Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with confession

Between a Confession and a Hard Place

DWRoelands — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 09:30:24 -0800

LawFilter: You're a criminal defense attorney defending a murder suspect. Your client is guilty. What now? I'd be very interested to hear from MetaLawyers on this. Note: I'm not seeking legal advice and this is a completely hypothetical construct.

If your client is guilty and tells you he's guilty:

1. Are you obligated to continue representing him or can you dump him? I'm referring to regulatory obligations or Bar Association obligations.

2. Are you obligated to inform someone? (Same obligations as above)

3. More subjectively, if you COULD drop the client, would you? If you COULD tell someone, would you?

My question is motivated mostly out of sheer ignorance as to how the legal system works from this point of view.

Should I have a heavy conscience?

osloheart — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 01:27:19 -0800

Should I have a heavy conscience or is it none of his business? My boyfriend and I have been together 4 years. A year ago, we broke up for two months, and I was a mess. I had a one night stand during the breakup with someone he knows and doesnt like. It was a drunk and vulnerable situation and a stupid decision, and nobody knows about it. But it totally haunts me. A month after 'that night' he wanted me back and I was so happy I never told him. At the time, I went with the "he broke your heart and you werent together at the time so its none of his business" ...

So, I love my boyfriend, but I dont know if he loves me. He is very distant and I am not sure if we are going to stay together. I still feel like I need to tell him, but I am afraid that will be it and he will never want to see me again.

Im confused and Im sorry if this confuses you too. But I would really appreciate any advice.

Thanks..

Do I tell my engaged friend that I love her?

Anonymous — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 09:27:25 -0800

Is it worth telling my best friend, who just got engaged, that I'm secretly in love with her? My best friend, who I've known for almost ten years and had at least a mild crush on for that entire time, just told me tonight that she was engaged. I said congratulations, played it cool, and then drank some whiskey.

This is the one person who I've really thought I could marry. She's lived in a different city for most of the time I've known her, but we talk at least once a week for two hours, even though she hates talking on the phone to everyone else. I feel completely in sync with her and always thought "well, if we end up living in the same place, one day we'll probably end up together." Sometimes, we joked about it. But now, I no longer have the secure feeling of inevitability.

A couple of years ago, I talked a very small amount about my feelings, just to get them off of my chest, but I told her I didn't want to get into a long distance relationship and that was basically it. After all, eventually, I'd have my life together, I'd be done with school, and then I could bring it up again.

But now, there's really nothing I can do, right? If she's happy, then I'm just selfish to confess my feelings, aren't I?

And just to be clear, this isn't just random, childish infatuation. This is the person who is most important to me in my entire world and has been for years. She is closer to me than any of my family members or friends and she is the person I trust more than anyone. We respect each other's opinions and admire each other's talents. I've only had a real argument with her once in ten years, but we debate things all the time. I also know that we'll still be friends even if she is married, and I hold no illusions that this is the end of my world.

Yet, I can't imagine clicking with anyone better than this woman. So do I tell her that, or do I hold it inside and accept that I'm alone.

If you need to ask anything, email is myfriendisgettingmarried@gmail.com

"Hang on...what am I doing?!"

greytape — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 09:37:43 -0800

Looking for first-hand accounts of acts of genuine evil. I'm looking for first-hand accounts from people who have done stuff that, at the time or later, is considered to be unspeakably evil. Stuff like abusing children, genocide, mass mutilation/rape. I'm intrigued to know what is going through people's heads as they do these kinds of things.

Suggestions for books, articles, interviews, documentaries are all helpful. Thanks!

How much legal trouble could I get into?

geodave — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 01:14:20 -0800

I'm hosting one of those "confessional" websites, and I want to know how risky it is to post clearly-illegal "confessions". I hate vague questions like this, and I hate even more that I have to ask one.

I host a confessions website, and most of them are simply explanatory, standard and neutral from a legal standpoint.

We've had about twenty come in that are blatantly illegal, perverse, and downright scary. If it were me I'd almost be inclined to just delete them, but I'm wondering if they can be posted to the website without exposing myself to law enforcement officers trying to track down who confessed such things.

This is the setup:

The confession form exists on my site, a standard shared server (Dreamhost). All it does is take a textarea field and email it to a Google Mail address I maintain. Then, I check the email, copy the confession and stick it into my site's database. This extra (pointless) step obfuscates things like IP addresses and timestamps so it's nearly impossible for me to figure out who confessed anything.

So, if I host a blatantly evil and illegal text confession on my site, how exposed am I? They can go nuts subpoenaing both my hosting provider (Dreamhost) and Google Mail, but could I be at risk of something ridiculous like a computer seizure?

Both involved servers are in the USA, but I live in Canada.

How does a Protestant minister handle a confession of murder?

Anonymous — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 16:29:08 -0800

A murder was confessed to me. I am a minister. What is my legal obligation: to report the crime to the authorities, or to maintain the confidentiality of the confession? This is not hypothetical. The details: I was a volunteer leader at an out-of-state summer camp. After an evening sermon I preached, another adult volunteer, age 26, said he wanted to talk to me. This is his story:

Ten years earlier, when he was a junior in high school, he and his girlfriend befriended a homeless man that they only knew as Roy. Everyday after school they would pick Roy up and take him on his regular errands. One day when the confessor was sick, his girlfriend picked up Roy alone. He attacked and raped her. She called the confessor, a 6'8" jock, who found Roy and killed him in a fit of rage. This happened in a rural, country town. He loaded the body in his truck, dug a grave in a nondescript field, and buried Roy.

In the subsequent decade, no one came looking for the missing indigent. In the meantime, further tragedy: the girlfriend died in a car wreck shortly after graduation. The confessor turned to alcohol and then drugs, including cocaine, to deal with his feelings of guilt. I mention this because I have been a casual acquaintance of this person since before the event occured, and I knew of his struggles with substance abuse, and of his rehab and recovery. That part I can verify. I have no reason to doubt that the murder took place, though.

Other than a therapist, who considers this information completely confidential, he has told no one. I am torn. I pastor a Protestant, non-demoniational church. We do not consideral confession a sacrament, as a Catholic would, so there are no particular clerical obligations to uphold. Our polity is complete congregation autonomy: there is no supervising bishop or denomination headquarters to consult. Further, this person is not a member of my church, but he came to me, clearly, because he wanted to speak to a minister. I don't know if that is important or not. I am a minister, but not his minister. I am hesitant to bring this question to my friends in ministry, as most of them know this person and probably would be able to figure out of whom I am speaking. So, Mefites: any insight or guidance? Call the DA's office or forget about it, or something else?