194 posts tagged with confidence.
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Quick fixes for imposter syndrome

I'm at a conference and feeling like a failure. I know about power poses, I've started blasting upbeat music in my headphones when I'm going from place to place, and I've started doing little mindfulness/body checks if I'm feeling really alarmed. What else can I be doing to combat my imposter syndrome/crises of confidence, right now?
posted by c'mon sea legs on Nov 15, 2015 - 19 answers

How to rebuild your confidence after a stream of rejections?

I've recently had a stream of dating-related rejections. It's gotten pretty frustrating and I've now started to see rejection as a given. How do I rebuild my confidence and get back on the horse? [more inside]
posted by sockandawe on Oct 24, 2015 - 6 answers

Confidence: How to fake it when you don't have it

How does someone with medium to low level confidence not come across as such? [more inside]
posted by milque on Sep 30, 2015 - 11 answers

Stress eating and weight gain.

Weight gain has impaired my ability to be confident. Vicious cycle. I want to break it and be healthy. Any advice? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Sep 28, 2015 - 12 answers

Well She's *Fun* to be around.

How do I become a more positive, optimistic person who is happy with who they are? [more inside]
posted by Lillypad331 on Sep 23, 2015 - 14 answers

Humans of... my town

How do I approach moving people on the street to interview them about racial identity and what sorts of questions should I ask to get the most out of them? [more inside]
posted by ihaveyourfoot on Sep 19, 2015 - 16 answers

Please suggest some short media for confidence and encouragement.

I’m trying to wrap up some big stuff these days and could use some media to boast confidence, courage, and focus. Brief prose, poetry, non-fiction, religious texts, and music would be welcome. I'd prefer to avoid longer things in order to save time. Thanks!
posted by Going To Maine on Aug 10, 2015 - 8 answers

How to practice articulating my opinions?

I've never been one to enjoy or seek out debate, arguments, or conflict. I'd much rather stay completely neutral and non-reactive when someone says something I question or disagree with. However, I've also never learned how to articulate my opinion when it's called for, and it makes me feel very insecure and resentful. Are there specific strategies that I could try out to practice this skill? It's affecting my relationship with my partner, but is a problem for me in all situations. [more inside]
posted by pants on Jul 19, 2015 - 13 answers

More self-confidence for approaching games and puzzles

I've reached the proverbial straw moment where I'm realizing that, approaching any sort of numbers/critical thinking game or challenge that is meant to be fun, is instead filling me with absolute dread. I find myself becoming incredibly tense and anxious, and very often preemptively angry at myself for OF COURSE being too stupid to pick it up, which means that often I don't even try to pick it up, which then becomes an inescapable feedback loop. I need to change this, please tell me how! [more inside]
posted by erratic meatsack on Jul 2, 2015 - 8 answers

Behaving and acting in accordance to my confident self

How to check in with myself so I speak/act/behave from my confident self rather than my insecure self? Any good rules of thumb? I want to avoid behaving in ways that badly affect my friends and family and also, myself rather than acting from anxiety and insecurity and drama and then regretting it. [more inside]
posted by rhythm_queen on Jun 21, 2015 - 6 answers

Strategies for not being physically afraid?

I'm separating from my partner, and one issue coming up is how physically frightened I am during conflict. My partner of over a decade has no history of physical abuse, although he is taller and stronger than me, and this is coming from my childhood of repeated physical and sexual abuse, as well as being in situations as an adult where I was physically intimidated by strangers. I would like practical tips and ideas for how to build up my instinctive confidence that I'm not going to get hit. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2015 - 11 answers

Help me be myself in the world of dating.

How do I feel more confident about myself? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Nov 21, 2014 - 12 answers

I'm going to be on TV! Help me look decent!

I just found out I'm going to be interviewed for a PR thing for my workplace tomorrow, and it will air on local news. Exciting! But I'm so worried I will look bloated/saggy/dull/sleepy or talk with a lisp or a weird accent or completely lose my mind and stare blankly at the camera, sweating. What are some tips to help me look, feel, and speak at my best? [more inside]
posted by elken on Nov 4, 2014 - 26 answers

How do I not be a meet cute mouse?

Meet cute happens. (Yes, these actually happen IRL.) The next time I encounter my meet cute, suddenly this successful, smart, outspoken women becomes a mouse. Literally small and fuzzy and hiding in a corner if at all possible. Any concrete strategies for not doing this? HALP! Example and background after the break. [more inside]
posted by susiswimmer on Oct 8, 2014 - 21 answers

My work cup filleth over with self-doubt. How shall I banish it?

I seem to have lost my work mojo. We also just got a new guy who I don't like/am threatened by. How do I deal with this? Snowflake melting inside. [more inside]
posted by IzzeYum on Oct 8, 2014 - 23 answers

Aiming for confidence in second career, despite Impostor Syndrome

I am a middle-aged person who changed careers about six years ago. I love my second career, data visualization; I have dreamed of doing this as a job for decades. I really want to excel, because I think it's a fascinating and useful field. I love to pore over the amazing, beautiful, limit-expanding work being done by others... who I then always remember are highly trained specialists, way out of my league. [more inside]
posted by GrammarMoses on Oct 4, 2014 - 9 answers

Help me be stronger and more resilient

Self defeating thoughts make it hard to get things done. I want to be able to enjoy my time at school, but my low self confidence causes a lot of anxiety. Is there a way I can shift my perspective? [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Sep 28, 2014 - 7 answers

Give me confidence! Or some semblance of it.

I have a self deprecating sense of humour and I've come to realise that I can take it too far. I can sometimes play dumb and it gives the impression that I don't know what I'm doing/talking about. But at this point in my life/career, I do!! (in certain areas, I think). Help me change my wiring. [more inside]
posted by scuza on Aug 28, 2014 - 17 answers

So I'm pretty much not looking for a suit on craigslist anymore, right?

I have a very very niche job. I've been doing it for over ten years now and have made about $28,000 per year. Because of my experience, I was called in for a meet and greet. It was going to lead nowhere. So, I pretty much blew it off, and blew the next one off, and showed up to the third because it was on my way home. They hired me and gave me a job that pays about $786,000 per year. I was told that they had reservations about me and told me they were bothered by the fact that I wore "denim with unpatched holes" at the interview. I didn't even think I was being considered. This is very unreal. And now I will have a job that pays me more in my bimonthly check than my last year's entire gross. I will be working with a different clientele, and my position will have more prestige than previously. So how do I dress? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 20, 2014 - 58 answers

What are some activities/dates I can do to boost confidence?

I haven't been feeling so confident lately. I know my SO could also be much happier if she felt a bit more confident. When we first met around 3 years ago, we were both extremely confident. Now we seem to have trouble being decisive, making decisions to better ourselves/get necessary things done, and choosing a restaurant or a date idea gets harder and harder. I would love ideas of things that could help with this. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on Aug 11, 2014 - 26 answers

Keep Going, Please

What restores your confidence after a significant setback? I need to remind myself why pursuing your passion is worth it when it can be so unpredictable. I'll take anything from deep, meaningful advice to funny motivators. [more inside]
posted by sapien on Aug 11, 2014 - 14 answers

Micromanagement is giving me a sad

The micromanagement in my workplace is starting to impact seriously on my confidence. How best to handle this? [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Jul 18, 2014 - 14 answers

How do I control my high anxiety and sensitivity when dating?

How I can I better handle these intense feelings and hold them in while maintaining the confidence and calmness that made the woman like me in the first place? [more inside]
posted by My Famous Mistake on Jun 13, 2014 - 26 answers

How have you improved job-related self confidence?

I've only very recently identified a recurring behavior/thought pattern in myself. In hindsight, I am surprised it's taken me this long to realize what I'm doing. I guess I'd just call it a lack of self confidence when it comes to work, but there may be more at play. I doubt this is totally unique, so I'd appreciate any advice people have had on improving it. [more inside]
posted by primethyme on Jun 2, 2014 - 11 answers

You don't usually come to these things...

Want to rejoin the herd at my University hall! Any tips on doing this without seeming awkward and desperate? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Apr 22, 2014 - 7 answers

Achieve customer's confidence in a service they're not paying for

I work for an IT company that provides certain VIP customers with consultancy services, free of charge for them. My job is basically help them identify new business needs, get first-hand information about their plans and projects, do some consulting work related to IT management methodologies, suggest ways to fix non-optimal business processes and in general, manage the business relationship at the highest level (CIOs and CEOs). [more inside]
posted by Matrod on Apr 3, 2014 - 7 answers

What exactly IS confidence?

I'm a 27 year old woman who is chronically unlucky in love. Everyone says the secret ingredient to meeting that special someone is confidence, but what exactly IS confidence in this context? Asking my girlfriends seems to have elicited two definitions, being confident enough to flirt and be 'emotionally available', and being the kind of confident where you're a fabulous conversationalist and everyone wants to talk to you. I can do the latter, but the former I have issues with... [more inside]
posted by litereally on Mar 10, 2014 - 24 answers

How do I develop self-confidence and embrace risk-taking, generally?

What can I do to reverse my deeply rooted low self-confidence, and to become more willing to take risks? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 16, 2014 - 20 answers

Good (free) resources for overcoming sexual/emotional abuse?

How to heal after living with a sex addict? I am looking for good sources of personal empowerment concerning sexuality (female) and possibly examples of men who actually love deeply and see sex as an expression of love as well as passion...any leads? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 7, 2013 - 10 answers

"Fake it till you make it," but how, exactly?

I am mentoring two new employees in my organization, both of whom could benefit from more confidence and "presence." They have both asked me for specific tips on how to appear more confident, even if they don't feel it. The problem is that beyond stating the obvious, such as standing up straight, looking people in the eye, etc., I am having trouble getting down to details in behaviour and appearance. What do you do to appear more confident? And what signals do you look for when assessing the confidence level of another person? How does someone "own the room"? (One of my mentees is a twenty-something man, just out of school, and a bit geeky. The other is a female in her early forties, recently returned to the work force after maternity leave followed by a divorce, and clearly lacking in body confidence, despite being "normal" weight and quite pretty.)
posted by rpfields on Nov 6, 2013 - 29 answers

How to overcome insecurity about my body?

Lately I have been feeling insecure with my body and how I look. I've always hated how I look and my body, but now that I am in a committed relationship with a woman, I feel like there is this added stress of what she thinks of me too. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Sep 6, 2013 - 18 answers

I feel pretty... hideous

How do you feel pretty on bad days? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Aug 19, 2013 - 35 answers

Help me become a better, more confident driver

Until very recently, I lived in a college town where having a car was completely unnecessary. Though I had my license, I rarely drove. I am now in a place where having a car isn't absolutely necessary, but more convenient. At my parents' behest, I also now have a car, which I'm very grateful for. However, there's such a mental block for me to drive said car that I haven't driven anywhere for over a week. Any suggestions to overcome this general avoidance of driving? [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Jul 18, 2013 - 32 answers

How does one prepare for a translation exam?

I've just found out that I have two months to prepare for a translation exam as part of a job application. I am a native English speaker and an experienced translator of the source language (with some quite impressive experience at that), but I have no formal translation qualifications whatsoever. I have no idea what a translation exam might entail or whether I would be able to do it. Where do I start? How can I make the best use of the intervening time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2013 - 4 answers

Does a degree measure intelligent?

About a week ago I went through this horrible self-esteem crisis. It occurred to me that almost everyone I know has a degree from a university, but that I do not. In an organization I am a member of, everyone there is a lawyer, professor, teacher, engineer, etc., and the friends I have all have Bachelor's or Master's degrees. Here I am with no degree and having dropped out of three universities – it makes me feel like such a failure. In the next two weeks I'll be starting truck driving school – I feel like it is something I can do and be successful at? – but I still have accomplished nothing that compares to a degree! [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Jul 9, 2013 - 81 answers

Statistics question when value of test statistic t...

I'm working on a problem for "Inferences about the difference between two population means for independent samples: sigma 1 & 2 unknown and unequal." The final value of "test statistic t" falls in the rejection region for 95% confidence interval, but falls in the nonrejection region for 99% confidence interval. Should I perform additional calculations before rejecting my null hypothesis?
posted by iamcharity on Jul 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Getting over a toxic boss in time for a new job

For the past year or so, I've been supervised by an especially moody and critical manager. Fortunately, my contract ended and I'm getting ready to start a new job at a different organization. How can I get over my grudges and feel confident in my new position? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 8, 2013 - 9 answers

How to build confidence and destroy fear?

I'm working on a project designed to help people build confidence and overcome fear. As part of that, I'm trying to build a library of resources -- books, quotes, websites, video clips, etc. -- that explore what it's like to face fear and build courage. I have lots of material already, but I'm looking for more. What are some of your favorite bits about developing confidence and/or destroying fear?
posted by jdroth on Apr 26, 2013 - 10 answers

Self-promotion during self-doubt - the writing edition

I started freelance writing recently and have met a couple of people who are dream contacts -- a literary agent who's reached out to me for book ideas, and an editor who offered to have lunch with me to see what else I might contribute to their publication. The problem is, I'm very new to this and, though thrilled to be able to write for an audience, am really struggling between courageous ambition and compulsive self-effacement. I know creative producers go through this all the time. However, my question is: how do I take advantage of these opportunities ASAP in spite of it? [more inside]
posted by taramosalata on Mar 29, 2013 - 5 answers

Tips for feeling like a badass when you're temporarily not at your best?

I am just coming off a very long period of hardcore work crunch. Before I can get myself physically back on track, I am going to spend a short period of time meeting a lot of people and rocking the connections I've made. I know that attitude is 90% of people's impressions of you, but I just don't feel confident these days from the short-term toll the stress has taken on my looks. I need some tips! [more inside]
posted by pazazygeek on Mar 23, 2013 - 29 answers

How to recover from ex-boyfriend who withheld sex?

Most recent relationship did a number on my self-confidence. Help me figure out how to regain what was lost. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2013 - 17 answers

What are example of no confidence votes by college students?

What are examples of college students holding a vote of no confidence for their college president? [more inside]
posted by andoatnp on Feb 25, 2013 - 6 answers

Sick of being single, unsure of where to start

21 year old college student with past relationship experience, but I can't get a date to save my life. I believe I know the problem(s) but I'm unsure how to get started in term of solving things. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 25, 2013 - 20 answers

Fatal Attraction, how to break free?

I’m Male in my late 20s; I need help figuring out what to do about my relationship, I’ve tried breaking up a few times, but every time I get to it something in my head stops me... What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 21, 2013 - 27 answers

the perils of being good with people

I am the person at the party or the bar who can win hearts and minds, leave with everybody's contact info without asking for it, introduce like-minded people who are unable to hook up on their own, draw shy people out, etc. I'd like to learn how to do this in other areas of my life, without alcohol. I'd also like to learn how to better deal with some of the negative aspects of this kind of sociability. [more inside]
posted by par court on Feb 3, 2013 - 11 answers

It's not you, it's me... Or is it?

Need strategies for not getting stuck in my own mind for hours every day over thinking a new relationship. How to know whether you are ruining things in your own head or things are not right? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2013 - 9 answers

Help me learn to like myself.

I like myself fine when nothing depends on it, but the moment I want something or someone's approval, I shrink to nothing. How do I learn to like myself for who I am? How do I deal with self-doubt and learn to take compliments? [more inside]
posted by madsy on Jan 28, 2013 - 9 answers

Confidence: Better than Makeup and High Heels?

Does confidence really make a difference when it comes to attraction? If so, I'd like to generate enough in time for New Year's. [more inside]
posted by Ashen on Dec 18, 2012 - 26 answers

the L word

how can i learn to love myself and be more self-confident in my relationship? [more inside]
posted by happyjuice on Dec 17, 2012 - 9 answers

How do I learn to stand up for myself?

How do I become more assertive without being rude and stick up for myself? [more inside]
posted by morning_television on Dec 15, 2012 - 13 answers

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