, and my position will have more prestige than previously. So how do I dress? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 20, 2014 - 58 answers

What are some activities/dates I can do to boost confidence?

I haven't been feeling so confident lately. I know my SO could also be much happier if she felt a bit more confident. When we first met around 3 years ago, we were both extremely confident. Now we seem to have trouble being decisive, making decisions to better ourselves/get necessary things done, and choosing a restaurant or a date idea gets harder and harder. I would love ideas of things that could help with this. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on Aug 11, 2014 - 26 answers

Keep Going, Please

What restores your confidence after a significant setback? I need to remind myself why pursuing your passion is worth it when it can be so unpredictable. I'll take anything from deep, meaningful advice to funny motivators. [more inside]
posted by sapien on Aug 11, 2014 - 14 answers

Micromanagement is giving me a sad

The micromanagement in my workplace is starting to impact seriously on my confidence. How best to handle this? [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Jul 18, 2014 - 14 answers

How do I control my high anxiety and sensitivity when dating?

How I can I better handle these intense feelings and hold them in while maintaining the confidence and calmness that made the woman like me in the first place? [more inside]
posted by My Famous Mistake on Jun 13, 2014 - 26 answers

How have you improved job-related self confidence?

I've only very recently identified a recurring behavior/thought pattern in myself. In hindsight, I am surprised it's taken me this long to realize what I'm doing. I guess I'd just call it a lack of self confidence when it comes to work, but there may be more at play. I doubt this is totally unique, so I'd appreciate any advice people have had on improving it. [more inside]
posted by primethyme on Jun 2, 2014 - 11 answers

You don't usually come to these things...

Want to rejoin the herd at my University hall! Any tips on doing this without seeming awkward and desperate? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Apr 22, 2014 - 7 answers

Achieve customer's confidence in a service they're not paying for

I work for an IT company that provides certain VIP customers with consultancy services, free of charge for them. My job is basically help them identify new business needs, get first-hand information about their plans and projects, do some consulting work related to IT management methodologies, suggest ways to fix non-optimal business processes and in general, manage the business relationship at the highest level (CIOs and CEOs). [more inside]
posted by Matrod on Apr 3, 2014 - 7 answers

What exactly IS confidence?

I'm a 27 year old woman who is chronically unlucky in love. Everyone says the secret ingredient to meeting that special someone is confidence, but what exactly IS confidence in this context? Asking my girlfriends seems to have elicited two definitions, being confident enough to flirt and be 'emotionally available', and being the kind of confident where you're a fabulous conversationalist and everyone wants to talk to you. I can do the latter, but the former I have issues with... [more inside]
posted by litereally on Mar 10, 2014 - 24 answers

How do I develop self-confidence and embrace risk-taking, generally?

What can I do to reverse my deeply rooted low self-confidence, and to become more willing to take risks? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 16, 2014 - 20 answers

Good (free) resources for overcoming sexual/emotional abuse?

How to heal after living with a sex addict? I am looking for good sources of personal empowerment concerning sexuality (female) and possibly examples of men who actually love deeply and see sex as an expression of love as well as passion...any leads? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 7, 2013 - 10 answers

"Fake it till you make it," but how, exactly?

I am mentoring two new employees in my organization, both of whom could benefit from more confidence and "presence." They have both asked me for specific tips on how to appear more confident, even if they don't feel it. The problem is that beyond stating the obvious, such as standing up straight, looking people in the eye, etc., I am having trouble getting down to details in behaviour and appearance. What do you do to appear more confident? And what signals do you look for when assessing the confidence level of another person? How does someone "own the room"? (One of my mentees is a twenty-something man, just out of school, and a bit geeky. The other is a female in her early forties, recently returned to the work force after maternity leave followed by a divorce, and clearly lacking in body confidence, despite being "normal" weight and quite pretty.)
posted by rpfields on Nov 6, 2013 - 29 answers

How to overcome insecurity about my body?

Lately I have been feeling insecure with my body and how I look. I've always hated how I look and my body, but now that I am in a committed relationship with a woman, I feel like there is this added stress of what she thinks of me too. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Sep 6, 2013 - 18 answers

I feel pretty... hideous

How do you feel pretty on bad days? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Aug 19, 2013 - 35 answers

Help me become a better, more confident driver

Until very recently, I lived in a college town where having a car was completely unnecessary. Though I had my license, I rarely drove. I am now in a place where having a car isn't absolutely necessary, but more convenient. At my parents' behest, I also now have a car, which I'm very grateful for. However, there's such a mental block for me to drive said car that I haven't driven anywhere for over a week. Any suggestions to overcome this general avoidance of driving? [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Jul 18, 2013 - 32 answers

How does one prepare for a translation exam?

I've just found out that I have two months to prepare for a translation exam as part of a job application. I am a native English speaker and an experienced translator of the source language (with some quite impressive experience at that), but I have no formal translation qualifications whatsoever. I have no idea what a translation exam might entail or whether I would be able to do it. Where do I start? How can I make the best use of the intervening time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2013 - 4 answers

Does a degree measure intelligent?

About a week ago I went through this horrible self-esteem crisis. It occurred to me that almost everyone I know has a degree from a university, but that I do not. In an organization I am a member of, everyone there is a lawyer, professor, teacher, engineer, etc., and the friends I have all have Bachelor's or Master's degrees. Here I am with no degree and having dropped out of three universities – it makes me feel like such a failure. In the next two weeks I'll be starting truck driving school – I feel like it is something I can do and be successful at? – but I still have accomplished nothing that compares to a degree! [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Jul 9, 2013 - 81 answers

Statistics question when value of test statistic t...

I'm working on a problem for "Inferences about the difference between two population means for independent samples: sigma 1 & 2 unknown and unequal." The final value of "test statistic t" falls in the rejection region for 95% confidence interval, but falls in the nonrejection region for 99% confidence interval. Should I perform additional calculations before rejecting my null hypothesis?
posted by iamcharity on Jul 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Getting over a toxic boss in time for a new job

For the past year or so, I've been supervised by an especially moody and critical manager. Fortunately, my contract ended and I'm getting ready to start a new job at a different organization. How can I get over my grudges and feel confident in my new position? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 8, 2013 - 9 answers

How to build confidence and destroy fear?

I'm working on a project designed to help people build confidence and overcome fear. As part of that, I'm trying to build a library of resources -- books, quotes, websites, video clips, etc. -- that explore what it's like to face fear and build courage. I have lots of material already, but I'm looking for more. What are some of your favorite bits about developing confidence and/or destroying fear?
posted by jdroth on Apr 26, 2013 - 10 answers

Self-promotion during self-doubt - the writing edition

I started freelance writing recently and have met a couple of people who are dream contacts -- a literary agent who's reached out to me for book ideas, and an editor who offered to have lunch with me to see what else I might contribute to their publication. The problem is, I'm very new to this and, though thrilled to be able to write for an audience, am really struggling between courageous ambition and compulsive self-effacement. I know creative producers go through this all the time. However, my question is: how do I take advantage of these opportunities ASAP in spite of it? [more inside]
posted by taramosalata on Mar 29, 2013 - 5 answers

Tips for feeling like a badass when you're temporarily not at your best?

I am just coming off a very long period of hardcore work crunch. Before I can get myself physically back on track, I am going to spend a short period of time meeting a lot of people and rocking the connections I've made. I know that attitude is 90% of people's impressions of you, but I just don't feel confident these days from the short-term toll the stress has taken on my looks. I need some tips! [more inside]
posted by pazazygeek on Mar 23, 2013 - 29 answers

How to recover from ex-boyfriend who withheld sex?

Most recent relationship did a number on my self-confidence. Help me figure out how to regain what was lost. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2013 - 17 answers

What are example of no confidence votes by college students?

What are examples of college students holding a vote of no confidence for their college president? [more inside]
posted by andoatnp on Feb 25, 2013 - 6 answers

Sick of being single, unsure of where to start

21 year old college student with past relationship experience, but I can't get a date to save my life. I believe I know the problem(s) but I'm unsure how to get started in term of solving things. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 25, 2013 - 20 answers

Fatal Attraction, how to break free?

I’m Male in my late 20s; I need help figuring out what to do about my relationship, I’ve tried breaking up a few times, but every time I get to it something in my head stops me... What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 21, 2013 - 27 answers

the perils of being good with people

I am the person at the party or the bar who can win hearts and minds, leave with everybody's contact info without asking for it, introduce like-minded people who are unable to hook up on their own, draw shy people out, etc. I'd like to learn how to do this in other areas of my life, without alcohol. I'd also like to learn how to better deal with some of the negative aspects of this kind of sociability. [more inside]
posted by par court on Feb 3, 2013 - 11 answers

It's not you, it's me... Or is it?

Need strategies for not getting stuck in my own mind for hours every day over thinking a new relationship. How to know whether you are ruining things in your own head or things are not right? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2013 - 9 answers

Help me learn to like myself.

I like myself fine when nothing depends on it, but the moment I want something or someone's approval, I shrink to nothing. How do I learn to like myself for who I am? How do I deal with self-doubt and learn to take compliments? [more inside]
posted by madsy on Jan 28, 2013 - 9 answers

Confidence: Better than Makeup and High Heels?

Does confidence really make a difference when it comes to attraction? If so, I'd like to generate enough in time for New Year's. [more inside]
posted by Ashen on Dec 18, 2012 - 26 answers

the L word

how can i learn to love myself and be more self-confident in my relationship? [more inside]
posted by happyjuice on Dec 17, 2012 - 9 answers

How do I learn to stand up for myself?

How do I become more assertive without being rude and stick up for myself? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Dec 15, 2012 - 13 answers

How can I get over feeling like I'm not good enough?

Due to my dad, I feel like I am stupid and can't do anything right. How can I rebuild my self-confidence? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Dec 4, 2012 - 16 answers

Feeling ambivalent about everything

I feel very ambivalent, like I lack perspective (but hope is abundant!), but I am not sure; this state of not knowing and being unsure of myself and what I do is tough [more inside]
posted by ahtlast93 on Nov 15, 2012 - 4 answers

Skeptical of my own abilities.

The time is drawing near when I have to make a name for myself, put myself out there, promote myself as a capable, dependable, charming, motivated, talented, creative, expressive, innovative, hirable grownup. But I'm having a bit more difficulty with this than I'd anticipated. I can't remember the last time I felt proud of anything I've done. [more inside]
posted by The Biggest Dreamer on Nov 12, 2012 - 3 answers

Martyr? I hardly even know yr!

How do you recognize and prevent situations in which attempting to stand up for yourself or for a principle of yours results in embarrassment and making yourself look belligerent, condescending, embittered, and a bit crazy? [more inside]
posted by My Famous Mistake on Nov 8, 2012 - 35 answers

Learning to know myself, and grow myself.

How do I learn to trust (and know) myself? [more inside]
posted by freeform on Nov 4, 2012 - 11 answers

Ethical conundrum

A first draft document (press release) I emailed to a new colleague for reaction and comment in a new organization I volunteer for was headed 'for your eyes only', 'confidential", and "not for release." It was copied and distributed to others and a reply to me with the explanation, "I assumed you intended others in the group to see it." My disappointment stings. My trust non-existant. While I was highly motivated to do this volunteer work, in something I believe in and value, I fear future experiences will be as frustrating and discouraging as this one. Anyone ever have similar experiences? Options seem to me to 1. ignore it, 2. Confront directly, 3. Resign.
posted by NorthCoastCafe on Nov 4, 2012 - 31 answers

Have part-time confidence, want full-time confidence.

I would like help in turning situational confidence into all-the-time confidence, particularly as it pertains to romance and dating. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 3, 2012 - 6 answers

I want to love sex again!

Help me regain my sexual confidence, after some bad experiences. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 27, 2012 - 27 answers

Help a shy girl recruit a wingwoman

How to make a best friend in university [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Oct 22, 2012 - 19 answers

How to convey enthusiasm on the job hunt?

I just moved to a big city after graduating college in August. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do, and I'm not the most ambitious or confident person, to say the least. I have a somewhat untreated case of ADD, but I don't take my meds anymore; I'm finding coffee and exercise are much better. Anyways, I have gotten two different pieces of negative feedback on my phone behavior with people who had the potential to give me a job; they both basically said I sounded unenthusiastic. What is a good way to remedy this? [more inside]
posted by bluelights on Oct 19, 2012 - 28 answers

How do I get a software internship?

How do I get a software internship? I feel like I have too little experience and won't be "good enough" [more inside]
posted by WCF on Oct 13, 2012 - 19 answers

Tell me what to believe!

What’s the best, scientifically-supported mindset for success, resilience, confidence, and rebounding from stress and failure? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2012 - 16 answers

How to trust myself again to believe in love?

The break up I recently is making me confused and it has shattered my confidence. I would like to know what happened, how falling in love is meant to be in reality and how to get back my confidence. [more inside]
posted by home on Sep 22, 2012 - 14 answers

Help Me Feel More Confident About This Super Long Presentation on Confidence (sorta)

A presentation on assertive negotiation and learning confidence: my time slot is twice as long as I expected! Can you help me brainstorm a group activity to break up the time while illustrating the concepts? Do you have any resources to share? [more inside]
posted by aabbbiee on Sep 13, 2012 - 8 answers

Moving away to university in September. What can I do to meet people, and improve my abysmal social life, confidence, and interpersonal skills?

Moving away to university in September. What can I do to meet people, and improve my abysmal social life, confidence, and interpersonal skills? [more inside]
posted by Snorlax on Aug 15, 2012 - 20 answers

Be the you you never wanted to be today!

Boot camp for personality. Put me in 7 unusual situations that boost confidence, character, and charisma. [more inside]
posted by Jason and Laszlo on Aug 6, 2012 - 37 answers

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