I spend way too much time worrying about the way my friends communicate with me -- specifically, I worry that any delay in response time means that they're angry or annoyed with me, or, even more dramatically, that they don't want me around anymore. I wonder if there are any good ways to talk myself out of this. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
My partner confessed to entertaining the idea of moving out, because living with me has been difficult of late and it's starting to hurt them. Is there any way back from this? [more inside]
I'm exploring career possibilities and wondering if what I want to do has a name. I'll explain inside. [more inside]
What do you do when a problem you've been trying to work through with other people in life suddenly becomes a problem with your therapist, too? [more inside]
How to handle issues regarding a friend who is typically late to nearly all our plans? [more inside]
My son (16yo) completed a one week lifeguarding course but did not do the assessment. He's excellent in the water, but really uncomfortable doing the speaking to casualties side of it, especially the role play that has to be done as part of the assessment. Do you have any tips for him to either help him feel comfortable enough to do the assessment, or any other words of advice? We're in the UK and he'll also be reading your answers. Thanks for any help!
I need a photo management system that allows me to tag and search photos, but I'd rather it NOT be web-based. I don't really know what to look for. [more inside]
My boss travels 300+ days per year, often to countries in which internet and phone connections are unreliable or nonexistent. Communication is often bursty, sporadic, at odd hours, and tinged with anxiety. How can I better manage expectations and limit stress for both of us? [more inside]
Me, female, late 20's. Him, male, early 30's. Recently moved in together and became more serious. Then, we both apparently crossed some boundaries into less fun, more complicated territory. How would you deal? Lots of details behind cut. [more inside]
I have a new project at work which involves increasing public understanding of my industry. I've got some info on how other people in my industry have done this, but I'd like to look wider than that. I've had some luck googling "science communication" and "public understanding of science" - what other industries/sectors might be relevant? I'd also love recommendations for good articles, blogs, or even examples of good communication which make something accessible without over-simplifying the story.
You used to have a good, stable marriage. Now you have a fantastic marriage -- the kind of marriage where you are happy to wake up in the morning and see your spouse. How did you get to that point? [more inside]
Our relationship is mostly great, but we disagree about the appropriateness of expressing irritation and anger at your partner. She can be outbursty, and I can be over-sensitive, so we might bicker, and then fight about the fighting, and we're trying to break the cycle. [more inside]
My SO has a tendency to ask a lot of mundane questions that make me feel defensive. Please help be less bothered by this. [more inside]
My partner frequently tells small lies. They also keep certain things secret, including behaviors they deem private. This is a lifelong strategy that long precedes me, and in many ways, has nothing to do with me, however, it drives me up the fucking wall. [more inside]
Help me break the decision-making stalemate. Partner and I are in committed multi-year relationship. One of the places we struggle communication-wise is in decision-making, especially when neither of us have a strong preference (for example, "what do you want for dinner" or "should we go out for breakfast tomorrow?". When this happens, several things may happen: My partner will parry my question back to me "do you have any preferences?" (and if/when I don't, nothing is resolved), one of us will say "I don't really care, whatever you want", or we will stalemate in an "I don't know, what do you want to do" loop. As you can probably imagine, this makes for super frustrating interaction. Does anyone with experience with this have any advice on breaking this particular pattern?
Several different managers have told me that I need to develop a "more forceful" persona. I'm trying to work out exactly what this means. More details inside. [more inside]
It's been 32 year since they immigrated to this country, but pretty much the one and only thing my family ever talks about is the home country, and it drives me crazy. I can't change them, but I could probably handle it better. Details and the plea for help within. [more inside]
My boyfriend and I both hate making each other feel bad. Does this mean we can't talk about things that aren't going well? He in particular feels very hurt when I bring up things that are bothering me. [more inside]
My boyfriend cancels so often on our dates, and we haven't had sex even though we have been together for half a year, which makes me think he could have a sexual problem or is afraid of getting close to me. Details inside. [more inside]
Is there any way to learn how to communicate like a normal human being? [more inside]
Am I ruining a great relationship with my anxiety or am I anxious because my relationship is not great? Is there a way to tell the difference between irrational anxiety and alarm bells? [more inside]
Dear hive mind, please suggest items for a checklist of issues/expectations/questions to discuss with my significant other before we shack up next month! I was reading this question and saw that many people felt that they would never move in with a partner before discussing their finances with a certain level of detail. I would love to know what other rules of thumb people have about establishing a mutual understanding, financially, emotionally, housework-wise, etc. before cohabiting. Possibly relevant details inside. [more inside]
When I'm on the (cell) phone with another person, and I'm not able to hear what they are saying clearly, I get stuck. For persistent low-quality voice calls (i.e. when "can you talk a little louder" isn't the solution and "can you repeat that?" doesn't help), what can I do or say that doesn't make me look like an incompetent, impatient jerk? [more inside]
A common theme on AskMeFi is that a person should be able to take care of themselves first before they can be ready to establish and maintain a healthy relationship. What if the relationship itself is the driver of positive personal growth? And what if that process has been kind of painful so far? [more inside]
I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 years now, but it seems like we can't seem to find a good "groove". We're satisfied in the relationship for a while and then we get into petty fights and don't resolve them. I thought I was happy with him and really enjoyed his company. However, it's been more and more stressful and I need help figuring out if I've checked out for a while, or if the relationship has run its course. Hope me? [more inside]
I need help dealing with my anxiety over climate change. I need help figuring out how I can help. It's a bit more complex than that, but not much. [more inside]
My husband’s cousin recently killed himself. The sadness we feel is colored by intense anger at my husband’s mother, who never communicated what was going on with the cousin - or that he had moved to a city we visit frequently. Could "forgetting" to mention or misrepresenting major family information/news be a byproduct of ADHD? Yes, there's more inside... [more inside]
I quit my job about a year ago. Through a mixture of savings , part-time jobs I have managed to stay afloat. My girlfriend's birthday will be coming up next month and has asked me to fly with her to Paris. I would love to join her but believe my financial situation is not up to snuff. How do I communicate this in a manner that is positive for the both of us? Complicating factors below. [more inside]
If Don Draper were a graphic designer, how would he convince a client that his job was indispensable? Any examples on how he handled condescending clients? [more inside]
Stuck on someone, but things got weird and awkward. Would it be a good idea to open up and just let this person know how I feel about them? Wall o' text commences... [more inside]
My BIL is a sociopath. We don't deal with him. But the parents still do. Therein lies the problem... [more inside]
My wife is finally going to meet my family. Problem, they don't speak English, She doesn't speak Russian. What are good non speech dependent fun activities we can all do? [more inside]
So, along with a raise, I'm getting a new job title to recognize what my actual duties are, and I can choose it myself — but I'm no good at titles. Non-profit communications folks, can you weigh in? [more inside]
I am really terrible at 1) figuring out what the hell I want, and 2) communicating it. I've started dating a guy and this problem is magnifying my relationship anxieties by a thousand, and it's starting to make me super stressed. Please tell me what I'm doing wrong here! [more inside]
I am feeling upset about an exchange my husband and I had the other day. We have had communication issue in the past, because we have drastically different styles o expression. He had trouble controling anger and he lets his frustrations show often in his actions. Nothing violent, but a lot of huffing and puffing and frustrated sighs & sometimes slamming things a bit firmer that necessary. He knows he does this & tells me that it is just how he is, despite the fact that I have told him that it makes me uncomfortable. He thinks I read his actions wrong. They are usually not directed at me, so maybe I am too sensitive (although no one else puts me on eggshellslike this.) [more inside]
My sister was recently given a talking-to at work for her tone, after she unknowingly made one of her employees cry. She's been told she talks to people like they're stupid. And despite the fact that she is a very sweet, loving, and compassionate person, she does do that sometimes. She's not always aware of it happening, but sometimes she is, and she says it's hard to stop. Our mother was the same way, and what my sister says is, "Sometimes I feel Mom's voice coming out of me, and I hate it but I can't stop it." She's asked me for some resources that will help her learn how to communicate better, and be aware of her tone and fix it when necessary. It's especially important to her now that she's pregnant and doesn't want to talk to her child the way our mother talked to us. Any suggestions for her? I've already got Non-Violent Communication on the list, and I'm looking for good resources for children of narcissistic mothers. What else?
The recurrant scientist character has some distictive speech patterns. What do they reveal about his thought patterns? [more inside]
I've been bombing in interviews for IT Help Desk, or Desktop Support positions, and whenever I've called back the interviewer, the most common answer they give is "poor communication skills". Is there any entry point into the field that wouldn't rely so much on working with people? Would it make more sense to work as QA tester, and then try to transition to something in systems or database administration?
I asked a boy out! And he said yes! But then he didn't respond when I tried to nail down the details. What should I do now? [more inside]
Please help me mitigate/cope with my feelings about doctors/insurance and have the best visit with a general practitioner that I can after 10 years of being uninsured. This way lies snowflakes. [more inside]
I'm in a long-distance relationship: my S.O. is in California, I'm on the East Coast. We've been pretty lucky with getting to meet up regularly since his job often pays for him to come out here and I've had a number of opportunities to get out there. But I'm feeling a personality clash arising from his erratic scheduling. Question clusterbomb ahoy! [more inside]
I haven't had a boyfriend since I was 16 and I'm 22 now. I'm dating this new guy for less than a month now, and though we both seem to want to make it work, I feel we have pretty different communication styles. We've also been through quite a lot during the past few weeks which we may need help getting over. I'm incredibly bad at dating, inexperienced in romantic relationships and honestly want this to work. What do I do? [more inside]
Whenever I am anticipating a date with or a text from the guy that I'm with, I suddenly find myself avoiding everything I need to do in order to just mentally prep for that encounter. This is obviously not a productive or healthy way to anticipate a good thing, but I have acted this way since I was 16 and now at 26 I want to stop trying to be so damn available. Aside from keeping myself busy with obligations I MUST attend to lest there be Serious Repercussions, what else can I do to persuade my mind that living my life in the intervals will allow me to have better relationships, not the other way around?
My girlfriend has a diagnosed anxiety order. Oftentimes in conversation she has trouble processing what is said and pretty much shuts down. After the conversation she tells me that she was flooded and doesn't remember what we discussed. I want to learn more about psychological flooding. Can you help me find some resources to learn more about it? I didn't have much luck with my keyword searches on Google. Specifically I want to learn if there are ways I can help her become flooded less often. Thanks!
My brother needs resources to help him learn to be a better listener and friend to those he cares about. [more inside]
I work in benefits and messed up the life insurance amount for someone who died. Please help me figure out how to communicate this error to the beneficiary and upper management in the best way possible. [more inside]
I had a book release, reading, and signing party last night (it's a book I co-edited), and about halfway though the reading, one of the reader's husband pulled out his computer pad and turned it on, making all the start up noises. I find this rude and disrespectful; indeed, in the open mike culture here, people generally "respect the mike" and don't talk or take calls, but support the reader and give them energy (Energy begets energy). [more inside]
What do you think of the name "Rub" for a health spa? Is it cute or dirty and why?
Lately I've noticed it takes me a looong time to write emails- with a lot of time spent re-reading, editing, taking words out and putting them back in. I am self-conscious that my first pass is heavy on text - not good for conveying information efficiently to coworkers and supervisors. It's really getting in the way of my ability to be efficient at work and starting to show in my performance. What can I do to work on this? [more inside]
I have dated someone on and off for over a year, we have learned a lot about each other and have unfortunatly been through some ups and downs. We see each other coming out stronger than ever and working through everything but it is taking some time...I am fighting for this because I know what we have is special and what he provides me is what I have been looking for. [more inside]