Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with college

Has this question plagued philosophers for centuries?

lhude sing cuccu — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:50:59 -0800

UndergraduateFilter: Tell me all I need to know, and more! I know I've been asking a lot of "life questions" lately, but this one is relevant (I love how I will be able to map out all my rites of passage and life monuments later on).

So, I am going to a community college, I have about eight more classes to take, and I am trying for graduation next spring. Applications are going to start being due soon, so I'm thinking about where I want to go and how. And I have three weeks of vacation to think about all this, hence the forthcoming complexities (well, maybe not, we'll see).

I've been looking at William & Mary, Brown, Dartmouth, UPenn, Amherst, and Wellesley. The only ones out of this list which might actually happen are William & Mary and Brown. I'm planning on majoring in philosophy (Plan B: French), and since you can't do anything with a BA in Philosophy, I'm planning ahead. William & Mary pretty much has to accept me if I meet their "guaranteed admissions" requirements. Good thing I'm going to a Virginia community college. So...

1. Any college-specific things you could tell me? I know Brown won't accept writing samples from transfers, which is horrible! I have nothing else to set me apart...the best GPA I can get on my AS degree will be a 3.75, and that's if I get straight A's from now on (got all A's I think for this semester, it was dual-enrollment in high school that ruined my life). Do they want someone who has it all together or would I sound too arrogant to them if I tried? And...has anyone actually experienced the philosophy departments of these schools? Do they have good graduate-school placement records?

2. Do I HAVE to include ALL the colleges I've been to? I went to a really terrible college for one year of which I failed out due to sickness and pure hatred of the school and its methods....do they really need to see my F's there when I'm definitely not even going to try to keep those credits in my name?

3. OK, this is kind of a funny one to me. Is it weird for an undergraduate to mention faculty research? I did look at all Brown's philosophy faculty (and W&M's...and UPenn....blah blah), but should I tell them this? I know and they know I'm not going to be working with these people directly, but maybe it would equal commitment or something. Should I tell them I've developed interests in certain areas of philosophy or should I allude that I am totally open to all facets of everything (I wrote about "motive" and "intention" in utilitarianism, you know...an elementary subject, for sure—will that kind of thing backfire? I'm totally into all the philosophical things I wrote in my "Why This Subject?" essay...but I bet I sound a little pompous?) And...should I do this right after telling them I've only taken one semester and I really liked the teacher and the book....therefore possibly clouding my good judgment of philosophy to begin with?? I mean, how else could I show I think I could fit in with the department?

4. I got a 1940/2400 on the SAT. Should I retake it, or do transfers have different standards? (And ew, does this mean I'm not going to do so well on the GREs either, later on?)

I know I can get good recommendations...and I COULD have sent a good writing sample! But anyway, now that I know all Brown will have from me is my numbers, I don't feel so good about it. I don't know how to explain my high school performance either (3.1 overall, with a lovely 9th grade GPA of 1.3), so I just have the old "There's no use in explaining, just see by my current grades that I'm not rebellious anymore". The only thing I can really do is somehow set myself apart with the Transfer "Why Are You Changing Colleges" essay and the supplement essays "Why Brown? Why This Subject?"

.......

OK, so if you want to stop there, I won't feel bad. The next section is more vague, and all I really need to know right now is advice on undergraduate applications.

......

1. Brown has a 5-year BA/MA program, which I like. I'm thinking about dollars here, so I ask: which would be the best way to go, considering not just dollars, but what would be best in the long run. Should I look for BA/MA programs (if others even exist!), terminal MA programs, or MA/PhD programs? I know I'm not going to be ready for a PhD right out of college.

2. The Philosophical Gourmet, admittedly, is my #1 source for starting out the search for BA, MA, and (if I'm not sick of philosophy by the end) PhD programs. I know that Name counts for a lot, at least in philosophy, and if I do decide to stick with it, I want my schooling to count! Old Leiter also has a lot to say about how I should think about the school's graduate programs when looking at the undergraduate program..."Don't go for undergrad at a Top 25 school, because the graduate students will get all the attention..." etc. It gets to be a little much. Advice about the Prestige Factor?

3. Although, if I went for a terminal MA, I could teach at a community college and see if I hated it, but do they look down on MA students who take a break then try to get a PhD? That question has been swimming around in my mind, not mandatory.

......

That's it, you guys!
Sorry about the superfluous graduate questions, even if I don't go, it's all so interesting and foreign to me. What I really want is undergraduate advice though. And remember, I have way too much time on my hands so not only can I think about issues that won't affect me for years....I like to do it!

PS As of now, I find graduate school highly desirable. The way I know this is...everyone I know is enjoying their winter vacation and complains about their research papers, but I was pretty maternal about my paper...and I can't wait to get back to school, already. I also don't think we do enough important work (like research...we do a lot of short-term assignments, I actually don't like those). And that's my reason.

Your fraternity has a chef? Are you kidding me?

Cool Papa Bell — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 10:31:17 -0800

Did your fraternity / sorority have a full-time chef? Is this as common as my wife thinks? Read on... http://fraternitykitchen.net/ is the blog of a University of Washington fraternity chef.

I was gobsmacked. The frat house employs a full-time chef? And while we're not talking about a cheap diploma mill, neither are we talking about the Ivy League.

Neither my wife, who attended a Big 10 school, nor myself, who attended a piss-ant California state college, were in the Greek system. But my wife was completely unsurprised when she learned this. Of course they would have one, she said. It makes a lot of sense. Would you want a bunch of 20-year-old guys in charge of your kitchen? Can you imagine what you would find growing in that fridge?

* Is this common?
* Do you have first-hand experience?
* Is this paid-for by ongoing fraternity/sorority dues? Or is this the kind of luxury that gets handled by donations from wealthy alumni?
* How in the hell would this kind of thing get started? I just can't imagine a bunch of average frat boys sitting around thinking, "We really need to focus on our studies, so we should take some of the beer money and get a chef, so we don't have to worry about this."

How can my business casual dress be more unremarkable?

d. z. wang — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 00:36:29 -0800

Apparently, I'm "the guy who's always in business casual", to the point where people joke about the shirtsleeve tats I must be hiding and my room-mate was surprised to discover I actually owned T-shirts. What kind of outfits can comply with business casual but then, by taking off a shirt or untucking it, become more appropriate for a college student? My everday dress is a button-down shirt in a drab solid color or with stripes, black or grey trousers, dull black leather shoes, belt, and no tie. How can I make that less noticeable without changing into new clothes? The scenario I'd like to happen is:

Adult: "Wang? He looked fine. A shirt and trousers, I think. Didn't really notice."

[ I step into a bathroom for a few minutes, possibly with a different shirt but nothing as bulky as a second pair of shoes ]

College kid: "Wang? He looked fine. A shirt and trousers, I think. Didn't really notice."

Someone once suggested that I embrace my business casual but make it "ironic." I don't understand how that would make me less memorable, but if someone would like to explain that with reference to actual articles of clothing I'd be willing to listen.

Oh, and I will not wear jeans, or expose my forearms.

College Quandary!!

Griffinlb — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:01:41 -0800

Help a young boy make the right decision! Any and all advice for a soon-to-be-undergrad trying to secure his future! So, this is a little specific, but here's the breaks. Specific suggestions/advice are ideal, but any general comments are also greatly appreciated.

I just got accepted to Reed (in Portland) on Early Decision. I also applied to SVA (an art school in NYC) as a transfer student for Spring '09, and was recently accepted.

I love Reed and want to go there more than anywhere else, but finances are a big issue, (I would have started school at another school over a year ago had my financial aid package not shrunk dramatically). If I don't get the financial aid that I need, I was planning on attending SVA, which is (just barely) affordable.

So, here's the predicament: Accepted to Reed but waiting on financial aid package (which is a make-it-or-break-it issue). Probably wont get this info until friday. In the mean time I have to confirm with SVA whether I will be attending by tomorrow at latest in order to receive the full-housing-scholarship I was awarded. SVA can't extend this deadline, and Reed can't send my financial aid info earlier via email or anything else due to 'federal privacy legislation' or something or other.

I've been left up the creek before and I really really don't want to make a faulty decision here. If Reed is unaffordable, and I've nixed my scholarship (and potentially my admission status) with SVA by waiting too long, then I'm screwed.

So, what can I do? If you wise metafilter gurus have an answer, lay it on me. Otherwise, wild suggestions, off-topic advice, or just about anything vaguely related is welcome.

Thanks folks!

(This is all rather complicated, so if there's any important info that I left out, let me know)

What do I do if my professor plagiarizes my idea?

Anonymous — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:11:25 -0800

I suspect one of my undergraduate professors is writing an article based on an idea I proposed to him last spring that he intends to submit for publication in a literary journal. What should I do? The only proof I have is an email I sent to the professor that details my research into an overlooked (or at least unwritten about) aspect of a specific text and my undercooked insights as to the significance of my findings. I don't have any written responses from him and we only communicated about the idea verbally, in his office. During these conversations, he admitted to me that he had never considered my reading of the text and had never read an article mentioning my findings. Subsequently, he produced some findings of his own, but on their own they were very unremarkable because they mostly augmented what I had already discovered. He presented them during lecture almost parenthetically, with a wink and a sidelong glance in my direction, but he did not discuss my findings or mention I was the catalyst for his insights.

This was not an assignment for class; I never turned anything in that he graded. He was determined to get me to write something with him and submit it to a journal, but I refused because literary studies was my secondary field of study—I have since gone on to graduate school to study in an unrelated field—and I have little desire to see my name in print (if I did, it would be on my own terms, with my coattails free of parasites). Does my reluctance to pursue this give him license to write an article presenting my research as his own? What recourse do I have if I find my ideas in print, under his name, given my limited amount of proof? Would the email I sent him be enough to get a journal to force him to share his byline with me or to print an addendum to the article?

Help me choose a technical or trade college for IT administration.

loquacious — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:23:24 -0800

Help me research technical schools/colleges for IT, CS and systems administration. I'm looking for a technical school/college along the lines of ITT or similar schools that are affordable and offer financial aid application assistance.

I want to learn and brush up on computer/IT administration with a focus on systems/server administration. Specifically Windows Server 2008, Macintosh OS X as well as a side course in Vista and Windows 7.

I'm interested both AA and BA programs.

Please feel free to also name programs to avoid like the plague.

(For the record, I have about a decade of real world IT work and I am returning to school as an independent adult.)

What should I do this summer?

Paulefinch — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:31:16 -0800

What are some life-changing things I, as an art student, can spend my summer doing? Here's a little background before I get to my real question.

I'm a 19 year old, gay male student double majoring in Art Education and Studio Art at the University of Central Florida. I'm finishing my sophomore year this semester. After growing increasingly frustrated with the college grind, I want to make some changes! I don't like the fact that I have to have a degree to do what I want to do. What do I want to do? I want to design avant-garde clothing and performances. (e.g. Lady Gaga, Of Montreal, and the Cremaster Cycle by Matthew Barney) Instead of dropping out of school, which I know isn't a very good idea, I just want to develop the parts of my life not directly related to school. I'm considering dropping the Art Education major, because while I want love to teach, I don't think my school's College of Education is right for me. Next semester I'm taking a minimum number of classes (12 credit hours) instead of my typical 15-17, so I'll have more time to create work that my current schedule doesn't allow.

What should I do this summer? I really want to do something that will provide me with amazing experience. I would love to live abroad, study abroad (I have languages bases in French and German.), get an internship, visit museums, or get an apprenticeship. Basically I want to do something with my summer that will change the direction of my life for the better.

Is there something I haven't even thought of? I'm supremely interested in everything related to design, art, and culture, so I'm open to almost anything!

Then, we actually have to /go/ to college.

R a c h e l — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 22:51:27 -0800

Pressure on high schoolers about getting into college: how to deal? I'm asking on behalf of a friend, who told me most of this in confidence, so I have changed a few details but kept the gist of it.

We are both juniors in high school, but our parents have radically different views toward college. Background: my parents: Northeastern(mom), Stanford/MIT. Her parents: Yale, Berkely. While my dad (stanford) was super-genuis and got in everywhere he applied (including several ivies), he's encouraging me not to stress to much about school reputations, make sure to seek out lesser-known schools, and just find a really good fit. A philosophy which I agree with 100%. For this reason, I've done a bit of SAT studying, but mostly I just try my reasonable best in school and make time for really meaningful extracurriculars and such.

Her parents (specifically her mom), on the other hand, are putting an intense amount of pressure on her. Every single day this summer, she had to put in a minimum of two hours (that ends up being so much) on SAT prep. Her grades are probably in the 3.8ish range, lower than most at her (and my former) hyper-competitive school (it is a public school, but attracts a highly motivated group of students). The reasoning of "because it's junior year [so this is the most important year for college apps]" is used to justify leaving her at home during a 2-week trip to Italy for her mom, dad, and younger sister, her not being allowed to pursue any extracurriculars rather than the 'right' ones, etc.

She's had an increasing number of fights with her mother, mostly due to this pressure. In addition to using various four-letter words during these fights, her mother says things like "you'll only be able to go to community college" and similar things, and treats them as if they were the end of the world.

These fights are so frequent that she doesn't want to bring it up in the rare good (or at least better) moments they share. I think they impact my friend pretty harshly. She comes out saying "she's probably right" and those sorts of things, but I think there's also a deeper impact with this sole emphasis on the 'right' school and the traditional take.

I'm not sure how to help her. I tried to suggest therapy, for her or the two of them. Her mom is, apparently, extremely averse to therapy, and quite literally threatened divorce when her dad suggested family therapy a few years back. My friend already tried (and hated) the school person (what I've heard from everyone else about this lines up with that). She's not willing to pay for a sliding-scale therapist or anything of the sort.

Re-reading what I wrote, her mom comes across as a much different person than she is. She's a really interesting, well-traveled (especially interesting places like remote Tibet, where the entire family journeyed to a few years ago), smart woman in a very stressful, high-powered, well-paid lawyer career. When I speak to her, she's nice but not saccharine, and a really great person.

I don't know how to help her. Besides talking to her, and telling her stories (like my aunt, who got terrible grades in high school, dropped out of college, didn't do much for a few years, then started as a vet office secretary and worked her way up into being a rather famous veterinarian) of how things don't depend on this one thing, I can't help. I would love her to be able to spend a semester or year abroad during the heavy college season, just to give her some space from her parents while she handles the crunch time on her own, which I have no doubt she could do just fine, but her parents would never agree to that.

Her dad jsut kind of backs up her mother. My personal suspicion is that he disagrees with a lot of it, but doesn't dare do so publicly. From what I can see of his career, (went to Berkely, started as a public defender, but eventually got his own high-paid private job), he was probably not the kind of guy to focus to heavily on the exact right school.

I suspect this is all misguided 'help' from her mom, wants her to have all the advantages that she did, etc., but it really doesn't.

Ugh, sorry for the long post. I have a lot to say. It's kind of a fault.

How do I not feel like a failure?

biochemist — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 10:38:15 -0800

I failed high school -and- college. How can I not feel like such a failure/cheer myself up? In High School, I had problems with procrastination and completing work, which I attributed to living in an abusive household. I also had social anxiety, so all of my friends were online. I had zero real-life friends.

I ended up not passing. I took a year off before college and did the therapy/self-help thing, in hopes that I would get good grades and make friends in college.

I got accepted into numerous colleges because of my high GED/SAT scores, and I got over my SA. I felt like my life would finally turn around. I chose a college in a small, scenic area just outside of a big city, in hopes that would satisfy my love of nature as well as my love of big cities.

I get to college and attend all the social events, try to get people to hang out and what-not, but my social skills are still too subpar and I end up with just one friend. To top it off, Small College is -way- too small for me and I end up going stir crazy, yet can't afford to travel to Big City most of the time.

Work-wise, I put all my effort in and still get poor grades. I realize it's because my school goes for "understanding" and not "blind memorization." I start doing well, but then when exams roll around I run out of time on all but one. I feel like crap, the procrastination and etc problems set in again, and I start failing... again.

I go to the doctor to see what's up, because I thought those issues would go away once I was away from home. I'm diagnosed with ADHD and put on meds, but too late. I'm not allowed to come back in the spring, and my final grades will all be failing, or if I can get a medical leave (not likely) I'll have no records at all.

Which means that I am officially two years behind where I should be, which sucks because the only reason I took a year off was to ensure this -wouldn't- happen. The only good thing, I guess, is that I can use the spring to get a technical degree I'd had my eye on for years.

I feel like a failure. An utterly lonely failure. I haven't felt this bad since my four-year relationship broke up some years ago. I hate that I put so much effort into making friends and still failed, and that the work thing was just de ja vu.

There's no way I'd get accepted into another college, so I'm stuck going stir-crazy for another year while I make up my grades or moving back home with all the stresses there and going to the local community college.

How do I not feel so hopeless, lost, depressed, terrible, etc? I feel like I'm nothing. I'm in the exact same position I was in high school - the girl who is alone all the time, with no friends, who gets terrible grades.

I know I should see a therapist, but I've been to numerous therapists over my lifetime and only one has helped, so I'm not too keen on that right now.

What to do in Denver for a year? Masters?

Anonymous — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 11:17:54 -0800

What can a mid-career person (me) do for a year in a new city (Denver) that will be productive in the 12 months or so spent there? Are there Master's programs that you can either complete in one year, or spend a year on-site and then finish while living elsewhere? Or is something else a better option? My girlfriend, a 3rd year law student, is doing a clerkship in Denver beginning in Fall 2010. I'd need to leave a great job to spend that year with her, after which we'd move on to a different place for long-term settlement. We'd only be in Denver for the year.

So, what do I do? I have a bachelors, so I am considering applying to a Masters program if I can find the right fit. I'd want the Masters to open up the possibility of teaching college courses at some point, or just to advance my prospects in one field or another. I'm in communications, but very flexible in what I could study or pursue.

Know of any degree programs that would work? Failing that, how do I not make this a wasted year professionally?

Can we ask a sick person to leave?

MorningPerson — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 11:48:59 -0800

Can we ask a sick person to leave? I work on a college campus. In our office, we have several video editing workstations that are available by appointment only. Today, a student who reserved one station came in, and is VERY ill. For the last two hours, he's been sniffling, sneezing explosively and coughing without covering his mouth.

In short, he is making me extremely uncomfortable and paranoid. I cannot afford to get sick right now.

Our workspace is not open to the public and the university has asked sick students to stay home and self isolate. Do you think it would be fair to ask him to leave and reschedule his appointment for when he is well?

Turning Points

RedEmma — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 08:58:59 -0800

What are some turning points in history? Mr RedEmma is developing an innovative freshman seminar idea, but we're getting stuck on listing moments in history where a small group of people or a meeting of leaders could have changed the course in history had their minds been turned another way.

Something like the summits on the Treaty of Versailles... Any others?

Information literacy in higher ed?

pahool — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:25:03 -0800

I'm looking for information on methods of introducing information literacy in higher education. I'm especially interested in methods used outside of information literacy courses. Curriculum or projects used in other courses or venues that encourages information literacy would be great. The Roxbury Community College in Massachusetts, for instance, does a library treasure hunt in the form of a mystery where clues lead the participants through the library to solve the mystery. But links to more traditional curriculum would be great as well.

How does an international student get financial aid?

kuju — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 12:53:48 -0800

I am an international student going to college in the US (one of the top ten schools, but not need blind to internationals). I have not applied for a scholarship when I was first admitted, because I knew that it decreased my chances and the exchange rate was relatively comparable. Then, things went downhill; my aunt who was helping my parents pay the tuition lost her job, the exchange rate went up from 1.21 to 1.85 and that is the story. I am looking for a form of scholarship, be it need-based or merit based. How? Some background info. I am a successful student, double majoring in Electrical Engineering and Biomedical Engineering and possibly minoring in Math (I am a sophomore). My GPA is 3.97/4.00, I am in a Math TA, and work in a neuroscience lab. I guess you could say that I am not a student that the university would like to lose.

There is also a catch: my parents and my aunt. They haven't really been that supportive through this process and it is stressing me to a point that I go to sleep crying. I feel like I am being an incredible burden and I absolutely hate myself for it. So, last year, we have reapplied for financial aid (even though their policy was to not give anything to returning international students). Our request was rejected as expected, and the finaid people said that they didn't have the resources to give returning international students any aid. So that was that.
This did not come up until last week, when my friend from the country that I am from got some form of a "scholarship". My mom learned about this because she is in finance and takes care of all the international wires and money stuff for them. So, when she saw that they were sending less money, she asked my friend's mom what was going on, and they said that my friend "talked to somebody - a professor" and somehow got some sort of aid. There is also a back story to this, my friend's dad is a surgeon and I guess he hurt his hand and therefore he is having trouble paying, so I am guessing he told them that.

And my parents have been bugging me about this ever since. They are saying that I should talk to my professors in the Math department, since they know me very well and they might be able to help. I am horribly embarrassed and I don't know how to even start talking about something like this to a professor. This is making me very stressed out and I feel absolutely horrible - knowing that there isn't much I can do but seeing that my parents think otherwise. Their logic works this way: If there was a way for him to get it, then you should be able to do the same. Mine works this way: I have applied, got rejected and I don't think much else is going to help. Sorry for the long rant, but combine a very busy workload and stress with some more stress and parents that don't speak English and have very little knowledge of how things work in the US, you have yourselves an exploding head.

Overall, I have two questions:
1. Is it okay to approach a professor like this? Is it awkward? Inappropriate? A definite no-no? How do I even start?
2. Where else can I find scholarships? Keep in mind, I am an international, so I have to cross a lot of things off of my list. If it matters, I am a Caucasian female. Who do I talk to? Who do I approach?

I am open to all suggestions.
Thank you.

Help me get over my stupid complexes so I can enjoy/succeed in college academics/life.

randomname25 — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:17:59 -0800

I'm finally on my own and liberal arts school should be the place for me. But I'm still approaching my coursework from the standpoint of "how little can I do and how late can I do it and still not utterly fail," and it's making me hate myself. This is very long, and for that I am sorry. Since I'm talking about a psychological problem it's hard for me to determine which details are important and which aren't.

I'm a sophomore at a small liberal arts school. I went to a Montessori elementary school, where almost no homework was assigned, and started public school in fifth grade, where instantly a ton of homework was assigned (new teacher). My mom would keep me in my room from the time I got home to around 10 or 11 pm (with a break for dinner), making sure I did everything up to her unreasonably high standards. When I protested she would yell at me that all work and no play was how it was going to be for most of my life and that, essentially, I was deeply defective if I didn't adapt. When I would refuse to do my homework entirely, she'd call my dad up and he'd join in. This was the period of tension that preceded my highly educated parents' extremely acrimonious and loud divorce, and this was one of the few activities they could still partake in together. Sitting down to do homework became associated with humiliation and submission. The disgust with which my mom (who was most other times very loving) looked at me when I failed to understand something turned learning from the ongoing adventure I used to see it as into an ongoing anxiety-inducing question of my worth.

Near the end of that year my parents were largely too busy screaming at each other to monitor me constantly and I started slacking off. Sixth grade, I did almost no homework and told my mom most mornings that I had been vomiting so I wouldn't have to go to school. I didn't even hate school itself at first (though I wasn't crazy about it); I just entertained this notion that I could catch up on all my old work in private if I could put off the teachers holding me accountable for one more day. But of course I just stayed on the couch pretending to be sick (my parents were almost never both in the house during the day, so it was peaceful, if mind-numbing). Eventually I stopped pretending I would catch up but lied about vomiting anyway to avoid the glares of the teachers who now resented me and the students who always disliked me (it took me until college to understand and be confident in peer interactions). The staying home mostly stopped when my mom took me for an MRI, the doctors failed to find any brain tumors, and she started demanding to see the puke. My parents would often berate me and tell me I was going nowhere fast in life because I wasn't doing my work, but I steadfastly refused to sit when they told me to, and they gave up on forcing me.

There were parent/teacher conferences (the way my parents brought their personal drama into these is more movie material than probably anything else in my life). I was made to see a social worker. In seventh grade I got an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) for "emotional disability" and spent one period every day fighting with my caseworker over my right not to do my assignments. This IEP stayed with me throughout high school. I'm pretty sure I failed seventh grade (hurray for social promotion). Eighth grade was mostly C's and D's. My parents' divorce was finalized.

I got to high school not knowing how to try (even though part of me really wanted to, so as to get into college). I paid excellent attention in most classes because I found them interesting, participated enthusiastically (yeah, I was that girl), and did well on tests that didn't require knowledge from homework. My freshman/sophomore year average was maybe a 2.0. My mom's mental health was declining dramatically. The summer before my junior year, my mom died after drunkenly crashing her car. Junior year I got maybe a 2.9 first semester and a 3.5 second semester. Senior year I got around a 2.6 first semester (these are really all estimations, I don't remember that well) and something awful like 1.5 the second since I had already gotten into college (they didn't rescind my admission, bless them). I had gotten into college in spite of these mostly atrocious grades because of my crazy/dead mommy story, 34 on the ACT, and status as a National Merit Semifinalist.

I cared about my grades in a way that made me beat myself up more than try to succeed. I tried to keep my head above water in panicked nights of kicking myself, but that's trying not to fail. I cared deeply and anxiously about my performance on particular assignments. Writing papers was the big one. I would sit at the computer unable to come up with or structure my ideas until insane hours of the night. Often, my almost invariably A papers were severely penalized for lateness. I'd think to myself, "you're disgusting," but ultimately I preferred an A dropped down to a D for lateness over a straight B. Evidence that one fine theoretical day, once I got over my complexes, I could be a serious intellectual was so much more important to me than my grade point average.

This has followed me into college, where I've been for over a year. I used to not be able to write my papers until insane hours of the night immediately before they were due, until I realized that some professors accept late work sometimes, and now I can rarely motivate myself to get them in on time. I almost never do readings, feeling like I'm failing when they're taking too long, preferring the fleeting feeling that I'm not stupid as I read easy articles on the internet. I always start the term out OK, but as soon as my workload becomes even slightly difficult to manage, I retreat into avoidance. It doesn't matter how much I like the subject. Then the absolute due dates come, and I'm up, sleep-deprived, in my room, consumed by fear and intense self-loathing, trying to cry for some feeling of release, and yet unable to. Every time this happens I grow to hate school a little bit more and avoid it a little more eagerly the next time I think I can get away with it. I got a 3.3 first semester freshman year after dropping from 4 classes to 3, a 2.6 second semester freshman year after doing the same thing, and now sophomore year I'm taking 4 classes and am terribly behind in my work.

I talk to my intellectually-oriented, high-achieving friends wondering what they'd think of me if they knew what I really was. I lie in the arms of the girl I like knowing she'd kick me out of bed if she knew of all the assignments I should be working on. I stare at my computer screen at the introductory paragraph of a week-overdue paper, too paralyzed and disgusted by the fact that I haven't read the book to put together a body (even though I've done it countless times before). I sit in class discussions largely silent, because now that I'm in college I can't participate meaningfully without doing the work. I'M SICK OF THIS. I want better grades, yes, but what I want most is to get the education I'm paying for. I no longer believe that screwing around is what's going to make me happy, but spending hours listening to Dan Savage and reading soft news on NYT reminds me so much of Pokemon Red, and I can't help but think that I'm a 19-year-old trapped in a 10-year-old's emotional baggage. Help?

Gap in work history

cheechman85 — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:27:31 -0800

How would an employer view a 2-3 year gap of lack of employment? (Details inside) I am a 24 year old guy who messed up in college early on. Since messing up, I have held a an inside sales job in the IT industry. I have been doing well, with a 60% increase in salary since my first year. I consider myself to be very lucky.

However, lately business has slowed down and things are not looking good. Also, I see no room for moving up in this company ( in terms of position, not salary.) I also have been aspiring to get my degree and I see this as a good opportunity. I'd like to quit my job and go back to school full-time w/ a partime job to support myself.

My quesiton is: Would an employer view the years of my schooling as a negative since it is a gap in work history?

Would the schooling actually be worth it?

Will the experience I have gained in the past 4 years at my job still be applicable to another employer once I have graduated?

Any advice as how to go about this in a better way?

Housemate doesn't clean up after himself. Help.

dunkadunc — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:58:24 -0800

My housemate doesn't clean up, like ever. How can I do to make things work, or at least more bearable? I've been sharing an apartment since the beginning of September with an old acquaintance, and everything's been going well enough. EXCEPT:
My housemate doesn't help out with the cleaning. Every day I come home to even more mess, and it's starting to really bug me.

Some background here: My housemate and I are both 23, male, and college seniors. We went to high school together but lost touch after graduation. I was looking for a housemate for an apartment I found this August, and a mutual friend said Housemate (whose mom died last year) was looking for a place as well. We signed a lease, moved in and started school, so far so good.
The first hint I got that Housemate wasn't very good at cleaning was about a week in when he asked me what "rinsing" dishes meant. Since then, he's remained pleasant, but the amount of housework he's done has gone from little to almost none.

The main problems:
-His dishes stay dirty in the sink either until I wash them or there are no more clean ones, whereupon he washes a dirty one, uses it, and puts it back in the sink. The same thing goes for pots and pans. I can count the number of times he's washed all the dishes in the sink on one hand, and even then they've come out covered in brown curry grease and needed to be washed again.

-When asked to wash his dirty pots and pans that were filling up the sink, Housemate was surprised that I would want them to be cleaned even if I wasn't immediately going to use them. Housemate said that he would wash them before he needed them again "only as a favor". He cooks about four gallons of curry every two weeks.

-Although he was willing to split the cost of a $50 vacuum cleaner, the only time he's picked up a broom was when he broke a glass. He's been leaving brown greasy globs of curry on all the kitchen surfaces and covers the floor in oil when he cooks. All these problems with cleaning up have carried over to the bathroom as well.

Apart from all this, he's been a decent housemate, asking if I want to watch cartoons or split a pizza or whatnot, or coming out to parties with me.
I've talked to him about washing dishes and cleaning up around the apartment, and he's always said "sure"- the problem is it doesn't end up happening. He tends to drink beers and watch cartoons when he's done with schoolwork and doesn't have anything to do, so it seems like a combination of procrastination and just not knowing how to run a household: his mom used to do all the housekeeping.

What can I do to encourage him to do his share of housework, or failing that, what can I do to minimize the amount of mess I have to deal with? Ideally, we would clean up after ourselves, and if someone else missed something then the other would clean it, no problem.
I don't want to be that passive-aggressive guy, but something's got to change, since I'd like to be able to have guests over without feeling embarrassed. I'd be tempted to only clean up after myself, but I'm afraid the apartment would be taken over by maggots.

How do I break the "ice" with others (especially girls) and get closer with them?

rintako — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 22:54:44 -0800

How do I break the "ice" with others (especially girls) and get closer with them? Hi. I am a freshman in college. While I wasn't the most popular in high school, I was well known by many and had many girl friends, but no girlfriend, just flirted and played with some girls.

Anyway, what's been bothering me is that there are some people I talk to almost everyday in college but it's always the how are you, how's studying, how was your exam, what are you up to this weekend? I also haven't been able to meet as many girls as I would like to.

I was wondering if anyone could explain why this is. Is there a way to break the "ice" with these people and also with girls. It seems that I have trouble having a deep conversation with anyone other than how are you and some small talk about what's happening around on campus.

Thanks.

The 40-Year-Old Electrical Engineer

lekvar — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:59:52 -0800

How are things looking for Electrical Engineers? I'm considering going back to school to get a degree in Electrical Engineering and I was hoping that The Hivemind could provide some perspective.

Firstly, what is the market like for someone with a BS in Electrical Engineering? What jobs are commonly available in the US? I've done some looking around and the school's website is a little vague about the particulars.

Secondly, and probably more importantly, what kinds of hurdles will I be facing as a 40 year old with a freshly-minted degree?

Science for a non-science major

madforplaid — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:06:55 -0800

I am returning to college to complete my bachelors degree and need to take a natural science class to fulfill general education requirements. Which class is the best choice for someone who is utterly intimidated by science? I am an accounting major and have not studied any type of science since high school (approximately 10 years ago). It was always my least favorite class in school because I thought it was boring and I never had the aptitude for it.

Biology is required, and I must choose an additional class from Astronomy, Chemistry, Physics, or Geology. All four are equally terrifying to me. Which of these fields is the most accessible and/or has the shallowest learning curve for a science dunce such as myself?

What copyright/licensing concerns should I have about pro bono SAT prep tutoring?

Anonymous — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 06:50:25 -0800

What copyright/licensing concerns should I have about pro bono SAT prep tutoring? I am thinking about teaching a free SAT prep class for students at a failing school in my NYC neighborhood. I would like to use the official books published by the College Board as part of my curriculum. I would not be profiting off the classes and the prep books would be purchased by each student. What, if any, legal issues should I be aware of?

I have successfully taught SAT prep to disadvantaged students before, so my question is really about the legal issues involved in this undertaking.

What to do with forgotten flash drives?

Anonymous — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:04:00 -0800

For those of you who work in computer labs, what is your policy for dealing with flash drives that have been forgotten by a student? I'm a teacher at a small college in the computer department. Three or four flash drives are forgotten by someone in our computer labs every week. The lab supervisor puts these drives on a plate near his desk, which is accessible to anyone walking by. I do know of at least one case where a drive was found, and the next day, it was gone (and it wasn't picked up by the owner).

Shouldn't these drives be treated with the same care as someone's wallet or purse? Could we be liable if someone is a victim of identity theft because their drive was easily taken from the lost-and-found? If we look at the contents of a drive in an effort to figure out who it belongs to, what happens if a student blames us for anything from deleting their homework file to stealing their passwords?

There is no campus-wide policy on this, as far as I know. The lab supervisor is really a good guy in general (and has been there forever and is well-loved), but I don't think he really gets how valuable these drives can be to someone who has all their work (and possibly passwords and other sensitive information) saved on it. Or how valuable they can be to someone who wants easy access to that kind of information.

So, what do you do in your lab? Do you lock drives up? Do you plug the drive in and look through the contents in order to figure who the owner is? Do you make an effort to contact the owner? Is there a sane policy or procedure we could put in place that doesn't cause too much extra work for the lab staff and also protects the drives and ourselves?

Apologies for the length and anonymity, but I don't have tenure yet, so I'd like to not associate my name with potential conflicts with long-time beloved employees. If you want to email me directly, use forgetfulstudents@gmail.com.

What should I know for a UK College Lab Assistant job interview?

D J Robertstein — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:10:26 -0800

What should I know and what could help me in a job interview for a UK College Lab Technician? I graduated in Biological Science last year and this is my first job interview I've had for a science-based job since. Since it's been a year I may be a bit rusty with my lab lingo and know how, so are there any lab technicians or people who hire them, or even an education professional who could give me other subjects I should bone up on? For example, COSHH guidelines for lab technicians, suppliers, etc.

Secondly, what kind of questions do you think I'll be asked? And what qualities will they be looking for? This is the most important aspect for me at the moment.

Can I find a school that teaches what I want to learn?

niles — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:10:35 -0800

I'm currently attending MyCounty Tech School, and have been planning to transfer to Local Private University next fall to finish my Computer Science/IT bachelors. The thing is, I really don't know if that's the right way to wrap up my schooling. Can I get some recommendations on what to look for in a good CS program, and recommendations on slightly non-traditional/accelerated ways of getting a degree in Computer Science? More background info inside. Since high school I've been planning on studying some combination of computer arts/graphic design and computer science, both fields that I believe I have very good experience in. I was heavily involved in the graphics program at my school, and my junior and senior year took 300 level CS courses at Local Private University. I have also been working for several years at a job that has given me extensive real world technology experience.

Now I've effectively spent two years in college (I did take one year after high school to attend a leadership/volunteering program), I don't know if Local Private University is the way to go, for several reasons.

I would also call myself autodidactic, and I get very frustrated with the opportunity cost of school - I'm so busy ostensibly learning that I don't have time to actually learn (that is, teach myself). This feeling is exacerbated by the fact that I haven't found a school that teaches what I want to learn. I've looked at TESC as a way to finish school quickly, but they don't have a graphics program and I'm also wary of the benefits of "Computer Science by mail."

I realize that the 100 and 200 level courses are necessary for a good foundation, but is there a school out there that would let me roll my experience into a way to finish school quicker? I also wonder if there are any accelerated programs out there, where classes meet several times a week and finish after a few months, rather than meeting just twice a week for the entire semester.

Finally, is there a school out there that teaches the things I think would be useful and relevant? Local Private University has a "Web Development" major, but it doesn't cover things like AJAX or PHP, both things I've been teaching myself as time permits. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I think I should be able to take classes in topics like that, yet I can't find a school that offers that.
I've also been teaching myself After Effects and other video editing software, which has been a lot of fun and has even resulted in some side jobs, but again - I can't find a school that offers classes in what I think is a necessary skill set.

There's a lot more questions I have that I suppose would be nice to bounce off of a high school guidance counselor, as I don't imagine Local Private University will be handing out recommendations for competing CS programs, but I think this will cover it for this week.

Sorry this got so long. :/ I've highlighted the questions to make them more obvious.

Was I ripped off by the graduate school admissions committee at a top 10 university?

Anonymous — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:25:51 -0800

Was I ripped off by the graduate school admissions committee at a top 10 university? I applied to a CS master's program at a top 10 US university a few months ago. I had still not received any sort of answer from the school (mail, email, or otherwise) the weekend before the term (I had applied for) began. I called the program that Friday, but nobody answered. I emailed three different addresses; only one person answered, the director of the program. He emailed me on Sunday morning, the day before the term started. His email said that my application was rejected because I haven't had any math since high school, and because the admissions committee could not determine my mathematics background. In reality, I have taken five math courses in college, including an entire Calculus sequence, and I got A's in all of these.

These math courses were on my undergraduate transcripts; the university's "application status" website indicated that these transcripts had been received, so the program should've been aware that I had taken these courses. I emailed the director back, but he dodged my questions and became argumentative. He's now ignoring my email messages to him.

I feel that my application wasn't taken seriously, that the admissions committee made mistakes in evaluating my application (and is refusing to admit that they did), and that it was wrong of the school to inform me of my admission status the day before the term I applied for was to begin (if I wouldn't have emailed them, I probably would've have never known if I had been admitted or rejected--they have never sent me an official rejection letter). In short, I feel ripped off.

I paid nearly $100 to apply to this program, and I am far from rich. Am I entitled to refund? What would you do if you were me? I emailed the president of the university, explaining my situation, but my emails have been ignored.