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33 posts tagged with comingout.
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Coming Out When You Don't Know the Category You Belong To

Over the past few months I've been coming to terms with the fact that I am about 80% straight and 20% gay, and this NCOD I am thinking of making a video and posting it to Facebook to let my very close friends know. On the one hand this seems like a really rewarding prospect, because I would like to start being more authentic with other people and this is a part of my identity that I want people to know about. It's the specifics I'm not sure how to handle. [more inside]
posted by Hermione Granger on Sep 29, 2014 - 71 answers

What is it like to "come out" about having experienced mental illness?

I would like to hear stories from people who have "come out" about their lived experience of mental illness. What is it like to simply say, offhand, "Oh, yeah, I had depression" in the same way one might say, "Oh, yeah, I'm queer" - and have that be relatively common knowledge about you, rather than a private matter to be shared only with your closest confidants? How did you make the decision to be open and honest about your experience, and what were the benefits/pitfalls of doing so? Did you worry about professional ramifications down the line? How did it affect your sense of self? Do you ever wish you could un-disclose and stop being the "token crazy person"? I am particularly interested in hearing from people who have "come out" about their experience in order to assist others - for example, using your lived experience in a professional context to work in mental health promotion or peer support work.
posted by embrangled on Aug 14, 2014 - 32 answers

How do I realistically satisfy my bicuriousity?

I am a cis-female in my late 20s, and I've considered myself straight for most of my life. Around my mid 20s I started to realize that I had a secret desire for a woman to come on to me as a sexy fantasy, but still aligning myself as straight. However this desire slowly grew and I started to have intense dreams of having sex with women and now I really want to make this happen in reality. I have no idea how to approach this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2014 - 20 answers

Coming out & Overseas Relationships

I finally came out to myself, my therapist and my mom. And I am in a deep overseas relationship with a guy that I met online from South America. Where do I go from here? Lots of details inside. [more inside]
posted by mrdexterous on Feb 18, 2013 - 11 answers

If you were gay / That'd be okay / I mean 'cause hey, / I'd like you anyway... but what if I'm not?

So apparently my close friends and relatives have decided that I, an early-twenties female, am Really Damn Gay. I myself am not so sure, and seek your advice on dealing with their well-intentioned but perhaps slightly misplaced support. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2012 - 24 answers

Hello from the bottom of a pit.

I feel like I'm at the bottom of a deep pit, and it will take a long series of successful maneuvers to get out of the pit. Other people's lives don't seem to be pit-shaped. Help me make this pit go away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 9, 2012 - 22 answers

First-timer seeks personal and career advice!

21-year-old college junior seeks career and coming out advice! Lots of details inside... [more inside]
posted by DRoll on Nov 23, 2012 - 7 answers

Coming Out

I'm completely in the closet, but would like to know how to come out as a gay person of colour? I could use any sort of advice whether that's in the form of academic articles, anecdotes, words of wisdom, etc.. Also, what happens after coming out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2012 - 15 answers

Coming out to traditional Chinese dad?

Coming out dilemma: how do you tell your traditional Chinese dad (ESL) that you're gay? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 18, 2012 - 10 answers

Bi MeFi Man concerned about coming out to immediate family

How do I tell my family I'm bisexual? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 4, 2012 - 28 answers

How do I come out about my roller-coaster gender?

I was a man. Then a woman. Now a man again. So, um, how do I tell potential romantic or sexual partners this without scaring them away? [more inside]
posted by omicron on Feb 5, 2012 - 35 answers

Coming-out tips for an older gentleman

I have been asked by an older gentleman to help him come out of the closet in San Francisco, and was wondering what resources might be available. [more inside]
posted by steinsaltz on Jan 26, 2012 - 11 answers

Support, not commitment, or something

I think my dotted-line boss is going to come out to me as a transgendered person. The idea of introducing gender and sexuality into professional relationships is anathema to me. I will not deny her any support. I am genderqueer but don't trouble to make it obvious at work: work is a place I go to be engaged and interested, not a place for emotional entanglements. So what do I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 9, 2011 - 24 answers

I came out to my parents. It isn't going well.

I recently came out to my parents. How can I not let their opinions about my sexuality lower my self esteem and mess with my sex-drive? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Jun 16, 2011 - 31 answers

Things that are more interesting than studying for the bar include:

I am interested in the problem of outing and coming out as it relates to mental illness. Can you point me to any good resources (books, articles, blog posts, anything) on this subject?
posted by prefpara on May 26, 2011 - 10 answers

How do I come out of the closet...a little?

Sticking a toe out of the closet: help me come out with the least amount of trauma. Who should I confide in first? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 17, 2011 - 27 answers

Merry Christmas, sorry I'm gay!

How can I come out to my extended family without it being a holiday "surprise" or confessional atmosphere? [more inside]
posted by nakedmolerats on Nov 20, 2010 - 22 answers

LGBT scene in the Twin Cities for a woman in her 30s

Woman in early 30s coming out as a lesbian for the first time in the Twin Cities. What's the city LGBT scene like? (Asking for a friend.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2010 - 5 answers

Sister in the closet: how to be good to someone coming out.

How to be a good friend to someone who may be coming out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 25, 2010 - 23 answers

Lucy Van Pelt, where are you when I need you?

So, I need advice with my life. Just as I'm starting to get comfortable with the idea of going to see a psychiatrist, it looks like I may be able to get a new job that is awesome on all fronts except no benefits. Inside: My problems. Are they worth seeing a psychiatrist for or will they pass? Is there some other non-therapy way to get through this stuff? [more inside]
posted by The Captain and Ten Eels on Sep 1, 2010 - 11 answers

Queer Homelessness

Resources for a now-homeless-after-coming-out lesbian living in Fayette County, Ohio? [more inside]
posted by greekphilosophy on Jun 3, 2010 - 15 answers

Honey, I think I'm a Kinsey 5.

I'm less bisexual than I thought I was. And now I'm engaged to be married to a wonderful guy who loves me and depends on me, and realizing that I cannot sustain attraction to him for more than fleeting moments every few months. How do I minimize the damage, here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2010 - 48 answers

My husband is transgendered. How do I tell my parents?

My husband will probably be starting hormones and this may eventually lead to gender reassignment surgery. I fully support him, however it goes. There is a lot of advice out there for how transgendered people should tell their partners or parents, but very little for how supportive partners should tell their families. Any advice? (longer story inside) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 13, 2009 - 8 answers

Coming out to only one parent

Tell me your experiences of coming out as gay to just one of your two living parents alone. I'm not interested in opinions from everyone, just opinions and accounts of people who have been through this either first or second hand. If you later came out to your other parent too, I'd love to hear about it too. [more inside]
posted by Elfasi on Apr 9, 2009 - 11 answers

Where should I look for a boyfriend.

I've recently come out of denial/uncertainty and realize I'm gay, I live in Adelaide, I don't really dig the club scene that much, but I want to meet other gay men. How do I find them? [more inside]
posted by Basalisk on May 15, 2008 - 11 answers

Keeping secrets is keeping me up nights.

How do you make everything good again after someone finds out you've kept a secret from them? Thing is, it's not your own secret you are keeping. [more inside]
posted by Jazz Hands on Dec 25, 2007 - 30 answers

A sad coming-out story

I'm dealing with the fallout from coming out to my deeply religious immediate family. For years, I had prepared for their tears, their anger, their remonstrances, their appeals to the Bible, and all of those have come. What I hadn't prepared for was how disappointed I would be, and how fundamental and lonely that disappointment would be. Help? [more inside]
posted by grrarrgh00 on Oct 16, 2007 - 38 answers

Should I just crawl into bed with him?

I've lived with my best friend and another good friend for 3 years. I've known them for 7--since we were freshmen in college. I've come to the conclusion that I'm bisexual, and that I have a bit of a crush on my best friend. I'm having trouble telling him that I'm not straight. I've read everyone's advice not to tell him I'm crushing on him, because there is a good chance that would be messy. What is a good way to tell him that I'm bi though? [more inside]
posted by rocket_johnny on Oct 16, 2007 - 32 answers

Is it time to come out?

Next week apparently marks National Coming Out Week. Is now the time I've looked forward to for so long? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 7, 2007 - 36 answers

Should I tell my girlfriend I've had gay sex before?

Should I tell my long-term girlfriend (I'm male) that I have had sex with men in the past? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2007 - 65 answers

Um, coming out... again.

For the last 5 years (age 18-23), I've identified myself as a gay man. Came out to my friends and family and was living okay. Now, for the last year, I've basically come to realize I'm not gay. I've lost all attraction to men and I kinda fell for a woman. I haven't talked to anyone about it (including "her"), and am now realizing I need to come out (er, again). Any ideas how to handle it with my friends, family, and "her"? I'd obviously like to minimize the humiliation, anger, hurt, etc.
posted by anonymous on Sep 6, 2006 - 27 answers

Go home or come out?

Gay athlete needs life advice--should I keep training at the elite level or move on and get a "real life"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 25, 2006 - 18 answers

how to casually come out as poly?

What are some casual ways to come out as polyamorous or as being in an open relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2006 - 15 answers

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