Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with coffeeshops

Do they mind me staying here all day (and tomorrow, and Friday...)?

tristeza — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:45:49 -0800

YANMB (You Are Not My Barista): Do the folks at the coffee shop where I've been working all day mind me taking up space if I'm buying stuff all day and it's not crowded? It's hotter than SHIT in Seattle today and the A/C in my office building doesn't work when temps go over 80.

I've been sitting in the new Starbucks-"inspired" coffee shop in my 'hood (they have beer!!) since 8:30 this morning, consistently buying stuff (including lunch) so I can take advantage of the A/C.

I've never worked in a cafe before, so don't know - is this "legal"? Do they care how long one stays as long as it's not crowded and you're spending $$?

I live in dread fear of inconveniencing people, this is a stupid question, I am sure. However, I need somewhere to work for the rest of the week, and this place is just lovely, I'd like to move in for a few days and spend more money.

How do you handle dealing with customers who make you uncomfortable -- when you were hired to be friendly and available/approachable?

Anonymous — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:29:04 -0800

How do you handle dealing with customers who make you uncomfortable -- when you were hired to be friendly and available/approachable . . . and maybe for your looks, too? I was recently hired as a barista at a well-known chain of coffee shops. Although I grew up an ugly duckling, my looks now are unusual/striking (although I don't see it, I'm told I'm attractive, and I get some modeling work). My type is especially favored by the demographic of the neighborhood where I live and now work. (For comparison, imagine I'm a six-foot redheaded white girl working in a US city's Chinatown.) After I was hired, coworkers told me that the manager based his decision partially on my "rare" looks. It's been a long time since anyone got hired at this location, especially without any experience, and all applications are now being turned down, so obviously there was some reason an exception was made for me -- that could be true.

Baristas are also chosen to be especially friendly and sociable, which I did know. I didn't expect to have difficulty with that, since I'm a pretty friendly and welcoming person, but I also didn't realize what it would be like to work with the general public. Even in high school, I only had white-collar office jobs. I don't mind this job -- the duties are mostly interesting and the coworkers are a lot of fun. In this economy, I'm okay with scrubbing toilets. But I just don't have any experience with dealing with the general public face to face, so I don't know what to do.

There are a lot of men who treat me in a way I'm not comfortable with. No customers have made lewd, explicit comments the way some men do on the street, but I still feel uncomfortable with the way some male customers interact with me. I'm not sure I can complain, though, since this is basically what I was hired for, apparently. Tips have increased 125% since I started working full-time, so the manager and coworkers are all happy (all tips go into a communal pot, then at the end of the week it's divided equally based on hours worked). I'm the one who feels not so happy, awkward and unsure of myself. If I were okay with profiting off my looks at the expense of my comfort, I could be making a lot more money doing sex work, but I consciously decided against that.

There are some customers who just look too much at my body or who treat me differently/uncomfortably. But those encounters are brief (usually just seconds while ordering or while I make their coffee) so I can deal with those if I have to. Anyway, I don't think it would be realistic to try to stamp out things like "good morning, beautiful" or "my drink tastes better when it's made with your smile." I feel like those should be totally fine with me if I had the coping skills I should have learned as a young teenager, but I was very, very unattractive until I was 20. So I feel like that discomfort is my fault and something I should learn to ignore.

However, the biggest issue feels different, and even if I had grown up attractive, even if I knew how to handle myself, I think it would still be problematic. There are a few eccentric older men who have made this coffee shop their hangout spot. I'll choose one, "Gary," as an example. He's older, retired, and spends almost all day here (from late morning until we close at midnight). At least once per shift, he'll come up to me and strike up a long conversation. This is while I'm trying to do other things (sweep, restock, clean) -- but I can't use that as an excuse since my #1 job duty is to be welcoming and accessible. Gary has also started bringing me gifts, which was fine when it was little things like Lindt truffles, but over the course of two weeks, it's progressed to DVDs (of a 3-hour interview he wants me to watch so we can discuss). Apparently Gary has given little things to girls in the past, but coworkers are remarking how much he likes me especially. All his gifts are presented with speeches about qualities he's projecting onto me. He's a little socially awkward and he seems like a dead-on "Nice Guy," so I'm scared about what he might expect, or feel he deserves, in exchange.

I don't feel physically threatened, I think. I'm a little concerned because he always stays until we close at midnight, and it would be easy for him to follow me the 2 or 3 deserted blocks back to my apartment. Mostly, though, I just feel like his behavior is inappropriate and making me uncomfortable, and I don't know how to avoid it.

I'm afraid to approach the manager because I don't want to be perceived as a complainer, not a team worker, or someone who's ignoring their main job duty. (I'm also a little concerned about the manager's impartiality if he did hire me based on my looks.) I can't be politely dismissive or brusque with Gary, or "too busy" to talk to him, for the same reasons -- being friendly is basically my top task. I can't blame company policy to turn down his gifts, since other girls always accept/have accepted them. I'm not sure what else I can do. To work, I wear loose black polo and pants, a loose green apron, my long hair tied back into a severe bun under a baseball cap, glasses rather than contacts, and no makeup at all. In general I want to appear not attractive, and especially not looking for validation or feedback based on my looks.

I'm also changing my behavior. Occasionally I would play around, dancing with the mop or humming along with a song, and I think this playful or fun nature also contributed to my hiring. Now I stop myself from doing that because I want to seem businesslike and I don't want to give Gary anything else to talk about, or a chance to see anything more personal about me. I'm also reluctant to be friendlier with other customers or with coworkers, in case Gary sees that and comments (to me or to my manager) that I'm not being equally genuine and open with him. So I feel that Gary, and the other guys like him, are having a significant effect on my confidence and my behavior, but that still isn't a solution -- in fact the issue is still escalating.

I sincerely appreciate any possible advice, since I have no idea what to do -- I just can't quit. In this economy I'm very lucky to have gotten even a job as a barista (full-time, with benefits!). I realize I'm kind of stuck in a corner here, which is why I'm coming to AskMe, so "just put up with it so you can pay the rent" may be the best suggestion there is, which is fine. Thank you guys so much.

Help our bookclub find a place to meet.

Ash3000 — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 10:42:19 -0800

Trying to find a good venue for a book club in NYC to meet - a coffeeshop or independent bookstore would be ideal, but certainly not necessary. The only real considerations are that it be public, not super-packed on Wednesday nights when we meet, and a place where we can either purchase or bring a bottle of wine - more inside. For our test meeting a few weeks ago, we tried Tea Spot in Greenwich Village. Tea Spot is a lovely, quietish place for crumpets and conversation, but some opined that we might be better off with a place where we could purchase or bring a bottle of wine, perhaps a sort of Plato's-Symposium type deal, or a place that requires less scouting out a table beforehand (it was fairly packed.)

A perfect example of what we're looking for would be Think Coffee in the Village, except it's super-packed at any given time and probably not the most conducive to discussion. Any suggestions overall - perhaps a really nice independent bookstore that deserves our patronage and would provide a table, and maybe discounted books? Or maybe a coffeeshop with more than just coffee?

I'm happy to answer any other questions about the group - thanks!

Stealing souls at an Austin-area coffee haunt. Location ideas?

bumbleintuit — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 22:36:48 -0800

I am a photographer in the Austin, TX area looking to do a shoot at a local coffeehouse. My hope is to find one which has an uncovered outdoor patio, with individual tables and chairs. Not so much interested in the picnic table variety of seating. Also, tables with a parasol or table umbrella over it would be swell. Any ideas?

city dog, country human

splendid animal — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 00:47:11 -0800

Can I go inside to order at a coffee shop when I have a dog with me? I recently began walking a dog 3 days/week in order to earn some spare cash while satisfying my need for a canine companion (I'm not able to have a dog of my own right now). He's a standard poodle (i.e., around 55lbs, fluffy, and absolutely adorable), and easily the most well-behaved dog I've ever known. I would like to be able to sit with him OUTSIDE at a coffee shop for an hour or so to do some light reading/work in his company.

There are a number of coffee shops along our walk routes, but I don't know if there's an etiquette (or if it's even legal!) for bringing him inside while I order, after which I would enjoy my drink with him at a table outside. I have a lot of dog experience, but am from a rural area and this whole dog-in-the-city thing is new to me. So I don't know if this is something I could do when it's just him and me. I don't want to just tie him outside because I'm afraid somebody would dognap him or otherwise make trouble - and again, I'm the dogsitter, not the dog-parent (his parents don't care where we walk or hang out as long as he's getting some exercise and company). My number one priority is to make sure he's safe and that we're not causing any mischief (or worse) when we're out and about.

I apologize if this is a silly or obvious question, but I am truly oblivious about this city-dog stuff. We're in West LA (near UCLA), if that helps. (I know the most obvious answer is probably "go to the coffee shop after you've walked him," but I just want to know if it's possible for me to take him along. I keep daydreaming about me, this wonderful dog, a cup of tea, and some productive journal-reading on a sunny afternoon in LA...)

San Diego visitor tips for Seaworld area, and do we need a car?

LobsterMitten — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 09:30:17 -0800

Visiting San Diego this weekend: do we need a rental car, and is there anything secret and great near Seaworld that we should see? (esp. good coffeeshops for hanging around in?) We'll be going to and from the airport, to a hotel near SeaWorld, to Mission Beach, University of San Diego, and a Padres game. Can we reasonably do all this without a rental car (on buses or by taxi)? If we rent a car, are there any secrets to driving around those areas (eg routes to definitely avoid)? Are there good coffeeshops or book/comic/record stores near where we'll be? Great medium-price restaurants? Other must-sees for bookish types interested in architecture, old stuff, baseball?

Good public study spaces in South Florida?

JamesToast — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 11:50:41 -0800

Favorite libraries or public study spaces in South Florida? I recently went into business for myself, but don't quite need an office just yet. I have been spending a lot of time at Starbucks, but my weak will combined with expensive, readily available treats is causing me to become fat and poor. I need wireless internet, and don't mind paying for it. I have spent some time in the local public libraries, but the ones I find are usually small and depressing. My dream would be a lush university library or something similar. Does anyone have a favorite library or other public study space?

gluten free Amsterdam

womble — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 10:50:44 -0800

Any tips for a gluten-free enjoyable trip to Amsterdam? My girlfriend and I are going to Amsterdam next week. She is a coeliac (Gluten intolerant) but we are hoping that we can enjoy all of the 'experiences' that Amsterdam has to offer without this getting in the way.

Whilst finding food generally can be done with a little careful looking around the specific problem is Amsterdam's coffeeshops. Does anyone know if there are coffeeshops whic sell the very nice cakes and cookies which have a particular ingredient, but in a gluten-free form?

Any help greatly appreciated