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how to ask for help

I've been dating a guy since the summer. I need help with asking for things I need in the relationship. [more inside]
posted by swamp rocket on Jan 26, 2014 - 14 answers

Easy-to-use forum solution, maybe a suite of apps, other than GoogleApps

Our non-profit [a Quaker Meeting] is looking to expand our online offerings, both internally--for our members and attenders [private forums, and possibly more real-time social features], and also a more friendly and informative public-facing website than we have now. Any of the solutions should be easy to administer for people with middling to pretty good internet/computer knowledge. We are looking at Google Apps for non-profits, but so far, I'm finding their Google Groups a pretty poor approximation of a web forum. So I'd like to know what other options may be out there for us. We'd ideally like a full-featured suite of products that can grow with us, but if we build something piecemeal, are probably most interested in first having a user-friendly but robust forum. Free is ideal, inexpensive could be considered, based on features. We are a 501(c)(3). Would love pointers to software or cloud solutions, but am also interested in exploring groups that are already using such software [if they are public].
posted by QuakerMel on Jan 25, 2014 - 1 answer

Too Close For My Comfort

Ethics and friendship filter. Help me find the courage to tell my friend that this introvert is not going to stay in a single hotel room with two double beds and three non related people. It's already been advanced booked and I'm expected to pay my share. [more inside]
posted by Xurando on Jan 21, 2014 - 27 answers

How can I assert my dislike of something more effectively?

How do you honestly and politely let someone know when you don't like something that they absolutely love without opening the door for them to try and convert you into liking it? [more inside]
posted by These Birds of a Feather on Dec 28, 2013 - 24 answers

How To Talk About Sex

Occasionally, I bring up the subject of sex with my partner, and I always get nowhere. Sex has never been something that we've really talked about. We had those first few conversations when we met several years ago: disclosures of risks, general preferences, expectations for monogamy, etc. and from there we just let it develop naturally. We need to talk about it because our sex life isn't meeting my needs, and I've asked to talk about it, but I still don't know how to talk about it, and I'm afraid this is just going to become another in a string of failed attempts to talk about sex. [more inside]
posted by this *is* my happy face on Dec 19, 2013 - 28 answers

One of these things is not like the other

What is the difference between making excuses for someone's behavior and understanding where they are coming from? I don't have anything in particular in mind. I just see that phrase a lot on here and have heard it a lot. [more inside]
posted by inmyhead on Dec 6, 2013 - 14 answers

Is this what "being the breadwinner" means?

What strategies can I use to convince my husband to more openly discuss our household finances with me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2013 - 49 answers

Best suggestions for Team Communication & Collaboration Tools

We are a team of about 25 spread across two main locations with a single person in a third locale. We also use some outsourced resources now and again. We use a mish mash of tools to do everything from email (some of us use Outlook, others use Gmail with a forward, others use webmail/Zimbra, some use MacMail, etc.) to file sharing, chat and video conferencing. We need to get our act together and select the right tools. Help! [more inside]
posted by FlamingBore on Nov 13, 2013 - 6 answers

Gaming console and games for a almost 6 year old.

Looking for a gaming console and games for almost 6 year old boy, with few issues to address/target. [more inside]
posted by zaxour on Nov 13, 2013 - 12 answers

Please give me words for explaining my boundaries.

Can I explain to someone how their negative behaviors are putting me off, but maintain an amicable relationship with them? I get too emotional to find fair words. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2013 - 30 answers

I have trouble talking about myself sometimes.

How come? How can I be more comfortable with this? [more inside]
posted by mermily on Oct 25, 2013 - 6 answers

Illustration for effective communication?

Hi everyone, I'm hoping to find a picture or a scheme of some kind that illustrates effective communication techniques - or, alternately, pitfalls that should be avoided. [more inside]
posted by duvatney on Oct 24, 2013 - 5 answers

Cross cultural communication catastrophe clips?

I am looking for video clips of a specific kind of cross cultural communication gone bad: ones where a cultural outsider participates in a ceremony or ritual not understanding its full significance. [more inside]
posted by Pater Aletheias on Oct 17, 2013 - 12 answers

Best way for New Yorker to have a cell phone when in London for a week?

I'm going to London from November 1st to November 7th and I want to be able to make and receive a few phone calls... [more inside]
posted by DMelanogaster on Oct 7, 2013 - 6 answers

The Once and Future(?) Friend

What are some good resources on interpersonal communication that I can direct people to that they can read on their own time? [more inside]
posted by eviemath on Oct 7, 2013 - 11 answers

How do I approach organizations about researching them/their clients?

I'm working on research related to a specific immigrant population and I'm not sure what to do to get to know people in that community, but I figure organizations that work with them might be a good place to start. Unfortunately I'm really shy and I need guidance or a script on how to do this so I don't avoid it forever. If you've worked at an organization like this or have done similar research, how do you start? [more inside]
posted by Papagayo on Oct 5, 2013 - 6 answers

Yo Vlad wassup it's Barry. Hit me on the hip.

How do presidents call other presidents? With last week's phone call between President Obama and Iranian President Hassan Rouhani, it got me wondering how do heads of state call other heads of state? I imagine that one executive suite's switchboard calls the other's, but what's the diplomatic protocol for who picks up the phone first? Do they have super-secret phone numbers, or even phone numbers in the way we think of them? Are the calls private, or are is there an entire entourage listening in? Do they just hang up when they're finished, or is their an entire protocol for ending the conversation? What are some of the other "hidden" aspects of executive diplomatic communication and behind-the-scenes goings-on are there that the rest of us commoners never see?
posted by slogger on Oct 1, 2013 - 5 answers

Modify/hack a Google Hangout "feature": Press to Talk

I want to use a Google Hangout "On Air" for a project, but a tiny limitation is getting in the way. I would like to bypass the 'Press to Talk' functionality with a tiny browser script/hack/modification. My programming knowledge is tiny, but I am sure this could be done super super simply with a script loaded in the browser. Perhaps there's better solution. Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by 0bvious on Oct 1, 2013 - 4 answers

How to Express a Dating Deal Breaker Respectfully

Later tonight I will be going on a second date with a new guy that seems like a promising fit. One thing he brought up during the first date is that he's about to go to Amsterdam for a few days and that while there he's looking forward to relaxing and smoking pot. Pot use is a deal breaker for me, but I want to make sure I have all the facts before I let him know that. How do I collect that info respectfully, and then let him know that pot's a deal breaker for me without sounding really weird? [more inside]
posted by These Birds of a Feather on Sep 29, 2013 - 32 answers

Social skills and workplace ch-ch-changes

Very soon, I will be in a position where I will need to help lead a major change in the workplace, and one where many of the people I work with will be unhappy. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by Ms. Toad on Sep 28, 2013 - 10 answers

Dating filter: I like this guy - but he only talks about himself

I'm interested in dating and otherwise be-friend a guy. We have common interests and he seems to be "nice" and has a high level of intelligence. That said - Every conversation revolves around him. I love to ask people questions and let them "talk freely about their life or whatever"... but at some point you want to have a two-sided conversation. How can I politely make this point without coming across in the wrong way? This is not someone I have known longer then a couple dates.
posted by audio on Sep 18, 2013 - 25 answers

Compatibility without conversation

Can you build a successful romantic relationship without conversational "flow"? [more inside]
posted by chausette marionette on Sep 12, 2013 - 20 answers

How to handle loved one going on tour?

My fiancé is going on tour in support of a major pop act. This means consecutive three-month absences for the next year (maybe two) as she performs. This is her calling and her art and I support it 100%. Still, I dread her long absence and I am going to miss her as fiercely as I love her. I'm looking for ways to maintain our strength, equality, and communication, and to stave off problems that must arise. Particularly advice, anecdotes, and specific things that helped your (similar) relationship - or hurt it.
posted by fake on Sep 7, 2013 - 16 answers

Get the teens talking.

What are some great conversation starting questions to ask young people over dinner? [more inside]
posted by Mr.Me on Sep 5, 2013 - 19 answers

What are things you say casually to curb bad behavior in relationships?

For example an acquaintance has mentioned a mistake I made that is starting to make me feel embarrassed. I wasn't embarrassed until she mentioned it jokingly a few times. Nonetheless I became annoyed and would like to say 'stop it' gently enough so that we can still get to know each other but want to nip this kind of comment in the bud or at least let her know I don't like excessive teasing or sarcasm aimed at me. [more inside]
posted by PeaPod on Sep 3, 2013 - 36 answers

What are the antennas on the trucks for?

I see a lot of large trucks carrying multiple antennas. What are they for? Are they HAM/CB by any chance? If they are what are the truckers talking about? [more inside]
posted by aeighty on Aug 26, 2013 - 14 answers

Should I send my ex-wife an article on "Sensory Processing Disorder"?

I am recently divorced as of August 7. I believe one of the contributing factors leading to divorce was my ex-wife's tactile defensiveness. [more inside]
posted by speedoavenger on Aug 17, 2013 - 24 answers

How do I become more direct with my communication?

I need to be more direct with my communication, and I just find it very difficult to do it. What are some ways I can get over the fears in my head and be more direct, as in, ask for what I need directly and stop being such a pushover? [more inside]
posted by greta_01 on Aug 16, 2013 - 11 answers

Handling work communication with people who don't answer email?

How do introverts handle communication in environments where the receivers do not value email or consider it worth replying to? I find tracking people down to ask questions and make requests face-to-face or over the phone very disruptive to my work pattern (intense concentration for long periods of time) and very inefficient. I would much prefer to use email since I would consider this far less disruptive to both my workload and the recipient's workload. They can answer at their leisure, but I still expect an eventual answer if I ask a direct question (even if it's "I'm too busy to answer at the minute"). [more inside]
posted by teselecta on Aug 9, 2013 - 20 answers

Facebook and its discontents

You used to use Facebook regularly, and then you quit. Or tried to quit. Please tell me about it. [more inside]
posted by Miko on Aug 7, 2013 - 32 answers

Help me help my friend who had a stroke, without going crazy.

I want to know if anyone has had experience with a loved one having a stroke, and did it change them permanently or temporarily? Is his new verbal introspection stroke-related? And for caregivers of loved ones with any sort of health issue, how can I be there for him, in the way he needs me, and not end up tired and cranky (which helps NO ONE). [more inside]
posted by MoxieProxy on Aug 2, 2013 - 14 answers

How can I communicate with my boyfriend more effectively?

I don't know how to handle minor conflict with my boyfriend. Specifically, I don't know how to deal with myself when I do things wrong. I can't stop beating myself up in my head. [more inside]
posted by sockermom on Jul 29, 2013 - 33 answers

How do I tell a long-term friend that I want less of her in my life?

I have a long-term friend (25+ years.) For the most part, our friendship was a good one, but in the past 7 to 8 years, it's become a source of stress for me. I've tried talking with her about this, but she appears to be in denial and dismisses what I say, so nothing gets resolved, and the vicious cycle repeats. Because of our history, and my relationships with her children, parents, and brother, I don't want to cut her off completely, but I want less of her in my life. I've got to deal with this, but I don't know how. [more inside]
posted by matrushka on Jul 29, 2013 - 10 answers

How can I be more expressive?

I speak "flatly", with little inflection, tonal variation, or expressiveness. How can I change? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 25, 2013 - 12 answers

Australian university without classes?

Is there an external professional/creative communication undergraduate program with no class interaction at any Australian university? [more inside]
posted by paleyellowwithorange on Jul 10, 2013 - 9 answers

How to communicate with someone who just lost their speaking?

My grandma likely suffered a stroke this past week. She was speaking fine before but now she tries to talk and what comes out is sometimes Yiddish, sometimes Polish, occasionally English, but most of the time gibberish. We know she's still mostly there mentally but of course she is very frustrated. [more inside]
posted by cman on Jun 23, 2013 - 11 answers

Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake your tail.

My cats shake their tails, but only the bottom part. What gives? [more inside]
posted by Maisie on Jun 17, 2013 - 16 answers

It's too late to try communication

I didn't communicate with my SO before hand, and now I'm self destructing. What are my options? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 16, 2013 - 14 answers

Did I just break up with myself?

I recently had a very confusing break-up conversation that I am having a lot of trouble decoding. [more inside]
posted by karminai on Jun 2, 2013 - 21 answers

Advice for how to market myself as a design/media/communications ninja

I've got a very eclectic resume: 5-7 years of experience in several different fields at once, because I have had multiple simultaneous jobs. Now I'm looking for a new gig, and I think I have a lot to offer, but I'm not sure how to market the breadth of my skills. [more inside]
posted by overeducated_alligator on Jun 1, 2013 - 4 answers

Dealing with distance when I want constant contact and he doesn't

I've been in a relationship with a guy for 6 months. When one of us is traveling, I prefer to send lots of text messages and emails throughout the day, and I want to get messages back. He dislikes written communication and would prefer to have rare, brief phone calls and just wait until we see each other in-person again. What can I do, which won't result in frustration for one of us? [more inside]
posted by cheesecake on May 28, 2013 - 28 answers

Trains that passed in the night ... how'd they do that?

During the Civil War era, what kind of signals guided intercity trains traveling at night? [more inside]
posted by LonnieK on May 27, 2013 - 12 answers

Well, this still sucks

So my best friend has ovarian cancer. And we're in our "out of the frying pan, into the fire" moment because she's stage 4 and shit's already going poorly. How do I tell my kid? [more inside]
posted by BlahLaLa on May 27, 2013 - 22 answers

Focus Interruptus

I'm in a new relationship, long distance. We skype almost daily. Often, mid-convo, I can tell his attention is on something else. Turns out he's flipping through Reddit. This makes me feel hurt, b/c he's not listening to me. When I suggest we end the convo and talk the next day, he says, "No, no! I'm done! I'm done!" Then I feel like a nagging mom, policing his behavior. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by enzymatic on May 24, 2013 - 46 answers

I have no social skills, and no self confidence. I need to do something.

I'm 30 years old, and am basically incapable of functioning in social settings. Can't make conversation. It's long since gone past awkward. It's embarrassing. I need to change. I don't know how. [more inside]
posted by anawesomeguy on May 24, 2013 - 21 answers

Nice (girls) finish last

Help me be assertive/direct without being hostile/aggressive. Also, help me muddle through some other communication issues. Finally: can a person be nice to others without being taken advantage of? [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on May 23, 2013 - 23 answers

that talk

I've got herpes. There's a 99% chance he gave it to me. How best to tell him? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 4, 2013 - 14 answers

talking about gender in short term dating relationship

Any advice on how to discuss emotionally loaded social issues without pushing buttons? [more inside]
posted by The Noble Goofy Elk on May 4, 2013 - 40 answers

Help me tell my BFF to shut up, in the nicest of ways.

My best friend is dating a new guy and is currently in the "floating in the clouds" stage. He's all that she talks about, texts me about, emails me about, mentions, quotes, you name it. I'm happy for her, but I am quickly reaching "who cares" stage. She does this with everyone she dates, but this guy might become permanent, so I'm not brushing it off as "just wait until this passes". How can I politely tell her that we need to have conversations about OTHER THINGS? She can be very sensitive, and I don't want her to feel that I am not interested in the relationship or not happy for her. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by ElectricGoat on Apr 28, 2013 - 26 answers

Mars and Venus - are you for real?

Do men and women really have distinctly different communication styles. For those of you who are in healthy relationships (romantic love or platonic), is there a wedge in communication that you constantly have to go against your natural instincts and fine-tune in a way that you don't have to with same-sex friends? Is the stereotype true, do women need to 'talk it out' and men need to 'go to their cave'? Can women really improve the relationship by NOT talking about it and can men really improve the relationship by practicing reflective listening? Is there really a pre-programmed way to communicate based on your gender? Something in this widely-spread viewpoint really rubs me the wrong way, and I'm not sure if the cultural/societal views(at least in my area) regarding men/women relationships are in fact, entirely valid and its just my own personal issues that need work. What are your experiences?
posted by tenaciousmoon on Apr 17, 2013 - 23 answers

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