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Communication between two hypersensitive, beanplating marshmallows

My boyfriend and I both hate making each other feel bad. Does this mean we can't talk about things that aren't going well? He in particular feels very hurt when I bring up things that are bothering me. [more inside]
posted by segfault on Aug 12, 2014 - 22 answers

How can you recognize a secure person if you’re insecure?

Am I ruining a great relationship with my anxiety or am I anxious because my relationship is not great? Is there a way to tell the difference between irrational anxiety and alarm bells? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2014 - 9 answers

Is it possible to fix self-esteem issues from within a relationship?

A common theme on AskMeFi is that a person should be able to take care of themselves first before they can be ready to establish and maintain a healthy relationship. What if the relationship itself is the driver of positive personal growth? And what if that process has been kind of painful so far? [more inside]
posted by sockitysock on Jul 14, 2014 - 17 answers

A Watched Phone Never Rings

Whenever I am anticipating a date with or a text from the guy that I'm with, I suddenly find myself avoiding everything I need to do in order to just mentally prep for that encounter. This is obviously not a productive or healthy way to anticipate a good thing, but I have acted this way since I was 16 and now at 26 I want to stop trying to be so damn available. Aside from keeping myself busy with obligations I MUST attend to lest there be Serious Repercussions, what else can I do to persuade my mind that living my life in the intervals will allow me to have better relationships, not the other way around?
posted by Hermione Granger on Apr 21, 2014 - 15 answers

What does it mean to be "psychologically flooded"?

My girlfriend has a diagnosed anxiety order. Oftentimes in conversation she has trouble processing what is said and pretty much shuts down. After the conversation she tells me that she was flooded and doesn't remember what we discussed. I want to learn more about psychological flooding. Can you help me find some resources to learn more about it? I didn't have much luck with my keyword searches on Google. Specifically I want to learn if there are ways I can help her become flooded less often. Thanks!
posted by speedoavenger on Apr 15, 2014 - 16 answers

Is this just summer-fall-winter-spring-summer-fall-winter-spring love?

Struggling with my boyfriend's apparent lack of effort in our relationship, but I'm not sure if it's worth trying to work though, because he won't discuss if he have a future together. [more inside]
posted by hasna on Feb 12, 2014 - 39 answers

How To Talk About Sex

Occasionally, I bring up the subject of sex with my partner, and I always get nowhere. Sex has never been something that we've really talked about. We had those first few conversations when we met several years ago: disclosures of risks, general preferences, expectations for monogamy, etc. and from there we just let it develop naturally. We need to talk about it because our sex life isn't meeting my needs, and I've asked to talk about it, but I still don't know how to talk about it, and I'm afraid this is just going to become another in a string of failed attempts to talk about sex. [more inside]
posted by this *is* my happy face on Dec 19, 2013 - 28 answers

Compatibility without conversation

Can you build a successful romantic relationship without conversational "flow"? [more inside]
posted by chausette marionette on Sep 12, 2013 - 20 answers

What are things you say casually to curb bad behavior in relationships?

For example an acquaintance has mentioned a mistake I made that is starting to make me feel embarrassed. I wasn't embarrassed until she mentioned it jokingly a few times. Nonetheless I became annoyed and would like to say 'stop it' gently enough so that we can still get to know each other but want to nip this kind of comment in the bud or at least let her know I don't like excessive teasing or sarcasm aimed at me. [more inside]
posted by PeaPod on Sep 3, 2013 - 36 answers

How can I communicate with my boyfriend more effectively?

I don't know how to handle minor conflict with my boyfriend. Specifically, I don't know how to deal with myself when I do things wrong. I can't stop beating myself up in my head. [more inside]
posted by sockermom on Jul 29, 2013 - 33 answers

It's too late to try communication

I didn't communicate with my SO before hand, and now I'm self destructing. What are my options? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 16, 2013 - 14 answers

Did I just break up with myself?

I recently had a very confusing break-up conversation that I am having a lot of trouble decoding. [more inside]
posted by karminai on Jun 2, 2013 - 21 answers

Dealing with distance when I want constant contact and he doesn't

I've been in a relationship with a guy for 6 months. When one of us is traveling, I prefer to send lots of text messages and emails throughout the day, and I want to get messages back. He dislikes written communication and would prefer to have rare, brief phone calls and just wait until we see each other in-person again. What can I do, which won't result in frustration for one of us? [more inside]
posted by cheesecake on May 28, 2013 - 28 answers

Help me tell my BFF to shut up, in the nicest of ways.

My best friend is dating a new guy and is currently in the "floating in the clouds" stage. He's all that she talks about, texts me about, emails me about, mentions, quotes, you name it. I'm happy for her, but I am quickly reaching "who cares" stage. She does this with everyone she dates, but this guy might become permanent, so I'm not brushing it off as "just wait until this passes". How can I politely tell her that we need to have conversations about OTHER THINGS? She can be very sensitive, and I don't want her to feel that I am not interested in the relationship or not happy for her. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by ElectricGoat on Apr 28, 2013 - 26 answers

I want to help and I really mean it!

Help me write a note to my neighbor, offering help if needed... [more inside]
posted by HopperFan on Apr 2, 2013 - 18 answers

Help me respond constructively to my brother!

My older brother (in his 50s) posted something on FB regarding the Steubenville rape case, which was: [more inside]
posted by HopperFan on Mar 17, 2013 - 52 answers

Dating when you already have feelings you never intend to act on?

I have feelings for another woman that I have no intention of ever acting on, and my current relationship seems doomed because of it. Help. [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Mar 8, 2013 - 78 answers

How do you talk to someone who interprets everything as an attack?

Help me Metafilter! I need cognitive and/or behavioral hacks to better deal with someone whose anxiety/self-esteem issues tend to make every conversation into a battle. [more inside]
posted by celtalitha on Feb 28, 2013 - 30 answers

Here come those tears.

I have to have a relationship talk tonight with a new person in my life. It's going to be stressful but I think it's going to be okay. How do I not cry? I have a tendency to get choked up and cry during certain types of discussions where I feel vulnerable. (It even happens at work, but that's another AskMe.) What do I do? Should I just issue a warning before we talk?
posted by summer sock on Feb 22, 2013 - 10 answers

Does talking with your friend/partner trained as a therapist suck?

My partner is a new psychotherapist and I think his training is getting in the way of how we communicate. Is there some way to make it clear that I'd like him to knock it off, or Is there some other way I ought to be thinking about this? [more inside]
posted by It's a Parasox on Feb 9, 2013 - 25 answers

Communication in the early days of dating

What are your tips to keeping the lines of communication open in the first few weeks of dating someone new? [more inside]
posted by toerinishuman on Feb 3, 2013 - 6 answers

How do you spot Dating Warning Phrases?

Can you help me to better distinguish cheery lovebird songs vs. the squawks of ailing canaries in my dating coal mine? [more inside]
posted by argonauta on Jan 30, 2013 - 89 answers

What do good relationships look like when they're bad?

I am in a really amazing relationship after a long, bad one. It is mutually supportive, caring, engaging, and honest—loving, in the best, most positive way. We never fight. This confuses me, and I need some reality-checking and standards for how normal good relationships are supposed to work. [more inside]
posted by sockpuppet yo on Jan 22, 2013 - 23 answers

How much contact is appropriate after a break-up?

I broke up with my then-fiancée in September 2012. What is the appropriate amount of contact after a break-up? I've struggled with finding a good balance. Give me some advice for the next go-round. [more inside]
posted by mellosphere on Jan 8, 2013 - 32 answers

How can I encourage more open communication with people?

Help with encouraging communication early in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by randomnity on Jan 2, 2013 - 6 answers

I AM NOT YOUR OWL

I am tired of being the owl for my friends and family. How do I get them to talk to *each other* instead of *me*? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Dec 25, 2012 - 11 answers

How can I turn him down without crushing him?

How can I avoid leading a guy on when he won't come out and state his attraction? [more inside]
posted by chocolatemilkshakes on Dec 14, 2012 - 28 answers

How to communicate about our feelings?

How much should we be talking about our feelings for each other? I love him, and I think he loves me... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 12, 2012 - 9 answers

Do you have any ideas to help me communicate better and curb my frustrations?

Help me, I get frustrated and it's not helpful. I want to find a better way to act to relationship communication frustrations. Snowflakes inside [more inside]
posted by couchdive on Dec 12, 2012 - 13 answers

Hitting the like button just doesn't cut it.

Hit me with your best asynchronous communication tips, games, tools & tricks. [more inside]
posted by deludingmyself on Nov 14, 2012 - 7 answers

I cry every week and he doesn't understand why

I'm in a long-distance cross-cultural relationship with the love of my life. Unfortunately we're having communication issues that are hurting us both. Please help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 5, 2012 - 40 answers

Is it the depression talking, or am I making excuses for my boyfriend?

Help me understand what’s going on in my relationship and to set appropriate boundaries. My boyfriend’s possibly depressed behavior is triggering my feelings of abandonment/insecurity and I want to know how to support him through this without getting taken advantage of. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2012 - 10 answers

uh... I... uh.... I.... Ilikeyoutoo.

I'm a terrible communicator in relationships. If we're talking about feelings, I freeze up and can't say the simplest of things. How can I get past this? [more inside]
posted by sockypuppeteer on Oct 30, 2012 - 11 answers

Why doesn't my boyfriend respond to my jokes and stories?

Sometimes I can't tell if my boyfriend likes me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 29, 2012 - 48 answers

Diplomatic and tactful

In what ways are you diplomatic and tactful in your relationship? What areas do you tread lightly and how do you do that? How do you use persuasion in your relationship to get what you want? [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Aug 1, 2012 - 27 answers

All this over a ham sandwich?

Please help me figure out what I should have done differently in this argument with my boyfriend. It gets long, sorry. [more inside]
posted by guessthis on Jul 18, 2012 - 74 answers

What's between letting things go and leaving over them?

Needs and Boundaries: What is the space between "I suppose I can let this go" and "this is an utter dealbreaker; do this thing or I'll have to end this relationship" - and what do you do about negotiating things in that space? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2012 - 27 answers

How do I communicate better with my dad?

I need some advice on how to communicate better with my dad and hopefully improve our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2012 - 11 answers

The recovering addict and the… sports addict? What is this?

The recovering addict and the… sports addict? Is this level of interest in sports normal? How can I not take the backseat to sports, while remaining considerate of his feelings as he deals with me dealing with multiple health issues? [more inside]
posted by overyourhead on Mar 15, 2012 - 26 answers

How can I move forward without holding him back?

How do I talk to my fiance about the imbalances in our relationship? [more inside]
posted by guessthis on Mar 15, 2012 - 74 answers

catching up with an ex, disappointing results

I recently reestablished contact with an ex-girlfriend that I haven't spoken to for many years. a few polite emails went back and forth, but i was hoping for so much more... [more inside]
posted by camdan on Jan 21, 2012 - 32 answers

How to communicate in a new relationship

New relationship - how and when do I bring up the "serious" relationship conversations? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 12, 2012 - 16 answers

Connect the dots (or, people..)

How do you connect with people? How do you reach out to someone you're interested in getting to know better to let them know you're interested in them as a person (with or without romantic potential). I suffer from a bit of social anxiety and shyness so I tend to feel extremely awkward in approaching opportunities for one-on-one interaction. [more inside]
posted by myShanon on Jan 9, 2012 - 19 answers

Should I tell him I know he is a liar, or is that too drama queen of me?

In July, I entered my only FWB relationship. I started catching feelings, and he decided he couldn't reciprocate. He came back into my life on New Year's Eve wanting more. HOWEVER, I have found out some things that have inspired my current run for the hills (irrelevant as it may be, the nitty-gritty is inside). How do I tell him that I know the truth? Or, should I just go cold turkey on communication? [more inside]
posted by acertainseason on Jan 4, 2012 - 26 answers

So, um, do you like....stuff?

What are some questions I can ask new dating partners to get to know them beyond a superficial level? [more inside]
posted by oceanview on Oct 25, 2011 - 24 answers

ugh.

Follow up to this question: What are productive ways to be mad or frustrated with an SO? I want to honor my feelings and work through them properly, but I also really want to keep moving forward with my guy, too. [more inside]
posted by iLoveTheRain on Oct 4, 2011 - 5 answers

I'm sorry I suck at listening to you. Let me try again.

I suck at having productive conversations about "heavy" stuff with my significant others, and as such, my current-SO and I are on a break because neither of us know how to work with each other when we're having problems. I want to be better. How? [more inside]
posted by iLoveTheRain on Sep 25, 2011 - 12 answers

Not tonight, I'm washing my hair.

My boyfriend and I want different things from our social lives. How can we make it work? [more inside]
posted by guessthis on Sep 9, 2011 - 20 answers

Depends on what your definition of "is" is.

How can I best cope with this relationship impasse? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 28, 2011 - 54 answers

Don't you forget about me... Oops.

I forgot to tell my boyfriend that I am going out of the country for vacation. I leave in a week. How can I tell him without hurting his feelings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2011 - 25 answers

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