Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with comebacks

Weird Geeks 'r Us

diode — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 10:57:42 -0800

I've been tagged with labels like 'weird' or 'geek' since high school. This is usually coming from someone who has no positive frame of reference for something I've said or done. Hey, I'm unusual, no doubt, but I just get tired of hearing this word. What's a good comeback that doesn't leave scorch marks? Let's say I've posted something on a blog or social networking site that's creative, unusual and/or funny. A subset of my friends don't know what to make of this information, so the default response is, 'you're weird.' I've been running into this forever. I can't help it if they can't process the information. These are my friends though and I don't want to download on them with a big flame-out about their lack of imagination.

From my perspective, about 98% of the populace is mentally beggared by too much TV with a vocabulary to match. That's where 'weird' comes from, an inability to find a descriptive term that is suitable other than the pejorative use of 'weird'. I understand that people's default response sometimes is 'that's weird.' It's just gets kind of old and it would be nice to have some comeback that informs and teaches, without lecturing, hectoring or leaving burn marks on the receiver.

I suppose I could own the term and make it something positive for myself. I'm curious if anyone has a way to bounce this interaction back at the sender. 'You're a geek' falls into this category too.

I suppose creative people in every field of endeavor run into this response and have for millenia. I suppose one attitude is to ignore it or acknowledge that any response is better than no response.

Errr ... uh ... ahhh ... yo momma!

WCityMike — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:19:32 -0800

Mefites, help me be clever yet immature on the playground of our lives. I need to know how to more effectively tell someone he's a boogerhead. Scenario: stranger does something annoying and I choose to let it go and move on, or comment. 95% of the time, I let it go. 5% of the time, I comment, and perhaps 3% of the time, it escalates to a brief exchange of words.

At the moment, I'm morbidly obese. I've lost almost 20 pounds from my highest weight. It obviously ain't gonna happen overnight, but in the meantime, it's just what I'm wearing, not me (without going into a whole Stuart Smalley routine) and it doesn't bug me that much.

But in the meantime, it's the first thing the other person reaches for. I'm actually not insulted anymore; it might've bothered me once, but nowadays I actually kind of chuckle at how unoriginal it is to grab something so obvious. [Guy's thoughts: Errrr ... he's fat! So ... "Shut up, fatass!"] But what does bug me is that, because I'm not good at the whole "yo momma!" come-up-with-insult-quickly thing, I end up kind of going at the moment "urrrrrr ... ".

So I'm looking for some clever comebacks to the "debate opponent" hauling out the "fatass" or "fattie" remark. (The comeback doesn't necessarily have to involve fat, though — just anything that's fairly universal, and good. The kind that'd have a crowd going "Oooooooooooooooooo!")

At the moment, if I have the presence of mind, I usually unbotheredly chuckle and say, "Verrrrrrrrrrrrry creative."

It lacks something. The "yo momma" vibe, I suppose. And it does have that sort of "I'm insulted but laughing it off" vibe. Given that I'm not insulted but just trying to make fun of the unoriginality, that's not the desired vibe to project.

So ... how can I more effectively do the "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly"¹ thing?

Two minor preferences for responses.

First, it would be good if the comeback can be fairly universal, and doesn't need to be tailored to something specific about the person. That way there's not a pause that would be needed for the "examination of opponent - thought - integration of response into insult template" process.

Second, yes, name-calling is kiddie playground stuff. But you can't tell me that you've never found yourself wanting a handy comeback in a situation akin to this. So doing a whole "childish" riff or the whole "it's better if you avoid disputes like this by doing procedure x" — *nod* understood, and I agree with you. But this is for rare, not constant usage: I don't plan to use these except once in a blue moon, but I'd like it handy in order to more adroitly slap 'em down when they go for the obvious.

¹Annoying, evil, chipmunk-y but nonetheless funny song.

Clever Comebacks to Rude Baby Weight Observations?

roundrock — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 07:32:52 -0800

My sister is seven months pregnant and has gained a healthy amount of baby weight (maybe slightly more than average - 30 to 40 pounds) ... problem is, a number of people - particularly coworkers - have come up to her and either asked if she's having twins or commented that she "looks a lot further along" than she is. I'm amazed by this rudeness, and it's really making my sister feel negative and self-conscious about her weight gain. I'd like to arm her with a good response or two to deflect the nosy/impolite questions and observations. Your very best comebacks (both snarky and polite but effective) are much appreciated!

So, do you go to quilting bees often?

orange swan — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 18:59:34 -0800

A friend of mine, CK, is a conservative Mennonite. CK wears her hair in a bun with a little white bonnet pinned over it, and nearly always wears skirts and dresses of a modest cut, though otherwise her clothes are the kind every woman wears. She is a senior level civil servant for the Ontario government, and as a Mennonite woman is a rare sight in Toronto's Queen's Park, people find her a curiosity. CK often hears certain dumb questions and comments. I told her the hive mind would just love to come up with some great comebacks she could use to break up the monotony. She doesn't doubt it and is looking forward to seeing what you come up with. The "Gee, I've never met a Mennonite before!" questions usually are:

1) "Are you a nurse?" (She then wonders when they last saw a nurse with a cap.)

2) "Can you only marry a Mennonite?" (Of course, she's never quite sure if this is a loser pick up line.)

3) "Are you having a large family?" or "Do you have a lot of kids?" (She gripes that they might as well ask how many times a week she has sex.)

4) So, you must make great pie. And if she replies “No, I don’t really have time,” the questioning often continues along the lines of “Do you pickle and can?” and she then thinks, hullo, if I just said I don’t have a lot of time to cook, when did you think I’d find the time to pickle and can?

5) "I thought Mennonites never left the colony/commune?"

Have at, smartasses of MeFite!